Ten Pointless Facts about Me
This post is inspired by Axxuy, who recently replied to an open post by Forking Mad. It’s a simple set of questions and a convenient writing prompt for those occasional slow days. Now some folk can get quite “sniffy” about these sorts of posts. Perhaps they think they’re too insubstantial or too easy or something. Irrespective of whether such assertions are true or not, I would like to point out that one of the most popular posts on Contains Moderate Peril is a similar sort of internet questionnaire, titled “Would You Rather - The Gaming Edition”. Originally posted in late August 2021, it has been read over 18,000 times. Now I’m not advocating shameless “ambulances chasing” and “jumping on bandwagons” but I am reminded of the old adage, “if the shit fits, wear it”. Hence, you’ll find no prejudice against internet questionnaires on this blog. Here are ten pointless facts about me.
This post is inspired by Axxuy, who recently replied to an open post by Forking Mad. It’s a simple set of questions and a convenient writing prompt for those occasional slow days. Now some folk can get quite “sniffy” about these sorts of posts. Perhaps they think they’re too insubstantial or too easy or something. Irrespective of whether such assertions are true or not, I would like to point out that one of the most popular posts on Contains Moderate Peril is a similar sort of internet questionnaire, titled “Would You Rather - The Gaming Edition”. Originally posted in late August 2021, it has been read over 18,000 times. Now I’m not advocating shameless “ambulances chasing” and “jumping on bandwagons” but I am reminded of the old adage, “if the shit fits, wear it”. Hence, you’ll find no prejudice against internet questionnaires on this blog. Here are ten pointless facts about me.
Q: Do you floss your teeth?
A: I use a very specific brand and size of disposable interdental brushes. This is due to my teeth being quite close together and having gum related problems in the past. It is exceedingly important to look after your teeth.
Q: Tea, coffee, or water?
A: Despite being a Brit, I am not a big tea drinker. If it is socially expedient to accept a cup when offered one I will do so. Especially if it is accompanied with biscuits. I drink black coffee in the morning but am not part of the “cult of coffee”. I have a bottle of water on the go, whenever I am sitting at my desk. I also drink Pepsi Max regularly.
Q: Footwear preference?
A: As I am now retired, I only wear formal footwear occasionally. I therefore have several pairs of Oxford shoes for weddings, holidays and court appearances. Most of the time I wear desert boots, my hiking boots and Sketchers slip-ins, depending on time of year and where I am going.
Q: Favourite dessert?
A: Why have one favourite? I like Tiramisu, Profiteroles, Cheesecake, any desserts based upon alcohol and loads more. However, sometimes when in a restaurant, rather than have a dessert after my meal, I’ll opt for a selection of cheeses.
Q: The first thing you do when you wake up?
A: Visit the bathroom and empty my bladder. I am 57. I tend to get up immediately once I’m awake and get showered and dressed. Once I’ve done this I ready for whatever the day has to throw at me.
Q: Age you'd like to stick to?
A: I have enjoyed most of the age groups I’ve passed through. I think I had the most fun in my twenties and thirties. However, I think I felt most content and at peace with myself and life during my forties. My fifties so far have been more sedate and my body hurts from time to time. But the good thing about my current age is that I don’t have to put up with anyones bullshit anymore and I am happy to point this fact out to offenders.
Q: How many hats do you own?
A: One. A knitted beanie hat in green, featuring the logo of The Cool Dudes Walking Club.
Q: Describe the last photo you took
A: A picture of a bottle of wine that we enjoyed while out for a meal. I often use the camera on my phone as a means of remembering things. Products I want to buy again, things that I’m curious about etc. I also photo the electricity meter whenever I’m submitting a reading to our utilities supplier, in case they try something shady.
Q: Worst TV show
A: I am not a fan of reality TV as a genre. We give far too much air time to fools and people that reflect the least credit on us as a species. We no longer venerate knowledge, honesty and integrity. Galactica 1980 was also quite shit.
Q: As a child, what was your aspiration for adulthood?
A: To be an adult, or at least to have access to the things I thought or imagined that adults did. My parents always encouraged me to read and didn’t mind what books I chose. Hence I soon abandoned children’s literature and started to read mainstream fiction. It seemed that adulthood had a lot to offer and I grew impatient with the trappings of a child’s life. When I finally reached adulthood I discovered its realities. I now reflect upon the old adage that “youth is wasted on the young”.
Blog Questions Challenge
If you’re familiar with this blog then you know that I like an internet questionnaire. A little bit of introspection can be quite a useful thing. This particular questionnaire, the “Blog Questions Challenge”, was originally created for users of Bear Blog. However, the questions have subsequently been adapted to make them applicable to other blogging platforms and therefore accessible to a wider audience. I recently discovered this particular questionnaire over at Alvan’s Digital Garden and thought the selection of questions to be interesting. Hence I have decided to tackle them. If you’re a blogger yourself, feel free to follow suit and use this set of questions, as I think that it’s always interesting to know what inspires people to write and what path brought them online.
If you’re familiar with this blog then you know that I like an internet questionnaire. A little bit of introspection can be quite a useful thing. This particular questionnaire, the “Blog Questions Challenge”, was originally created for users of Bear Blog. However, the questions have subsequently been adapted to make them applicable to other blogging platforms and therefore accessible to a wider audience. I recently discovered this particular questionnaire over at Alvan’s Digital Garden and thought the selection of questions to be interesting. Hence I have decided to tackle them. If you’re a blogger yourself, feel free to follow suit and use this set of questions, as I think that it’s always interesting to know what inspires people to write and what path brought them online.
Why did you start blogging in the first place?
I have always enjoyed writing creatively. My English teachers at both junior and senior school always encouraged us to write stories and express ourselves through the written word. Not only is it an essential skill for work and day-to-day life, I feel that writing one’s thoughts and feelings is a great way to process the world in general. Especially with subjects and situations that are complicated. Blogging also provides an opportunity to share one’s interest and to potentially build communities.
What platform are you using to manage your blog and why did you choose it?
Since August 2015 I have used Squarespace for my blog. Instead of trying to migrate the previous iteration of Contains Moderate Peril, I decided to reboot the entire blog and start from scratch. Many of the existing posts such as film reviews were easily republished which made the process a lot easier. I chose Squarespace due to its ease to use and the fact that it doesn’t place any restrictions on user traffic. In the past I have had my website taken offline because the volume of traffic exceeded the bandwidth allowance included in the hosting package. Nearly ten years later, I am still satisfied with the quality of service Squarespace offers. I have seldom had any downtime and additional features and functionality are continuously added to the platform.
Have you blogged on other platforms before?
My first blog in 2007 was via the now defunct blog.co.uk service. A year later I moved to Google Blogger for convenience as this was a common platform at the time. Circa 2011 I migrated my blog to a hosted WordPress service which I used for the next four years. I liked WordPress initially as it is a very flexible way to produce a blog. However, I got tired with how much maintenance it required, as updates would often break third party plugins and there was always a constant battle against cyber attacks, spam and malicious code intrusions. I have also used Wix and Blot for separate website projects and found both to be very user friendly. The former provided a quick and flexible means to create a new contemporary website with all the features you’d expect. The latter was an excellent platform for a minimalist blog based around using Google Docs.
How do you write your posts? For example, in a local editing tool, or in a panel/dashboard that's part of your blog?
I use Google Docs to write my blog posts, despite having a subscription to Microsoft Office. The primary reason being I can access my documents from anywhere with an internet connection, which was very useful during my working career. Whenever I had any free time I could access my draft post folder on Google Drive and continue writing. It’s a habit that has stuck, plus I find Google Docs has great functionality. I can cut and paste a finished document directly into my blog editor without any formatting issues. I have set my web browser to open Google Docs in a tab upon launch and can therefore easily start writing whenever an idea occurs to me.
When do you feel most inspired to write?
I tend to write first thing in the morning as I feel mentally alert and suitably motivated. However, sometimes due to circumstances I will write late at night. My PC is in the spare bedroom which I use as an office. I like to be able to write in a controlled environment without interruption or noise. Occasionally, if I am looking after my grandchildren at their house, I will use my laptop to write once they have gone to bed. If I have an interesting idea for a blog post when out, I will make some notes via my phone.
Do you publish immediately after writing, or do you let it simmer a bit as a draft?
I tend to publish upon completing a blog post and seldom have the requirement to “sleep on it”. I don’t write anything that I deem to be controversial and I have sufficient confidence in my views and opinions to express them in a manner that is appropriate. That being said, I don’t mind if people do not like what I have written. That is their prerogative. Equally, it is mine to not be concerned with their opinion.
What's your favourite post on your blog?
Having written over 1890 posts, there are a few that I am quite fond of. There are two posts on “British Slang Words and Phrases” that are lighthearted but informative that I enjoyed writing. The subject matter certainly has scope for further instalments. On a more serious note, I wrote a series of 17 posts over seven years about “Caring for the Elderly”, which were about my family’s experiences caring for my parents who had both had life altering strokes. The comments left were often from people in similar caring roles and I felt that these posts were actually of use to people.
Any future plans for your blog? Maybe a redesign, a move to another platform, or adding a new feature?
I made some minor changes to my blog at the end of last summer and revised the branding. The template that I’m currently using is a decade old. The changes have proven sufficient for the present. A major overhaul of the blog would require every post being manually updated which is not a task I would welcome. Plus the overall operating costs of running a blog are increasing at present. Any future changes will have to be carried out within a budget.
ChatGenie Questionnaire
I spent some time today, looking for a new internet questionnaire as they make for fun and quirky blog posts (by which I mean lazy and easy ones). Sadly, most of the search results that Google found were ones I’ve done already. So I thought why not ask the online AI, ChatGenie, to provide the questions? Surely it can’t be that difficult to come up with some interesting talking points? Well it turns out it is, because the 10 questions that the AI has provided are not especially inspired. However, I did find it amusing how ChatGenie justified itself, explaining where the mirth and hilarity lie in each of its questions. Therefore, here are my answers to what I am officially calling the ChatGenie Questionnaire. Feel free to complete it yourself.
I spent some time today, looking for a new internet questionnaire as they make for fun and quirky blog posts (by which I mean lazy and easy ones). Sadly, most of the search results that Google found were ones I’ve done already. So I thought why not ask the online AI, ChatGenie, to provide the questions? Surely it can’t be that difficult to come up with some interesting talking points? Well it turns out it is, because the 10 questions that the AI has provided are not especially inspired. However, I did find it amusing how ChatGenie justified itself, explaining where the mirth and hilarity lie in each of its questions. Therefore, here are my answers to what I am officially calling the ChatGenie Questionnaire. Feel free to complete it yourself.
Q: Do you cry easily? (This question encourages introspection as to how emotional you may be)
A: No. I was raised during the seventies in the UK and the prevailing culture was to not cry unnecessarily. The cliche of maintaining a stiff, upper lip was still commonplace. Age has brought a degree of wisdom and I have now tempered this emotional foible. When both my parents died, at the time I kept a stoical demeanour, mainly because I was the one dealing with everything and I needed to be “functional”. When everything was done, I allowed myself to grieve and cry accordingly. Oddly enough, I find that films have the power to stir my emotions the most. I remember when I saw Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan for the first time. When Spock died I wept openly like I’d lost a brother.
Q: What's the most embarrassing song you secretly love to sing along to? (A lighthearted question that can spark hilarious answers.)
A: All Kinds of Everything by Dana, although I prefer the cover version by Slim Whitman from 1978. I can never remember the specific things named in the song, so I improvise. Fruit Bats, Orangutans, the Sudanese etc.
Q: If your life was a movie, who would play you and what genre would it be? (Get them thinking about their personality and how they see themselves.)
A: Peter Cushing and it would definitely be a horror film.
Q: What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten and would you recommend it? (A fun and unexpected question that's sure to generate unique answers.)
A: Snails and squid. Snails are just like any other shellfish and their culinary merit depends upon the sauce they’re cooked and served in. As for squid, I don’t mind calamari (battered and fried squid rings) but find that the whole baby squids are too rubbery for my tastes. Overall, I’m not someone who will eat something just because it is considered weird. However, if a weird dish can be proven to be potentially tasty, I will theoretically consider eating it.
Q: You're stranded on a deserted island with only three items. What are they and why? (A classic question with a twist, encouraging them to think about their priorities.)
A: A supply of antibiotics for obvious reasons. I wouldn’t want to die as a result of a simple cut or insect bite. A firearm to take care of any potential dangers and a wind up radio. I could listen to the shipping forecast.
Q: If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be and what would you ask them? (This question invites them to think about their interests and curiosity.)
