The Deadly Mantis (1957)
Not to be confused with the Shaw Brothers martial arts film of the same name from 1978, The Deadly Mantis (1957) is a creature feature in the idiom of Them! (1954). Unlike that film’s mutant ants, the monster on this occasion is not the product of the atomic age but a giant prehistoric praying mantis that has been released from the polar ice caps. Exactly how a creature associated with more tropical regions came to be at the North Pole is never explained. In fact precious little is in The Deadly Mantis. The film’s overall scope is somewhat limited with a basic story, limited action scenes and a rather dull cast of generic characters. There is an over reliance upon stock footage from period military documentaries and previous Universal Studio feature films. The film’s biggest failing is the giant praying mantis which does most of its rampaging conveniently off camera. It’s all rather disappointing.
Not to be confused with the Shaw Brothers martial arts film of the same name from 1978, The Deadly Mantis (1957) is a creature feature in the idiom of Them! (1954). Unlike that film’s mutant ants, the monster on this occasion is not the product of the atomic age but a giant prehistoric praying mantis that has been released from the polar ice caps. Exactly how a creature associated with more tropical regions came to be at the North Pole is never explained. In fact precious little is in The Deadly Mantis. The film’s overall scope is somewhat limited with a basic story, limited action scenes and a rather dull cast of generic characters. There is an over reliance upon stock footage from period military documentaries and previous Universal Studio feature films. The film’s biggest failing is the giant praying mantis which does most of its rampaging conveniently off camera. It’s all rather disappointing.
In the South Seas, a volcano erupts and the subsequent seismic disturbance disturbs North Pole polar ice sheets, releasing a 200 foot praying mantis that has been trapped there since prehistoric times. The monster attacks a remote outpost of Red Eagle One, a military early warning station. Despite personally leading the search, Commanding officer Col. Joe Parkman (Craig Stevens) cannot account for the incident or find an elusive blip that appears on radar. After a transport plane is attacked, a curious claw-like object is found in the wreckage. When Doctor of palaeontology, Nedrick Jackson (William Hopper), is asked to identify it he deduces that it is a spur from an insect's leg. Possibly from some unknown species of praying mantis. Dr. Jackson and photographer Marge Blaine (Alix Talton) travel to Red Eagle One to conduct further research. Shortly afterwards, the monster attacks again before migrating south to warmer climates, endangering the USA.
Director Nathan Juran, who was a competent genre film maker, has very little to work with in The Deadly Mantis. The budget is low and the script is arbitrary. The monster appears and the protagonists are confused. Then an academic identifies the threat and expedites the plot. A plucky female character is thrown into the mix for “love interest”. The praying mantis itself attacks a few miniature buildings, a fishing vessel and some vehicles. Minor cast members are killed off camera. The acting is adequate but the dialogue is perfunctory. The film paints with broad brush strokes and its primary saving grace is that it doesn’t outstay its welcome. Perhaps its best achievement is highlighting how superior Them! (1954) and The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953) are. Both of those films do more than the bare minimum and boast enjoyable screenplays and quirky characters.
Despite being considered by many as an original story, The Abominable Snowman (1957) is in fact a remake of a made for television play, The Creature, that was originally broadcast in the UK in 1955. Hammer Films would often purchase the rights of popular TV programs and subsequently re-work them for mainstream, international cinema. Larger production budgets and fewer censorship restrictions allowed them to make their cinematic interpretations more lurid, thus commercially viable. Hence The Quatermass Xperiment, Quatermass II and Quatermass and the Pit were all given a big screen makeover and were commercially successful. The Abominable Snowman was written by acclaimed writer Nigel Kneale, who also wrote the original television drama and the aforementioned Quatermass trilogy. Although ostensibly marketed as a horror film this production is actually an interesting blend of psychological thriller and science fiction.
In the near future, Kepler 822, a research and drilling facility located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, suffers a sudden and catastrophic structural failure. There are only six survivors. Mechanical engineer Norah Price (Kristen Stewart), Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel), biologist Emily Haversham (Jessica Henwick), engineer Liam Smith (John Gallagher Jr.) and crew members Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie) and Paul (T.J. Miller). As all the functional escape pods have been used and they are unable to contact the surface, the Captain suggests using pressurized suits to walk one mile across the ocean floor to the Roebuck 641 drill installation. There they will find more escape pods. However, it soon becomes apparent that the disaster was not caused by an undersea earthquake and that they are not alone as they make their journey.
One of the most common objections raised regarding the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World franchise is that the films are specifically made to obtain a PG-13 rating from the Motion Picture Association, for purely commercial reasons. Hence, in all films, there is little on screen violence and the dinosaurs are mainly portrayed as a threat and a means of providing jump scares. When a character is killed by a dinosaur it usually happens off screen, is obscured by something else in frame, or is shown in long shot with very little detail. The realities of being eaten alive by a predator are conspicuously absent. Hence, audiences looking for films featuring more graphic dinosaur attacks, have not been well catered for apart from some minor direct-to-video titles. Primitive War finally fills this gap in the market with a frenetic genre mashup that strives to punch above is budgetary weight.
Fluke is a curious film about a man who is reincarnated as a dog and his subsequent realisation that he may have been murdered. It takes an adult novel by British author James Herbert, which is filled with philosophical musing and strives to adapt it in a far more family friendly fashion. The result is a somewhat bipolar production which thematically alternates between existential introspection and Buddhism. It then strives to deliver its message in a Disneyesque idiom. Children will potentially be confused and upset by what they see and adults will be wrongfooted by the continual shift in tone. Fluke was not a critical or commercial success upon release and the flaws that were identified by critics at the time still ring true today. That being said, Fluke is still an interesting and entertaining film, despite its faults.
When reviewing Sting, one critic stated that the small scale setting and thus, low stakes (IE only a few peoples lives are at risk), made the film not especially memorable. I consider this to be a somewhat spurious criticism. It is the very fact that Sting takes place in such a commonplace environment, with the main characters being everyday people that makes it different. There is a clear focus on well defined characters and their backstory. Unlike so many contemporary films, I actually gave a damn about the protagonists in Sting. An integral aspect of the horror genre is the ability to take a well known and familiar trope and provide a different and absorbing spin on it .It would appear that some audiences have been belaboured over the head by so many overblown and bombastic blockbusters, that the very notion of depicting small, localised and intimate events in a film, seems to bamboozle them.
When I first saw Mimic in 1997, I was impressed by the fact that it offered a different perspective on the monster movie genre and that it seemed to have moments of greater depth than you'd expect from such material. Later on when I became more aware of the works of writer, director Guillermo del Toro, I learned that this movie had had a troubled production and that Miramx had imposed specific requirements upon the final cut of the film. This explained some of the movies inconsistencies and hinted at a far more ambitious artistic endeavour by del Toro. Initially Mimic was conceived as a thirty minute short and part of a three part anthology movie. However it along with the sci-fi film Imposter were both deemed to be of sufficient merit to be developed into feature length productions.
During the seventies, Hollywood started looking to ongoing societal and political concerns as a source of material for movies. Hence, the energy crisis, terrorism and global pollution quickly found themselves being subsumed into hastily written screenplays, in attempt to be topical, commercially successful and relevant. Prophecy based upon a novel by David Seltzer tackled not only the issue of pollution but also the ongoing disenfranchisement of Native Americans. Paramount studios went so far as hiring an established director of note, John Frankenheimer. In many respects this movie should have been a bigger success with a reasonable budget, robust cast and studio support. Sadly it did not fare well, either critically or at the box office due to obvious flaws in the production. Despite his outstanding body work, (Birdman of Alcatraz, The Manchurian Candidate) Frankenheimer was not the best choice of director for a genre movie such as this and he was also going through a period of alcoholism.
In Agua Dulce, California, the Haywood family trains horses for film and TV productions. One day at the Haywood ranch, small metal objects unaccountably fall from the sky. One of which, a nickel, kills Otis Haywood Sr (Keith David). His children, Emerald “Em” Haywood (Keke Palmer) and Otis “OJ” Haywood Jr. (Daniel Kaluuya), continue to run the business. However, due to the loss of a contract, they have to sell some of the horses to Ricky “Jupe” Park (Steven Yeun), who operates a Western theme park called Jupiter's Claim. One night, the Haywood’s notice the electricity supply fluctuating and their horses violently reacting to an unknown presence. They discover that something has been taking their horses and regurgitating inorganic matter, which OJ believes caused their father's death. The Haywood’s decide to obtain proof and subsequently ask electronics store employee and UFO enthusiast, Angel Torres (Brandon Perea) to set up surveillance cameras.
Back in 2018 I wrote the following about The Meg in my review. “My interest doesn’t go so far as a sequel. This sort of movie is the equivalent of a greasy burger you buy at the funfair. It’s fine once in a while as an indulgence, despite the fact that you know it’s bad, but you would soon tire of them being a regular part of my diet”. Five years later, I foolishly thought it may be “fun” to give the sequel, Meg 2: The Trench (2023), a go. Especially in light of the fact that it’s directed by Ben Wheatley. Surely such a filmmaker would bring some creativity and a fresh perspective to this franchise? Nope. Turns out he didn’t. Meg 2: The Trench lacks everything that made its predecessor tolerable. This superfluous sequel is an uninspired, poorly written mess which confuses turning everything up to eleven with entertainment. It gets nowhere near “it’s so bad, it’s good” territory. Instead it makes the biggest mistake a film of this nature can do. It’s dull.
Not to be confused with the Shaw Brothers martial arts film of the same name from 1978, The Deadly Mantis (1957) is a creature feature in the idiom of Them! (1954). Unlike that film’s mutant ants, the monster on this occasion is not the product of the atomic age but a giant prehistoric praying mantis that has been released from the polar ice caps. Exactly how a creature associated with more tropical regions came to be at the North Pole is never explained. In fact precious little is in The Deadly Mantis. The film’s overall scope is somewhat limited with a basic story, limited action scenes and a rather dull cast of generic characters. There is an over reliance upon stock footage from period military documentaries and previous Universal Studio feature films. The film’s biggest failing is the giant praying mantis which does most of its rampaging conveniently off camera. It’s all rather disappointing.
It is no secret that the film industry relies on a handful of common tropes as the mainstay of their cinematic output. It uses timeless themes, storylines and archetypes that have featured in folk tales, plays and literature throughout history. Hence their familiarity with audiences around the world. Where the skill in filmmaking lies is to take a common, well known idea and interpret it in a new and innovative fashion. Akira Kurosawa took Shakespeare’s MacBeth and retold the tale through the prism of Japanese feudalistic culture. The result, Throne of Blood, is considered a masterpiece. Similarly, The Lion King retells the same story through the medium of animation and anthropomorphic wildlife. All of which proves that the key to successfully retelling a familiar tale is to be creative with regard to setting, presentation and perspective.
Jurassic World Dominion is a textbook example of a franchise that has run out of steam. Despite the enormous budget, the top notch production values and the presence of three members of the original cast, this is a long, tedious and curiously uneventful film. It has nothing new to say about environmental matters or unfettered science; themes that were front and centre in previous instalments. Nor does it do anything interesting with the main plot device of dinosaurs trying to integrate into our current ecosystems. But perhaps its biggest failing is the conspicuous lack of tension. The denizens of Jurassic World are simply not a threat and fail to have any emotional impact. The film doesn’t even placate viewers with superfluous cast members being eaten. The onscreen deaths by dinosaurs are rather tame.
Set in Brazil in 1901, plantation owner Christopher Leiningen (Charlton Heston) makes arrangements to get married. He has spent his entire life building his estate and reclaiming land from the jungle. He is fiercely independent but he is also alone and isolated. Joanna Selby (Eleanor Parker) from New Orleans agrees to marry him but their first meeting does not go well. Leiningen is unhappy to discover that Joanna is a widow and hence has a past, so he tells her to return to America on the next available boat. However, local commissioner (William Conrad) informs Leiningen that swarming soldier ants, or Marabunta, are moving towards his plantation destroying everything in their path. Leiningen refuses to abandon his life’s work and is surprised when Joanna decides to stay with him. Can they convince their native workers to stay too and can they defend the estate from the Marabunta, described as “forty square miles of agonising death”.
After the critical and commercial success of Jaws in 1975, a veritable tsunami of “creature feature” movies followed in its wake. A few titles, such as Alligator (1980) and Piranha (1978) managed to do something different with the rogue animal trope, both providing a quirky and satirical look at the genre along with plenty of exploitation mayhem. However, most of the rest were low budget productions of negligible quality. However, such qualities are not always an impediment at the box office. Grizzly (1976) was hastily made on a budget of $750,000 yet earned an impressive $39,000,000 at the box office. The critics hated it but the public loved it and it went on to be the second most financially successful independent feature film in the US that year (the first being Monty Python and the Holy Grail). Grizzly is in many ways a microcosm of the exploitation genre from the seventies and needs to be viewed through that prism if it is to be enjoyed.
The seventies saw a minor boom in creature feature films after the box office success of Jaws. Hence, we had movies such as Orca (1977), Tentacles (1977), The Pack (1977) and Piranha (1978). If an animal could eat you or potentially pose any threat to people, someone somewhere would make a movie about it. Usually a bad one. A few of these even dared to stray into other hot topics of the time such as pollution and protecting the environment. Some would even invoke mysticism and folk lore to facilitate their protagonists. Nightwing is one such curious genre hybrid which combines vampire bats, shale oil mining and Native American culture in its clumsy and unsubtle plot. It’s a somewhat odd undertaking, directed by Arthur Hiller. His previous work included Love Story (1970) and Silver Streak (1976), so he was not the first person you’d expect to see associated with such material. The film doesn’t work well as either a horror movie or an exploration of social issues, but like so many movies from this era, it is of interest mainly due to its sheer incongruity.
If you have seen any of the marketing material or trailers for The Meg, then you know exactly what you’re getting right from the get-go. All movies inherently require the viewer to suspend their sense of disbelief to various degrees. Naturally, the “creature feature” genre asks audience to go the extra mile with this concept. The Meg takes a major gamble by insisting that everyone goes further still, not by believing in a giant prehistoric shark (Megalodon) but that Jason Statham is a ex-navy, deep sea rescue diver. However, it pays off and the resulting movie is staggeringly stupid, but mercifully entertaining in an undemanding way. Recent movies such as Into the Storm and Geostorm are crass and made worse by their implicit assumption that their viewers are stupid. The Meg is far from cerebral but has an upbeat tone and a sense of playfulness that knowingly invites the audience to come aboard with the silliness. It’s a big distinction and the reason why I smiled a lot and frequently rolled my eyes while watching The Meg, but never with derision.
Critical opinion was very much split this summer when Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was released. However, the viewers were somewhat indifferent to the opinions of the professional critics and the movie made a healthy $1,303,476,615 globally, proving once again that the public’s’ continuing love affair with “all things dinosaur” shows no sign of abating. When you factor in the home media market into overall profits, the entire Jurassic Park franchise will have made $5 billion worldwide. So, bearing in mind the old adage that “money talks and bullshit walks”, I think it’s safe to say there’ll be more instalments in the years to come. When faced with such overwhelming box office popularity it seems somewhat pointless to dissect the latest movie, because the film seems to be bullet proof regardless of narrative flaws or ill-conceived plot devices. However, film criticism isn’t about box office popularity but about analysing the relative quality of a movie’s construction and its subsequent standing.
I first saw The Land That Time Forgot way back in 1975 at the Odeon Isle of Wight, when it was first released. We were on holiday at the time, which was cause for celebration in itself, as these were few and far between during my youth, due to the state of the UK economy at the time. But to then go to the cinema and see a fantasy film, filled with action, adventure and monsters, was the icing on the cake for an over excited eight-year-old. Adapted by Michael Moorcock and James Cawthorn from the 1924 the novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Land That Time Forgot is a classic example of high adventure on a low budget. Its technical shortcomings were even apparent to me as a child, yet there was a charm and honesty to this curious British production, that had the audacity to try and compete with the likes of more expensive US productions such as The Golden Voyage of Sinbad and Island at the Top of the World.
Black Sheep is a high concept horror comedy from New Zealand. Featuring creative physical effects by Weta Workshop, this tale of genetically modified killer sheep, animal husbandry and environmentalism requires a very broad sense of humour and an abiding love for the “creature feature” sub-genre. It should be noted that the copy I watched was the unrated R1 DVD. This version is stronger in content than the R rated US theatrical release and yet was released at the UK cinemas with only a 15 rating from the BBFC. I suspect that the similarities in humour between the UK and New Zealand contributed to this somewhat low rating. That and the fact that horror comedy often gets a free pass because the humour always tends to mitigate the violence.
Frank Darabont achieved both critical acclaim and mass appeal with his adaptations of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. In 2007 he returned once again to the work of Stephen King with his film version of The Mist. It’s a sideways step away from human drama into a more genre piece, yet it still retains a very traditional story at its heart. Once you look beyond the superficial elements of "creature feature" plot, you get yet another well written character study by an ensemble cast, again focusing on how the human condition deals with extreme situations. The particular route it takes and some of the themes it explores may not be to everyone's taste. However, it still focuses on characters and performances. It is also a movie that ends with a somewhat unexpected plot development, that some viewers may find a little extreme. It is one of those film related twists that if known in advance, greatly diminishes once enjoyment of the film.
When you see the names of such cinematic luminaries as Steven Spielberg and J.J. Abrams together on the same movie poster, naturally your expectations are going to be high. Yet when watching the various trailers for Super 8, just prior to its release in 2011, I was somewhat cautious. I have discussed in the past at some length the ambiguous nature of trailers and that they can misrepresent a film. Yet even bearing this in mind at the time, I couldn’t help but feel that Super 8 seemed like a somewhat self-indulgent homage to Spielberg's earlier work. I subsequently saw the movie at the cinema in August that year and my suspicions were validated. However, over time I have spoken to several friends who are advocates of the movie, so I thought I’d watch it a second time. Sadly, I still find myself unable to label Super 8 as anything else other than adequate. Now I would hasten to add, that I use adequate within the context of both director’s body of work. An adequate film from either Mr Spielberg or Abrams is still superior to many of their competitors. But that's not the point. I simply expected better from such a project.
Having recently sat through Orcs! I decided to take a further chance and watch Orc Wars. It too is a very low budget film, although this time the finances were raised through crowdfunding. Sadly, it is not the fun, tongue in cheek, independent adventure movie the trailer and associated marketing implies. There is very little merit in this production. It's cheap, cheerful and although harmless, it clearly demonstrates that not all fan funded projects are good cinema. Some are just indulgences. The problem is in the title itself, which tries to sell an idea that the movie production is incapable of delivering. Instead of the spectacle of an army of a thousand Orcs pitted against the technological might of the US war machine, we get a few extras in ill-fitting costumes, running skirmishes against no-name actors on quad bikes and a few old Army Surplus vehicles. It's all rather lacklustre and underwhelming.
As a fan of the horror genre I’ve sat through numerous low budget films in my time. This has usually been at festivals or conventions. Sometimes watching something as part of a group, with likeminded individuals, makes a difference. You find yourself groaning in unison and the shared experience helps compensate for potential deficiencies. Watching questionable material in the comfort of your own home, purely on your own can be a lot tougher. However, due to my abiding love of the genre, I am prepared to cut a lot of cheap ass indie flicks considerably more slack than I would others. So, I'll endeavour to review Orcs! with as much impartiality as possible. Oh, and before we start, let us clarify the term Orcs. Although Middle-earth is not referenced in any way, this film is definitely about Tolkien's creations. Or at least their depiction in another well-known series of films.
10 Cloverfield Lane blends several cinematic genres producing an interesting premise. Once it has established its narrative arc, it then dives head long into an exciting and tense one hundred and four minutes. The movie is not a direct sequel to Cloverfield (2008) but does touch upon some of the same themes and ideas. Made on a modest budget of $15 million, the claustrophobic setting of a nuclear bunker accommodates strong performances from the lead actors. It is not until the third act when the story movies back to the outside world, do we see any major visual effects. Overall, this is a very compelling film due to the strong screenplay and well defined central characters.
I did my best to avoid the hype surrounding the initial release of Cloverfield. Such media saturation and public interest can often cloud the issue of whether the actual film is any good. Five years later and having watched the movie twice, once in the theatre and once at home, I am still somewhat conflicted about this movie. The use of hand held video cameras is both a boon and a bane. The constant movement of the image has proven to cause motion sickness for some viewers, although this is not so overwhelming when viewed on a smaller screen at home. Yet the medium of news footage mixed with handheld cameras does create a palpable sense of immediacy. This helps immensely when trying to sell a fantastic concept, such as the one that Cloverfield features.
The enigma of the Xenomorph in the Alien franchise is diminished once you start to rationalise its heritage. Sadly, that’s exactly what Alien: Covenant has chosen to do. It jettisons the mystery of the original 1979 movie and pulls back the curtain, so wisely put in place thirty-eight years ago, to reveal a rather lacklustre explanation to the Xenomorph’s origin. Having spent nearly $100 million and employed a production team of some of the finest talent that money can buy, the resulting movie is not bad per se, just crushingly superfluous. After watching Alien: Covenant this week, my overall reaction can be distilled down to a deep sigh of indifference and a shrug of the shoulders.
I have written many times in recent years about how big titles get announced by the gaming industry, of the ensuing hype up that leads up to launch day and then the subsequent disappointment on purchase. It is a malady that has afflicted the movie industry for decades and has become increasingly more common in the last decade. Hype has a curious link with reputation. There are a handful of directors in contemporary Hollywood who when they add their name to a production, people take notice. Ridley Scott is one of these. His body of work pretty much guarantees he can make whatever he wants, be it a commercial undertaking or a ludicrous vanity project. However, the downside to being a film maker of this stature is that you are not so easily exposed to proper scrutiny by your peers. No one stops you from making a mistake because you are supposed to know what you are doing. They let you do what you want. Which is bad.
Amityville 3-D (1983)
The Amityville Horror (1979) performed extremely well commercially upon release. Hence a prequel, Amityville II: The Possession (1982), was made three years later to capitalise on that box office success. Both films are allegedly based upon real events. The first film depicts the haunting of the Amityville house and the events that befell the Lutz family that moved in. The second explores the original DeFeo murders which took place earlier, although here the family is renamed Montelli. A third film, Amityville 3-D, was released in 1983 and is a curious sequel. Unlike previous instalments, it was an original story and did not attempt to mine the wealth of books associated with the Amityville case. It also jumped on the 3-D revival bandwagon that was popular at the time with such films as Friday 13th Part III and Jaws 3-D. It is a very workmanlike production, directed by Richard Fleischer.
The Amityville Horror (1979) performed extremely well commercially upon release. Hence a prequel, Amityville II: The Possession (1982), was made three years later to capitalise on that box office success. Both films are allegedly based upon real events. The first film depicts the haunting of the Amityville house and the events that befell the Lutz family that moved in. The second explores the original DeFeo murders which took place earlier, although here the family is renamed Montelli. A third film, Amityville 3-D, was released in 1983 and is a curious sequel. Unlike previous instalments, it was an original story and did not attempt to mine the wealth of books associated with the Amityville case. It also jumped on the 3-D revival bandwagon that was popular at the time with such films as Friday 13th Part III and Jaws 3-D. It is a very workmanlike production, directed by Richard Fleischer.
After exposing a pair of mediums who have been using the Amityville house for bogus seances, investigative journalist John Baxter (Tony Roberts), decides to buy the property as he is getting divorced and needs a new home. His photographer friend, Melanie (Candy Clark), takes several pictures of John and real estate broker Clifford Sanders (John Harkins) at the house. Shortly afterwards Sanders dies in the attic under mysterious circumstances. When Melanie develops the photos she finds the images of Sanders are distorted and she takes the film and camera to Dr. Elliot West (Robert Joy), at the Institute for Psychic Research. Susan (Lori Loughlin), John’s daughter, is keen to see the alleged haunted house but her mother, Nancy Baxter (Tess Harper), does not want her to stay there. Paranormal events begin to escalate and it becomes clear that a malevolent force is at work.
Amityville 3-D begins by establishing protagonist John Baxter as a dyed in the wool sceptic, who writes about lurid cases in an equally lurid magazine. Initially after buying the Amityville house, all the subsequent supernatural events happen to others. When Baxter asks why he hasn’t experienced anything, Melanie portentously exclaims “maybe the house has other plans for you”. After a deliberate, slow paced first act, several of the lead characters die and it is clear to Baxter that the house is a malign influence. Eventually Dr. West and his team are called in to investigate the Amityville house and its infamous well. This culminates in a climax filled with 3-D special effects with everything bar the kitchen sink being hurled at the camera (including a stuffed swordfish). The story is neatly concluded with an opening for a sequel, yet nothing is really explained beyond a cursory reference to the house being built on an Native American burial ground.
Amityville 3-D starts as a low key supernatural tale with the emphasis on scares, rather than gore. The first death scene harks back to the swarm of flies that attacked Rod Steiger in the first film. The next few set pieces revolve around gusts of freezing wind, a free falling elevator and a bathroom wall that moves. Then at the start of the third act, it all becomes somewhat grimmer with one cast member burnt to death. The climatic demon is also somewhat left field. It’s all somewhat inconsistent as if the production couldn’t quite decide what to do with its competent cast of character actors. There are cinematic nods along the way to The Omen and Poltergeist. The 3-D cinematography leaves the 2.35:1 image a little blurred at the left and right of the frame. The film plays out against a suitably eerie soundtrack written by British composer Howard Blake of The Snowman fame.
College Professor Peter Proud (Michael Sarrazin) has a recurring dream about a man swimming on a lake late at night. A woman named Marcia (Margot Kidder) paddles a small boat out to meet him. As the man tries to climb aboard, Marcia hits him with an oar and he drowns. Perplexed and disturbed, Peter approaches Doctor Sam Goodman (Paul Hecht) who is conducting research into sleep at the College. He conducts several tests which prove that Peter’s experiences are not registering as dreams. The Doctor suggests that they’re hallucinations but Peter theorises that they may be memories of a past life. A chance viewing of a TV documentary about Massachusetts, triggers further memories, so Peter decides to go an investigate. He subsequently learns that the man in his visions is a former Tennis coach, Jeff Curtis, who died in the late 1940s under mysterious circumstances. Is Peter the reincarnation of this man? If so, didn’t he have a daughter, Ann (Jennifer O’Neil). Furthermore is Marcia, Ann’s mother, still alive?
In the year 1860, Baron Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing) faces execution by guillotine for the murders perpetrated by the creature he created. With the assistance of a hunchback named Karl (Oscar Quitak) he avoids death by beheading the priest who came to give him the last rites. The priest’s body is then mistakenly buried by the authorities. Three years later, Victor, now using the name Doctor Stein, has established himself as a prosperous physician in Karlsbrück, serving both affluent patients and the poor at a paupers’ hospital. Hans Kleve (Francis Matthews), a junior member of the medical council, recognises Victor and being an admirer, seeks to become his apprentice. Victor and Hans then undertake an experiment to transplant Karl’s living brain into a new, more refined body, rather than a grotesque monstrosity the Baron has previously made. Karl is eager to have a new healthy body, especially after encountering Margaret Conrad (Eunice Gayson), the charming new assistant at the hospital.
Exit 8 is a sophisticated and claustrophobic psychological thriller directed by Genki Kawamura, which skilfully transforms a minimalist indie walking-simulator game into a cinematic existential enigma. This overtly metaphorical film renders the repetitive nature and drudgery of modern working life into a physical environment in which the lead character is trapped and must find a way out. A random, brutal maze filled with an atmosphere of indifference to the lab rats that find themselves trapped within. Or is it their personal guilt that has put them there? Genki Kawamura’s psychological mystery draws inspiration from the Japanese video game of the same name, as well as from the cyclical nature of Groundhog Day and endless corridors of the Overlook Hotel in Kubrick’s The Shining. Although there are jump scares and some ghoulish imagery, this is not a horror vehicle. Instead this is a disquieting psychological drama with a strong sense of morality.
In 1968 the dilapidated freighter Corita hastily leaves Freetown to avoid a customs inspection. Captain Lansen (Eric Porter) has a cargo of dangerous explosives which he is smuggling so he can finally retire. His ship’s passengers also have reasons for leaving in a hurry. Dr. Webster (Nigel Stock), together with his daughter Unity (Suzanna leigh), is relocating due to his indiscretions with patients and illegal operations. Alcoholic pianist Harry Tyler (Tony Beckley) is aimlessly drifting from port to port. Eva Peters (Hildegard Knef) is fleeing from her husband with stolen bearer bonds which she intend to use to buy back her son from his evil clutches Caracas. Ricaldi (Ben Carruthers), a questionable lawyer, is pursuing Eva to retrieve the stolen bonds. First officer Hemmings (Neil McCallum) suggests that the ship should return to Freetown after an imminent Hurricane warning. The Captain asks the passengers and they are unanimous that they do not wish to return. However a mutinous crew, the bad weather and the instability of the explosives force everyone to abandon ship. The survivors find themselves adrift in a lifeboat surrounded by a strange carnivorous seaweed.
David Koepp is no stranger to genre cinema, having written the screenplay for such films as Jurassic Park, Spider-man and War of the Worlds. Where these titles are big budget, major studio productions, Cold Storage is a far more modest production with a smaller scope. Adapted from his own novel, the screenplay is by David Koepp and the film is directed by British film-maker Jonny Campbell. At first glance, Cold Storage seems a somewhat derivative science fiction horror film with a relatively modest budget, financed through a convoluted US and French co-production. Lurid green and red colours feature heavily in the marketing artwork and it is easy, after a cursory look, to write the film off as cheap, generic, direct-to-streaming filler. However, Cold Storage is prime example of why you should not judge a book by it’s cover, or in this case, a film by its posters and online advertising. It is in fact an amusing and fun endeavour that can fill an evening.
Despite being considered by many as an original story, The Abominable Snowman (1957) is in fact a remake of a made for television play, The Creature, that was originally broadcast in the UK in 1955. Hammer Films would often purchase the rights of popular TV programs and subsequently re-work them for mainstream, international cinema. Larger production budgets and fewer censorship restrictions allowed them to make their cinematic interpretations more lurid, thus commercially viable. Hence The Quatermass Xperiment, Quatermass II and Quatermass and the Pit were all given a big screen makeover and were commercially successful. The Abominable Snowman was written by acclaimed writer Nigel Kneale, who also wrote the original television drama and the aforementioned Quatermass trilogy. Although ostensibly marketed as a horror film this production is actually an interesting blend of psychological thriller and science fiction.
The Haunted Dolls House is a short film based on a story by M.R. James about a unique antique that is subject to supernatural phenomenon. Adapted by Stephen Gray and David Lilley, this is the third of three short films based upon James’ work that the pair have made. It stars Steven Dolton as Mr. Dillet, a collector of antique dolls houses, who acquires a bargain only to discover that it harbours a ghostly secret. Made on an extremely modest budget over the course of 2012 this clever, innovative and rather sinister adaptation is a fine example of short film creativity. It manages to offer a unique visual depiction of M.R. James’ classic story whilst capturing the unsettling quality of the author’s work. Like so many independently made short films it is clearly a labour of love, made with modest resources. It succinctly captures the spirit of the author’s work and is both innovative and rewarding.
A lot of people may know Luke Evans from the live action version of Beauty and the Beast or Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit trilogy. With his matinee idol good looks, charming Welsh demeanour and his “smoky” tenor singing voice, he projects a sense of old school stardom. Which brings us to No One Lives; a film which is a radical departure from his previous work. His performance is disconcerting to say the least and the film is somewhat unhinged. Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, who made an interesting adaptation of Clive Barker’s The Midnight Meat Train, this cinematic outing is similarly replete with robust shocks and gore. There are some interesting ideas about the nature of violence, Stockholm Syndrome and whether one should deny or embrace one’s nature. However, these are ultimately minor asides. Philosophical musings in between bouts of surprisingly striking unpleasantness.
In the near future, Kepler 822, a research and drilling facility located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, suffers a sudden and catastrophic structural failure. There are only six survivors. Mechanical engineer Norah Price (Kristen Stewart), Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel), biologist Emily Haversham (Jessica Henwick), engineer Liam Smith (John Gallagher Jr.) and crew members Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie) and Paul (T.J. Miller). As all the functional escape pods have been used and they are unable to contact the surface, the Captain suggests using pressurized suits to walk one mile across the ocean floor to the Roebuck 641 drill installation. There they will find more escape pods. However, it soon becomes apparent that the disaster was not caused by an undersea earthquake and that they are not alone as they make their journey.
In Buenos Aires, Clara (Natalia Señorales) hears voices emanating from the plughole in her kitchen sink. The voices seem to be plotting against her. Her husband Juan (Agustín Rittano) says the sounds are coming from next door. That night, Juan finds Clara’s dead body levitating in their bathroom, slamming against the wall by an invisible force. Meanwhile their neighbour, Walter (Demián Salomón), is experiencing supernatural occurrences while he tries to sleep. An invisible force repeatedly shakes his bed. After using a video camera to film these events, he sees a tall, cadaverous figure emerging from under the bed, standing over him as he sleeps. Across the road, Alicia (Julieta Vallina) is grieving for her recently deceased son, who was run over outside Walter’s house. Alicia's ex-boyfriend, police commissioner Funes (Maximiliano Ghione) calls Jano (Norberto Gonzalo), a paranormal investigator and the pair soon discover more supernatural occurrences in the area.
Black Sabbath (AKA I tre volti della paura) is a 1963 horror anthology film directed by Mario Bava. Although an Italian production, the film was co-financed by American International Pictures and as such was conceived to appeal to US audiences. Hence, the English dialogue edit of the film which was released in America differs significantly to the original Italian version. Despite the presence of the legendary Boris Karloff and the popularity of both anthology and gothic horror at the time,the film was only a modest success at the US box office and did not do well in Italy. However, in more recent years there has been a critical reappraisal of Black Sabbath, especially the Italian dialogue version. Many aspects of the film which are standard genre tropes today, were in fact novel at the time. Also despite the production mainly being studio bound, the film oozes style and has a striking visual aesthetic.
During 1836, in the town of Darkness Falls, Maine, an elderly widow Matilda Dixon is adored by the town’s children as she gives them a gold coin whenever they lose a tooth. One day, after a house fire, Matilda is left burned and sensitive to sunlight, so she starts wearing a china mask. When two children are reported missing, Matilda is blamed by some locals, dragged from her home and hung. She curses the town, stating that whenever a child loses their last tooth, she would come for it. If the child looks at her, she will kill them. The missing children are subsequently found, so the citizens cover up their unjust lynching. In 1990, young Kyle Walsh awakes one night to find Matilda Walsh standing over him. Kyle’s mother is killed and he is blamed for her death and institutionalised. 12 years later, Kyle (Channey Kley) is released and tries to warn the town of the imminent danger when lightning disables the power supply. He is ignored by all until the deaths begin.
Osgood Perkins has a distinct visual style and tone to his films. It is why his previous film, Longlegs, was such a welcome change from standard genre outings. It was atmospheric both visually and tonally, demonstrating a keen understanding of horror cinema. Hence he is the perfect director to helm this adaptation of a Stephen King short story. The plot is greatly expanded and the screenplay takes a lot of liberties with the source material but the main themes of your past being inescapable and the power of guilt remain front and centre. Due to the extreme and bizarre nature of much of the onscreen deaths, the film wisely has a strong streak of gallows humour running through it which is extremely well handled. Comedy can often be used to defuse or mitigate violence which can be narratively dishonest (think Fred Krueger). Here it adds to the cruel and capricious nature of the random deaths.
When reviewing Sting, one critic stated that the small scale setting and thus, low stakes (IE only a few peoples lives are at risk), made the film not especially memorable. I consider this to be a somewhat spurious criticism. It is the very fact that Sting takes place in such a commonplace environment, with the main characters being everyday people that makes it different. There is a clear focus on well defined characters and their backstory. Unlike so many contemporary films, I actually gave a damn about the protagonists in Sting. An integral aspect of the horror genre is the ability to take a well known and familiar trope and provide a different and absorbing spin on it .It would appear that some audiences have been belaboured over the head by so many overblown and bombastic blockbusters, that the very notion of depicting small, localised and intimate events in a film, seems to bamboozle them.
Some films are made with the intention of starting a franchise, others evolve into one after a surprise box office success and lucrative sequels. Alien (1979) falls into the latter category. A mid-budget science fiction horror film that was well crafted and then benefited immensely by being released at just the right time. Sadly, many franchises become derailed and enter into a death spiral due to competing artistic visions, cynical studio politics and cinematic ignorance. This has certainly afflicted all subsequent Alien films after James Cameron’s magnificent Aliens (1986). Sometimes, a franchise can correct its course and do something fresh with the source material. Prey (2022) is a fine example of this with director Dan Trachtenberg bringing fresh vigour and intelligence back to the Predator movies. I believe that was the intention with Alien Romulus (2024). Sadly, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is a popular entry among fans of the franchise. This is mainly due to the return of makeup artist, Tom Savini, who creates several notable death scenes and a bravura ending for Jason Voorhees. There is also an attempt by writer Barney Cohen to have a more involving story compared to previous entries in the series. Director Joseph Zito, who previously directed the above average slasher movie The Prowler AKA Rosemary’s Killer (1981), brings a harder edge to the proceedings, making Jason more menacing than in the previous instalment. As ever, the film was dismissed by the critics but performed well at the box office. Producer Frank Mancuso Jr fully intended for this film to be a definitive end to the series, as he was becoming increasingly concerned that his association with the franchise was having a negative impact upon his career.
Set directly after the events of the previous film, Friday the 13th Part III is again about a group of friends staying near Crystal Lake who encounter Jason Voorhees as he embarks upon another killing spree. Shot in 3D the film has a less sleazy tone than its predecessors although the formula remains the same. The set pieces and death scenes are more elaborate and less clinical, taking advantage of the 3D picture format. The film marks the first appearance of Jason's signature hockey mask, which subsequently became a trademark of both the character and the franchise. Originally conceived to be an end to the series of films, Friday the 13th Part III performed extremely well at the box office, earning $36.7 million on a budget of $2.2 million. As a result, the franchise was given a stay of execution and a further sequel was commissioned.
Originally, Friday the 13th Part 2 was intended to be an anthology film based on the superstition associated with the date. However, after the popularity of the original film's surprise ending, the producers opted to continue the story and mythology surrounding Camp Crystal Lake. This eventually became the parameters which all future films would broadly work within. Friday the 13th Part 2 is a more polished production than the first movie, benefitting from twice the budget of the original. The quick turnaround meant that Paramount Pictures could continue to capitalise on the popularity of the slasher genre. However, there was growing social pushback against these types of films, from Christian lobby groups and other “concerned parties”. Hence, Friday the 13th Part 2 ran into problems with the MPAA ratings board and cuts were imposed. Something that would continuously plague the franchise over the years.
Writing any kind of review for the original Friday the 13th movie seems somewhat redundant, as it has been analysed and written about numerous times before. If you’re interested in the film’s production as well as its subsequent impact on US cinema at the time, then there is an excellent summary on Wikipedia. Having recently rewatched the entire franchise, courtesy of the Shout Factory’s Friday the 13th Collection Deluxe Edition, I have a few thoughts I’d like to share. The picture quality of all the films is very good, offering a lot more visual information compared to previous releases. The amount of “extras” included in the box set is prodigious. I suspect that these are the best versions that we’re ever likely to see. Fans hoping that one day all the cut footage will be found and re-integrated into each film are likely to remain disappointed. Some material has surfaced but sadly a lot of deleted and extended scenes have been destroyed.
George A. Romero's Day Of The Dead (1985) is a bleak and remorseless masterpiece. The final entry in his “Dead Trilogy”, its central theme is that in a world on the brink of destruction, man is still the biggest threat to his own existence. It is well scripted, clinically accurate in its observations on human nature and thought provoking, despite having its budget cut just weeks before production commenced. 40 years later it is revered as a genre milestone and is considered one of Romero’s finest works. Sadly, the 2008 “remake” directed by Steve Miner, who has a background in slasher and exploitation movies, takes a contrasting approach, to say the least. It certainly has very little to do with Romero’s film and one can’t help but assume that it is nothing more than a cynical cash in. Setting aside comparisons with the original, this is not in any way a standout zombie film in its own right.
Although I was unaware of it, there was a guerrilla marketing campaign for Longlegs which was focused on the internet rather than traditional television adverts. Hence the film gained a lot of interest prior to its release and as well as some some disproportionate expectations. Then immediately after its theatrical debut, the matter was further compounded by a possible excess of gushing praise as the film was “over reviewed”. Therefore I maintained a degree of scepticism about Longlegs and tempered my expectations prior to watching it. Any film that is hailed as the next Silence of the Lambs, featuring a “traumatising” performance by Nicholas Cage needs to be keenly scrutinised so that its cinematic merits can be carefully separated from the surrounding hyperbole. After viewing I found Longlegs to be a finely honed, atmospheric and precisely targeted horror thriller but not the genre milestone that some would claim.
