MMO Tropes: Running All the Way
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. I was in London recently, idly walking to the Natural History Museum in South Kensington, when a group of tourists started running for no discernable reason. Someone I was with asked “ I wonder why they’re running” and I replied “perhaps they think they’re in an MMO”. The quips fell on deaf ears but that is a cross I often have to bear. This anecdote highlights one of the points of this post. Namely, why do our avatars in the MMORPG genre run by default? I would also like to discuss the manner in which MMOs address the issue of travel around an ever expanding virtual world. Is fast travel lazy? Our mounts a boon or a bane?
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. I was in London recently, idly walking to the Natural History Museum in South Kensington, when a group of tourists started running for no discernable reason. Someone I was with asked “ I wonder why they’re running” and I replied “perhaps they think they’re in an MMO”. The quips fell on deaf ears but that is a cross I often have to bear. This anecdote highlights one of the points of this post. Namely, why do our avatars in the MMORPG genre run by default? I would also like to discuss the manner in which MMOs address the issue of travel around an ever expanding virtual world. Is fast travel lazy? Our mounts a boon or a bane?
Although MMOs are often proud of the size and scale of the virtual world’s they’ve created, getting around is time consuming and at times a chore. Hence, running in an MMO is usually the most expedient way of travelling. It’s not mandatory though, which is why you will sometimes see role players walking everywhere for realism. The trade off is that it takes longer and you look like a fool doing it. Each to their own. When you’re new to a game, discovering and exploring a major quest hub, such as Minas Tirith in The Lord of the Rings Online, is a source of enjoyment. However, roll on a few weeks and it soon becomes a nuisance that has to be managed and endured. Mercifully, most MMOs have various means of fast travel, via waypoints, shrines, or stables. This is done for convenience, although some will argue it comes at the expense of immersion.
As many MMOs are fantasy based, animal or beast themed mounts can provide a suitable, lore friendly means to travel around. Although fast travel from point to point is convenient, riding around and exploring the immediate environment can be a major point of appeal for an MMO. LOTRO does this very well as Standing Stone Games’ virtual Middle-earth is one of the biggest gaming maps available. The world is diverse and richly designed and there are many iconic places to discover. The Elder Scrolls Online similarly offers a varied and immersive open world to explore. Cryptic’s Star Trek Online handles the vastness of the galaxy well. Sector Space is big and takes a degree of time to traverse. This situation does improve once you hit the level cap and can access Quantum Slipstream drive which allows for much faster short bursts of speed. Star Wars: The Old Republic has a far more practical point to point, hyperspace travel system but I never liked the way it cost you money for fuel.
Another thing to consider about running in MMOs is that it does have some tactical applications beyond its functional use. For example, depending upon “aggro mechanics” it is possible in some games to run past or even through a group of mobs without alerting them. Even if you do trigger enemies, in many MMOs you can outrun them although such things do come with an element of risk. For example, in LOTRO it is entirely possible to run through Moria (with an alt at the same level of the content) from the West to East gates and survive, as long as you know the most expedient route. Then there are the practical benefits of a strategic withdrawal. Remember, “he who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day”. Temporary running buffs can also be useful when “retreating to victory”.
Single player games seem to handle travel differently and certainly have some advantages. I envy the fact that a game like Grand Theft Auto V or Red Dead Redemption 2 provide the players with access to public transport. I especially like riding the train between towns in RDR2 as it is very restful and highlights for a few minutes the detail of the open world. Similarly, using the L Train in GTA V adds to the illusion of a living city. It would be nice to see something like that in the MMOs genre. I also liked the way in LA Noire, if you don’t want to drive the car yourself from case to case, you simply use the passenger door and your NPC companion would be the designated driver. All goes to show that you can approach the matter of getting from A to B with a degree of creativity, rather than just running all the way.
In massively multiplayer online games (MMOs), alts (short for alternate characters), are new characters created by a player in addition to their primary character (often called the “main”). Alts are often encouraged by developers as a means to keep players engaged with their game(s). Sometimes an MMO will actively reward the creation of alts either with access to exclusive content, or with additional skills or items previously unlocked by primary characters. As the myth that an MMO really begins at endgame still persists in gaming culture, some games sell boosts that will instantly raise the level of an alt to that of the current level cap. Creating alts is such a key aspect of the MMO genre, that some games will sell additional character slots, so that players can create further alts beyond the default amount allowed. There are many reasons why players create alts. Let us consider some.
If you’ve ever played an MMORPG, then you have more than likely encountered this problem. Especially if you start playing a game that has been long established. You diligently create your character and spend time and effort customising them to suit your needs. All you’ve got to do next is choose a name, so you type in a pithy and droll title only to find that it has already been taken. So you quickly come up with another and that too is rejected. Next you try the same name but with some “alternative” spelling but the game resolutely tells you that even that permutation is already in use. I have found that even with a list of names that I’ve drawn up prior to playing the game, it can still take anything from 5 to 30 minutes to find one that is available. Naturally, this process is very frustrating, which is hardly the ideal user experience for a new player.
It would appear that one of the reasons potential new players avoid the MMORPG genre is due to the perception that they are all time sinks. I wouldn’t argue against this assumption because the reality is that it’s true. However any game that you enjoy, irrespective of genre, can become a time sink. That being said, the main difference between other genres and MMOs is as follows. A new player can jump straight into a FPS game and within minutes enjoy some multiplayer action, whereas in an MMO, a new player has to play through a tutorial and several hours of a starter zone before they start making headway in the game. This distinction does not have to be a deal breaker. An FPS can provide a quick fix of gaming and as such fulfils a need. MMORPGs can provide long term entertainment which scratches an ongoing gaming itch. Both are valid ways to enjoy gaming.
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. One of the integral game mechanics of the MMORPG genre is the acquisition of loot. As you travel your virtual world of choice, committing random murder against all forms of flora and fauna, you acquire miscellaneous items by looting the corpses of the slain or stealing from houses and NPCs. Oh it’s a glamorous genre, the MMORPG. These random items can be crafting resources such as hides or ore. They may be food items or healing potions that provide some kind of statistical buff. If you’re fortunate, they may be gear that corresponds with your class or specific build, providing a much needed upgrade. Loot may also be the in-game currency, thus boosting your respective wealth. As you can see, loot comes in all shapes and sizes but how important is it?
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. Dying in an Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game is a clear and unambiguous fail state. A means by which to teach the player that they’re doing something wrong and that they need to rethink their strategy. IE Don’t mess with the foul Marmydons unless you have back up and are wielding the Sword of Kagnazax. Dying is a reminder to not get overconfident and maintain situational awareness. It teaches us to ensure you have the right gear and consumables, to be au fait with the mechanics of any fight you’re about to get into and that winning is not a given. Any enterprise that offers a tangible reward will come with potential risks and consequences. If you’re playing in a group then death provides a timely reminder not to rely on Colin.
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. I was in London recently, idly walking to the Natural History Museum in South Kensington, when a group of tourists started running for no discernable reason. Someone I was with asked “ I wonder why they’re running” and I replied “perhaps they think they’re in an MMO”. The quips fell on deaf ears but that is a cross I often have to bear. This anecdote highlights one of the points of this post. Namely, why do our avatars in the MMORPG genre run by default? I would also like to discuss the manner in which MMOs address the issue of travel around an ever expanding virtual world. Is fast travel lazy? Our mounts a boon or a bane?
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. Many MMORPGs are set in open worlds that are designed to mimic a real and living reality. Beautiful fantasy or science fiction themed environments, rich with diverse fauna and flora. Settlements are filled with people that go about their daily routine. There is often a day and night cycle and changing weather. All of which is intended to make the game world feel alive. Furthermore, these open worlds become a source of content of their own. Not only do they provide the environment for the various quests and missions that players undertake but a source of exploration and discovery. Something that many players value more than other types of game content.
“The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”.
The MMORPG genre is a curious subset of video games. Not only is it predicated on violence against the individual, institutions and “others”, as so many video games are but also species-specific genocide and general mass extinction of fauna and flora. It is easy to understand how this gaming specific trope came about. Early MMOs often had very little or no narrative driven quests and players simply levelled their characters by gaining XP from any sort of combat. Be that against other players, mobs or general in-game wildlife. What is far more perplexing is why such an arbitrary mechanic still persists in the modern MMO. Is it simply due to “laziness” and the fact that it’s easy to implement and rely upon? Or is there more to it than that?
If I may quote myself “The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post”. This time round, I would like to discuss the following. The Hero, the Chosen One, the Übermensch. As that is the role that we so often are assigned in this genre. Developers broadly assume that most players want a power fantasy and precious little else is on offer. Hence we find ourselves in a story in which we are destined to do great deeds in a virtual world, whether we wish to or not. I can see the superficial appeal of such a conceit. Most of us are not such overachievers in real life. So a game in which we get to do stuff to the world, instead of the world doing stuff to us has an inherent allure. But like most MMO tropes, unless it is implemented with some panache and creativity, it quickly becomes a tiresome cliche.
I have played more than “a few” MMORPGs over the years. It’s an enjoyable (and accessible) genre of video games. But like any other type of game, MMOs have a fairly standard formula based on a handful of game mechanics. There is levelling, gaining experience and the acquisition of skills and points. Gear such as armour, jewellery and weapons come and go as you progress through the game. Then there’s crafting, trading and gaining “gold”. Another key aspect is the social dynamic. Often there’s content specifically designed for groups to complete. But this homogeneity also extends beyond the systems that underpin the games. The MMO genre is rife with its own set of tropes; recurring themes and motifs that have become established and ubiquitous. All of which are ideal material for a hastily produced, lazily conceived, recurring blog post.
British Slang Words and Phrases
After receiving critical acclaim in the UK, the 1980 gangster film The Long Good Friday was revised to make the dialogue more accessible to American audiences. A few lines of dialogue were re-recorded to tone down the East End slang. A glossary of terms was also added at the start of the film, including such phrases as “manor” (precinct, area, patch, turf) and “ponce” (pimp or fool). Conversely, this has seldom happened with regard to American TV shows and films exported around the world, due to the ubiquitous nature of US pop culture. Nowadays, you would think the internet would have bridged this linguistic divide but it would appear not. I still see a lot of YouTube videos explaining British slang and traditional phrases. Never being one to pass up the opportunity to jump on a passing bandwagon, I thought I’d tackle 15 British slang words and phrases for your edification and the sake of an easy blog post.
After receiving critical acclaim in the UK, the 1980 gangster film The Long Good Friday was revised to make the dialogue more accessible to American audiences. A few lines of dialogue were re-recorded to tone down the East End slang. A glossary of terms was also added at the start of the film, including such phrases as “manor” (precinct, area, patch, turf) and “ponce” (pimp or fool). Conversely, this has seldom happened with regard to American TV shows and films exported around the world, due to the ubiquitous nature of US pop culture. Nowadays, you would think the internet would have bridged this linguistic divide but it would appear not. I still see a lot of YouTube videos explaining British slang and traditional phrases. Never being one to pass up the opportunity to jump on a passing bandwagon, I thought I’d tackle 15 British slang words and phrases for your edification and the sake of an easy blog post.
A Few Sandwiches Short of a Picnic: A lighthearted but ultimately pejorative term for someone who may be below average intelligence or who has a bonafide mental health issue. “You must forgive Colin, he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic”.
Anorak: An anorak is a lightweight, waterproof jacket with a hood. The kind you may take if you go hiking. In the UK it is often associated with geeks, nerds or those with niche market interests. Hence “anorak” is used as a collective term for such individuals. Especially if there is any sort of obsession over details or data. “Colin is a bit of an anorak. He spots trains”.
Blag: To obtain something, be it an object or service, by persuasion, craftiness or guile. “Colin’s brother is a booking agent so we managed to blag some free tickets”. Blag can also mean to steal. “Colin got arrested. He blagged the local post office”.
Bog standard: Basic, entry level, ordinary. “Colin’s phone is a bog standard model”.
Butchers: An example of traditional Cockney rhyming slang. Butcher’s hook = Look. “Colin, go outside and have a butchers and see if the coast is clear”. The phrase is comparable to “look-see”.
Cheeky: As well as its formal definition, cheeky can mean to do something in an unplanned and somewhat self-indulgent fashion. “On the way back from the sales meeting, Colin and I stopped off for a cheeky pint”.
Chugger: A contraction of “charity mugger”. IE someone who represents a charity and engages in conversation with you in a public place, to try and convince you to sign up to some sort of monthly recurring donations. “Me and Colin got rushed by a chugger outside the kebab shop”. These bastards even knock on your front door, in the UK.
Doddle: An undertaking that you initially thought would be complex, difficult or arduous that subsequently proves to be easy and simple. “I thought it was going to be hard getting rid of Colin’s body, but we just threw it in the lake. It was a doddle”.
Dog's Dinner: A location, situation or undertaking that is either messy, chaotic, or poorly planned ending in disaster. “Colin’s desk is a total dog’s dinner”. Alternatively “Colin totally messed up the hotel booking, the menu and the evening’s entertainment. The convention was a total dog’s dinner”.
Gutted: To be bitterly disappointed or upset about something. “Colin was gutted that his favourite Kabaddi team had lost the regional final”.
Minging: Foul smelling. It can also mean that someone is not very attractive. “Colin’s kitchen was minging after he had cooked kippers for breakfast”. Alternatively “Who’s that with Colin? They’re minging”.
Pear Shaped: A plan or situation has gone awry. “It’s all gone pear-shaped. Colin has served red wine with the fish and we haven’t got enough cake forks”.
Shirty: To get annoyed, bellicose or bombastic with someone or something. “Colin got shirty with the Police Officer when he asked him why he was naked”.
Throw Your Toys Out of the Pram: To lose your temper. This can range from a childish tantrum to finally losing your cool after constant provocation. It is a verbal metaphor of a toddler throwing its toys out of a stroller when it can’t get its own way. “I borrowed Colin’s pen to get wax out of my ear. When he found out he really threw his toys out of the pram”.
Wind Up: To tease, goad or provoke someone. Usually just for fun. “We spent the morning winding Colin up until he tried to stab us”.
I hope this has proved informative and useful. Coming up in the next instalment of British Slang Words and Phrases, I will explain the significance and problems associated with thinking you’re “Jake the Peanut”. I’ll also explore exactly what is involved in getting “Leo Sayer’d”. We will also stray North of the border to clarify the differences between a “Wee Stooshie” and a “Wee Rammie”. Feel free to leave any comments below, especially if you have your own regional variation of any of the terms and phrases featured in this post. Or you wish to try and use any of them in a sentence of your own contrivance. Until next time, TTFN.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
One of the things I enjoy most about having my own blog is the fact I can write about the mundane and the trivial. Mainly because so much of life falls into this category. Life defining events are all fine and dandy and certainly lend themselves to philosophical musings that make fine blog posts. However, you can get just as much mileage out of those everyday things in life with less gravitas, that we all do. Such as buying new clothes, taking out the recycling and going to buy groceries. I have written about all of these in the past. However, today I wish to broach a subject that both fascinates me but also raises my blood pressure. I believe it to be a social marker and a clear indication of an individual’s personal psychology. Yes, I’m talking about packing your groceries at the supermarket and the various rituals and social etiquette associated with it.