A: I think a meal with Sir Archibald McIndoe would be rather interesting. He was a pioneering plastic surgeon from New Zealand who moved to the UK in 1930. During World War II he developed numerous pioneering techniques while treating badly burned Royal Air Force aircrew. His patients at the Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead, Sussex, formed the Guinea Pig Club. This was a social club and mutual support network.
Q: What’s the best way to waste time? (A funny question that allows people to embrace their quirks.)
A: The best way to waste time is to do so in a guilt free fashion. I know too many people who are uncomfortable with their own personal leisure time and often feel guilty if they’re not doing something “productive”. Fortunately, I’m not one of them and I learned from my father that if you ever get a chance to take it easy in between all the hustle and bustle, then grab it with both hands.
Q: If you could invent a new holiday, what would it be and how would it be celebrated? (This encourages creativity and allows them to express their ideal world.)
A: I’d like to establish an international “If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all” day. It could alternatively be known as “Shut the fuck up” day. Its philosophy and merits are self-evident. Those who break the credo have “twat” written on their forehead for the rest of the week as penance.
Q: What's the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you believe in? (A playful question that can lead to some entertaining answers.)
A: I don’t believe in conspiracy theories or care for the associated culture. Occam’s razor is often a sufficient tool to invalidate most of them. Plus, most major conspiracies are predicated on secret plots. If there is one defining characteristic of humans, it is that most cannot keep their mouth shut. It’s an obvious contradiction.
Q: What's your favourite word and why? (A simple yet insightful question that reveals their personal preferences and vocabulary.)
A: According to an analysis of my blog posts, I use the word “nebulous” a lot. I do like it as it beautifully encapsulates anything vague, indistinct or ill defined. The thing is, I like lots of words. Why settle for just one?
The Colbert Questionert
Using his prodigious experience as a chat show host, Stephen Colbert (of the eponymous The Late Show with Stephen Colbert fame) has crafted 15 hard-hitting, probing and perceptive questions, as a means to dissect and analyse his celebrity guests. These include such insightful inquiries as “What is the scariest animal?”, “What do you think happens when we die?” and “Apples or oranges?”. So far these questions have been successfully used by Mr Colbert to interrogate the likes of Keanu Reeves, Jeff Goldblum and Sandra Bullock. Hilarity naturally ensued, or at least by the standard of US network television. I’m not really a fan of the “celebrity talk show” because it doesn’t really exist as such anymore. What we now have instead is the “celebrity with something to sell show” but that gripe is best addressed in a separate blog post.
Using his prodigious experience as a chat show host, Stephen Colbert (of the eponymous The Late Show with Stephen Colbert fame) has crafted 15 hard-hitting, probing and perceptive questions, as a means to dissect and analyse his celebrity guests. These include such insightful inquiries as “What is the scariest animal?”, “What do you think happens when we die?” and “Apples or oranges?”. So far these questions have been successfully used by Mr Colbert to interrogate the likes of Keanu Reeves, Jeff Goldblum and Sandra Bullock. Hilarity naturally ensued, or at least by the standard of US network television. I’m not really a fan of the “celebrity talk show” because it doesn’t really exist as such anymore. What we now have instead is the “celebrity with something to sell show” but that gripe is best addressed in a separate blog post.
However, I’ll cut Stephen Colbert some slack as he is very good at what he does as well as being a major Tolkien fan, thus we have some common ground (the Tolkien bit at least). Furthermore, as I’ve stated time and time again, I do like a vacuous, trite and puerile questionnaire. Mainly because there is always scope to subvert the answers. I can be as serious or as frivolous as I see fit. Hence, despite not being a Hollywood celebrity, I shall now answer “The Colbert Questionert” as it has become known. You can find the source questions here. My answers are purely my own opinion etc. and all that other small print jive. On with the questions.
Q. Best sandwich?
A. One you haven’t made or paid for yourself. The best sandwiches also need to be served at room temperature. Those that have been left in the fridge too long tend to have a somewhat soggy texture and it can kill the subtle flavours of your filling. I used to go to an artisan sandwich shop, round the corner from Saint Paul’s Cathedral. They had a choice of a dozen different types of bread. Happy days. Oh and being a Brit, we butter the bread in our sandwiches. Not a common practice in the States, I’m led to believe.
Q. What's one thing you own that you really should throw out?
A. I’m somewhat at a loss as to how to answer this question because I am not a hoarder to begin with. Once a possession is no longer required or broken I will happily dispense with it. Or is this question more metaphorical? Should I be rejecting my existential angst or irrational fear of people called Colin?
Q. What is the scariest animal?
A. I don’t dig Wolf spiders and I’m not especially keen on Humboldt squids. But I guess the scariest animal is Homo sapiens. Nasty buggers that will steal your eye and comeback for the socket. Consider their track record. The Spanish Inquisition, Idi Amin, and the Air Bud franchise.
Q. Apples or oranges?
A. Apples are less messy to eat and can be thrown at Bill Ferny. I do like blood oranges though.
Q. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
A. Only on blank cheques.
Q. What do you think happens when we die?
A. Wikipedia has a very good description of the physical processes that occur and culminate in our current definition of death. What more can I add? I have no religious beliefs and therefore have no spiritual or metaphysical insights to offer. As I see it, once your brain dies, everything you were ceases to exist. The most philosophical thought I can offer is that you may be remembered fondly by loved ones, or those you interacted with in a positive fashion.
Q. Favourite action movie?
A. Aliens, Zulu, Seven Samurai, Enter the Dragon, Die Hard, The Spy Who Loved Me, The Wrong Trousers. I could name hundreds more.
Q. Favourite smell?
A. I caught COVID-19 in April 2020 and it has left me with a greatly reduced sense of smell. This impediment has both advantages and disadvantages. I cannot smell many unpleasant odours, however this can be a problem, for example if something is burning. I still enjoy the smell of bacon cooking.
Q. Least favourite smell?
A. Vomit and other types of faecal matter. Decaying flesh is unpleasant. Sour milk is grim as well. My father dropped a bottle of mint extract in the kitchen while cooking, when I was a child. The stench lingered for weeks. I therefore despise any permutation of this odour.
Q. Exercise: worth it?
A. Exercise is worth it for the health benefits but broadly speaking, I find exercise regimes tiresome. I like to walk and hike for pleasure and this is always far more enjoyable when you have good company. But although I recognise that exercise is a good thing, I find the associated culture surrounding it dull and somewhat self congratulatory.
Q. Flat or sparkling?
A. Both. There is a time and a place for both flat and sparkling drinks, be they water, wine or other beverages.
Q. Most used app on your phone?
A. WhatsApp and Instagram, as both are a means to keep up with what the family are up to. I guess my banking apps would be next.
Q. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?
A. This is a very silly question because if you think about the prospect of only being able to only listen to one song for the rest of your life, it would eventually become a form of torture. Plus any choice I make now, may well change in a week or a month's time.
Q. What number am I thinking of
A. 42
Q. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words?
A. Slowly heading towards inevitable oblivion.
10 Questions from ChatGPT and Cosmopolitan
Great, it’s internet question time once again. Regular readers will already know that I really like these sorts of things. Unlike Sparks, I do have the time to answer questionnaires. Despite the fact that such articles are often considered lightweight writing, I do believe that even the most vacuous line of enquiry can yield an interesting post. This time round I have a diverse set of questions from two very different sources. The first five are courtesy of ChatGPT, which seems just as capable of asking sublimely asinine questions as real people. The next five come from Cosmopolitan. A publication and website that you wouldn’t immediately associate with me. However, out of the various questions available on both sites, I have chosen ten that I think have scope for reasoned debate and interesting answers. Thanks very much to UltrViolet and Hamatti for providing the aforementioned lines of enquiry.
Great, it’s internet question time once again. Regular readers will already know that I really like these sorts of things. Unlike Sparks, I do have the time to answer questionnaires. Despite the fact that such articles are often considered lightweight writing, I do believe that even the most vacuous line of enquiry can yield an interesting post. This time round I have a diverse set of questions from two very different sources. The first five are courtesy of ChatGPT, which seems just as capable of asking sublimely asinine questions as real people. The next five come from Cosmopolitan. A publication and website that you wouldn’t immediately associate with me. However, out of the various questions available on both sites, I have chosen ten that I think have scope for reasoned debate and interesting answers. Thanks very much to UltrViolet and Hamatti for providing the aforementioned lines of enquiry.
Q: If you could teleport to any place on Earth right now, where would you go and what adventures would you have there?
A: I am a very bad traveller. I dislike the hassle and discomfort associated with modern travel. I hate being confined in a car for more than 3 hours and I simply am not wealthy enough to travel by any other means in the manner I would like. IE First class. The idea of a Star Trek transporter to travel around the world really appeals to me. The inconvenience associated with travel is instantly negated. You could visit somewhere exotic first thing in the morning and then return home within hours if it suited you. Instant access to the culture of the world. Some people may argue that the hardships of travel are part of the experience but I say “go piss up a rope”.
Q: You're given the ability to rewrite the ending of your favourite movie or book – how would you change it, and what new twists would you introduce?
A: I would change the first act of 2001: A Space Odyssey. When the ape picks up the bone, instead of using it as a club, it would have been far more amusing if he’d fashioned it into a primitive flute and regaled the other group of apes at the watering hole with a jaunty folk tune. Then from that point on, the entire film became a musical.
Q: If you were granted the ability to talk to animals for a day, which animal would you choose to converse with first, and what would you ask them?
A: Considering how abominably we treat animals, both wild and domesticated, I think it would be staggeringly arrogant to assume that they would wish to talk to us in the first place. As a society our relationship with nature is utterly broken and we have also infantilised our interactions with pets. I think it would be far more beneficial to all concerned if we left animals alone, rather than subject them to our garrulous inanities.
Q: If you could swap lives with any celebrity for a week, who would it be and how would you handle their fame and responsibilities?
A: I would swap lives with the most egregious but wealthy celebrity I could find and during my week, speak out and support the sort of social and political issues that would normally be an anathema to them. I would also give huge sums of money to charities and invest substantially in the sort of lobbying that they usually revile. It makes me smile just thinking about it.
Q: What's the most adventurous dish you've ever tried, and how did your taste buds react to this bold culinary experience?
A: In the early 2000s, I went to the Coq d'Argent restaurant in the City of London (which is the financial district of London). It serves traditional French dishes alongside bespoke and innovative dishes by Executive Head Chef, Damien Rigollet. It is the embodiment of high end dining and the fanciest restaurant I’ve been to in my life. For my starter I had Escargots de Bourgogne, which is snails from Burgundy served in garlic and parsley butter. The snails were served in their shells and I was handed what looked like a set of tools used by a gynaecologist. If you’ve had seafood before such as oysters or mussels, then snails are very similar. They are all molluscs. Overall it was very nice and the only hassle was getting the blighters out of the shells.
Q: Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
A: I do this with complex phone enquiries, such as querying a bill with a utility company. I try to ensure that I keep my inquiry short, factually correct and easy to understand. On the occasions when I call a radio phone in show, I again work out and rehearse the basics of what I am going to say, so I don’t sound like a confused, incoherent, rambling asshole.
Q: Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
A: I have more than a hunch. My Dad’s side of the family tends to live long but die of cancer. My Mum’s side mainly suffers from heart disease. I have already been diagnosed with such and I suspect from my cavalier attitude to drinking and dining well, that my fate will be similar.
Q: Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
A: The older I have become, the more passionate I have become about politics in the UK. The country is broken and unequal, with an unfair, non representative voting system. People have often said of late, “you seem very motivated and engaged, why don’t you get involved?” to which I reply, sadly, “no”. I approach socioeconomic and cultural problems from a basis of rationality, critical thought and practicality. Politics does not accommodate these at present. It is tribal, ideological and far too self serving. I would simply crash and burn if I tried to become engaged with the system as it currently exists.
Q: How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
A: I had a very good relationship with my late mother. We were very similar, which is why we could clash at times but similarly, we could appreciate each other’s perspective. She had an excellent sense of humour and I admired her ability to constantly lift herself up, when she was down. The last few years of her life were tragic and it broke my heart that she had to endure such a physical and mental decline. I miss her laughter and singing. And the way her cheeks would always go red when she had a drop of whisky. She’d say “look at me. I’ve got a face like a fireman’s arse”.
Q: What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
A: Easy one this. Nothing. Context and motive are everything. That’s not to say that we should wade into any subject that we have no first hand experience of and think we have a free pass. But if a salient point can be made about a heinous subject via the medium of humour, from someone who knows about it, then that is okay with me. Offence can be the collateral damage of free speech and it’s a price worth paying. The easily offended should remember the words of stoic philosophers that being offended is actually a choice you make and if you choose not to be, then it has no sway over you.