As a rule, it is always a challenge to end a trilogy of films successfully. Writing a satisfying denouement to a standalone movie is hard enough. To be able to conclude all pertinent story arcs and themes that have been sustained over three feature films, to everyone’s liking is far harder to achieve. In the case of The Final Conflict (1981), the last instalment of The Omen trilogy, writer Andrew Birkin does manage to resolve all of the external, internal and philosophical stakes, which are the fundamental components of a cinematic screenplay. Unfortunately, it is done in an incredibly underwhelming manner, which left audiences feeling cheated. The last time good defeated evil evil in such an unspectacular fashion was in Hammer’s To the Devil a Daughter (1976). This is why, in spite of solid production values, The Final Conflict is the least popular of the films about the Antichrist, Damien Thorn.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a film that often provokes a strong reaction from genre fans. This is mainly due to it not having any direct connection to the previous two films. The absence of Michael Myers in such a franchise was a serious mistake and the subsequent poor box office returns endorsed this. Yet if this film had been released as a separate product it may not have performed so poorly. After re-examining Halloween III: Season of the Witch there are many aspects of interest. Despite a troubled production, the film is an intriguing anomaly that tried to be different during a decade where the established horror formula was “stalk n' slash”. It does have a very bleak tone and some consider it to be mean spirited as the cast are killed off one by one. Perhaps theme of child sacrifice caused audiences to balk?
Ghostwatch is a controversial British horror “mockumentary” produced by the BBC that was first broadcast on October 31st 1992. Written by Stephen Volk and produced by Ruth Baumgarten it is now considered a milestone in UK broadcasting. This was mainly due to the strong reaction it provoked from the public, many of whom failed to grasp that it was a drama. At the time it raised serious questions about responsible programming and caused a furore in the British press. It has curiously never been shown since by the BBC. Ghostwatch remains a talking point to this day and is a text book example of the power of television as well as the publics enduring belief in the supernatural.
Event Horizon is a curious movie hybrid, mixing plot elements from classic sci-fi and horror genres. It has been labelled “Hellraiser in Space” by some lazy critics, although I think there's far more to it than that. Perhaps a more apt description would be a Gothic horror story set in space. The movie has garnered a cult reputation since its release in 1997, mainly due to its graphic imagery and troubled production history. It does indeed have some quite shocking sequences but the lightning editing does not show as much as some would think. Paramount forced director Paul W S Anderson to reduce the original one hundred and thirty minute running time down to a more manageable ninety, after unfavourable test screenings. Much of the violence was allegedly removed as a result of that process. Sadly nothing survives of the removed material other than a VHS workprint. Hence a restored director’s cut is therefore unlikely.
The peace of tranquillity of Santa Ynes, Utah, is shattered when the town becomes the focus of several hit and run deaths, by a mysterious and apparently driverless, black car. After the Sheriff (John Marley) is run down, it is down to Captain Wade Parent (James Brolin) and his deputies to protect the town from this sinister threat. Is the car simply a driven by a mad man or is there a more supernatural explanation? When the car menaces a local school marching band, the teachers and students take refuge in the nearby cemetery. Does the cars inability to enter consecrated ground provide a clue to its otherworldly origins and offer a potential solution? As the death count increases and the population becomes more fearful, the Captain and his team of deputies form a desperate plan to see if they can lure the car into a trap.
The key to success in the horror genre is to try and find an innovative new angle on tried and tested themes and tropes. The Night Flier is an often-overlooked gem, that takes a unique perspective on vampirism and features strong performances as well as an intelligent and thoughtful screenplay. It builds a sense of foreboding during it’s first two acts and teases audiences with some unpleasant prosthetic effects, courtesy of KNB EFX Group. The climax of the movie is both thought provoking and suitably unpleasant. Furthermore, The Night Flier even manages to make a coherent criticism of tabloid culture and morals of those journalists working in the industry. It’s a damn shame that this modest but well-crafted genre movie didn’t get the attention it deserved when it was initially released in 1997.
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors was the first portmanteau horror movie by Amicus Productions. The small British studio was founded by producers and screenwriters Milton Subotsky and Max Rosenberg. As the horror genre grew in popularity due to the success of Hammer films, Amicus saw the potential in the portmanteau format. Subotsky in particular held Ealing Studios 1945 classic Dead of Night in very high regard. Although only a modest budget movie, Dr. Terror's House of Horrors proved to be financially successful and led to a series of similarly structured films over the next decade. These included Torture Garden (1967), The House That Dripped Blood (1970), Asylum (1972), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), From Beyond the Grave (1974),
Linus Tech Tips: What Did You Expect?
Another week, another internet “drama”. I don’t actively seek this shit out. It just bleeds through into my social media timeline with tedious regularity. This latest debacle is regarding the popular (by which I mean over 15 million subscribers) technology product review YouTube channel, Linus Tech Tips. There have been claims of factual inaccuracies in recent reviews and a focus in getting content produced quickly at the expense of quality. Then a former employee made allegations of a toxic work environment and sexual harassment. As a result there has been a great deal of “online outrage” from those who assumed up until now that Linus Tech Tips was a bastion of integrity. Then there was the formal reply video from Linus Tech Tips about the allegations, which made matters worse by joking about the situation and running ads. As a result the YouTube channel has suspended video production for a week. You can read more details on this situation on the Forbes website.
Another week, another internet “drama”. I don’t actively seek this shit out. It just bleeds through into my social media timeline with tedious regularity. This latest debacle is regarding the popular (by which I mean over 15 million subscribers) technology product review YouTube channel, Linus Tech Tips. There have been claims of factual inaccuracies in recent reviews and a focus in getting content produced quickly at the expense of quality. Then a former employee made allegations of a toxic work environment and sexual harassment. As a result there has been a great deal of “online outrage” from those who assumed up until now that Linus Tech Tips was a bastion of integrity. Then there was the formal reply video from Linus Tech Tips about the allegations, which made matters worse by joking about the situation and running ads. As a result the YouTube channel has suspended video production for a week. You can read more details on this situation on the Forbes website.
The allegations made against Linus Tech Tips are serious. I therefore hope that due process is followed and if the claims are substantiated, then appropriate action is taken. Setting these specific matters aside, I would like to discuss the wider and more commonplace phenomenon of businesses (especially those in traditional and new media industries) going rogue. If you are in anyway shocked by the revelations about Linus Tech Tips my question to you is “what the fuck did you expect”? And if your reply is “honesty, integrity and professionalism” then please excuse the howls of derision from the galleries. YouTube is a commercial enterprise that is “self regulating”. It has precious few external checks and balances brought to bear against it, compared to mainstream media. Why do so many people still equate the immediate and informal nature of YouTube with somehow being a sign of trust and even friendship?
Once again we find ourselves at the “something, something, capitalism bad” part of the post. You may well roll your eyes at this old cliche but when will people fucking learn? The internet is no longer the utopian frontier, free from the grasp of corporate interests that it aspired to be decades ago. Just like the real world, small businesses have been squeezed out and monopolies have been established. Any successful YouTube channel that is dependent upon ad revenue to survive has a clear hierarchy of needs. One where the viewer is not necessarily the priority and ethics are an obstacle. Capitalism has been around long enough that it has been established that if you expect big business to do the right thing, it won’t. Business doesn’t like rules or being told “no”. Which is why we have regulations in most industries. The internet seems to have escaped these for the present.
When you have an environment where there is no fear of sanction, you’ll continuously get debacles like the one facing Linus Tech Tips. So instead of naively throwing up your hands in horror when such stories break, why not lobby for change instead? Because change is needed. As a society we’re becoming too dependent on information, tools and resources that are controlled by corporate entities that are broadly outside the sphere of governmental control and regulation. Look at how Twitter/X has changed for the worse in the last twelve months. So once again I reiterate, YouTube is not your friend. Neither are the big players who have successful channels. Game developers and publishers aren’t in their line of work for the betterment of humanity and your wellbeing. We really need to stop seeing the internet as something different from other industries and being surprised when the metaphorical bear defecates in its own habitat.
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
Taxis and Minicabs
In case you don’t know already, I don’t drive. Haven’t got a licence or taken a test. Never have and never will. The post I’ve linked to explains why, so we won’t be discussing that any further here. Mrs P is our household’s designated driver. Not that she minds as she has always enjoyed driving. However, she is currently immobile due to a fracture in her right leg. Hence we aren’t using the car at present which causes a few problems. Firstly, as Mrs P’s leg injury is still being treated, there is the travel to the various outpatients clinics at the hospital. Then there are our grocery shopping requirements. The latter is easily addressed by home deliveries. The former is more of a problem. Although London has good public transport, travelling while in a wheelchair is far from ideal. Hence we won’t use buses to get to hospital. Which means using taxis or minicabs, which presents its own unique challenges.
In case you don’t know already, I don’t drive. Haven’t got a licence or taken a test. Never have and never will. The post I’ve linked to explains why, so we won’t be discussing that any further here. Mrs P is our household’s designated driver. Not that she minds as she has always enjoyed driving. However, she is currently immobile due to a fracture in her right leg. Hence we aren’t using the car at present which causes a few problems. Firstly, as Mrs P’s leg injury is still being treated, there is the travel to the various outpatients clinics at the hospital. Then there are our grocery shopping requirements. The latter is easily addressed by home deliveries. The former is more of a problem. Although London has good public transport, travelling while in a wheelchair is far from ideal. Hence we won’t use buses to get to hospital. Which means using taxis or minicabs, which presents its own unique challenges.
To begin with, let me clarify the terms being used, as I shall be referring to the UK definitions. By taxis, I mean the iconic black cabs or hackney carriage. In Greater London, these vehicles are licensed by The Taxi and Private Hire office under the auspices of TFL (Transport for London). Taxi drivers have to pass “The Knowledge”, an “in-depth study of a number of pre-set London street routes and all places of interest in the capital”. Taxi drivers do not rely upon satnav. There are also various security checks required before a licence is issued. Taxis can be hailed in the street or booked online, via apps. Minicabs is the term used to cover any other form of private vehicle hire. From big companies such as Addison Lee, local firms and of course Uber. These vary greatly in quality.
I won’t use Uber because on several occasions the driver has simply abandoned the job and failed to turn up, which is singularly inconvenient to put it mildly. Similarly, local minicabs are equally unreliable, often taking the booking but failing to arrive in time. Also most vehicles are not wheelchair friendly and the drivers will do little or nothing to assist the passenger(s). Hence, if I have to use a minicab, I use Addison Lee which has higher standards for their drivers and a good online booking and tracking system. However, by choice I will always use a taxi as the vehicles are by design wheelchair friendly, with a ramp allowing easy access. The drivers are always helpful and considerate taking routes with the minimal amount of “traffic calming measures” AKA speed bumps. The booking apps such as Gett are efficient and reliable.
What has become apparent over the last two and half weeks since Mrs P had her accident and we’ve had to rely on taxis and minicabs, is how the cost of travelling by such means has increased. This is due to the cost of living crisis as well as several other factors. It takes 20 minutes to drive to the hospital at Woolwich and that journey cost £30 including tip. Hence a cost of £60 per round visit. However, there are two other factors that complicate the situation. Since the pandemic, approximately 5,000 London based taxi drivers are no longer active. This shortfall means that booking on the fly is a lot harder. Conversely, some apps will only allow booking one hour in advance. Also, a lot of taxis are reluctant to take shorter journeys, instead favouring longer trips that pay more. It’s a classic consequence of the free market. Like many situations in life, you only become familiar with them when there is a need to. Until recently, taxis and minicabs have been an occasional requirement. However, I count us fortunate that we are in a position to use such services, rather than the alternative.
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
16 Years of Blogging
Today is my blogging anniversary. I have been inflicting my thoughts upon the world for 16 years. I started writing online regularly in March 2007, although my early blogging projects were somewhat scattershot as I struggled to find an appropriate niche. August 16th standouts because it was the date I registered my first domain name, in a fit of enthusiasm. In the previous seven months, I created and abandoned three sites before I finally found a subject that I could focus upon and that would sustain my writing. Hence for practical reasons I consider August 16th my starting date as I spent money on my hobby, which I believe shows some kind of commitment. I won’t bore readers yet again with my origin story as I’ve covered that before. To keep things short and sweet, I’ve kept writing this long because I enjoy it. Maybe in a different life, I would have liked to have made it my career.
Today is my blogging anniversary. I have been inflicting my thoughts upon the world for 16 years. I started writing online regularly in March 2007, although my early blogging projects were somewhat scattershot as I struggled to find an appropriate niche. August 16th standouts because it was the date I registered my first domain name, in a fit of enthusiasm. In the previous seven months, I created and abandoned three sites before I finally found a subject that I could focus upon and that would sustain my writing. Hence for practical reasons I consider August 16th my starting date as I spent money on my hobby, which I believe shows some kind of commitment. I won’t bore readers yet again with my origin story as I’ve covered that before. To keep things short and sweet, I’ve kept writing this long because I enjoy it. Maybe in a different life, I would have liked to have made it my career.
I like long-form writing that utilises the English language well. It can be informative, galvanising and even revolutionary. Well chosen words give weight to ideas and concepts. They can inspire and call people to action. They can also empathise, amuse and educate. The right words can echo through time or make you spit out your coffee. Hence I like the acerbic wit of Charlie Brooker and the emotional depth of Al McIntosh. Then there is the wisdom and reverence of Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan. I also enjoy Agatha Christie, Jacob Bronowski, M.R. James and Roger Hargreaves. All great writers in their respective fields. I could list names indefinitely. My point is that when you encounter good writing, it doesn’t just make its point. It elicits an emotional response and resonates with you in a meaningful way. It can be four panels of Calvin and Hobbes, Shakespeare’s St. Crispin's Day speech from Henry V, or Martin Luther King’s I Have a Dream.
As a blogger, although I cannot reach the standards of the writings I have referenced, I believe I can learn and improve overtime. It doesn’t matter what you’re writing about or what your style is. If you keep writing, thinking and trying to hone your skills, you will. Hopefully your blogging journey will be enjoyable, rewarding and even therapeutic. I know mine has over the years. I’ve met (online) many talented, interesting people and learned a lot simply by reading other people’s experience of daily life. It becomes apparent very quickly that we have more in common, than we do differences. I also believe that we are actively encouraged to be docile and to lose ourselves in memes and ephemeral online content. We willingly embrace an infantilised and lazy use of language. In doing so we restrict our own freedom of expression. Blogging flies in the face of this. It is about exercising your right to free speech, free thought and rejecting the status quo.
I hope that I’m still writing in another 16 years time, as it is such an integral part of my daily life. However, I suspect my liver and arteries have other plans. Plus the growing corporate stranglehold over the internet may well mean that blogging becomes more and more like pissing in the wind. I don’t think that any company would be crass enough to block content directly that isn’t under their auspices, but it isn’t too far fetched to envisage an algorithm that bypasses anything that isn’t “affiliated”. But enough of this existential navel gazing. We haven’t quite reached an Orwellian dystopia yet. Therefore, in the meantime remember that words are good. They are your friend and ally. They will serve you well if you approach them with an open mind. Don’t forget the old maxim, you must say what you mean, if you wish to mean what you say. Keep writing.
I felt that this years Blaugust: Festival of Blogging was a success and I personally enjoyed it a great deal. However, I also thought it prudent to seek the opinion of others who took part in the event, as ultimately that is what it’s all about. Hence I posted the Blaugust 2026 Participant Survey at the beginning of September and left it online for 3 weeks. The questions were straightforward and unambiguous. Did you enjoy the festival. Did you participate in the group writing prompts. Did you achieve your writing goals. Then there where questions about what additions, if any, you’d like to see added to Blaugust in the future. All pretty standard stuff for a post event questionnaire. Well the results have been analysed and here is a summary of the results. The intention is to see if there are any specific trends revealed in the feedback and to then discuss any potential course of action as a result. As ever feel free to leave comments below.
It is obligatory to start these sorts of posts by reiterating the standard mantra that you should not be driven by your websites stats and that the data they contain can be unreliable. Although a sound philosophy in principle, it is actually more nuanced than that. Such data can be useful for growth if used wisely. I have never been coy about trying to increase my readership. For me it seems an integral aspect of blogging. Over the course of 2026, the traffic to Contains Moderate Peril has doubled. A lot of that is down to curious spikes in visits which seems to be AI scraping the entire site. Setting aside these anomalies, more people are reading posts and a lot are doing so via the site’s RSS feed. All of which is fine by me as growing the audience for this blog was a goal for this year, I am quite pleased by this development and the ongoing progress. I hope it continues.
There is a subtle difference between being rash and being proactive. Being rash means acting too fast without thinking about the results, while being proactive is a question of acting early with careful planning. Why have I mentioned this? Well prima facie information indicates that recent Blaugust participants are interested in an “official” online presence for the annual festival of blogging, other than that existing Discord server. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Not everyone likes using Discord and I do worry that they may reduce its free functionality at some point in the future. With regard to there being a Blaugust platform of some kind, there is a consensus that it doesn’t need to be some sort of sprawling commercially hosted website running on Wix or such like. Those sorts of site require funding, a degree of admin and possibly private data management. It also a bit too “corporate” if you like. Hence the logical compromise is to have a static site. Let it suffice to say, that has been done.
Judging by the posts I’ve read, it would appear that Blaugust 2026: Festival of Blogging has been well received by those who participated in it. That is most satisfying to know, especially in light of the fact that this is the first year the event has been run without our founder who sadly past away in July. It has also become clear that Blaugust is reaching a far wider and diverse audience and most definitely is no longer the exclusive province of bloggers from one particular community. There has been healthy discussions on our Discord server about whether this year event needs to adapt to accommodate the modern blogosphere. Questions such as whether or not there needs to be a dedicated Blaugust website have been raised and explored. Should every site participating have an RSS feed? How, if required, should comments be handled. Inevitably, the subject of the use of AI in blogging still remains a controversial issue.
After a very productive month of writing, we come to the final Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt. It is titled lessons learned and is usually a chance to reflect on the festival and whether or not it has been to one’s satisfaction. Have you achieved your goals? What have you gained from the experience? Those sorts of things. It also poses two further questions; “What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?” and “what’s the best advice you’ve ever given to someone else?” for your consideration. I’ll address the questions shortly. Firstly let’s mull over this years event and assess how it’s gone.
It was my blogging anniversary on the 16th August. I’ve been writing and sharing my post online for 19 years, via various different websites and blogs. This current iteration of Contains Moderate Peril has been around since August 2015. To date it has 2,171 posts including this one. Quantity does not necessarily equate to quality but there are some articles I am proud of and feel that they make their point effectively.
This week’s Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt is an important topic. Namely, staying motivated. I prepared a fairly lengthy post with some advice and ideas to keep people focused and writing. Then I checked it against the post I wrote last year and the year before that, going back to blogging events from 2012. All of these posts broadly said the same thing, so I decided to scrap what I had composed for today and to go with a simpler approach. I shall answer the questions Krikket posed for this writing prompt. Fellow blogger Bhagpuss has also done so and as ever, his thoughts are interesting and well expressed. Here are my answers.
Once again, I have stumbled across an interesting debate that has provided me with an opportunity to write a blog post. Over on the Blaugust Discord Server, I read a comment from AgingGamer regarding RSS feeds and their significance with regard to blogging. This in turn referred me to a post by fyr (don’t you love all these nom de plumes) who wrote at depth about the ongoing community debate about the use of RSS/Atom feeds. The article explored the importance of such feeds with regard to reaching readers and providing accessibility to the disabled. All of which provided me with a great deal of food for thought. Mainly because I use a mainstream website service provider for my online endeavours, so RSS is by default built. I’ve never really considered not having such a facility at my disposal. But the rise in the IndieWeb scene challenges this assumption.
I have written two blog posts today that I have subsequently abandoned. The first was gaming related but when I was about halfway through writing it, I felt like I was covering old ground and just repeating myself. It was also regarding an issue that can’t really be fixed. Namely, how do you ensure that matchmaking in PVP games is done equitably. As there is no solution to this issue at present, or at least not one that all parties can agree on, I decided to ditch it. Similarly a post I was working on about what becomes of my blog if anything happens to me was curtailed. In light of recent events in our community it seemed inappropriate. However, as a result of binning two blog posts, I new idea occurred to me. Do my fellow bloggers self-edit and curtail what they write about? Is your blog totally unfiltered or do you apply a set of rules that determine what content is deemed acceptable?
It is time for the next Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt. This one comes with two lines of enquiry. The first is an opportunity to “introduce yourself”. Over the years, I have written several introductory posts for previous Blaugust events. Rather than repeat myself I’ll just link to the last one, which was posted in August 2023. I haven’t radically charged since then apart from my hair going whiter. The next part of the prompt poses a far more intriguing question. “If you could have one magical power or super power, what would you choose and what would you use it for?”, which offers much for consideration. Having given this proposition much thought here is my response.
A decade ago I wrote a post about blogrolls and the practical and social issues surrounding them. At the time, the version of Squarespace I was using didn’t easily support such things or at least wasn’t able to do so in a manner I liked, so I didn’t have one. Ten years later Squarespace as a hosting platform has far greater functionality, hence I recently decided to add a blogroll. That was in March this year. However it just wasn’t really fit for purpose. So I decided to revise it a few days ago and rather than just have a traditional list of blogs in a side column, I ended up producing a more comprehensive blog directory, which list two hundred plus sites alpha-numerically. I’ve been tinkering with it on and off and I am now finally happy with it. The latest update reflects the international nature of the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging and the fact that we have many blogs written in their native language. Translating text is now an integral function of web browsers, so I see no reason why these blogs should be excluded.
Today’s post is part of the Blaugust 2026 Group project, which features a series of writing prompts set for specific dates throughout the month. The idea being that everyone who wishes to participate can write about the same subject, riff off each other’s posts and enjoy a shared experience. In many respect having a common writing prompt levels the playing field and provides a sense of common purpose among those who take part. Today’s group project prompt asks the question “tell us all about your very first blog”. An unambiguous and interesting question that will hopefully prove enjoyable to write about and informative to others.
I have been writing online for nearly two decades. I don’t claim to be good or accomplished but what I can say with certainty is that the more often you write, the easier it becomes. For those who are new to writing a blog and the Blaugust Festival of Blogging, possibly the biggest hurdle that you now have to get over, is writing your first post of the month. You spent the lead up to this event sorting out your blog templates, fine tuning the backend and possibly banking some ideas. Or you may have decided to just wing it and make it all up as you go along. Both are perfectly valid approaches. However, there is one thing left to do that cannot be put off, avoided or danced around. Writing. At some point you’ve got to do it. Or bail on the event. The proverbial “shit or get off the pot”.
If you take a cursory look at a calendar you will see that the month of July is fast coming to an end. That means that Blaugust 2026 Festival of Blogging starts in a few days time! If you’re participating, or thinking of doing so, the next few days present a golden opportunity to do some practical organising and basic preparation. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Feel free to just do things as they come, so to speak, if that’s your approach. However, for most of us, it helps if we have some kind of plan in place and make some arrangements in advance. I personally prefer this approach and like to have some ideas for blog posts in the bank. It is also useful to have “options” if something doesn’t go to plan. For those who are new to Blaugust, here are a few ideas regarding preparation that may be of use to you. As ever, your personal mileage may vary and ultimately you are best off adopting a strategy that suits your writing style and personal schedule.
Prior to last year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging, I upgraded Contains Moderate Peril to the latest version of Squarespace. There are still some aspects of the site that need fine tuning but overall, I am happy with the appearance of my blog and its respective functionality. With this year’s writing event fast approach, I decided to tackle over the last few days, some of those finer points that need tweaking. I have wanted a post counter on the site for a long time but unfortunately there is no native Squarespace widget for this basic function. I also felt the need to upgrade the blogroll, as the current one didn’t support RSS feeds from certain sites (e.g. Google Blogger) and was dependent upon a third party service, Elfsight, which wasn’t ideal. Both of these issues have now been addressed and I am pleased with the results. There is now a post counter on the Blog Archive page, which seems a logical place to have it and the Blogroll is now far more comprehensive.
Next month the annual Blaugust: Festival of Blogging begins. Roundabout this time each year, I try to write a promotional post to raise awareness of the event and encourage potential participants. However, as I’ve done this quite a few times before, each year it is becomes increasingly difficult to present the essential facts about Blaugust: Festival of Blogging in an interesting fashion. There’s nothing worse than writing a post and feeling that you’re just covering old ground. So, this year, I thought I’d try something different and present the most important information about this annual event, as if it were a conversation between myself and an interested passer by. Feel free to attribute novelty voices for each party in your own head, while you read this. If it helps, try imagining that this discussion is happening between two celebrities or such like. Both may be wearing exotic hats but I digress. On with the scenario.
I read a blog post by Void recently, about finding a new internet home. He wrote about how he and many others have had to pick up their “digital roots” and migrate multiple times over the years, from one platform to another. It is a position I can sympathise with as I have done likewise. Hence I like the idea of having a place online where I hangout by default. My own blog is an anchor for me but it is not quite the same thing as a platform or online portal where I can find all my friends and colleagues, share content and shoot the breeze. It’s a curious thing, because as I typed that last sentence it struck how such a sentiment may seem alien to others. There may well be people who like to have a finger in multiple pies and who are happy to frequent and flit between various social media apps, Discord servers and subreddits. I prefer to focus my efforts on a single instance. A place that suits my requirements, allows me to put down roots and become part of the furniture. Like a virtual Diogenes Club.
Everyday, once I’m up, I sit at my desk in my office, fire up my PC and log into Feedly. I have various RSS feeds grouped by category, which I slowly trawl through and read anything that catches my eye. I have one curated feed named “Blaugust” named after the yearly festival of blogging event. It has over 250 blogs listed, many of which are former participants. Most of these regularly post. Hence there’s a lot to get through and so I don’t read all of them. However there are a few that I always checkout. Mainly because they’re the personal musings of some of our writing community’s oldest and most prodigious members. The sorts of guys and gals who are part of the furniture. They’ve always been there and it feels like they always will. Posting their thoughts, sharing their enthusiasm and spreading the love, so to speak. One of these blogs, is Tales of the Aggronaut. written by Belghast.
On Friday 26th June, I had another random spike in internet traffic to Contains Moderate Peril. The statistical package that comes with my Squarespace account recorded over 13k visits in less than 24 hours, which is not typical (although I wish it was). However, all of these visits to my blog arrived via the default homepage and spent between 1 and 2 minutes there. Hence, it was obvious that this was not human traffic, as there was no evidence of any searches being made of content that is available on my site, nor of the “visitors” clicking on any of the links on the top menu and viewing other posts. This was undoubtedly AI traffic arriving at the designated homepage and simply parsing the site. I had a similar spate of this sort of web traffic last November. The only difference on that occasion is that the traffic all came from China. This time round it hailed from the US. I suspect that this is something that will happen more often as companies set their AI loose on the net for what is effectively training.
I recently watched a video on Patreon by someone who I actively support as a “content creator” and whose work I enjoy. I shall provide no more detail regarding their identity because they may not want their work referenced with regard to what I am going to say. During the course of their video they briefly referenced the work put into promoting a podcast they are currently producing and the relatively low audience that it has garnered so far. The comments were an aside and most certainly not said with any sense of self-pity. They were simply a statement of fact. Furthermore, I suspect they are far from unique and similar sentiments have been expressed in one way or another by anyone who has created something the published it online, only for it to be lost among the greater white noise” of the wider internet.
When I first started blogging way back in 2007, I maintained a blogroll of all my colleagues and peers’ websites. At the time this was a common practice and a way to support an expanding community. I considered this such an important aspect of the blogging scene at the time, I created a website to aggregate posts from video game blogs, called The Gaming Blog Nexus. It ran for two years and proved quite useful. However, it was tricky to administer and would frequently break as a lot of the back end widgets and plugins were created and maintained by “gifted amateurs”. I eventually shut it down due to the operating costs. When I moved my own website, Contains Moderate Peril, to Squarespace in 2015 I intended to start maintaining a blogroll once again. However, at that time there was no native support for such a thing on the platform. Hence for the last ten years, I have not had a blogroll on my website, which hasn’t sat well with me.
I was speaking to someone recently about hobbies (fortunately it wasn’t Simon Quinlank) and I mentioned that I have maintained a blog for over a 19 years. When I talked about the ongoing cost they were most surprised, as they had assumed that blogging was something that could be done for free. I guess we’ve become so accustomed to the provision of free online services such as email, that this a reasonable assumption. I pointed out that although it is indeed possible to blog for free using Blogger, it was not the optimal approach, especially if you want to maintain some degree of control over your writing. Naturally, the next question they asked was how much do I spend and I gave them a ballpark figure. All of which reminded me that I wrote a post on this very subject a few years ago. So I’ve decided to revisit the subject and see how much it currently costs to maintain Contains Moderate Peril.
Today I started the slow process of auditing every post that has been published on Contains Moderate Peril since 1st August 2016. The goal is to correct any obvious typos and replace all existing images with larger ones. The Squarespace software upgrade I applied to the website at the end of last year has finally allowed me to establish a standard format that I am happy with. Hence the ongoing audit is the perfect opportunity to apply these style rules to all posts. There are also some technical issues and matters regarding functionality that need to be addressed. I need to determine how to embed YouTube videos in such a way that they automatically scale to fit whatever device is viewing them. Another area which needs improving is the website search facility. This needs refinement so that enquiries can be more specific. Older posts also need to be more accessible, although I am still researching how best to achieve this.
It’s nearly two and half months since the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event ended. During that time I’ve maintained a fairly regular writing schedule and I post every two days or so. Furthermore, I finally dragged my blog template, kicking and screaming, into the modern era. I tweaked a few pages and updated the content of the “about” page. The next task is to start going through all previous posts and replacing older, low resolution images with larger, more appropriate ones. This process also presents an opportunity to ensure that all posts follow a uniform style. IE Are appropriately categorised, have links to related posts at the bottom and are SEO optimised. This will be a lengthy task so I think the best approach will be to tackle two or three posts a day. Hopefully this will raise the profile of older content, which generates the lion’s hare of traffic to this site.
I use a browser extension called Control Panel for YouTube, which allows me to determine who many videos are displayed on my YouTube homepage and to filter the content that is shown. At present it is configured to display rows of six. Something that I have noticed of late, is the amount of videos with hyperbolic titles and thumbnail images created by AI. Both of which are design choices made to increase engagement. Clickbait titles are contrived to meet current SEO optimisation criteria and as such feature more and more in search results. The fact that they frequently have no relation to the subject I am researching, seems to be neither here nor there. The same issues arise with regard to AI generated images, which again frequently have no bearing on the matter. The fact that more and more content creators do this, infers that it works and is now an essential part of the process you must follow to be seen and featured in search results.
In the last post in this series, I specified the need for a plan with regard to upgrading my blog. Well a plan has emerged, been refined and has now been formally adopted. Rather than migrate Contains Moderate Peril to a new platform and effectively have to rebuild all the content, I am going to upgrade my existing presence on Squarespace. This decision was made for two reasons. Time and money. Migrating to a new platform will take a lot of time and incur additional costs. Upgrading the existing website will take less time and has no cost implications. That is not to say that it will be easy. It has become abundantly clear that the upgrade process will break stuff and that all published posts will have to be manually repaired. Hence my choice boils down to the lesser of two evils.
This year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging has reached an end and it would appear that this event has been well received by those who have participated in it. I believe that there were 168 bloggers taking part this year, many of whom have not participated before. Some were new to blogging, where others simply wished to see if they could increase their writing output. As ever there was a wide variety of blog styles and subject matters and it has been most interesting to read new posts every day. I have attempted to leave comments and positive feedback where I can and I hope that some of these new blogs that I’ve discovered continue to write. Well done to everyone who took part. I hope it has been an enjoyable and informative process and that you have learned from it. I know that at least one blogger has determined that writing online is not for them, which is a valuable lesson.
There is currently a group writing prompt available as part of this year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging which has piqued my interest. It asks the question “what is the oldest draft post you have” and suggests that it is revived in some manner. I have dozens of draft posts in a folder in my Google Drive. Many are film reviews or film related. The oldest of which dates back to summer 2010. Rather than write a straight forward review of Blake Edwards 1968 comedy The Party, I rather foolishly thought at the time that I’d tackle the issue of whether the film is sufficiently racist to make it beyond the pale. Let it suffice to say that I quickly found myself bogged down in the complexities of the subject and thus never completed the blog post.
I’ve participated in every previous Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event. Prior to that I was involved in the Newbie Blogger Initiative or NBI as it was affectionately known. I have therefore written quite a lot of blogging advice and suggestions over the years. If anyone feels disposed to do so, you can access them all by clicking on the “blogging” option on the top menu of this blog. However, it is important to remember that a lot of the ideas I have advocated and written about over the years are purely subjective. Not all advice or guidance works for everyone. People have different ideas about blogging, different approaches to it and different aspirations. This year has highlighted some quite distinct differences among bloggers which has been most illuminating.
Not Playing Baldur’s Gate 3
I have written in the past about games that have proved popular or critically successful that pass you by. You simply weren’t aware of them or their success at the time of their release. You missed all the marketing and hype. It’s easily enough done as there’s so much white noise associated with gaming these days. You subsequently stumble across these popular games later and much to your surprise, discover their merits long after everyone else has. I have also written about what it is like to be the proverbial “odd one out” by not being part of a major gaming group. Not playing World of Warcraft is a prime example of this phenomenon. Exploring both these subjects inevitably leads to discussions about hype, gaming consensus and FOMO. This time I want to talk about a game that has recently gained a great deal of traction in the gaming community and has also caused a great deal of debate. A game that some of its more enthusiastic supporters are calling a new “industry standard”.
I have written in the past about games that have proved popular or critically successful that pass you by. You simply weren’t aware of them or their success at the time of their release. You missed all the marketing and hype. It’s easily enough done as there’s so much white noise associated with gaming these days. You subsequently stumble across these popular games later and much to your surprise, discover their merits long after everyone else has. I have also written about what it is like to be the proverbial “odd one out” by not being part of a major gaming group. Not playing World of Warcraft is a prime example of this phenomenon. Exploring both these subjects inevitably leads to discussions about hype, gaming consensus and FOMO. This time I want to talk about a game that has recently gained a great deal of traction in the gaming community and has also caused a great deal of debate. A game that some of its more enthusiastic supporters are calling a new “industry standard”.
I am of course talking about Baldur’s Gate 3, the role-playing video game developed and published by Larian Studios. It would appear that this third instalment in this popular franchise has found universal acclaim, with a Metacritic score of 97/100. Critics and gamers alike have praised the quality of the writing as well as the in-depth depiction of the continent of Faerûn from Dungeons & Dragons. The degree in which the players can make their own choices and the complexity of the dialogue trees has become a focal point of praise, as it offers (or appears to offer) the player an immense amount of freedom. The production quality, voice acting, character animations and environmental detail have all been cited as being groundbreaking. Then there is the game's implementation of the Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition ruleset, which has been well received. Many thought this would be hard to implement effectively.
I only really started paying attention to the buzz associated with Baldur’s Gate 3 a few days ago. I read some reviews from websites that I deem “sound”, then I watched some gameplay footage on YouTube. I also watched this week’s Jimquisition, as I find James Stephanie Sterling’s take on the video games industry to be in accord with my own. From what I have seen and understood, it would appear that Baldur’s Gate 3 has a lot going for it and offers a many of the things that I like in the RPG genre. I enjoy being able to customise and fine tune my avatar in a game. I also really like the dynamics and practical benefits that companions bring. The more dialogue options a game has the better. If a game forces me into a choice I’m not entirely invested in, it quickly kills my sense of immersion and mitigates my enjoyment. And I also love games that have a good story, told well. So many triple A titles these days shoot themselves in the foot due to piss poor writing.
In many respects Baldur’s Gate 3 seems like a game that I would like. Sadly, upon further inspection, there are some key elements of the game that aren’t for me. The turn based combat, which is a standout feature of the game, is not something I like at all. The dice rolling mechanic to determine the outcome of specific activities is another aspect that I feel is too random and unjust. Dungeons & Dragons was never a major aspect of my childhood and so I have no emotional attachment to it. In light of which, viewed as a whole Baldur’s Gate 3 is not for me. Despite the many pros, there are also some fundamental cons. About 50% of the game’s core mechanics fall outside of what I enjoy or am interested in. That is not a minor obstacle. Therefore, this entire gaming phenomenon will pass me by as a result of my own personal choice and that is absolutely fine by me.
One of the benefits of being an older gamer, is that I am now more discerning and less susceptible to hype, peer pressure and FOMO. I’ve bought too many games on a whim over the years, often because others were playing them and there was an emerging “scene” associated with these titles that I wanted to experience. I would persist at a game to see if I could overcome my “dislike” of it and mitigate whatever the barriers were to enjoyment. Such a strategy never worked. Sometimes you have to listen to your gut and go with your initial reaction. You can’t like everything. You can’t play everything. In fact I’d argue that sometimes being detached from specific genres, iconic titles and types of fandom has distinct benefits. As does just letting things pass you by and not being on the gaming news cycle treadmill. If you’re currently enjoying Baldur’s Gate 3, then that’s fine. I’m doing something else and that’s fine too.
I began work on Project Questa on the 27th of September, because I couldn’t get Khazad Voice TTS to work on my PC. Since then I’ve spent several days a week working on my AI narrator utility and have made steady progress. Last time I wrote about the project the production pipeline ran as follows. DXCam, OpenCV, Windows OCR and Microsoft Speech API (SAPI). Over time, I determined that Tesseract was a better OCR and that Kokoro TTS produced superior narration. However, in the last week I found that constant fine tuning across different aspects of the production process was not really producing any significant improvements. The main problems were capturing text from dialogue windows that required scrolling, as well as overall latency in producing narration. A delay over 5 seconds is too long in my assessment. Hence I decided to fundamentally change the overall approach to dialogue capture.
I started playing MMOs in late 2008 by which time the genre was clearly established and dominated by one particular title, World of Warcraft. I chose to play The Lord of the Rings Online, mainly because of my love for the intellectual property the game is based upon. I still play LOTRO today. However, I was very aware of popularity and significance of WoW at the time. It pretty much set the rules for how you design a MMO and it did much to move on from the previous gameplay parameters set by such titles as Ultima Online and EverQuest. It was also the MMO that every other developer was trying to beat. Another compelling factor regarding WoW is that everyone I knew at the time was either actively playing it or had done so at some point. It was for many gamers, the go-to title for socialising. Finally around early 2010, I tried a free trail of WoW to “see what all the fuss was about”. Simply put, I felt that it wasn’t for me.
Over the course of the last 16 years, the MMORPG Star Trek Online has changed greatly. What started as a disjointed, rushed game with unfinished systems and a lack of overall cohesion has now evolved into streamlined MMO with clearly defined systems and very strong narrative arcs. Let it suffice to say that STO makes very good use of its license and the intellectual property it is built upon. Although new content has been continuously added to STO over time and refinements are regularly rolled out, the developer’s have also removed content from the game in the past, that they feel is substandard or too dated in it presentation. Hence in October 2018 Cryptic took out the following eight missions from the game, with the proviso that they would be updated and replaced at a latter date. Until fairly recently, STO players had given up hope on this ever happening and the episodes being reinstated. Eight years is a long time.
One of the things that I enjoy when playing a new video game is character customisation or character creation. I will spend hours trawling through settings, changing the most minute and consequential aspects of my avatars appearance. I am certain that there is a psychological aspect to this particular game mechanic and that it says something about you as a person. Are your creations shaped just by a need to look good in-game or is there more to it? Are they external manifestations of your sexual preferences or thoughts on body image. Do you treat them as characters from a book that exists in your mind. Do you aspire to recreate the likeness of people you know or admire? Do you strive to make your avatar look like you? Whatever the reasons, it would seem that character creation is something that a lot of gamers enjoy. Hence I am not alone in my borderline obsession. What you look like in-game is equally as important as your character’s name.
I was playing Battlefield 6 recently and was experimenting with the mortar. If you stick with it and take some time to become familiar with its foibles, it can be an effective weapon. It can suppress the enemy, destroy equipment and provide useful cover for your own team. I remember thinking “I wonder if artillery could sustain a game on its own”. Artillery is an interesting feature in Hell Let Loose, although it is a little more complex in its game mechanics. I believe artillery is also available in Wardogs. I therefore spent a while looking online to see if there was a dedicated artillery simulator available or at least a game where it was a key feature. There nearest thing I found was Iron Nest, a dieselpunk heavy artillery game which looks interesting but isn’t quite what I seek. So I parked this idea and moved. Tonight, while perusing YouTube, I stumble across a teaser trailer for a game called Flak Simulator, currently under development by Horseman Interactive. It appears to be exactly what I am looking for.