“Managed decline” is a phrase that refers to the processes associated with the end of a specific lifecycle, with the goal of minimizing costs or other forms of loss. The concept originated in business where it referred to the management of companies and industries. More recently it is used in wider contexts. The concept gained prominence with regard to urban policy, particularly in the UK during the eighties when several major cities suffered economic and political collapse. Of late, the term has been applied to the UK, encompassing a systematic weakening of the economy, social structures, and cultural values, as well as its global political and diplomatic force. In each case, managed decline involves making strategic choices about resource allocation and accepting the consequences of those decisions. It is a complex issue with ethical and practical considerations, often sparking debate about the best way to address decline and reverse the process.
Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London
Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London is a step-free art trail and tourist attraction featuring the iconic animated character Morph. It is hosted by charitable organisation Whizz-Kidz, global event producers Wild in Art and Aardman. The trail features 56 super-sized sculptures of the much-loved children’s TV character, which are set among various iconic London landmarks including St Pauls, Tate Modern, Tower of London, Shakespeare’s Globe and Borough Market. It is a free public art trail and tourist attraction, designed by a variety of artists to excite and inspire people of all ages, whilst increasing public awareness about the need for young wheelchair users to be mobile, enabled and included in society. Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London runs from June 19th until August 20th 2023.
Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London is a step-free art trail and tourist attraction featuring the iconic animated character Morph. It is hosted by charitable organisation Whizz-Kidz, global event producers Wild in Art and Aardman. The trail features 56 super-sized sculptures of the much-loved children’s TV character, which are set among various iconic London landmarks including St Pauls, Tate Modern, Tower of London, Shakespeare’s Globe and Borough Market. It is a free public art trail and tourist attraction, designed by a variety of artists to excite and inspire people of all ages, whilst increasing public awareness about the need for young wheelchair users to be mobile, enabled and included in society. Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London runs from June 19th until August 20th 2023.
Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London provides the perfect opportunity to take a leisurely stroll around the capital, take in the sights and see if you can find all 56 of the Morph sculptures. Which is exactly what me and some friends did today.The weather was mainly sunny with a couple of showers but we managed to avoid these by stopping for breakfast at The Pommelers Rest. We managed to track down 37 Morphs between London Bridge and St. Paul’s Cathedral. Because the London Tourist season has begun, it was busy along The Queen’s Walk, Tower Bridge and The Tower of London. However, the crowds were amiable so taking photos wasn’t a problem. By the time we got to Leadenhall Market and the Lloyds building, the crowds of tourists were gone. It was quite tranquil winding through some of the alleys and passages around London’s financial district.
Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London not only provides the Pokémon-esque pleasure of collecting all the various Morph sculptures, but you also get to see a lot of London’s famous landmarks (as well as some of its not so well known points of interest). Tourists tend not to visit the business heart of London. Yet it is filled with imposing buildings, plazas and quite a lot of artwork. Another standout feature of the day was the camaraderie among those who were also following the trail. We bumped into several people with printed maps or using the phone app to find the various sculptures. Pleasantries were exchanged and often you’d tip one another off about statues that were in the area. Especially the few that were located in shop windows. It was a welcome change to see Londoners actually talking to each other.
We spent over four hours walking around London before we withdrew to The Ship and Shovell for rest and a much deserved pint. Overall, it was a most enjoyable day having walked about 9 miles. I’d certainly recommend Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London for those in position to walk the trail. The sculptures are most enjoyable and each one is unique, representing a specific theme or aspect of London life. The trail offers an opportunity to see a lot of London’s best locations and is a great way to acquaint yourself with the UK’s capital. You can find as many sculptures as you like but if you’re a completionist, there is an app available with a map with all the various locations marked. And let us not forget the underlying message from this undertaking, which is about making the country more wheelchair friendly and accessible to all.
Today I visited the Inside Aardman: Wallace & Gromit and Friends exhibition at the Young V&A Museum at Bethnal Green. The exhibition which celebrates 50 years of Aardman Animations, provides visitors with a unique, behind the scenes view of the art of stop-motion animation. It also explores how Aardman’s iconic characters and worlds are designed, crafted and brought to life. From the initial concept artwork to the final visual effects, this event demonstrates the methods and techniques employed by Aardman. The exhibition features early scripts, sketch artists initial concept art, models, sets and numerous famous puppets. Furthermore this event is firmly pitched at children and families, with a wealth of interactive activities demonstrating the various techniques on display. The curators of the exhibition have also made it clear that they wish to encourage future generation to consider a career in the creative arts.
The Imperial War Museum serves as a national museum for Britain. Its main location is in London, complemented by five additional branches across England. Established in 1917 as the Imperial War Museum, its original purpose was to document the civil and military efforts and sacrifices made by the United Kingdom and its Empire during the First World War. Over time, the museum’s scope has broadened to encompass all conflicts involving British or Commonwealth forces since 1914. As of 2012, the museum’s mission is to provide and encourage the study and understanding of the history of modern warfare as well as the “wartime experience”. The IWM as it is now known has its headquarters and primary site is located at Southwark in Central London. The museum is funded by government grants, charitable donations and revenue generated through commercial activity such as retailing, licensing and publishing. General admission is free to IWM London.
Castle Farm is a family business located near the village of Shoreham in West Kent. The Alexander Family have been farming in the Darenth Valley since 1892 when James Alexander transported 17 milking cows from Ayrshire in Scotland and took up residence in this south-eastern part of England. Castle Farm is a busy, working farm comprising of 1,100 acres. It produces such crops as wheat, barley, rapeseed, hops, apples, pumpkins and lavender. It is also home to a grass-fed herd of beef cattle. However, in recent years it has become well know internationally for its lavender crop. Castle Farm began its lavender enterprise in 1998, producing the essential oils associated with the flower. It is now the largest lavender farm in the UK, growing over 110 acres of the flower. Furthermore, it has become quite a tourist attraction with the farm staff running tours during Summer and the height of lavender season.
Riverhill Himalayan Gardens are set in the grounds of Riverhill House, a Grade II listed Queen Anne manor house located on the southern edge of Sevenoaks in Kent, England. Riverhill is well known for its stunning and historic gardens as well as its sweeping vistas over the Weald of Kent. The estate has been the residence of the Rogers family since 1840 who currently operate the gardens as a tourist attraction, along with the house and associated facilities as a wedding venue. Visitors can enjoy a walled garden, rose walk and maze as well as other attractions. There is also an excellent trail around the grounds culminating in a view from the top of the hill over the estate. Riverhill Himalayan Gardens, as a supporter of the Surrey Sculpture Society, regularly showcases a selection of sculptures and art pieces throughout its grounds. All are available for purchase if you have deep pockets.
The Hunterian Museum is a museum of anatomical specimens in London, located in the prestigious building of the Royal College of Surgeons of England. The museum is made up primarily of a collection from the 18th century Scottish surgeon John Hunter. Over the years it has since been subsequently supplemented by Odontological material curated by A. E. W. Miles and various natural history exhibits from Richard Owen. In May 2023, the Hunterian Museum reopened following a five-year redevelopment of the Royal College of Surgeons of England’s headquarters at Lincoln’s Inn Fields. The £4.6 million museum project features the exhibition of more than 2,000 anatomical specimens from Hunter’s original collection. In addition to these there are instruments, equipment, models, paintings, and archival materials that document the evolution of surgery from ancient eras to contemporary robot-assisted procedures. The Museum boasts the largest public display of human anatomy in England.
The Crystal Palace Dinosaurs are a collection of sculptures depicting dinosaurs and other extinct species located in Crystal Palace Park, in the London borough of Bromley. These sculptures were originally commissioned in 1852 for display at the Crystal Palace following its relocation from the Great Exhibition held in Hyde Park. They were revealed to the public in 1854 and are the first speculative dinosaur sculptures ever created. Although the models are now considered inaccurate by contemporary standards, they were designed and crafted by Benjamin Waterhouse Hawkins under the scientific guidance of Sir Richard Owen, reflecting the prevailing scientific understanding of the time. The sculptures were designated as Grade II listed buildings in 1973 and underwent extensive restoration in 2002. In 2007 they were elevated to Grade I listed status. As of spring 2026 the dinosaurs are again being renovated as part of a £5 million regeneration of the park.
The benefits of international travel are numerous. These include stress relief, mental health benefits and a chance to escape the drudgery of work. Then there are the cultural aspects that you can immerse yourself in. Going abroad also allows you to learn new language skills as you awkwardly ask for directions. International travel is a chance to make lasting memories and it often gives the traveller a greater appreciation of their own home. At the very least the beer is always better abroad and that is the very definition of “broadening your horizons”. Yet despite all these positive points, there is one unavoidable hassle when comes with travelling abroad. The fact that the country or countries that you’re visiting will invariably use a different electrical plug and socket standard. In an age where a lot of the stuff you bring along with you on holiday needs charging, this can be a very stressful problem to solve.
I thoroughly enjoyed our holiday in Croatia last year and it did much to restore my confidence in travelling. Previously my views on visiting other countries had been greatly influenced by the films Raid on Entebbe and Midnight Express. As January was such a bleak month here in the UK, Mrs P and I decided we couldn’t wait until summer for another holiday and so decided to book something for the end of March. So we visited our local Travel Agents and decided upon a river cruise. We’ve been interested in these since we saw a travel show with Susan Calman. River cruises are a horse of a different colour, compared to sea cruises. They’re a great way to visit cities of note, often bringing you right into the heart of them. River cruise ships are a lot smaller with less passengers than ocean faring vessels. They also attract quite different travellers. Let it suffice to say that a sea cruise doesn’t offer the cultural experience that I am looking for.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
There is no shortage of interesting and good quality museums in London. In many respects tourists and visitors are spoilt for choice. More often than not, it is the most well known institutions such as the British Museum or Victoria and Albert Museum that gain the most attention. However, there are many hidden gems to discover if you take the time to look further. A prime example being The British Optical Association Museum which I had the pleasure of visiting today. The museum’s function is to promote the optometry profession and raise public awareness of its past and ongoing role within society. The museum has a well conserved collection of exhibits and provides a venue for presentations, learning and research services. There is also an excellent tour hosted by museum curator Neil Handley (PhD, AMA, FRSA) in which he gives a concise, interesting and at times a witty overview of the history of optometry in the UK and its current role.
The artillery battery at Capel-le-Ferne was built between 1941 and 1942, following the fall of France, on the orders of Winston Churchill. Located between Dover and Folkestone, the battery consisted of three 8-inch high-performance guns, provided by the Royal Navy. The battery was intended to provide anti-shipping defence in the English Channel. The site was manned by men of the 520 Coast Regiment Royal Artillery. Over the course of World War II, the battery expanded in size, eventually encompassing multiple Nissen huts, several roads and 19 military buildings. Anti aircraft defence was provided by two 40mm Bofors guns. Over the course of the war, the Capel Battery engaged enemy shipping on four separate occasions and also took part in fifteen practice shoots. In 1944, due to the decreased threat, the battery was placed in “care and maintenance”. The guns were removed in 1952 and the building demolished in the early 1980s
There are an estimated 2,500 museums in the UK. This number has grown significantly over time, more than tripling between 1960 and 2017. While it is laudable that so many of these institutions exist, they do not all receive equal interest or publicity. Some museums dominate in their respective fields and drown out others that have a similar theme. With this in mind, I was unaware of the Kent Battle of Britain Museum until a friend recently brought it to my attention. After yesterday’s visit my initial thoughts are what a treasure trove it is. According to the museum’s website it is the world’s largest Battle of Britain collection of memorabilia. This includes planes, uniforms, weapons and related artefacts from over 700 crashed aircraft. Furthermore, the museum tells the story of this battle without bias, choosing to highlight both the historical and the human aspects of the conflict. It is often very poignant.
Stonehenge is so much more than just a neolithic, historical structure of note. It is of great spiritual importance to many, representing ceremonial practices and ancient worship. It is also seen as a conduit to a wider connection to the cosmos. It is after all a celestial calendar, according to one of the theories regarding its purpose. It also has a strong significance in pop culture. Hence, due to its history, symbolism, religious connotations and overall sense of mystery it is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and a globally recognised symbol of ancient Britain. As such, it has always been somewhere that I have wished to visit. Today, as we were relatively nearby in Ringwood and the weather was pleasant, Mrs P and I decided to go to Salisbury and see this iconic structure for ourselves.
I enjoy visiting the coast. I always have. I find the sight and sounds of the sea very calming and thought provoking. There is something about seeing the ocean stretch out to the horizon and its implied enormity, that gives you a sense of perspective. The UK is a seafaring nation and therefore it is an integral part of our history and national identity. Hence a strong nautical theme and a sense of its importance has bled through into our popular culture. It is therefore quite common for people to have a positive attitude towards the sea and its associated leisure activities. I like to visit the coast at various times of the year and walk along the beach, just listening to the waves, lost in my own thoughts. This is not a hard thing to do in the UK, as no one lives further than 70 miles (113 kilometers) from the coast.
Knole is a country house in England and a former archbishop’s palace that is currently owned by the National Trust. It is located within Knole Park, a 1,000-acre (400-hectare) estate that lies to the south-east of Sevenoaks in west Kent. The existing structure of the house dates back to the mid-15th century, although there were significant expansions in the 16th and particularly in the early 17th centuries. Its Grade I listing signifies its combination of late-medieval to Stuart architectural styles. This is especially evident in its central façade and state rooms. In 2019, a comprehensive conservation initiative titled “Inspired by Knole” was completed to restore and enhance the buildings’ structures. This was beneficial to the preservation of its significant collections. The adjacent deer park has also endured since 1600.
Mrs P and I travelled to Croatia on Friday 13th June for our summer holiday. We spent one week in Makarska, which is located on the Dalmatian coast. My last international holiday was to Malta in 2004. Since then we have done a lot of travelling in the UK and Mrs P has vacationed abroad with other family members. However, she stated last September that she wanted to go “somewhere warm” for our next holiday. So this trip was booked and has been “something to look forward to”, or a source of stress slowly inching closer, depending upon your perspective. In many respects this holiday has been a big deal for me. I don’t enjoy travelling at all with all its accompanying logistical, bureaucratic and “people” issues. However, I have no problem with being elsewhere. I eagerly await teleportation technology to become commonplace. Once I arrived at our hotel, I quickly switched to holiday mode and I am happy to confirm that I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Emmetts Garden is an Edwardian estate situated on Ide Hill, close to Sevenoaks in Kent, UK. After a long and interesting history it is currently under the stewardship of the National Trust. Originally open farmland, the existing house was constructed in1860. The term “emmett” is a local dialect for ant, referencing the large anthills that populated the area until the 1950s. In 1890, the estate was acquired by Frederic Lubbock, a banker with a keen interest in horticulture. His elder brother, John Lubbock, 1st Baron Avebury, was a renowned authority on ants, which may have influenced Frederic's decision to purchase the estate. Today Emmetts Garden is open to the public and features several “hortus conclusus” (walled gardens) and a hillside trail that is famous for its Bluebells in the spring.