Ten Philosophical Questions
I’m not sure where it came from but I have a page of allegedly philosophical questions bookmarked in Google Chrome. As it’s filed under “blogging” I suspect that these may have been saved as an emergency source of inspiration if I were in need of a writing prompt. Well I’m not exactly brimming with ideas today, so I’ve decided to avail myself of this list. I selected 10 questions randomly and shall now proceed to answer them. I am not claiming that my answers are as philosophical as the questions. I shall no doubt be flippant, sarcastic and possibly a little scathing, but I’ll endeavour to answer the questions properly (if they merit it). As I’ve said before about previous internet questionnaires that I’ve completed, sometimes what at first glance looks like lightweight material can inadvertently lead to some interesting discussions.
I’m not sure where it came from but I have a page of allegedly philosophical questions bookmarked in Google Chrome. As it’s filed under “blogging” I suspect that these may have been saved as an emergency source of inspiration if I were in need of a writing prompt. Well I’m not exactly brimming with ideas today, so I’ve decided to avail myself of this list. I selected 10 questions randomly and shall now proceed to answer them. I am not claiming that my answers are as philosophical as the questions. I shall no doubt be flippant, sarcastic and possibly a little scathing, but I’ll endeavour to answer the questions properly (if they merit it). As I’ve said before about previous internet questionnaires that I’ve completed, sometimes what at first glance looks like lightweight material can inadvertently lead to some interesting discussions.
Q: Did humans discover mathematics or did they create it?
A: The Greek philosopher Plato argued that maths is a discoverable system that underlines the structure of the universe. This Platonic theory asserts that mathematics exists independent of humans. The opposing argument, therefore, is that maths is a man-made construct and intellectual tool. An abstraction that simply corresponds with the universe. Kurt Gödel's first incompleteness theorem states that no consistent system of axioms whose theorems can be listed by an effective procedure (i.e., an algorithm) is capable of proving all truths about the arithmetic of natural numbers. For any such consistent formal system, there will always be statements about natural numbers that are true, but that are unprovable within the system. Heavy stuff, right? Both sides of the debate provide compelling arguments. However, I think we should let the great Scottish philosopher Billy Connelly have the last word. "Why should I learn Algebra? I've no intention of ever going there".
“Is it safe?”
Q: When is it okay to tell a secret?
A: When you’re being waterboarded by the security services.
Q: Do humans construct justice or is it an independent concept?
A: Justice is an artificial construct and does not exist outside of human society. It is notably absent in the animal kingdom and conspicuously not a part of cosmology. It can be argued that it’s not doing such a good job in human affairs.
Q: How do kids and children differ from each other?
A: A baby goat is a kid and a child is a potentially risky investment. On a less pedantic note, this question has the scope to turn into a discussion about how different socioeconomic groups use different words for the same things. Class is still a very big deal in the UK and is insidious in the way it gets into every aspect of life. But that is a post for another day.
Q: Do we have to be happy all the time?
A: No you do not. Furthermore, I would argue that it is foolish to attempt to be so. Most of the time, I find myself in a state of emotional equilibrium. I am not sad, angry or unsettled. I am emotionally neutral. During the course of a day, simple things bring me pleasure and tip my feelings from this position into varying degrees of happiness. For example a full English Breakfast, drawing pictures with my grandchildren or going out on a sunny day with Mrs P. If one was happy all the time it would diminish its merits, in the same way that you can become bored with your favourite food if you dine on it exclusively. Happiness brings contrast to our lives, highlighting the good things and setting them aside from the bad and the mundane. Its value lies in its lack of ubiquity.
Q: If you were to die tomorrow, what would you regret?
A: The fact that I’m dying tomorrow. I have a library book to take back.
Q: What impact does a person’s name have on who they become?
A: Nominative determinism is a thing and genuinely has an impact upon a person’s life, in so far as how they are perceived and treated. Again this is a subject that is linked to class and social status. For example David Cameron was a British Prime Minister. David is quite a formal name and Cameron was very much a man from a privileged background. Dave is a far less formal version of the name and polls have shown that people will immediately think of a plumber or something comparable. Then there’s more literal aspects to nominative determinism, such as your name impacting upon your career and path in life. Consider the athlete Usian Bolt and his name. Is it more than ironic?
Q: If there are no boundaries to the universe, what would exist beyond them?
A: I get confused by the semantics of this question. If something has no boundaries, then it is infinite. Therefore logically doesn’ that negate the existence of anything else? I like quantum physics but I do struggle with its abstractions most of the time.
Q: Are there such things as good deaths?
A: Yes there are, although I am not talking about the emotional ramifications of death, but specifically the manner in which you die. We can all imagine painful, shocking and unpleasant ways to die. Sadly some people endure these. However, these are not necessarily commonplace. My father died in September 2020. He was 91, extremely frail and suffering from pneumonia. He spent his last few weeks in a hospital and was seldom awake. He died in his sleep. My mother similarly died recently of age related issues, in a nursing home. She also died in her sleep. Both were aware that they were going to die but due to their age and long years of ill health and indignity, were reconciled to their demise. Were these good deaths? Possibly so. It is a relative concept.
Q: What is the purpose of life?
A: Judging by my fifty four years of experience, I’m tempted to say “to be exploited by the rich”. On a less cynical note, I get somewhat annoyed by this question as it supposes that there is a purpose by default. I suspect this question stems from a theological perspective. However, let me address the question. I believe humans have the ability to create their own sense of purpose and do not have to adhere to spurious dogmas created by third parties for their own questionable ends. As for the wider concept of life within the universe, does it really need to have a specific purpose? It just is. The only imperative that drives it is for it to continue. Alternatively the answer to everything is 42.
The Blogger Tag
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m a sucker for an internet questionnaire. Yes, I know such things are considered in some quarters as somewhat lightweight content. But not every blog post needs to be an insightful analysis of crop rotation in the 14th century or a searing indictment of the latest internet outrage. Sometimes answering a few simple questions in a light hearted fashion can be quite illuminating. Plus readers like to get to know something about the bloggers that they follow and internet questionnaires are a means to that. So without further ado, here is a set of questions known as “The Blogger Tag”. I first encountered this over at A Geek Girl's Guide care of Michelle. Do go and check out her take on these. Also feel free to use them yourself, as that is the idea behind answering them.
Blogger or Jamf? You decide
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m a sucker for an internet questionnaire. Yes, I know such things are considered in some quarters as somewhat lightweight content. But not every blog post needs to be an insightful analysis of crop rotation in the 14th century or a searing indictment of the latest internet outrage. Sometimes answering a few simple questions in a light hearted fashion can be quite illuminating. Plus readers like to get to know something about the bloggers that they follow and internet questionnaires are a means to that. So without further ado, here is a set of questions known as “The Blogger Tag”. I first encountered this over at A Geek Girl's Guide care of Michelle. Do go and check out her take on these. Also feel free to use them yourself, as that is the idea behind answering them.
How long have you been blogging and why did you start?
I have been blogging for nearly 15 years. I’ve always been interested in writing and expressing myself via the written word. I was fortunate to have several very good English teachers during my teenage years that were encouraging and who indulged my propensity for lurid fiction. As an adult I find that writing helps me order my thoughts and reason things through. I consider that structured writing goes hand in hand with critical thinking but it can also be frivolous and cathartic. I tend to write my blog in an informal fashion and if you’ve ever heard any of the podcast content I’ve produced, it’s broadly in a similar idiom to how I verbally express myself.
Is this current blog your first blog?
No. This is the fifth iteration of my blog. I initially started writing about everything that took my fancy and then moved on to blogging exclusively about the MMORPG LOTRO when that became the apple of my eye in 2008/2009. The next stage was a broader gaming blog once I was bored with the restriction of a single subject. Then I moved back to a variety blog under the title Contains Moderate Peril. It got some traction and peaked around 2014. But just as the audience was growing, I got a chronic case of burnout and effectively shut the site down for a few months. After a respite I got my blogging mojo back and migrated the site to a new host. That is the version that is currently available and has been updated continuously since August 2015.
What would you categorise your blog as?
I’ve been accused of quite a few things as a result of what I’ve written about in the past. If I like something I’ll give reasons why and vice versa. I can remember writing once about a same sex kiss scene in the science fiction drama Torchwood and because I wasn’t offended, one comment by a reader labelled me a “pervert” and an “advocate of filth”. I shrug such hyperbole off with ease. I personally would categorise my site as a variety blog. I review films, TV and games and also write about aspects of each respective industry. I will happily express my political views and my thoughts on popular culture. I try to keep an open mind but I have no interest in emotive arguments or positions that are not based on reason. Contains Moderate Peril is home to my personal musings on life.
Is it still the same kind of blog as when you first started?
Broadly speaking, yes. I write about the same things today as I did back in 2007 but like to think I do so now with more confidence and a greater degree of skill. When I started blogging I was more influenced to write about things that I knew may gain traction because I initially harboured an ambition to write professionally. I’ve learned the hard way that making money through a blog is not likely. It requires too many compromises and means pursuing trends rather than doing what I want. But all things considered, Contains Moderate Peril is an extension of me and I’m broadly the same person. Perhaps like me the blog has grown up over the years.
Top 3 things about being a blogger!
Blogging provides me with my own personal space on the internet. A place for me to share my thoughts and express myself. I value such an opportunity as I remember the pre-internet age quite clearly. It was an era of fanzines, fan art and small self-published books. There were communities but they were small and often parochial. The internet is a superb medium for reaching beyond the local.
Which leads me on to the second best thing about blogging which is the community. Spending time and talking to like minded people is invaluable. You learn so much about people and the wider world by reading others blogs. I hold my internet friends in high regard and take online friendships seriously.
Thirdly, blogging is in many ways an important aspect of freedom of expression. I am to a degree bound by the terms and conditions of Squarespace and UK legislation but as I am not advocating hate speech or terrorism, I find that my blogging platform allows me to express myself freely and without fear of recourse. I am a big advocate of longfrom criticism and analysis based upon critical thinking, empirical evidence and rational debate. Sadly the internet facilitates a lot of content that is the antithesis of these things but that’s democracy for you. Good content is out there, you just have to take the time to find it.
What is your favourite kind of post to write?
I like to learn about things. If I read a post and it mentions something that I’m not au fait with then I’ll research it and find out more. By that I mean read about the subject from reputable websites. If a topic is subject to debate, then I’ll ensure I’m aware of both sides of the argument. Knowledge is power as the expression goes. The blog posts I enjoy writing the most are subjects I feel confident that I am knowledgeable about. For example, I am a film fan and by that I mean I enjoy all genres, from all countries made in the last century and the present. I watch films, I read film criticism and analysis and I have learned a lot about the process, industry and language of cinema. Hence I feel that I can offer coherent opinions based upon a wide and lengthy experience of films. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but not all opinions are equal. There are opinions and then there are informed opinions.
What is the hardest post you have ever written and published?
Between 2016 and spring this year, I gave up full time work to look after both my parents who had suffered life altering strokes. I decided to blog about this and started writing a series of posts called Caring for the Eldery. The idea was that I would write about all the issues I encountered regarding my parents’ care and I would share this online. Hopefully such information would be of use to those having to do the same. Hence I wrote about dealing with social services, what benefits were available as well as basic things you can do to make the home environment more practical. I also decided to be quite candid about the emotional and physical consequences of caring for the elderly, both for my parents and myself and my sister. Perhaps the toughest aspect was writing about end of life care and the inescapable fact that both my parents were coming to the end of their lives. They have both subsequently died. This was hard to write about and often I would shed a tear while collecting my thoughts but I feel it was the right thing to do. In some respects I feel better for doing so. Blogging can be very therapeutic.
As per usual, what I thought would be a short and simple post has proven somewhat more substantive. But such is the nature of blogging. If you are engaged with a subject, you tend to write a lot more than you expect. The whole point of “The Blogger Tag” is for it to be shared. So here are the questions again so that you can easily cut and paste them. I hope you find answering them as enjoyable as I did. If you do tackle the questions then let me and others know. I’m always interested in what others think and what motivates them. This for me is the inherent appeal of internet questionnaires. There’s often a lot more to them than you think.
How long have you been blogging and why did you start?
Is this current blog your first blog?
What would you categorise your blog as?
Is it still the same kind of blog as when you first started?
Top 3 favourite things about being a blogger!
What is your favourite kind of post to write?
What is the hardest post you have ever written and published?
Would You Rather? - The Gaming Edition
Ah, there’s nothing like an internet questionnaire to help you out when you’re scratching your head, desperately trying to think of something to write about. I don’t consider Blaugust to be complete unless there’s at least one of these “question and answer” style blog posts doing the rounds. This one is courtesy of Krikket over at Nerd Girl Thoughts. Do go and have a look at their unique take on the various questions. Naithin has also tackled this line of enquiry and you can find his answers at Time to Loot. As ever I tend to deviate from the somewhat binary nature of the questions but that’s the whole point, isn’t it? To open up the scope of the discussion and potentially encourage others to join in. This is why I like these sorts of internet questionnaires and think they contribute much to Blaugust.