I recently tried to use DLSS 5 Manager with the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out. Today I undertook a similar experiment with AMD Neural Rendering, which is a broadly comparable product. Both utilities use 3D-Guided Neural Rendering, an AI technology that alters how lighting, reflections, and textures look in a game. Instead of just upscaling the image like older versions, DLSS 5 uses an AI network to instantly "re-render" lighting and material responses over the game's layout, achieving photorealistic details that would normally negatively impact a graphics card's performance. Or to put it in less fancy terms, the game graphics are enhanced and modified, although it is highly subjective as to whether the end results are an improvement. However, as a game such as LOTRO is unlikely to ever receive a major graphical overhaul, tools such as these are the nearest players will get to revised graphics.
The core game code and engine for the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online, is about 24 years old. LOTRO began originally as Middle-earth Online, developed by Sierra On-Line in 1998. Turbine took over full development of the project in 2003/2004 when their parent company, Vivendi Universal Games, acquired Sierra. The content that had already been developed by Sierra was abandoned and Turbine created a new game using structural elements such as the UI and game engine from their previous release Asheron’s Call 2 from 2002. The Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar was officially released in April 2007. Hence, the active public release code is 19 years old. Despite continuous expansion and updates, along with a recent migration to 64-bit architecture, the foundations of LOTRO retains a nearly twenty year old legacy framework. This frequently contributes to modern technical hurdles and engine constraints.
A few years ago, there was a fan created project to provide voice narration of NPC dialogue in the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. This mainly involved capturing the text in the quest dialogue windows and then sending it to OCR software, before using a text-to-speech program to read it. LOTROVoice as it was known, broadly worked but the creator stopped developing it as it proved troublesome to maintain. However, I recently discovered Khazad Voice TTS which is a separate project that does pretty much the same. I went so far as to install this “immersive AI narrator for LOTRO” after seeing a YouTube video of it being used successfully. Sadly I ran into issues configuring Khazad Voice TTS, because I have two monitors and LOTRO runs on the secondary (by my choice) and not the primary. I couldn’t “lasso” the dialogue windows in LOTRO during the calibration set up, which effectively prevented me from completing the process.
Throughout yesterday and early today, there was an issue logging in to the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. Upon starting the game launcher, it would attempt to connect to the patch server to download the latest game update. This process would start but then subsequently stall at 33%. The launcher would then attempt to reconnect to the patch server every 60 seconds but could not make any further progress. Some players found that if they left it long enough, it would eventually complete the download and the launcher then progress to the next screen where they could input their username and password. However, for the majority of LOTRO players the problem would simply persists and the launcher would be stuck in a loop. Some players attempted to reinstall the game or use the repair data facility in the launcher but neither of these proved to be successful workarounds. The patch sever needed to be bypassed to resolve the issue.
I’ve been playing Fall Guys since its launch in early 2020, during the start of the pandemic. It is a fun, family friendly multiplayer game which is has proven popular with my grandchildren. Despite the game’s acquisition by Epic, it has maintained a sufficient level of popularity that has seen it ported to all major gaming platforms. Fall Guys is free to play but like most multiplayer games, there is a season pass and an in-game store. However, these monetised aspects are not essential to enjoy the game and the overall marketing of emotes and skins is nowhere near as invasive as it is in Roblox. In fact many of the players I see while in-game have default skins, indicating a regular casual player base. However, although game seems to be maintaining its popularity, it has several bugs that appear to be be persistent. Bugs that the developers claim have been resolved. Some can be addressed by players. Other at present cannot.
I find the concept of in-game radio stations fascinating. They’re an enjoyable aspect of open world video games and I have discovered several artists this way. They’re certainly a big deal as far as Rockstar Games are concerned, because the music selected for GTA VI is another important facet of the overall marketing campaign. So far, between two trailers and the sprawling extended look on Netflix, it has been determined that Tom Petty, the Pointer Sisters, Sexyy Red, Depeche Mode, Phil Collins, Birdman, Lil Wayne and the Bellamy Brothers are all part of the game soundtrack. That’s a very eclectic selection so far. Furthermore, there will be a 34 track album released on physical media (vinyl and CD) in conjunction with Atlantic Records.
Two years ago I wrote a post about fine tuning your graphics in the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online. Apart from installing ReShade and using AMD Adrenalin, the options were somewhat limited, due to the game’s age and multiplayer status. Since then, I’ve been playing LOTRO with the game settings maxed out, a custom ReShade profile to make the colour palette more vivid and Radeon Image Sharpening enabled within the AMD software. The game looks clear, crisp and the draw distance is pretty good for an ageing game but I still wish the graphics could be tweaked further. Hence, I’ve been trawling the internet in a vain attempt to see if I can find any third party utilities that could be used to enhance LOTRO further. During the course of my search I stumbled across DLSS 5 Manager. This is an open-source, intelligent utility and one-click mod installer designed to inject and manage Nvidia's DLSS 5 neural rendering features, ReShade, and OptiScaler into PC games.
Hellraiser (1987) was one of he most innovative and intelligent horror films of the eighties, with its cerebral and sophisticated exploration of pleasure, pain and the supernatural. Sadly what was a great concept for a single film was turned into yet another horror franchise. The resulting series of increasingly inferior sequels ultimately diminished the central idea. However, in recent years several horror “brands” have found a new lease of life via the medium of video games, so the announcement of Hellraiser: Revival last summer piqued my interest. The fact that author Clive Barker was directly involved certainly raised my expectations. However, even though video games have a history of depicting sex and violence, would the medium be able to fully embrace the true nature of Barker’s original novella and original film. Having played through the newly released demo for Hellraiser: Revival, I believe the answer is a yes.
Are video games becoming easier? It’s a perennial subject that is frequently discussed by those who play them. Often the question of whether they have actually become easier is not the focus of the debate, as it seems to be broadly recognised that it is the case. Instead, discussion of this matter tend to drift into the rectitude of this change. Debate’s of this nature are usually awash with subjective opinions and personal preferences which are then put forward as objective facts. It’s not just a question of video games becoming easier, it’s the fact that making them easier is “wrong” and those who want them as such are “not proper gamers” etc. The hours that have been lost to this pointless, tedious debate are uncountable. However, I digress. Let us return to the matter of video games becoming easier, because although fans discuss this a lot and have plenty to say, you don’t often hear from the developers on this subject.
Some video games lend themselves to being set aside and resumed at a later date with zero consequences. These are often casual games with no major goals other than having fun while playing them. Fall Guys is a great example of this. You have a cartoony avatar that participates in zany group races, filled with obstacles. You run, jump, climb but the controls are far from difficult. You may well become skilled but such things are mitigated by the other players as they stumble around. You’re not at the mercy of apex players or “try hards”. It is not a game about winning and mastering techniques. The fun comes from playing it and the unique experience you have each time. I’ve been playing this game, on and off, since it’s launch in 2020 and in that time I have only ever won once (winning requires you to win a series of 4 to six individual races). However, whenever I pick up my controller and play Fall Guys, I have fun and the game lifts my spirits.
I recently completed the main story in Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon. In total I spent about sixty hours playing the game. I began at the start of the year, then took a break for a while but returned to it recently because I wanted to see if I could unlock a specific ending. I did manage to do this. Like so many other RPGs, Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon has a central storyline, along with a wealth of side quests, based around factions in specific zones. I think I possibly completed about a two thirds of these. However, once I finished the main story, my interest in the game began to wane. I finally left my character in the last major quest hub in case I wish to return at a future date. I then logged out of the game and uninstalled it from my PC to free up space for whatever I was to play next. In this case its The Sinking City 2. None of this is a negative reflection on Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon. I enjoyed the time I spent playing this quirky RPG. I simply had my fill and left to play something else.
On Tuesday 11th April, Aspyr Media rather surprisingly re-released The Lord of the Rings: War in the North, a co-op action-RPG from 2011. This game was delisted in late 2019, possibly due to changing rights ownership or a license expiring. Hence, I was somewhat discombobulated by the return of this title to all major gaming platforms. Mind you, the Embracer Group (through its subsidiary Middle-earth Enterprises) still controls the worldwide commercial and video game licensing rights for The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Furthermore they have explicitly stated that they have plans for more games. It would appear this also means re-releasing and updating old favourites. It is also worth noting that they own Aspyr Media, which is also a bit of a giveaway. Let it suffice to say that this re-release and sparked enthusiastic online debate as to whether any other he Lord of the Rings themed games from the same era will receive a similar makeover. Judging by the internet chatter, there’s potentially a market for them.
The next expansion for the MMORG, The Lord of the Rings Online, was announced on the 1st August, via the gaming website MMORPG.The Wolves of Mordor, which will launch later in the year, appears ambitious in scope as it will include two new game systems as well as the obligatory story update. This expansion takes place in Draugardh located in the North East of Mordor, beyond the Plateau of Gorgoroth. It includes the new zones of Heledhris, Parth Rhavas and Nan Ogol. These vary environmentally ranging from the arid, volcanic and semi-tropical. Players will encounter the Daugrim in these regions, Werewolves but not in the modern sense. This is not the lycanthropy of Eastern European legends but in the established Tolkien idiom of fell spirits inhabiting the bodies of Wolves. The region also sees the return of the Woses and players can expect to encounter Elves and scouts from Gondor. As ever with LOTRO expansions, there will be new instances as well as a raid.
This is a post about the power of nostalgia and how sometimes, interacting with something from your past, be it physically or mentally, can produce a very strong and tangible emotional reaction. In some instances, this can be the result of something that you have specifically set out to do. On other occasions you can wander into a sense of nostalgia purely by chance. Today I experienced a very strong sense of nostalgia while watching a YouTube video and then again when I sought to replicate what I had seen. The video showed someone installing Windows 95 on to an old 486 PC from that era. The Window’s start up sound really touched a nerve (but in a good way) and then when the guy in the video launched Space Cadet 3D Pinball, a game that shipped with the operating system, I felt a strong compulsion to track down a copy and install the game myself, thus revisiting something that was an integral part of my life in 1995.
RV There Yet? is possibly the most entertaining game I’ve never played. My vicarious pleasure regarding this title has come exclusively from watching two popular YouTubers, JackFrags and WillFromWork, play through the game over a series of videos. It has been immensely amusing to watch and I have empathised a great deal as the group of four players has struggled with the game’s unpredictable mechanics and their own team’s dynamic. I could go and buy RV There Yet? myself but I doubt if I would ever have a gaming experience anywhere close to what I’ve watched online recently. So in some respects watching these videos has been an interesting alternative as I’ve been entertained, which ultimately is the point of video games. Perhaps there is a deeper philosophical point here that the game developers should reflect upon, as they’ve lost a potential sale. However, that is separate discussion for another day.
I don’t keep up with gaming news as much as I use to but several noteworthy announcement have come to my attention of late. Firstly, there’s an expansion, Songs of the Past, coming for the Witcher III: Wild Hunt in 2027. No doubt this is to pave the way for the Witcher IV. Next, I also found out about Hand of Fate: Horde. I liked this franchise and was saddened to learn that the original studio, Defiant Development, closed. Hence is was a pleasant surprise to see this new game being developed by members of the original studio. The third announcement was regarding Guild Wars 3. A new MMORPG in active development by a major studio is no small feat and is certainly good news for fans of this franchise and the genre per se. However, once you look beyond this news this announcement raises several questions and has certainly given me pause for thought. Let us take a few moments to consider them.
Star Trek Online has many in-game systems that are common to the MMORPG genre. The reputation system is one such example. In STO there are 13 reputation factions. Once a player has reached level 50 they may start progressing through the 6 reputation tiers of each one. Players gain progression through daily projects (20 hours in duration). Hourly projects are also available though they yield less reputation advancement and are limited to three times a day. Hence 20 hour projects are consider by default the most efficient way to gain rep. Projects require 30 Faction Specific Marks (earned via various activities in-game), 15,000 Energy Credits (standard in-game currency) and 2000 Expertise points. The most efficient way to tackle the reputation grind is to build up the necessary resources in advance and then at a designated time each day, start all 13 respective projects. Upon completion projects yield a player bound lockbox containing a random space or ground weapon, a console or Elite Marks which can be used to acquire faction gear.
I was recently perusing my archive of old blog posts, when it struck me how much I’ve written about the MMORPG genre over the years. Naturally, there was far more material from between 2008 and 2012 as that was period when I immersed myself in the genre and was very enthusiastic about it. I was at a point in my life when I had the time to dedicate to such games and I was happy to participate in the social aspect of they offered. I would regularly play through group content and spend time socialising online with fellow guild members. My experience remains a textbook example of how online games can be more than the sum of their parts and that where you are at in your life has a major impact upon your overall enjoyment. As I read though various old posts it became clear that my experiences where specific to this particular part of my life and that they cannot be repeated. My relationship with the genre is very different now and that’s fine.
Creating alts is an integral aspect of the MMORPG genre. Many players will create a character of a specific class or faction, play it for a while, lose interest in it or they may decide that it is just not for them. Fortunately it is no effort at all to simply re-roll a new alt and set off once again. Furthermore, lots of players never reach level cap of the MMORPG that there playing. When the going get’s tough, so to speak, you can either soldier on for another 50 levels or simply create a new alt and return to the comfort of tried and tested content. Alts also give you the chance to secure an accolade or achievement that you previously missed. They are also of great benefit to the genres social aspects. Creating a new alt so you can play along with a friend who is just starting is great fun. Developer’s love them too as it means you’re still playing the game.
I recently took a break from Crimson Desert choosing instead to to play something familiar and easy going. As I’ve been logging into Star Trek Online daily to participate in the anniversary event, I decided to look through my various alts and see how far they had progressed through the game and what resources they had. At present I have twelve alts. My primary Captain was created in 2015 during the original Delta Recruit Event. I had previously played STO intermittently since its release in January 2010 but I never kept any of those characters. Hence this decade old Tactical Federation Captain has been my main focus when playing. The other eleven alts are the result of other recruitment events or whenever I wanted to try something different, such as playing a specific class or faction. I obviously played a lot of STO during the lockdown as several alts date from that period. Several had maximum reputation across all factions.
The action, open world RPG Crimson Desert has been patched five times since it launched on March 19th and there have also been multiple hotfixes. At first glance this isn’t anything unusual. New games have bugs and issues arise once a game is released and played across a much wider variety of hardware than in QA testing. However, if you read the patch notes that accompany these sizeable downloads it quickly becomes apparent that developer’s Pearl Abyss are not just addressing bugs and software glitches. They are actively engaging with their player base and responding to suggestions and requests from that community. Although this is not a unique approach, what is surprising is the speed and quantity in which these player driven changes are happening. There seems to be an active ongoing process to refine the game and eliminate some of its “rough edges” and the players are contributing to this process with their feedback.
According to my Steam statistics, I last played Starfield on 19th December 2023. I bought the game upon its release in September of that year and played in total for 136 hours. Starfield held my interest for three and a half month and I wrote seven blog posts about various aspects of the game. Although there were some engaging aspects to Starfield, I did feel that that the game was somewhat lacking in systems and content, at that point in its lifecycle. I also think that the marketing and player expectations associated with Starfield were overblown and unrealistic. The shadow of Skyrim looms large over all new Bethesda releases and they don’t seem able to quite recapture that magic. Hence, I inevitably drifted away from Starfield and to another game and was effectively “done” with it. I have not played the game since which seems to validate the theory that game are becoming increasingly more ephemeral.
13 days after its release, market analysts estimate that Crimson Desert has already earned $200 million across the four main platforms (PC, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X and S). The game is certainly proving popular among gamers with the internet awash with live streams and “let’s play” videos. However, reviews are mixed both among gaming journalists and YouTube influencers. Common complaints about the game include that it is slow to start, the controls are poorly laid out on all platforms and that developer’s Pearl Abyss have done a poor job of explaining most aspects of the game to new players. Although such criticisms are true to a degree, I think these complaints highlight how many gamers are conditioned to expect new titles to follow a specific pattern with regard to pacing, narrative exposition and learning in-game systems. A pattern that Pearl Abyss has chosen to ignore, instead favouring an old school approach.
Creator Appreciation Week: Cool Dudes Walking Club
It's Creator Appreciation Week (August 13th – August 19th) for those participating in Blaugust: Festival of Blogging 2023. What does that mean in plain English? It means I am going to write a post specifically about someone or a group of people who create content that I enjoy. Now that is not a short list. I subscribe to dozens of YouTube channels and even more blogs via Feedly. However, it is not practical to try and write about all of these. So I have had to think long and hard about selecting one creator to highlight. It’s quite a difficult choice because I enjoy a multitude of content for different reasons. However, I have chosen one which regularly keeps me entertained, has a good community associated and also offers an element of interaction which is quite unique. It is this last factor which has tipped the balance.
It's Creator Appreciation Week (August 13th – August 19th) for those participating in Blaugust: Festival of Blogging 2023. What does that mean in plain English? It means I am going to write a post specifically about someone or a group of people who create content that I enjoy. Now that is not a short list. I subscribe to dozens of YouTube channels and even more blogs via Feedly. However, it is not practical to try and write about all of these. So I have had to think long and hard about selecting one creator to highlight. It’s quite a difficult choice because I enjoy a multitude of content for different reasons. However, I have chosen one which regularly keeps me entertained, has a good community associated and also offers an element of interaction which is quite unique. It is this last factor which has tipped the balance.
One of my hobbies is walking for pleasure. The UK has a culture of walking and it is often a very practical means of getting about. Then there are the obvious physical and mental health benefits. The former are obvious, the latter not immediately so. Some people do not like being alone with their thoughts or find silence or at least the absence of speech, comforting. I do. Walking affords me a time to think and reflect upon anything I choose. It also allows me to switch off if I wish to. And then there are walks in the countryside. There’s the enjoyment of planning a route and challenging yourself with the distance you walk. Walking can be a fluid situation if a route through a field is untenable, or the weather turns against you. But it is always worth it for the potential views and the opportunity to pursue other interests when out, like photography, painting or wildlife spotting.
Which segues nicely into the Cool Dudes Walking Club. I would like to point out that “dude” is used in a non-gender specific way and that the club is open to all. About seven years ago I was perusing YouTube and found a channel belonging to comedian, actor and writer Marek Larwood. I was aware of his work and subscribed to his channel as it featured (among other things) a series of videos involving excursions to major tourist attractions in London. Let it suffice to say that Marek’s outlook on travel, tourists and generally navigating daily life resonated with me. As he has a keen interest in walking and started producing more related content, he eventually set up a separate YouTube channel. Thus the Cool Dudes Walking Club was born. I subsequently joined, subscribed to the new YouTube channel and became a monthly supporter.
There is a tendency these days for videos to follow a “process”. I don’t mind well made YouTube content but I don’t want the process to crowd out the passion. One of the key things about Marek Larwood’s walking videos is that they are made in an informal fashion but that doesn’t mean that they lack enthusiasm. Marek talks about his gear, gives hints and tips about walking and what he’s hoping to achieve. But it never feels like a hard sell. He also provides anecdotes and information relating to where he is walking and the sights and sounds along the way. Yet it is far from didactic or stilted. In fact the overall tone of most of his videos is the same as if you were walking with your mates. In between the clear love and excitement, there are miscellaneous grumblings about tourists or public footpaths that farmers have purposely blocked. And don’t get Marek started on pigeons. Therefore, the Cool Dudes Walking Club is not only entertaining but very relatable. That is important.
Another aspect of the Cool Dudes Walking Club that I like is the associated community. The comments on YouTube are always pleasant and informative. Often Marek will ask a question in the video such as “do you like “wild” camping? If so, what is wrong with you?” and the responses are honest and again relatable. I think the channel attracts walkers with a laid back mindset who enjoy walking in the moment, rather than those who see this outdoor pursuit as an ironman style challenge. And then there’s the photos. There are a range of Marek keyrings available as club merchandise and an open invitation to take pictures of your “mini Marek” while out walking. Pictures that are sent in feature at the end of videos and they are for me a highlight. People are very creative with their pictures and they often feature very interesting locations.
So these are a few of the reasons why I enjoy being a member of the Cool Dudes Walking Club. It is nice to be part of a community that enjoys a shared hobby, has a welcoming and genuine outlook and is fun to spend time with online. Plus it would be remiss of me not to say that I appreciate Marek’s sense of humour and broader perspective. He is also very good when it comes to extolling the virtues of his walks and their respective locations. I visited both Avebury and the Bembridge Windmill because of his videos. I also empathise with his aspiration to try and make the Cool Dudes Walking Club his primary job. I used to harbour similar hopes regarding writing and this site. Therefore it is nice to see the club membership grow and someone making progress through their own hard work.
It's Creator Appreciation Week (August 13th – August 19th) for those participating in Blaugust: Festival of Blogging 2023. What does that mean in plain English? It means I am going to write a post specifically about someone or a group of people who create content that I enjoy. Now that is not a short list. I subscribe to dozens of YouTube channels and even more blogs via Feedly. However, it is not practical to try and write about all of these. So I have had to think long and hard about selecting one creator to highlight. It’s quite a difficult choice because I enjoy a multitude of content for different reasons. However, I have chosen one which regularly keeps me entertained, has a good community associated and also offers an element of interaction which is quite unique. It is this last factor which has tipped the balance.
Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London is a step-free art trail and tourist attraction featuring the iconic animated character Morph. It is hosted by charitable organisation Whizz-Kidz, global event producers Wild in Art and Aardman. The trail features 56 super-sized sculptures of the much-loved children’s TV character, which are set among various iconic London landmarks including St Pauls, Tate Modern, Tower of London, Shakespeare’s Globe and Borough Market. It is a free public art trail and tourist attraction, designed by a variety of artists to excite and inspire people of all ages, whilst increasing public awareness about the need for young wheelchair users to be mobile, enabled and included in society. Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London runs from June 19th until August 20th 2023.
With January already behind us, Mrs P and I decided it was high time we took our first day trip of 2022. So yesterday I spent some time looking online at details of various National Trust sites within an hour or so drive from our home. I also looked at similar places of historical note that are run by other bodies. Sadly, many are either partially or totally closed for the present. It would appear that from January to March many of these sorts of tourist attractions spend time repairing, refurbishing and preparing for forthcoming events. Grounds also have to be maintained. Hence, we were somewhat lacking in choice for suitable destinations. However, as the weather forecast was mild, today we opted to visit the village of Chiddingstone so we could walk in the grounds of the local castle and along the various footpaths in the area.
Regular readers will already know my position on New Year’s Resolutions. I think unrealistic, kneejerk commitments to hare-brained schemes that you know damn well won’t ever get done, are crass and tiresome. So let’s not waste each other’s time going down that route. I like sensible, realistic, attainable goals and that is exactly what I am setting myself for 2022. I want to increase my writing output this year because my drafts folder is filled with posts and ideas that haven’t quite been completed. Essentially this comes down to making the time to finish these articles and possibly embracing a somewhat briefer writing style. I’m also going to try and see if I can grow the existing audience for Contains Moderate Peril. I have some ideas as to how to do this and none of them really require any additional resources. It simply comes down to doing the required work and staying motivated. I believe that I meet both of those requirements.
The last few days have been very warm here in the UK. Sadly, this pleasant weather isn’t going to last and in two weeks time it will officially be Autumn. So we decided to make the most of the sunshine and take a trip out to East Sussex. Today’s destination was the village of Burwash, situated in the High Weald of Sussex. This rural community grew in size during the 13th century after King Henry III granted permission for a weekly market. It became a hot spot for smugglers during the 18th and 19th centuries, with contraband coming up from Hastings via the River Dudwell, a tributary of the River Rother. Burwash High Street has been designated a Conservation area by Rother District Council. Many of the period buildings along the High Street have been given listed building status by English Heritage. St Bartholomew’s Church is also of note. Although extensively restored in 1856, the tower dates back to the Norman period.
For the last week the UK has been enjoying some exceptionally warm weather with temperatures reaching 80 degrees Fahrenheit (27 degrees Celsius) and above, here in the South East. For our latest day trip Mrs P and I decided to go somewhere local to reduce driving time and allow us to make an early start. Both of us wanted to achieve our daily step count (10,000 steps which is approximately 5 miles) but be done by mid afternoon before the heat made such activities uncomfortable. So we decided to go to Lesnes Abbey Woods which has a well tended park, gardens and the remains of a 12th century Abbey. It also connects to the Green Chain Walk. We drove there as it is only about twenty minutes away by car. However, we subsequently discovered that a local bus stops right outside the main entrance, so will bear this in mind for future visits.
Today’s weather was perfect for walking with light clouds, a gentle breeze and temperatures around 23 Celsius (73 Fahrenheit). So Mrs P and I decided that we’d like to take a leisurely stroll somewhere local. Fortunately, we live in south east London and not far from the Green Chain Walk. This is a network of managed trails and pathways through various woodlands and parks that span four Boroughs. We decided to walk to Avery Hill Park and then follow the Green Chain Walk to Eltham. From there we then walked through the high street to Well Hall and visited the Pleasaunce. Our journey covered a distance of about 4.5 miles or so. We took our time and frequently stopped to enjoy the surroundings. Overall we walked for about 2 hours. We then decided to return home by bus, as the weather had become somewhat overcast.
Due to the surprisingly good weather, Mrs P and I paid an impromptu visit to the village of Shorne in Kent yesterday. It’s a small community about 3 miles east of Gravesend. Where most of the new houses are located in a shallow valley, the old village is built upon higher ground and has a great view of the Thames Estuary, stretching from Gravesend to Southend-on-sea. Shorne Wood Country Park is also nearby. This area of woods was once part of the large Cobham Hall Estate. In 1987 it came into the ownership of Kent County Council and was redeveloped for public use. There are several places of interest in Shorne such as Mill Cottages, Mill House and the remains of Shorne Mill. There are also some ancient barrows dating from Neolithic period. However, we had come specifically to visit St Peter and St Paul Church and place flowers on a friend’s grave.
I’ve written previously about walking for pleasure and its respective health benefits. I’ve decided that I wish to do more than just walk locally and for mainly functional reasons. Walking to the shops is good exercise but somewhat lacking in places of interest and areas of natural beauty, unless your definition includes the local Indian Restaurant and betting shop. So in an attempt to expand the scope of my travels, I’ve downloaded a few bespoke walking apps to my phone that are relevant to the local area. The most notable is the BexleyWalks app. Bexley being the London Borough in which I live. Although I enjoyed these suggested walks, they have covered a lot of familiar territory. Yes, it has been interesting to follow the various routes and pause to read about the local area history. But many of the walks are based in an area I’ve lived in for four decades. I need to travel further afield to somewhere I don’t know so well.
Today I visited Emmetts Garden in Sevenoaks. The Edwardian estate located at Ide Hill and is now owned by the National Trust for Places of Historic Interest or Natural Beauty. The garden, which covers an area of about six acres, is situated on a 600-foot sandstone ridge, overlooking the Weald. It is one of the highest points in Kent, offering an expansive view of the North Downs. The garden was laid out in the late 19th century and was influenced by William Robinson. It contains many exotic rare trees and shrubs from across the world. You can explore the rose and rock gardens, take in the views as well as enjoy flowers and shrubs in spring. In autumn visitors can enjoy the vibrant colours brought about by the changing of the season. The main attraction at this time of year are the Bluebells.
Accidents
Accidents will happen, as Elvis Costello astutely pointed out. Furthermore they often occur in the most innocuous of fashions, as I shall now tell. Myself and Mrs P were over our local park today with our two and a half year old grandson Oscar. It is located directly behind our home and has a small children’s play area as well as various adult exercise equipment. One of these items is a low, wooden ramp whose highest end is no more than eighteen inches off the ground. Oscar likes to climb on this, run to the end and jump. Naturally, he did this today when we visited. Mrs P then followed suit (at his request) and stepped off onto the soft, child safe surface. Her right knee gave way and she fell over. Despite the short distance and the soft surface, the fall was sufficient to injure her knee, as there was an audible crack. She subsequently could not get up on her own and I had to assist her so she could sit on the aforementioned ramp.
Accidents will happen, as Elvis Costello astutely pointed out. Furthermore they often occur in the most innocuous of fashions, as I shall now tell. Myself and Mrs P were over our local park today with our two and a half year old grandson Oscar. It is located directly behind our home and has a small children’s play area as well as various adult exercise equipment. One of these items is a low, wooden ramp whose highest end is no more than eighteen inches off the ground. Oscar likes to climb on this, run to the end and jump. Naturally, he did this today when we visited. Mrs P then followed suit (at his request) and stepped off onto the soft, child safe surface. Her right knee gave way and she fell over. Despite the short distance and the soft surface, the fall was sufficient to injure her knee, as there was an audible crack. She subsequently could not get up on her own and I had to assist her so she could sit on the aforementioned ramp.
Due to the swelling and the fact that she couldn’t put any weight on her right leg, I had to go to my parents house which is nearby and fetch my late mother’s wheelchair. This proved invaluable. To cut a long story short, we went to the Urgent Care Centre at our local hospital. It is not a full A&E but this is exactly the sort of injury that they deal with. The knee was x-rayed and found to have no bone injuries. However, due to the obvious damage to the soft tissue, Mrs P has been referred to the fracture clinic. In the meantime, her entire right leg from the top of the thigh to the ankle is in a splint. She cannot put weight on it and the pain is intense, even when sitting or lying down. As she cannot move, she requires assistance with visits to the toilet. At present she is taking paracetamol for pain relief but it is proving insufficient. I shall call our local GP tomorrow to see if something more robust can be prescribed. This matter is complicated by Mrs P’s heart condition.
When I reflect on this and other accidents that have befallen my family and friends over the years, I am constantly surprised by their mundane and banal nature. My mother slipped over in the bathroom in November 2019 and broke her upper right arm. She was reaching for a towel to dry her hands. The break was so bad that it had to be pinned. My father hit himself in the face with a spanner while trying to unscrew a particularly difficult engine bolt, resulting in him knocking out a tooth. This was in the seventies when tinkering with your car was an quintessential weekend ritual in suburbia. I sprained my ankle in 2002, when stepping off the curb in Great Newport Street. My foot went black within minutes and I was out of action for at least five days. All of these minor incidents seem to have disproportionate outcomes or long term aftereffects that you wouldn’t immediately associate with such low key beginnings.
Another consideration that springs to mind, is how modern homes and public spaces are far from accommodating if you are not 100% able. Something that the disabled encounter everyday. At present, Mrs P is using a wheelchair for practical reasons. When we were leaving the hospital today, the paving stones outside were in a shocking state making wheelchair use uncomfortable and dangerous. Furthermore, at home when travelling from her bed to the bathroom, the standard doorways in the UK can barely accommodate the width of a wheelchair. We are both grateful that we live in a bungalow and do not have any stairs to navigate. Then there is the issue of care, which often follows in the aftermath of an accident. Both I and Mrs P are retired so we don’t have to worry about taking time off work to look after someone. Not everyone is in such a position or has a partner or family available to help, to begin with.
It would appear that the rule of thumb associated with these sorts of accidents is that they can occur anywhere and at any time. On a personal note I feel that they often go hand-in-hand with the mantra “no good deed goes unpunished”, because such accidents frequently stem from trying to help someone else or doing some kind of favour for another. In a curious validation of this speculation about the banality of accidents, while Mrs P was waiting to be seen in the Urgent Care Centre, one of our neighbours arrived with a cut thumb that required stitches. He sustained his injury as he was ringing his son’s front door. A loose tile caused him to slip and fall into a flower pot. To add insult to injury, the entire incident was caught on his son’s CCTV which overlooks the drive. All of which makes me think there may be something in M.R. James’ short story “The Malice of Inanimate Objects”.
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
LOTRO: River-hobbits Preview
There have been four test previews of Update 37 for the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online, recently on the Bullroarer test server. I only managed to briefly log in on the 1st of August, specifically to check out the new River-hobbit race. During my brief time on Bullroarer I investigated their respective character creation options and after quickly throwing together a new alt, logged into the game itself. Because I have been absent from both LOTRO and the official forums of late, I was not aware of any of the details surrounding River-hobbits. I was somewhat surprised that they hailed from Lyndelby in the Wells of Langflood. As I was short on time, I didn’t play through the new bespoke starter story associated with the new race. I logged out with the intention of returning during the next beta test but sadly I missed it. Hence I have spent the last few days reading several blogs and the official game forums to find out more about River-hobbits and how well they’ve been received so far.
There have been four test previews of Update 37 for the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online, recently on the Bullroarer test server. I only managed to briefly log in on the 1st of August, specifically to check out the new River-hobbit race. During my brief time on Bullroarer I investigated their respective character creation options and after quickly throwing together a new alt, logged into the game itself. Because I have been absent from both LOTRO and the official forums of late, I was not aware of any of the details surrounding River-hobbits. I was somewhat surprised that they hailed from Lyndelby in the Wells of Langflood. As I was short on time, I didn’t play through the new bespoke starter story associated with the new race. I logged out with the intention of returning during the next beta test but sadly I missed it. Hence I have spent the last few days reading several blogs and the official game forums to find out more about River-hobbits and how well they’ve been received so far.
Let it suffice to say, River-hobbits as they exist after 4 rounds of testing, have not met with universal acclaim. Broadly speaking I would say opinion on the official forums is equally divided on the matter. However, I tend to be ambivalent of this particular platform as it is not sufficiently representative of the wider LOTRO community. There are a lot of personalities who regularly contribute and participate in the various discussions there who struggle with objective criticism and acceptance of contrary opinions. That notwithstanding, based upon what I’ve seen and more importantly read so far, the objections raised are as follows.
The current River-hobbit character models are not sufficiently “hobbit” like. They look more akin to scaled down human assets.
The representation of River-hobbits seems to be canonically problematic and the associated in-game lore seems deliberately ambiguous.
The overall level and quality of development of this new race seems to be “minimal”. IE Too many reused and repurposed in-game assets. Indifferent writing and insufficient effort being put into the undertaking.
All of which tallies with what I’ve seen so far of River-hobbits. I was surprised to see how “un-hobbit like” the character models were when I logged into the test server at the beginning of the month. I was somewhat disappointed that Lyndelby had been chosen as the starter location for the new race. This remote and deliberately hidden village is already established via a prior update and is clearly an agrarian settlement. There is a river for irrigation purposes but the environment does not immediately seem an ideal fit for this new race. For me, River-hobbits conjures up images of a community specifically linked with waterways. IE One that uses boats, fishes and has homes on the river bank or on a boardwalk. Perhaps even a few adventurous denizens have houseboats.
One of the reasons that I have drifted away from LOTRO is that it never seems to be able to step beyond the technical and creative confines it has made for itself. I applaud wholeheartedly the fact that new content is continuously added to the game. But it is always “more of the same”. No more, no less. I appreciate that trying to do something radical with a game running on code from before 2007 is not easy. Yet, the developers seem to have a mindset of not even trying to think outside the box. Using the blanket excuse of “old code and technical difficulties” to absolve themselves from trying anything new is far from edifying. But it can be argued that Standing Stone Games have always been their own worst enemy. In the meantime let us wait and see if any further meaningful changes are made to River-hobbits. I suspect that after 4 beta tests, apart from some aesthetic tweaks, what you currently see will be what you get in the final release. How it is received by regular players will be interesting.
I began work on Project Questa on the 27th of September, because I couldn’t get Khazad Voice TTS to work on my PC. Since then I’ve spent several days a week working on my AI narrator utility and have made steady progress. Last time I wrote about the project the production pipeline ran as follows. DXCam, OpenCV, Windows OCR and Microsoft Speech API (SAPI). Over time, I determined that Tesseract was a better OCR and that Kokoro TTS produced superior narration. However, in the last week I found that constant fine tuning across different aspects of the production process was not really producing any significant improvements. The main problems were capturing text from dialogue windows that required scrolling, as well as overall latency in producing narration. A delay over 5 seconds is too long in my assessment. Hence I decided to fundamentally change the overall approach to dialogue capture.
One of the things that I enjoy when playing a new video game is character customisation or character creation. I will spend hours trawling through settings, changing the most minute and consequential aspects of my avatars appearance. I am certain that there is a psychological aspect to this particular game mechanic and that it says something about you as a person. Are your creations shaped just by a need to look good in-game or is there more to it? Are they external manifestations of your sexual preferences or thoughts on body image. Do you treat them as characters from a book that exists in your mind. Do you aspire to recreate the likeness of people you know or admire? Do you strive to make your avatar look like you? Whatever the reasons, it would seem that character creation is something that a lot of gamers enjoy. Hence I am not alone in my borderline obsession. What you look like in-game is equally as important as your character’s name.
I recently tried to use DLSS 5 Manager with the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out. Today I undertook a similar experiment with AMD Neural Rendering, which is a broadly comparable product. Both utilities use 3D-Guided Neural Rendering, an AI technology that alters how lighting, reflections, and textures look in a game. Instead of just upscaling the image like older versions, DLSS 5 uses an AI network to instantly "re-render" lighting and material responses over the game's layout, achieving photorealistic details that would normally negatively impact a graphics card's performance. Or to put it in less fancy terms, the game graphics are enhanced and modified, although it is highly subjective as to whether the end results are an improvement. However, as a game such as LOTRO is unlikely to ever receive a major graphical overhaul, tools such as these are the nearest players will get to revised graphics.
The core game code and engine for the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online, is about 24 years old. LOTRO began originally as Middle-earth Online, developed by Sierra On-Line in 1998. Turbine took over full development of the project in 2003/2004 when their parent company, Vivendi Universal Games, acquired Sierra. The content that had already been developed by Sierra was abandoned and Turbine created a new game using structural elements such as the UI and game engine from their previous release Asheron’s Call 2 from 2002. The Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar was officially released in April 2007. Hence, the active public release code is 19 years old. Despite continuous expansion and updates, along with a recent migration to 64-bit architecture, the foundations of LOTRO retains a nearly twenty year old legacy framework. This frequently contributes to modern technical hurdles and engine constraints.
A few years ago, there was a fan created project to provide voice narration of NPC dialogue in the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. This mainly involved capturing the text in the quest dialogue windows and then sending it to OCR software, before using a text-to-speech program to read it. LOTROVoice as it was known, broadly worked but the creator stopped developing it as it proved troublesome to maintain. However, I recently discovered Khazad Voice TTS which is a separate project that does pretty much the same. I went so far as to install this “immersive AI narrator for LOTRO” after seeing a YouTube video of it being used successfully. Sadly I ran into issues configuring Khazad Voice TTS, because I have two monitors and LOTRO runs on the secondary (by my choice) and not the primary. I couldn’t “lasso” the dialogue windows in LOTRO during the calibration set up, which effectively prevented me from completing the process.
Throughout yesterday and early today, there was an issue logging in to the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. Upon starting the game launcher, it would attempt to connect to the patch server to download the latest game update. This process would start but then subsequently stall at 33%. The launcher would then attempt to reconnect to the patch server every 60 seconds but could not make any further progress. Some players found that if they left it long enough, it would eventually complete the download and the launcher then progress to the next screen where they could input their username and password. However, for the majority of LOTRO players the problem would simply persists and the launcher would be stuck in a loop. Some players attempted to reinstall the game or use the repair data facility in the launcher but neither of these proved to be successful workarounds. The patch sever needed to be bypassed to resolve the issue.
Two years ago I wrote a post about fine tuning your graphics in the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online. Apart from installing ReShade and using AMD Adrenalin, the options were somewhat limited, due to the game’s age and multiplayer status. Since then, I’ve been playing LOTRO with the game settings maxed out, a custom ReShade profile to make the colour palette more vivid and Radeon Image Sharpening enabled within the AMD software. The game looks clear, crisp and the draw distance is pretty good for an ageing game but I still wish the graphics could be tweaked further. Hence, I’ve been trawling the internet in a vain attempt to see if I can find any third party utilities that could be used to enhance LOTRO further. During the course of my search I stumbled across DLSS 5 Manager. This is an open-source, intelligent utility and one-click mod installer designed to inject and manage Nvidia's DLSS 5 neural rendering features, ReShade, and OptiScaler into PC games.
Are video games becoming easier? It’s a perennial subject that is frequently discussed by those who play them. Often the question of whether they have actually become easier is not the focus of the debate, as it seems to be broadly recognised that it is the case. Instead, discussion of this matter tend to drift into the rectitude of this change. Debate’s of this nature are usually awash with subjective opinions and personal preferences which are then put forward as objective facts. It’s not just a question of video games becoming easier, it’s the fact that making them easier is “wrong” and those who want them as such are “not proper gamers” etc. The hours that have been lost to this pointless, tedious debate are uncountable. However, I digress. Let us return to the matter of video games becoming easier, because although fans discuss this a lot and have plenty to say, you don’t often hear from the developers on this subject.
The next expansion for the MMORG, The Lord of the Rings Online, was announced on the 1st August, via the gaming website MMORPG.The Wolves of Mordor, which will launch later in the year, appears ambitious in scope as it will include two new game systems as well as the obligatory story update. This expansion takes place in Draugardh located in the North East of Mordor, beyond the Plateau of Gorgoroth. It includes the new zones of Heledhris, Parth Rhavas and Nan Ogol. These vary environmentally ranging from the arid, volcanic and semi-tropical. Players will encounter the Daugrim in these regions, Werewolves but not in the modern sense. This is not the lycanthropy of Eastern European legends but in the established Tolkien idiom of fell spirits inhabiting the bodies of Wolves. The region also sees the return of the Woses and players can expect to encounter Elves and scouts from Gondor. As ever with LOTRO expansions, there will be new instances as well as a raid.
