Using his prodigious experience as a chat show host, Stephen Colbert (of the eponymous The Late Show with Stephen Colbert fame) has crafted 15 hard-hitting, probing and perceptive questions, as a means to dissect and analyse his celebrity guests. These include such insightful inquiries as “What is the scariest animal?”, “What do you think happens when we die?” and “Apples or oranges?”. So far these questions have been successfully used by Mr Colbert to interrogate the likes of Keanu Reeves, Jeff Goldblum and Sandra Bullock. Hilarity naturally ensued, or at least by the standard of US network television. I’m not really a fan of the “celebrity talk show” because it doesn’t really exist as such anymore. What we now have instead is the “celebrity with something to sell show” but that gripe is best addressed in a separate blog post.
However, I’ll cut Stephen Colbert some slack as he is very good at what he does as well as being a major Tolkien fan, thus we have some common ground (the Tolkien bit at least). Furthermore, as I’ve stated time and time again, I do like a vacuous, trite and puerile questionnaire. Mainly because there is always scope to subvert the answers. I can be as serious or as frivolous as I see fit. Hence, despite not being a Hollywood celebrity, I shall now answer “The Colbert Questionert” as it has become known. You can find the source questions here. My answers are purely my own opinion etc. and all that other small print jive. On with the questions.
Q. Best sandwich?
A. One you haven’t made or paid for yourself. The best sandwiches also need to be served at room temperature. Those that have been left in the fridge too long tend to have a somewhat soggy texture and it can kill the subtle flavours of your filling. I used to go to an artisan sandwich shop, round the corner from Saint Paul’s Cathedral. They had a choice of a dozen different types of bread. Happy days. Oh and being a Brit, we butter the bread in our sandwiches. Not a common practice in the States, I’m led to believe.
Q. What's one thing you own that you really should throw out?
A. I’m somewhat at a loss as to how to answer this question because I am not a hoarder to begin with. Once a possession is no longer required or broken I will happily dispense with it. Or is this question more metaphorical? Should I be rejecting my existential angst or irrational fear of people called Colin?
Q. What is the scariest animal?
A. I don’t dig Wolf spiders and I’m not especially keen on Humboldt squids. But I guess the scariest animal is Homo sapiens. Nasty buggers that will steal your eye and comeback for the socket. Consider their track record. The Spanish Inquisition, Idi Amin, and the Air Bud franchise.
Q. Apples or oranges?
A. Apples are less messy to eat and can be thrown at Bill Ferny. I do like blood oranges though.
Q. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
A. Only on blank cheques.
Q. What do you think happens when we die?
A. Wikipedia has a very good description of the physical processes that occur and culminate in our current definition of death. What more can I add? I have no religious beliefs and therefore have no spiritual or metaphysical insights to offer. As I see it, once your brain dies, everything you were ceases to exist. The most philosophical thought I can offer is that you may be remembered fondly by loved ones, or those you interacted with in a positive fashion.
Q. Favourite action movie?
A. Aliens, Zulu, Seven Samurai, Enter the Dragon, Die Hard, The Spy Who Loved Me, The Wrong Trousers. I could name hundreds more.
Q. Favourite smell?
A. I caught COVID-19 in April 2020 and it has left me with a greatly reduced sense of smell. This impediment has both advantages and disadvantages. I cannot smell many unpleasant odours, however this can be a problem, for example if something is burning. I still enjoy the smell of bacon cooking.
Q. Least favourite smell?
A. Vomit and other types of faecal matter. Decaying flesh is unpleasant. Sour milk is grim as well. My father dropped a bottle of mint extract in the kitchen while cooking, when I was a child. The stench lingered for weeks. I therefore despise any permutation of this odour.
Q. Exercise: worth it?
A. Exercise is worth it for the health benefits but broadly speaking, I find exercise regimes tiresome. I like to walk and hike for pleasure and this is always far more enjoyable when you have good company. But although I recognise that exercise is a good thing, I find the associated culture surrounding it dull and somewhat self congratulatory.
Q. Flat or sparkling?
A. Both. There is a time and a place for both flat and sparkling drinks, be they water, wine or other beverages.
Q. Most used app on your phone?
A. WhatsApp and Instagram, as both are a means to keep up with what the family are up to. I guess my banking apps would be next.
Q. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?
A. This is a very silly question because if you think about the prospect of only being able to only listen to one song for the rest of your life, it would eventually become a form of torture. Plus any choice I make now, may well change in a week or a month's time.
Q. What number am I thinking of
A. 42
Q. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words?