Ah, there’s nothing like an internet questionnaire to help you out when you’re scratching your head, desperately trying to think of something to write about. I don’t consider Blaugust to be complete unless there’s at least one of these “question and answer” style blog posts doing the rounds. This one is courtesy of Krikket over at Nerd Girl Thoughts. Do go and have a look at their unique take on the various questions. Naithin has also tackled this line of enquiry and you can find his answers at Time to Loot. As ever I tend to deviate from the somewhat binary nature of the questions but that’s the whole point, isn’t it? To open up the scope of the discussion and potentially encourage others to join in. This is why I like these sorts of internet questionnaires and think they contribute much to Blaugust.
Q: Would you rather play games only on console? OR Would you rather play games only on PC?
A: It very much depends upon the game. I recently bought a Nintendo Switch to be able to have access to games such as Mario Kart 8. Playing games of this variety with a controller is ideal. However, I find that playing some game franchises on a PC is preferable, such as Assassin’s Creed. Both platforms serve specific purposes and occupy a particular niche. As I’ve written previously, I made the change from console to PC gaming roundabout 1995, although for a few years I used both platforms equally. I do find console exclusive titles a little frustrating although from a business perspective I see the sense of them. This is why I was both surprised and pleased when Days Gone was unexpectedly ported from the PS5 to the PC. However, all things considered PC gaming is my platform of choice and the majority of the games that I own are for this format.
Q: Would you rather play only singleplayer games? OR Would you rather only play multiplayer games?
A: I am predominantly disposed towards singleplayer games, as your enjoyment and progress are not in any way dependent on other people. However, I have spent many a happy hour in the company of friends in an MMORPG. Out of all the varieties of multiplayer games, that is the genre I enjoy the most. Mainly because your interaction is with established colleagues who are a known quantity and there is less scope for drama and shenanigans. Although I will play games such as Call of Duty: Warzone, it is a lottery as to whether you’re going to have an enjoyable and productive time, due to the random grouping that occurs and the overall nature of pickup groups. I think that multiplayer games, where possible, should always have an AI bot option.
Q: Would you rather play only games you already own? OR Would you rather play only games you would need to still acquire?
A: The grass is always greener, especially with regard to games you do not own and that everyone else is playing. I have numerous game libraries spanning multiple platforms filled with games that I haven’t yet played. And then there is the Epic Game Store which regularly gives away premium titles. Do I really need them? No. Do I still acquire them? Yes. I suppose what this ultimately highlights is the ephemeral nature of video games. A game is the talk of the internet one day and then six months later, very much yesterday’s news. However, if you’re content to play titles that others may consider “old hat”, then you’ll have plenty of good and reasonably priced games to play through.
Q: Would you rather play only games that challenge you mentally? OR Would you rather play only games that challenge you physically?
A: I primarily play games for entertainment. That may include a degree of both mental and physical challenge. However, I tend to avoid games that are based exclusively upon either of these two options. I no longer play complex platformer games where rhythm and coordination are paramount as I find them frustrating. I don’t like games that are rife with puzzles or require you to manage numerous resources because to me that simply isn’t fun, it’s a job. I don’t mind a challenge in a game but I don’t actively seek those titles that are comparable to the labours of Hercules. I don’t seek or require personal validation through success in a video game. I have, however, fallen off my chair playing Mortal Kombat.
Q: Would you rather play only long / endless games? OR Would you rather play only games that are less than 20 hours long?
A: Again both types of games have their virtues. I like MMOs as they do grow in content over time and their longevity offers the illusion of stability and routine, which is very comforting. However, I like games that can be completed in 20 or thirty hours. Some RPGs can outstay their welcome, narratively speaking. As ever with video games, what I play is very much dependent upon my frame of mind.
Q: Would you rather play only games released in the last 10 years? OR Would you rather play only games released more than 10 years ago?
A: ’m not overly enamoured with the binary nature of this question, as I play both old and new games. Furthermore, there are numerous games from a decade ago that still hold up incredibly well. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Mass Effect 2 and L.A. Noire for example. However, from a logical perspective, sticking with newer games is by far the better option. Older games get reboots or remasters and there is always a continuous output of new material. Hence, this choice is the best of both worlds.
Have You Ever... The Gaming Edition!
Oh look, another internet questionnaire blog post. By now you must be aware of my weakness for these sorts of things (if not then take a look at the links to related posts at the bottom of this article). It would appear that the “never have I ever” format has been adapted and we now have a “have you ever” set of questions specifically aimed at gamers. As usual some of the questions are trivial but others offer scope for quite interesting responses. Etiquette dictates that I credit those who have already participated and answered these questions. They are as follows. Michelle over at A Geek Girl’s Guide. Pix1001 from Shoot The Rookie. Joseph Skyrim’s post can be found at JVT Workshop and pkudude99 share their thoughts at Nomadic Gamers. Do check out their take on the questions as there are some interesting replies. On to the questions and answers.
Oh look, another internet questionnaire blog post. By now you must be aware of my weakness for these sorts of things (if not then take a look at the links to related posts at the bottom of this article). It would appear that the “never have I ever” format has been adapted and we now have a “have you ever” set of questions specifically aimed at gamers. As usual some of the questions are trivial but others offer scope for quite interesting responses. Etiquette dictates that I credit those who have already participated and answered these questions. They are as follows. Michelle over at A Geek Girl’s Guide. Pix1001 from Shoot The Rookie. Joseph Skyrim’s post can be found at JVT Workshop and pkudude99 share their thoughts at Nomadic Gamers. Do check out their take on the questions as there are some interesting replies. On to the questions and answers.
Q: Have you ever rage quit a game?
A: In the past, I have logged out of games when frustrated. But I don’t recall ever going the whole hog and logging out and immediately uninstalling a game. I try not to take things so personally these days. I try to foster a mindset that something can only bother you and get under your skin if you choose for it to do so. I do however, leave group games such as Call of Duty Modern Warfare/Warzone if they’re not proving to be fun or I’m playing against demonstrably superior players. I don’t see games as a test of character or some sort of rite of passage. They are services designed to provide enjoyment. I am a consumer and customer, not a zealous neophyte.
Q: Have you ever earned all achievements in a game?
A: Not that I am aware. However, I’m not motivated by such things, especially if all they reward you with is a title.
Q: Have you ever pulled an all-nighter gaming?
A: More times than I care to remember, although they are less frequent these days. However between 2007 and 2016, a period during which I lived alone, I would frequently burn the proverbial midnight oil. MMOs were at one point, a major source of all-night gaming sessions. Especially raids and tricky group content. It’s also relevant to point out that I never pulled an all-nighter gaming for negative reasons. It was all about having fun and from time to time being like a dog with a bone and chasing some reward. Nowadays, if I stay up late gaming, I usually only make it to about 3:00 AM.
Q: Have you ever live-streamed your gaming?
A: I’ve had several goes at streaming. At one point I thought that it may be an interesting alternative to podcasting. But ultimately, I find talking while playing a game difficult. It’s kind of like patting your head while rubbing your belly. If I concentrate on the talking, then the gameplay suffers. If I focus on the gameplay, then banter dries up. So my attempts never quite worked out. Plus another obstacle to cultivating a successful Twitch audience is the fact I swear like a trooper. I have no problem with profanity if used to underpin a strong sentiment. But both Twitch TV and YouTube are becoming generic corporate platforms and such “freedom of expression” does not fit with their business model.
Q: Have you ever pre-ordered a game?
A: I have in the past but having learned the hard way that paying up front is not always the best move, I seldom do it these days. When it comes to games from big companies, I like to wait a while so that all the bugs get fixed and that there are plenty of YouTube videos available to help me with tricky content.
Q: Have you ever bought a game and never played it?
A: Well I’ve bought a lot of game bundles, usually for a specific title, so there have often been games included with the deal that have shall we politely say, “fallen by the wayside”. But if we’re talking about more expensive, contemporary releases from so-called triple A publishers,I think I’ve always played what I’ve purchased. However, let me qualify that statement by adding that on occasions I’ve quickly found out that I don’t like what I’ve bought and those particular titles get uninstalled promptly.
Q: Have you ever been jump-scared by a horror game?
A: Yes, there have been some games that have caught me out with a jump scare. However, I have an abiding love of cinema, especially the horror genre. I’m not a fan of jump scares because they are relatively easy to achieve. Therefore any film that relies upon them too much is somewhat of a one trick pony. hence, I feel exactly the same when such a tactic is ported over to video games. Atmosphere, narrative, aesthetics, context and a whole host of other more subtle tools can be used to produce much better scares. However, for the sake of balance, the occasional jump scare, if thoughtfully used can be acceptable.
Q: Have you ever had a set squad for a specific game?
A: No. The nearest I’ve got to this was back in my early MMO days. I played The Lord of the Rings Online with an active kinship (guild) so we always had competent players available to do the heavy lifting when it came to raids and instances. I’ve also over the years spent time in games where I’ve known other players and duo’d with them from time to time. But nowadays, I only group when I have to or if the game has an easy “auto grouping” facility like Star Trek Online.
Q: Have you ever bought a game on multiple platforms?
A: Only once. I owned Unreal Tournament (1999 edition) for the PC and subsequently bought it again when I purchased a bundle of games for the Sega Dreamcast. Since 2000 I have played games exclusively on the PC.
Q: Have you ever got a console for the games specifically?
A: I really wanted to play Red Dead Redemption when it came out and seriously considered buying a Playstation 3 to do so. But having to use a game controller instead of keyboard and mouse was the main stumping block so I didn’t actually do it. I recently gave serious thought to purchasing a Nintendo Switch but the main reason I didn’t is because there wasn’t a specific title that seemed “essential” to me. Unless the latest generation of consoles offers something groundbreaking, I don’t think I’m destined to buy one ever again.
The Return of the Mystery Blogger Award
“The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion”. Okoto Enigma
The Rules:
Ensure the award logo is used in your post.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Mention the original creator of the award and provide a link to their site.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice.
Share a link to your best post(s).
“The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion”. Okoto Enigma
The Rules:
Ensure the award logo is used in your post.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Mention the original creator of the award and provide a link to their site.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice.
Share a link to your best post(s).
I have been tagged again for yet another internet questionnaire. But as I enjoy these sorts of things, this is not an issue and I’m happy to participate a second time. But before I start, I shall be making my usual minor “adjustment” to the rules. I find that nominating other potential participants can be a little problematic. I don’t want to pressurise anyone into feeling obliged to respond to a nomination. Nor do I want anyone to feel excluded because they didn’t receive one. Therefore my standard compromise is to suggest that if you like internet questionnaires and wish to be involved, then do so.
So to begin with, I’d like to thank Dan (AKA Magi) from Indiecator for the nomination. This is the second time he’s asked me to participate, so I assume he finds something of note in my writing. Do go and visit his website or stop by when he’s streaming. You’ll find reviews and social commentary there and it’s always useful to read someone else's perspective on popular subjects.
Three Things About Me:
I have a penchant for organising objects because I like things neat and tidy. I keep my pocket change on the window ledge in my office and stack the coins in size order.
Over the years, I have been gradually losing my sense of smell. This has been further exacerbated since I caught COVID-19 in April. I can still detect odors but not as well as I could a decade ago but luckily there has been no reciprocal deterioration in my sense of taste. In some circumstances having restricted olfaction is an advantage.
I really miss producing a weekly podcast. Contains Moderate Peril podcast ran for 180 episodes and Burton and Scrooge got as far as 32 shows. Over time myself and co-host Brian found a style, tone and show format which worked and built a modest but loyal audience. However, scheduling recordings, finding guests and the complexities of post production were tough. Plus it’s hard to maintain your enthusiasm for specific games and sometimes you feel the need to take a break. Eventually real world commitments put both shows on hiatus and eventually we just stopped doing them altogether. However, I still feel that I have plenty to say on gaming, movies, TV and other aspects of popular culture so I may try one of two things. I might try to record a new show to see how I cope with the work involved and determine if past listeners are still interested. The second option is to try and “gatecrash” someone else’s show. The latter is a lot easier. You just turn up, talk, leave and let someone else do the complicated stuff like editing. Either way, I need to address this podcast itch as it just doesn’t want to go away.
Magi’s Questions:
Q: You have to ban one game for eternity. This game shall never be played or watched again and nobody is allowed to talk about it. Which game do you pick?