I was recently perusing my archive of old blog posts, when it struck me how much I’ve written about the MMORPG genre over the years. Naturally, there was far more material from between 2008 and 2012 as that was period when I immersed myself in the genre and was very enthusiastic about it. I was at a point in my life when I had the time to dedicate to such games and I was happy to participate in the social aspect of they offered. I would regularly play through group content and spend time socialising online with fellow guild members. My experience remains a textbook example of how online games can be more than the sum of their parts and that where you are at in your life has a major impact upon your overall enjoyment. As I read though various old posts it became clear that my experiences where specific to this particular part of my life and that they cannot be repeated. My relationship with the genre is very different now and that’s fine.
Video games as a genre are extremely poor at explaining themselves. When you buy a new game you’ll often find little or no information regarding the basic systems and mechanics. The industry assumes that their customers are by default familiar with the fundamentals of playing a modern video game. Hence if a game has a tutorial, it is often based around videos rather than detailed verbal instructions. You are are briefly shown a clip of a specific move being successfully undertaken but it is seldom shown in a wider context. The industry also expects the fan community to take on the role of curating and disseminating information about its games. The move away from forums and bespoke websites to Discord highlights this. Discord is a primarily a real time communication tool and not good at maintaining a historical data archive. If you want an answer to a specific gaming question, you’ll more than likely find it on YouTube in a video made by a fellow gamer.
According to the recent “letter to the players”, Standing Stone Games will be adding a new zone to the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online in the second quarter of this year. Possibly around May or June. Having spent the last three expansions in the South of Middle-earth exploring the tropical Umbar and the deserts of Harad, I would certainly welcome a change of location. I have gradually warmed to these zones over the last eighteen months but I do find them so incongruous. They are so radically different to the European style content that has been the mainstay of the game for so long. Tolkien’s source text has plenty of detail regarding Eriador and Rhovanion. Information regarding Harad is scarce, hence it has afforded the developers a great deal of artistic freedom. Although exceedingly well realised these tropical zones have taken a while for me to get used to.
I’m not sure exactly when it started but I’ve recently noticed a graphical bug within the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online. This problem often occurs within caves or in areas where there are a lot of rocky surfaces. Hence it has become very apparent in the latest two expansions, set in Umbar and Harad. This graphical glitch causes some surface textures to appear to flash from light to dark intermittently. The resulting strobe effect is hard to ignore and very distracting. Fortunately, a quick online search showed that this is not a problem unique to my installation of LOTRO and is a known problem. Furthermore, there is a very simple workaround, which is to go into the Advanced Graphics setting and uncheck “Per Pixel Lighting”, which immediately remedies the problem. I have no idea why this has recently started to happen but at least it can be resolved.
The latest expansion for the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online, Kingdoms of Harad, launched on December 3rd. With this release the level cap was raised from 150 to 160. It should also be noted that the cap for virtue traits was also raised from 96 to 100. Naturally these changes meant that there is a requirement to replace all armour and jewellery once the new cap is reached. Similarly Legendary Items have to be reforged and any traceries upgraded or replaced. If you follow the Epic Story it will lead you from quest hub to quest hub. The main quest rewards, along with those from side quests will provide adequate gear as you slowly progress towards the new level cap. The new raids, instances and missions/delvings then provide a means to acquire higher quality level 160 gear. LOTRO and indeed, many other MMOs are consistent in this methodology.
It is customary in a post such as this to list the various games that I’ve played over the last twelve months and share my thoughts on them. Wider analysis of the video game industry is also de rigeur. Unfortunately, I don’t really feel disposed to do either of those two things. My thoughts on the games I’ve played have already been published and can easily be accessed via the links at the bottom of this post. As for the video game industry, it suffers the same flaws as music, TV and cinema. There is creativity and innovation out there but it is often drowned out by mainstream products which are demonstrably inferior due to their inherent mediocrity. As for the business side of things, we once again clearly see the failings of the corporate management class. Sadly, they do not face the consequences of the mistakes that they make.
Today Standing Stone Games began beta testing Update 46.1 for the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online. The current preview on the Bullroarer test server is mainly for the new instance cluster that comes with the Kingdoms of Harad expansion which launched a few weeks ago. However, it would appear that this latest preview has another feature or note. One that should please LOTRO players. Contrary to what a lot of people thought, myself included, SSG have been working on a scaling UI for 2K and 4K monitors and the results are now available for testing from today Monday 15th through to Friday 19th December. Until now the main workaround to the lack of UI scaling has been to use either Nvidia or AMD graphics software to upscale the game from 1920 x 1080, or a third party app such as LosslessScaling. Having an official solution is a far better option.
Kingdoms of Harad, the 13th expansion for the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online, was released today. Highlighting developer’s Standing Stone Games continuing commitment to this eighteen year old game. As 2025 draws to a close, I thought it would be prudent to reflect upon the current state of LOTRO and to consider what may come next year. Two words that I associated with this MMO are stable and consistent. The playerbase is loyal and dependable. Player numbers never greatly decline nor do they notably expand. LOTRO fills a very specific gaming niche and one of the reasons it retains its players is that there is no suitable alternative game. Although there is not a great deal of data in the public domain, it is generally accepted that LOTRO has an older player demographic and that many are consummate Tolkien fans.
The MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online runs on a broad spectrum of PCs. From archaic laptops to high end gaming rigs, although it may require a bit of tweaking. At present, the optimal way to play the MMO is at a resolution of 1920x1080 (FHD) with the graphics setting maxed out. The graphics are sharp and the UI is readable. However, a growing number of gamers are now using 2K and 4K monitors. You can play LOTRO at higher resolutions such as 2560×1440 (QHD) and 3840x2160 (UHD) and the game looks great. However, the UI does not scale and so is very small on 2K and 4K monitors. The skill icons on the quickslots (shortcut bars) and the in-game text become difficult to see at these resolutions, which deters some players from using them. It is a known issue that Standing Stone Games are attempting to address but it is unlikely to be resolved any time soon.
I recently read a post on Massively Overpowered about skills rotation in the MMORPG genre. I found the subsequent discussion in the comments fascinating. Mainly because I have never used a fixed rotation of skills in any of the MMORPGs that I play. I understand the reasoning behind such things and why some players want to optimise their combat performance. Using one’s skills in a specific order to maximise damage and manage their subsequent cooldown has a logical appeal. In Star Trek Online, some players go so far as to create keybinds for their rotations and assign it to a specific hotkey, which is then continuously pressed throughout combat. However, rotations are a blunt tool that lack flexibility, often being geared towards dealing with a single target or using an area of effect skill against a larger group. They may not be the optimal approach to combat when things do not go to plan.
Tolkien enthusiasts may recollect Athlon Games, a subsidiary of Leyou Technologies, announcing that it was developing a new MMORPG, based upon The Lord of the Rings, back in September 2018. The following summer, it was revealed that Amazon Game Studios was the partner developer for the project. In late 2020, Leyou Technologies (a Hong Kong-based company), was acquired by the Chinese conglomerate Tencent. This triggered a contract clause with the license holder, Middle-earth Enterprises, allowing them to terminate the existing arrangement if a new deal could not be met. Amazon and Tencent were unable to agree upon how to proceed with the project, leading Amazon to withdraw from negotiations. The project was subsequently scrapped. No details or images of the MMO have been released.
After a six month migration period, Standing Stone Games formally closed all their legacy 32-bit game servers for the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online, on the 31st August 2025. Despite this planned closure being widely discussed via the game’s official forums, professional video game websites and fan blogs, many LOTRO players were unaware of this deadline. Hence many were unable to migrate their respective alts to the new 64-bit servers. Naturally those affected by these closures were upset, especially those with longstanding characters who didn’t relish the prospect of starting from scratch with a new alt. Thankfully, SSG have been true to their word and as of today, have re-opened these “dark worlds” to character transfers. If you have an alt trapped on one of the older game worlds, then now is the time to use the transfer wizard and move them to a new active game world.
MMORPG announced earlier today and it was subsequently confirmed by Standing Stone games, that the new expansion for The Lord of the Rings Online will be Kingdoms of Harad and that it will launch later in the year. The expansion will see the conclusion of the epic Song of Waves and Wind storyline and the level cap raised from 150 to 160. There will be a new region to explore, Mûr Ghala, comprising four zones. Adagîm, Idagâl, An Shêru and Kighân. The latter contains the main trading hub of Zajâna. Players will travel into the region with Gandalf the White, along with allies of the Kindred of Coins and Mizadi as they seek to counter the regional power struggle brought about by the fall of Sauron. Canonically, this takes place three months after the destruction of the ring, hence King Elessar and Eomer are busy with domestic affairs in their respective kingdoms.
Skirmishes were added to the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online, in 2009 with the release of the Siege of Mirkwood expansion. Skirmishes are a repeatable and scalable combat system that allows players to access various instances for solo or group play from anywhere in the in-game world. Players can choose a Skirmish Soldier from a variety of classes to accompany them and provide healing, tank or additional DPS. On paper it’s a great system which is why many other MMOs offer something similar. I recently decided to tinker with my Skirmish Soldier build on my main character to see if I could optimise their performance. As my primary alt is a Lore-master, for the last few years I have had a Warrior as their Skirmish Soldier, to take some of the aggro from attacking mobs. I used the excellent guide by FibroJedi and swapped over a few Training and Personal Traits.
On 2nd August 2025, I was playing the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online, on my primary character, a level cap Lore-master. I decided to continue with one of the Allegiance Quest lines, specifically Durin’s Folk. I played through several quests and earned the appropriate tokens that advance the Allegiance system. I then handed these in to the NPC in the Hall Under the Mountain, expecting the next quest in the series “Chapter 3: Gimli’s Request” to be unlocked. An item appeared in my inventory that I then clicked on, which should have bestowed the quest. Unfortunately, nothing happened. Furthermore, the item vanished from my bag and therefore I could not attempt to click it again. I checked the LOTRO Wiki and then looked around the Hall Under the Mountain to see if any NPC had a ring icon above their head. As they did not, I surmised that this was a software glitch and logged a support ticket with Standing Stone Games.
Let’s start with a quote from a classic Walter Hill film, The Warriors. “Can you count, suckers?” says Sirus. The gang leader was referring to the number of Police in New York City at the time. Whereas, for the purpose of this post, I am referencing how many Delving Writs a player needs to acquire 6 pieces of level cap armour in LOTRO. Because, next to the gear you get from endgame instances and raids, Delving gear is a good alternative.. It is marginally better than the items you can get from lootboxes. Hence, Delving armour is a good source of high end gear for the solo player. Through the miracle of mathematics, the number of Delving writs required to acquire a full set of this armour is 9,000. At first glance, that seems like a lot. If you then do some further research to put the number in context, you realise it is indeed a lot and a substantial undertaking.
I am currently enjoying a renewed interest in the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online since I migrated all my characters from the old 32-bit servers to the new 64-bit replacements. I’ve created a new High Elf Lore-master on Peregrin server and am currently levelling them in a targeted play through of the Epic Story, supplemented by curated side quests. While playing recently, I realised the game UI on this alt wasn’t as I usually have it laid out. So I checked through the various documents on my PC and found a text file I had created many years ago that had a few hints and tips written down. I’ve added a few more and decided to share them as a blog post. I’m sure veteran players will be familiar with many of them but a lot of them are worth repeating. They may prove useful to those new to LOTRO or returning to the game after a long hiatus.
In mid-March, while the server migration debacle raged, I created a new alt for the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online, on Peregrin server. The idea was to play casually through content focusing on enjoyment, rather than worrying about progression. I was to level at a pace that suited me and had no specific plans to develop my alt in any particular way. I have been playing LOTRO since 2008 and have a primary level-cap character that has been my main focus over the years. Hence I have previously experienced all story content from all the expansions and am therefore very familiar with what the game has to offer. Which is why I thought I’d do things differently this time. So I started my new Lore-master in Mossward in Swanfleet, the new starting area added to the game in 2022.
In massively multiplayer online games (MMOs), alts (short for alternate characters), are new characters created by a player in addition to their primary character (often called the “main”). Alts are often encouraged by developers as a means to keep players engaged with their game(s). Sometimes an MMO will actively reward the creation of alts either with access to exclusive content, or with additional skills or items previously unlocked by primary characters. As the myth that an MMO really begins at endgame still persists in gaming culture, some games sell boosts that will instantly raise the level of an alt to that of the current level cap. Creating alts is such a key aspect of the MMO genre, that some games will sell additional character slots, so that players can create further alts beyond the default amount allowed. There are many reasons why players create alts. Let us consider some.
Needful Things: Extended TV Cut (1993)
Fraser C. Heston’s 1993 adaptation of Stephen King’s Needful Things did not fare well upon release. Despite having a robust cast of character actors and good production values, it was neither a critical nor commercial success. In more recent years there has been a growing critical reassessment of the film and its lack of success has mainly been attributed to audience fatigue. The eighties and nineties saw a wealth of King adaptations on both the big and small screen. It is also worth noting that condensing the sprawling and character filled books of Stephen King is an incredibly difficult thing to achieve within the parameters of a two hour movie. Which is why the TV miniseries has often proved a more successful format. Which brings me to the extended version of Needful Things that was prepared for television shortly after its theatrical release.
Fraser C. Heston’s 1993 adaptation of Stephen King’s Needful Things did not fare well upon release. Despite having a robust cast of character actors and good production values, it was neither a critical nor commercial success. In more recent years there has been a growing critical reassessment of the film and its lack of success has mainly been attributed to audience fatigue. The eighties and nineties saw a wealth of King adaptations on both the big and small screen. It is also worth noting that condensing the sprawling and character filled books of Stephen King is an incredibly difficult thing to achieve within the parameters of a two hour movie. Which is why the TV miniseries has often proved a more successful format. Which brings me to the extended version of Needful Things that was prepared for television shortly after its theatrical release.
The plot of Needful Things is straightforward. A new antique shop opens in the quiet coastal town of Castle Rock and its charismatic owner, Leland Gaunt (Max von Sydow) has an uncanny ability of discerning his customer needs and providing them with some item that is their heart’s desire. Yet these transactions are often dependent upon a “small service” to be carried out and it is not long before the seeds of discontent are sowed in Castle Rock. As arguments become feuds and feuds end in murder, Sheriff Alan J. Pangborn (Ed Harris) becomes increasingly suspicious of Leland Gaunt and his shop “Needful Things”. As ever with Stephen King, the literary strength of this story stems from the plausibility of his characters and the credibility of small town life that he depicts. These sumptuous details that exist on the page usually have to be cut to the bone when adapting for film. It certainly was a criticism levelled at the theatrical release of Needful Things.
However, shortly after a disappointing box office release, Cable TV network TBS commissioned distributor Columbia Pictures and director Fraser C. Heston to create a longer miniseries edit of three hours, that could air in a four-hour TV time slot with commercial breaks. Hence an hour of previously unused material was added back into the film which mainly extends or appends existing scenes. We see far more of the relationship between Sheriff Pangborn and his fiance, Polly Chalmers (Bonnie Bedelia). There is more exposition of Leland Gaunt manipulating young Brian Rusk (Shane Meier) and the feud between Wilma Jerzyck (Valri Bromfield) and Nettie Cobb (Amanda Plummer) goes through several stages of escalation before ending in murder. The most standout new material is an entire subplot about Cora Rusk (Lisa Blount) who becomes infatuated with a bust of Elvis Presley.
Director Fraser C. Heston integrates the new material skillfully into the extended TV cut subtly changing the pacing and making this version of Needful Things a much slower burn. It remains very much Max von Sydow’s film and the atmosphere increases noticeably when he is on screen. His performance is effortlessly sinister and charming. As this was a version prepared for nineties television there have been some concessions made to that medium. Some profanity has been replaced with alternative, less extreme dialogue but the violence from the theatrical edit remains. The extended TV cut is also presented in an aspect ratio of 4:3 to fit the television sets of the time. Fraser C. Heston has stated that this longer edit is not a director's cut and that he prefers the theatrical edit. Although still flawed, it certainly provides an alternate take on one of Stephen King’s best stories.
College Professor Peter Proud (Michael Sarrazin) has a recurring dream about a man swimming on a lake late at night. A woman named Marcia (Margot Kidder) paddles a small boat out to meet him. As the man tries to climb aboard, Marcia hits him with an oar and he drowns. Perplexed and disturbed, Peter approaches Doctor Sam Goodman (Paul Hecht) who is conducting research into sleep at the College. He conducts several tests which prove that Peter’s experiences are not registering as dreams. The Doctor suggests that they’re hallucinations but Peter theorises that they may be memories of a past life. A chance viewing of a TV documentary about Massachusetts, triggers further memories, so Peter decides to go an investigate. He subsequently learns that the man in his visions is a former Tennis coach, Jeff Curtis, who died in the late 1940s under mysterious circumstances. Is Peter the reincarnation of this man? If so, didn’t he have a daughter, Ann (Jennifer O’Neil). Furthermore is Marcia, Ann’s mother, still alive?
In the year 1860, Baron Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing) faces execution by guillotine for the murders perpetrated by the creature he created. With the assistance of a hunchback named Karl (Oscar Quitak) he avoids death by beheading the priest who came to give him the last rites. The priest’s body is then mistakenly buried by the authorities. Three years later, Victor, now using the name Doctor Stein, has established himself as a prosperous physician in Karlsbrück, serving both affluent patients and the poor at a paupers’ hospital. Hans Kleve (Francis Matthews), a junior member of the medical council, recognises Victor and being an admirer, seeks to become his apprentice. Victor and Hans then undertake an experiment to transplant Karl’s living brain into a new, more refined body, rather than a grotesque monstrosity the Baron has previously made. Karl is eager to have a new healthy body, especially after encountering Margaret Conrad (Eunice Gayson), the charming new assistant at the hospital.
Exit 8 is a sophisticated and claustrophobic psychological thriller directed by Genki Kawamura, which skilfully transforms a minimalist indie walking-simulator game into a cinematic existential enigma. This overtly metaphorical film renders the repetitive nature and drudgery of modern working life into a physical environment in which the lead character is trapped and must find a way out. A random, brutal maze filled with an atmosphere of indifference to the lab rats that find themselves trapped within. Or is it their personal guilt that has put them there? Genki Kawamura’s psychological mystery draws inspiration from the Japanese video game of the same name, as well as from the cyclical nature of Groundhog Day and endless corridors of the Overlook Hotel in Kubrick’s The Shining. Although there are jump scares and some ghoulish imagery, this is not a horror vehicle. Instead this is a disquieting psychological drama with a strong sense of morality.
In 1968 the dilapidated freighter Corita hastily leaves Freetown to avoid a customs inspection. Captain Lansen (Eric Porter) has a cargo of dangerous explosives which he is smuggling so he can finally retire. His ship’s passengers also have reasons for leaving in a hurry. Dr. Webster (Nigel Stock), together with his daughter Unity (Suzanna leigh), is relocating due to his indiscretions with patients and illegal operations. Alcoholic pianist Harry Tyler (Tony Beckley) is aimlessly drifting from port to port. Eva Peters (Hildegard Knef) is fleeing from her husband with stolen bearer bonds which she intend to use to buy back her son from his evil clutches Caracas. Ricaldi (Ben Carruthers), a questionable lawyer, is pursuing Eva to retrieve the stolen bonds. First officer Hemmings (Neil McCallum) suggests that the ship should return to Freetown after an imminent Hurricane warning. The Captain asks the passengers and they are unanimous that they do not wish to return. However a mutinous crew, the bad weather and the instability of the explosives force everyone to abandon ship. The survivors find themselves adrift in a lifeboat surrounded by a strange carnivorous seaweed.
David Koepp is no stranger to genre cinema, having written the screenplay for such films as Jurassic Park, Spider-man and War of the Worlds. Where these titles are big budget, major studio productions, Cold Storage is a far more modest production with a smaller scope. Adapted from his own novel, the screenplay is by David Koepp and the film is directed by British film-maker Jonny Campbell. At first glance, Cold Storage seems a somewhat derivative science fiction horror film with a relatively modest budget, financed through a convoluted US and French co-production. Lurid green and red colours feature heavily in the marketing artwork and it is easy, after a cursory look, to write the film off as cheap, generic, direct-to-streaming filler. However, Cold Storage is prime example of why you should not judge a book by it’s cover, or in this case, a film by its posters and online advertising. It is in fact an amusing and fun endeavour that can fill an evening.
Despite being considered by many as an original story, The Abominable Snowman (1957) is in fact a remake of a made for television play, The Creature, that was originally broadcast in the UK in 1955. Hammer Films would often purchase the rights of popular TV programs and subsequently re-work them for mainstream, international cinema. Larger production budgets and fewer censorship restrictions allowed them to make their cinematic interpretations more lurid, thus commercially viable. Hence The Quatermass Xperiment, Quatermass II and Quatermass and the Pit were all given a big screen makeover and were commercially successful. The Abominable Snowman was written by acclaimed writer Nigel Kneale, who also wrote the original television drama and the aforementioned Quatermass trilogy. Although ostensibly marketed as a horror film this production is actually an interesting blend of psychological thriller and science fiction.
The Haunted Dolls House is a short film based on a story by M.R. James about a unique antique that is subject to supernatural phenomenon. Adapted by Stephen Gray and David Lilley, this is the third of three short films based upon James’ work that the pair have made. It stars Steven Dolton as Mr. Dillet, a collector of antique dolls houses, who acquires a bargain only to discover that it harbours a ghostly secret. Made on an extremely modest budget over the course of 2012 this clever, innovative and rather sinister adaptation is a fine example of short film creativity. It manages to offer a unique visual depiction of M.R. James’ classic story whilst capturing the unsettling quality of the author’s work. Like so many independently made short films it is clearly a labour of love, made with modest resources. It succinctly captures the spirit of the author’s work and is both innovative and rewarding.
A lot of people may know Luke Evans from the live action version of Beauty and the Beast or Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit trilogy. With his matinee idol good looks, charming Welsh demeanour and his “smoky” tenor singing voice, he projects a sense of old school stardom. Which brings us to No One Lives; a film which is a radical departure from his previous work. His performance is disconcerting to say the least and the film is somewhat unhinged. Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, who made an interesting adaptation of Clive Barker’s The Midnight Meat Train, this cinematic outing is similarly replete with robust shocks and gore. There are some interesting ideas about the nature of violence, Stockholm Syndrome and whether one should deny or embrace one’s nature. However, these are ultimately minor asides. Philosophical musings in between bouts of surprisingly striking unpleasantness.
In the near future, Kepler 822, a research and drilling facility located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, suffers a sudden and catastrophic structural failure. There are only six survivors. Mechanical engineer Norah Price (Kristen Stewart), Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel), biologist Emily Haversham (Jessica Henwick), engineer Liam Smith (John Gallagher Jr.) and crew members Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie) and Paul (T.J. Miller). As all the functional escape pods have been used and they are unable to contact the surface, the Captain suggests using pressurized suits to walk one mile across the ocean floor to the Roebuck 641 drill installation. There they will find more escape pods. However, it soon becomes apparent that the disaster was not caused by an undersea earthquake and that they are not alone as they make their journey.
In Buenos Aires, Clara (Natalia Señorales) hears voices emanating from the plughole in her kitchen sink. The voices seem to be plotting against her. Her husband Juan (Agustín Rittano) says the sounds are coming from next door. That night, Juan finds Clara’s dead body levitating in their bathroom, slamming against the wall by an invisible force. Meanwhile their neighbour, Walter (Demián Salomón), is experiencing supernatural occurrences while he tries to sleep. An invisible force repeatedly shakes his bed. After using a video camera to film these events, he sees a tall, cadaverous figure emerging from under the bed, standing over him as he sleeps. Across the road, Alicia (Julieta Vallina) is grieving for her recently deceased son, who was run over outside Walter’s house. Alicia's ex-boyfriend, police commissioner Funes (Maximiliano Ghione) calls Jano (Norberto Gonzalo), a paranormal investigator and the pair soon discover more supernatural occurrences in the area.
Black Sabbath (AKA I tre volti della paura) is a 1963 horror anthology film directed by Mario Bava. Although an Italian production, the film was co-financed by American International Pictures and as such was conceived to appeal to US audiences. Hence, the English dialogue edit of the film which was released in America differs significantly to the original Italian version. Despite the presence of the legendary Boris Karloff and the popularity of both anthology and gothic horror at the time,the film was only a modest success at the US box office and did not do well in Italy. However, in more recent years there has been a critical reappraisal of Black Sabbath, especially the Italian dialogue version. Many aspects of the film which are standard genre tropes today, were in fact novel at the time. Also despite the production mainly being studio bound, the film oozes style and has a striking visual aesthetic.
During 1836, in the town of Darkness Falls, Maine, an elderly widow Matilda Dixon is adored by the town’s children as she gives them a gold coin whenever they lose a tooth. One day, after a house fire, Matilda is left burned and sensitive to sunlight, so she starts wearing a china mask. When two children are reported missing, Matilda is blamed by some locals, dragged from her home and hung. She curses the town, stating that whenever a child loses their last tooth, she would come for it. If the child looks at her, she will kill them. The missing children are subsequently found, so the citizens cover up their unjust lynching. In 1990, young Kyle Walsh awakes one night to find Matilda Walsh standing over him. Kyle’s mother is killed and he is blamed for her death and institutionalised. 12 years later, Kyle (Channey Kley) is released and tries to warn the town of the imminent danger when lightning disables the power supply. He is ignored by all until the deaths begin.
Osgood Perkins has a distinct visual style and tone to his films. It is why his previous film, Longlegs, was such a welcome change from standard genre outings. It was atmospheric both visually and tonally, demonstrating a keen understanding of horror cinema. Hence he is the perfect director to helm this adaptation of a Stephen King short story. The plot is greatly expanded and the screenplay takes a lot of liberties with the source material but the main themes of your past being inescapable and the power of guilt remain front and centre. Due to the extreme and bizarre nature of much of the onscreen deaths, the film wisely has a strong streak of gallows humour running through it which is extremely well handled. Comedy can often be used to defuse or mitigate violence which can be narratively dishonest (think Fred Krueger). Here it adds to the cruel and capricious nature of the random deaths.
When reviewing Sting, one critic stated that the small scale setting and thus, low stakes (IE only a few peoples lives are at risk), made the film not especially memorable. I consider this to be a somewhat spurious criticism. It is the very fact that Sting takes place in such a commonplace environment, with the main characters being everyday people that makes it different. There is a clear focus on well defined characters and their backstory. Unlike so many contemporary films, I actually gave a damn about the protagonists in Sting. An integral aspect of the horror genre is the ability to take a well known and familiar trope and provide a different and absorbing spin on it .It would appear that some audiences have been belaboured over the head by so many overblown and bombastic blockbusters, that the very notion of depicting small, localised and intimate events in a film, seems to bamboozle them.
Some films are made with the intention of starting a franchise, others evolve into one after a surprise box office success and lucrative sequels. Alien (1979) falls into the latter category. A mid-budget science fiction horror film that was well crafted and then benefited immensely by being released at just the right time. Sadly, many franchises become derailed and enter into a death spiral due to competing artistic visions, cynical studio politics and cinematic ignorance. This has certainly afflicted all subsequent Alien films after James Cameron’s magnificent Aliens (1986). Sometimes, a franchise can correct its course and do something fresh with the source material. Prey (2022) is a fine example of this with director Dan Trachtenberg bringing fresh vigour and intelligence back to the Predator movies. I believe that was the intention with Alien Romulus (2024). Sadly, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is a popular entry among fans of the franchise. This is mainly due to the return of makeup artist, Tom Savini, who creates several notable death scenes and a bravura ending for Jason Voorhees. There is also an attempt by writer Barney Cohen to have a more involving story compared to previous entries in the series. Director Joseph Zito, who previously directed the above average slasher movie The Prowler AKA Rosemary’s Killer (1981), brings a harder edge to the proceedings, making Jason more menacing than in the previous instalment. As ever, the film was dismissed by the critics but performed well at the box office. Producer Frank Mancuso Jr fully intended for this film to be a definitive end to the series, as he was becoming increasingly concerned that his association with the franchise was having a negative impact upon his career.
Set directly after the events of the previous film, Friday the 13th Part III is again about a group of friends staying near Crystal Lake who encounter Jason Voorhees as he embarks upon another killing spree. Shot in 3D the film has a less sleazy tone than its predecessors although the formula remains the same. The set pieces and death scenes are more elaborate and less clinical, taking advantage of the 3D picture format. The film marks the first appearance of Jason's signature hockey mask, which subsequently became a trademark of both the character and the franchise. Originally conceived to be an end to the series of films, Friday the 13th Part III performed extremely well at the box office, earning $36.7 million on a budget of $2.2 million. As a result, the franchise was given a stay of execution and a further sequel was commissioned.
Originally, Friday the 13th Part 2 was intended to be an anthology film based on the superstition associated with the date. However, after the popularity of the original film's surprise ending, the producers opted to continue the story and mythology surrounding Camp Crystal Lake. This eventually became the parameters which all future films would broadly work within. Friday the 13th Part 2 is a more polished production than the first movie, benefitting from twice the budget of the original. The quick turnaround meant that Paramount Pictures could continue to capitalise on the popularity of the slasher genre. However, there was growing social pushback against these types of films, from Christian lobby groups and other “concerned parties”. Hence, Friday the 13th Part 2 ran into problems with the MPAA ratings board and cuts were imposed. Something that would continuously plague the franchise over the years.
Writing any kind of review for the original Friday the 13th movie seems somewhat redundant, as it has been analysed and written about numerous times before. If you’re interested in the film’s production as well as its subsequent impact on US cinema at the time, then there is an excellent summary on Wikipedia. Having recently rewatched the entire franchise, courtesy of the Shout Factory’s Friday the 13th Collection Deluxe Edition, I have a few thoughts I’d like to share. The picture quality of all the films is very good, offering a lot more visual information compared to previous releases. The amount of “extras” included in the box set is prodigious. I suspect that these are the best versions that we’re ever likely to see. Fans hoping that one day all the cut footage will be found and re-integrated into each film are likely to remain disappointed. Some material has surfaced but sadly a lot of deleted and extended scenes have been destroyed.
George A. Romero's Day Of The Dead (1985) is a bleak and remorseless masterpiece. The final entry in his “Dead Trilogy”, its central theme is that in a world on the brink of destruction, man is still the biggest threat to his own existence. It is well scripted, clinically accurate in its observations on human nature and thought provoking, despite having its budget cut just weeks before production commenced. 40 years later it is revered as a genre milestone and is considered one of Romero’s finest works. Sadly, the 2008 “remake” directed by Steve Miner, who has a background in slasher and exploitation movies, takes a contrasting approach, to say the least. It certainly has very little to do with Romero’s film and one can’t help but assume that it is nothing more than a cynical cash in. Setting aside comparisons with the original, this is not in any way a standout zombie film in its own right.
Although I was unaware of it, there was a guerrilla marketing campaign for Longlegs which was focused on the internet rather than traditional television adverts. Hence the film gained a lot of interest prior to its release and as well as some some disproportionate expectations. Then immediately after its theatrical debut, the matter was further compounded by a possible excess of gushing praise as the film was “over reviewed”. Therefore I maintained a degree of scepticism about Longlegs and tempered my expectations prior to watching it. Any film that is hailed as the next Silence of the Lambs, featuring a “traumatising” performance by Nicholas Cage needs to be keenly scrutinised so that its cinematic merits can be carefully separated from the surrounding hyperbole. After viewing I found Longlegs to be a finely honed, atmospheric and precisely targeted horror thriller but not the genre milestone that some would claim.
As a rule, it is always a challenge to end a trilogy of films successfully. Writing a satisfying denouement to a standalone movie is hard enough. To be able to conclude all pertinent story arcs and themes that have been sustained over three feature films, to everyone’s liking is far harder to achieve. In the case of The Final Conflict (1981), the last instalment of The Omen trilogy, writer Andrew Birkin does manage to resolve all of the external, internal and philosophical stakes, which are the fundamental components of a cinematic screenplay. Unfortunately, it is done in an incredibly underwhelming manner, which left audiences feeling cheated. The last time good defeated evil evil in such an unspectacular fashion was in Hammer’s To the Devil a Daughter (1976). This is why, in spite of solid production values, The Final Conflict is the least popular of the films about the Antichrist, Damien Thorn.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a film that often provokes a strong reaction from genre fans. This is mainly due to it not having any direct connection to the previous two films. The absence of Michael Myers in such a franchise was a serious mistake and the subsequent poor box office returns endorsed this. Yet if this film had been released as a separate product it may not have performed so poorly. After re-examining Halloween III: Season of the Witch there are many aspects of interest. Despite a troubled production, the film is an intriguing anomaly that tried to be different during a decade where the established horror formula was “stalk n' slash”. It does have a very bleak tone and some consider it to be mean spirited as the cast are killed off one by one. Perhaps theme of child sacrifice caused audiences to balk?
Ghostwatch is a controversial British horror “mockumentary” produced by the BBC that was first broadcast on October 31st 1992. Written by Stephen Volk and produced by Ruth Baumgarten it is now considered a milestone in UK broadcasting. This was mainly due to the strong reaction it provoked from the public, many of whom failed to grasp that it was a drama. At the time it raised serious questions about responsible programming and caused a furore in the British press. It has curiously never been shown since by the BBC. Ghostwatch remains a talking point to this day and is a text book example of the power of television as well as the publics enduring belief in the supernatural.
Event Horizon is a curious movie hybrid, mixing plot elements from classic sci-fi and horror genres. It has been labelled “Hellraiser in Space” by some lazy critics, although I think there's far more to it than that. Perhaps a more apt description would be a Gothic horror story set in space. The movie has garnered a cult reputation since its release in 1997, mainly due to its graphic imagery and troubled production history. It does indeed have some quite shocking sequences but the lightning editing does not show as much as some would think. Paramount forced director Paul W S Anderson to reduce the original one hundred and thirty minute running time down to a more manageable ninety, after unfavourable test screenings. Much of the violence was allegedly removed as a result of that process. Sadly nothing survives of the removed material other than a VHS workprint. Hence a restored director’s cut is therefore unlikely.
The peace of tranquillity of Santa Ynes, Utah, is shattered when the town becomes the focus of several hit and run deaths, by a mysterious and apparently driverless, black car. After the Sheriff (John Marley) is run down, it is down to Captain Wade Parent (James Brolin) and his deputies to protect the town from this sinister threat. Is the car simply a driven by a mad man or is there a more supernatural explanation? When the car menaces a local school marching band, the teachers and students take refuge in the nearby cemetery. Does the cars inability to enter consecrated ground provide a clue to its otherworldly origins and offer a potential solution? As the death count increases and the population becomes more fearful, the Captain and his team of deputies form a desperate plan to see if they can lure the car into a trap.
The key to success in the horror genre is to try and find an innovative new angle on tried and tested themes and tropes. The Night Flier is an often-overlooked gem, that takes a unique perspective on vampirism and features strong performances as well as an intelligent and thoughtful screenplay. It builds a sense of foreboding during it’s first two acts and teases audiences with some unpleasant prosthetic effects, courtesy of KNB EFX Group. The climax of the movie is both thought provoking and suitably unpleasant. Furthermore, The Night Flier even manages to make a coherent criticism of tabloid culture and morals of those journalists working in the industry. It’s a damn shame that this modest but well-crafted genre movie didn’t get the attention it deserved when it was initially released in 1997.
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors was the first portmanteau horror movie by Amicus Productions. The small British studio was founded by producers and screenwriters Milton Subotsky and Max Rosenberg. As the horror genre grew in popularity due to the success of Hammer films, Amicus saw the potential in the portmanteau format. Subotsky in particular held Ealing Studios 1945 classic Dead of Night in very high regard. Although only a modest budget movie, Dr. Terror's House of Horrors proved to be financially successful and led to a series of similarly structured films over the next decade. These included Torture Garden (1967), The House That Dripped Blood (1970), Asylum (1972), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), From Beyond the Grave (1974),
London
You would think that writing about London would be easy. It’s the capital of the United Kingdom after all. However, like so many things in life the devil is in the detail. London is a more complex beast. For example you have the City of London that is the ceremonial county and local government district. Nowadays the City of London is mainly used in reference to the central business district that resides there, similar to Wall Street in the US. Then you have London as it exists within the tourist industry, which encompasses the Borough of Westminster and such iconic attractions as Buckingham Palace, The UK Parliament and Tower Bridge. However, for the benefit of this post, I shall be using the term Greater London. It contains thirty two London Boroughs and is governed by The Greater London Authority. If this is still confusing, then this area is surrounded by the M25 London orbital Motorway. Anywhere inside that area is considered Greater London.
You would think that writing about London would be easy. It’s the capital of the United Kingdom after all. However, like so many things in life the devil is in the detail. London is a more complex beast. For example you have the City of London that is the ceremonial county and local government district. Nowadays the City of London is mainly used in reference to the central business district that resides there, similar to Wall Street in the US. Then you have London as it exists within the tourist industry, which encompasses the Borough of Westminster and such iconic attractions as Buckingham Palace, The UK Parliament and Tower Bridge. However, for the benefit of this post, I shall be using the term Greater London. It contains thirty two London Boroughs and is governed by The Greater London Authority. If this is still confusing, then this area is surrounded by the M25 London orbital Motorway. Anywhere inside that area is considered Greater London.
According to Wikipedia, Greater London has an area of 1,569 km2 (606 sq mi) and a population of 8,889,375. Over time the various towns and villages have grown and expanded to the point where the entire area is almost entirely urbanised. I live in Sidcup in the south east of Greater London. Bexleyheath, Chislehurst and Bromley are neighbouring districts but if you drive through all these areas, there are no obvious lines of demarcation. Such divisions exist only on maps or manifest in themselves more esoterically via the price of housing. Although Greater London is an expansive urban area, the density of population varies throughout and outlying suburban areas are less hectic. Despite the expanse of housing, Greater London has a substantial amount of parks and areas of natural outstanding beauty. The river Thames flows from west to east through the middle of Greater London.
Greater London in many respects can be considered a city state and certainly is unique in comparison to other UK cities. It is the centre of the UK’s wealth, political power and culture. Greater London is home to 12.5% of the UK population and creates 22% of the country’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP). Roughly £500 billion a year. Greater London has an allegedly educated population with 60% of workers having a degree. It is also a very multicultural and diverse place. Over 300 different languages are spoken and there are cultural influences from around the world. All of which, when added to the history and pageantry associated with the capital, contribute to making Greater London an exciting and vibrant place. If you are seeking entertainment, culture, the arts, good food, open spaces or just to explore a place that is simultaneously modern as well as old, then Greater London can offer it all.
Although I genuinely believe all these positive things about Greater London, it is a very polarised place. Wealth is far from spread equally with rich boroughs residing next door with the most deprived. Property prices are very high and as the population increases, insufficient new housing is being built. Despite having a very efficient public transport system, Greater London still struggles to deal with the daily commute as workers travel from the suburbs to the city centre. There is increasing demand upon all local resources, such as roads, schools and hospitals. Life expectations and healthcare is not consistent across the various boroughs and it all comes down to wealth. Plus where there is poverty, there is more crime. Aside from these weighty issues, there are smaller concerns that can also change your perspective. Every part of Greater London is getting busier. The growth in population in the outlying suburban areas means more cars, more congestion and more noise.
The problems confronting Greater London are far from unique. Most major cities in the UK and possibly Europe face the same issues. There never seems to be a comprehensive plan to deal and facilitate inevitable growth. I travel up to central London two or three times a year and although I always enjoy myself, I am always amazed by the sheer number of people going about their business. Yet for some, it is that very quality that they find invigorating. The hustle and bustle of the city and its nightlife are part of its allure. Which is why I was happy to work and play in central London 20 years ago. Age, however, changes one’s perspective. As a result, I am beginning to tire of the excessive traffic in my own street. The ambient noise produced by so many people that persist wells into the night. The delays that incur when trying to get a doctor’s appointment. Again I return to the possibility of moving out of Greater London and finding a new home in a more rural setting. Time will tell.
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
Listening to Music
The following is about a cultural change. That is not to say that it’s a value judgement or one of those posts you so frequently read by bloggers of a certain age, that essentially boil down to “things were better in my day”. It is merely an observation and like all observations it is not 100% universal. There will always be exceptions to the rule. I am simply painting with broad strokes a general truism for your consideration. My point being that people listen, experience and enjoy music differently these days compared to how they did three to four decades ago. I’m not talking about the science of hearing or anything complex like that. I am merely highlighting the change in the way we choose to experience music and how that has an impact upon its creation and presentation. So like Anne Elk, presenting her theory on the Brontosaurus, here is the axiom at the heart of this post.