Damerham is a quaint rural village and civil parish located in the New Forest district of Hampshire, England. It is close to the market town of Fordingbridge. Damerham is distinguished by significant Neolithic and Bronze Age burial mounds. Historically, it was home to an Anglo-Saxon religious community and was referenced in the will of Alfred the Great, as it was at that time part of the royal estate. At the time of the Domesday Book in 1086, Damerham was recognized as a prominent settlement under the ownership of Glastonbury Abbey. It was mainly farms and agrarian small holdings. Today, the village still features a riverside mill and the church of Saint George date’s back to the Norman period. There is a church hall that hosts numerous local, seasonal events.
Bodiam Castle is a 14th-century moated castle located near Robertsbridge in East Sussex, England. It was built in 1385 by Sir Edward Dalyngrigge, a former knight of King Edward III. The castle’s primary purpose was to defend the local area against possible French invasion during the Hundred Years' War. Bodiam Castle has a quadrangular design and does not have a keep. All the various chambers and rooms were built adjacent to the outer defensive walls. The four corners and main entrance have towers, all of which feature crenellations. A substantial moat surrounds the castle, which served as a home for the Dalyngrigge family, as well as a seat of power to the manor of Bodiam. The castle remained within the Dalyngrigge family until the line became extinct. It remained a place of strategic importance during the War of the Roses and the English Civil War. It is currently owned and maintained by The National Trust.
Today I went on an impromptu visit to Brompton Cemetery in West London. Established in 1837, the West of London and Westminster Cemetery (as it was originally known) is a private cemetery initially created as a business venture to capitalise upon the shortage of cemeteries within London. It also sought to cater to the prevailing culture of opulent Victorian funeral rites. However, after proving non profitable, the cemetery was bought by the UK government. It was subsequently incorporated into Crown Property and managed by The Royal Parks. It is one of Britain’s oldest and most distinguished garden cemeteries. There are currently 35,000 monuments, ranging from simple headstones to impressive mausolea. It is home to more than 205,000 resting places. The cemetery is also a haven for flora and fauna, providing a substantial semi rural environment amid urban central London.
Christmas Tree Farm is a petting zoo, outside the village of Downe in the county of Kent. Despite its rural setting, it is actually only 15 miles from London, making it an ideal visit, as part of a day. The farm is home to a wide selection of domestic farm animals (and a few more exotic ones), all of which can be fed, stroked and lavished with attention by visitors. During the winter months, Christmas Tree Farm hosts Santa’s Grotto and as the name suggests is the place to find the perfect Christmas tree for your home. Entry prices are very reasonable, costing £6 per adult and £4 for children aged between 2 and 16 years old. Buckets of animal feed of varying size are also available for a small fee. There is a leisurely trail around the farm where the various animals are housed in pens and out buildings. There is also a Tea Garden where refreshments are available.
In 1939 legislation was passed in the UK so that all employees had one week’s annual paid holiday per year. By the 1950s this had become two weeks and by the 1980s most people had at least 4 weeks of annual holiday. On top of this paid leave allocation, the UK currently has 8 bank holidays which provides further time off for employees. This culture of increasing amounts of annual leave also broadly coincided with air travel becoming more accessible. The first UK passenger jet service began in 1952. However, its cost excluded most people. However, as larger airliners with increased range became available, cheaper foreign holidays became more and more economically viable. European holidays became a reality in the 1960s and 1970s. By the 1980s long-distance holidays to other continents became ubiquitous and the package holiday became king. It is also worth noting that the Channel Tunnel opened in 1994, making car travel from Britain to Europe easier and more popular.
Today I had the pleasure of visiting the Whitstable Museum (or to give its full name Whitstable Community Museum and Gallery). This is a fine example of a local heritage centre that curates and displays artefacts and records that reflect the history and culture of the surrounding area. The museum located in Whitstable, Kent, is home to one of the world's oldest steam engines, as well as historical diving equipment that was developed locally. The history of the local oyster trade which has been an integral part of the community for centuries is also a key feature. Established in 1985, the museum was reopened in 2015 following a major refurbishment. There is also an art gallery featuring the paintings by local artists and artworks on loan from an international network of galleries.
Eltham Palace, located in South East London, was the childhood home of King Henry VIII in 1499. It was later used as a royal nursery for the infant Princess Elizabeth, born on 7th September 1533. It sports sumptuous grounds and ornamental gardens and was famous for its game hunting during the Tudor and Elizabethan periods. In the 1930s’ the property was owned by the Courtauld family, who built a sumptuous Art Deco style mansion and redeveloped the grounds. Today the entire property is owned and managed by English Heritage who have extensively restored much of the estate. It is therefore very fitting that this illustrious venue annually plays host to the Legendary Medieval Joust, during the summer months. Two days of historical pageantry, re-enactments and events for the entire family to enjoy. I last attended in 2015, so it was a welcome pleasure to return again yesterday.
Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London is a step-free art trail and tourist attraction featuring the iconic animated character Morph. It is hosted by charitable organisation Whizz-Kidz, global event producers Wild in Art and Aardman. The trail features 56 super-sized sculptures of the much-loved children’s TV character, which are set among various iconic London landmarks including St Pauls, Tate Modern, Tower of London, Shakespeare’s Globe and Borough Market. It is a free public art trail and tourist attraction, designed by a variety of artists to excite and inspire people of all ages, whilst increasing public awareness about the need for young wheelchair users to be mobile, enabled and included in society. Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London runs from June 19th until August 20th 2023.
Regardless of whether you deem the IFS Cloud Cable Car a white elephant, a political folly or just a mistake in terms of tourism, it cannot be denied that the view it provides over South East London is impressive. At a height of 90 metres (300 feet), on a bright and sunny day you can see from City Airport to Canary Wharf. Located at Greenwich Peninsula, the IFS Cloud Cable Car (as it is now called) opened in June 2012. It was initially promoted as a viable form of public transport across the Thames, linking North Greenwich and Royal Victoria stations. In October 2012, nearly 100,000 journeys were made. However, after the London Olympics, passenger rates fell and since then IFS Cloud Cable Car has become more of a tourist attraction, rather than an integral means of commuting.
To my surprise I found myself out and about today undertaking another day trip. This time we headed back to the sea and visited Whitstable, a town on the north coast of Kent adjoining the Greater Thames Estuary. It’s 5 miles (8 kilometres) north of Canterbury and 2 miles (3 kilometres) west of Herne Bay. The town was originally recorded in the Domesday Book of 1086, under the name Witenestaple, meaning "the meeting place of the white post", a reference to a local landmark. By the late middle ages Whitstable had become a centre of Thames Estuary fishing, specifically for oysters. Today, the main activities at the harbour are fishing and processing, cargo handling and boat maintenance. The town has shingle/sandy beaches adjacent to the harbour, where swimming and water sports are popular. Whitstable Castle is situated on the border of Whitstable and off the coast is Kentish Flats offshore wind farm, consisting of 30 wind turbines.
Royal Tunbridge Wells is a town in the county of Kent, 30 miles (50 kilometres) southeast of central London. It is situated on the border with East Sussex on the northern edge of the High Weald. The local sandstone geology is synonymous with a rugged landscape due to erosion and weathering. The town itself was a spa during the Restoration and became a very fashionable resort in the middle of the 18th century. Socialites such as Beau Nash helped make the resort popular when the Pantiles and its chalybeate spring, began attracting visitors who came to “take the waters”. Despite the decline in spa towns after sea bathing grew in popularity, Royal Tunbridge Wells has remained a tourist resort. Today, much of the area's income is generated by tourism. The town has an equitable temperate maritime climate.
Gossip and Schadenfreude: A National Pastime
If you are in a British pub and someone drops a pint or better still an entire tray of drinks, then most people within the immediate vicinity will cheer. A few years ago I was in a pub near London ComicCon and some wag shouted “Fus Ro Dah”. But I digress. The thing is, in these situations no one will go to help. Nope, we’re too busy laughing. Laughing at someone else's misery, embarrassment and inconvenience. Does this say something about British culture and our national psychology? We seem to like other people’s failures. There has always been a fascination with celebrity culture, especially with the rise and fall of such individuals but it seems to have become more unpleasant of late. Do we revel too much in other people’s misery due to some major shift in our national psyche? Is the combative and aggressive nature of contemporary political discourse to blame?
If you are in a British pub and someone drops a pint or better still an entire tray of drinks, then most people within the immediate vicinity will cheer. A few years ago I was in a pub near London ComicCon and some wag shouted “Fus Ro Dah”. But I digress. The thing is, in these situations no one will go to help. Nope, we’re too busy laughing. Laughing at someone else's misery, embarrassment and inconvenience. Does this say something about British culture and our national psychology? We seem to like other people’s failures. There has always been a fascination with celebrity culture, especially with the rise and fall of such individuals but it seems to have become more unpleasant of late. Do we revel too much in other people’s misery due to some major shift in our national psyche? Is the combative and aggressive nature of contemporary political discourse to blame?
The recent debacle regarding BBC News presenter Huw Edwards is in many ways a microcosm of this malady. The Sun, a questionable tabloid with a history of rabble rousing and lying, claimed it had evidence of a “household name” indulging in criminal behaviour with a minor by soliciting explicit pictures. The BBC, the UK public funded broadcaster which is currently suffering from an identity crisis after making several high profile mistakes, then made matters worse by failing to address the claims promptly. Huw Edwards is very much the public face of the BBC, having been the main news anchor for so many era-defining news stories. The public relish for this story when it broke, was palpable. I realise that people like gossip but there was more to this than mere tittle-tattle. Even I wanted to know who the “household name” was before it was finally announced. It would appear that someone's ruin is morbidly enthralling.
Exactly why do we like gossip so much? Especially the salacious or malicious kind. In this case was it a particular dislike of Mr Edwards or the fact that he is in many ways an avatar for the BBC? Was it an example of watching someone who has reached the proverbial top, then fall from grace. A form of bespoke schadenfreude? Or was it a more politically motivated experience? A manifestation of the tribalistic nature of modern social discourse and a facet of the culture war? There was a similar amount of hysteria and delight recently over ITV presenter Phillip Schofield and his downfall, although that was more about moral judgement and possibly homophobia. Looking at such things in a wider context, there certainly seems to be a lot more spite driving peoples love for malicious gossip. You only have to read people's comments on tabloid news websites. They are mean spirited, unempathetic and riddled with assumptions, bias and prejudice.
There has been a growing culture of judgement running through tabloid newsprint and websites in recent years. Articles about sporting events which focus more on the audience, their manners and behaviour. Or reports about hot weather and the crowds on the beach. Aren’t they overweight and shocking? And then there’s the young people going out clubbing. Look, they’ve had too much to drink and should they really be wearing that? All too often such articles hide behind a superficial level of reporting, when in fact they are simply encouraging readers to pass judgement upon another socioeconomic group. Now it is a fact of human nature to dislike other people and for groups to segregate themselves. But we also have to also function as a cohesive society, so encouraging us to hate one another only increases tribalism. You only have to look to the US and wonder where it may all end.
The Huw Edwards story also raises such subjects as press regulation, UK libel laws and media ownership. The traditional UK press is predominantly right wing and does not reflect the political and social views held by the majority of the UK population. Yet it spreads discontent daily, slowly increases division and pushes its owners political agenda. We are now reaping the consequences of this growing disharmony. The UK is becoming cruel, lacking in empathy and very divided. It will end up becoming socially and politically ungovernable like the US. The population is also partly to blame with its insatiable appetite for gossip, scandal and schadenfreude. Does this ultimately boil down to the fact that many people feel their own lives are so utterly bleak and awful that they want others to suffer the same fate? What a chilling thought. A nation suffering an existential crisis that would prefer to burn everything down, rather than fix the situation.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
One of the things I enjoy most about having my own blog is the fact I can write about the mundane and the trivial. Mainly because so much of life falls into this category. Life defining events are all fine and dandy and certainly lend themselves to philosophical musings that make fine blog posts. However, you can get just as much mileage out of those everyday things in life with less gravitas, that we all do. Such as buying new clothes, taking out the recycling and going to buy groceries. I have written about all of these in the past. However, today I wish to broach a subject that both fascinates me but also raises my blood pressure. I believe it to be a social marker and a clear indication of an individual’s personal psychology. Yes, I’m talking about packing your groceries at the supermarket and the various rituals and social etiquette associated with it.
“Managed decline” is a phrase that refers to the processes associated with the end of a specific lifecycle, with the goal of minimizing costs or other forms of loss. The concept originated in business where it referred to the management of companies and industries. More recently it is used in wider contexts. The concept gained prominence with regard to urban policy, particularly in the UK during the eighties when several major cities suffered economic and political collapse. Of late, the term has been applied to the UK, encompassing a systematic weakening of the economy, social structures, and cultural values, as well as its global political and diplomatic force. In each case, managed decline involves making strategic choices about resource allocation and accepting the consequences of those decisions. It is a complex issue with ethical and practical considerations, often sparking debate about the best way to address decline and reverse the process.
Blaugust 2023
It is a fact of life, like death and taxes, that our passion for our hobbies will wax and wane overtime. All too often, the realities of daily life just get in the way. The enthusiasm you have in the morning for a great idea, may vanish by the evening when we finally have time to do it. Furthermore, if you do something often enough, sooner or later you’ll either want to (or need to) take a break. Regardless of how much you may love that particular pastime. Hobbies take time, energy and discipline. Sadly, not only can these factors take a toll upon your ongoing participation but they can also potentially stop you from even starting. I suspect that I am preaching to the proverbial choir and that many of those reading this will have experienced both scenarios. You’ve either struggled to sustain a “passion project” and have burned out, or you’ve fallen at the very first hurdle and not progressed beyond your initial excitement to try something new.
It is a fact of life, like death and taxes, that our passion for our hobbies will wax and wane overtime. All too often, the realities of daily life just get in the way. The enthusiasm you have in the morning for a great idea, may vanish by the evening when we finally have time to do it. Furthermore, if you do something often enough, sooner or later you’ll either want to (or need to) take a break. Regardless of how much you may love that particular pastime. Hobbies take time, energy and discipline. Sadly, not only can these factors take a toll upon your ongoing participation but they can also potentially stop you from even starting. I suspect that I am preaching to the proverbial choir and that many of those reading this will have experienced both scenarios. You’ve either struggled to sustain a “passion project” and have burned out, or you’ve fallen at the very first hurdle and not progressed beyond your initial excitement to try something new.
I fall into the former category. I’ve been blogging for over two decades and I slowly ground to a halt last September. I tried to jump start my “writing mojo” in April this year but it was short lived. Rather than playing amateur psychologist, let it suffice to say that motivation is a factor. Fortunately, Blaugust 2023: Festival of Blogging is fast approaching (it starts in August). This yearly, community driven, online event is an invaluable wellspring of support, advice, camaraderie and enjoyment. Organised and overseen by Belghast from the Tales of the Aggronaut blog, Blaugust “is a month-long event that takes place in August each year that focuses on blogging and other serialised content. The goal is to stoke the fires of creativity and allow bloggers and other content creators to mingle in a shared community while pushing each other to post more regularly. The idea is that this festival of blogging can help reignite dwindling fires for the next year and give folks a sense of kinship as a result”.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, actually it was quite shit”.