A: I’m broadly not an advocate of “banning” things, although I believe there is a case for measured regulation in certain circumstances. For example, I see no reason why someone in western society needs to own a fully automatic assault rifle and have no problem with the current UK regulations for firearms. However, unless a video game is in breach of existing libel and defamation laws, I don’t see why a video game should be banned. I don’t see it as a role of government and the wider establishment to police things that may well be morally reprehensible and in poor taste. We should have the freedom to find out the suitability of a game for ourselves and then make an informed choice as to whether to purchase it ourselves. We also have the right to protest against it and upbraid those who created it. But I don’t hold with “cancel culture” and “no platforming”. You win arguments and hold the ethical high ground by engagement. Not by pretending something doesn’t exist.
Q: How was your day? What have you been up to? Hope you’re well.
A: At the time of writing this blog post, I have just taken my late Father’s best suit, regimental tie and shoes along to the funeral directors, in preparation for his cremation next Monday. Have a wild guess how my day’s been. Usually I am a content, self sufficient person but the last two months have been difficult to say the least. However, once my Father’s funeral is over and I get the chance to grieve, privately and on my own terms, I’m sure I will be okay. Because life goes on and I’m too old now with too few days ahead of me to waste on sadness and problems.
Q: If you could take any vehicle/plane/etc. from any game/show/book/whatever to use in our world, what would you pick and where would you go?
A: Sam Loover’s car from Joe 90. I don’t drive. I never have done so. So my response is based purely upon the impression this vehicle left on me when I first saw it as a child. And the fact that it still looks cool. And because it has self sealing and re-inflating tyres. Plus I had a toy version of it during the seventies.
Q: This one’s weird! It’s not a question… it’s an answer! “No, but the raisings certainly belong to this office.” – Find the question that this answer answers!
A: I don’t understand what the answer means. Perhaps the question comes from someone recovering from a major head injury or someone who is not a native speaker of English. Can the verb raise be used in such a fashion? This question would also have been a lot more fun if the answer has been “No but the raisins certainly belong to the office”, because then I could weave a tale of dried fruit based theft and intrigue.
Q: What’s your favourite Indie title that you personally love that nobody seems to know?
A: I stepped completely out of my comfort zone when I bought Hand of Fate in 2015. This deck based game which blends RPG style action combat really grabbed my attention upon its release. It’s quirky, intriguing and has brilliant voice acting by Anthony Skordi as the sinister “Dealer”. The sequel, Hand of Fate 2, improved the game and did something very clever with the existing narrative. It effectively turned the protagonist from the first installment IE the character you previously played, into the antagonist that you were playing against, the second time round. Both games had a great score by composer Jeff van Dyck. In many ways these games are exemplars of the indie gaming ethos. Sadly Defiant Development closed down shortly after the release of Hand of Fate 2, which is a damn shame. They’re next project, A World in my Attic, looked very interesting.
My Questions:
Does it concern you that so many video games are predicated upon or at least involve acts of violence towards other people?
What is your relationship with academia and intellectual rigour? Do you enjoy weighty documentaries and non-fiction books? Do you like understanding complicated issues? Do you revere knowledge? Or does all of the above perplex or disinterest you?
What is the biggest and most profound change in your life that you've personally experienced in the last decade?
Do you enjoy silence or does a lack of noise or conversation bother you?
What fills you with a sense of joy?
Finally, here’s a link to my best posts :)
Mystery Blogger Award
“The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion”. Okoto Enigma
The Rules:
Ensure the award logo is used in your post.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Mention the original creator of the award and provide a link to their site.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice.
Share a link to your best post(s).
“The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion”. Okoto Enigma
The Rules:
Ensure the award logo is used in your post.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Mention the original creator of the award and provide a link to their site.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice.
Share a link to your best post(s).
I appear to have been tagged for yet another internet questionnaire. However, I’ve stated previously in numerous blog posts, that I have a weakness for these sorts of things, so I don’t consider this a problem. But before I start, I shall be making one minor “adjustment” to the rules. I find that nominating other potential participants can be a little problematic. I don’t want to pressurise anyone into feeling obliged to respond to a nomination. Nor do I want anyone to feel excluded because they didn’t receive one. I think the best compromise is to suggest that if you like internet questionnaires and wish to get involved, simply take the initiative and do so.
So to begin with, I’d like to thank Dan (AKA Magi) from Indiecator for the nomination and kind words about my writing. It’s nice to know that someone finds some merit in my ramblings. Do go and peruse his website or stop by when he’s streaming. Dan has all the enthusiasm and optimism of youth and this is reflected in the earnest nature of his content.
Three Things About Me:
I think “Deaf, Dumb and Blind” by Clawfinger is the worst album I ever bought in youth. The lyrics are staggering puerile as the band struggle to address complex social issues.
I recently bought a picnic backpack because I really like going out and having picnics.
When I was at Junior School, there was a sports day each summer. If you weren’t deemed “suitable” for regular events such as the 100 metres or high jump, you’d find yourself in the “catch the train” race. This involved getting out of a sleeping bag, removing a pair of pyjamas and then having to navigate an obstacle course while carrying a precariously balanced object. It was deemed “socially undesirable” by pupils to find oneself in this race. Those who participated were usually “bad at sports” and were openly mocked by teachers. Schools were different in the seventies.
Magi’s Questions:
Q: What’s the weirdest combination of food items that you can think of that should not work… but actually does work really good?
A: Marmite and peanut butter works well together on toast. Especially when accompanied by a good Stout. Lime pickle complements black pudding.
Q: What’s the most important thing you’ve learned over the course of time in regards to Blogging and/or Streaming?
A: Keep going. If you are looking to build an audience or to simply become part of a community, then ensure you steadily produce content and maintain a presence. You get better at anything through practise. Also, be nice. The internet never forgets and assholery has a knack of catching up with you.
Q: You’re forced to swap out your country’s “leader” (party/politician/etc.) with a videogame antagonist (like Borderlands’ “Handsome Jack”). What antagonist do you choose and why exactly?
A: I’d swap the current UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson with Doctor Neo Cortex from Crash Bandicoot, because at least he has a plan.
Q: What are the top 5 games on your wishlist and what’s the next thing you’ll get?
A: My wishlist is somewhat neglected. Not much “floats my boat” at present. I was briefly excited by Star Wars: Squadrons but the moment I found out it was first person only I lost interest. Hopefully, they’ll be another Sniper Elite game in 2021.
Q: Do you have a playlist/some playlists for different tasks in games like grinding or PvP, etc. and if so, can you share them with us and explain why you use them for those specific tasks?
A: If I’m grinding arbitrary dailies or resource farming in an MMO, then I’ll listen to a podcast while doing so. Such as Massively OP Podcast, A Podcast to the Curious, Rule of Three or the Geek to Geek Podcast.
My Questions:
Do you feel that “life” is something that you actively participate in or something that just happens to you. Has it lived up to your “expectations”?
How would you go about encouraging collaboration and rewarding it in a sandbox game, so that it doesn’t just become another race to the bottom?
Have you had enough of Star Wars?
What the fuck is “building character”. Is it simply a convenient alibi for sociopaths and bullies?
Liberal values encourage us not to judge on appearance, especially in “affairs of the heart”. But humans behaviour is greatly shaped by the fact that we perceive so much of the world visually. Can this dichotomy be reconciled?
Finally, here’s a link to my best posts :)
"Have You Ever?"
As some of you may know, I have a weakness for internet questionnaires. Yes, they can be looked upon as self indulgent filler that you post on a day when you’re strapped for inspiration, if you want to be snippy about them. But I find them quite insightful as I like to know about the people whose blogs I read. Sometimes it’s just as much about the person as it is about the blog post. “You are your own brand” and all that. But I digress. I saw this particular questionnaire over at Ace Asunder. Solarayo borrowed it from Quietschisto of RNG, who in turn purloined it from Chrisse of Vamp It Up Manchester who created the questions. There’s a broad spectrum of enquiries and scope for some informative and entertaining answers. So let us begin.
Get you. Filling in a questionnaire with a fountain pen…
As some of you may know, I have a weakness for internet questionnaires. Yes, they can be looked upon as self indulgent filler that you post on a day when you’re strapped for inspiration, if you want to be snippy about them. But I find them quite insightful as I like to know about the people whose blogs I read. Sometimes it’s just as much about the person as it is about the blog post. “You are your own brand” and all that. But I digress. I saw this particular questionnaire over at Ace Asunder. Solarayo borrowed it from Quietschisto of RNG, who in turn purloined it from Chrisse of Vamp It Up Manchester who created the questions. There’s a broad spectrum of enquiries and scope for some informative and entertaining answers. So let us begin.
Driven or been driven at 100 mph/160 kmh?
I don’t drive, so I haven’t driven at such a speed. However, I have been driven by others and the experience greatly depended on who was driving. Mrs P is a good and considerate driver. My son on the other hand...
Learned a possibly deadly skill?
Yes. Flower arranging with Triffids.
Ridden in a helicopter?
Yes at Farnborough Airshow. I was surprised at the rapid acceleration and climb of the helicopter, which I was expecting to be slower. Although it was only a relatively short trip, it afforded a great view of the air field and certainly put in perspective why these vehicles are so important to the military. Damn noisy inside, though.
Gone zip lining?
Not been on a zip line but I’ve done abseiling/rappelling in my youth. Not too keen on heights so this was a real challenge. However, it was supervised by an ex-soldier who was calm and professional. If it was any other instructor, I probably wouldn’t have done it.
Been to an NFL game or Ice Hockey?
I’ve seen The Chatham Cyclones play Ice Hockey several times. It’s not exactly a difficult game to follow with excessively complex and esoteric rules (I’m looking at you Cricket). I especially enjoyed the Zamboni.
Watched Dr Who?
I am a child of the seventies. Doctor Who was an integral part of my youth. I watched from the Jon Pertwee years right the way up to Sylvester McCoy. I watched the rebooted show for a while and I recognise that it is a good modern presentation of the concept. But Tom Baker is my favourite incarnation of the Doctor.
Been to Canada?
Not yet.
Visited Disney?
We considered taking our son to Disneyland Paris in the late nineties but he quickly moved on from his “Disney phase” to being obsessed with Power Rangers and Pokemon, so we missed the proverbial boat and saved a fortune.
Visited an actual castle?
I live in the UK. You can’t walk for more than 10 minutes without tripping over a castle or some other historical building. So, yes, I’ve visited dozens and I still really enjoy doing so. Visited the Tower of London back in early 2018 and Rochester Castle last summer.
Visited Vegas?
No and I’m not likely to do so. And yes, this is down to cultural snobbery.
Eaten alone at a restaurant?
In 2006 I went self employed and subsequently spent a decade working short term contracts and later running my own IT consultancy. During this period I would often dine alone and it wasn’t unusual to see others in a similar line of work do the same. Initially it was an odd experience and I felt a little self conscious but that quickly passed and I found it to be an agreeable experience. You don’t have to compromise on your choice of restaurant to please others, nor do you have to share your meal. Dining in silence after a long day can be quite relaxing. I would often read a paper or a book while waiting to be served. Plus I often passed on the cost to my clients or claimed a meal allowance.
Played an instrument?
I dimly recollect learning to play the recorder at primary school. With hindsight, I have come to realise that it is an inherently evil instrument designed to torment parents and music lovers alike. Beyond that I have little or no musical skill.
Ridden a motorcycle?
No. As I mentioned earlier, I do not drive. And if I did, I wouldn’t touch a motorcycle. I see them simply as a fast path to organ donation.
Ridden a horse?
I went pony trekking several times as a child. My sister-in-law also used to keep horses. Horse riding is uncomfortable and generates a lot of work afterwards as the beasties are high maintenance. Plus horses are not to be trifled with. I was in a horse’s way once, so it put its head against my back and just pushed me aside. I think it threw me several metres. The bastards also bite. So horses can sod off. Plus Haribo is mainly made from them.
Donated blood?
When I worked for the government, the NHS Blood Service used to come to our office and harvest our blood, or if you prefer, took donations. I did this as it got me an extra 30 minute break and a free cup of tea and biscuits. Quid pro quo and all that.
Been skiing/snowboarding?
Now you’re being daft.
Gone camping?
I could write an entire blog post on this subject. Let it suffice to say that camping is shit. I like comfy hotel rooms, clean bed linen, mini bars and room service. Plus I’ve yet to hear about someone having their face eaten off by a bear in any major hotel chain.
Gone to a festival?
Yes, several times. I used to like live music events in my youth. Now I’m happy to stay in the comfort of my home and watch them on TV. If I find myself nostalgic for the festival ambience I can piss on my own shoes, take a shit in the corner of the room and dine on pot noodles for 48 hours.