The following is about a cultural change. That is not to say that it’s a value judgement or one of those posts you so frequently read by bloggers of a certain age, that essentially boil down to “things were better in my day”. It is merely an observation and like all observations it is not 100% universal. There will always be exceptions to the rule. I am simply painting with broad strokes a general truism for your consideration. My point being that people listen, experience and enjoy music differently these days compared to how they did three to four decades ago. I’m not talking about the science of hearing or anything complex like that. I am merely highlighting the change in the way we choose to experience music and how that has an impact upon its creation and presentation. So like Anne Elk, presenting her theory on the Brontosaurus, here is the axiom at the heart of this post.
Most people no longer listen to an album by a band or artist, in its designated order. Assuming that they listen to an album in its entirety at all. Most people curate their own playlists nowadays, drawing from multiple sources. They cherry pick the music they like and ignore those tracks they deem just average or worse. Hence the idea of listening to an album from start to finish is to a degree, obsolete. Perhaps the idea of the album itself is equally anachronistic. All of which pretty much negates the existence of the concept album. These changes in the way we listen to (or should I say consume) music has also had an impact upon radio stations and especially upon the relevance of the traditional notion of the DJ. All of which was brought home to me today, when I decided to listen to the 1976 synth-based ambient album Oxygène by Jean Michel Jarre. Something I last listened to about forty years ago.
Originally created as a concept album (“an album whose tracks hold a larger purpose or meaning collectively than they do individually” according to Wikipedia), Oxygène was intended to be listened to continuously for 40 minutes, playing the tracks in chronological order. Naturally, the nature of vinyl recordings and playback greatly governed this habit. The idea was to not only enjoy each specific piece of music but to see them as an interconnected whole that conveyed a wider message. The concept album was a means of bridging the gap between popular music genres and more formal musical compositions, by applying concepts used by the classics. This could be a common or recurring motif, an operatic structure or just a semblance of a narrative structure in the various lyrics. The definition of the concept album is purposely vague, yet you’ll know one if you hear one.
Based upon my own experience, I started my love affair with popular music in the early eighties and on into the late nineties. Like so many others, my teenage years were defined by a need to find some sort of identity and that was often linked to the music you liked and its associated culture. Fortunately, although there were specific genres that I liked, I was happy to explore others and have maintained this philosophy all my life. However, back then in the eighties, there were less distractions and demands upon our leisure time.Therefore, when I listened to music, I was not doing anything else at the time. I was focused upon listening and digesting what I heard. It required a degree of application that rewarded you in a different way to casual listening.
It is also worth noting that some albums were created to be listened to in a specific way. There is a clear arc to the track listing on The Beatles Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Pink Floyd’s The Wall. Naturally, the listener is not bound by such notions and is free to ignore such things if they wish. But it does raise the question, that by listening to the songs out of order and context, do you diminish the musician's artistic vision? However, if you have grown up in a world where such habits as just listening to music and doing so in a linear fashion aren’t the norm, it probably seems all rather alien. Amazon Music has embraced the random playlist concept to such a degree, it won’t play an album in order, even if you own it. For many people, the old fashioned notion of an album has been replaced by exchanging or downloading carefully curated playlists. It could be argued that such things are conceptual in principle themselves.
We all have our own unique relationship with music, especially that we enjoy in our most formative years. For some, it is an integral aspect of their life, identity and the way in which they process the world. For others, to paraphrase Karl Pilkington “music is just something to sing along to” while you do something else. It is disposable and no more than the sum of its parts. Whatever your perspective, we all “do” music differently these days. The fact that the very term “listening” seems to have been replaced with “consume” implies a radical change in perception. As does the way so many of us experience the music we like. In our own, niche online communities, oblivious and indifferent to anything that is not within the confines of our taste. Whether any of these points mean anything or not, you’ll have to decide for yourself. Maybe we’ve become liberated, as opposed to having lost something. Perhaps nothing has changed at all. Regardless, I still enjoyed spending 40 minutes listening to Oxygène today.
I find the concept of in-game radio stations fascinating. They’re an enjoyable aspect of open world video games and I have discovered several artists this way. They’re certainly a big deal as far as Rockstar Games are concerned, because the music selected for GTA VI is another important facet of the overall marketing campaign. So far, between two trailers and the sprawling extended look on Netflix, it has been determined that Tom Petty, the Pointer Sisters, Sexyy Red, Depeche Mode, Phil Collins, Birdman, Lil Wayne and the Bellamy Brothers are all part of the game soundtrack. That’s a very eclectic selection so far. Furthermore, there will be a 34 track album released on physical media (vinyl and CD) in conjunction with Atlantic Records.
Song lyrics can be powerful things. They can capture the mood and spirit of an era. They can also make powerful socio-political points. Or they can simply be pleasing to the listener by their use of language and playfulness. They can stick in your mind for both deep and trivial reasons. Mishearing them is also a common problem but that is a separate blog post. On this occasion I thought it would be worthwhile exploring the subject of song lyrics of note. Hence I have collated some that I find interesting, wise or just entertaining. These aren’t necessarily my favourite songs of all time, because I like so many. Instead these are some of the ones that sprang to mind when I was preparing this post. I have decided to have the selected lyrics first and the name of the artists afterwards, so that the emphasis is placed upon the words from the song. Although is is more than likely that you’ll be able to identify the songs from the lyrics immediately, or at least for some of them.
The transition from purchasing music on CDs, vinyl or via downloads, to on-demand streaming has fundamentally altered the music industry. Furthermore, the current dominance of on-demand streaming as a medium for providing music has actually reshaped how pop music is written, produced and released. Because streaming platforms like Spotify, Apple Music, and TikTok operate on specific payment algorithms and cater to the rapid-scrolling habits of contemporary listeners, producers and songwriters have decided to completely rewrite the rulebook of how pop music is made. These new rules are not one hundred percent ubiquitous and you’ll still find song writers and artists who do things the old way or in a manner that suits them. However, sufficient numbers of song writers have adopted the new methodology, that you can hear the change if you spend a day or so listening to a mainstream pop playlist or radio station that showcases such material.
I was recently listening to some music on Spotify when it struck me how poor the sound quality was. It lacked any depth and certain instruments seemed lost in what I can only describe as a somewhat flat and smudged soundscape. Then I remembered that I had recently reinstalled the app on my PC after the search facility "broke" on the previous install. It would seem that any prior settings and customisations that I may have made had not carried over, not that I recollect specifically making any. I consulted Google Gemini to see if this issue was a common one and low and behold it is. The latest version of Spotify, by default, has the streaming bitrate set fairly low to accommodate data capped internet services or low bandwidth connections. In audio terms the music quality sounds poor. Hence I spent sometime nosing around in the settings to see what needed to be changed to remedy this problem. Here is the breakdown of the alterations that I made.
The Guardian news website have a recurring feature in their “culture” section called Honest Playlist where they ask various celebrities about their music listening habits. There are a dozen or so stock questions that they use to grill their guest, although they don’t always use the same ones. I think it makes for interesting reading so its a column that I often visit. As I haven’t published a post based upon an internet questionnaire for a while, I thought I poach this particular line of questioning and have a crack at it myself. I have chosen the ten questions that I think are the best and by that I mean, they have the most scope for interesting answers. I didn’t include the one about karaoke because it’s not something I especially like. Each to their own. Feel free to similarly purloin this set of questions and write your own responses. I’m always fascinated by these sort of things.
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
I recently came up with a random writing prompt for the annual Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event. Namely, “what is your favourite bassline in a song”? For clarity, Wikipedia defines a bassline as follows: Bassline is the term used in many styles of music, such as blues, jazz, funk, dub and electronic, traditional, and classical music, for the low-pitched instrumental part or line played by a rhythm section instrument such as the electric bass, double bass, cello, tuba or keyboard. As I thought of this prompt, it only seems fair that I tackle it myself. Hence, here are five songs that I feel have notable basslines, or that have bassplayers that play in a unique style. I am not especially musically talented myself and therefore not au fait with all the correct musical terminology. However, I will strive to quantify why I think each song is a good example.
This post is not intended to be a comprehensive review of music per se in 2024. It is simply a few thoughts on what I’ve been listening to over the course of the year and my ever changing relationship with the Terpsichorean muse. As a man in his fifties who has always enjoyed multiple genres of music and it is a comforting presence in day-to-day life. Up to a year ago, I relied upon my own music collection on my PC as the source of music to which I listened. Yet, this meant that I was somewhat locked into my own existing tastes and there was limited scope for me to find new material. This changed last December when I started subscribing to Spotify and since then it has become my primary source of music. It caters to my tastes, which at times are quite niche and it gently introduces me to new material without being too invasive. This has proven most beneficial.
I currently have over 152 GB of music on my PC. Approximately 26,000 songs or pieces of music. These are in MP3, Flac and other formats. The files have been sourced from various CDs that I have owned over the years and subsequently “ripped”. Others have been bought from Amazon or other similar sources. In the past I have copied music from friends’ collections and vice versa. The files are mainly categorised by artist or name which is sufficient for me to be able to trawl through them to find what I want. I use foobar2000 as my music player of choice, mainly because it is updated by its developer, plays all major file formats and has no adverts. The interface is verging on the spartan but I prefer this minimalist approach, as I do not require an excess of features.
The following is about a cultural change. That is not to say that it’s a value judgement or one of those posts you so frequently read by bloggers of a certain age, that essentially boil down to “things were better in my day”. It is merely an observation and like all observations it is not 100% universal. There will always be exceptions to the rule. I am simply painting with broad strokes a general truism for your consideration. My point being that people listen, experience and enjoy music differently these days compared to how they did three to four decades ago. I’m not talking about the science of hearing or anything complex like that. I am merely highlighting the change in the way we choose to experience music and how that has an impact upon its creation and presentation. So like Anne Elk, presenting her theory on the Brontosaurus, here is the axiom at the heart of this post.
I was reminiscing about the music of my youth the other day which led me to listen to a track by Pro-Pain. The band formed in NYC in 1991 and their debut album Foul Taste of Freedom got some traction in the UK. I lost track of them after the next album and moved on musically. However, because of my recent fit of nostalgia, I looked the band up on Wikipedia and discovered that they were still going. Now thirty years is quite a long period of time and nothing stays the same forever but even I was surprised to see that the lineup of Pro-Pain had changed over a dozen times. The only original artist in the band today is bass player, lead vocalists and founder member, Gary Meskil. As ever this started a train of thought about the subject. How so many bands have made substantial changes in their lineup over the course of their careers and the respective pros and cons of such decisions.
In 2000, I was the proud owner of a Sega Dreamcast. I had a broad selection of games for the console from multiple genres, including Metropolis Street Racer. This was an early example of an open world driving game which is noteworthy in itself. However, what stood out for me was that this was the first game that I had played which had in-game radio stations. Although this is something that is now de rigueur within this sub-genre, back then this was a novelty. The tracks were stored on the game CD but played selectively according to which radio station you were listening to when driving. The sound even broke up if you went into a tunnel. The songs were all original creations, rather than licensed properties. Although credited to faux bands and bogus artists, composer Richard Jacques wrote and arranged them all. I was especially fond of the Oasis inspired band Salford Quays and the track Live Your Life.
I was a teenager during the eighties and the music that I listened to at the time was a major part of my overall experience. My musical taste influenced how I dressed and sometimes even determined friendships. Going to a gig and seeing music performed live was a major rite of passage. Furthermore, due to there only being a handful of TV channels in the UK at the time, meant that certain key programs were responsible for the dissemination of a broad spectrum of musical genres. Hence, while you waited for a band that you liked to come on, you’d sit and be exposed to a wealth of different artists. Something that tends not to happen nowadays as there is far more choice available. My passion for music persisted throughout the nineties and then began to wane round about the turn of the century. Work and the practicalities of daily life made it increasingly difficult to “keep up”. I used to read the music press and know about contemporary artists. I no longer do this. I often don’t even know what the current Number 1 record is.
I try and keep abreast of what's happening and going on, especially in those areas of interest to me such as movies, TV and gaming etc. Occasionally stuff passes me by that I subsequently discover at a later date, often to the refrain of WTF? A few years ago I was idly channel surfing only to discover that a seminal UK children's TV show from my youth, the Mr. Men, had been remade in a more contemporary idiom. Luckily, the source characters were still relatively unscathed, and the revamped show did a competent job in bringing Roger Hargreaves work to a new generation. Still, no one had told me and discovering this, in such a fashion was a bit of a surprise.
Salem's Lot by Stephen King (1975)
When a book is as well known, well loved and as critically revered as Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot, it seems somewhat redundant to write yet another review of it. I doubt I can add anything significant or original to say about its virtues and merits. So I won’t attempt to do so. I’ll simply share some thoughts on the book in question and leave it at that. Firstly, I read the novel in 1981 when it was more than half a decade old. I had already seen the 1979 television mini-series, directed by Tobe Hooper, which I had enjoyed immensely. Luckily, I had an exceptionally good English teacher at school at the time, who impressed upon me the challenges involved in adapting books for TV or film. Hence, when I actually sat down to read Salem’s Lot I expected it to be distinctly different to what I had seen already. And it was. An utterly enthralling story, that absorbed me totally and scared me shitless. It left a profound mark upon me. Last month, approximately 41 years later, I read it again and enjoyed it even more.
When a book is as well known, well loved and as critically revered as Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot, it seems somewhat redundant to write yet another review of it. I doubt I can add anything significant or original to say about its virtues and merits. So I won’t attempt to do so. I’ll simply share some thoughts on the book in question and leave it at that. Firstly, I read the novel in 1981 when it was more than half a decade old. I had already seen the 1979 television mini-series, directed by Tobe Hooper, which I had enjoyed immensely. Luckily, I had an exceptionally good English teacher at school at the time, who impressed upon me the challenges involved in adapting books for TV or film. Hence, when I actually sat down to read Salem’s Lot I expected it to be distinctly different to what I had seen already. And it was. An utterly enthralling story, that absorbed me totally and scared me shitless. It left a profound mark upon me. Last month, approximately 41 years later, I read it again and enjoyed it even more.
Salem’s lot contains a lot of the hallmarks of why people love King’s writing. He has an uncanny ability to depict everyday people with their flaws, quirks and vices. He will often devote a lot of time exploring the thoughts and feelings of characters, which often are not entirely necessary to expedite the plot but it just adds to credibility of the world he has created. In the case of Salem’s Lot, the town is ultimately defined by its people and not just the detailed description of the buildings and local geography. Hence King devotes a lot of time to interesting vignettes about Dud Rogers who runs the town dump, telephone repairman Corey Bryant and the graveyard digger, Mike Ryerson. The novel is at its best when getting to know the townsfolk, especially as things gradually take a turn for the worse. I appreciated this aspect of the book so much more the second time round, whereas my younger self craved the horror and panic of the book’s latter stages.
When the vampire infection begins to spread, King manages to generate a palpable sense of creeping dread. The vampires are not just a clumsy plot device but are wily and sophisticated foes. This is made worse by the close knit nature of the community and the fact that people are being hunted by those they know. The story fosters a keen sense of hopelessness, as it becomes clear that the remote and insular nature of Salem’s Lot is working against the interests of our protagonists, author Ben Mears, college graduate Susan Norton, school teacher Matt Burke, doctor Jimmy Cody, local boy Mark Petrie and local priest Father Callahan. The story reaches its peak when the vampire threat feels overwhelming both physically and spiritually. The ending is far from black and white and although it addresses and resolves some issues, it does not neatly conclude all the story lines. It implies a successful conclusion to a battle but not necessarily a definitive victory.
Salem’s Lot is a great example of vintage Stephen King, succinctly highlighting why he was a rising star at the time. The novel is a microcosm of the time it was written, capturing the neurosis and world weariness of the US public in the years after Watergate and the Vietnam war. It is about disillusionment and a fear of the future. A concern that forces are abroad that are unchecked and uncontrollable. It is also a metaphor for the continuous battle of wills between rural and urban America. Even the parochial town of Salem’s Lot is a bastion of modernity compared to the ancient and sinister powers of Kurt Barlow. But perhaps the jewel in the crown of this novel is King’s ability to capture the realities and cultural distinction of living in a small town. Salem’s Lot remains a milestone in horror writing and in American literature per se. It is a book I would recommend not only to horror enthusiasts but to anyone who enjoys well crafted characters. If you are a student of writing then Salem’s Lot has a lot to teach.
I come from a generation whose primary source of entertainment was not TV, video games or the internet. It was instead reading books. As a child, if I were to ever go on a lengthy car journey, the go to form of in car entertainment would be to bring a book. I don’t want to cover old ground, as I have written about this in the past but I cannot stress how important the local library was during the seventies. Not just for me but my entire family. We would all go, take out multiple books and read them over the following weeks until we had to return them. Books, were a feature of our home and those of my peers. When we finally sold my parents home a few years ago, the most notable and striking aspect of the house clearance was filling 16 substantial boxes with books and trying to find a suitable charitable outlet to take them. Both my parents collections of books, built up over a lifetime. It was a striking statement upon the significance of books in the past and how they are considered nowadays.
There are numerous audio recordings and dramatisations of of J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. Most recently in 2020, actor Andy Serkis, famous for his portrayal of Gollum in Peter Jackson’s films, read an unabridged version of this classic story. Both critics and fans praised Serkis for his prodigious vocal range and ability to give distinct, recognisable voices to over a hundred characters. Prior to this in 1991, actor and playwright Rob Inglis, recorded the first unabridged version. This production was notable for its more traditional approach to storytelling, where as Serkis’ recording emphasises the drama. Inglis similarly gave each character a unique voice and sang all the songs featured in the text. However, prior to these, in 1974, Argo Records released an abridged recording of The Hobbit narrated by Scottish-born actor Nicol Williamson. Upon release this 4-LP box set was positively appraised but over the years has eclipsed by the aforementioned releases.
First off, credit where credit is due. I pilfered the idea for this post from Mark Rogers who writes the Newsonaut blog. Apparently it’s a questionnaire that has been doing the rounds across various indie blogs for a while. However, it happens to ask some interesting questions about one’s reading habits. I read a book every month or so and I supplement this by listening to a lot of audiobooks. Yes, I’m aware they’re not the same thing entirely but both offer a means to consume and digest a book. Hence I am not interested in this “popular” internet debate and won’t waste my time on it here. I advocate reading in all its variant forms. Be it sitting in an armchair and perusing a grimoire while smoking a Meerschaum, to reading an article online on your phone or PC. I’d rather that people read in some shape or form, than not at all. As Mark Twain wisely said, “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read”. So without further ado, here are my answers to the “five Ws of Reading”.
For many years, Tolkien fans only had a tantalising glimpses of the Second Age of Middle-earth via the appendices found within The Lord of the Rings. It was only after The Silmarillion was posthumously published after Tolkien’s death, that a more comprehensive narrative could be presented. While much of that book focused on the First Age of Middle-earth, it also included events surrounding the rise and fall of the island of Númenor in the Second Age. This kingdom, raised from the Great Sea and bestowed upon the Men of Middle-earth as a reward for their assistance in defeating the Dark Lord Morgoth, became a centre of power and wealth. However, as the Númenóreans' influence grew, the seeds of their destruction were inevitably sown. Over the years further publications edited by Christopher Tolkien, such as Unfinished Tales of Númenor and Middle-earth and the twelve-volume series, The History of Middle-earth have provided further historical lore.
I am a big fan of Audible as a service. Over several years I have built up a sizeable collection of audiobooks and whenever a new title is released that is of interest to me, I instantly consider do I wish to buy a physical copy of the book in question or an audio version. I consume a lot of non-fiction titles, especially science based content. I find audiobook versions of such material a lot easier to digest, mainly due to the measured pace of the narrator that gives me time to consider and mentally digest what I am listening too. If I struggle with a point, I can instantly rewind the audio back 30 seconds and listen again. Plus listening to Stephen Fry or someone else with a distinctive and charismatic voice read something is eminently superior to my own inner monologue. Hence I find audiobooks to be a medium that if both convenient and enjoyable for me. Furthermore, the various subscription tiers of Audible have proven beneficial. That is until this March when they altered these.
Last August I listened to The Battersea Poltergeist podcast by Danny Robins and was subsequently introduced to his other production Uncanny. Both are investigations into alleged supernatural events but unlike other shows of this kind, these are far better researched, produced and most importantly even handed. Danny makes a great deal of effort to try and keep a foot in each camp; team believer and team sceptic. Overall these podcast work as they genuinely appeal to multiple audiences and they are not excessively hyperbolic or credulous. A lot of this comes down to Danny’s personality which is upbeat and relatable. Perhaps his greatest strength is being a sympathetic ear to those recounting their experiences. He lightens the mood from time to time with humour when required. He also liberally litters the proceedings with pop culture references. However, he will probe and ask pointed questions but does so in a non-accusatory manner.
The zombie genre is a narrative seam that has been heavily mined in recent years. There seems to have been a never-ending supply of films, television shows and video games involving the undead over the last two decades. Which is why the notion of society being destroyed by its own citizens has somewhat lost its intellectual and horrific lustre. Hence I can understand people rolling their eyes at the mention of the novel World War Z by Max Brooks. The 2013 film adaptation starring Brad Pitt, which jettisoned most of the source text's innovations, isn’t the best advertisement for the book’s virtues. However, if you take the time to look beyond the hyperbolic title, you’ll find World War Z a work of singular intelligence which uses the zombie genre as a means to explore multiple socio-economic and political themes.
Dr Richard Shepherd is a senior forensic pathologist with over 30 years’ experience, consisting of 23,000 postmortems. His book, Unnatural Causes, explores his career and his devotion to the truth in determining how each of his cases died. Over the course of his career this includes victims of mass disasters, homicides, and those who have died in their own homes from unknown causes. Dr Shepherd’s job is to ascertain a cause of death based upon the facts and data presented. Each case is described with detail and empathy and it’s surprising how much the reader becomes immersed in the methodical approach that each postmortem entails. Furthermore, it is very satisfying to learn of Dr Shepherd’s verdict. However, far from being a technical dissertation on a succession of cases, this is a deeply personal and humane book which addresses the impact of the author’s career upon himself and his family. It is written with a surprising degree of literary flair and is profoundly thought provoking and moving.
When a book is as well known, well loved and as critically revered as Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot, it seems somewhat redundant to write yet another review of it. I doubt I can add anything significant or original to say about its virtues and merits. So I won’t attempt to do so. I’ll simply share some thoughts on the book in question and leave it at that. Firstly, I read the novel in 1981 when it was more than half a decade old. I had already seen the 1979 television mini-series, directed by Tobe Hooper, which I had enjoyed immensely. Luckily, I had an exceptionally good English teacher at school at the time, who impressed upon me the challenges involved in adapting books for TV or film. Hence, when I actually sat down to read Salem’s Lot I expected it to be distinctly different to what I had seen already. And it was. An utterly enthralling story, that absorbed me totally and scared me shitless. It left a profound mark upon me. Last month, approximately 41 years later, I read it again and enjoyed it even more.
Charles Dexter Ward is a young man from a prominent Rhode Island family with a keen interest in history. He spends much of his childhood wandering the streets of ancient Providence, drawn inexorably to its architecture, as well as it’s colourful heritage. As an adult he continues his antiquarian leanings and subsequently discovers a hitherto unknown ancestor, Joseph Curwen. One with a shadowy past which hints at the pursuit of alchemy and other arcane practises. Charles decides to uncover the truth regarding Joseph Curwen and over time his interest changes into obsession. His Father begins to worry about his son’s fixation and the family Doctor, Marinus Bicknell Willett, decides to keep an eye upon the youth’s state of mind. A series of curious events hint at a growing eldritch malevolence and Doctor Willett begins to suspect that Charles is in grave danger from a menace stretching across time.
At the Mountains of Madness is a story told from a first-person perspective by geologist William Dyer, a professor from Miskatonic University in Arkham, a fictional town in Essex County, Massachusetts USA. When a new scientific expedition to Antarctica is announced, Dyer breaks his silence and discloses hitherto unknown and closely kept secrets about his own explorations of the continent and exactly what befell his own expedition. He details how his team found the preserved remains of 14 prehistoric life forms unknown to science and outside of the existing geological and evolutionary timescale. He goes on to recount how some of the men and sled dogs are killed under mysterious circumstances. Dyer and graduate student Danforth, subsequently explored a mountain range by plane and discovered a vast, abandoned stone city, which is alien to any form of human architecture. What is the secret of this ancient ruin? Can Dyer convince subsequent explorers to stay clear of “the mountains of madness”.
Let’s not be coy about this. J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Silmarillion is not in any way a light read. It has a complex narrative, filled with staggering amounts of lore to digest. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it to anyone as their first point of entry into the Tolkien Legendarium. I think this is a book that you tackle after The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, if you are sufficiently enamoured with the threads of a wider backstory that are alluded to in both those volumes. If that is the case then brace yourself. However, despite its sprawling histories and dense genealogies, The Silmarillion is an incredibly rewarding book. There is an air of majesty surrounding the epic stories it contains and its themes about the eternal struggle between the dark and the light are timeless. Due to the immense detail that Tolkien lavishes upon the text, Middle-earth feels like a genuine living, breathing world. A world of languages, culture, geography and history. To date it has never been equalled.
First published in 1980, Unfinished Tales is a collection of stories by J. R. R. Tolkien, that spans from the Elder Days of Middle-earth to the end of the War of the Ring. For those who have read both The Silmarillion and The Lord of the Rings, this book provides additional insights and more detailed accounts of many key events of the First, Second and Third age. Such as Gandalf’s informative tale of how he came to send the Dwarves to Bag-End in search of a burglar, the appearance of the sea deity Ulmo before Tuor on the coast of Beleriand and an in depth description of the military organization of the Riders of Rohan. This collection of stories and essays by J. R. R. Tolkien were never fully completed during the author’s lifetime but were posthumously edited by his son Christopher Tolkien and present with notes, annotations and were required a detailed commentary.
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”
The problems that beset the modern world are complicated and nuanced. Thus any potential solutions will be equally complex and subtle. There are no quick fixes for issues such as climate change or nuclear proliferation and anyone trying to sell you one is either a charlatan or a fool. In his book, The Demon-Haunted World, Carl Sagan strongly advocates that adopting a scientific approach to thinking is essential in a modern democracy. By this he means questioning ideas critically and requiring evidence based arguments. If something cannot be effectively measured, tested or verified we should be deeply sceptical of it. He even goes so far as to argue that it is patriotic to ask questions and that any person, institution or organisation that avoids such scrutiny should be deemed suspect. Published in 1995 Sagan’s concerns regarding the coming century have proven sadly accurate. A quarter of a century ago, he predicted the rise of misinformation, fake news and alternative facts. When information is controlled and a population lacks critical thinking it becomes "unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true".
In my youth I was a prodigious reader. I spent many a happy weekend visiting my local library and often spent my pocket money on books as a child. Overtime, I changed from reading fiction to non-fiction. More recently, a lot of my reading has been done online, consumed either via my office PC or tablet. That’s not to say that I don’t buy paperback or hardback books anymore. I still consider this to be the preferred experience. There is something fundamentally exciting about sitting down in a comfy chair, reading at your own pace, away from distractions. However last year I injured my left arm and I have subsequently found holding a large hardback book to be a difficult experience. So for the sake of convenience I started listening to audiobooks instead. I’ve always enjoyed them considering them a great alternative to traditional print media. What my recent foray into this format has taught me is how much the medium of the audiobook has grown.
If you wanted to find me on a Saturday afternoon during the late seventies and early eighties, then the local library was a safe bet. At one point I belonged to three including one in a neighbouring borough but Blackfen Library was my favourite. It was the nearest to our home and I was fond of the oddly austere building. Both of my parents have always been prodigious readers so going to the library quickly became a regular part of my youth. Initially, I was content to confine myself to the children’s section reading Hergé's Adventures of Tintin and the escapades of Asterix the Gaul. However, I was never really content with fiction aimed at children and especially stories about children. Hence as I grew older I expanded my horizons and strayed into the adult section. My parents didn’t interfere in my choice of books and took the attitude that if I were reading, then I wasn’t getting into trouble. My Dad would make the occasional recommendation. Usually classic science fiction by authors such as Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke.
The gaming community (as well as many others) can be somewhat myopic at times. I'm sure many people are aware of Father Roderick and his prolific body of work. Is there a game, genre movie, TV show or some form of technology that he doesn't cover on his various podcasts and YouTube videos? Yet outside of this environment, his championing of all things "geek" still comes as a culture shock to the wider world with their somewhat entrenched attitudes towards both the “nerdy” and the religious. His 2013 book Geekpriest: Confessions of a New Media Pioneer, endeavours to address this issue. Furthermore it clearly advocates that the church should embrace all forms of new media and engage with all communities. Fandom, shared interests and hobbies are a great starting point for this.
Many of my fellow bloggers regularly posts details of what they’ve been reading of late. I must admit that although I received several books and graphic novels as Christmas presents, I’ve yet to start any of them. The bulk of my reading is done via my PC or Tablet and usually tends to be news articles, blog posts and research for my writing. The last book that I physically read was Titus Crow, Volume 3: In the Moons of Borea & Elysia by Brian Lumley and that was last November. So, I’ve decided to get back into reading in the traditional sense and as ever have allotted time in my schedule and set myself goals. As a carer I have numerous appointments to attend throughout the week with my parents. Rather than waste time on my phone perusing twitter and gawping at the internet, I shall use these periods to read.
During the eighties, I was an avid fan of the novelist Clive Barker. I consumed all his work voraciously and sought out magazine and television interviews with him whenever I could, finding the man equally as fascinating as his work. Oh, to be a twenty something horror fan during the genre renaissance of that decade. Despite the yolk of the Video Recordings Acts and the scaremongering of the tabloid press over “Video nasties”, horror fiction both in print and on the big screen was elevated to new levels due to the creativity of one British author and director. These were halcyon days for fan boys and girls.
Many people consider history (or at least books about it) to be a dry and a somewhat dull experience. If you are such a person then I cordially invite you to think again. Suetonius’ book “The Twelve Caesars” is a catalogue of degeneracy, perversions and general behaviour that would upset the vicar. It is both gripping and informative, proving that with regard to human nature, no matter how things change, they remain the same.
I recently started reading fiction again after spending half a year focused upon academic subjects and ploughing my way through numerous non-fiction books. I’ve always been a fan of the Bond franchise so decided it was time to familiarise myself with Ian Flemings’ the source material. The results so far have proven to be quite surprising and not at all as I expected. I managed to purchase the first seven novels in the series from a second hand book shop and have so far completed five of them. I also have audio book version available of the all of Fleming’s stories should I need to consume them in such a fashion.
The Land That Time Forgot is the first part of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ “Caspak” trilogy of science fantasy novels. Commencing as a wartime sea adventure, hence its original working title of The Lost U-Boat, Burroughs’ story ultimately develops into a saga with similarities to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World and Jules Verne’s The Mysterious Island. What makes Burroughs work unique is his plot device of a biological system specific to his island, in which the slow progress of evolution manifests itself as individual metamorphosis. This biological feature is only implied in The Land That Time Forgot and explored in greater depth over the course of the next two novels, The People That Time Forgot and Out of Time’s Abyss.
Robert E. Howard’s collective literary work is often overshadowed by his most famous character, Conan the Cimmerian. As with Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes, the success of a single creation can lead to subsequent material being overlooked or discounted. This can be a dilemma for many a popular author. Fortunately we live in an age where the back catalogue of many a writer is now freely available and lesser known work is re-evaluated. The publisher Wordsworth has recently compiled a collection of Howard’s short stories that squarely fall in to this category. Like his more popular work, the anthology The Haunter of the Ring and Other Tales focuses on the supernatural, the fantastic and baroque.
Mr. Tickle was written in 1971 and if we wish to gain a greater understanding of this work, then we need to consider the political and historical landscape of the time, as so much of it is reflected in the subtleties of the text. This was the year that the UK changed its currency through decimalization. While Cambodia was ravaged by the Khmer Rouge, America opened Disney World as a shrine to capitalism and consumerism. These were turbulent times which saw the passing of old established world orders. The idea of whether the individual can have a meaningful impact upon the world during such an era is examined and stripped bare in Mr. Tickle, if one takes the time to find it.
William Hope Hodgson (November 15, 1877 – April 1918) was an English author with a penchant for baroque and arcane horror, fantasy and science fiction. His style and insight drew heavily on his own colourful experiences. The son of a Priest he ran away to sea at an early age and travelled widely. He was a keen amateur photographer and achieved some renown as a bodybuilder and escapologist. He died in World War I at the age of 40. Although moderately successful during his lifetime it was not until after his death that his work, especially his short stories, received the acclaim they deserved. This was mainly due to posthumous publication of all the material regarding one Thomas Carnacki; investigator of the supernatural.
Reinstalling a Game to Recapture the Past
Think of a game that you’ve played in the past that impressed you greatly and left a marked impression upon you. A game which you feel is a real genre milestone or is at the very least, a personal favourite out of all the games that you’ve played in your lifetime. A game that has a special space in your heart. Of which you have many fond memories that are as clear to you now as when you first played it. A game in which you invested a significant amount of time, potentially at the expense of other hobbies and pastimes. Time you gave freely because you were so enamoured by what you were experiencing. In the context of this blog post, I shall be referring to The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for the PC. However, that is simply a point of reference for the benefit of my writing. Hopefully, the points that I make will be just as relevant and applicable for any other title you may have in mind.
Think of a game that you’ve played in the past that impressed you greatly and left a marked impression upon you. A game which you feel is a real genre milestone or is at the very least, a personal favourite out of all the games that you’ve played in your lifetime. A game that has a special space in your heart. Of which you have many fond memories that are as clear to you now as when you first played it. A game in which you invested a significant amount of time, potentially at the expense of other hobbies and pastimes. Time you gave freely because you were so enamoured by what you were experiencing. In the context of this blog post, I shall be referring to The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for the PC. However, that is simply a point of reference for the benefit of my writing. Hopefully, the points that I make will be just as relevant and applicable for any other title you may have in mind.
I started playing Skyrim about 18 months after its original release. I bought the Legendary Edition which included all the DLC. This delay meant that I also benefited from a wealth of online guides and wikis, ensuring that I had a smooth and problem free gaming experience. I had played other RPGs prior to Skyrim but it became immediately apparent to me that this game was unique. It offered an enigmatic and expansive open world to explore, filled with a multitude of quests and interesting characters. Every story, no matter how simple, always seemed to have the scope to become something much bigger and it often did. The NPCs were charismatic and compelling. I still remember when I first encountered M'aiq the Liar in a remote mountain region. I was so surprised to find him there and was immediately drawn into the quirky dialogue options.
Such things and much more contributed to Skyrim’s spell. Like encountering the Dark Brotherhood, your first battle with a dragon and exploring the streets and alleyways of Whiterun. Then there were the NPCs following their daily routine. They would haggle with you and remember your custom. Then as night fell, they will shut their shops and return to their homes. The wildlife would then come out. The herbivores would graze and the predators would hunt them. Enemies lurked in the shadows if you went exploring. If you remain in the safety of a tavern, minstrels sang and strangers told tall tales. All of which made you feel that the world was alive. It was immersive and enthralling. And then you were hit by the technical mastery of it all. And when I realised that Christopher Plummer and Max Von Sydow were providing voices for two of the main characters, I realised that video games were just as significant as film.
I spent over 300 hours playing Skyrim. When I finally finished I had played through pretty much all the story content available in the game and the only material left were procedurally generated quests. Like many others before me, I extended the lifespan of the game by adding multiple mods and playing through fan generated material. It was wild and exciting to be able to customise an RPG in such a fashion. To be able to make tangible changes that would improve your gaming experience, such as redesigning the UI, or to just have fun adding a top hat to a mud crab. Yet despite all this potential, I eventually moved on to another game. For gamers the grass is always greener elsewhere and there’s always something new just around the corner. Skyrim became a revered memory in my personal gaming history. A genre classic whose virtues and merits I’d happily extol.
The other day I was scrolling through the list of recommendations that YouTube in its infinite wisdom thinks are of interest to me. I saw an instructional video that showed you how to install what are considered to be the most essential mods for Skyrim. These included changes to lighting, textures, UI and such like. The thrust of the video was if you wish to return to Skyrim, just install the base game, add the mods in bulk and you will be able to play a contemporary iteration of the game, quickly and efficiently. To cut a long story short the video elicited a strong sense of nostalgia and I felt a tangible craving to be able to play Skyrim and recapture those feelings that I had previously experienced. It was like remembering a past lover and briefly tapping into the associated emotions. I actually went to bed that night musing on a video game and the way it had made me feel. I wondered whether it could do so again.
The reality of a new day brought fresh clarity to my thoughts and I was able to see beyond my own cravings for the past. I concluded that after downloading the base game of Skyrim and then adding the wealth of mods, I was going to log into the game on a high of nostalgia. But I surmised that shortly afterwards, I would find myself faced with familiar content and nothing more. The nostalgia would vanish because it is not solely tied to the game itself. It was born of a multitude of other factors that existed when I first played. The fact that I was relatively new to the RPG genre and hadn't played other Elder Scrolls games. Then there were more esoteric aspects to consider. Where I was in my life at the time. The time I had at my disposal. The fact that I still had a very naive relationship with games and projected much of myself upon them. Skyrim was and remains special but it was the experience of playing it in its totality that was unique and not just the game. Like a long, hot and eventful summer of my youth, it could not be recaptured.
And so I decided not to install the game and attempt to recapture my past. I had a feeling that to do so would be a fool’s errand. A lot of time and effort spent to arrive at a conclusion that was glaringly obvious already. I think this was indeed the right choice for me and I am content to leave things as they are. Skyrim will remain a fond memory. Unsullied, undiluted but a memory no less. Life is predicated upon change, which is why memories are so important. I console myself that I shouldn’t worry about not being able to re-experience the enjoyment I got from Skyrim, because there will be new experiences to come in the future. Other games that will feel equally as revolutionary and comparable milestones. The entire process is cyclical. Furthermore, I shall adopt the same policy with regard to The Witcher III: Wild Hunt and Red Dead Redemption 2. Let the past remain the past. Strive too hard for nostalgia and you risk breaking its illusion.
I began work on Project Questa on the 27th of September, because I couldn’t get Khazad Voice TTS to work on my PC. Since then I’ve spent several days a week working on my AI narrator utility and have made steady progress. Last time I wrote about the project the production pipeline ran as follows. DXCam, OpenCV, Windows OCR and Microsoft Speech API (SAPI). Over time, I determined that Tesseract was a better OCR and that Kokoro TTS produced superior narration. However, in the last week I found that constant fine tuning across different aspects of the production process was not really producing any significant improvements. The main problems were capturing text from dialogue windows that required scrolling, as well as overall latency in producing narration. A delay over 5 seconds is too long in my assessment. Hence I decided to fundamentally change the overall approach to dialogue capture.
I started playing MMOs in late 2008 by which time the genre was clearly established and dominated by one particular title, World of Warcraft. I chose to play The Lord of the Rings Online, mainly because of my love for the intellectual property the game is based upon. I still play LOTRO today. However, I was very aware of popularity and significance of WoW at the time. It pretty much set the rules for how you design a MMO and it did much to move on from the previous gameplay parameters set by such titles as Ultima Online and EverQuest. It was also the MMO that every other developer was trying to beat. Another compelling factor regarding WoW is that everyone I knew at the time was either actively playing it or had done so at some point. It was for many gamers, the go-to title for socialising. Finally around early 2010, I tried a free trail of WoW to “see what all the fuss was about”. Simply put, I felt that it wasn’t for me.
Over the course of the last 16 years, the MMORPG Star Trek Online has changed greatly. What started as a disjointed, rushed game with unfinished systems and a lack of overall cohesion has now evolved into streamlined MMO with clearly defined systems and very strong narrative arcs. Let it suffice to say that STO makes very good use of its license and the intellectual property it is built upon. Although new content has been continuously added to STO over time and refinements are regularly rolled out, the developer’s have also removed content from the game in the past, that they feel is substandard or too dated in it presentation. Hence in October 2018 Cryptic took out the following eight missions from the game, with the proviso that they would be updated and replaced at a latter date. Until fairly recently, STO players had given up hope on this ever happening and the episodes being reinstated. Eight years is a long time.
One of the things that I enjoy when playing a new video game is character customisation or character creation. I will spend hours trawling through settings, changing the most minute and consequential aspects of my avatars appearance. I am certain that there is a psychological aspect to this particular game mechanic and that it says something about you as a person. Are your creations shaped just by a need to look good in-game or is there more to it? Are they external manifestations of your sexual preferences or thoughts on body image. Do you treat them as characters from a book that exists in your mind. Do you aspire to recreate the likeness of people you know or admire? Do you strive to make your avatar look like you? Whatever the reasons, it would seem that character creation is something that a lot of gamers enjoy. Hence I am not alone in my borderline obsession. What you look like in-game is equally as important as your character’s name.