A. Slowly heading towards inevitable oblivion.
This movie questionnaire was originally created by Alexander from Cinemaniac Reviews. Sadly, I believe that website is now defunct. However, that doesn’t in anyway invalidate the questionnaire itself which has some very good questions about your relationship with cinema. Some of my answers to the questions posed are about films that I enjoy, as opposed to those that are considered cinematic classics. However, I have answered some questions more seriously than others, especially the one about undeserving recipients of the Best Film Oscar. I struggled with a couple of questions because I no longer go the cinema as frequently as I did 10 years ago. This is mainly due to the fact that a lot of the films I find interesting end up going straight to streaming after very brief theatrical releases. Some do not even get shown in cinemas. Hence I view far more at home. But I digress. On with the questions and answers. Feel free to comment below and share your views.
Usually, during the Blaugust Festival of Blogging event, I like to tackle an internet questionnaire. I do these because they’re fun and they’re a break from standard blog posts. The only problem is that I’ve completed a lot of the more popular ones over the years. You’ll find my previous answers for these below, in the “Related Posts” section. I was certain there still had to be some questionnaires available that I haven’t completed and after searching online, I discovered the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire. It is a set of ten quick questions which French TV host Bernard Pivot would asked his guests at the end of his cultural show Bouillon de culture. He based his list of questions on the older Proust Questionnaire, which itself is derived from Victorian parlour games. Later, TV host James Lipton made a version of the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire famous, on Inside the Actors Studio. So with out further ado, here are my answers to the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire.
The Guardian news website have a recurring feature in their “culture” section called Honest Playlist where they ask various celebrities about their music listening habits. There are a dozen or so stock questions that they use to grill their guest, although they don’t always use the same ones. I think it makes for interesting reading so its a column that I often visit. As I haven’t published a post based upon an internet questionnaire for a while, I thought I poach this particular line of questioning and have a crack at it myself. I have chosen the ten questions that I think are the best and by that I mean, they have the most scope for interesting answers. I didn’t include the one about karaoke because it’s not something I especially like. Each to their own. Feel free to similarly purloin this set of questions and write your own responses. I’m always fascinated by these sort of things.
This post is inspired by Axxuy, who recently replied to an open post by Forking Mad. It’s a simple set of questions and a convenient writing prompt for those occasional slow days. Now some folk can get quite “sniffy” about these sorts of posts. Perhaps they think they’re too insubstantial or too easy or something. Irrespective of whether such assertions are true or not, I would like to point out that one of the most popular posts on Contains Moderate Peril is a similar sort of internet questionnaire, titled “Would You Rather - The Gaming Edition”. Originally posted in late August 2021, it has been read over 18,000 times. Now I’m not advocating shameless “ambulances chasing” and “jumping on bandwagons” but I am reminded of the old adage, “if the shit fits, wear it”. Hence, you’ll find no prejudice against internet questionnaires on this blog. Here are ten pointless facts about me.
If you’re familiar with this blog then you know that I like an internet questionnaire. A little bit of introspection can be quite a useful thing. This particular questionnaire, the “Blog Questions Challenge”, was originally created for users of Bear Blog. However, the questions have subsequently been adapted to make them applicable to other blogging platforms and therefore accessible to a wider audience. I recently discovered this particular questionnaire over at Alvan’s Digital Garden and thought the selection of questions to be interesting. Hence I have decided to tackle them. If you’re a blogger yourself, feel free to follow suit and use this set of questions, as I think that it’s always interesting to know what inspires people to write and what path brought them online.
I spent some time today, looking for a new internet questionnaire as they make for fun and quirky blog posts (by which I mean lazy and easy ones). Sadly, most of the search results that Google found were ones I’ve done already. So I thought why not ask the online AI, ChatGenie, to provide the questions? Surely it can’t be that difficult to come up with some interesting talking points? Well it turns out it is, because the 10 questions that the AI has provided are not especially inspired. However, I did find it amusing how ChatGenie justified itself, explaining where the mirth and hilarity lie in each of its questions. Therefore, here are my answers to what I am officially calling the ChatGenie Questionnaire. Feel free to complete it yourself.
Using his prodigious experience as a chat show host, Stephen Colbert (of the eponymous The Late Show with Stephen Colbert fame) has crafted 15 hard-hitting, probing and perceptive questions, as a means to dissect and analyse his celebrity guests. These include such insightful inquiries as “What is the scariest animal?”, “What do you think happens when we die?” and “Apples or oranges?”. So far these questions have been successfully used by Mr Colbert to interrogate the likes of Keanu Reeves, Jeff Goldblum and Sandra Bullock. Hilarity naturally ensued, or at least by the standard of US network television. I’m not really a fan of the “celebrity talk show” because it doesn’t really exist as such anymore. What we now have instead is the “celebrity with something to sell show” but that gripe is best addressed in a separate blog post.