Driven a stick shift?
Do you mean a vehicle with a manual gearbox? No, again I do not drive.
Ridden in a police car?
Yes. Both as a passenger and as a suspect. Oh the heady days of my youth.
Driven a boat?
One of the best holidays I ever had was in 1990, when myself and three friends rented a boat and travelled the Norfolk Broads. Steering the boat was quite enjoyable and we only crashed into the Reedham Car Ferry once. Hitting my head on the low beam as I entered the “conning tower” was such fun. Oh how we laughed and continued to drink.
Eaten Escargot?
Yes. Last time was a few years ago at the Coq d’Argent restaurant at Poultry, London. No real difference between snails and regular shellfish really. The flavour really comes from the sauce that they’ve been cooked in. I got given a bunch of fancy tools to hold the shell and dig out the edible part. I coped well and didn’t disgrace myself.
Been on a cruise?
No. I have nothing against them, apart from the virus outbreaks, the fires and the capsizing. But have you seen the people that go on them? Awful.
Been on TV?
Yes. When I was a civil servant I was active in the trade union. During a strike, I featured in video footage that was used in a news bulletin. I also provided a soundbite about pay increases for a radio journalist.
Been in a paper/book/magazine?
I was mentioned again for similar reasons in a trade union magazine once.
Eaten Sushi?
Yes, frequently. It’s not unusual to quote Tom Jones.
Seen a UFO?
I’ve seen things that I cannot identify before (mainly due to alcohol) but upon mature reflection do not think that they were of extraterrestrial origin.
Been Bungie Jumping?
No. I see no need to detach my retinas and damage my spine at the hands of an Australian called Hunter or Ethan (It’s always Aussies that run these things in my experience).
Rescued an animal?
I put a spider outside this very morning.
Met someone rather famous?
This is another subject that could be its own blog post. Furthermore, I have a lot to say about the old adage of “never meet your heroes”. But not here. To summarise, I stood next to Ed Lauter at Embankment Tube Station. I literally bumped into Timothy West in The Strand. And as a member of the British Film Institute, I’ve met the following people after Q&A events that they’ve held. Ray Harryhausen, Rick Baker, Peter Jackson, Michael Winner and Nick Park among others.
Real Neat Blogger Awards
I got tagged by fellow blogger, Magimos, as part of the Real Neat Blogger Awards. Now I’m not entirely sure what that is. It’s one of those things where you get asked a bunch of questions, then get to set some yourself and then tag other people to answer them. I certainly don’t mind answering questions. I’ve already written in previous posts how I’m a sucker for internet surveys. But I’m not keen on tagging people. It’s a little invasive for my liking and I’m a stickler for etiquette. By all means ask people if they’d like to participate but never inflict things on people without consent. To me it’s the same as random people cold calling and trying to sell you stuff. Or religious types, knocking on your front door and asking if you’d like to join a Cthulhu cult. So I’ll just write my responses to Magimos questions and then write a few questions of my own, which I’ll leave for other to reflect upon and answer if they see fit.
I got tagged by fellow blogger, Magimos, as part of the Real Neat Blogger Awards. Now I’m not entirely sure what that is. It’s one of those things where you get asked a bunch of questions, then get to set some yourself and then tag other people to answer them. I certainly don’t mind answering questions. I’ve already written in previous posts how I’m a sucker for internet surveys. But I’m not keen on tagging people. It’s a little invasive for my liking and I’m a stickler for etiquette. By all means ask people if they’d like to participate but never inflict things on people without consent. To me it’s the same as random people cold calling and trying to sell you stuff. Or religious types, knocking on your front door and asking if you’d like to join a Cthulhu cult. So I’ll just write my responses to Magimos questions and then write a few questions of my own, which I’ll leave for other to reflect upon and answer if they see fit.
Which one of your posts was the most fun to write? Why? I tend to enjoy writing all of my posts, although that said, sometimes when I’m researching an in-depth film review, I do get a strong sense of satisfaction. I like detail and supporting anecdotes. When writing longform posts about gaming, I enjoy a well-constructed argument that has supporting points and evidence. And as I write initially for myself, I have a tendency to laugh at my own jokes. Hence, I often include all sorts of superfluous pop culture references mainly because they make me smile. As for a favourite post that was most fun to write, I don’t believe I have one yet. May be that is to come.
Do you like milk and sugar in your tea or coffee? I spent nearly a decade working short term contracts and being self-employed. One of the things I quickly learned when regularly attending new work environments, was not to expect any facilities such as a fridge or access to a kitchen. So I trained myself to drink black coffee and to use sweeteners. I would often bring bottled water, instant coffee, a cup and “Sweetex”. An adequate cup of coffee could then be made with a microwave. If the latter was lacking on a lengthy contract, I’d buy one and added it to my expenses. However, now that I have stopped working, I enjoy drinking quality coffee with brown sugar. Oddly, despite being British I tend not to drink tea.
Do you prefer Dogs or Cats? In principle I like both cats and dogs. Pets bring immense joy to people and can be invaluable companions. As a child our family had cats. Mrs P was the opposite and favoured dogs. However, due to a range of factors we have not had pets since then. We have lived in premises where pets were not allowed and have held jobs where accommodating a pet hasn’t been practical. We have reconsidered the situation again recently but the big reason not to have a pet this time is personal health. However, my son has just acquired a kitten, so I can enjoy that by proxy.
What Harry Potter house are you in? (I’m a hufflepuff btw!) Bauhaus? Shit House? The Last House on the Left? Joking aside. I’d probably be in Slytherin just to be different. Bad guys always have more fun.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten? Baby Octopus. Pickled.
The God of Art has elected you to help him with a difficult question. You have to either delete one of your favourite shows/movies/games for ever or create another sequel/part/etc. of your least favourite show/movie/game! What do you do and what do you choose? I know this question was made in good faith, intended to be a fun thought experiment. However, I fundamentally dislike the concept that underpins it. IE The elimination of historical information. There are many aspects or our culture, be they events, concepts or social trends that can be retrospectively deemed problematic by contemporary standards. You cannot simply paint them out of existence and it is extremely dangerous to even countenance such things. The past has to be viewed within context. Also with regard to this question, I’m not too keen on deities of any kind. Except may be Cthulhu (as I’ve mentioned him twice now). So bearing all this in mind, it makes it very hard for me to address the question. Although the Steve Martin remakes of The Pink Panther are utter shite.
What’s your favourite (movie/show/game) antagonist? This is an interesting question because when you think about it, antagonists tend to be far more complex and engaging characters, or at least they are in well written video games, movies and TV shows. So I could go for some cerebral response like Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando) in Apocalypse Now. Or how about the actor Michael Ironside? He’s played numerous charismatic bad guys throughout his career. But upon mature reflection, I prefer someone more matter of fact like Jason Vorhees from the Friday the 13th franchise. He’s uncomplicated and very consistent. Oh and let’s give the late great Alan Rickman a mention, as The Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. He gives a wonderfully theatrical performance and has some killer dialogue.
My questions: Here are my questions that I have set. Some are serious, and others are light-hearted. If anyone sees fit to answer them, do let me know as I’d be interested in reading them.
1. How do you explain your passion for games to those who don't "get it"?
2. Do you have faith in your country’s political institutions?
3. Do you regret anything that you've written or said on a podcast?
4. Do you find common place social conventions, such as going for a drink after work, or inviting colleagues’ round to dinner, a pleasure or a chore? (Feel free to replace examples with something more appropriate to you if required).
5. If you played games as a child, did your parents place any restrictions upon your pastime?
6. You are standing behind someone who is unaware of your presence. Armed only with a seven-inch filleting knife, what is the most efficient way to kill them?
7. Do you consider video game ratings to be important?
8. Do you ever find that your own personal values, principles and ethics put at odds with the wider gaming community?
9. Share a valuable lesson about life that you've learnt the hard way.
10. Is there a blogger or podcaster who has quit the scene or retired that you would like to see make a return?
The Pleasure of Internet Questionnaires
Naithin over at Time to Loot has compiled a Blaugust related internet questionnaire. As I’ve made clear in the past, I have a weakness for these sorts of things and will happily indulge the most peculiar enquiries. I’m not really sure why I like to do questionnaires. Perhaps I feel at some level that even the crassest or vacuous of questions can yield a good or at least entertaining answer. Not that I’m saying that Naithin’s questions are any of those things. In fact I think they are quite engaging. The other thing about questionnaires is that I can make a really obscure and impenetrable pop culture reference about the band Sparks. So here are my responses to the all of them in full. An unedited stream of consciousness or load of bollocks, depending upon your perspective. I hope some of the other Blaugust participants also take part. It will be interesting to compare notes, so to speak.
Naithin over at Time to Loot has compiled a Blaugust related internet questionnaire. As I’ve made clear in the past, I have a weakness for these sorts of things and will happily indulge the most peculiar enquiries. I’m not really sure why I like to do questionnaires. Perhaps I feel at some level that even the crassest or vacuous of questions can yield a good or at least entertaining answer. Not that I’m saying that Naithin’s questions are any of those things. In fact I think they are quite engaging. The other thing about questionnaires is that I can make a really obscure and impenetrable pop culture reference about the band Sparks. So here are my responses to the all of them in full. An unedited stream of consciousness or load of bollocks, depending upon your perspective. I hope some of the other Blaugust participants also take part. It will be interesting to compare notes, so to speak.
What hobbies or interests do you have that you might not regularly include on your blog?
I used to paint and draw a lot when I was younger. It something that runs in the family on my Dad’s side. I joined the school art club as a teenager and would have happily taken an art exam at GCE O Level but it was not to be. When I later became a Father, I would draw with my son but when he got older, it once again fell by the wayside. It’s a hobby that has returned now that I’m a Grandfather. I like to do simple line drawings with a pencil and if I paint, I favour water colours. However, at present I’m mainly called upon to draw Peppa Pig and such like. It’s a very relaxing pastime and if I’m in the right frame of mind, I don’t mind sharing my doodles online. May be one day I may take a formal course and learn to draw human anatomy properly. Oh and I’m also a big fan of travel Kabaddi.
Are you learning any skills at the moment? If not, what would you like to learn?
For the majority of my adult life I have worked with information technology and as such, a lot of the skills I have gained have been self-taught. I suspect it is the nature of the industry and the people who work in it. Blogging has been a learning experience, although I have always enjoyed writing in some shape or form. Running a blog has given me a modicum of basic design skills, as well as a simple overview in relevant coding. When I started the Contains Moderate Peril podcast, that was another area in which I had to learn on the fly. Recording, editing and other aspects of post-production are skills I have picked up via You Tube and other internet resources. I like to learn how to do things and see life an ongoing opportunity for self-improvement. This year, the latest “project” has been live streaming. It has both technical and communication-based challenges. Yet so far, the results have been okay. Well, no one’s filled a restraining order.
If you were invited on a one-way trip to Mars to establish a new colony, would you go?
No. I want to live the remainder of my life in peace, comfort and relative solitude. I’ll leave the one-way ticket to Mars to those who are qualified and who want to contribute to the greater good. I’ve paid my societal “dues”. I was a trade union member; I’ve been on demonstrations protesting about burning injustices and I’ve done jury service. Over the years I have also regularly given to charity and tried to think of others interests when voting. So although I like science, Professor Brian Cox and the concept of space exploration, Mars can basically fuck off. Michael Palin likes to travel, send him.
What is the one thing that you most want readers to come away from your blog with? A feeling, thought, or understanding.
The British Broadcasting Corporation was founded upon the principles of “inform, educate and entertain”. I do not consider Contains Moderate Peril to be in any capacity commensurate with that august institution but I certainly believe in their abiding sentiments. When I write a detailed film review or a long from post critiquing an aspect of the video games industry, I hope that I have made some lucid and salient points as well as given the reader pause for thought in an engaging fashion. I aspire to make my written output appealing on some level, so that people will leave comments, or interact with me and others on social media. I feel that I am part of a community and that I act as an ambassador in some capacity. May be if people like what they’ve read, it will encourage them to get involved. I put a great deal of stock in writing and would encourage all to avail themselves of its positive merits.
What excites you most about having a blog?
The fact that I have a corner of the world where I can order my thoughts and then share theme. It also presents an opportunity to engage with others on what I consider to be a fairly level playing field. I sure a psychiatrist would have a field day analysing my motivations, but I suspect having a blog is a symbolic act. A means of trying to impose a little order on a universe that is hell bent on doing things its own way. A blog is also a socially acceptable means of controlling one’s “look at me” genes, which we all have to a greater or lesser degree. Plus it can be used as a front for exchanging covert messages, according to an episode of NCIS I recently watched.
If you could make one thing from a book, TV show or movie real, and in your possession, what would it be?