I was playing Battlefield 6 recently and was experimenting with the mortar. If you stick with it and take some time to become familiar with its foibles, it can be an effective weapon. It can suppress the enemy, destroy equipment and provide useful cover for your own team. I remember thinking “I wonder if artillery could sustain a game on its own”. Artillery is an interesting feature in Hell Let Loose, although it is a little more complex in its game mechanics. I believe artillery is also available in Wardogs. I therefore spent a while looking online to see if there was a dedicated artillery simulator available or at least a game where it was a key feature. There nearest thing I found was Iron Nest, a dieselpunk heavy artillery game which looks interesting but isn’t quite what I seek. So I parked this idea and moved. Tonight, while perusing YouTube, I stumble across a teaser trailer for a game called Flak Simulator, currently under development by Horseman Interactive. It appears to be exactly what I am looking for.
I recently tried to use DLSS 5 Manager with the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out. Today I undertook a similar experiment with AMD Neural Rendering, which is a broadly comparable product. Both utilities use 3D-Guided Neural Rendering, an AI technology that alters how lighting, reflections, and textures look in a game. Instead of just upscaling the image like older versions, DLSS 5 uses an AI network to instantly "re-render" lighting and material responses over the game's layout, achieving photorealistic details that would normally negatively impact a graphics card's performance. Or to put it in less fancy terms, the game graphics are enhanced and modified, although it is highly subjective as to whether the end results are an improvement. However, as a game such as LOTRO is unlikely to ever receive a major graphical overhaul, tools such as these are the nearest players will get to revised graphics.
The core game code and engine for the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online, is about 24 years old. LOTRO began originally as Middle-earth Online, developed by Sierra On-Line in 1998. Turbine took over full development of the project in 2003/2004 when their parent company, Vivendi Universal Games, acquired Sierra. The content that had already been developed by Sierra was abandoned and Turbine created a new game using structural elements such as the UI and game engine from their previous release Asheron’s Call 2 from 2002. The Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar was officially released in April 2007. Hence, the active public release code is 19 years old. Despite continuous expansion and updates, along with a recent migration to 64-bit architecture, the foundations of LOTRO retains a nearly twenty year old legacy framework. This frequently contributes to modern technical hurdles and engine constraints.
A few years ago, there was a fan created project to provide voice narration of NPC dialogue in the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. This mainly involved capturing the text in the quest dialogue windows and then sending it to OCR software, before using a text-to-speech program to read it. LOTROVoice as it was known, broadly worked but the creator stopped developing it as it proved troublesome to maintain. However, I recently discovered Khazad Voice TTS which is a separate project that does pretty much the same. I went so far as to install this “immersive AI narrator for LOTRO” after seeing a YouTube video of it being used successfully. Sadly I ran into issues configuring Khazad Voice TTS, because I have two monitors and LOTRO runs on the secondary (by my choice) and not the primary. I couldn’t “lasso” the dialogue windows in LOTRO during the calibration set up, which effectively prevented me from completing the process.
Throughout yesterday and early today, there was an issue logging in to the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. Upon starting the game launcher, it would attempt to connect to the patch server to download the latest game update. This process would start but then subsequently stall at 33%. The launcher would then attempt to reconnect to the patch server every 60 seconds but could not make any further progress. Some players found that if they left it long enough, it would eventually complete the download and the launcher then progress to the next screen where they could input their username and password. However, for the majority of LOTRO players the problem would simply persists and the launcher would be stuck in a loop. Some players attempted to reinstall the game or use the repair data facility in the launcher but neither of these proved to be successful workarounds. The patch sever needed to be bypassed to resolve the issue.
I’ve been playing Fall Guys since its launch in early 2020, during the start of the pandemic. It is a fun, family friendly multiplayer game which is has proven popular with my grandchildren. Despite the game’s acquisition by Epic, it has maintained a sufficient level of popularity that has seen it ported to all major gaming platforms. Fall Guys is free to play but like most multiplayer games, there is a season pass and an in-game store. However, these monetised aspects are not essential to enjoy the game and the overall marketing of emotes and skins is nowhere near as invasive as it is in Roblox. In fact many of the players I see while in-game have default skins, indicating a regular casual player base. However, although game seems to be maintaining its popularity, it has several bugs that appear to be be persistent. Bugs that the developers claim have been resolved. Some can be addressed by players. Other at present cannot.
I find the concept of in-game radio stations fascinating. They’re an enjoyable aspect of open world video games and I have discovered several artists this way. They’re certainly a big deal as far as Rockstar Games are concerned, because the music selected for GTA VI is another important facet of the overall marketing campaign. So far, between two trailers and the sprawling extended look on Netflix, it has been determined that Tom Petty, the Pointer Sisters, Sexyy Red, Depeche Mode, Phil Collins, Birdman, Lil Wayne and the Bellamy Brothers are all part of the game soundtrack. That’s a very eclectic selection so far. Furthermore, there will be a 34 track album released on physical media (vinyl and CD) in conjunction with Atlantic Records.
Two years ago I wrote a post about fine tuning your graphics in the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online. Apart from installing ReShade and using AMD Adrenalin, the options were somewhat limited, due to the game’s age and multiplayer status. Since then, I’ve been playing LOTRO with the game settings maxed out, a custom ReShade profile to make the colour palette more vivid and Radeon Image Sharpening enabled within the AMD software. The game looks clear, crisp and the draw distance is pretty good for an ageing game but I still wish the graphics could be tweaked further. Hence, I’ve been trawling the internet in a vain attempt to see if I can find any third party utilities that could be used to enhance LOTRO further. During the course of my search I stumbled across DLSS 5 Manager. This is an open-source, intelligent utility and one-click mod installer designed to inject and manage Nvidia's DLSS 5 neural rendering features, ReShade, and OptiScaler into PC games.
Hellraiser (1987) was one of he most innovative and intelligent horror films of the eighties, with its cerebral and sophisticated exploration of pleasure, pain and the supernatural. Sadly what was a great concept for a single film was turned into yet another horror franchise. The resulting series of increasingly inferior sequels ultimately diminished the central idea. However, in recent years several horror “brands” have found a new lease of life via the medium of video games, so the announcement of Hellraiser: Revival last summer piqued my interest. The fact that author Clive Barker was directly involved certainly raised my expectations. However, even though video games have a history of depicting sex and violence, would the medium be able to fully embrace the true nature of Barker’s original novella and original film. Having played through the newly released demo for Hellraiser: Revival, I believe the answer is a yes.
Are video games becoming easier? It’s a perennial subject that is frequently discussed by those who play them. Often the question of whether they have actually become easier is not the focus of the debate, as it seems to be broadly recognised that it is the case. Instead, discussion of this matter tend to drift into the rectitude of this change. Debate’s of this nature are usually awash with subjective opinions and personal preferences which are then put forward as objective facts. It’s not just a question of video games becoming easier, it’s the fact that making them easier is “wrong” and those who want them as such are “not proper gamers” etc. The hours that have been lost to this pointless, tedious debate are uncountable. However, I digress. Let us return to the matter of video games becoming easier, because although fans discuss this a lot and have plenty to say, you don’t often hear from the developers on this subject.
Some video games lend themselves to being set aside and resumed at a later date with zero consequences. These are often casual games with no major goals other than having fun while playing them. Fall Guys is a great example of this. You have a cartoony avatar that participates in zany group races, filled with obstacles. You run, jump, climb but the controls are far from difficult. You may well become skilled but such things are mitigated by the other players as they stumble around. You’re not at the mercy of apex players or “try hards”. It is not a game about winning and mastering techniques. The fun comes from playing it and the unique experience you have each time. I’ve been playing this game, on and off, since it’s launch in 2020 and in that time I have only ever won once (winning requires you to win a series of 4 to six individual races). However, whenever I pick up my controller and play Fall Guys, I have fun and the game lifts my spirits.
I recently completed the main story in Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon. In total I spent about sixty hours playing the game. I began at the start of the year, then took a break for a while but returned to it recently because I wanted to see if I could unlock a specific ending. I did manage to do this. Like so many other RPGs, Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon has a central storyline, along with a wealth of side quests, based around factions in specific zones. I think I possibly completed about a two thirds of these. However, once I finished the main story, my interest in the game began to wane. I finally left my character in the last major quest hub in case I wish to return at a future date. I then logged out of the game and uninstalled it from my PC to free up space for whatever I was to play next. In this case its The Sinking City 2. None of this is a negative reflection on Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon. I enjoyed the time I spent playing this quirky RPG. I simply had my fill and left to play something else.
On Tuesday 11th April, Aspyr Media rather surprisingly re-released The Lord of the Rings: War in the North, a co-op action-RPG from 2011. This game was delisted in late 2019, possibly due to changing rights ownership or a license expiring. Hence, I was somewhat discombobulated by the return of this title to all major gaming platforms. Mind you, the Embracer Group (through its subsidiary Middle-earth Enterprises) still controls the worldwide commercial and video game licensing rights for The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Furthermore they have explicitly stated that they have plans for more games. It would appear this also means re-releasing and updating old favourites. It is also worth noting that they own Aspyr Media, which is also a bit of a giveaway. Let it suffice to say that this re-release and sparked enthusiastic online debate as to whether any other he Lord of the Rings themed games from the same era will receive a similar makeover. Judging by the internet chatter, there’s potentially a market for them.
The next expansion for the MMORG, The Lord of the Rings Online, was announced on the 1st August, via the gaming website MMORPG.The Wolves of Mordor, which will launch later in the year, appears ambitious in scope as it will include two new game systems as well as the obligatory story update. This expansion takes place in Draugardh located in the North East of Mordor, beyond the Plateau of Gorgoroth. It includes the new zones of Heledhris, Parth Rhavas and Nan Ogol. These vary environmentally ranging from the arid, volcanic and semi-tropical. Players will encounter the Daugrim in these regions, Werewolves but not in the modern sense. This is not the lycanthropy of Eastern European legends but in the established Tolkien idiom of fell spirits inhabiting the bodies of Wolves. The region also sees the return of the Woses and players can expect to encounter Elves and scouts from Gondor. As ever with LOTRO expansions, there will be new instances as well as a raid.
This is a post about the power of nostalgia and how sometimes, interacting with something from your past, be it physically or mentally, can produce a very strong and tangible emotional reaction. In some instances, this can be the result of something that you have specifically set out to do. On other occasions you can wander into a sense of nostalgia purely by chance. Today I experienced a very strong sense of nostalgia while watching a YouTube video and then again when I sought to replicate what I had seen. The video showed someone installing Windows 95 on to an old 486 PC from that era. The Window’s start up sound really touched a nerve (but in a good way) and then when the guy in the video launched Space Cadet 3D Pinball, a game that shipped with the operating system, I felt a strong compulsion to track down a copy and install the game myself, thus revisiting something that was an integral part of my life in 1995.
RV There Yet? is possibly the most entertaining game I’ve never played. My vicarious pleasure regarding this title has come exclusively from watching two popular YouTubers, JackFrags and WillFromWork, play through the game over a series of videos. It has been immensely amusing to watch and I have empathised a great deal as the group of four players has struggled with the game’s unpredictable mechanics and their own team’s dynamic. I could go and buy RV There Yet? myself but I doubt if I would ever have a gaming experience anywhere close to what I’ve watched online recently. So in some respects watching these videos has been an interesting alternative as I’ve been entertained, which ultimately is the point of video games. Perhaps there is a deeper philosophical point here that the game developers should reflect upon, as they’ve lost a potential sale. However, that is separate discussion for another day.
I don’t keep up with gaming news as much as I use to but several noteworthy announcement have come to my attention of late. Firstly, there’s an expansion, Songs of the Past, coming for the Witcher III: Wild Hunt in 2027. No doubt this is to pave the way for the Witcher IV. Next, I also found out about Hand of Fate: Horde. I liked this franchise and was saddened to learn that the original studio, Defiant Development, closed. Hence is was a pleasant surprise to see this new game being developed by members of the original studio. The third announcement was regarding Guild Wars 3. A new MMORPG in active development by a major studio is no small feat and is certainly good news for fans of this franchise and the genre per se. However, once you look beyond this news this announcement raises several questions and has certainly given me pause for thought. Let us take a few moments to consider them.
Star Trek Online has many in-game systems that are common to the MMORPG genre. The reputation system is one such example. In STO there are 13 reputation factions. Once a player has reached level 50 they may start progressing through the 6 reputation tiers of each one. Players gain progression through daily projects (20 hours in duration). Hourly projects are also available though they yield less reputation advancement and are limited to three times a day. Hence 20 hour projects are consider by default the most efficient way to gain rep. Projects require 30 Faction Specific Marks (earned via various activities in-game), 15,000 Energy Credits (standard in-game currency) and 2000 Expertise points. The most efficient way to tackle the reputation grind is to build up the necessary resources in advance and then at a designated time each day, start all 13 respective projects. Upon completion projects yield a player bound lockbox containing a random space or ground weapon, a console or Elite Marks which can be used to acquire faction gear.
I was recently perusing my archive of old blog posts, when it struck me how much I’ve written about the MMORPG genre over the years. Naturally, there was far more material from between 2008 and 2012 as that was period when I immersed myself in the genre and was very enthusiastic about it. I was at a point in my life when I had the time to dedicate to such games and I was happy to participate in the social aspect of they offered. I would regularly play through group content and spend time socialising online with fellow guild members. My experience remains a textbook example of how online games can be more than the sum of their parts and that where you are at in your life has a major impact upon your overall enjoyment. As I read though various old posts it became clear that my experiences where specific to this particular part of my life and that they cannot be repeated. My relationship with the genre is very different now and that’s fine.
Creating alts is an integral aspect of the MMORPG genre. Many players will create a character of a specific class or faction, play it for a while, lose interest in it or they may decide that it is just not for them. Fortunately it is no effort at all to simply re-roll a new alt and set off once again. Furthermore, lots of players never reach level cap of the MMORPG that there playing. When the going get’s tough, so to speak, you can either soldier on for another 50 levels or simply create a new alt and return to the comfort of tried and tested content. Alts also give you the chance to secure an accolade or achievement that you previously missed. They are also of great benefit to the genres social aspects. Creating a new alt so you can play along with a friend who is just starting is great fun. Developer’s love them too as it means you’re still playing the game.
I recently took a break from Crimson Desert choosing instead to to play something familiar and easy going. As I’ve been logging into Star Trek Online daily to participate in the anniversary event, I decided to look through my various alts and see how far they had progressed through the game and what resources they had. At present I have twelve alts. My primary Captain was created in 2015 during the original Delta Recruit Event. I had previously played STO intermittently since its release in January 2010 but I never kept any of those characters. Hence this decade old Tactical Federation Captain has been my main focus when playing. The other eleven alts are the result of other recruitment events or whenever I wanted to try something different, such as playing a specific class or faction. I obviously played a lot of STO during the lockdown as several alts date from that period. Several had maximum reputation across all factions.
The action, open world RPG Crimson Desert has been patched five times since it launched on March 19th and there have also been multiple hotfixes. At first glance this isn’t anything unusual. New games have bugs and issues arise once a game is released and played across a much wider variety of hardware than in QA testing. However, if you read the patch notes that accompany these sizeable downloads it quickly becomes apparent that developer’s Pearl Abyss are not just addressing bugs and software glitches. They are actively engaging with their player base and responding to suggestions and requests from that community. Although this is not a unique approach, what is surprising is the speed and quantity in which these player driven changes are happening. There seems to be an active ongoing process to refine the game and eliminate some of its “rough edges” and the players are contributing to this process with their feedback.
According to my Steam statistics, I last played Starfield on 19th December 2023. I bought the game upon its release in September of that year and played in total for 136 hours. Starfield held my interest for three and a half month and I wrote seven blog posts about various aspects of the game. Although there were some engaging aspects to Starfield, I did feel that that the game was somewhat lacking in systems and content, at that point in its lifecycle. I also think that the marketing and player expectations associated with Starfield were overblown and unrealistic. The shadow of Skyrim looms large over all new Bethesda releases and they don’t seem able to quite recapture that magic. Hence, I inevitably drifted away from Starfield and to another game and was effectively “done” with it. I have not played the game since which seems to validate the theory that game are becoming increasingly more ephemeral.
13 days after its release, market analysts estimate that Crimson Desert has already earned $200 million across the four main platforms (PC, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X and S). The game is certainly proving popular among gamers with the internet awash with live streams and “let’s play” videos. However, reviews are mixed both among gaming journalists and YouTube influencers. Common complaints about the game include that it is slow to start, the controls are poorly laid out on all platforms and that developer’s Pearl Abyss have done a poor job of explaining most aspects of the game to new players. Although such criticisms are true to a degree, I think these complaints highlight how many gamers are conditioned to expect new titles to follow a specific pattern with regard to pacing, narrative exposition and learning in-game systems. A pattern that Pearl Abyss has chosen to ignore, instead favouring an old school approach.
Blaugust 2023: A Personal Introduction
The first thing that springs to mind with such a post is the song “Introduce Yourself” by Faith No More, from their 1987 album of the same name. Ah, the power of word association. I was twenty back in 1987. Young, optimistic, trying to figure out what I wanted to do in life. I finally joined the UK civil service the following year as it was a practical solution to an unresolved question. But I digress. My personal employment history is not the point of this post as I don’t think I am personally defined by my line of work. So what actually does define a person? Their actions? The company they keep? John Saxon’s character, Roper, in the film Enter the Dragon.said “a man's strength can be measured by his appetites. Indeed, a man's strength flows from his appetites”. But he was wearing flared trousers so I remain sceptical of such a philosophy. As for me, I like to write. Always have done.
Faith No More were a “popular beat combo” from the 80s and 90s
The first thing that springs to mind with such a post is the song “Introduce Yourself” by Faith No More, from their 1987 album of the same name. Ah, the power of word association. I was twenty back in 1987. Young, optimistic, trying to figure out what I wanted to do in life. I finally joined the UK civil service the following year as it was a practical solution to an unresolved question. But I digress. My personal employment history is not the point of this post as I don’t think I am personally defined by my line of work. So what actually does define a person? Their actions? The company they keep? John Saxon’s character, Roper, in the film Enter the Dragon.said “a man's strength can be measured by his appetites. Indeed, a man's strength flows from his appetites”. But he was wearing flared trousers so I remain sceptical of such a philosophy. As for me, I like to write. Always have done.
I have written several posts in the past extolling the virtues of blogging. It serves a different purpose to other forms of content creation, affording a very personal means of communicating and expressing yourself. It is also invaluable for collating your thoughts and processing the world around you. It has a very cathartic quality and certainly will provide a form of self therapy if that is what you’re seeking. I also think there is a political dimension to writing. Too often these days we are encouraged to immerse ourselves in the trivial or get angry about bogus problems and false narratives. Writing is a means to see beyond such spurious things. To escape the confines of the boundaries set by others. It also challenges the status quo by sharing your own thoughts and opinions with others. And if that all sounds a little too pretentious or highfalutin for you, it’s also good fun.
Carl Sagan was a clever fellow
That’s the pitch out of the way, let’s talk about other things I like doing. I am a man of a certain age (55) and I enjoy traditional comforts, such as good food and wine. I don’t obsess over food and its associated cultural baggage, as in the modern idiom. I just like a “spot of lunch” and welcome meals from both ends of the culinary spectrum. I like reading and learning stuff. By that I mean proper stuff, not crazy bullshit posted on YouTube by some whack job. I recently finished The Dragons of Eden by Carl Sagan which was most illuminating. I try to read at least one book a month and nowadays tend to favour non-fiction over fiction, although I’m partial to some William Hope Hodgson. I am a big fan of cinema and watch films from all countries and all periods of time. It is an artform I take seriously and I cannot survive on a diet of superhero movies. I also like to walk for pleasure and regularly blog about my various day trips and holidays. I’m also a very political animal but am not affiliated to any specific party or ideology.
I have retired early, after a traumatic six years caring for my sick parents. I have plenty to keep myself occupied and seldom find myself at a loose end. It is my ambition now to ride out the remaining years of my life with the minimum amount of hassle and bullshit. I keep my expectations low and as a result I enjoy the simple pleasures in life, such as an unexpected sandwich and a chance encounter with a friendly cat at a bus stop. I laugh a lot as it is free and makes me feel slightly better about all the terrible things I see, that I’m powerless to change. All of the worst people I’ve encountered in life have lacked a sense of humour. I try hard not to hate things and people as such feeling tend to have a detrimental effect on everything. However, I agree with what Doctor M’Benga said recently in an episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. “There are some things in this world that don’t deserve forgiveness”. I also think that there’s only one correct way to put the toilet paper on the holder. The Spanish Inquisition burned people for less.
Doctor M’Benga is possibly the most interesting character in Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
So that’s me. Well some of me at least. I don’t consider myself a complicated individual. But I like to think I have some depth to me. I hope you are enjoying Blaugust, especially if you’re one of the new people who signed up at the start of the month. I sincerely hope you find support, inspiration and camaraderie within the Blaugust community and that you also find your niche. There’s a lot of experience out there to draw upon and hopefully a lot of positive affirmation coming your way. If I can offer just one piece of advice to anyone who is grappling with blogging at the present, it is that if you keep doing something, learn from your mistakes and just persevere then you will get better at it. Unless you are the UK government but that’s another story.
I felt that this years Blaugust: Festival of Blogging was a success and I personally enjoyed it a great deal. However, I also thought it prudent to seek the opinion of others who took part in the event, as ultimately that is what it’s all about. Hence I posted the Blaugust 2026 Participant Survey at the beginning of September and left it online for 3 weeks. The questions were straightforward and unambiguous. Did you enjoy the festival. Did you participate in the group writing prompts. Did you achieve your writing goals. Then there where questions about what additions, if any, you’d like to see added to Blaugust in the future. All pretty standard stuff for a post event questionnaire. Well the results have been analysed and here is a summary of the results. The intention is to see if there are any specific trends revealed in the feedback and to then discuss any potential course of action as a result. As ever feel free to leave comments below.
It is obligatory to start these sorts of posts by reiterating the standard mantra that you should not be driven by your websites stats and that the data they contain can be unreliable. Although a sound philosophy in principle, it is actually more nuanced than that. Such data can be useful for growth if used wisely. I have never been coy about trying to increase my readership. For me it seems an integral aspect of blogging. Over the course of 2026, the traffic to Contains Moderate Peril has doubled. A lot of that is down to curious spikes in visits which seems to be AI scraping the entire site. Setting aside these anomalies, more people are reading posts and a lot are doing so via the site’s RSS feed. All of which is fine by me as growing the audience for this blog was a goal for this year, I am quite pleased by this development and the ongoing progress. I hope it continues.
There is a subtle difference between being rash and being proactive. Being rash means acting too fast without thinking about the results, while being proactive is a question of acting early with careful planning. Why have I mentioned this? Well prima facie information indicates that recent Blaugust participants are interested in an “official” online presence for the annual festival of blogging, other than that existing Discord server. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Not everyone likes using Discord and I do worry that they may reduce its free functionality at some point in the future. With regard to there being a Blaugust platform of some kind, there is a consensus that it doesn’t need to be some sort of sprawling commercially hosted website running on Wix or such like. Those sorts of site require funding, a degree of admin and possibly private data management. It also a bit too “corporate” if you like. Hence the logical compromise is to have a static site. Let it suffice to say, that has been done.
Judging by the posts I’ve read, it would appear that Blaugust 2026: Festival of Blogging has been well received by those who participated in it. That is most satisfying to know, especially in light of the fact that this is the first year the event has been run without our founder who sadly past away in July. It has also become clear that Blaugust is reaching a far wider and diverse audience and most definitely is no longer the exclusive province of bloggers from one particular community. There has been healthy discussions on our Discord server about whether this year event needs to adapt to accommodate the modern blogosphere. Questions such as whether or not there needs to be a dedicated Blaugust website have been raised and explored. Should every site participating have an RSS feed? How, if required, should comments be handled. Inevitably, the subject of the use of AI in blogging still remains a controversial issue.
After a very productive month of writing, we come to the final Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt. It is titled lessons learned and is usually a chance to reflect on the festival and whether or not it has been to one’s satisfaction. Have you achieved your goals? What have you gained from the experience? Those sorts of things. It also poses two further questions; “What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?” and “what’s the best advice you’ve ever given to someone else?” for your consideration. I’ll address the questions shortly. Firstly let’s mull over this years event and assess how it’s gone.
It was my blogging anniversary on the 16th August. I’ve been writing and sharing my post online for 19 years, via various different websites and blogs. This current iteration of Contains Moderate Peril has been around since August 2015. To date it has 2,171 posts including this one. Quantity does not necessarily equate to quality but there are some articles I am proud of and feel that they make their point effectively.
This week’s Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt is an important topic. Namely, staying motivated. I prepared a fairly lengthy post with some advice and ideas to keep people focused and writing. Then I checked it against the post I wrote last year and the year before that, going back to blogging events from 2012. All of these posts broadly said the same thing, so I decided to scrap what I had composed for today and to go with a simpler approach. I shall answer the questions Krikket posed for this writing prompt. Fellow blogger Bhagpuss has also done so and as ever, his thoughts are interesting and well expressed. Here are my answers.
Once again, I have stumbled across an interesting debate that has provided me with an opportunity to write a blog post. Over on the Blaugust Discord Server, I read a comment from AgingGamer regarding RSS feeds and their significance with regard to blogging. This in turn referred me to a post by fyr (don’t you love all these nom de plumes) who wrote at depth about the ongoing community debate about the use of RSS/Atom feeds. The article explored the importance of such feeds with regard to reaching readers and providing accessibility to the disabled. All of which provided me with a great deal of food for thought. Mainly because I use a mainstream website service provider for my online endeavours, so RSS is by default built. I’ve never really considered not having such a facility at my disposal. But the rise in the IndieWeb scene challenges this assumption.
I have written two blog posts today that I have subsequently abandoned. The first was gaming related but when I was about halfway through writing it, I felt like I was covering old ground and just repeating myself. It was also regarding an issue that can’t really be fixed. Namely, how do you ensure that matchmaking in PVP games is done equitably. As there is no solution to this issue at present, or at least not one that all parties can agree on, I decided to ditch it. Similarly a post I was working on about what becomes of my blog if anything happens to me was curtailed. In light of recent events in our community it seemed inappropriate. However, as a result of binning two blog posts, I new idea occurred to me. Do my fellow bloggers self-edit and curtail what they write about? Is your blog totally unfiltered or do you apply a set of rules that determine what content is deemed acceptable?
It is time for the next Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt. This one comes with two lines of enquiry. The first is an opportunity to “introduce yourself”. Over the years, I have written several introductory posts for previous Blaugust events. Rather than repeat myself I’ll just link to the last one, which was posted in August 2023. I haven’t radically charged since then apart from my hair going whiter. The next part of the prompt poses a far more intriguing question. “If you could have one magical power or super power, what would you choose and what would you use it for?”, which offers much for consideration. Having given this proposition much thought here is my response.
A decade ago I wrote a post about blogrolls and the practical and social issues surrounding them. At the time, the version of Squarespace I was using didn’t easily support such things or at least wasn’t able to do so in a manner I liked, so I didn’t have one. Ten years later Squarespace as a hosting platform has far greater functionality, hence I recently decided to add a blogroll. That was in March this year. However it just wasn’t really fit for purpose. So I decided to revise it a few days ago and rather than just have a traditional list of blogs in a side column, I ended up producing a more comprehensive blog directory, which list two hundred plus sites alpha-numerically. I’ve been tinkering with it on and off and I am now finally happy with it. The latest update reflects the international nature of the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging and the fact that we have many blogs written in their native language. Translating text is now an integral function of web browsers, so I see no reason why these blogs should be excluded.
Today’s post is part of the Blaugust 2026 Group project, which features a series of writing prompts set for specific dates throughout the month. The idea being that everyone who wishes to participate can write about the same subject, riff off each other’s posts and enjoy a shared experience. In many respect having a common writing prompt levels the playing field and provides a sense of common purpose among those who take part. Today’s group project prompt asks the question “tell us all about your very first blog”. An unambiguous and interesting question that will hopefully prove enjoyable to write about and informative to others.
I have been writing online for nearly two decades. I don’t claim to be good or accomplished but what I can say with certainty is that the more often you write, the easier it becomes. For those who are new to writing a blog and the Blaugust Festival of Blogging, possibly the biggest hurdle that you now have to get over, is writing your first post of the month. You spent the lead up to this event sorting out your blog templates, fine tuning the backend and possibly banking some ideas. Or you may have decided to just wing it and make it all up as you go along. Both are perfectly valid approaches. However, there is one thing left to do that cannot be put off, avoided or danced around. Writing. At some point you’ve got to do it. Or bail on the event. The proverbial “shit or get off the pot”.
If you take a cursory look at a calendar you will see that the month of July is fast coming to an end. That means that Blaugust 2026 Festival of Blogging starts in a few days time! If you’re participating, or thinking of doing so, the next few days present a golden opportunity to do some practical organising and basic preparation. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Feel free to just do things as they come, so to speak, if that’s your approach. However, for most of us, it helps if we have some kind of plan in place and make some arrangements in advance. I personally prefer this approach and like to have some ideas for blog posts in the bank. It is also useful to have “options” if something doesn’t go to plan. For those who are new to Blaugust, here are a few ideas regarding preparation that may be of use to you. As ever, your personal mileage may vary and ultimately you are best off adopting a strategy that suits your writing style and personal schedule.
Prior to last year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging, I upgraded Contains Moderate Peril to the latest version of Squarespace. There are still some aspects of the site that need fine tuning but overall, I am happy with the appearance of my blog and its respective functionality. With this year’s writing event fast approach, I decided to tackle over the last few days, some of those finer points that need tweaking. I have wanted a post counter on the site for a long time but unfortunately there is no native Squarespace widget for this basic function. I also felt the need to upgrade the blogroll, as the current one didn’t support RSS feeds from certain sites (e.g. Google Blogger) and was dependent upon a third party service, Elfsight, which wasn’t ideal. Both of these issues have now been addressed and I am pleased with the results. There is now a post counter on the Blog Archive page, which seems a logical place to have it and the Blogroll is now far more comprehensive.
Next month the annual Blaugust: Festival of Blogging begins. Roundabout this time each year, I try to write a promotional post to raise awareness of the event and encourage potential participants. However, as I’ve done this quite a few times before, each year it is becomes increasingly difficult to present the essential facts about Blaugust: Festival of Blogging in an interesting fashion. There’s nothing worse than writing a post and feeling that you’re just covering old ground. So, this year, I thought I’d try something different and present the most important information about this annual event, as if it were a conversation between myself and an interested passer by. Feel free to attribute novelty voices for each party in your own head, while you read this. If it helps, try imagining that this discussion is happening between two celebrities or such like. Both may be wearing exotic hats but I digress. On with the scenario.
I read a blog post by Void recently, about finding a new internet home. He wrote about how he and many others have had to pick up their “digital roots” and migrate multiple times over the years, from one platform to another. It is a position I can sympathise with as I have done likewise. Hence I like the idea of having a place online where I hangout by default. My own blog is an anchor for me but it is not quite the same thing as a platform or online portal where I can find all my friends and colleagues, share content and shoot the breeze. It’s a curious thing, because as I typed that last sentence it struck how such a sentiment may seem alien to others. There may well be people who like to have a finger in multiple pies and who are happy to frequent and flit between various social media apps, Discord servers and subreddits. I prefer to focus my efforts on a single instance. A place that suits my requirements, allows me to put down roots and become part of the furniture. Like a virtual Diogenes Club.
Everyday, once I’m up, I sit at my desk in my office, fire up my PC and log into Feedly. I have various RSS feeds grouped by category, which I slowly trawl through and read anything that catches my eye. I have one curated feed named “Blaugust” named after the yearly festival of blogging event. It has over 250 blogs listed, many of which are former participants. Most of these regularly post. Hence there’s a lot to get through and so I don’t read all of them. However there are a few that I always checkout. Mainly because they’re the personal musings of some of our writing community’s oldest and most prodigious members. The sorts of guys and gals who are part of the furniture. They’ve always been there and it feels like they always will. Posting their thoughts, sharing their enthusiasm and spreading the love, so to speak. One of these blogs, is Tales of the Aggronaut. written by Belghast.
On Friday 26th June, I had another random spike in internet traffic to Contains Moderate Peril. The statistical package that comes with my Squarespace account recorded over 13k visits in less than 24 hours, which is not typical (although I wish it was). However, all of these visits to my blog arrived via the default homepage and spent between 1 and 2 minutes there. Hence, it was obvious that this was not human traffic, as there was no evidence of any searches being made of content that is available on my site, nor of the “visitors” clicking on any of the links on the top menu and viewing other posts. This was undoubtedly AI traffic arriving at the designated homepage and simply parsing the site. I had a similar spate of this sort of web traffic last November. The only difference on that occasion is that the traffic all came from China. This time round it hailed from the US. I suspect that this is something that will happen more often as companies set their AI loose on the net for what is effectively training.
I recently watched a video on Patreon by someone who I actively support as a “content creator” and whose work I enjoy. I shall provide no more detail regarding their identity because they may not want their work referenced with regard to what I am going to say. During the course of their video they briefly referenced the work put into promoting a podcast they are currently producing and the relatively low audience that it has garnered so far. The comments were an aside and most certainly not said with any sense of self-pity. They were simply a statement of fact. Furthermore, I suspect they are far from unique and similar sentiments have been expressed in one way or another by anyone who has created something the published it online, only for it to be lost among the greater white noise” of the wider internet.
When I first started blogging way back in 2007, I maintained a blogroll of all my colleagues and peers’ websites. At the time this was a common practice and a way to support an expanding community. I considered this such an important aspect of the blogging scene at the time, I created a website to aggregate posts from video game blogs, called The Gaming Blog Nexus. It ran for two years and proved quite useful. However, it was tricky to administer and would frequently break as a lot of the back end widgets and plugins were created and maintained by “gifted amateurs”. I eventually shut it down due to the operating costs. When I moved my own website, Contains Moderate Peril, to Squarespace in 2015 I intended to start maintaining a blogroll once again. However, at that time there was no native support for such a thing on the platform. Hence for the last ten years, I have not had a blogroll on my website, which hasn’t sat well with me.
I was speaking to someone recently about hobbies (fortunately it wasn’t Simon Quinlank) and I mentioned that I have maintained a blog for over a 19 years. When I talked about the ongoing cost they were most surprised, as they had assumed that blogging was something that could be done for free. I guess we’ve become so accustomed to the provision of free online services such as email, that this a reasonable assumption. I pointed out that although it is indeed possible to blog for free using Blogger, it was not the optimal approach, especially if you want to maintain some degree of control over your writing. Naturally, the next question they asked was how much do I spend and I gave them a ballpark figure. All of which reminded me that I wrote a post on this very subject a few years ago. So I’ve decided to revisit the subject and see how much it currently costs to maintain Contains Moderate Peril.
Today I started the slow process of auditing every post that has been published on Contains Moderate Peril since 1st August 2016. The goal is to correct any obvious typos and replace all existing images with larger ones. The Squarespace software upgrade I applied to the website at the end of last year has finally allowed me to establish a standard format that I am happy with. Hence the ongoing audit is the perfect opportunity to apply these style rules to all posts. There are also some technical issues and matters regarding functionality that need to be addressed. I need to determine how to embed YouTube videos in such a way that they automatically scale to fit whatever device is viewing them. Another area which needs improving is the website search facility. This needs refinement so that enquiries can be more specific. Older posts also need to be more accessible, although I am still researching how best to achieve this.
It’s nearly two and half months since the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event ended. During that time I’ve maintained a fairly regular writing schedule and I post every two days or so. Furthermore, I finally dragged my blog template, kicking and screaming, into the modern era. I tweaked a few pages and updated the content of the “about” page. The next task is to start going through all previous posts and replacing older, low resolution images with larger, more appropriate ones. This process also presents an opportunity to ensure that all posts follow a uniform style. IE Are appropriately categorised, have links to related posts at the bottom and are SEO optimised. This will be a lengthy task so I think the best approach will be to tackle two or three posts a day. Hopefully this will raise the profile of older content, which generates the lion’s hare of traffic to this site.
I use a browser extension called Control Panel for YouTube, which allows me to determine who many videos are displayed on my YouTube homepage and to filter the content that is shown. At present it is configured to display rows of six. Something that I have noticed of late, is the amount of videos with hyperbolic titles and thumbnail images created by AI. Both of which are design choices made to increase engagement. Clickbait titles are contrived to meet current SEO optimisation criteria and as such feature more and more in search results. The fact that they frequently have no relation to the subject I am researching, seems to be neither here nor there. The same issues arise with regard to AI generated images, which again frequently have no bearing on the matter. The fact that more and more content creators do this, infers that it works and is now an essential part of the process you must follow to be seen and featured in search results.
In the last post in this series, I specified the need for a plan with regard to upgrading my blog. Well a plan has emerged, been refined and has now been formally adopted. Rather than migrate Contains Moderate Peril to a new platform and effectively have to rebuild all the content, I am going to upgrade my existing presence on Squarespace. This decision was made for two reasons. Time and money. Migrating to a new platform will take a lot of time and incur additional costs. Upgrading the existing website will take less time and has no cost implications. That is not to say that it will be easy. It has become abundantly clear that the upgrade process will break stuff and that all published posts will have to be manually repaired. Hence my choice boils down to the lesser of two evils.
This year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging has reached an end and it would appear that this event has been well received by those who have participated in it. I believe that there were 168 bloggers taking part this year, many of whom have not participated before. Some were new to blogging, where others simply wished to see if they could increase their writing output. As ever there was a wide variety of blog styles and subject matters and it has been most interesting to read new posts every day. I have attempted to leave comments and positive feedback where I can and I hope that some of these new blogs that I’ve discovered continue to write. Well done to everyone who took part. I hope it has been an enjoyable and informative process and that you have learned from it. I know that at least one blogger has determined that writing online is not for them, which is a valuable lesson.
There is currently a group writing prompt available as part of this year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging which has piqued my interest. It asks the question “what is the oldest draft post you have” and suggests that it is revived in some manner. I have dozens of draft posts in a folder in my Google Drive. Many are film reviews or film related. The oldest of which dates back to summer 2010. Rather than write a straight forward review of Blake Edwards 1968 comedy The Party, I rather foolishly thought at the time that I’d tackle the issue of whether the film is sufficiently racist to make it beyond the pale. Let it suffice to say that I quickly found myself bogged down in the complexities of the subject and thus never completed the blog post.
I’ve participated in every previous Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event. Prior to that I was involved in the Newbie Blogger Initiative or NBI as it was affectionately known. I have therefore written quite a lot of blogging advice and suggestions over the years. If anyone feels disposed to do so, you can access them all by clicking on the “blogging” option on the top menu of this blog. However, it is important to remember that a lot of the ideas I have advocated and written about over the years are purely subjective. Not all advice or guidance works for everyone. People have different ideas about blogging, different approaches to it and different aspirations. This year has highlighted some quite distinct differences among bloggers which has been most illuminating.
Prohibition (2011)
Despite being an analysis of the past there is a portentous air about Ken Burns and Lynn Novick’s Prohibition. A fascinating five-and-a-half-hour documentary produced for PBS in 2011. The history of this disastrous experiment, the banning of alcoholic beverages, is a textbook example of how the transactional nature of US politics can be effectively used upon “wedge” issues. Prohibition follows the format and style of Burns previous documentaries such as the Civil War (1990) and The War (2007) with the wider subject broken down and analysed according to protagonists, events and the political background. Specific historical figures and key players are followed throughout the documentary’s narrative, giving viewers a sense of focus. Hence we meet the hatchet-wielding Carrie Nation, Wayne Wheeler from the Anti-Saloon League and media savvy gangsters like Al Capone. It is interesting to note that some themes continue from Burns’ previous work, such as the political and cultural conflict between native-born Americans and European immigrants. The rural heartlands versus the big cities.
Despite being an analysis of the past there is a portentous air about Ken Burns and Lynn Novick’s Prohibition. A fascinating five-and-a-half-hour documentary produced for PBS in 2011. The history of this disastrous experiment, the banning of alcoholic beverages, is a textbook example of how the transactional nature of US politics can be effectively used upon “wedge” issues. Prohibition follows the format and style of Burns previous documentaries such as the Civil War (1990) and The War (2007) with the wider subject broken down and analysed according to protagonists, events and the political background. Specific historical figures and key players are followed throughout the documentary’s narrative, giving viewers a sense of focus. Hence we meet the hatchet-wielding Carrie Nation, Wayne Wheeler from the Anti-Saloon League and media savvy gangsters like Al Capone. It is interesting to note that some themes continue from Burns’ previous work, such as the political and cultural conflict between native-born Americans and European immigrants. The rural heartlands versus the big cities.