Hence, I have signed up for Blaugust 2023: Festival of Blogging as I find that the event is excellent for motivating me and focusing my energy. I would urge anyone who has blogged previously and wishes to resume their writing to read Bel’s post and come and join us on Discord. The same goes for anyone who is new to blogging or any other type of online content creation. You’ll find help and advice for all kinds of activities be it streaming, podcasting, blogging or vlogging. Being part of a community where you know that friends and colleagues will view your content and give you positive, constructive feedback can be a major boost when you are learning the ropes. As for me, I just need a proverbial kick up the arse to get blogging again. I enjoy writing for a multitude of reasons but the most fundamental one is that it makes me happy. Time to get back in the saddle.
There is a subtle difference between being rash and being proactive. Being rash means acting too fast without thinking about the results, while being proactive is a question of acting early with careful planning. Why have I mentioned this? Well prima facie information indicates that recent Blaugust participants are interested in an “official” online presence for the annual festival of blogging, other than that existing Discord server. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Not everyone likes using Discord and I do worry that they may reduce its free functionality at some point in the future. With regard to there being a Blaugust platform of some kind, there is a consensus that it doesn’t need to be some sort of sprawling commercially hosted website running on Wix or such like. Those sorts of site require funding, a degree of admin and possibly private data management. It also a bit too “corporate” if you like. Hence the logical compromise is to have a static site. Let it suffice to say, that has been done.
Judging by the posts I’ve read, it would appear that Blaugust 2026: Festival of Blogging has been well received by those who participated in it. That is most satisfying to know, especially in light of the fact that this is the first year the event has been run without our founder who sadly past away in July. It has also become clear that Blaugust is reaching a far wider and diverse audience and most definitely is no longer the exclusive province of bloggers from one particular community. There has been healthy discussions on our Discord server about whether this year event needs to adapt to accommodate the modern blogosphere. Questions such as whether or not there needs to be a dedicated Blaugust website have been raised and explored. Should every site participating have an RSS feed? How, if required, should comments be handled. Inevitably, the subject of the use of AI in blogging still remains a controversial issue.
After a very productive month of writing, we come to the final Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt. It is titled lessons learned and is usually a chance to reflect on the festival and whether or not it has been to one’s satisfaction. Have you achieved your goals? What have you gained from the experience? Those sorts of things. It also poses two further questions; “What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?” and “what’s the best advice you’ve ever given to someone else?” for your consideration. I’ll address the questions shortly. Firstly let’s mull over this years event and assess how it’s gone.
It was my blogging anniversary on the 16th August. I’ve been writing and sharing my post online for 19 years, via various different websites and blogs. This current iteration of Contains Moderate Peril has been around since August 2015. To date it has 2,171 posts including this one. Quantity does not necessarily equate to quality but there are some articles I am proud of and feel that they make their point effectively.
This week’s Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt is an important topic. Namely, staying motivated. I prepared a fairly lengthy post with some advice and ideas to keep people focused and writing. Then I checked it against the post I wrote last year and the year before that, going back to blogging events from 2012. All of these posts broadly said the same thing, so I decided to scrap what I had composed for today and to go with a simpler approach. I shall answer the questions Krikket posed for this writing prompt. Fellow blogger Bhagpuss has also done so and as ever, his thoughts are interesting and well expressed. Here are my answers.
Once again, I have stumbled across an interesting debate that has provided me with an opportunity to write a blog post. Over on the Blaugust Discord Server, I read a comment from AgingGamer regarding RSS feeds and their significance with regard to blogging. This in turn referred me to a post by fyr (don’t you love all these nom de plumes) who wrote at depth about the ongoing community debate about the use of RSS/Atom feeds. The article explored the importance of such feeds with regard to reaching readers and providing accessibility to the disabled. All of which provided me with a great deal of food for thought. Mainly because I use a mainstream website service provider for my online endeavours, so RSS is by default built. I’ve never really considered not having such a facility at my disposal. But the rise in the IndieWeb scene challenges this assumption.
I have written two blog posts today that I have subsequently abandoned. The first was gaming related but when I was about halfway through writing it, I felt like I was covering old ground and just repeating myself. It was also regarding an issue that can’t really be fixed. Namely, how do you ensure that matchmaking in PVP games is done equitably. As there is no solution to this issue at present, or at least not one that all parties can agree on, I decided to ditch it. Similarly a post I was working on about what becomes of my blog if anything happens to me was curtailed. In light of recent events in our community it seemed inappropriate. However, as a result of binning two blog posts, I new idea occurred to me. Do my fellow bloggers self-edit and curtail what they write about? Is your blog totally unfiltered or do you apply a set of rules that determine what content is deemed acceptable?
It is time for the next Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt. This one comes with two lines of enquiry. The first is an opportunity to “introduce yourself”. Over the years, I have written several introductory posts for previous Blaugust events. Rather than repeat myself I’ll just link to the last one, which was posted in August 2023. I haven’t radically charged since then apart from my hair going whiter. The next part of the prompt poses a far more intriguing question. “If you could have one magical power or super power, what would you choose and what would you use it for?”, which offers much for consideration. Having given this proposition much thought here is my response.
A decade ago I wrote a post about blogrolls and the practical and social issues surrounding them. At the time, the version of Squarespace I was using didn’t easily support such things or at least wasn’t able to do so in a manner I liked, so I didn’t have one. Ten years later Squarespace as a hosting platform has far greater functionality, hence I recently decided to add a blogroll. That was in March this year. However it just wasn’t really fit for purpose. So I decided to revise it a few days ago and rather than just have a traditional list of blogs in a side column, I ended up producing a more comprehensive blog directory, which list two hundred plus sites alpha-numerically. I’ve been tinkering with it on and off and I am now finally happy with it. The latest update reflects the international nature of the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging and the fact that we have many blogs written in their native language. Translating text is now an integral function of web browsers, so I see no reason why these blogs should be excluded.
Today’s post is part of the Blaugust 2026 Group project, which features a series of writing prompts set for specific dates throughout the month. The idea being that everyone who wishes to participate can write about the same subject, riff off each other’s posts and enjoy a shared experience. In many respect having a common writing prompt levels the playing field and provides a sense of common purpose among those who take part. Today’s group project prompt asks the question “tell us all about your very first blog”. An unambiguous and interesting question that will hopefully prove enjoyable to write about and informative to others.
I have been writing online for nearly two decades. I don’t claim to be good or accomplished but what I can say with certainty is that the more often you write, the easier it becomes. For those who are new to writing a blog and the Blaugust Festival of Blogging, possibly the biggest hurdle that you now have to get over, is writing your first post of the month. You spent the lead up to this event sorting out your blog templates, fine tuning the backend and possibly banking some ideas. Or you may have decided to just wing it and make it all up as you go along. Both are perfectly valid approaches. However, there is one thing left to do that cannot be put off, avoided or danced around. Writing. At some point you’ve got to do it. Or bail on the event. The proverbial “shit or get off the pot”.
If you take a cursory look at a calendar you will see that the month of July is fast coming to an end. That means that Blaugust 2026 Festival of Blogging starts in a few days time! If you’re participating, or thinking of doing so, the next few days present a golden opportunity to do some practical organising and basic preparation. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Feel free to just do things as they come, so to speak, if that’s your approach. However, for most of us, it helps if we have some kind of plan in place and make some arrangements in advance. I personally prefer this approach and like to have some ideas for blog posts in the bank. It is also useful to have “options” if something doesn’t go to plan. For those who are new to Blaugust, here are a few ideas regarding preparation that may be of use to you. As ever, your personal mileage may vary and ultimately you are best off adopting a strategy that suits your writing style and personal schedule.
Prior to last year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging, I upgraded Contains Moderate Peril to the latest version of Squarespace. There are still some aspects of the site that need fine tuning but overall, I am happy with the appearance of my blog and its respective functionality. With this year’s writing event fast approach, I decided to tackle over the last few days, some of those finer points that need tweaking. I have wanted a post counter on the site for a long time but unfortunately there is no native Squarespace widget for this basic function. I also felt the need to upgrade the blogroll, as the current one didn’t support RSS feeds from certain sites (e.g. Google Blogger) and was dependent upon a third party service, Elfsight, which wasn’t ideal. Both of these issues have now been addressed and I am pleased with the results. There is now a post counter on the Blog Archive page, which seems a logical place to have it and the Blogroll is now far more comprehensive.
Next month the annual Blaugust: Festival of Blogging begins. Roundabout this time each year, I try to write a promotional post to raise awareness of the event and encourage potential participants. However, as I’ve done this quite a few times before, each year it is becomes increasingly difficult to present the essential facts about Blaugust: Festival of Blogging in an interesting fashion. There’s nothing worse than writing a post and feeling that you’re just covering old ground. So, this year, I thought I’d try something different and present the most important information about this annual event, as if it were a conversation between myself and an interested passer by. Feel free to attribute novelty voices for each party in your own head, while you read this. If it helps, try imagining that this discussion is happening between two celebrities or such like. Both may be wearing exotic hats but I digress. On with the scenario.
I read a blog post by Void recently, about finding a new internet home. He wrote about how he and many others have had to pick up their “digital roots” and migrate multiple times over the years, from one platform to another. It is a position I can sympathise with as I have done likewise. Hence I like the idea of having a place online where I hangout by default. My own blog is an anchor for me but it is not quite the same thing as a platform or online portal where I can find all my friends and colleagues, share content and shoot the breeze. It’s a curious thing, because as I typed that last sentence it struck how such a sentiment may seem alien to others. There may well be people who like to have a finger in multiple pies and who are happy to frequent and flit between various social media apps, Discord servers and subreddits. I prefer to focus my efforts on a single instance. A place that suits my requirements, allows me to put down roots and become part of the furniture. Like a virtual Diogenes Club.
Everyday, once I’m up, I sit at my desk in my office, fire up my PC and log into Feedly. I have various RSS feeds grouped by category, which I slowly trawl through and read anything that catches my eye. I have one curated feed named “Blaugust” named after the yearly festival of blogging event. It has over 250 blogs listed, many of which are former participants. Most of these regularly post. Hence there’s a lot to get through and so I don’t read all of them. However there are a few that I always checkout. Mainly because they’re the personal musings of some of our writing community’s oldest and most prodigious members. The sorts of guys and gals who are part of the furniture. They’ve always been there and it feels like they always will. Posting their thoughts, sharing their enthusiasm and spreading the love, so to speak. One of these blogs, is Tales of the Aggronaut. written by Belghast.
On Friday 26th June, I had another random spike in internet traffic to Contains Moderate Peril. The statistical package that comes with my Squarespace account recorded over 13k visits in less than 24 hours, which is not typical (although I wish it was). However, all of these visits to my blog arrived via the default homepage and spent between 1 and 2 minutes there. Hence, it was obvious that this was not human traffic, as there was no evidence of any searches being made of content that is available on my site, nor of the “visitors” clicking on any of the links on the top menu and viewing other posts. This was undoubtedly AI traffic arriving at the designated homepage and simply parsing the site. I had a similar spate of this sort of web traffic last November. The only difference on that occasion is that the traffic all came from China. This time round it hailed from the US. I suspect that this is something that will happen more often as companies set their AI loose on the net for what is effectively training.
I recently watched a video on Patreon by someone who I actively support as a “content creator” and whose work I enjoy. I shall provide no more detail regarding their identity because they may not want their work referenced with regard to what I am going to say. During the course of their video they briefly referenced the work put into promoting a podcast they are currently producing and the relatively low audience that it has garnered so far. The comments were an aside and most certainly not said with any sense of self-pity. They were simply a statement of fact. Furthermore, I suspect they are far from unique and similar sentiments have been expressed in one way or another by anyone who has created something the published it online, only for it to be lost among the greater white noise” of the wider internet.
When I first started blogging way back in 2007, I maintained a blogroll of all my colleagues and peers’ websites. At the time this was a common practice and a way to support an expanding community. I considered this such an important aspect of the blogging scene at the time, I created a website to aggregate posts from video game blogs, called The Gaming Blog Nexus. It ran for two years and proved quite useful. However, it was tricky to administer and would frequently break as a lot of the back end widgets and plugins were created and maintained by “gifted amateurs”. I eventually shut it down due to the operating costs. When I moved my own website, Contains Moderate Peril, to Squarespace in 2015 I intended to start maintaining a blogroll once again. However, at that time there was no native support for such a thing on the platform. Hence for the last ten years, I have not had a blogroll on my website, which hasn’t sat well with me.
I was speaking to someone recently about hobbies (fortunately it wasn’t Simon Quinlank) and I mentioned that I have maintained a blog for over a 19 years. When I talked about the ongoing cost they were most surprised, as they had assumed that blogging was something that could be done for free. I guess we’ve become so accustomed to the provision of free online services such as email, that this a reasonable assumption. I pointed out that although it is indeed possible to blog for free using Blogger, it was not the optimal approach, especially if you want to maintain some degree of control over your writing. Naturally, the next question they asked was how much do I spend and I gave them a ballpark figure. All of which reminded me that I wrote a post on this very subject a few years ago. So I’ve decided to revisit the subject and see how much it currently costs to maintain Contains Moderate Peril.
Today I started the slow process of auditing every post that has been published on Contains Moderate Peril since 1st August 2016. The goal is to correct any obvious typos and replace all existing images with larger ones. The Squarespace software upgrade I applied to the website at the end of last year has finally allowed me to establish a standard format that I am happy with. Hence the ongoing audit is the perfect opportunity to apply these style rules to all posts. There are also some technical issues and matters regarding functionality that need to be addressed. I need to determine how to embed YouTube videos in such a way that they automatically scale to fit whatever device is viewing them. Another area which needs improving is the website search facility. This needs refinement so that enquiries can be more specific. Older posts also need to be more accessible, although I am still researching how best to achieve this.
It’s nearly two and half months since the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event ended. During that time I’ve maintained a fairly regular writing schedule and I post every two days or so. Furthermore, I finally dragged my blog template, kicking and screaming, into the modern era. I tweaked a few pages and updated the content of the “about” page. The next task is to start going through all previous posts and replacing older, low resolution images with larger, more appropriate ones. This process also presents an opportunity to ensure that all posts follow a uniform style. IE Are appropriately categorised, have links to related posts at the bottom and are SEO optimised. This will be a lengthy task so I think the best approach will be to tackle two or three posts a day. Hopefully this will raise the profile of older content, which generates the lion’s hare of traffic to this site.
I use a browser extension called Control Panel for YouTube, which allows me to determine who many videos are displayed on my YouTube homepage and to filter the content that is shown. At present it is configured to display rows of six. Something that I have noticed of late, is the amount of videos with hyperbolic titles and thumbnail images created by AI. Both of which are design choices made to increase engagement. Clickbait titles are contrived to meet current SEO optimisation criteria and as such feature more and more in search results. The fact that they frequently have no relation to the subject I am researching, seems to be neither here nor there. The same issues arise with regard to AI generated images, which again frequently have no bearing on the matter. The fact that more and more content creators do this, infers that it works and is now an essential part of the process you must follow to be seen and featured in search results.