Great, it’s internet question time once again. Regular readers will already know that I really like these sorts of things. Unlike Sparks, I do have the time to answer questionnaires. Despite the fact that such articles are often considered lightweight writing, I do believe that even the most vacuous line of enquiry can yield an interesting post. This time round I have a diverse set of questions from two very different sources. The first five are courtesy of ChatGPT, which seems just as capable of asking sublimely asinine questions as real people. The next five come from Cosmopolitan. A publication and website that you wouldn’t immediately associate with me. However, out of the various questions available on both sites, I have chosen ten that I think have scope for reasoned debate and interesting answers. Thanks very much to UltrViolet and Hamatti for providing the aforementioned lines of enquiry.
I’m not sure where it came from but I have a page of allegedly philosophical questions bookmarked in Google Chrome. As it’s filed under “blogging” I suspect that these may have been saved as an emergency source of inspiration if I were in need of a writing prompt. Well I’m not exactly brimming with ideas today, so I’ve decided to avail myself of this list. I selected 10 questions randomly and shall now proceed to answer them. I am not claiming that my answers are as philosophical as the questions. I shall no doubt be flippant, sarcastic and possibly a little scathing, but I’ll endeavour to answer the questions properly (if they merit it). As I’ve said before about previous internet questionnaires that I’ve completed, sometimes what at first glance looks like lightweight material can inadvertently lead to some interesting discussions.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m a sucker for an internet questionnaire. Yes, I know such things are considered in some quarters as somewhat lightweight content. But not every blog post needs to be an insightful analysis of crop rotation in the 14th century or a searing indictment of the latest internet outrage. Sometimes answering a few simple questions in a light hearted fashion can be quite illuminating. Plus readers like to get to know something about the bloggers that they follow and internet questionnaires are a means to that. So without further ado, here is a set of questions known as “The Blogger Tag”. I first encountered this over at A Geek Girl's Guide care of Michelle. Do go and check out her take on these. Also feel free to use them yourself, as that is the idea behind answering them.
Ah, there’s nothing like an internet questionnaire to help you out when you’re scratching your head, desperately trying to think of something to write about. I don’t consider Blaugust to be complete unless there’s at least one of these “question and answer” style blog posts doing the rounds. This one is courtesy of Krikket over at Nerd Girl Thoughts. Do go and have a look at their unique take on the various questions. Naithin has also tackled this line of enquiry and you can find his answers at Time to Loot. As ever I tend to deviate from the somewhat binary nature of the questions but that’s the whole point, isn’t it? To open up the scope of the discussion and potentially encourage others to join in. This is why I like these sorts of internet questionnaires and think they contribute much to Blaugust.
Oh look, another internet questionnaire blog post. By now you must be aware of my weakness for these sorts of things (if not then take a look at the links to related posts at the bottom of this article). It would appear that the “never have I ever” format has been adapted and we now have a “have you ever” set of questions specifically aimed at gamers. As usual some of the questions are trivial but others offer scope for quite interesting responses. Etiquette dictates that I credit those who have already participated and answered these questions. They are as follows. Michelle over at A Geek Girl’s Guide. Pix1001 from Shoot The Rookie. Joseph Skyrim’s post can be found at JVT Workshop and pkudude99 share their thoughts at Nomadic Gamers. Do check out their take on the questions as there are some interesting replies. On to the questions and answers.
“The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion”. Okoto Enigma
The Rules:
Ensure the award logo is used in your post.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Mention the original creator of the award and provide a link to their site.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice.
Share a link to your best post(s).
“The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion”. Okoto Enigma
The Rules:
Ensure the award logo is used in your post.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Mention the original creator of the award and provide a link to their site.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice.
Share a link to your best post(s).
As some of you may know, I have a weakness for internet questionnaires. Yes, they can be looked upon as self indulgent filler that you post on a day when you’re strapped for inspiration, if you want to be snippy about them. But I find them quite insightful as I like to know about the people whose blogs I read. Sometimes it’s just as much about the person as it is about the blog post. “You are your own brand” and all that. But I digress. I saw this particular questionnaire over at Ace Asunder. Solarayo borrowed it from Quietschisto of RNG, who in turn purloined it from Chrisse of Vamp It Up Manchester who created the questions. There’s a broad spectrum of enquiries and scope for some informative and entertaining answers. So let us begin.