The first episode, “A Nation of Drunkards,” explores the growth of the temperance movement in preindustrial America as a pushback against alcoholism and specifically, “the saloon” as a source of public drunkenness, domestic abuse and poverty. Americans were a nation of drinkers right from the start. Mainly because brewing was the primary means of making water drinkable. However, an influx of European immigrants to the major cities introduced new drinking customs that fueled the problem. Hence many brewers and distillers were established to meet demand. The temperance movement grew in power and managed to restrict alcohol sales in Maine in 1851. Yet the alcohol lobby was slow to react to this existential threat, assuming that the tax revenue raised on alcohol negated any attempt of a national prohibition. However,the ratification of the 16th Amendment and the introduction of income tax in 1913 paved the way for a political push for a nationwide ban. In 1919 the 18th Amendment prohibiting the manufacture, sale or importing of alcohol was ratified.
The second part of Prohibition, is “A Nation of Scofflaws” (the origin of this and many other words is a fascinating aspect of the series). Legal scholar, Noah Feldman, succinctly observes “To pass a law, in the real world, means nothing. To enforce the law means everything.” To enforce the new constitutional amendment, the administration created the Volstead Act but it was vague and underfinanced, with an inadequate number of law enforcement officials tasked with stopping the drinking habits of millions of Americans. It is here that Mr. Burns and Ms. Novick, play their hand well. The criminal opportunities that arose from prohibition were staggering. Rather than overwhelm viewers with a tsunami of data, they elect to focus on a handful of well known bootleggers to make their point. The scenes of violence stemming from organised crime are well known but the deaths and illnesses caused by unregulated and potentially poisonous alcohol are not so well publicised.
The utter failure of the 18th Amendment is addressed in the final instalment, “A Nation of Hypocrites”. It documents the run up to its repeal in 1933. Again a perfect storm of events set the political chess board in such a fashion that repeal was not only possible but politically expedient. The great depression and subsequent economic fallout required the tax revenue that alcohol brought. Plus, there was an increasing concern that a nation of willing law breakers was detrimental to democracy. So an additional amendment was made to negate the effects of the 18th. It was expected to be a long and drawn out process but self-correction was remarkably quick in governmental terms. Historian Catherine Gilbert Murdock muses upon how a political lobbying success ultimately failed due to its own intransigence. “The dry movement in the late 1920s had an opportunity to capitalise on its success and modify the most egregious issues within the Volstead Act and the enforcement of prohibition, but refused to. In their extremism, they eliminated all moderate support.” Perhaps if the excesses of prohibition had been mollified, the act would have lasted much longer.
As ever with Ken Burns’ documentaries, the historians and experts that provide insight and analysis are complemented by a broad selection of quotes from correspondence and period texts, by all the major parties. Peter Coyote narrates in a focused and engaging fashion. Prohibition also features the voice talents of John Lithgow, Sam Waterston and Samuel L. Jackson. What Prohibition does successfully is make its point without bludgeoning the viewer with the obvious lessons for those who currently seek to legislate personal and moral behaviour. Burns and Novick let the story of the 18th Amendment speak for itself. The message is not that laws based on restricting rights of citizens, as opposed to protecting them, are ultimately destined to fail. It’s that social engineering of this nature can result in far more problematic consequences. Prohibition is fascinating viewing and extremely relatable, due to the ubiquity of drinking in so many cultures.
Music by John Williams is a documentary celebration of the famous composer and his illustrious body of work. It provides some interesting biographical background information as to how the man was born into a family of talented musicians. It then traces his rise from pianist for hire to the most well known film composer today. Along the way, anyone who is anyone in film and music appears to heap justifiable praise upon him and his body of work. It also features a continuous medley of John Williams’ greatest hits, as it catalogues his work in broadly chronological order. Music by John Williams is an upbeat and positive love letter to the composer and exactly what you would expect, when you consider that the documentary was produced by his friends and peers.
Despite being an analysis of the past there is a portentous air about Ken Burns and Lynn Novick’s Prohibition. A fascinating five-and-a-half-hour documentary produced for PBS in 2011. The history of this disastrous experiment, the banning of alcoholic beverages, is a textbook example of how the transactional nature of US politics can be effectively used upon “wedge” issues. Prohibition follows the format and style of Burns previous documentaries such as the Civil War (1990) and The War (2007) with the wider subject broken down and analysed according to protagonists, events and the political background. Specific historical figures and key players are followed throughout the documentary’s narrative, giving viewers a sense of focus. Hence we meet the hatchet-wielding Carrie Nation, Wayne Wheeler from the Anti-Saloon League and media savvy gangsters like Al Capone. It is interesting to note that some themes continue from Burns’ previous work, such as the political and cultural conflict between native-born Americans and European immigrants. The rural heartlands versus the big cities.
Joel Allen Schroeder's documentary Dear Mr. Watterson is a curious beast insofar that it takes some time before it decides exactly what it wants to focus upon. It begins by examining the cultural impact of the hugely popular comic strip “Calvin & Hobbes” and what it means to people around the world. However, little information is given about the creator, Bill Watterson beyond a very simple biography. Joel Allen Schroeder’s also makes no attempt to contact and interview the reclusive Mr. Watterson to find out more about the man and his iconic work. Instead, the documentary eventually settles into an assessment of Watterson’s work by other industry luminaries and a broader accounting of the overall decline of the newspaper cartoon as a social institution. The presentation is bright, stylish and there’s a lot of love for the subject but it takes some time before it commits to a specific approach.
“Kurt Vonnegut: Unstuck in Time” is a sprawling, non-linear eulogy to the to the life of writer Kurt Vonnegut, by Emmy-winning director Robert B. Weide (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”), who was a friend of Vonnegut's throughout the last 25 years of his life. Weide himself features heavily throughout the two hour running time, which is something Weide says he usually hates in documentaries. However, what unfolds is a story of a documentary maker who wanted to film his idol and was granted an opportunity to do so in the early eighties. The project was never completed and both Weide and Vonnegut continuously returned to it over the years as their friendship grew, leading to Weide eventually becoming Vonnegut’s personal archivist. However, despite this curious relationship, this is still very much a film about Kurt Vonnegut, the author, the social commentator and the man. It becomes quite clear why he is considered one of the most important writers of the 20th century.
Benjamin Franklin is in many ways the most interesting of the American Founding Fathers. A self taught man who went on to become a polymath. An inventor, accomplished writer and publisher. A diplomat who successfully held multiple public offices. A loyalist who went on to become a “reluctant revolutionary”. A slave owner who eventually became an abolitionist. A questionable parent who favoured specific children over others, as well as a negligent husband. Franklin was all these things, as Ken Burns’ documentary takes great pains to highlight. A broad cross section of historians tackle these foibles and contradictions from multiple perspectives. As Joseph J. Ellis states, Benjamin Franklin was “a Nobel-calibre scientist, the greatest prose stylist of his generation, and probably the greatest diplomat in American history”. His legacy is chronologically analysed over four hours in two distinct episodes.
Giuseppe Tornatore’s sprawling documentary Ennio, is a finely detailed and absorbing exploration of prolific and iconic Italian composer Ennio Morricone. Despite its very traditional approach to its subject matter, looking at Morricone’s career chronologically, intercut with celebrity talking heads, it still manages to convey the unorthodox, innovative and experimental nature of the composer. The 156 minute running time is not necessarily the impediment that one expects. Rather it is the sheer weight of the emotional impact that comes from Morricone’s music that is at times overwhelming. Archival footage and a new and comprehensive interview recorded just prior to the composer’s death in 2020 is intercut with a wealth of audio cues and concert footage from a broad cross section of his work. The result is most illuminating with regard to the man and his approach to composing. The conclusion backed by many of those interviewed is that Ennio Morricone has shaped the nature of film music and elevated it to an artform.
Gerry Anderson: A Life Uncharted is a documentary that focuses specifically on the man, rather than the shows that he created. If you are more interested in the latter then you would be better off watching Filmed in Supermarionation (2014), which provides a comprehensive overview of all productions, wrapped in a cosy blanket of nostalgia and fandom. Gerry Anderson: A Life Uncharted offers a more challenging viewing experience due to its honesty and candour. Gerry Anderson had a difficult childhood and suffered a bereavement early in life. During the course of this 88 minute exploration of his life it becomes clear that these traumas both drove his creativity as well as marred his own personal life. Furthermore, this documentary is also about a son looking for answers, as Jamie Anderson attempts to learn more about his father’s past.
Star Trek documentaries are very much like Bruce Lee documentaries, in so far as they’re both a saturated market and more often than not, new content frequently ends up covering the same ground. However, fans tend to watch anything new in the hope that they will find a few new nuggets of information. Brian Volk-Weiss’ new 11 part series, The Center Seat: 55 years of Star Trek, not only covers established facts about the iconic show but also expands upon them as well as providing a wealth of new information. Volk-Weiss has previously explored popular culture with documentaries such as The Toys That Made Us and The Movies That Made Us. The Center Seat: 55 years of Star Trek is an in-depth chronological study of the Star Trek franchise, from its creation at Desilu Productions in 1965 all the way through to the latest iterations, Star Trek: Picard and Star Trek: Discovery.
Shatner in Space is a 45 minute documentary about the 90 year old actor, William Shatner and his recent foray into space via Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin sub-orbital spaceflight service. Considering the provenance of this entire undertaking, attitudes in general towards billionaires and the obvious publicity seeking hubris of sending a cultural icon into space, it’s easy to dismiss Shatner in Space as nothing more than a very, very expensive infomercial. However, the quiet dignity of Mr Shatner whose age and experience means that he draws a very different conclusion from his space flight than his fellow passengers, is utterly compelling and possibly a little profound. If you can endure the soulless polish of the scenes with an immaculately staged managed Jeff Bezos, then you’ll be rewarded with the philosophical musings of a man approaching the end of his life who is naturally curious about his own mortality.
I am not a fan of conspiracy theories, nor those who are heavily invested in them. There are many reasons to repudiate such ideas but for me the main one is just a simple observation on human nature. Any major conspiracy, plot or cover up requires large swaths of people to participate and remain quiet about the facts. Yet one of the most common attributes of the human condition is peoples total inability to shut up. Simply put, most conspiracy theories don’t hold water because someone would have blabbed. Hence, documentaries about how the moon landings were faked or how 9/11 was an “inside job” tend not to “butter any parsnips” with me. However, JFK Revisited: Through the Looking Glass is a surprisingly different beast. I was surprised by its measured approach and its inferred conclusion. Has old age mellowed the filmmaker Oliver Stone?
Television programmes that deal with the so-called supernatural, mysterious and the unexplained are commonplace these days. They fill the schedules of channels that used to broadcast quality wildlife, historical and scientific documentaries. All too often these shows focus on the sensational nature of their subject matter and lack any real objectivity, analysis and scientific rigour. The idea is not to impartially explore a subject to determine its veracity but to simply provide a degree of spectacle for as broad a viewing demographic as possible. However, that was not always the case. Back in 1980, Yorkshire Television produced Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World. A high profile exploration thirteen-part British television series looking at unexplained phenomena from around the world. The presence of Clarke, who introduced and book-ended the various subjects the show explored, brought a degree of impartiality and credibility to the proceedings.
Over the years I have seen many documentaries about World War II. Although I do not claim in any way to be an expert, I believe I have a good grasp on the causes and the course of that six year conflict. However, it recently struck me that I could not say the same about World War I. In my youth I watched a repeat showing of the BBC documentary series The Great War (1964) but I remember very little of its prodigious 26 episodes. The one thing that stood out were the interviews with veterans. So I was very pleased when perusing BritBox over the weekend to find the 2003 documentary The First World War, based upon the book of the same name by Professor Hew Strachan. This ten part analysis takes a global view of the conflict, rather than excessively focusing upon the Western Front and also debunks a lot of the apocryphal ideas and notions that have persisted over the years. I found it so compelling that I binged watched the entire thing over two evenings.
The music business is a strange, interesting and broad church. A spectrum of musical styles and personalities all fulfilling the needs of different markets. There are pop stars who are buoyant but ephemeral. Then there are singer/songwriters who take their work seriously as they express their critique of the human condition via their music. There are also style icons, novelty acts, indie bands, lounge crooners and a myriad of other niche acts, all doing their own thing. And occasionally there are enigmas. Artists and bands that fly in the face of prevailing trends and commercial interest, who do consider their work to be an artistic endeavour and an expression of themselves and as such, do not see the virtue of personal compromise or corporate interests. Esoteric musicians who reinvent themselves continuously as they grow and age. Constantly defying the expectations of both their own fans and naysayers. Sparks are such a musical entity and the subject of a fascinating documentary by director Edgar Wright.
Carl Sagan's seminal science documentary Cosmos: A Personal Voyage was initially broadcast in the US between 28th September and 21st December 1980. Six months later it was shown in the UK on BBC One throughout the summer of 1981. I was thirteen years old at the time and this science documentary series had a tremendous impact upon not only me but an entire generation. The complexity of some of the subjects explored and discussed by Carl Sagan often left me perplexed. However, I knew that there was something special about this show and the way it presented science in such a personal manner. Therefore, I found myself going to both my local and school library to further read about the topics raised in each episode. But perhaps the most standout aspect of the show was Sagan himself. His commentary delivered directly to the camera was both enthralling and lyrical. His love and enthusiasm was palpable and clearly bled through into every aspect of the show. His ability to communicate clearly, complex and at times esoteric ideas, was a revelation and in many ways a gift. Similar to that of Jacob Bronowski and David Attenborough.
There was a time when film making was seen as an artistic endeavour and the idea of the auteur director pursuing a vision was considered a romantic and even noble undertaking. Big multi-million-dollar productions were welcomed when they filmed on location, providing work and glamour to the local population. The might of the dollar would often grease the wheels of industry, making the impossible possible. Egos were massaged, and actors were indulged and treated like minor deities. Huge sets would appear in the middle of nowhere, like Victorian follies and luxury items would be flown around the world to placate the capricious nature of the various Hollywood stars. Money would flow like water, much to the dismay of the producers, sitting back in the offices in the US or Europe. But this era has now past. Big budget movies are still made but it is now driven by corporate accounting and artistic vision is no longer a primary consideration. It is now a rather soulless business process. Hence a movie such as Apocalypse Now would never be made today in the same manner that it was back in 1976 when the production started.
MR James: Ghost Writer is a sixty-minute documentary written and presented by Mark Gatiss, exploring the life of Britain's foremost ghost story writer. Gatiss, a long-time admirer of James, delves in to the life of the author from his devout Anglican upbringing and close-knit family life, through to his ascent to the summit of academia at King's college, Cambridge. The program seeks to discover what motivated this scholarly bachelor to create some of the most iconic and chilling ghost stories in English literature. By following in James’s footsteps, the documentary attempts to gain a greater insight in to the enigmatic author.
Wisconsin Death Trip is a strange, enigmatic, non-linear docudrama and that makes for compelling viewing for the open minded. It is based upon the 1973 non-fiction book Wisconsin Death Trip by Michael Lesy, which explores a collection of late 19th century photographs by Jackson County, photographer Charles Van Schaick. These are mainly taken in the city of Black River Falls. The authentic black and white pictures are further embellished by local news reports from the same period, predominantly taken from the Black River Falls newspaper. These articles emphasise the harsh aspects of Midwestern rural life under the pressures of crime, disease, mental illness, and urbanization. The book has been a source of influence over the years, with authors such as Stephen King and Rod Jones citing the impact its had upon their respective work. Film maker James Marsh has subsequently taken this curious microcosm of rural life and death and extrapolated it a compelling reflection upon mortality and the fragility of human existence.
Dean Haglund is best known for playing Richard Langly, one of the Lone Gunmen on The X-Files. In recent years has capitalised upon that role and has become closely identified with the realm of the paranormal and the world of conspiracy theories. The documentary The Truth Is Out There follows Dean as he travels the US and attempts to discover just what it means to search for the truth in a world where conspiracies theories, untruths and fake news abound. The documentary directed by Phil Leirness, humorously takes the viewer on a journey of discovery, talking to those who believe that the world is not what it seems.
Once again Jamie Benning has created a filmumentary that is pretty much a definitive exploration of its subject matter. Inside Jaws contains a staggering amount of facts, details, insight and commentary about one of the greatest films ever made. Yet despite a wealth of information, it is presented in a way that is easily digestible and enhances the movie, rather than overwhelms it. As with Star Wars Begins, the original movie is annotated with on-screen text, commentary tracks and behind the scenes footage, which provide incisive overview into the movies production.
Star Wars Begins is a detailed documentary by film maker Jamie Benning that explores the creation of what is now considered to be the most iconic movie of the seventies; namely Star Wars. It features a wealth of deleted scenes, alternate takes, behind-the-scenes footage, bloopers, original on set audio recordings and a great deal of commentary by the original cast and crew. As far as I’m concerned, it is the most thorough and in-depth analysis of Star Wars I have yet to see. Frankly it beats hands down, any of the officially sanctioned documentaries that have appeared over the year on the various DVD and Blu-ray releases of the trilogy.
Indie Game: The Movie is a genuinely fascinating documentary not only about the machinations video games industry but also the blood, sweat and tears that go into any creative process. It is a film that really does give you pause for thought and encourages you to reflect upon what you may want in life. It clearly shows the true cost and the star reality of any labour of love. It should be required viewing in schools and colleges for any wannabe who dreams of being on a reality shows and achieving a fast path to their perceived heart’s desire. Such is the impact of the documentary’s message.
Despite having played a broad spectrum of games in my time, I've never really had much dealings with the Blizzard. Beyond owning Overwatch, a game I’ve long stopped playing and trying a free trial of both World of Warcraft and Hearthstone, I have little personal experience of their games. However, I am fully aware of their product range and their reputation within the gaming industry. Overwatch has taught me how well-conceived and polished their games can be. Blizzard may not be incredibly innovative, but they learn from others and produce titles with all the elements that work well. Sadly, I have no real affinity to their flagship MMORPG, as my point of entry with that genre was LOTRO. My interest in World of Warcraft mainly stems from a business perspective and the place it holds in gaming history. Overall my curiosity about the game, its community and culture is mainly academic. So, I finally got around to watching the documentary World of Warcraft: Looking for Group that showcased at Blizzcon in 2014 and was subsequently released on You Tube thereafter.
Certain groups just lend themselves to ridicule from the media and in popular culture in general, irrespective of whether they deserve it or not. Star Wars fans are a prime example of this. Their love of the lore, predilection for cosplay and hunger for collectables at first glance makes them an easy target. Film maker Mark Edlitz, takes a decidedly different approach in his documentary Jedi Junkies. Instead of finger-pointing and making cheap jokes, Jedi Junkies puts a very human face on a group of enthusiasts, showing their passion to be in essence, no different to that of sports fans or other more mainstream hobbies and pastimes.
After watching several hours of the documentary, The Vietnam War, one has to wonder at the utter inability of the US government of the time, to think outside the box during the period of that conflict. Seldom does a military, political, and social analysis of an historical event go this deep. During its eighteen hour running time directors Ken Burns and Lynn Novick cover a wealth of issues associated with this conflict, exploring it from multiple perspectives. Not only do they shine a light upon the hubris and folly of both respective governments, they manage to keep a very intimate and human perspective. Personal stories from both sides are told and if there is a common theme, it is sadly one of tragedy and regret.
Considering the mainstream popularity of gaming, there is a distinct lack of related content on television. Journalist, writer and social commentator Charlie Brooker attempted to address this in 2009 with Gameswipe but the show remained a one-off production. Then again in late 2013, he had another crack at the subject with the documentary How Videogames Changed the World, providing a broad overview on the genre, exploring key events and titles from the past forty years. As ever with Mr. Brooker, the commentary was intelligent and acerbic. There was also an interesting and diverse selection of talking heads who spoke from personal experience, rather than the usual scripted garrulous inanities.
Constance Marks’ documentary explores the story of Kevin Clash, the man who effectively "was" Seasame Street's Elmo until 2014. The film charts Kevin Clash's rise from his modest beginnings in Baltimore to his success as a globally famous character and a major player in the Henson family of puppeteers. The documentary manages to maintain a good balance between examining the mechanics of puppetry and focusing on the human impact of Kevin's work. Like so many documentaries of these type, it clearly shows that achieving your dreams always comes with a cost and is often immensely arduous. It also reveals the complexity of something we take for granted and possibly trivialise, namely puppetry. Filmed in 2011 the documentary does not cover Kevin Clash’s resignation from “Seasame Workshop” three years later.
Documentaries about the fans and fandom often lack any impartiality and frequently have their own agenda, be it positive or negative. Looking at the names associated with Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan's Hope, it’s fairly clear from the outset that this is not going to be an overtly critical undertaking. Director Morgan Spurlock follows five attendees during San Diego Comic-Con 2010 as they endeavour to fulfil their ambitions. The fans are immediately presented in a fairly positive way and as the documentary proceeds the viewer gets the opportunity to form their own opinion about the lifestyles, choices and philosophies. The documentary is also interspersed with talking heads from known genre luminaries such a Joss Wheedon, Kevin Smith and Stan Lee, who provide some interesting and quite frank views on Comic-Con as well as the wider fan scene.
The documentary Mifune: The Last Samurai is both an exploration and celebration of the Japanese actor Toshiro Mifune (1920-1997), narrated by Keanu Reeves. Over the course of seventy minutes his life and body of work is critiqued by his industry peers as well as several cinematic luminaries such as Martin Scorsese and Steven Speilberg. The focus is very much upon the man himself, as his personality was integral to his acting technique. For those unfamiliar with classic Japanese cinema during its golden age, the documentary provides a broad and practical overview. It also includes a brief history of the chanbara (sword fighting) genre, as well as a concise and honest analysis of Mifune’s career.
Going to the Supermarket
When I was a child growing up in the seventies, my parents used local shops such as the grocers, butchers and bakers for their regular shopping needs. All were small, independent, family run businesses. Sadly, those days are long gone. Nowadays, most of us go to a supermarket or local store of some kind, for our respective shopping requirements. The frequency of such visits may depend on your pay cycle and whether you prefer to shop daily, weekly or monthly. In the UK, store loyalty has been an important factor for many years. More recently, because of the cost of living crisis, many shoppers are now going to stores where it is more economical. Store and brand loyalty are being tested and not necessarily winning. The march of online shopping has also stalled, as convenience is no longer trumping cost. Things are changing and changing fast. Who said retail was dull?
Sainsbury’s Crayford
When I was a child growing up in the seventies, my parents used local shops such as the grocers, butchers and bakers for their regular shopping needs. All were small, independent, family run businesses. Sadly, those days are long gone. Nowadays, most of us go to a supermarket or local store of some kind, for our respective shopping requirements. The frequency of such visits may depend on your pay cycle and whether you prefer to shop daily, weekly or monthly. In the UK, store loyalty has been an important factor for many years. More recently, because of the cost of living crisis, many shoppers are now going to stores where it is more economical. Store and brand loyalty are being tested and not necessarily winning. The march of online shopping has also stalled, as convenience is no longer trumping cost. Things are changing and changing fast. Who said retail was dull?
Mrs P and I go to Sainsbury’s at Crayford twice a month. We supplement these major shopping expeditions with additional ad hoc visits to smaller, local stores. Sainsbury’s is the second biggest supermarket chain in the UK with an annual turnover of £33 billion. It occupies the top tier of the UK supermarket industry, although its appeal has broadened in recent years as it has aggressively expanded its discount policy. We usually shop at the Crayford branch because it is the biggest store in the area and the largest in the UK of this particular chain. There are several advantages to using this particular store. It does not require a pound coin to unlock the shopping trolley. More importantly, due to its size the Crayford Sainsbury’s carries a much broader range of stock than smaller local stores, which focus mainly on what sells the most.
A selection of mushrooms
Like many people, we have a shopping routine. We go armed with a list of items we know that we require but we also investigate most isles to find any interesting special offers. We work our way through the store in a logical fashion so unlike The Clash, we’re never lost in the supermarket. There are some products that we always buy a specific brand of, such as coffee, sausages, eggs. However, in recent years we have become less entrenched in such practices and experiment a lot. Stores own brands have improved greatly both at the luxury and “value” end of the market. We therefore buy a lot of products that are Sainsbury’s own brand. As a retired couple, we prepare about two thirds of our weekly meals from scratch. The rest tend to be ready meals or frozen foods for convenience. Quality is a key factor when we shop. We would rather pay a little more for something that is good, than endure a cheaper and potentially inferior product.
After we finish perusing the shelves we will sometimes go to the mezzanine floor of Crayford Sainsbury’s, as it has a clothing department. This is especially good for children’s clothes and school uniforms. Again a lot of the products are exclusive to Sainsbury’s who have their own clothing range by Tu. I often buy t-shirts, socks, fleeces and hoodies here as the prices are significantly cheaper than branded names, yet the quality is good. There is also a substantial home section in the Caryford store which sells bedding, towels, kitchenware and electrical goods. I often find myself drifting towards the stationary much to Mrs P’s chagrin. When we finally have everything we need, we opt to use the traditional checkouts manned by a member of staff, rather than self service, which I strongly oppose. We have a specific bag packing regime that I still have yet to fully master, again much to Mrs P’s annoyance. It is somewhere between atomic weight and the Dewey Decimal system.
Cheese
Store snobbery and store loyalty are major factors in the UK supermarket hierarchy. The UK is a country riven by social distinctions and it permeates everything including where you shop and what you buy. We go to Sainsbury’s mainly because of food quality and choice. There is a wide variety of fresh fruit and vegetables available. Often this extends into multiple choices of specific items, such as mushrooms. I have a liking for cheese and the store stocks many types from all over the UK and Europe. The meat and fish is sourced mainly from the UK and is excellent quality. Another factor that is important to us is the range of product sizes. Smaller households do not always require the same quantity of a product and it is nice to be able to buy the amount that you need and no more. In the past Sainsbury’s used to charge a premium for its upmarket standing but in recent years they have attempted to price match other stores. Customers with store loyalty cards often can buy popular products at noticeably cheaper prices.
However, although I don’t mind going shopping at the store in person, I do find that the volume of customers can be an impediment at times. But then again the human factor is the Achilles Heel of most business enterprises. Hence Mrs P and I tend to go early in the morning in the middle of the week, when crowds are less. Also, during the pandemic, I very much enjoyed the convenience of home deliveries and still use them to bulk buy specific items like 2 litre bottles of carbonated drinks, wine and beer. Although the latter items do greatly increase the cost of shopping. On average a couple in the UK spend about £280 - £300 a month on food shopping. We spend nearer £450 a month, although that total is higher due to alcohol which is currently increasing in price. We also buy more than two people need due to ad hoc visits by grandchildren.
Red wine
Although it is customary to talk about quality and choice with regard to supermarkets, in reality most people in the UK shop where they can afford, as opposed to where they’d actually like. However, German chains Aldi and Lidl have recently upset the status quo by courting the discount market, yet still providing good quality products. In the seventies, where you shopped was very much a social marker. This is no longer the case and stores such as Aldi have a very eclectic customer base. We go there exclusively for household cleaning products, with their own brands of washing detergent and fabric conditioner being excellent but far more economical than leading brands. The UK is also at a turning point with regard to food supply, having left the EU. Just in time supply chains are no longer just in time and the country is having to rethink its sourcing strategy. In the meantime food inflation is high. As a result customers are being a lot more canny about what they buy and where from.
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
Hype and Starfield
Hype.
Noun: Extravagant or intensive publicity or promotion.” His first album hit the stores amid a storm of hype”.
Verb: Promote or publicise (a product or idea) intensively, often exaggerating its benefits.
“An industry quick to hype its products”,
Until recently I have gone out of my way to avoid any promotional material regarding Starfield, the forthcoming RPG from Bethesda Game Studios. However, as the September 6th release date is approaching, I finally decided to watch the following YouTube video in order to make a measured judgement about exactly what the game has to offer. Let it suffice to say that if you take the video at face value, then Starfield is potentially a revolutionary video game. However, upon mature reflection and sober consideration, I have chosen not to take the claims made in the video as gospel. As far as I’m concerned this is not regular marketing, as it goes beyond the scope of briefing potential buyers about the product. Instead I would define the videos as pure and unabashed hype, as specified in the two definitions at the start of this post. And hype is a very problematic phenomenon.
Hype.
Noun: Extravagant or intensive publicity or promotion.” His first album hit the stores amid a storm of hype”.
Verb: Promote or publicise (a product or idea) intensively, often exaggerating its benefits. “An industry quick to hype its products”,
Until recently I have gone out of my way to avoid any promotional material regarding Starfield, the forthcoming RPG from Bethesda Game Studios. However, as the September 6th release date is approaching, I finally decided to watch the following YouTube video in order to make a measured judgement about exactly what the game has to offer. Let it suffice to say that if you take the video at face value, then Starfield is potentially a revolutionary video game. However, upon mature reflection and sober consideration, I have chosen not to take the claims made in the video as gospel. As far as I’m concerned this is not regular marketing, as it goes beyond the scope of briefing potential buyers about the product. Instead I would define the videos as pure and unabashed hype, as specified in the two definitions at the start of this post. And hype is a very problematic phenomenon.
Marketing video games has always been dependent upon effectively generating and harnessing fan expectation. The game that doesn’t elicit any player excitement has a pretty steep hill to climb. However, most games can be marketed by a mixture of in-game footage and invoking the aspirational qualities the advertising company seeks to imbue it with. Sadly in recent years there has been an increasing propensity to over promise and under deliver. Bogus claims are made about the scope of a game, in respect of what it does and doesn’t include. Sometimes, bespoke demos are released that are of a different quality to the final product. Hence the past decade has seen a litany of underwhelming, incomplete and at times plain broken video games. Some haven’t even been released beyond alpha testing, despite languishing in development for years. Therefore it is not surprising that many gamers feel that Starfield will follow suit.
But the blame for the current culture of excessive marketing hype cannot be laid solely at the door of advertising agencies. Gamers themselves are also culpable in this symbiotic process. After numerous examples of games that promised the earth and delivered little and the resulting fallout, you would think that a canny customer base would be more sceptical and unwilling to buy into any new false narrative. Yet as The Amazing Randi found out, debunking a bogus claim does not necessarily result in a consumer epiphany. Despite the debacle of No Man’s Sky and Cyberpunk 2077, many gamers will temporarily cease to function as reasoning adults and will work themselves up into a frenzy of hysterical expectation, like a child on Christmas Eve. It is a staggeringly unedifying spectacle and incredibly self defeating.
When writing about such a subject and a cycle of events that is broadly acknowledged to be counterproductive to all concerned, it is customary to end on a positive note. Usually this takes the form of an expectation of change for the better. There is a hope that one day, all parties will learn from their experience and adjust their behaviour accordingly. However, I do not think we are at that point yet or that it is going to happen any time soon. There is a strong chance that Starfield is not going to live up to the hype. Bethesda Game Studios may well end up with egg on its face yet again, as it did with Fallout 76 and the infamous “canvas bag” debacle. If that is the case, it will be virtually impossible to feel any sympathy for those gamers who decry the potential lacklustre nature of the game, having embraced the hype. In such a situation the phrase “a plague upon both your houses” comes to mind. As does “rinse and repeat”.
I began work on Project Questa on the 27th of September, because I couldn’t get Khazad Voice TTS to work on my PC. Since then I’ve spent several days a week working on my AI narrator utility and have made steady progress. Last time I wrote about the project the production pipeline ran as follows. DXCam, OpenCV, Windows OCR and Microsoft Speech API (SAPI). Over time, I determined that Tesseract was a better OCR and that Kokoro TTS produced superior narration. However, in the last week I found that constant fine tuning across different aspects of the production process was not really producing any significant improvements. The main problems were capturing text from dialogue windows that required scrolling, as well as overall latency in producing narration. A delay over 5 seconds is too long in my assessment. Hence I decided to fundamentally change the overall approach to dialogue capture.
I started playing MMOs in late 2008 by which time the genre was clearly established and dominated by one particular title, World of Warcraft. I chose to play The Lord of the Rings Online, mainly because of my love for the intellectual property the game is based upon. I still play LOTRO today. However, I was very aware of popularity and significance of WoW at the time. It pretty much set the rules for how you design a MMO and it did much to move on from the previous gameplay parameters set by such titles as Ultima Online and EverQuest. It was also the MMO that every other developer was trying to beat. Another compelling factor regarding WoW is that everyone I knew at the time was either actively playing it or had done so at some point. It was for many gamers, the go-to title for socialising. Finally around early 2010, I tried a free trail of WoW to “see what all the fuss was about”. Simply put, I felt that it wasn’t for me.
Over the course of the last 16 years, the MMORPG Star Trek Online has changed greatly. What started as a disjointed, rushed game with unfinished systems and a lack of overall cohesion has now evolved into streamlined MMO with clearly defined systems and very strong narrative arcs. Let it suffice to say that STO makes very good use of its license and the intellectual property it is built upon. Although new content has been continuously added to STO over time and refinements are regularly rolled out, the developer’s have also removed content from the game in the past, that they feel is substandard or too dated in it presentation. Hence in October 2018 Cryptic took out the following eight missions from the game, with the proviso that they would be updated and replaced at a latter date. Until fairly recently, STO players had given up hope on this ever happening and the episodes being reinstated. Eight years is a long time.
One of the things that I enjoy when playing a new video game is character customisation or character creation. I will spend hours trawling through settings, changing the most minute and consequential aspects of my avatars appearance. I am certain that there is a psychological aspect to this particular game mechanic and that it says something about you as a person. Are your creations shaped just by a need to look good in-game or is there more to it? Are they external manifestations of your sexual preferences or thoughts on body image. Do you treat them as characters from a book that exists in your mind. Do you aspire to recreate the likeness of people you know or admire? Do you strive to make your avatar look like you? Whatever the reasons, it would seem that character creation is something that a lot of gamers enjoy. Hence I am not alone in my borderline obsession. What you look like in-game is equally as important as your character’s name.
I was playing Battlefield 6 recently and was experimenting with the mortar. If you stick with it and take some time to become familiar with its foibles, it can be an effective weapon. It can suppress the enemy, destroy equipment and provide useful cover for your own team. I remember thinking “I wonder if artillery could sustain a game on its own”. Artillery is an interesting feature in Hell Let Loose, although it is a little more complex in its game mechanics. I believe artillery is also available in Wardogs. I therefore spent a while looking online to see if there was a dedicated artillery simulator available or at least a game where it was a key feature. There nearest thing I found was Iron Nest, a dieselpunk heavy artillery game which looks interesting but isn’t quite what I seek. So I parked this idea and moved. Tonight, while perusing YouTube, I stumble across a teaser trailer for a game called Flak Simulator, currently under development by Horseman Interactive. It appears to be exactly what I am looking for.
I recently tried to use DLSS 5 Manager with the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out. Today I undertook a similar experiment with AMD Neural Rendering, which is a broadly comparable product. Both utilities use 3D-Guided Neural Rendering, an AI technology that alters how lighting, reflections, and textures look in a game. Instead of just upscaling the image like older versions, DLSS 5 uses an AI network to instantly "re-render" lighting and material responses over the game's layout, achieving photorealistic details that would normally negatively impact a graphics card's performance. Or to put it in less fancy terms, the game graphics are enhanced and modified, although it is highly subjective as to whether the end results are an improvement. However, as a game such as LOTRO is unlikely to ever receive a major graphical overhaul, tools such as these are the nearest players will get to revised graphics.
The core game code and engine for the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online, is about 24 years old. LOTRO began originally as Middle-earth Online, developed by Sierra On-Line in 1998. Turbine took over full development of the project in 2003/2004 when their parent company, Vivendi Universal Games, acquired Sierra. The content that had already been developed by Sierra was abandoned and Turbine created a new game using structural elements such as the UI and game engine from their previous release Asheron’s Call 2 from 2002. The Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar was officially released in April 2007. Hence, the active public release code is 19 years old. Despite continuous expansion and updates, along with a recent migration to 64-bit architecture, the foundations of LOTRO retains a nearly twenty year old legacy framework. This frequently contributes to modern technical hurdles and engine constraints.
A few years ago, there was a fan created project to provide voice narration of NPC dialogue in the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. This mainly involved capturing the text in the quest dialogue windows and then sending it to OCR software, before using a text-to-speech program to read it. LOTROVoice as it was known, broadly worked but the creator stopped developing it as it proved troublesome to maintain. However, I recently discovered Khazad Voice TTS which is a separate project that does pretty much the same. I went so far as to install this “immersive AI narrator for LOTRO” after seeing a YouTube video of it being used successfully. Sadly I ran into issues configuring Khazad Voice TTS, because I have two monitors and LOTRO runs on the secondary (by my choice) and not the primary. I couldn’t “lasso” the dialogue windows in LOTRO during the calibration set up, which effectively prevented me from completing the process.
Throughout yesterday and early today, there was an issue logging in to the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. Upon starting the game launcher, it would attempt to connect to the patch server to download the latest game update. This process would start but then subsequently stall at 33%. The launcher would then attempt to reconnect to the patch server every 60 seconds but could not make any further progress. Some players found that if they left it long enough, it would eventually complete the download and the launcher then progress to the next screen where they could input their username and password. However, for the majority of LOTRO players the problem would simply persists and the launcher would be stuck in a loop. Some players attempted to reinstall the game or use the repair data facility in the launcher but neither of these proved to be successful workarounds. The patch sever needed to be bypassed to resolve the issue.
I’ve been playing Fall Guys since its launch in early 2020, during the start of the pandemic. It is a fun, family friendly multiplayer game which is has proven popular with my grandchildren. Despite the game’s acquisition by Epic, it has maintained a sufficient level of popularity that has seen it ported to all major gaming platforms. Fall Guys is free to play but like most multiplayer games, there is a season pass and an in-game store. However, these monetised aspects are not essential to enjoy the game and the overall marketing of emotes and skins is nowhere near as invasive as it is in Roblox. In fact many of the players I see while in-game have default skins, indicating a regular casual player base. However, although game seems to be maintaining its popularity, it has several bugs that appear to be be persistent. Bugs that the developers claim have been resolved. Some can be addressed by players. Other at present cannot.
I find the concept of in-game radio stations fascinating. They’re an enjoyable aspect of open world video games and I have discovered several artists this way. They’re certainly a big deal as far as Rockstar Games are concerned, because the music selected for GTA VI is another important facet of the overall marketing campaign. So far, between two trailers and the sprawling extended look on Netflix, it has been determined that Tom Petty, the Pointer Sisters, Sexyy Red, Depeche Mode, Phil Collins, Birdman, Lil Wayne and the Bellamy Brothers are all part of the game soundtrack. That’s a very eclectic selection so far. Furthermore, there will be a 34 track album released on physical media (vinyl and CD) in conjunction with Atlantic Records.
Two years ago I wrote a post about fine tuning your graphics in the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online. Apart from installing ReShade and using AMD Adrenalin, the options were somewhat limited, due to the game’s age and multiplayer status. Since then, I’ve been playing LOTRO with the game settings maxed out, a custom ReShade profile to make the colour palette more vivid and Radeon Image Sharpening enabled within the AMD software. The game looks clear, crisp and the draw distance is pretty good for an ageing game but I still wish the graphics could be tweaked further. Hence, I’ve been trawling the internet in a vain attempt to see if I can find any third party utilities that could be used to enhance LOTRO further. During the course of my search I stumbled across DLSS 5 Manager. This is an open-source, intelligent utility and one-click mod installer designed to inject and manage Nvidia's DLSS 5 neural rendering features, ReShade, and OptiScaler into PC games.
Hellraiser (1987) was one of he most innovative and intelligent horror films of the eighties, with its cerebral and sophisticated exploration of pleasure, pain and the supernatural. Sadly what was a great concept for a single film was turned into yet another horror franchise. The resulting series of increasingly inferior sequels ultimately diminished the central idea. However, in recent years several horror “brands” have found a new lease of life via the medium of video games, so the announcement of Hellraiser: Revival last summer piqued my interest. The fact that author Clive Barker was directly involved certainly raised my expectations. However, even though video games have a history of depicting sex and violence, would the medium be able to fully embrace the true nature of Barker’s original novella and original film. Having played through the newly released demo for Hellraiser: Revival, I believe the answer is a yes.
Are video games becoming easier? It’s a perennial subject that is frequently discussed by those who play them. Often the question of whether they have actually become easier is not the focus of the debate, as it seems to be broadly recognised that it is the case. Instead, discussion of this matter tend to drift into the rectitude of this change. Debate’s of this nature are usually awash with subjective opinions and personal preferences which are then put forward as objective facts. It’s not just a question of video games becoming easier, it’s the fact that making them easier is “wrong” and those who want them as such are “not proper gamers” etc. The hours that have been lost to this pointless, tedious debate are uncountable. However, I digress. Let us return to the matter of video games becoming easier, because although fans discuss this a lot and have plenty to say, you don’t often hear from the developers on this subject.
Some video games lend themselves to being set aside and resumed at a later date with zero consequences. These are often casual games with no major goals other than having fun while playing them. Fall Guys is a great example of this. You have a cartoony avatar that participates in zany group races, filled with obstacles. You run, jump, climb but the controls are far from difficult. You may well become skilled but such things are mitigated by the other players as they stumble around. You’re not at the mercy of apex players or “try hards”. It is not a game about winning and mastering techniques. The fun comes from playing it and the unique experience you have each time. I’ve been playing this game, on and off, since it’s launch in 2020 and in that time I have only ever won once (winning requires you to win a series of 4 to six individual races). However, whenever I pick up my controller and play Fall Guys, I have fun and the game lifts my spirits.