In the last post in this series, I specified the need for a plan with regard to upgrading my blog. Well a plan has emerged, been refined and has now been formally adopted. Rather than migrate Contains Moderate Peril to a new platform and effectively have to rebuild all the content, I am going to upgrade my existing presence on Squarespace. This decision was made for two reasons. Time and money. Migrating to a new platform will take a lot of time and incur additional costs. Upgrading the existing website will take less time and has no cost implications. That is not to say that it will be easy. It has become abundantly clear that the upgrade process will break stuff and that all published posts will have to be manually repaired. Hence my choice boils down to the lesser of two evils.
This year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging has reached an end and it would appear that this event has been well received by those who have participated in it. I believe that there were 168 bloggers taking part this year, many of whom have not participated before. Some were new to blogging, where others simply wished to see if they could increase their writing output. As ever there was a wide variety of blog styles and subject matters and it has been most interesting to read new posts every day. I have attempted to leave comments and positive feedback where I can and I hope that some of these new blogs that I’ve discovered continue to write. Well done to everyone who took part. I hope it has been an enjoyable and informative process and that you have learned from it. I know that at least one blogger has determined that writing online is not for them, which is a valuable lesson.
There is currently a group writing prompt available as part of this year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging which has piqued my interest. It asks the question “what is the oldest draft post you have” and suggests that it is revived in some manner. I have dozens of draft posts in a folder in my Google Drive. Many are film reviews or film related. The oldest of which dates back to summer 2010. Rather than write a straight forward review of Blake Edwards 1968 comedy The Party, I rather foolishly thought at the time that I’d tackle the issue of whether the film is sufficiently racist to make it beyond the pale. Let it suffice to say that I quickly found myself bogged down in the complexities of the subject and thus never completed the blog post.
I’ve participated in every previous Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event. Prior to that I was involved in the Newbie Blogger Initiative or NBI as it was affectionately known. I have therefore written quite a lot of blogging advice and suggestions over the years. If anyone feels disposed to do so, you can access them all by clicking on the “blogging” option on the top menu of this blog. However, it is important to remember that a lot of the ideas I have advocated and written about over the years are purely subjective. Not all advice or guidance works for everyone. People have different ideas about blogging, different approaches to it and different aspirations. This year has highlighted some quite distinct differences among bloggers which has been most illuminating.
Today is my blogging anniversary. I have been writing online consistently for 18 years. My earliest blogs no longer exist, although they can be found via the Internet Archive Wayback Machine. My first blog was a Lord of the Rings Online fansite called Misadventures in LOTRO. After a while this morphed into a wider gaming website; Misadventures in Gaming. However, I soon discovered that I wanted to write about more than just video games, so I decided to start from scratch and created Contains Moderate Peril in February 2010. This blog endured and has been my main online presence ever since. It has moved several times for various reasons. For a while I had a sponsor, as well as a reasonably sized audience and had dreams of making money from my writing and podcast. But it wasn’t to be and now I just write primarily for my own peace of mind and amusement.
This year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging has already raised a very interesting debate. An old one that habitually comes up when discussing blogs. Namely, whether a blog should or should not have “comments” enabled. However this time round there is a different slant on things. Rather than the usual binary choice of having comments enabled or disabled on your site, this time round there is a third option available. Leaving comments via email or a third party service such as Mastodon. Both of these additional options keep comments conspicuously at arms length from your website. Furthermore, the email option makes the comments private, instead of in the public domain. All of which puts a subtly different spin on conventional notions of blog comments and makes this ongoing discussion all the more interesting.
Evolution of Horror: Podcasting Masterclass
Earlier tonight, I had the pleasure of participating in the Evolution of Horror: Podcasting Masterclass. An online seminar conducted via Zoom. For those who are not familiar with the Evolution of Horror, it is a podcast written and hosted by Mike Muncer along with regular guests. It explores horror cinema in depth, considering the technical, thematic and sociological elements of the genre. Launched in 2017 this independent production has gone from strength to strength, with Mike now producing content for Paramount + and Studio Canal. The masterclass was designed to provide podcasters both old and new with some practical advice and answer some commonly asked questions. Being a fan of Evolution of Horror as well as a former podcaster, I signed up and enjoyed a most informative and enjoyable 90 minute seminar.
Earlier tonight, I had the pleasure of participating in the Evolution of Horror: Podcasting Masterclass. An online seminar conducted via Zoom. For those who are not familiar with the Evolution of Horror, it is a podcast written and hosted by Mike Muncer along with regular guests. It explores horror cinema in depth, considering the technical, thematic and sociological elements of the genre. Launched in 2017 this independent production has gone from strength to strength, with Mike now producing content for Paramount + and Studio Canal. The masterclass was designed to provide podcasters both old and new with some practical advice and answer some commonly asked questions. Being a fan of Evolution of Horror as well as a former podcaster, I signed up and enjoyed a most informative and enjoyable 90 minute seminar.
The Zoom based masterclass was quite an intimate setting. Having all the participants on screen created a very personal atmosphere. Mike is a very confident public speaker who excels at informal but informative discussions. As you’d expect with a masterclass, Mike went through his planning and recording process. How he scripted introductions and wrote shownotes, selected guests according to expertise and the mechanics of recording the show. He also discussed the software and hardware used as well as hosting. There was a particular focus upon finding the right dynamic, tone and niche for your podcast. Mike produced some rather amusing videos about the “do’s and don’ts” of recording a conversation to highlight how you must back up your references, not talk over each other and never assume that listeners have seen the same films that you have.
The masterclass ended with a Q&A which featured a broad range of enquiries from participants. This was in many ways just as informative as the first part of the seminar. It was interesting to see people from existing podcasts still seeking out advice from their peers as well as those who were new to content creation of this kind. I found this to be especially beneficial because I have recently reflected upon the several hundred podcasts that myself and co-host Brian produced between 2010 and 2022. I have wondered whether we made any obvious mistakes in our production or with our approach to making a podcast. Mike seems to have done much that is comparable to what we did, although far more successfully. I certainly feel, on the strength of this masterclass, that I could return to podcasting and produce a new show of an acceptable standard.
Like blogging, podcasting started off as an accessible means of communicating that everyone could participate in. The barriers to entry, both technical and financial, have always been pretty low. Sadly, fan driven podcasting seems to have been overshadowed by a tsunami of corporate content. Some of it is good but not all of it is. Podcasts made by production companies have advertising budgets and hence find it easier to establish themselves. However, the Evolution of Horror has managed to find its audience and gain critical acclaim the old fashioned way. Through word of mouth, building a community and by being very good. If Mike does another masterclass I would certainly recommend it to anyone who produces a podcast or is thinking of doing so. You’ll get honest answers, practical advice and a lot of genuine encouragement. Rare commodities these days.
The initial podcast boom, which began circa 2005, started as an audio only medium. One of the reasons podcasting became so popular, especially among the fan community, was that you could get away with relatively low production standards. Anyone who had access to a basic microphone and a PC, could produce a show and upload it to iTunes, which was the primary platform at the time. Listeners were forgiving back then. Twenty years later and podcasting has been on a tempestuous journey. It started with the medium being accessible and democratised, sustaining a rich and diverse fan community via non-professional productions. However, slowly and inevitably it has been assimilated by corporate interests. Fan podcasts have given way to podcast production companies. The small, micro-budget, indie show has effectively been thrown out of their own party. Such shows still exist but they struggle to be heard.
Last August I listened to The Battersea Poltergeist podcast by Danny Robins and was subsequently introduced to his other production Uncanny. Both are investigations into alleged supernatural events but unlike other shows of this kind, these are far better researched, produced and most importantly even handed. Danny makes a great deal of effort to try and keep a foot in each camp; team believer and team sceptic. Overall these podcast work as they genuinely appeal to multiple audiences and they are not excessively hyperbolic or credulous. A lot of this comes down to Danny’s personality which is upbeat and relatable. Perhaps his greatest strength is being a sympathetic ear to those recounting their experiences. He lightens the mood from time to time with humour when required. He also liberally litters the proceedings with pop culture references. However, he will probe and ask pointed questions but does so in a non-accusatory manner.
Have you noticed how politicians, pundits and media commentators will often throw around phrases and buzzwords when discussing the news and other major political talking points? “Cultural Marxism” and “Metropolitan Elite” are two examples that spring to mind. Often it is clear that the person using these phrases has no idea what they mean or what their provenance is. Perhaps you’ve thought that it would be useful to learn more about these terms or the background behind certain institutions or movements. If this is the case then I wholeheartedly recommend the Origin Story podcast. To quote from their website “What are the real stories behind the most misunderstood and abused ideas in politics? From Conspiracy Theory to Woke to Centrism and beyond, Ian Dunt and Dorian Lynskey dig into the astonishing secret histories of concepts you thought you knew”.
I was unaware of the The Battersea Poltergeist podcast and accompanying online interest during its initial release. Created by Bafflegab Productions and presented by Danny Robins, who is well known in this field with similar shows such as Haunted and Uncanny, it was broadcast on BBC Sounds and BBC Radio 4 between February and March 2021 during lockdown. The Battersea Poltergeist is a documentary of a true story with dramatized re-enactments. The show alternates between interviews, discussions and research into the case with short vignettes from a cast of actors recreating events for dramatic effect. It was released episodically and gained a lot of online and press interest at the time. Hence there were additional episodes interspersed throughout the initial run which provided “case updates” and listener feedback and questions.
I spent most of this morning and afternoon editing video content I captured while playing Sniper Elite Resistance. I assembled 26 minutes of highlights and then recorded a narration. After adding appropriate branding for Contains Moderate Peril, I then uploaded the finished video to YouTube. Sadly, the picture quality was problematic, often becoming pixelated and blocky when there was rapid movement. The volume of my narration was also too low, so I decided to delete the video from my channel. I was somewhat disappointed by this outcome and initially thought that the day had been a waste of time. However, as I write this post, it becomes very clear that this is just part of the learning curve. I have given some thought to the problem and I believe I have determined why this video was not up to the standard of the previous one. Ultimately, this is an invaluable lesson.
I recently wrote a post about how I wanted to have a go at producing some gaming videos for YouTube. “How hard can it be?” I asked rhetorically, knowing that there would probably be a lot more to the process than meets the eye. Two weeks on and I can report back that there is indeed a learning curve but it is not insurmountable. I managed to figure out how to record a video game, edit it and then add a narration as well as a simple animated logo. Furthermore, I succeeded in doing this without spending a lot of money. I bought some video editing software and a year’s subscription to XSplit Broadcaster but got a really good deal on both. In total I paid £41, which is very reasonable. Hence yesterday, I posted my first video on the officially relaunched Contains Moderate Peril YouTube channel.
I regularly receive random emails addressed to such august bodies as “the Contains Moderate Peril team”. They always raise a wry smile. Like there’s a team. That implies an organisation, structure and even a budget. As opposed to just me, screaming into the void and pouring money into a financial black hole. I don’t resent such emails. People are just trying to earn a crust, I guess. The only thing about them that frustrates me, is they never address me by name. A cursory glance at the “about” page of the website would provide them with my personal details. So I just delete them and think no more about them. Today I received one that did more than make me smile. In fact I laughed out loud and heartily. The email started with “Dear Burton”. Someone had found a few old episodes of the Burton and Scrooge podcast and had assumed this was indeed my real identity.
Earlier tonight, I had the pleasure of participating in the Evolution of Horror: Podcasting Masterclass. An online seminar conducted via Zoom. For those who are not familiar with the Evolution of Horror, it is a podcast written and hosted by Mike Muncer along with regular guests. It explores horror cinema in depth, considering the technical, thematic and sociological elements of the genre. Launched in 2017 this independent production has gone from strength to strength, with Mike now producing content for Paramount + and Studio Canal. The masterclass was designed to provide podcasters both old and new with some practical advice and answer some commonly asked questions. Being a fan of Evolution of Horror as well as a former podcaster, I signed up and enjoyed a most informative and enjoyable 90 minute seminar.
About three years ago, I wrote a very similar post to this one. Titled “Ride off into the sunset” it was an account of bloggers leaving or retiring from the community. Especially those who are established and part of the proverbial furniture. I referenced Zubon from Kill Ten Rats as an example and naturally invoked the mantra that nothing remains the same forever. Many of us go through periods of our life where a specific activity or pastime galvanises us into action. We focus on that activity for sometime and it becomes an integral part of our life and even identity. However, eventually we move on usually because such a hobby isn’t sustainable. Modern life makes too many demands upon our time. Plus we all change as individuals. What delights us today may well depress us in a year’s time. This was the thrust of that post and I now find myself in the sad but inevitable situation of writing it again.
I recently decided I’d had enough of the endless deliberation and procrastination and so I started producing a weekly podcast again. As of today the second episode of Season 10 of the Contains Moderate Peril podcast is available on all major platforms. I must admit, although I was confident that a few people would listen to the show, I was completely taken aback by the overall reaction. The Contains Moderate Peril podcast was warmly welcomed back by previous listeners on social media and the statistics for the first show have been most positive. For myself and Brian, recording the show is like putting on a comfortable pair of shoes. Last night’s recording went okay and I think after a few more episodes, the recording and editing process will be an efficient process. Keeping each episode to an hour or under means that the conversation stays on point.
Sometimes in life, you have to stop banging on about what you want to do and just go out and do it. I was thinking, yet again, over the Christmas holidays about how I wanted to get back into podcasting and to create a regular show. Although it is always a pleasure to be a guest on Beyond Bossfights, it is not quite the same as writing and producing your own project. So I decided not to sit around and overthink things but instead to pick a subject as a talking point, start recording and see what happened. As ever, my longstanding co-host Brian was happy to participate and so joined the session. Several hours later, I had a fully edited recording that was good to go. Hence, I am pleased to announce that after a three year hiatus, the Contains Moderate Peril podcast is back. A new episode is now available for download, either via the podcast page of this site or through iTunes and Stitcher.
My personal podcast journey started back in 2010 when I effectively invited myself onto the Mordor or Bust podcast. The three of us who were involved in the production of that show were learning as we went along. I recently listened to an old episode and despite our enthusiasm, it is quite rough around the edges from a technical perspective. I think that the biggest mistake that I made at the time was not investing in a better quality microphone. I sound like I’m at the bottom of a well. It’s hardly surprising as I was using a very cheap analog desk microphone which I think only cost a few pounds from PC World. Roll on eleven years and I’ve been invited to be a guest on the Beyond Bossfights podcast. It’s nice to be back in the saddle again, so to speak. Up until now, I’ve been using my Razer gaming headset for any previous podcast recordings but I’ve decided to take the opportunity to overhaul my technical setup.
Back in 2010 there was a video game podcast boom, especially with shows driven by MMORPG fandom. Hence, in a fit of hubris, I decided to add my voice to the growing conversation. Or alternatively jumped on the bandwagon, depending upon your point of view. The accessibility of the tools to create and distribute a podcast eliminated the traditional barriers to producing such material. Technically, the entire process of making a podcast remains quite simple. You record, edit, upload and promote. The quality of the podcast comes down to two factors. Your content and technical presentation. In this post I’d like to focus upon the latter. Podcasts are by their very nature, an audio medium, so it is important that those speaking are recorded clearly. Yes, this post is about microphones. How they can make or break a podcast (or live stream) and that they’re my new fixation.
