“Who Ate All the Pies?”
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
To cut a long story short, I went to the Quack. That’s a Doctor, to those unfamiliar with this term. Furthermore, he’s very good and the furthest thing from a “quack”. Consider it a term of endearment. After a useful discussion, it was decided to remove Bisoprolol, which is a betablocker, from my prescription. Within ten days I started feeling a lot better. No more cramps, breathless ness, headaches or fluid retention in my feet. The other thing we talked about, was the need to lose weight. Mine, not his, obviously. So I immediately embarked on a simple weight loss plan. Nothing complex. So many diets are utter bullshit. Losing weight is essentially a question of reducing your calorific intake. Getting your head round this strategy is another matter.
5 weeks ago I weighed 206 lbs (14 stone 10 lbs or 93.44 kg). The excess weight is mainly on the front of my body, from my hips to about halfway up my rib cage. The plan is to eliminate this mainly so I just feel better physically. As the Doctor said, it feels and acts like having a rucksack of between 10-15lbs weight on the front of your body. Hence it will get in the way, make breathing harder and just generally drain your energy. I have focused on this description and the overall diagnosis as a means of motivation. I am driven by health factor primarily as these are harder to argue against when you want to lapse from diet.
Now there are arguments for weight loss couched in looking better and aesthetics but I do not want to go down that rabbit hole. Excessive self criticism of one’s physical appearance is dangerous. There are entire industries predicated upon making you feel shitty about yourself and then trying to sell you suprious products to remedy it. Plus, if you ask me, people are becoming very generic in the way they dress and look these days and it bores the hell out of me. So much for being an individual. But I degress. I am losing weight to improve my health and so my new T-shirts fit me. I don’t want to have to buy new clothes.
Now it is at this point, readers will say “Yeah, yeah, yeah. We heard this all before. You’ve written several posts on this subject and yet here we are again”. To which I say, “that’s very true”. However, there’s a difference this time. Over the last five weeks I’ve lost 9 lbs, bitches. Not quite sure why I added that epithet but nevermind. I now weigh 197 lbs (14 stone 1 lbs or 89.25 kg). Yes that is a tangible and more importantly noticeable achievement. I still broadly look like Alfred Hitchcock in profile but not as bad as I did at the start of last month. I aim is to go further, with the immediate goal of losing another 8 lbs. In the UK we use the archaic measure of a stone (14 lbs) so to lose exactly one of that unit of weight would be a significant.
So what have I done this time to make progress, that I didn’t do in the past. The answer is simple. Don’t pursue a “scorched earth” policy. By which I means don’t cut out absolutely everything and make yourself miserable in the process. You have to have keep something that you enjoy present in your meals. It’s all about portion control and writing it down. Portion control re-educates your stomach to get used to less. Writing everything that you eat down means it’s much harder to lie and bullshit yourself. I started doing this but found it unecessary. Once I started making progress, that was sufficient to keep me moving forward.
The most noticeable change in my diet is a massive reduction in my alcohol intake. I still drink but it’s mainly two nights a week and it is a modest amount. A bottle/can of beer or a glass of wine. I have tried to eliminate bread as much as I can and excessively processed food. I mainly eat fish, or pork along with vegatables and rice. I have the occasional indulgence such as ice cream or some cake. I keep the amount small. Eggs are also good and filling. As are nuts.
Now here is the really important bit. Is there a single, one size fits all approach to weight loss? Not from a dietry perspective. If following a bespoke regime works for you, then do that. However, there is one unequivocally true fact that determines the success of a diet and that is your psychological approach. You must want to lose weight and you must be prepared to accept the immediate short term inconveniences. If you are unsure, unprepared and unwilling to put up with what weight loss entails then you will not succeed.
I like food. I don’t just eat out of necessity. I enjoy, no I revel in every meal or snack I have. It is a great source of pleasure and comfort. I’m sure that’s how I got in this position of being over weight in the first place. In a tumultuous uncertain world, the pleasure of food has been a constant. That is a side issue and a subject for another blog post. I knew going into this diet that I wasn’t going to like it initially and I was going to be as grumpy as fuck. That has been the case. But I stuck with it because waking up feeling awful every day, was a worse option. Furthermore, after a fortnight, I found that I was beginning to adapt to the my new eating regime. I have also found that if I channel my energy and effort in to some other task, then that is beneficial. Writing throughout August helped me a great deal. So I guess another key aspect of finding the overall right approach to weight loss is keeping yourself busy.
So there you have it. I have lost weight and intend to continue to do so. I have considered whether this post comes across as being smug and I broadly think that isn’t the case. As ever, I believe sharing what has worked for me may be of use to someone else. Ultimately for those in a similar position, who want to lose weight for whatever reason, it all comes down to finding your own personal tipping point. Once you reach that, you are already half there because your head is in the right place. Then it’s just a question of starting, perservering and recognising that it’s going to be initally shitty at times but will get better. So if you are about to take the plunge, then good luck to you. If you need any further motivation, remember that the money you save on food or having to buy a new wardrobe, can be spent on some other indulgence. Trading cards, notebook, pens or Ketamine.
NB With regard to the meaning of this post’s title, “Who ate all the pies” is a famous British football terrace chant, used to taunt overweight players or opposing fans (Nobody said UK football was politically correct). The standard lyrics of the chant are as follows:
“Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies? You fat bastard, You fat bastard, You ate all the pies!”
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.