I recently completed the main story in Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon. In total I spent about sixty hours playing the game. I began at the start of the year, then took a break for a while but returned to it recently because I wanted to see if I could unlock a specific ending. I did manage to do this. Like so many other RPGs, Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon has a central storyline, along with a wealth of side quests, based around factions in specific zones. I think I possibly completed about a two thirds of these. However, once I finished the main story, my interest in the game began to wane. I finally left my character in the last major quest hub in case I wish to return at a future date. I then logged out of the game and uninstalled it from my PC to free up space for whatever I was to play next. In this case its The Sinking City 2. None of this is a negative reflection on Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon. I enjoyed the time I spent playing this quirky RPG. I simply had my fill and left to play something else.
On Tuesday 11th April, Aspyr Media rather surprisingly re-released The Lord of the Rings: War in the North, a co-op action-RPG from 2011. This game was delisted in late 2019, possibly due to changing rights ownership or a license expiring. Hence, I was somewhat discombobulated by the return of this title to all major gaming platforms. Mind you, the Embracer Group (through its subsidiary Middle-earth Enterprises) still controls the worldwide commercial and video game licensing rights for The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Furthermore they have explicitly stated that they have plans for more games. It would appear this also means re-releasing and updating old favourites. It is also worth noting that they own Aspyr Media, which is also a bit of a giveaway. Let it suffice to say that this re-release and sparked enthusiastic online debate as to whether any other he Lord of the Rings themed games from the same era will receive a similar makeover. Judging by the internet chatter, there’s potentially a market for them.
The next expansion for the MMORG, The Lord of the Rings Online, was announced on the 1st August, via the gaming website MMORPG.The Wolves of Mordor, which will launch later in the year, appears ambitious in scope as it will include two new game systems as well as the obligatory story update. This expansion takes place in Draugardh located in the North East of Mordor, beyond the Plateau of Gorgoroth. It includes the new zones of Heledhris, Parth Rhavas and Nan Ogol. These vary environmentally ranging from the arid, volcanic and semi-tropical. Players will encounter the Daugrim in these regions, Werewolves but not in the modern sense. This is not the lycanthropy of Eastern European legends but in the established Tolkien idiom of fell spirits inhabiting the bodies of Wolves. The region also sees the return of the Woses and players can expect to encounter Elves and scouts from Gondor. As ever with LOTRO expansions, there will be new instances as well as a raid.
This is a post about the power of nostalgia and how sometimes, interacting with something from your past, be it physically or mentally, can produce a very strong and tangible emotional reaction. In some instances, this can be the result of something that you have specifically set out to do. On other occasions you can wander into a sense of nostalgia purely by chance. Today I experienced a very strong sense of nostalgia while watching a YouTube video and then again when I sought to replicate what I had seen. The video showed someone installing Windows 95 on to an old 486 PC from that era. The Window’s start up sound really touched a nerve (but in a good way) and then when the guy in the video launched Space Cadet 3D Pinball, a game that shipped with the operating system, I felt a strong compulsion to track down a copy and install the game myself, thus revisiting something that was an integral part of my life in 1995.
RV There Yet? is possibly the most entertaining game I’ve never played. My vicarious pleasure regarding this title has come exclusively from watching two popular YouTubers, JackFrags and WillFromWork, play through the game over a series of videos. It has been immensely amusing to watch and I have empathised a great deal as the group of four players has struggled with the game’s unpredictable mechanics and their own team’s dynamic. I could go and buy RV There Yet? myself but I doubt if I would ever have a gaming experience anywhere close to what I’ve watched online recently. So in some respects watching these videos has been an interesting alternative as I’ve been entertained, which ultimately is the point of video games. Perhaps there is a deeper philosophical point here that the game developers should reflect upon, as they’ve lost a potential sale. However, that is separate discussion for another day.
I don’t keep up with gaming news as much as I use to but several noteworthy announcement have come to my attention of late. Firstly, there’s an expansion, Songs of the Past, coming for the Witcher III: Wild Hunt in 2027. No doubt this is to pave the way for the Witcher IV. Next, I also found out about Hand of Fate: Horde. I liked this franchise and was saddened to learn that the original studio, Defiant Development, closed. Hence is was a pleasant surprise to see this new game being developed by members of the original studio. The third announcement was regarding Guild Wars 3. A new MMORPG in active development by a major studio is no small feat and is certainly good news for fans of this franchise and the genre per se. However, once you look beyond this news this announcement raises several questions and has certainly given me pause for thought. Let us take a few moments to consider them.
Star Trek Online has many in-game systems that are common to the MMORPG genre. The reputation system is one such example. In STO there are 13 reputation factions. Once a player has reached level 50 they may start progressing through the 6 reputation tiers of each one. Players gain progression through daily projects (20 hours in duration). Hourly projects are also available though they yield less reputation advancement and are limited to three times a day. Hence 20 hour projects are consider by default the most efficient way to gain rep. Projects require 30 Faction Specific Marks (earned via various activities in-game), 15,000 Energy Credits (standard in-game currency) and 2000 Expertise points. The most efficient way to tackle the reputation grind is to build up the necessary resources in advance and then at a designated time each day, start all 13 respective projects. Upon completion projects yield a player bound lockbox containing a random space or ground weapon, a console or Elite Marks which can be used to acquire faction gear.
I was recently perusing my archive of old blog posts, when it struck me how much I’ve written about the MMORPG genre over the years. Naturally, there was far more material from between 2008 and 2012 as that was period when I immersed myself in the genre and was very enthusiastic about it. I was at a point in my life when I had the time to dedicate to such games and I was happy to participate in the social aspect of they offered. I would regularly play through group content and spend time socialising online with fellow guild members. My experience remains a textbook example of how online games can be more than the sum of their parts and that where you are at in your life has a major impact upon your overall enjoyment. As I read though various old posts it became clear that my experiences where specific to this particular part of my life and that they cannot be repeated. My relationship with the genre is very different now and that’s fine.
Creating alts is an integral aspect of the MMORPG genre. Many players will create a character of a specific class or faction, play it for a while, lose interest in it or they may decide that it is just not for them. Fortunately it is no effort at all to simply re-roll a new alt and set off once again. Furthermore, lots of players never reach level cap of the MMORPG that there playing. When the going get’s tough, so to speak, you can either soldier on for another 50 levels or simply create a new alt and return to the comfort of tried and tested content. Alts also give you the chance to secure an accolade or achievement that you previously missed. They are also of great benefit to the genres social aspects. Creating a new alt so you can play along with a friend who is just starting is great fun. Developer’s love them too as it means you’re still playing the game.
I recently took a break from Crimson Desert choosing instead to to play something familiar and easy going. As I’ve been logging into Star Trek Online daily to participate in the anniversary event, I decided to look through my various alts and see how far they had progressed through the game and what resources they had. At present I have twelve alts. My primary Captain was created in 2015 during the original Delta Recruit Event. I had previously played STO intermittently since its release in January 2010 but I never kept any of those characters. Hence this decade old Tactical Federation Captain has been my main focus when playing. The other eleven alts are the result of other recruitment events or whenever I wanted to try something different, such as playing a specific class or faction. I obviously played a lot of STO during the lockdown as several alts date from that period. Several had maximum reputation across all factions.
The action, open world RPG Crimson Desert has been patched five times since it launched on March 19th and there have also been multiple hotfixes. At first glance this isn’t anything unusual. New games have bugs and issues arise once a game is released and played across a much wider variety of hardware than in QA testing. However, if you read the patch notes that accompany these sizeable downloads it quickly becomes apparent that developer’s Pearl Abyss are not just addressing bugs and software glitches. They are actively engaging with their player base and responding to suggestions and requests from that community. Although this is not a unique approach, what is surprising is the speed and quantity in which these player driven changes are happening. There seems to be an active ongoing process to refine the game and eliminate some of its “rough edges” and the players are contributing to this process with their feedback.
According to my Steam statistics, I last played Starfield on 19th December 2023. I bought the game upon its release in September of that year and played in total for 136 hours. Starfield held my interest for three and a half month and I wrote seven blog posts about various aspects of the game. Although there were some engaging aspects to Starfield, I did feel that that the game was somewhat lacking in systems and content, at that point in its lifecycle. I also think that the marketing and player expectations associated with Starfield were overblown and unrealistic. The shadow of Skyrim looms large over all new Bethesda releases and they don’t seem able to quite recapture that magic. Hence, I inevitably drifted away from Starfield and to another game and was effectively “done” with it. I have not played the game since which seems to validate the theory that game are becoming increasingly more ephemeral.
13 days after its release, market analysts estimate that Crimson Desert has already earned $200 million across the four main platforms (PC, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X and S). The game is certainly proving popular among gamers with the internet awash with live streams and “let’s play” videos. However, reviews are mixed both among gaming journalists and YouTube influencers. Common complaints about the game include that it is slow to start, the controls are poorly laid out on all platforms and that developer’s Pearl Abyss have done a poor job of explaining most aspects of the game to new players. Although such criticisms are true to a degree, I think these complaints highlight how many gamers are conditioned to expect new titles to follow a specific pattern with regard to pacing, narrative exposition and learning in-game systems. A pattern that Pearl Abyss has chosen to ignore, instead favouring an old school approach.
10 Questions from ChatGPT and Cosmopolitan
Great, it’s internet question time once again. Regular readers will already know that I really like these sorts of things. Unlike Sparks, I do have the time to answer questionnaires. Despite the fact that such articles are often considered lightweight writing, I do believe that even the most vacuous line of enquiry can yield an interesting post. This time round I have a diverse set of questions from two very different sources. The first five are courtesy of ChatGPT, which seems just as capable of asking sublimely asinine questions as real people. The next five come from Cosmopolitan. A publication and website that you wouldn’t immediately associate with me. However, out of the various questions available on both sites, I have chosen ten that I think have scope for reasoned debate and interesting answers. Thanks very much to UltrViolet and Hamatti for providing the aforementioned lines of enquiry.
Great, it’s internet question time once again. Regular readers will already know that I really like these sorts of things. Unlike Sparks, I do have the time to answer questionnaires. Despite the fact that such articles are often considered lightweight writing, I do believe that even the most vacuous line of enquiry can yield an interesting post. This time round I have a diverse set of questions from two very different sources. The first five are courtesy of ChatGPT, which seems just as capable of asking sublimely asinine questions as real people. The next five come from Cosmopolitan. A publication and website that you wouldn’t immediately associate with me. However, out of the various questions available on both sites, I have chosen ten that I think have scope for reasoned debate and interesting answers. Thanks very much to UltrViolet and Hamatti for providing the aforementioned lines of enquiry.
Q: If you could teleport to any place on Earth right now, where would you go and what adventures would you have there?
A: I am a very bad traveller. I dislike the hassle and discomfort associated with modern travel. I hate being confined in a car for more than 3 hours and I simply am not wealthy enough to travel by any other means in the manner I would like. IE First class. The idea of a Star Trek transporter to travel around the world really appeals to me. The inconvenience associated with travel is instantly negated. You could visit somewhere exotic first thing in the morning and then return home within hours if it suited you. Instant access to the culture of the world. Some people may argue that the hardships of travel are part of the experience but I say “go piss up a rope”.
Q: You're given the ability to rewrite the ending of your favourite movie or book – how would you change it, and what new twists would you introduce?
A: I would change the first act of 2001: A Space Odyssey. When the ape picks up the bone, instead of using it as a club, it would have been far more amusing if he’d fashioned it into a primitive flute and regaled the other group of apes at the watering hole with a jaunty folk tune. Then from that point on, the entire film became a musical.
Q: If you were granted the ability to talk to animals for a day, which animal would you choose to converse with first, and what would you ask them?
A: Considering how abominably we treat animals, both wild and domesticated, I think it would be staggeringly arrogant to assume that they would wish to talk to us in the first place. As a society our relationship with nature is utterly broken and we have also infantilised our interactions with pets. I think it would be far more beneficial to all concerned if we left animals alone, rather than subject them to our garrulous inanities.
Q: If you could swap lives with any celebrity for a week, who would it be and how would you handle their fame and responsibilities?
A: I would swap lives with the most egregious but wealthy celebrity I could find and during my week, speak out and support the sort of social and political issues that would normally be an anathema to them. I would also give huge sums of money to charities and invest substantially in the sort of lobbying that they usually revile. It makes me smile just thinking about it.
Q: What's the most adventurous dish you've ever tried, and how did your taste buds react to this bold culinary experience?
A: In the early 2000s, I went to the Coq d'Argent restaurant in the City of London (which is the financial district of London). It serves traditional French dishes alongside bespoke and innovative dishes by Executive Head Chef, Damien Rigollet. It is the embodiment of high end dining and the fanciest restaurant I’ve been to in my life. For my starter I had Escargots de Bourgogne, which is snails from Burgundy served in garlic and parsley butter. The snails were served in their shells and I was handed what looked like a set of tools used by a gynaecologist. If you’ve had seafood before such as oysters or mussels, then snails are very similar. They are all molluscs. Overall it was very nice and the only hassle was getting the blighters out of the shells.
Q: Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
A: I do this with complex phone enquiries, such as querying a bill with a utility company. I try to ensure that I keep my inquiry short, factually correct and easy to understand. On the occasions when I call a radio phone in show, I again work out and rehearse the basics of what I am going to say, so I don’t sound like a confused, incoherent, rambling asshole.
Q: Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
A: I have more than a hunch. My Dad’s side of the family tends to live long but die of cancer. My Mum’s side mainly suffers from heart disease. I have already been diagnosed with such and I suspect from my cavalier attitude to drinking and dining well, that my fate will be similar.
Q: Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
A: The older I have become, the more passionate I have become about politics in the UK. The country is broken and unequal, with an unfair, non representative voting system. People have often said of late, “you seem very motivated and engaged, why don’t you get involved?” to which I reply, sadly, “no”. I approach socioeconomic and cultural problems from a basis of rationality, critical thought and practicality. Politics does not accommodate these at present. It is tribal, ideological and far too self serving. I would simply crash and burn if I tried to become engaged with the system as it currently exists.
Q: How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
A: I had a very good relationship with my late mother. We were very similar, which is why we could clash at times but similarly, we could appreciate each other’s perspective. She had an excellent sense of humour and I admired her ability to constantly lift herself up, when she was down. The last few years of her life were tragic and it broke my heart that she had to endure such a physical and mental decline. I miss her laughter and singing. And the way her cheeks would always go red when she had a drop of whisky. She’d say “look at me. I’ve got a face like a fireman’s arse”.
Q: What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
A: Easy one this. Nothing. Context and motive are everything. That’s not to say that we should wade into any subject that we have no first hand experience of and think we have a free pass. But if a salient point can be made about a heinous subject via the medium of humour, from someone who knows about it, then that is okay with me. Offence can be the collateral damage of free speech and it’s a price worth paying. The easily offended should remember the words of stoic philosophers that being offended is actually a choice you make and if you choose not to be, then it has no sway over you.
The 25 Questions Food Tag is a popular, light-hearted Q&A widely used by lifestyle and food bloggers. I discovered it while perusing the internet for a new questionnaire, as I’ve done a great deal of substantive writing of late and I wanted to tackle something a lot less involved. As ever, having read through the questions on offer, there is plenty of scope for some interesting answers and a modicum of levity. Food per se, is also a good subject to write about as eating is something we all do. This questionnaire has also made me consider whether writing about food is something I should do more often. Would there be an audience for sharing recipes, for example? I would say that’s “food for thought” but I won’t because puns are annoying. However, I digress. Here for your edifications and my blogging convenience, are my answers to “The 25 Questions Food Tag “.
This movie questionnaire was originally created by Alexander from Cinemaniac Reviews. Sadly, I believe that website is now defunct. However, that doesn’t in anyway invalidate the questionnaire itself which has some very good questions about your relationship with cinema. Some of my answers to the questions posed are about films that I enjoy, as opposed to those that are considered cinematic classics. However, I have answered some questions more seriously than others, especially the one about undeserving recipients of the Best Film Oscar. I struggled with a couple of questions because I no longer go the cinema as frequently as I did 10 years ago. This is mainly due to the fact that a lot of the films I find interesting end up going straight to streaming after very brief theatrical releases. Some do not even get shown in cinemas. Hence I view far more at home. But I digress. On with the questions and answers. Feel free to comment below and share your views.
Usually, during the Blaugust Festival of Blogging event, I like to tackle an internet questionnaire. I do these because they’re fun and they’re a break from standard blog posts. The only problem is that I’ve completed a lot of the more popular ones over the years. You’ll find my previous answers for these below, in the “Related Posts” section. I was certain there still had to be some questionnaires available that I haven’t completed and after searching online, I discovered the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire. It is a set of ten quick questions which French TV host Bernard Pivot would asked his guests at the end of his cultural show Bouillon de culture. He based his list of questions on the older Proust Questionnaire, which itself is derived from Victorian parlour games. Later, TV host James Lipton made a version of the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire famous, on Inside the Actors Studio. So with out further ado, here are my answers to the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire.
The Guardian news website have a recurring feature in their “culture” section called Honest Playlist where they ask various celebrities about their music listening habits. There are a dozen or so stock questions that they use to grill their guest, although they don’t always use the same ones. I think it makes for interesting reading so its a column that I often visit. As I haven’t published a post based upon an internet questionnaire for a while, I thought I poach this particular line of questioning and have a crack at it myself. I have chosen the ten questions that I think are the best and by that I mean, they have the most scope for interesting answers. I didn’t include the one about karaoke because it’s not something I especially like. Each to their own. Feel free to similarly purloin this set of questions and write your own responses. I’m always fascinated by these sort of things.
This post is inspired by Axxuy, who recently replied to an open post by Forking Mad. It’s a simple set of questions and a convenient writing prompt for those occasional slow days. Now some folk can get quite “sniffy” about these sorts of posts. Perhaps they think they’re too insubstantial or too easy or something. Irrespective of whether such assertions are true or not, I would like to point out that one of the most popular posts on Contains Moderate Peril is a similar sort of internet questionnaire, titled “Would You Rather - The Gaming Edition”. Originally posted in late August 2021, it has been read over 18,000 times. Now I’m not advocating shameless “ambulances chasing” and “jumping on bandwagons” but I am reminded of the old adage, “if the shit fits, wear it”. Hence, you’ll find no prejudice against internet questionnaires on this blog. Here are ten pointless facts about me.
If you’re familiar with this blog then you know that I like an internet questionnaire. A little bit of introspection can be quite a useful thing. This particular questionnaire, the “Blog Questions Challenge”, was originally created for users of Bear Blog. However, the questions have subsequently been adapted to make them applicable to other blogging platforms and therefore accessible to a wider audience. I recently discovered this particular questionnaire over at Alvan’s Digital Garden and thought the selection of questions to be interesting. Hence I have decided to tackle them. If you’re a blogger yourself, feel free to follow suit and use this set of questions, as I think that it’s always interesting to know what inspires people to write and what path brought them online.
I spent some time today, looking for a new internet questionnaire as they make for fun and quirky blog posts (by which I mean lazy and easy ones). Sadly, most of the search results that Google found were ones I’ve done already. So I thought why not ask the online AI, ChatGenie, to provide the questions? Surely it can’t be that difficult to come up with some interesting talking points? Well it turns out it is, because the 10 questions that the AI has provided are not especially inspired. However, I did find it amusing how ChatGenie justified itself, explaining where the mirth and hilarity lie in each of its questions. Therefore, here are my answers to what I am officially calling the ChatGenie Questionnaire. Feel free to complete it yourself.
Using his prodigious experience as a chat show host, Stephen Colbert (of the eponymous The Late Show with Stephen Colbert fame) has crafted 15 hard-hitting, probing and perceptive questions, as a means to dissect and analyse his celebrity guests. These include such insightful inquiries as “What is the scariest animal?”, “What do you think happens when we die?” and “Apples or oranges?”. So far these questions have been successfully used by Mr Colbert to interrogate the likes of Keanu Reeves, Jeff Goldblum and Sandra Bullock. Hilarity naturally ensued, or at least by the standard of US network television. I’m not really a fan of the “celebrity talk show” because it doesn’t really exist as such anymore. What we now have instead is the “celebrity with something to sell show” but that gripe is best addressed in a separate blog post.
Great, it’s internet question time once again. Regular readers will already know that I really like these sorts of things. Unlike Sparks, I do have the time to answer questionnaires. Despite the fact that such articles are often considered lightweight writing, I do believe that even the most vacuous line of enquiry can yield an interesting post. This time round I have a diverse set of questions from two very different sources. The first five are courtesy of ChatGPT, which seems just as capable of asking sublimely asinine questions as real people. The next five come from Cosmopolitan. A publication and website that you wouldn’t immediately associate with me. However, out of the various questions available on both sites, I have chosen ten that I think have scope for reasoned debate and interesting answers. Thanks very much to UltrViolet and Hamatti for providing the aforementioned lines of enquiry.
I’m not sure where it came from but I have a page of allegedly philosophical questions bookmarked in Google Chrome. As it’s filed under “blogging” I suspect that these may have been saved as an emergency source of inspiration if I were in need of a writing prompt. Well I’m not exactly brimming with ideas today, so I’ve decided to avail myself of this list. I selected 10 questions randomly and shall now proceed to answer them. I am not claiming that my answers are as philosophical as the questions. I shall no doubt be flippant, sarcastic and possibly a little scathing, but I’ll endeavour to answer the questions properly (if they merit it). As I’ve said before about previous internet questionnaires that I’ve completed, sometimes what at first glance looks like lightweight material can inadvertently lead to some interesting discussions.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m a sucker for an internet questionnaire. Yes, I know such things are considered in some quarters as somewhat lightweight content. But not every blog post needs to be an insightful analysis of crop rotation in the 14th century or a searing indictment of the latest internet outrage. Sometimes answering a few simple questions in a light hearted fashion can be quite illuminating. Plus readers like to get to know something about the bloggers that they follow and internet questionnaires are a means to that. So without further ado, here is a set of questions known as “The Blogger Tag”. I first encountered this over at A Geek Girl's Guide care of Michelle. Do go and check out her take on these. Also feel free to use them yourself, as that is the idea behind answering them.
Ah, there’s nothing like an internet questionnaire to help you out when you’re scratching your head, desperately trying to think of something to write about. I don’t consider Blaugust to be complete unless there’s at least one of these “question and answer” style blog posts doing the rounds. This one is courtesy of Krikket over at Nerd Girl Thoughts. Do go and have a look at their unique take on the various questions. Naithin has also tackled this line of enquiry and you can find his answers at Time to Loot. As ever I tend to deviate from the somewhat binary nature of the questions but that’s the whole point, isn’t it? To open up the scope of the discussion and potentially encourage others to join in. This is why I like these sorts of internet questionnaires and think they contribute much to Blaugust.
Oh look, another internet questionnaire blog post. By now you must be aware of my weakness for these sorts of things (if not then take a look at the links to related posts at the bottom of this article). It would appear that the “never have I ever” format has been adapted and we now have a “have you ever” set of questions specifically aimed at gamers. As usual some of the questions are trivial but others offer scope for quite interesting responses. Etiquette dictates that I credit those who have already participated and answered these questions. They are as follows. Michelle over at A Geek Girl’s Guide. Pix1001 from Shoot The Rookie. Joseph Skyrim’s post can be found at JVT Workshop and pkudude99 share their thoughts at Nomadic Gamers. Do check out their take on the questions as there are some interesting replies. On to the questions and answers.
“The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion”. Okoto Enigma
The Rules:
Ensure the award logo is used in your post.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Mention the original creator of the award and provide a link to their site.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice.
Share a link to your best post(s).
“The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion”. Okoto Enigma
The Rules:
Ensure the award logo is used in your post.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Mention the original creator of the award and provide a link to their site.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice.
Share a link to your best post(s).
As some of you may know, I have a weakness for internet questionnaires. Yes, they can be looked upon as self indulgent filler that you post on a day when you’re strapped for inspiration, if you want to be snippy about them. But I find them quite insightful as I like to know about the people whose blogs I read. Sometimes it’s just as much about the person as it is about the blog post. “You are your own brand” and all that. But I digress. I saw this particular questionnaire over at Ace Asunder. Solarayo borrowed it from Quietschisto of RNG, who in turn purloined it from Chrisse of Vamp It Up Manchester who created the questions. There’s a broad spectrum of enquiries and scope for some informative and entertaining answers. So let us begin.
I got tagged by fellow blogger, Magimos, as part of the Real Neat Blogger Awards. Now I’m not entirely sure what that is. It’s one of those things where you get asked a bunch of questions, then get to set some yourself and then tag other people to answer them. I certainly don’t mind answering questions. I’ve already written in previous posts how I’m a sucker for internet surveys. But I’m not keen on tagging people. It’s a little invasive for my liking and I’m a stickler for etiquette. By all means ask people if they’d like to participate but never inflict things on people without consent. To me it’s the same as random people cold calling and trying to sell you stuff. Or religious types, knocking on your front door and asking if you’d like to join a Cthulhu cult. So I’ll just write my responses to Magimos questions and then write a few questions of my own, which I’ll leave for other to reflect upon and answer if they see fit.
Naithin over at Time to Loot has compiled a Blaugust related internet questionnaire. As I’ve made clear in the past, I have a weakness for these sorts of things and will happily indulge the most peculiar enquiries. I’m not really sure why I like to do questionnaires. Perhaps I feel at some level that even the crassest or vacuous of questions can yield a good or at least entertaining answer. Not that I’m saying that Naithin’s questions are any of those things. In fact I think they are quite engaging. The other thing about questionnaires is that I can make a really obscure and impenetrable pop culture reference about the band Sparks. So here are my responses to the all of them in full. An unedited stream of consciousness or load of bollocks, depending upon your perspective. I hope some of the other Blaugust participants also take part. It will be interesting to compare notes, so to speak.
At the beginning of November, I started to answer the various questions set out in The Proust Questionnaire, mainly because at some level I do like the occasional insight that “internet questions” can provide. Although most of my answers are frequently tinged with a degree of levity and at times even scorn, every now and then the right question can provoke a sincere response. So here are my measured replies to the remaining interrogative enquiries, for your consideration and edification. If you do not agree with them or find yourself at odds with my mindset, please address any complaints care of the late Marcel Proust (10th July 1871 - 18th November 1922).
The Proust Questionnaire was popularized by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering the questions, an individual provides an insight into his or her true nature. Whether that is true is debatable, but I do find the internets fondness for Q&A sessions, curiously fascinating. And as this very questionnaire has been recently resurrected by Vanity Fair magazine and has also been utilised on the Ricky Gervais is Deadly Sirius podcast, I though I’d jump on the same bandwagon, as I’m behind in my writing and this is an easy post. As there are thirty-five questions, I thought I’d tackle them over two days. So, without further ado, here are my considered and measured thought on the first seventeen.
Despite having written a blog posts claiming that there’s always something to write about, even I have days when I’m lacking inspiration. Or more to the point lacking in motivation to write. And today is a prime example. I’d much rather be doing something else, but I made a promise to myself to keep the blog content flowing. However, I discovered a selection of questions that have been doing the rounds, via Marathal over at Deez Words and decided to answer them. I’m sure you know the form. They’re a selection of “touchy-feely”, non-threatening questions designed to give the reader a simple thumbnail sketch of your “personality”. So, I thought to myself, “there’s today’s blog post”. I will try my best to answer sensibly and give as relevant answers as I can, but you know me.
Many of my fellow bloggers regularly posts details of what they’ve been reading of late. I must admit that although I received several books and graphic novels as Christmas presents, I’ve yet to start any of them. The bulk of my reading is done via my PC or Tablet and usually tends to be news articles, blog posts and research for my writing. The last book that I physically read was Titus Crow, Volume 3: In the Moons of Borea & Elysia by Brian Lumley and that was last November. So, I’ve decided to get back into reading in the traditional sense and as ever have allotted time in my schedule and set myself goals. As a carer I have numerous appointments to attend throughout the week with my parents. Rather than waste time on my phone perusing twitter and gawping at the internet, I shall use these periods to read.
MMO Tropes: Death
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. Dying in an Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game is a clear and unambiguous fail state. A means by which to teach the player that they’re doing something wrong and that they need to rethink their strategy. IE Don’t mess with the foul Marmydons unless you have back up and are wielding the Sword of Kagnazax. Dying is a reminder to not get overconfident and maintain situational awareness. It teaches us to ensure you have the right gear and consumables, to be au fait with the mechanics of any fight you’re about to get into and that winning is not a given. Any enterprise that offers a tangible reward will come with potential risks and consequences. If you’re playing in a group then death provides a timely reminder not to rely on Colin.
I use to be alive until I took an arrow to the cerebral cortex
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. Dying in an Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game is a clear and unambiguous fail state. A means by which to teach the player that they’re doing something wrong and that they need to rethink their strategy. IE Don’t mess with the foul Marmydons unless you have back up and are wielding the Sword of Kagnazax. Dying is a reminder to not get overconfident and maintain situational awareness. It teaches us to ensure you have the right gear and consumables, to be au fait with the mechanics of any fight you’re about to get into and that winning is not a given. Any enterprise that offers a tangible reward will come with potential risks and consequences. If you’re playing in a group then death provides a timely reminder not to rely on Colin.
Over the course of its evolution, the MMORPG genre has handled death in many different ways. There’s the scorched earth policy of permadeath, in which your in-game character dies for good. You lose everything you’ve accrued and have to create a new character and start from scratch. Then there was the infamous “corpse run”, in which your character’s spirit spawns at a designated point on the in-game map and has to return to their own dead body to re-animate it. In the meantime, any passing player can pilfer your loot from your unattended cadaver. However, such draconian rules have fallen out of favour with modern MMOs, although you will still find them in many classic games that still linger online. Death is now treated as a minor penalty that temporarily inconveniences you. It may incur damage to your gear but it is no longer the setback that it used to be.
I’ve spent many a happy hour plummeting to my death in LOTRO
In the Lord of the Rings Online, death is politely called “defeat” and occurs when your morale reaches zero. While defeated your character remains immobile, unable to use any skills. You may then use a self-revive which has a two hour cooldown by default, assuming that the immediate area is safe. If however you cannot or do not wish to self-revive, you may “retreat” which will teleport you to the nearest rally point, which is a circle of stones in a safe area. This disadvantage of “retreating” is that it may take you a substantial distance from your previous location. This is particularly problematic if you are in an instance. However, if you are playing in a group you may be revived by a fellow player, if they are of a class that can revive others. It is not the best or worst example of death mechanics in an MMO but it can be managed. You can purchase an account unlock that reduces the two hour cooldown on “revive” to one or purchase additional consumable “revives” by using in-game currency.
Death is managed in a far more equitable fashion in Star Trek Online. During ground combat, if you are inconvenienced by dying you can simply respawn at the last unlocked respawn point. However, more often than not, your character is accompanied by your “away team”. This is a group of four NPC companions or “bridge officers”. While dead you may request “help”, in which case one will come and revive you. Depending upon the intensity of the ongoing combat, your companions may well all heroically die trying to save you. However, if you ensure that you have a holographic or android NPC on your away team, these have the ability to self-reboot. Hence if your entire group is wiped out, one will self-revive and then revive everyone else. Conversely, space combat in STO handles dying far more simply. There is a short 10 second cooldown and then you can opt to respawn in the combat zone.
“He’s dead, Jim. Oh shit, it is Jim”
I have always liked the way that Guild Wars 2 has made reviving others a key social aspect of the game. Each player can use a self-revive when “downed”, the stage between zero health and “defeat”. Alternatively, while “downed” if you manage to kill an enemy you will “rally” back to a state of health. However, once dead, they can either retreat to the nearest waypoint or look to an ally or the kindness of passing strangers to revive you. In dynamic events, where there are lots of players, it is commonplace to help players who are “downed” or “defeated” as it is practical to have as many functional players attacking a target as possible. There are traits in the game that improve reviving speed and potency. Gear can be augmented with runes, some of which can improve revival mechanics.
The Elder Scrolls Online dispenses with the intermediate stage of being “downed” and once your health is exhausted, you are officially dead. At this point, you can retreat to the nearest wayshrine or self-revive using a soul gem. Soul gems are consumable items that are initially empty. However, if the player slots the right skills, they are filled with the souls of enemies they defeat. Hence soul gems come with a cost. The player has to either make them themselves or buy them pre-made from the in-game store. Reviving yourself with a soul gem will grant you a spectral form for a short time that is unable to attack or be attacked, before returning to full health. This allows the player to strategically reposition themselves. Soul gems can also be used to revive other players. However, unlike Guild Wars 2, as you are using a resource with a value, players may not always be disposed to help you.
A poultry-geist
Most people are not overly enamoured by death mechanics. However, during solo PVE gameplay, it is broadly tolerated. However, in my experience, this changes significantly during group content. I jokingly mentioned earlier about death in instances or raids. It is a fact that players do not warm to dying in an MMO when it is due to the incompetence of another player. Group content in MMOs requires a substantial investment of time and resources. Death may lead to a wipe and failure to obtain the loot you desire. Which means when Colin fucks up and you all die, tempers will flare. It can ruin a game. Colin notwithstanding, death is a legacy penalty left over from the original hardcore days of MMOs. Its relevance seems to have diminished with age and continues to do so in this era of “live services”. It may eventually vanish from the genre as it ultimately stands in the way of player gratification. Unhappy players tend not to play or pay. Business doesn’t like that.
I recently read a post on Massively Overpowered about skills rotation in the MMORPG genre. I found the subsequent discussion in the comments fascinating. Mainly because I have never used a fixed rotation of skills in any of the MMORPGs that I play. I understand the reasoning behind such things and why some players want to optimise their combat performance. Using one’s skills in a specific order to maximise damage and manage their subsequent cooldown has a logical appeal. In Star Trek Online, some players go so far as to create keybinds for their rotations and assign it to a specific hotkey, which is then continuously pressed throughout combat. However, rotations are a blunt tool that lack flexibility, often being geared towards dealing with a single target or using an area of effect skill against a larger group. They may not be the optimal approach to combat when things do not go to plan.
In massively multiplayer online games (MMOs), alts (short for alternate characters), are new characters created by a player in addition to their primary character (often called the “main”). Alts are often encouraged by developers as a means to keep players engaged with their game(s). Sometimes an MMO will actively reward the creation of alts either with access to exclusive content, or with additional skills or items previously unlocked by primary characters. As the myth that an MMO really begins at endgame still persists in gaming culture, some games sell boosts that will instantly raise the level of an alt to that of the current level cap. Creating alts is such a key aspect of the MMO genre, that some games will sell additional character slots, so that players can create further alts beyond the default amount allowed. There are many reasons why players create alts. Let us consider some.
If you’ve ever played an MMORPG, then you have more than likely encountered this problem. Especially if you start playing a game that has been long established. You diligently create your character and spend time and effort customising them to suit your needs. All you’ve got to do next is choose a name, so you type in a pithy and droll title only to find that it has already been taken. So you quickly come up with another and that too is rejected. Next you try the same name but with some “alternative” spelling but the game resolutely tells you that even that permutation is already in use. I have found that even with a list of names that I’ve drawn up prior to playing the game, it can still take anything from 5 to 30 minutes to find one that is available. Naturally, this process is very frustrating, which is hardly the ideal user experience for a new player.
It would appear that one of the reasons potential new players avoid the MMORPG genre is due to the perception that they are all time sinks. I wouldn’t argue against this assumption because the reality is that it’s true. However any game that you enjoy, irrespective of genre, can become a time sink. That being said, the main difference between other genres and MMOs is as follows. A new player can jump straight into a FPS game and within minutes enjoy some multiplayer action, whereas in an MMO, a new player has to play through a tutorial and several hours of a starter zone before they start making headway in the game. This distinction does not have to be a deal breaker. An FPS can provide a quick fix of gaming and as such fulfils a need. MMORPGs can provide long term entertainment which scratches an ongoing gaming itch. Both are valid ways to enjoy gaming.
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. One of the integral game mechanics of the MMORPG genre is the acquisition of loot. As you travel your virtual world of choice, committing random murder against all forms of flora and fauna, you acquire miscellaneous items by looting the corpses of the slain or stealing from houses and NPCs. Oh it’s a glamorous genre, the MMORPG. These random items can be crafting resources such as hides or ore. They may be food items or healing potions that provide some kind of statistical buff. If you’re fortunate, they may be gear that corresponds with your class or specific build, providing a much needed upgrade. Loot may also be the in-game currency, thus boosting your respective wealth. As you can see, loot comes in all shapes and sizes but how important is it?
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. Dying in an Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game is a clear and unambiguous fail state. A means by which to teach the player that they’re doing something wrong and that they need to rethink their strategy. IE Don’t mess with the foul Marmydons unless you have back up and are wielding the Sword of Kagnazax. Dying is a reminder to not get overconfident and maintain situational awareness. It teaches us to ensure you have the right gear and consumables, to be au fait with the mechanics of any fight you’re about to get into and that winning is not a given. Any enterprise that offers a tangible reward will come with potential risks and consequences. If you’re playing in a group then death provides a timely reminder not to rely on Colin.
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. I was in London recently, idly walking to the Natural History Museum in South Kensington, when a group of tourists started running for no discernable reason. Someone I was with asked “ I wonder why they’re running” and I replied “perhaps they think they’re in an MMO”. The quips fell on deaf ears but that is a cross I often have to bear. This anecdote highlights one of the points of this post. Namely, why do our avatars in the MMORPG genre run by default? I would also like to discuss the manner in which MMOs address the issue of travel around an ever expanding virtual world. Is fast travel lazy? Our mounts a boon or a bane?
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. Many MMORPGs are set in open worlds that are designed to mimic a real and living reality. Beautiful fantasy or science fiction themed environments, rich with diverse fauna and flora. Settlements are filled with people that go about their daily routine. There is often a day and night cycle and changing weather. All of which is intended to make the game world feel alive. Furthermore, these open worlds become a source of content of their own. Not only do they provide the environment for the various quests and missions that players undertake but a source of exploration and discovery. Something that many players value more than other types of game content.
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”.
The MMORPG genre is a curious subset of video games. Not only is it predicated on violence against the individual, institutions and “others”, as so many video games are but also species-specific genocide and general mass extinction of fauna and flora. It is easy to understand how this gaming specific trope came about. Early MMOs often had very little or no narrative driven quests and players simply levelled their characters by gaining XP from any sort of combat. Be that against other players, mobs or general in-game wildlife. What is far more perplexing is why such an arbitrary mechanic still persists in the modern MMO. Is it simply due to “laziness” and the fact that it’s easy to implement and rely upon? Or is there more to it than that?
If I may quote myself “The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. This time round, I would like to discuss the following. The Hero, the Chosen One, the Übermensch. As that is the role that we so often are assigned in this genre. Developers broadly assume that most players want a power fantasy and precious little else is on offer. Hence we find ourselves in a story in which we are destined to do great deeds in a virtual world, whether we wish to or not. I can see the superficial appeal of such a conceit. Most of us are not such overachievers in real life. So a game in which we get to do stuff to the world, instead of the world doing stuff to us has an inherent allure. But like most MMO tropes, unless it is implemented with some panache and creativity, it quickly becomes a tiresome cliche.
I have played more than “a few” MMORPGs over the years. It’s an enjoyable (and accessible) genre of video games. But like any other type of game, MMOs have a fairly standard formula based on a handful of game mechanics. There is levelling, gaining experience and the acquisition of skills and points. Gear such as armour, jewellery and weapons come and go as you progress through the game. Then there’s crafting, trading and gaining “gold”. Another key aspect is the social dynamic. Often there’s content specifically designed for groups to complete. But this homogeneity also extends beyond the systems that underpin the games. The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post.
In 1968 the dilapidated freighter Corita hastily leaves Freetown to avoid a customs inspection. Captain Lansen (Eric Porter) has a cargo of dangerous explosives which he is smuggling so he can finally retire. His ship’s passengers also have reasons for leaving in a hurry. Dr. Webster (Nigel Stock), together with his daughter Unity (Suzanna leigh), is relocating due to his indiscretions with patients and illegal operations. Alcoholic pianist Harry Tyler (Tony Beckley) is aimlessly drifting from port to port. Eva Peters (Hildegard Knef) is fleeing from her husband with stolen bearer bonds which she intend to use to buy back her son from his evil clutches Caracas. Ricaldi (Ben Carruthers), a questionable lawyer, is pursuing Eva to retrieve the stolen bonds. First officer Hemmings (Neil McCallum) suggests that the ship should return to Freetown after an imminent Hurricane warning. The Captain asks the passengers and they are unanimous that they do not wish to return. However a mutinous crew, the bad weather and the instability of the explosives force everyone to abandon ship. The survivors find themselves adrift in a lifeboat surrounded by a strange carnivorous seaweed.