I got tagged by fellow blogger, Magimos, as part of the Real Neat Blogger Awards. Now I’m not entirely sure what that is. It’s one of those things where you get asked a bunch of questions, then get to set some yourself and then tag other people to answer them. I certainly don’t mind answering questions. I’ve already written in previous posts how I’m a sucker for internet surveys. But I’m not keen on tagging people. It’s a little invasive for my liking and I’m a stickler for etiquette. By all means ask people if they’d like to participate but never inflict things on people without consent. To me it’s the same as random people cold calling and trying to sell you stuff. Or religious types, knocking on your front door and asking if you’d like to join a Cthulhu cult. So I’ll just write my responses to Magimos questions and then write a few questions of my own, which I’ll leave for other to reflect upon and answer if they see fit.
Naithin over at Time to Loot has compiled a Blaugust related internet questionnaire. As I’ve made clear in the past, I have a weakness for these sorts of things and will happily indulge the most peculiar enquiries. I’m not really sure why I like to do questionnaires. Perhaps I feel at some level that even the crassest or vacuous of questions can yield a good or at least entertaining answer. Not that I’m saying that Naithin’s questions are any of those things. In fact I think they are quite engaging. The other thing about questionnaires is that I can make a really obscure and impenetrable pop culture reference about the band Sparks. So here are my responses to the all of them in full. An unedited stream of consciousness or load of bollocks, depending upon your perspective. I hope some of the other Blaugust participants also take part. It will be interesting to compare notes, so to speak.
At the beginning of November, I started to answer the various questions set out in The Proust Questionnaire, mainly because at some level I do like the occasional insight that “internet questions” can provide. Although most of my answers are frequently tinged with a degree of levity and at times even scorn, every now and then the right question can provoke a sincere response. So here are my measured replies to the remaining interrogative enquiries, for your consideration and edification. If you do not agree with them or find yourself at odds with my mindset, please address any complaints care of the late Marcel Proust (10th July 1871 - 18th November 1922).
The Proust Questionnaire was popularized by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering the questions, an individual provides an insight into his or her true nature. Whether that is true is debatable, but I do find the internets fondness for Q&A sessions, curiously fascinating. And as this very questionnaire has been recently resurrected by Vanity Fair magazine and has also been utilised on the Ricky Gervais is Deadly Sirius podcast, I though I’d jump on the same bandwagon, as I’m behind in my writing and this is an easy post. As there are thirty-five questions, I thought I’d tackle them over two days. So, without further ado, here are my considered and measured thought on the first seventeen.
Despite having written a blog posts claiming that there’s always something to write about, even I have days when I’m lacking inspiration. Or more to the point lacking in motivation to write. And today is a prime example. I’d much rather be doing something else, but I made a promise to myself to keep the blog content flowing. However, I discovered a selection of questions that have been doing the rounds, via Marathal over at Deez Words and decided to answer them. I’m sure you know the form. They’re a selection of “touchy-feely”, non-threatening questions designed to give the reader a simple thumbnail sketch of your “personality”. So, I thought to myself, “there’s today’s blog post”. I will try my best to answer sensibly and give as relevant answers as I can, but you know me.
Many of my fellow bloggers regularly posts details of what they’ve been reading of late. I must admit that although I received several books and graphic novels as Christmas presents, I’ve yet to start any of them. The bulk of my reading is done via my PC or Tablet and usually tends to be news articles, blog posts and research for my writing. The last book that I physically read was Titus Crow, Volume 3: In the Moons of Borea & Elysia by Brian Lumley and that was last November. So, I’ve decided to get back into reading in the traditional sense and as ever have allotted time in my schedule and set myself goals. As a carer I have numerous appointments to attend throughout the week with my parents. Rather than waste time on my phone perusing twitter and gawping at the internet, I shall use these periods to read.
The 25 Questions Food Tag is a popular, light-hearted Q&A widely used by lifestyle and food bloggers. I discovered it while perusing the internet for a new questionnaire, as I’ve done a great deal of substantive writing of late and I wanted to tackle something a lot less involved. As ever, having read through the questions on offer, there is plenty of scope for some interesting answers and a modicum of levity. Food per se, is also a good subject to write about as eating is something we all do. This questionnaire has also made me consider whether writing about food is something I should do more often. Would there be an audience for sharing recipes, for example? I would say that’s “food for thought” but I won’t because puns are annoying. However, I digress. Here for your edifications and my blogging convenience, are my answers to “The 25 Questions Food Tag “.