Definitely the One Ring. On second thoughts a phaser. Actually loads of shit from Star Trek. Falkor the Luckdragon. No sod that, Vermithrax Pejorative from Dragonslayer instead. A Glaive. No not some fool polearm, I mean like from Krull. Or maybe the Lament Configuration. Nope, that could be painful. Howabout Thunderbird 2? Gizmo from Gremlins. Or a friendly Cylon. Like the one in that episode of Galactica 1980, when Starbuck was marooned and rebuilt a broken one to be his companion. I wouldn’t say no to a real Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. So many possibilities. A more practical answer would be a number Swiss bank account with an undisclosed sum of money that was set aside for CIA wet work and accidently forgotten about. Fuck it, I’d settle for a suitcase full of used £20 notes. Or an endless supply of gin.
They say everyone has at least one book in them — if you were to write a book, what would it be about?
Oh I have a book currently in development hell. I drafted the basic structure, its various chapters and what they will cover over three years ago. I have detailed notes along with all the various data sources that are to be referenced. I researched in-depth how you craft a non-fiction book and spent about nine months laying down the foundations. And then I fell victim to a common malady among writers. I got despondent because it was taking too long and then got distracted with my other projects that could yield more immediate results. But the book is going to be dusted off and put firmly back on the agenda, because I have spoken to a few people who work in publishing and they think it could be a viable undertaking. So at some point soon, I will have to pull my finger out and just apply myself to writing the damn thing. As for the subject matter, it’s about my personal relationship with cinema over the course of five decades. It’s squarely aimed at film nerds.
The Proust Questionnaire Part 2
At the beginning of November, I started to answer the various questions set out in The Proust Questionnaire, mainly because at some level I do like the occasional insight that “internet questions” can provide. Although most of my answers are frequently tinged with a degree of levity and at times even scorn, every now and then the right question can provoke a sincere response. So here are my measured replies to the remaining interrogative enquiries, for your consideration and edification. If you do not agree with them or find yourself at odds with my mindset, please address any complaints care of the late Marcel Proust (10th July 1871 - 18th November 1922).
At the beginning of November, I started to answer the various questions set out in The Proust Questionnaire, mainly because at some level I do like the occasional insight that “internet questions” can provide. Although most of my answers are frequently tinged with a degree of levity and at times even scorn, every now and then the right question can provoke a sincere response. So here are my measured replies to the remaining interrogative enquiries, for your consideration and edification. If you do not agree with them or find yourself at odds with my mindset, please address any complaints care of the late Marcel Proust (10th July 1871 - 18th November 1922).
18). If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? This is an odd question because if implies that changing one thing about yourself is impossible and can only be discussed in the abstract. This is of course nonsense. We can change ourselves physically via exercise, or surgery, make up or even by bathing regularly. As for making emotional, philosophical or psychological change to oneself, there are equally just as many options. I have always embraced the concept of continuous self-improvement. My life is a work in progress.
19). What do you consider your greatest achievement? I raised a son who now has a family of his own. He’s a thoroughly decent human being. Far more so than I. I helped contribute to this.
20). If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? If I was a seventies comedian from the North of England, I’d probably say “a woman’s bicycle saddle”. But I’m not, so I’ll go with an incurable plague virus.
21). Where would you most like to live? Robertsbridge in East Sussex. Or Horsham in West Sussex.
22). What is your most treasured possession? Walter.
23). What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? I assume this question is supposed to be drawn from your own experience. If so, the most emotionally challenging period of my life and when I was “the most miserable” would be when I got divorced and the accompanying emotional trauma that comes with such a situation.
24). What is your favourite occupation? Interesting. Does this question mean occupation as in job or in the sense of an activity or pursuit? Either way, for me it’s writing. I’m content whenever I am sitting at my desk, typing away on my PC, expressing my thoughts. I like the clarity that writing can bring as well as constructing a measured and logical argument. I also like the banter that can be found on Twitter (if you follow the right people).
25). What is your most marked characteristic? I suspect it may be my sense of humour and my somewhat sardonic manner. The world is a very odd, incongruous and at times illogical place. The current intellectual blackout that is spreading throughout western democracies, scares the hell out of me along with the general decline of politics. Therefore, I use humour and an irreverent attitude as a coping mechanism and prism through which to view life, without being directly broken by its crushing futility and inherent unfairness. I consider humour to be an important human characteristic, as long as one has the ability to focus that humour at oneself, as well as the rest of the world. Beware those individuals who lack any sense of mirth. I believe it betrays more about their nature.
26). What do you most value in your friends? The fact that they know me and yet still stick around.
27). Who are your favourite writers? JRR Tolkien, MR James, Charles Dickens, Ray Bradbury, Agatha Christie, Arthur C Clarke, Saki, HP Lovecraft, Roger Hargreaves, Richard Dawkins, Shirley Jackson, Nigel Kneale, Alan Moore, Arthur Conan-Doyle, HG Wells, Isaac Asimov, William Hope Hodgson, Rod Serling, Marcus Aurelius and many more.
28). Who is your hero of fiction? The Hungry Caterpillar. Also, Mr Tickle and Sam Gamgee.
29). Which historical figure do you most identify with? Robin Hood. I had to wear a stylised Robin Hood outfit in a school play when I was very young. The experience left me traumatised. I bet the real Robin Hood’s outfits were made by his mum.
30). Who are your heroes in real life? Everyday people that do “good” things without the benefit of media scrutiny or praise.
31). What are your favourite names? Xavier, Telemachus, St John (pronounced Sinjun) and Throatwobblermangrove.
32). What is it that you most dislike? A lack of critical thinking. Emotive beliefs and the politics of “feelings”. And people with poor personal hygiene. Wash your clothes and bathe regularly.
33). What is your greatest regret? Leaving my finger prints at the crime scene.
34). How would you like to die? What a stupid question. In my sleep of course and not being torn to pieces by a pack of rabid animals or having my nuts bitten of by a Laplander.
35). What is your motto? Pecuniam vertemus which translates as “Take the money and run”.
The Proust Questionnaire Part 1
The Proust Questionnaire was popularized by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering the questions, an individual provides an insight into his or her true nature. Whether that is true is debatable, but I do find the internets fondness for Q&A sessions, curiously fascinating. And as this very questionnaire has been recently resurrected by Vanity Fair magazine and has also been utilised on the Ricky Gervais is Deadly Sirius podcast, I though I’d jump on the same bandwagon, as I’m behind in my writing and this is an easy post. As there are thirty-five questions, I thought I’d tackle them over two days. So, without further ado, here are my considered and measured thought on the first seventeen.
The Proust Questionnaire was popularized by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering the questions, an individual provides an insight into his or her true nature. Whether that is true is debatable, but I do find the internets fondness for Q&A sessions, curiously fascinating. And as this very questionnaire has been recently resurrected by Vanity Fair magazine and has also been utilised on the Ricky Gervais is Deadly Sirius podcast, I though I’d jump on the same bandwagon, as I’m behind in my writing and this is an easy post. As there are thirty-five questions, I thought I’d tackle them over two days. So, without further ado, here are my considered and measured thought on the first seventeen.
1). What is your idea of perfect happiness? I find that I am at my happiest when I am in a tranquil environment. Noise, crowds and any place or activity that has the potential to generate anger of bellicose behaviour are the bane of modern-day life. Give me a quiet, calming location, that is warm and pleasant, and I quickly feel relaxed and thereby better disposed to others. Populate such a place with those who I care about and whose company I enjoy, and it becomes even better. Adding Gin, Pimm’s or a quality red wine doesn’t do any harm either.
2). What is your greatest fear? Putting aside pain which I think is a red herring when tackling this question, for me my greatest fear is losing the capacity to think, reason and martial my thoughts. Senility, Alzheimer's disease and generally any form of mental decay terrify me. These are cruel conditions both for those who suffer from them and their families. To be afflicted in such a way and to slip into a mental decline, only to have occasional moment of lucidity, sends my blood cold.
3). What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? If I make someone a promise, then I’ll keep it. If I take onboard a project that involves others, I will do my part because I have an obligation that I need to honour. Yet, I don’t always maintain this standard if the only person involved is myself. I’ll let things slide if I’m the only one affected.
4). What is the trait you most deplore in others? I’m tempted to say existing in the first place, but that is a little misanthropic. So, on reflection I’ll go with wilful ignorance. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing something. I am poor at languages and there are lots of gaps in my academic knowledge. But if something comes to my attention that I don’t know about, I’ll research it. We live in an age where it has never been so easy to look something up. Yet so many people choose not to. And others even appear to revel in their ignorance. Thinking means having to read, analyse, consider and then make a decision. All things that many do not want to do at present. Every day is a chance at self-improvement, why choose to do the opposite?
5). Which living person do you most admire? This is a tough question. It’s hard to single out just one man or woman, because there are many who worthy of praise. So here are a few just off the top of my head in no order of preference. Ennio Morricone, because his music profoundly moves me, and he bring beauty into a dark world. Human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell, not so much because of his politics, but mainly because of his dedication. He fights for what is just possibly at the expense of his own happiness. I couldn’t do that. The world needs people like this. I may even go so far as also citing Queen Elizabeth II. I’m not a major royalist but I think she is a unique individual. One that really has spent her life serving the nation. The wealth is a merely a trapping. She is about duty to the country. And man, she has had to put up with some appalling visiting heads of state over the years, on top of a never-ending succession of utterly shite Prime Ministers.
6). What is your greatest extravagance? A signed picture of Peter Cushing. Cost a fortune. But it’s the Cushmeister. Say no more.
7). What is your current state of mind? Relaxed. I have arranged to take a brief 36-hour respite from my caring duties. I have tinkered with my PC today, eaten far too many Pork Loins and am now on the Guinness. The world is nicely on the other side of the front door and I’m listening to Anthony Newley. A cold caller phoned earlier by I told them to fuck right off. Take pleasure in the simple things, I say.
8). What do you consider the most overrated virtue? I believe this refers to the twelve virtues attributed to Aristotle, rather than those found in the MMO The Lord of the Rings Online. All of those classical virtues were fairly sound, so I don’t feel the need to pick on one. Using a more contemporary yardstick, being humble is considered a virtuous thing to be. Sadly, it often manifests itself in the form of the humble brag, which is quite the opposite. Plus, virtues are a poison chalice these days. Make a principled stand and you’ll be accused of virtue signalling, which is a pejoratives term.
9). On what occasion do you lie? I like any other human being living in western civilisation, skirt around the truth, make factually incorrect statements and lie by omission on a daily basis. You cannot have a society that runs smoothly if everyone was 100% truthful all the time. Emotions and the truth are a bit like oil and water. So, lying has become a fundamental part of human interaction, although it is governed by a lot of rules. For example, it is okay to lie to children. “There is a Santa Claus”. “Oh, that’s a lovely picture”. And my personal favourite, “you can be anything you want to be”. As an adult we also lie as a social nicety. “No, of course you don’t look like a sack of shit tied up in the middle with a dead tape worm” etc. But there are lines in the societal sand. Lying in grown-up situations around issues of relationships, arson, murder and cannibalism are definite non-starters.
10). What do you most dislike about your appearance? At the age of nearly fifty-one I am beginning to lose that bloom of youth and my saturnine good looks are slowly fading. Plus, I’m not too keen on my eyes. It’s not the colour that concerns me but that old adage about the eyes being the windows of the soul. The realities of the modern world and the fact that life is mostly a bleak and futile experience, akin to picking at a scab, is reflected in my brown eyes. This frequently causes people to recoil and pets to defecate in flowerbeds. It’s not a good look for family photos either.
11). Which living person do you most despise? I don’t think it is healthy or wise to be consumed with abject hate for a person or thing. You can righteously disdain an individual or a course of action, but it helps if you maintain a sense of proportion. That said, there is no shortage of odious lickspittles and shit chiselling fuck monkeys in our world today. They are usually self obsessed, thin skinned, ignorant and devoid of empathy. It’s hard not to want to stove in their skull with a tent mallet. If you asked me this question when I was nine, I would have said Colin Robertson, without missing a beat, as he broke my eagle eye Action Man on purpose. The git.
12). What is the quality you most like in a man? A well developed and nuanced sense of humour. I like raconteurs and people who view the absurdities of the world through the prism of wit. I find that humour helps me no end, especially in my duties as a carer to two elderly people. If I didn’t laugh at what I encounter every day, I weep uncontrollably. I also like people who don’t try and dodge buying a round of drinks when it’s their turn.
13). What is the quality you most like in a woman? Why should this be any different to the quality I most like in men? Unless we’re going down the road of sexual qualities, to which I say keep your nose out of my peccadilloes (not to be confused with hands of my Armadillo). I guess this is just a legacy question from an age when the cultural divide between the sexes was more pronounced and entrenched.