Back in July 2014, a small group of podcasters banded together to launch The Gaming and Entertainment Network, a website which aggregated the content of eight independently produced shows. This eclectic group of podcasts covered a range of subjects such as gaming, movies, TV, hats and bacon as well as other aspects of popular culture. The project was conceived and implemented by Braxwolf from the popular blog Gaming Conversations. It was designed to raise awareness of the respective shows, as well promote group collaboration between the content creators. In addition to the website, TGEN (as it was abbreviated to) also had a presence on twitter, Facebook and Anook ensuring that the network was represented on all popular social media. Initially 8 podcasts participated in the project. Aggrochat, Battle Bards, Beyond Bossfights, Cat Context, Contains Moderate Peril, Couch Podtatoes, Massive Failure and Roleplay Domain.
Life is often about the things we’d like to do or wished we had done, rather than the things we’ve actually achieved. My last post in this blog series was back in 2nd October 2018 and the last podcast that I published was in January 2019. Since then most attempts to produce more content of this kind have come to nought, as spare time for both recording and editing have been in short supply. However, I did manage to record some material on the 22nd of December with my long-time co-host Brian. The idea was to release the finished podcast as a surprise show at the end of the year. However, due to real world commitments, that deadline has not been met. Now there’s a surprise. I do intend to finish editing the show and may add some extra material to make it a little more topical. But overall, I am not too upset by this delay, because in the process of organising this podcast, I discovered a quick and convenient means of recording via Discord. Something that has been seen as Holy Grail of podcasting over the years.
As part of the Blaugust Festival of Blogging, I thought I’d take the time to promote some of the content creators whose work I enjoy. Despite all the white noise, click bait and snake oil salesmen, there is still a wealth of good material to be found online, be it blogs, podcasts, You Tube channels or streamers. Most of what I currently enjoy, I discovered through word of mouth. I feel more disposed towards trusting the views and opinions of friends than I do of “recommendations” made by Google and You Tube, driven by their “questionable” algorithms. These are often determined by key words and have no ability to ascertain quality. So here are a mixture of You Tube channels, podcasts and blogs that I wholeheartedly recommend. Between them they cover such subjects as movies, gaming, comedy and history. Feel free to leave comments about my choices and share your own recommendations.
I’ve been pondering a new podcast project for a while, since Contains Moderate Peril ended a year ago. As I’ve discussed in previous posts, I want to create a movie-based show and have been considering of late exactly what sort of format to adopt. I don’t go to the cinema often enough these days to produce a contemporary review orientated podcast, plus I don’t find a lot of mainstream releases to be sufficiently engaging. Despite looking and pursuing discrete enquiries, I haven’t been able to find a co-host who is sufficiently knowledgeable, motivated or available to do a regular show producing the audio equivalent of long form criticism of films and the movie industry. So, it’s been a bit of a chore to try and work out which niche to explore. However, I have now a clear idea of what I want to do.
I have no problems finding podcasts and You Tube channels that explore the subjects that I like. It’s determining which ones are any good that is the real trick and the only way to do this is to sit down and listen or watch them. Sometimes you need to give two or three episodes a go before you can truly determine if a show is for you. So, I thought it may be useful to share another small selection of the content that I am currently enjoying, so you don’t have to wade through quite so much “white noise” that fills the internet. I’ve made a conscious decision to select a broader spectrum of material and not to focus just on gaming. All the shows recommended are freely available although you can support the content creators if you wish to. Feel free to leave comments on the titles listed and share your own recommendations.
Today I did a little blog housekeeping. I’ve reposted the last five episodes of the Contains Moderate Peril on the podcast page, now that previous hosting account has been closed and the RSS feed is defunct. The files are held locally and can either be played via the embedded player or downloaded manually. There are also two episodes of the Burton & Scrooge Podcast still available on SoundCloud for posterity. The podcast page and selection of episodes available are for reference and as an example of my podcasting back catalogue, so to speak. I may not be actively creating content of this kind at present, but I see no reason not to promote my experience in the field. If circumstances change in the future, there may be resumption of service.
I made a hard decision today. I cancelled my Podbean subscription and have effectively closed the Contains Moderate Peril podcast. Despite relaunching the show last September, I simply haven’t had the time to collate content for discussion or organise recording sessions with co-hosts. Hence, we are now two months into 2018 and a new show has not yet been produced. Furthermore, the listener numbers for the episode posted between September and December last year were disappointing. Upon mature reflection, I have reached the conclusion that the podcast peaked in 2014 when we had a strong and established audience. Rather than chase my own tail trying to recapture something that may well have been a product of circumstance, it seems prudent to finally draw a line under this show. I’m a little sad about this situation, as it does feel like the end of a personal era, but it is time to move on.
2017 didn’t quite go to plan with regard to my personal podcast output. Brian and I decided to stop producing the Burton & Scrooge Podcast and return to creating material under the Contains Moderate Peril brand. This was a good idea in so far as consolidation, but it was ill timed as both of us were somewhat fatigued with podcasting per se. Ultimately Brian decided to take a break and pursue some projects of his own. I decided to push on with podcasting in my usual idiom and I was pleased with the three new shows that were produced. Sean, Brax, Jaedia and Wolfy were extremely obliging and great guests, but ultimately my schedule just couldn’t sustain a regular show. Hence, I re-released some “classic” shows to fill the gaps in the run up to Christmas. As a result of all these changes and the delays, the overall numbers for the show have been disappointing. Although statistics are not the only reason why I podcast, they are important as I was hoping to grow the audience this year. That has patently not happened although it is nice to know there’s a loyal core group of listeners. Therefore, I now have to think long and hard about my podcasting plans for 2018.
Ever had what you thought was a great idea for a podcast that looked good on paper but turned into something quite different, once you started recording? Well I had that experience on Sunday evening and today I am dealing with the results. It all started with an innocuous Twitter conversation (don’t many things I hear you say) which highlighted a minor cultural difference between the US and the UK. Having recorded with an American co-host for many years this is a common occurrence, so I decided to make it the theme of the next Contains Moderate Peril podcast. I initially thought of several fun examples that could be discussed; the British obsession with the weather, cheese-rolling and Morris dancing. However, rather than take a scattergun approach, I decided to list specific categories in the show notes. Subjects such as school, work, food, social customs and public holidays were added for discussion and I believe that is where thing started to go wrong.
Podcasts are becoming an invaluable medium for the analysis and discussion of niche interests and bespoke subjects. Many of the shows that I regularly listen to bring professional quality documentary skills to bear on unique and varied areas of fandom. More and more podcasts are being made by informed and intelligent fans, offering in-depth material rather than just light weight banter. Simply put, I am spoilt for choice. Therefore, it is essential to have a suitable podcast management app to stay on top of such quality entertainment. Something that allows me to curate and organise those shows that I currently enjoy, as well as providing recommendations for comparable material that I may wish to subscribe to. For several years I’ve been using Podcast Addict on my Android devices, although I’ve struggled to find something comparable for my PC.
Last night, myself, Hannah and Chris (AKA Jaedia and Wolfyseyes) had an especially productive recording session. We managed to produce two hours of material in total and I’m confident that it can be whittled down into a coherent and enjoyable ninety-minute episode. What I especially enjoyed about this podcast recording was buoyant atmosphere and the flow of the conversation. I felt that we explored the various topics well and that the discussion felt natural. Ultimately, it will be the listeners who’ll determine whether this is the case or not but from my perspective the recording went well because the guests were a good choice. If you are pursuing a podcast format that has multiple hosts or regularly features guests, then it is important for there to be a rapport between all involved.
As I surmised, in its current state Squarespace has proven an inadequate host for my current podcast. After exchanging several emails with Apple support, I was informed that “the server for your episodes does not support HTTP HEAD requests. To enable streaming playback of episodes, ensure the hosting server allows HTTP HEAD requests and has byte-range requests enabled”. To cut a long story short, there is no scope for me to alter any of these things at present within the Squarespace dashboard. Nor did I want the work involved in using a third-party feed managing service such as FeedBurner. So, I decided to open up an account with a commercial hosting service. After some research, I determined that PodBean could cater for all my needs and at a competitive price. Submitting the new RSS feed was easy and Apple approved the podcast within 36 hours. As of today, the Contains Moderate Peril podcast is back on iTunes.
Whenever I encounter a word or term that I’m not familiar with, I will usually Google it. That’s the way I’m wired. I prefer to “know” rather than “not know”. However, it is not the concept of continuous self-improvement that I wish to discuss in this post but something else. Namely sociolinguistics. Earlier today I saw someone mention vocal fry on Twitter. I had no idea what that was so I checked on Wikipedia, watched some You Tube videos and finally read some newspaper articles. An hour later I was aware of not only vocal fry, but run-ons, uptalk, glottal Ts and the fact that the way we speak has a major impact upon our lives, just like education and class. According to sociolinguistics, the manner in which you speak has a major impact on the way you are perceived by others. Sadly, like so many other social markers, it can be used in a discriminatory fashion.
Back in April I decided to relaunch the Contains Moderate Peril podcast for reasons of brand continuity. At the time, I was hoping to get back in to the podcasting saddle and return to producing weekly shows. However, the recording session was fraught with technical problems with Zencastr crashing regularly. I was left with nine separate audio tracks that weren’t in sync which made editing a major problem. There then followed a wealth or real-world issues that I had to address that meant for the next three months the podcast was put on hold. Finally, at the beginning of August I managed to complete the post production work on the show and publish it via Squarespace. I was hoping that using this existing website as a host for the show would save some money and reduce the work load. However, like most plans, it didn’t exactly work out that way
Finally, after several months of diversions and distractions, I’ve managed to produce a new podcast. As I mentioned in a previous post, the Burton & Scrooge Podcast has been officially retired and for practical reasons of brand consolidation, the Contains Moderate Peril Podcast has been reinstated and will become the official show for this website. However, it should be noted that this latest episode is specifically designed to be a technical test meant to validate our RSS feed for submission to iTunes. Once this logistical issue has been dealt with and the podcast is accessible on all major platforms, then further episodes of the show will be scheduled for Autumn.
Selling My Parents House
Last August my mother died at the age of 91. Since last September, her will has slowly been processed by our family solicitors. To cut a long story short we received the Grant of Probate in March this year. Three months on and my sister and I have finally put the family home up for sale. My sister still resides at the property and has done so all her life. Hence not only are we looking to sell our parents house but also find my sister a flat or maisonette. Both of us agreed when we embarked upon this process not to rush and to let things run at their own pace. The last few years of caring for our parents was a very difficult and exhausting experience. Hence, both of us have taken some time out to rest, recuperate and take stock of our lives. My sister has recently retired and it was important to get that matter resolved first, before addressing the sale of the family home.
Last August my mother died at the age of 91. Since last September, her will has slowly been processed by our family solicitors. To cut a long story short we received the Grant of Probate in March this year. Three months on and my sister and I have finally put the family home up for sale. My sister still resides at the property and has done so all her life. Hence not only are we looking to sell our parents house but also find my sister a flat or maisonette. Both of us agreed when we embarked upon this process not to rush and to let things run at their own pace. The last few years of caring for our parents was a very difficult and exhausting experience. Hence, both of us have taken some time out to rest, recuperate and take stock of our lives. My sister has recently retired and it was important to get that matter resolved first, before addressing the sale of the family home.
One of the most challenging aspects of this process has been the house clearance. This has involved going through all our parents’ possessions and deciding what to do with them. It is a very sobering experience to be confronted with all the personal items and clothing that a person has amassed during the course of their life. At times it feels like you are complicit in erasing that person’s identity. But you can’t hang on to everything although it would appear that my parents came from a generation that did exactly that. Some of the things that my mother and father hoarded beggar belief but they grew up during World War II and were accustomed to hardship. Rampant consumerism and disposability were not the foundations of society back then, so I will forgive their compulsion to hang onto everything.
Once the clearance was completed, we commissioned a local Estate Agents and formally put the house up for sale. A photographer came and took multiple pictures of the house and gardens. It was scrupulously measured and categorised. The final sales description is honest and accurate. It is a three bedroom, end of terrace house in a desirable residential area and has a 110 foot south facing garden. There are two reception rooms, two bathrooms and a kitchen extension. The house has “potential to extend and modernise” which is the polite way of saying it needs a complete refurbishment. This is fair as it was last redecorated in the eighties and done so according to the prevailing tastes and styles of the time. The asking price reflects the current housing market in Greater London. However, sales take longer at present, so we’ve been told to be patient.
There are many milestones during the course of one’s life. The purchase and then years later, the sale of a family home are certainly among them. In the UK, home ownership is still considered a major aspirational goal, although it is currently becoming increasingly difficult. The concept of a “house of your own” is a significant political issue and a major part of the UK’s cultural identity. Whereas in Europe, renting is far more commonplace. My parent’s generation saw buying a home as a major achievement. The provision of a safe and welcoming home environment to raise a family was the foundation of a marriage. Your home,once paid for, became an asset and a source of financial security. In their later years it brought a sense of comfort to both my parents, that they had something of value that their children could inherit. Hence a house is often more than just “bricks and mortar”.
For me the house still holds a lot of memories, although I moved out over three decades ago. My sister’s perspective is a little different as she has lived there all her life. Although she shares a broadly similar sentimental outlook regarding the house, it is now unsuitable for a single person. She is looking forward to downsizing and moving somewhere new. Plus, during our parents illnesses I always had the luxury of going to my own home at the end of the day, where she did not. I understand how the home may not offer as much nostalgia for her. Overall, we are both in accord with the sale and although it is the end of an era, we are happy for the house to find new owners. It was designed in the 1930s to be a family home and it would be nice to see it serve that purpose once again.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
One of the things I enjoy most about having my own blog is the fact I can write about the mundane and the trivial. Mainly because so much of life falls into this category. Life defining events are all fine and dandy and certainly lend themselves to philosophical musings that make fine blog posts. However, you can get just as much mileage out of those everyday things in life with less gravitas, that we all do. Such as buying new clothes, taking out the recycling and going to buy groceries. I have written about all of these in the past. However, today I wish to broach a subject that both fascinates me but also raises my blood pressure. I believe it to be a social marker and a clear indication of an individual’s personal psychology. Yes, I’m talking about packing your groceries at the supermarket and the various rituals and social etiquette associated with it.
“Managed decline” is a phrase that refers to the processes associated with the end of a specific lifecycle, with the goal of minimizing costs or other forms of loss. The concept originated in business where it referred to the management of companies and industries. More recently it is used in wider contexts. The concept gained prominence with regard to urban policy, particularly in the UK during the eighties when several major cities suffered economic and political collapse. Of late, the term has been applied to the UK, encompassing a systematic weakening of the economy, social structures, and cultural values, as well as its global political and diplomatic force. In each case, managed decline involves making strategic choices about resource allocation and accepting the consequences of those decisions. It is a complex issue with ethical and practical considerations, often sparking debate about the best way to address decline and reverse the process.
PC Upgrade Time Again
Reading back through previous blog posts, it would appear that I upgrade my PC every 4 to 5 years, while replacing the various peripherals during the intervening time. Such changes are usually driven by creeping obsolescence, performance issues and on occasion by physical failure. When it comes to replacing a processor, graphics card and other parts, I tend to buy the best that I can get on the budget that I have available. Although I am far from broke, I am not in a position to spend whatever I want when it comes to buying technology. I have to work within the allotted funds available. Hence I don’t necessarily get the PC that I desire but I do end up with one that “gets the job done”. Online benchmark tests tend to show that my desktop PC is usually two thirds of the way up the current performance hierarchy.
Reading back through previous blog posts, it would appear that I upgrade my PC every 4 to 5 years, while replacing the various peripherals during the intervening time. Such changes are usually driven by creeping obsolescence, performance issues and on occasion by physical failure. When it comes to replacing a processor, graphics card and other parts, I tend to buy the best that I can get on the budget that I have available. Although I am far from broke, I am not in a position to spend whatever I want when it comes to buying technology. I have to work within the allotted funds available. Hence I don’t necessarily get the PC that I desire but I do end up with one that “gets the job done”. Online benchmark tests tend to show that my desktop PC is usually two thirds of the way up the current performance hierarchy.
Last November when the latest incarnation of Call of Duty was released (Modern Warfare II), I noticed that when I played the game at 1910 x 1200 on my primary monitor, it looked shit (a technical term). When I ran the game’s benchmark test it showed that the processor was fine but the existing graphics card was underpowered. As this is the primary game that I play at present, I decided to replace the card with a more robust model. Hence I bought an Nvidia GeForce GTX 1660 Super. This was the best model I could get on my budget and it has certainly improved the games performance. I also started playing using my second monitor which has a standard HD resolution of 1920 x 1080, just to squeeze a few more frames per second. I think this reasonable upgrade will prove viable for a while. Warzone 2.0 is by far the most demanding game out of those that I currently play.
I was hoping that this would be the last upgrade for a while but that has proven not to be the case. A few days ago, my PC shut itself down while I went to make a cup of coffee, and it wouldn’t reboot. I’m not exactly sure what happened but both the bios and the PSU were dead. To cut a long story short, I transferred the motherboard, processor, memory and various peripherals into an old case to determine any damage. The SSD, HDD and graphics card were still working but the rest wasn’t. After perusing Amazon and adding up the cost of replacement parts, I found it was more economical to buy a barebones PC from Palicomp. Hence I replaced my dead AMD Ryzen 5 3600 with Ryzen 7 5800X. The case is well designed to accommodate air flow and there is a substantial heatsink and fan for the processor incorporated in the build.
Fortunately, there were no major issues transferring the existing SSD and HDD into the new PC. The only minor issue I had was the PSU lacking an 8 pin PCIe power connector for the GPU. But there were several unused Molex power cables available, so I bought an adapter which arrived 24 hours later. The barebones PC came with 16GB RAM on a single DIMM which I retained, along with a DVD-RW drive, a GeForce GT 710 graphics card, a USB Bluetooth adaptor and USB Wifi adaptor. The latter 4 items were removed and have been added to my “spare parts” collection. I was inconvenienced for no more than 48 hours and as of now am back to my normal PC setup. However, this unforeseen upgrade has cost me £450 in total. It galls me somewhat that I’ll never know exactly what failed in my previous PC but such is the disposable nature of technology these days.
Before we begin, let me clearly state that this is not a comprehensive installation guide for installing Steam OS on your PC. Mainly because the variety of hardware that can be present in any PC makes each installation a somewhat bespoke affair. Hence I have decided to provide a list of bullet points of the various steps and issues I encountered during my installation, last week. Consider it advance warning of things you may encounter if you install this operating system. As ever, if this is something that you are intending to do, I would advise allowing yourself a suitable amount of time so you can accommodate any issues should they arise. It is entirely possible that this may be a two hour job for the technically literate running the most generic or commonplace hardware. However, I suspect that a lot of people undertaking this project will run into variations of the same problems that I encountered.
I am intrigued by the growth of the IndieWeb, owning your domain and static websites. I certainly agree with the notion of not relying on big corporations and I have an ongoing project to divest my dependency on software produced by major market players. However, although I own my own domain, my website is hosted by Squarespace. I’ve not really had any problems with them over the last 11 years and I would describe our business relationship as equitable. However, the monthly subscription price has increased over time and is likely to keep on doing so. It has crossed my mind as to whether there is a suitable alternative. However, if I were to migrate Contains Moderate Peril elsewhere I suspect it would be logistically complex and problematic.
I like learning new skills and starting projects. I regularly undertake such things with varying results. However, if they don’t work out that’s not a problem. You have to try something to see if you like it. I’ll add “within sensible parameters” as a caveat to the last statement. And it’s perfectly fine to discover that something isn’t for you. I like certain genres of video games, music, films and books. I am comfortable wearing certain types of clothes and not others. I’m picky about colours. I’ll even go so far as to say that I won’t drink out of any mug that’s just lying around. If I don’t like the joke, logo or overall aesthetic of it, I ain’t using it. However, I digress. Let’s get things back on track and talk about projects. This year I have wound down several websites and have decided not to move forward with making YouTube videos. I have focused my energy on improving my website and adding functionality. I am also trying to broaden the scope of my writing.
It’s funny how it is often the little things that become the proverbial straw that breaks the Camel’s back. I have been struggling for a while with the overall performance and functionality of my Windows 11 PC. The operating system is bloated, slow and buggy. It all too often commits that unpardonable sin of trying to do my thinking for me and enables some stupid feature by default. Despite having good specifications, my PC takes too long to boot up for my liking and is becoming too much of a wild card with regard to whether it will co-operate or not when I try and undertake a simple task. As someone who is very particular in their PC habits, IE I see my PC as a tool that I use on the terms that suit me. Hence, I find the faux enthusiasm that accompanies each uncalled for “improvement” that results in me losing agency, singularly antagonising. Then a minor issue arose recently that escalated into a thorn in my flesh and I decided that it was time that something must be done.
This is a post about the power of nostalgia and how sometimes, interacting with something from your past, be it physically or mentally, can produce a very strong and tangible emotional reaction. In some instances, this can be the result of something that you have specifically set out to do. On other occasions you can wander into a sense of nostalgia purely by chance. Today I experienced a very strong sense of nostalgia while watching a YouTube video and then again when I sought to replicate what I had seen. The video showed someone installing Windows 95 on to an old 486 PC from that era. The Window’s start up sound really touched a nerve (but in a good way) and then when the guy in the video launched Space Cadet 3D Pinball, a game that shipped with the operating system, I felt a strong compulsion to track down a copy and install the game myself, thus revisiting something that was an integral part of my life in 1995.
For the last few months I have being using Google Gemini. I subscribed so I could access a wider spectrum of services and evaluate it effectively. I also wanted to dispel some of the hysteria that accompanies any conversation about Large Language Models and Artificial Intelligence. The results were initially interesting and Google Gemini proved useful when researching material for blog posts. It is good at providing summaries about well documented subjects. I wrote a post about food banks recently and it distilled a lot of data into a manageable amount, which was ideal for my article. Google Gemini has also produced some visual basic scripting and simple batch files that have allowed me to automate processes on my PC. Such as changing the default monitor, or screen resolution at the click of an icon. However, I found this AI struggled with in-depth software troubleshooting and that its ability to create images varies greatly depending on the subject.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Yesterday we changed internet service providers. We moved from EE (formerly BT) to Plusnet. The transition went surprisingly well, mainly due to the existing infrastructure remaining the same. We’ve had fibre to the premises (FTTP) since 2022 so this was essentially an administrative change. The previous ISP terminated their service at 1:30 AM in the morning, while I was playing Star Trek Online. By 6:30 AM I received a message from Plusnet that the new service was live. It took about an hour to configure the new Netgear Nighthawk RS100 router (I bought my own) and get all our household devices attached to the new network. The connection is running at exactly the same speed and stability as it had under the previous supplier. At present a 1Gbps connection is sufficient for our needs. The main factor that has driven this change is cost. We are currently paying £28 per month for internet access which is a competitive price in the UK.
In 1990 I was working at the DWP (Department for Work and Pensions). I had just taken the role of Computer Support Officer where I administered user access to the mainframe and provided first line support to staff using the terminals. That summer the office moved to a PC based network and the project was undertaken by the newly formed Siemens Nixdorf company. To cut a long story short I befriended one of the contract engineers and over the next 9 months he became an unofficial mentor to me. Technically he was only supposed to train me in the most basic of fashions but he liked the fact that I was always asking questions and effectively ended up schooling me in PC and server architecture, network administration and the associated protocols. For me this was the best way to learn. It was not a case of coming to grips with theory in a classroom environment. It was learning by doing and having direct and exclusive access to a source of knowledge and experience.
My Windows 11 PC is a cobbled together mess of upgrades, customisations and workarounds. It seems okay at first glance, mainly because my desktop is well organised and I don’t allow too many apps to start on boot up. But beneath this superficial veneer of efficiency and optimisation is a bloated mess. Every Windows update adds yet more spurious features which slows performance and tries to harvest your data. Windows is no longer a user friendly operating system that you buy and use without impediment. It is now a sprawling live service that actively gets in the way of your productivity so that it can make a buck off your inconvenience. There was a time when you could quickly learn its processes and foibles, so you could customise it into the tool you needed. Nowadays I have to continuously use third party tools to get Windows to do many of the things I want, or to access functionality that Microsoft has obtusely decided to restrict.
As the New Year is still young, I have embarked upon several new projects that I’ve been planning since Autumn last year. These undertakings have gone beyond the planning stage and are currently being implemented. The fun thing about the phrase “implemented” in this context is that it implies that it is by far the easiest and most straightforward part of the process. The initial brainstorming of ideas has been completed. A cogent and detailed plan has been written. The costing of materials and time required have been determined. These are the hard parts. All that remains is to “just do it”. It should be a piece of piss (a British phrase indicating that something is easy). It virtually “implements” itself. However, that is a load of bollocks. Because there is always scope for something to go wrong. It may well start as something minor and innocuous but it all too often ends in a “problem cascade”.
This time last year I made a decision to replace Microsoft Office or Office 365 as it is currently known. Mainly because I only use Outlook out of the entire suite of software. This project stalled because I couldn't easily import my existing email archive into Mozilla Thunderbird. Hence the status quo has been perpetuated. However, there is an ongoing cost associated with this software as well as some wider considerations about ethics and privacy which is why I have returned to this matter. Although this time I wish to replace not only Office 365 but all the other "production tools" I use to write and browse the internet. I have managed to make some progress towards this goal but it has been hard to adapt. Mainly because I had everything set up to my liking. Although alternatives are available, they're never exactly alike and require a lot of fine tuning to be deemed satisfactory.
Last summer I wrote a post about my experiences using various screen capture software. At the time I was using Bandicam which suited all my needs. I had configured the software to launch at Windows start-up and had a hotkey assigned to capture images from my primary monitor. Hence I could quickly grab a screenshot from my desktop or when playing a game. However, this changed in November 2025, when I bought two new monitors. Both of which supported HDR (High Dynamic Range). Although they provide superior picture quality, HDR has a knock-on effect on Bandicam. Screen capture images and video look over exposed. Hence I had to stop using the software and find an alternative. Fortunately the same company has been developing an alternative product with HDR support; Bandi Camera. So I swapped to this software. The screenshots were far better but the functionality of the app was lacking.
Our home has a 1 Gbps “fibre to the premises” internet connection. It has proven reliable since it was installed in June 2022. Our internet service provider EE (part of the BT group) are neither the best of worst suppliers. The monthly cost is not especially competitive and so we may be looking to move providers next Easter. However, that is a matter for the future. For the present there is a more immediate issue. Starting on Friday 21st November, our internet connection has started randomly dropping. Furthermore, both the Wi-Fi extender in the lounge and the wireless printer in my office have become disconnected from the network. It was as if their details had been erased from the router. I suspected that a recent firmware upgrade may be the culprit although EE denies it. However there are posts online from other customers with similar technical issues.
A couple of times a year, Mrs P asks me to copy onto her laptop, all the pictures that I’ve taken over recent months, as well as those that have been shared with us via WhatsApp. She then diligently whittles them down into a manageable amount which we then print off and put in our photo album. Yes we’re of the generation that still likes to print off hard copies of photos and from time to time look at them nostalgically. We have several albums with photographs in chronological order and numerous frames placed around the house, filled with pictures of family. The bulk of the photos are 4x6 inches (10x15 cm). We use an online photo printing service for the majority of our pictures and visit a local store with a self-service photographic department to print off specific pictures for bespoke frames. The original photos, now neatly organised, are backed up and archived.
I take a lot of screen captures of video games and Windows apps, usually for blog posts. I use both Bandicam and Windows Snipping Tool to do this and have set up various hotkeys to make the process easy. Of late, the screen captures that I’ve taken have all suffered from washed out colours, regardless what tool I used to take them. I checked to see if both these apps needed to be updated but they are running the latest versions. Hence I was initially stumped as to why this problem had started happening. After some thought, I deduced that the only new elements in my PC hardware were my two new monitors. Both of which support HDR. Google Gemini quickly informed me that this was a known issue and taking screen captures from an HDR enabled device resulted in an excessively bright image that looked over exposed.
I recently bought two new monitors and a stand for my PC tower case. Today I thought I’d take the opportunity to disconnect every peripheral, clear my desk and then after a thorough clean, reassemble everything ensuring good cable management. I even went so far as to buy a new power extension lead so I could reorganise where everything was plugged in and therefore be able to isolate specific hardware. It seemed such a simple, straightforward task on paper. The reality was much different. It took me over three hours to sort out, mainly due to the fact that I don’t “bend” so well these days. During this Herculean task, my watch kept on notifying me that my heart rate was “high”. However, I regularly took breaks and fortified myself with gin for medicinal reasons. I am pleased with the results of this task.
I use two monitors with my PC, as I find having the additional screen “real estate” invaluable when writing or playing games. Both monitors that I’ve been using up to now are somewhat old and they are not exactly the same size or resolution, although both are FHD. I have previously written about the problems I’ve had trying to get certain games and programs to display on specific monitors and the lengths I’ve had to go to to resolve this issue. To cut a long story short, I recently decided to replace both monitors with larger models with a higher resolution. Mainly because my eyesight is not what it used to be. I see best when working with a bright screen that can produce clear text. New monitors would also address my ongoing screen output problem. Hence, I set myself a reasonable budget and began researching appropriate replacements.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
It may be a case of preaching to the Choir but dust contamination in your PC causes overheating, decreased performance, and potential hardware failure. This mainly occurs due to dust restricting airflow, impeding components such as heat sinks and creating short circuits from conductive particles. Fluff builds up and restricts cooling fans, forcing them to work harder. Heat build can lead to issues like system crashes, lagging, and even permanent damage to the motherboard and CPU. Over time, it can shorten the lifespan of the computer and in severe cases, poses a fire hazard. When I used to work in IT contracting, I used to see the effects of dust contamination all the time. PC placed on carpet tiles or on top of desks and surrounded by other objects. I remember one PC replacement project I was working on where we found an old PC with a dead mouse in it. It was desiccated by the heat.
Usually I don’t have a problem with internet access when Mrs P and I are travelling. My phone data plan is sufficient for Google Maps and social media usage. Once we reach our hotel, it’s just a question of connecting to the free Wi-Fi or if need be, buying upgraded access. It’s seldom that expensive. When I went on holiday to Croatia this summer, I bought a bespoke data plan before arriving that granted me extra internet access. Our hotel in Makarska also had very robust internet access. Hence, regardless of being out and about or by the pool, I never had any issues getting online. The ubiquity of internet access means we often take it for granted. I seldom go to places in the UK or abroad that don’t have advanced IT infrastructure. Until this week.