14). Which words or phrases do you most overuse? “Nebulous”, on “mature reflection” and “go piss up a rope, fuck stick”. I am also obsessed with obscure pop culture references, usually taken from my most formative years. Therefore, I’ll frequently drivel on about stuff from seventies and eighties TV, music and movies. For example, I often plagiarise a line from a classic Derek and Clive sketch, regarding “a bird on Mrs Coltart’s roof”.
15). What or who is the greatest love of your life? Mrs P, obviously. If we’re talking about “love” in so far as a passion for an activity, then it is writing and maybe podcasting. There was a about a three-year period when Contains Moderate Peril got a little traction and writing every day was a joy and recording the weekly podcast with Brian and guests was an absolute hoot. Good times.
16). When and where were you happiest? This question implies that I have some how peaked in the happiness stakes and that it’s now just a slow and painful decline into misery and despair, while listening to Lacrimosa by Zbigniew Preisner really loudly. Fuck this question. I live in the moment and there has been happiness throughout my life, as there will be in the years to come. That said, my granddaughters really make me happy as they are so young, loving and unspoilt by life.
17). Which talent would you most like to have? I’d like to be able to play the Baliset like Gurney Halleck.
To be continued.
Comfy Questions
Despite having written a blog posts claiming that there’s always something to write about, even I have days when I’m lacking inspiration. Or more to the point lacking in motivation to write. And today is a prime example. I’d much rather be doing something else, but I made a promise to myself to keep the blog content flowing. However, I discovered a selection of questions that have been doing the rounds, via Marathal over at Deez Words and decided to answer them. I’m sure you know the form. They’re a selection of “touchy-feely”, non-threatening questions designed to give the reader a simple thumbnail sketch of your “personality”. So, I thought to myself, “there’s today’s blog post”. I will try my best to answer sensibly and give as relevant answers as I can, but you know me.
Despite having written a blog posts claiming that there’s always something to write about, even I have days when I’m lacking inspiration. Or more to the point lacking in motivation to write. And today is a prime example. I’d much rather be doing something else, but I made a promise to myself to keep the blog content flowing. However, I discovered a selection of questions that have been doing the rounds, via Marathal over at Deez Words and decided to answer them. I’m sure you know the form. They’re a selection of “touchy-feely”, non-threatening questions designed to give the reader a simple thumbnail sketch of your “personality”. So, I thought to myself, “there’s today’s blog post”. I will try my best to answer sensibly and give as relevant answers as I can, but you know me.
How do I drink my tea? I don’t. Yes, that’s right I’m a British guy and I don’t like or drink tea. I usually drink bog standard black filter coffee. I don’t care for the whole Starbucks culture of taking beverages and infantilising/bastardising them with caramel, halloumi and chives. I like gin and try to drink that as often as I can.
Favourite dessert? I don’t really have favourites. There are something I like more than others, naturally, but why box yourself in with a favourite. Usually I like desserts that compliment the meal that I’ve just had. For example, after a spicy meal, I like something lemony or light and creamy to cleanse the palette.
Favourite season? My first answer about “favourite” notwithstanding, I prefer the summer co’s I like being warm. The cold and wet make me cranky.
What cheers me up? Humour, wit and good conversation. An episode of Yes Minister always lifts my spirits.
Dogs or Cats? I no longer have pets. In the past I’ve had cats, but they are parasitical bastards. But they look cute, so I guess it’s a quid pro quo.
Dream holiday? For me simply having a specific period of time where I am left to my own devices is a sufficient holiday for my needs.
How many kids do you want? I have one and that is sufficient. I have done my part keeping the species going, without excessively pillaging the environment. Yay Me. He’s an adult now and has his own family now.
Favourite weather? Warm weather, with clear skies and a light breeze. About 20-25 Celsius.
What would your last meal be? Hopefully something I like
If you could spend 24 hours anywhere, any year, where would you choose? Insert some cunningly contrived, time travel scheme here, where I could set up some sort of long-term investment plan that would pay off big time now.
If I were a ghost, who or where would you haunt? Jacob Marley. See how he liked it.
What is your family ancestry? My grandfather researched our family tree extensively during his lifetime. We have traced family back to the St. Bartholomew's Day massacre. Prior to that it’s not so clear but we have links to the Frankish kingdom and a Norman warlord.
What scares you? Wilful ignorance, the intellectual blackout that is spreading throughout western culture and the collapse of functional democratic politics and public discourse. I don’t dig spiders either.
What are you most grateful for? The baggage retrieval system they got at Heathrow. Oh, hang on, That was “worried about”. In that case I guess I’m grateful for my health. Enjoy it while you can.
Dream job? I’ve enjoyed the intellectual challenge that various jobs have provided me with over the years, but frankly I don’t like working, especially for others. I am not defined by what I do to get money. For me the dream is complete financial independence and thus not work ever again, just a life of leisure.
Do you believe in aliens? I believe the possibility that they may exist statistically.
Favourite sport? I don’t like sport, unless Mario Kart is a sport, then its Mario Kart.
How do I relax after a long day? A good meal, a fine wine, excellent company, an engaging film, a good book or video game. Any permutation of these will suffice.
If I could meet one historical figure, who would you choose and why? Again no one really. I’ve learned that meeting your heroes can be a real disappointment.
If I had to be a teacher, what subject would you teach? I would like to teach children aged about seven or so, about the realities of life. You know the sort of stuff. Point out why their painting isn’t good enough to go on the fridge or why they can’t actually be a Disney princess and how life is mainly tedium with brief moments of joy.
Describe your perfect day? Being left the fuck alone. It also helps if it involves gin, a mixed grill and some genoa cake.
Describe yourself in a sentence? Hungry.
Who makes me laugh the most? Witty and amusing, intelligent people. Raconteurs (not people who “think” they’re raconteurs).
What super power would you choose? The one that allows me to be left the fuck alone.
Favourite animal? The edible kind.
What is your biggest accomplishment? I’ve raised a child and they didn’t die.
Ten Books of Note - A Personal Selection
Many of my fellow bloggers regularly posts details of what they’ve been reading of late. I must admit that although I received several books and graphic novels as Christmas presents, I’ve yet to start any of them. The bulk of my reading is done via my PC or Tablet and usually tends to be news articles, blog posts and research for my writing. The last book that I physically read was Titus Crow, Volume 3: In the Moons of Borea & Elysia by Brian Lumley and that was last November. So, I’ve decided to get back into reading in the traditional sense and as ever have allotted time in my schedule and set myself goals. As a carer I have numerous appointments to attend throughout the week with my parents. Rather than waste time on my phone perusing twitter and gawping at the internet, I shall use these periods to read.
Many of my fellow bloggers regularly posts details of what they’ve been reading of late. I must admit that although I received several books and graphic novels as Christmas presents, I’ve yet to start any of them. The bulk of my reading is done via my PC or Tablet and usually tends to be news articles, blog posts and research for my writing. The last book that I physically read was Titus Crow, Volume 3: In the Moons of Borea & Elysia by Brian Lumley and that was last November. So, I’ve decided to get back into reading in the traditional sense and as ever have allotted time in my schedule and set myself goals. As a carer I have numerous appointments to attend throughout the week with my parents. Rather than waste time on my phone perusing twitter and gawping at the internet, I shall use these periods to read.
In the meantime, I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and not only set up a reading schedule but write a quick list of some of my favourite books. I would like to stipulate that this is not a "top ten" or a list of books of outstanding literary merit, although I believe some of these titles do fall into the latter category. These are simply books that I've enjoyed reading and that made quite a big impact upon me at the time. All the titles discussed in this post are works of fiction. I’ll more than likely compose a separate list for non-fiction titles. For the record, I have no particular preference for either genre. The only thing I require from a book is that it’s absorbing. A book that cannot hold my interest is soon cast aside.
The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway: I first read this book when I was fifteen and it was the one of the set texts for an exam. I was left bewildered by the themes that the story explores and frankly had little sympathy for the "Old Man". Having re-read in more recent years I now find many of the concepts far more accessible. Santiago's struggle with his Marlin adversary is quite profound and I no longer see the books ending as a failure but a positive validation of the "Old Man" motives.
Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell. Orwell's vision of the future is possibly more relevant today than it was upon its publication in 1949. "Doublespeak" along with "Two Minutes of Hate" seem to be integral aspects of modern life and we seem to have willingly embraced them, rather than had them forced upon us. For me the most powerful aspect of the book is the bleak but utterly plausible ending. I think this book should be mandatory reading in all schools.
The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien: I read The Hobbit as a child but didn't tackle The Lord of the Rings until 1978. I find the depth of history that permeates the text extremely engaging. Even though the events of the third age feel epic, there is still a sense of something even vaster reaching back over time. There are also many thought provoking themes within the narrative and the book holds up to multiple readings, due to its complexity. I am still intrigued by the enigma of Tom Bombadil. This is a book that manages to be many things to many people, finding fans and enthusiasts from all quarters. I like that quality.
The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens: A timeless tale of a group of gentlemen and their misadventures as they travel around the English countryside. As well as being a very interesting snap shot of travel in Dickensian times, this is a genuinely funny collection of stories reflecting the fact that human nature seldom changes over time. This book was instrumental in kindling my love of language. Dickens uses some wonderful words and phrases, many of which I have adopted into my personal lexicon.
At the Mountains of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft: A superb tale that blends both science and the supernatural. Set in a time when the world still held hidden mysteries and vast swathes of the earth remained unexplored, this is a disquieting tale, that builds in atmosphere. Lovecraft's skill lies in exploring the concept of something vast and ancient that lurks just beyond our normal senses. He excels at conveying the idea that we unknowingly share time and space with ancient beings, utterly alien to ourselves. This book is a great introduction into the world of the Cthulhu Mythos.
The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury: Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles is a thoughtful, lyrical collection of short stories about human colonisation of Mars and its consequences it has upon both races. Filled with rich themes and philosophical questions this remains an incredibly thought provoking read. The brief and esoteric insights the stories provide into Martian culture and society are one of the most engaging aspects of the book. The Martian Chronicles is also a snapshot of the prevailing social issues at the time it was written. Many still remain unresolved to this day.
Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome: First published in 1889, Three Men in a Boat is a humorous account by Jerome K. Jerome of a boating holiday on the Thames between Kingston and Oxford. Some humour simply doesn't date and this book is filled with amusing vignettes and comic narrations. Two outstanding incidents are Uncle Podger's attempt at hanging a picture and a curious discussion of "Advantages of cheese as a travelling companion". The undertaker’s comments will remain with me forever. What I like about this book is the fact that the indolence of young men remains constant.
Carnacki the Ghost Finder by William Hope Hodgson: William Hope Hodgson's supernatural detective, Thomas Carnacki, remains criminally underrated in literary circles. This collection of short stories explores several of Cranacki's old cases. Sometimes there are worldly explanations to the various mysteries. Other times there is clear evidence of the opposite. Like Lovecraft, Hodgson hints at a vast, malevolent force outside of human perception. He also mixes science with the occult, with Carnacki frequently using his Electric Pentacle; a series of multicoloured neon tubes. This is weird and baroque fiction at its best.
Twinkle, Twinkle, Killer Kane by William Peter Blatty: Col. Vincent Kane arrives at a remote castle serving as an insane asylum for U.S. Army soldiers where he attempts to rehabilitate them by allowing them to live out their fantasies. It soon becomes apparent that Kane may be just as psychologically disturbed as his patients. Fascinating, tragic and immensely uplifting are just some of the ways I would describe this book. It manages to balance a compelling theological subtext with a strong streak of gallows humour. A very rewarding read and one of the great unsung novels of the seventies.
The Medusa Touch by Peter Van Greenaway: On the surface this is quite a conventional science fiction potboiler, about a disenfranchised writer who has the power to create disaster and catastrophe. However, it is elevated above the mundane by the central character of John Morlar, whose misanthropic narratives are utterly fascinating and sadly quite perceptive. The book also raises some relevant questions about the establishment, various public institutions and their relationship with power, which was a common theme for the author. The cathedral shattering denouement is suitable spectacular.
So, there are ten books that I recommend. As of tomorrow, I embark upon my new reading regime. For my first book of 2017, I’ve opted for some heavyweight non-fiction. I’ve ordered Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. I heard the professor being interviewed on a podcast recently and he raised several points about human nature that I found fascinating. So, I’ll give one of his books a go. If it proves too taxing or beyond my intellect, then I have several short stories by Roger Hargreaves in reserve. His work never fails to delight. In the meantime, feel free to leave a comment and recommend anything you’ve read that you think may be of interest to me.