Back in January, I was very pleased because I had finally found some open source software, DisplayMagician, which allowed me to quickly and easily alter my display profile and run specific games and applications on my second monitor. Prior to this I would find that some programs just wouldn’t stay put, once they were dragged or otherwise cajoled to display on the monitor of my choice. They would continuously snap back to the primary display, regardless of my actions. DisplayMagician solved this issue and did so with aplomb. Or it did, until last weekend when I upgraded my PC from Windows 10 to 11. Then it stopped working. I therefore did some digging online and it became apparent that this is a known issue that is currently being addressed by its creator, Terry McDonald.
As part of our increasing dependency upon software, we have also grown accustomed to its associated foibles, especially the negative ones. Today, I upgraded my blog from Squarespace 7.0 to 7.1 and my PC operating system from Windows 10 to 11. I started early in the morning and ensured that all my personal data was backed up. My default expectation was that both processes would go wrong in some way, shape or form. Let’s take a moment to consider this mindset, which is born out of experience. It is now taken as read that whatever you upgrade, be it an app on your phone or a program on your PC, that it’s going to be problematic. It won’t be a seamless transition and you’ll end up having to do some sort of troubleshooting. Despite our lives becoming more dependent on such software, the quality of these products seems to be deteriorating. What a sorry state of affairs.
The ability to take a screen capture of a video game that you’re playing, or an open application or browser tab, is just something we take for granted. Windows 10/11 have a built-in tool called Snip & Sketch that is simple to use. Most of the games that I play have a specific hotkey for taking screenshots and a default directory to store them. Similarly, the latest builds of Windows also include the Xbox Game Bar software, which allows you to capture video from any application that you’re running on your PC. You can then edit via Clipchamp which is the successor to the old Windows Movie Maker. I believe the macOS comes with comparable default software. The absence of such apps today would be noticeable. However, there was a time when such things were not considered standard features.
30 years ago, in early 1995, I bought my first PC, a second hand Compaq Prolinea 4/33. It had an Intel 486 DX processor, 340MB HDD, 4MB RAM, 3½-inch floppy disk drive and a 14-inch monitor with a screen resolution of 1024 x 768. It ran Windows 3.11 installed via MS-DOS 6.22. It didn’t come with a soundcard or a CD-ROM drive. I believe I paid around £750 or so at the time, which was approximately half its original retail price. This model was 2 or 3 years old when I bought it. However, at this time, PC specifications did not change as quickly as they do these days. Hence, this was a good starting point for someone new to computing. I subsequently upgraded the processor to a 486 DX2, increased the RAM to 16MB and installed a Creative Labs Sound Blaster AWE32 soundcard and CD-ROM drive.
Three months ago, I wrote a blog post regarding how I wasn’t going to replace my phone because I was pretty much done with the endless treadmill that is “upgrade culture”. At the time my Google Pixel 6 was three years old but continued to serve all my smartphone needs. So I signed up for a new “SIM only” contract with Vodafone and went about my business, feeling somewhat pleased with myself. However, “needs must when the devil vomits into your kettle”, to quote Blackadder. I recently noticed that the screen on my phone was coming away from the main enclosure. There was a distinct curve along the right hand edge, as if there was something inside the phone applying pressure outwards. Sadly, that is precisely what was happening. I searched online to see if this was a known issue and was subsequently introduced to the problem known as battery bulge.
I had a novel experience (at least for me) this morning. I went to the cashpoint (that’s an ATM for those outside the UK) at my local supermarket, only to find it out of service. I had an imminent haircut appointment and no cash to pay my barber, who doesn’t take card payments. Fortunately, the supermarket did “cashback” so I bought a loaf of bread and some milk, paid £23 for them and was given £20 in cash. It’s a useful facility that I have never used until today. Usually I just make sure that I have a float of cash available but today the cashpoint being unavailable threw a spanner in the works. If the store did not do “cashback” then I would have had to reschedule my haircut. This minor hiccup got me thinking about our dependence on technology in our daily lives. A point that was further brought home, as my barber told me he had recently visited Spain and was affected by the national power outage.
I last bought a new phone in March 2022. At the time I decided to move away from Samsung after a decade of brand loyalty and try the Google Pixel 6. Let it suffice to say that I have found this handset to be most satisfactory. I like the size. It fits into the front pocket of my jeans. Its overall performance is very good and it has no issue running any of the apps that I regularly use. Subsequent software updates have improved some aspects of the camera, which initially had a poor zoom. Overall the good points of the Google Pixel 6 outweigh its flaws. Hence despite being 3 years old I am happy to keep using it. I have looked at what the subsequent iterations of the Google Pixel have to offer and I really don’t see any significant improvements or benefits. So despite being offered a handset upgrade by Vodafone, I have decided against one.
Housework and Chores
I was going to start this blog post by saying that, just like death and taxes, housework and chores are something we all have in common. But I have decided to withdraw that statement having been reminded of some houses I’ve visited during the course of my career. Also Twitch can sometimes reveal all and frequently provides a fascinating, if unknowing window into other people’s homes. Hence it is patently obvious that some folk are indifferent to the concept of housekeeping, basic hygiene and human decency. So instead I shall say that for many of us, housework and chores are yet another set of obstacles that stand between us and our leisure time. Something that has to be addressed, more often than not, out of necessity rather than a willing desire.
Doing housework is just like this
I was going to start this blog post by saying that, just like death and taxes, housework and chores are something we all have in common. But I have decided to withdraw that statement having been reminded of some houses I’ve visited during the course of my career. Also Twitch can sometimes reveal all and frequently provides a fascinating, if unknowing window into other people’s homes. Hence it is patently obvious that some folk are indifferent to the concept of housekeeping, basic hygiene and human decency. So instead I shall say that for many of us, housework and chores are yet another set of obstacles that stand between us and our leisure time. Something that has to be addressed, more often than not, out of necessity rather than a willing desire.
Homes get dirty and messy by dint of people living in them. To what degree depends on the numbers of individuals, where they live and how messy or tidy they respectively are. Children and pets compound the matter. The former being akin to a biblical plague of locusts. Therefore, the housework that I and Mrs P face, living in our bungalow is not the same as a family with two or three children and a pet. However, some things are universal. We all have to wash and dry clothes, use the vacuum cleaner, clean work surfaces, mop the bathroom floor, bleach the toilet, empty bins and take out the rubbish. We tend to do general cleaning once a week and then every month do a far more comprehensive clean. Both Mrs P and I have a similar outlook regarding these things so tend to work well as a team, when tackling such tasks. We are not messy people and if something isn’t being used it gets put away.
I am a big fan of labour saving devices that genuinely make life easier. I feel the same way about my dishwasher that Americans do about their “right to bear arms”. For me the notion of hand washing a greasy metal tray that has had a leg of lamb roasting in it for several hours is hell on earth. Dishwashers do such tasks far more efficiently than I ever could and effortlessly make everything appear shiny and new. Loading and unloading a dishwasher is a far more straightforward task than individually washing items, rinsing them and then drying them. It also doesn’t give you dishpan hands. Mind you there are also a lot of alleged labour saving devices that do nothing of the sort. Perhaps the universal white elephant of kitchen appliances is the sandwich toaster. A great concept for making hot snacks that in reality is a weapons grade delivery platform for third degree burns. The subsequent cleaning of the hot plates after use is a bane.
In recent years there has been a cultural shift that has seen housework and chores become a means of therapy in certain quarters. Cleaning, organising and decluttering are hailed as acts of catharsism and take on a more metaphorical meaning. If that works for you, so be it. Reality television has certainly discovered that there is a rich vein of material to be mined with regard to people who have unkempt homes or a penchant for hoarding things. As for me and Mrs P, we consider housework to be nothing more than a functional act and we don’t think that we live in a dung heap that merits scrutiny by TV celebrities. So in the meantime, we soldier on doing the various chores in our own way. However, age and health are an increasing factor and so ironing, for example, is now being relegated to only essential items. I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up hiring cleaners at some point. We already pay for a gardener.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
One of the things I enjoy most about having my own blog is the fact I can write about the mundane and the trivial. Mainly because so much of life falls into this category. Life defining events are all fine and dandy and certainly lend themselves to philosophical musings that make fine blog posts. However, you can get just as much mileage out of those everyday things in life with less gravitas, that we all do. Such as buying new clothes, taking out the recycling and going to buy groceries. I have written about all of these in the past. However, today I wish to broach a subject that both fascinates me but also raises my blood pressure. I believe it to be a social marker and a clear indication of an individual’s personal psychology. Yes, I’m talking about packing your groceries at the supermarket and the various rituals and social etiquette associated with it.
“Managed decline” is a phrase that refers to the processes associated with the end of a specific lifecycle, with the goal of minimizing costs or other forms of loss. The concept originated in business where it referred to the management of companies and industries. More recently it is used in wider contexts. The concept gained prominence with regard to urban policy, particularly in the UK during the eighties when several major cities suffered economic and political collapse. Of late, the term has been applied to the UK, encompassing a systematic weakening of the economy, social structures, and cultural values, as well as its global political and diplomatic force. In each case, managed decline involves making strategic choices about resource allocation and accepting the consequences of those decisions. It is a complex issue with ethical and practical considerations, often sparking debate about the best way to address decline and reverse the process.
Loneliness
I was consulting my list of blog topics, when I spotted the subject of loneliness among the various talking points I’ve collated. “Hah”, I thought. “That will do”, hoping to quickly write four or more paragraphs off the top of my head. However, during the course of some lightning research I discovered the following website, Campaign to End Loneliness and realised that this may not be a subject one can easily extemporise about without being too general or indeed, insensitive. Loneliness exists on a spectrum and is highly subjective. Some of the examples cited by Campaign to End Loneliness, may well sound quite trivial while others are truly heart breaking. All of which highlights, like so many things in life, that the subject is nuanced, subjective and one needs to avoid generalisation. Which raises the point, what can I contribute to such a discussion? My own experiences.
Loneliness
I was consulting my list of blog topics, when I spotted the subject of loneliness among the various talking points I’ve collated. “Hah”, I thought. “That will do”, hoping to quickly write four or more paragraphs off the top of my head. However, during the course of some lightning research I discovered the following website, Campaign to End Loneliness and realised that this may not be a subject one can easily extemporise about without being too general or indeed, insensitive. Loneliness exists on a spectrum and is highly subjective. Some of the examples cited by Campaign to End Loneliness, may well sound quite trivial while others are truly heart breaking. All of which highlights, like so many things in life, that the subject is nuanced, subjective and one needs to avoid generalisation. Which raises the point, what can I contribute to such a discussion? My own experiences.
When I was a teenager, I had a wide circle of friends. I found that being humorous was an easy means to ensure that I was socially engaged. However, as I grew older and wiser, I discovered and began to enjoy the merit of more serious friendships. All too often in life, we find that our social activities are driven by the practical realities of our lives. Hence you become friends with people that you work with, or with other parents or with the family of your partner. Such friendships are subject to change and it is not unusual to find yourself at a point in life where your social circle has shrunk. The matter is compounded by the fact that men are especially poor at maintaining friendships in later life, especially once they’re in a relationship. Hence I now find myself with a reduced social circle. This is not necessarily a complaint but undoubtedly it is a fact.
Shared interests
Now I live with Mrs P who I have known since 1990. We get on well and have shared interests. But we do not live in each other's pockets to coin a phrase and pursue other hobbies and pastimes outside of those that we both enjoy. No matter how much we love and respect our respective partners, most people cannot get by exclusively with one person’s company. This is where friends meet our other needs and if they are absent, they are sorely missed. I have several long term friends but not all of them live immediately to hand. We meet up every quarter and when we do, simply pick up where we left off. But in day-to-day life, I have found that I speak to less and less people. I am not much on small talk and lots of people don’t care for weighty philosophical talking points as an opening gambit when striking up a casual conversation.
I used to find that the internet was a great way of filling this social and conversational gap. Blogging and becoming part of a community certainly has many social aspects to it. When I started podcasting, that meant maintaining a weekly recording schedule and having regular conversations about the subjects I was passionate about with my co-host Brian and guests. I felt engaged and very content. But nothing lasts forever and despite numerous attempts to kickstart the habit, the podcasting community that we belonged to has come to an end. I still enjoy social media and use Twitter but that too has become fragmented. Many of the people I followed have moved to Mastodon, which doesn’t have the same reach. Another factor is that many friends I have met online have chosen to step away from online engagement, as it comes with as many negative connotations as it does positive.
My local pub
So I find myself at the age of 55 feeling at times somewhat lonely. It isn’t a constant feeling and it is certainly not debilitating. However, I do feel there are gaps in my social interactions and it feels at times quite tangible. I profoundly miss my father who was excellent company and a knowledgeable man. He had a knack of hoarding data and could often surprise you with the things that he knew about. He also wasn’t afraid of modernity and would like to know about new technology and social trends. I also occasionally miss the cut and thrust of the work environment. But overall it is just the lack of intelligent company. All too often I’ll read something that I find intriguing and worthy of comment, only to realise that there’s no one around to share the anecdote with. Similarly, if I wanted to nip down the pub and just talk bollocks over a beer, that is something that has to be prearranged.
Naturally, I don’t compare my nominal experiences of loneliness with those who live alone and have no friends or human contact. The relative nature of loneliness per se, means you shouldn’t really try and set one person’s experience against another. What may seem minor to you may be crippling to another. Plus, being a retired man, I certainly have the means to improve my situation. If I want company, to stop feeling removed or isolated, then I need to seek out appropriate social groups. It’s not as if there’s a shortage of such things these days. Problems don’t put themselves right and you sometimes have to step outside of your comfort or indolence zone. Who knows, trying to resolve this matter itself may well be worthy of a blog post. Perhaps such a foray into socialising will remedy the issue or prove that friendships are harder to find and keep these days. Time will tell.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
One of the things I enjoy most about having my own blog is the fact I can write about the mundane and the trivial. Mainly because so much of life falls into this category. Life defining events are all fine and dandy and certainly lend themselves to philosophical musings that make fine blog posts. However, you can get just as much mileage out of those everyday things in life with less gravitas, that we all do. Such as buying new clothes, taking out the recycling and going to buy groceries. I have written about all of these in the past. However, today I wish to broach a subject that both fascinates me but also raises my blood pressure. I believe it to be a social marker and a clear indication of an individual’s personal psychology. Yes, I’m talking about packing your groceries at the supermarket and the various rituals and social etiquette associated with it.
“Managed decline” is a phrase that refers to the processes associated with the end of a specific lifecycle, with the goal of minimizing costs or other forms of loss. The concept originated in business where it referred to the management of companies and industries. More recently it is used in wider contexts. The concept gained prominence with regard to urban policy, particularly in the UK during the eighties when several major cities suffered economic and political collapse. Of late, the term has been applied to the UK, encompassing a systematic weakening of the economy, social structures, and cultural values, as well as its global political and diplomatic force. In each case, managed decline involves making strategic choices about resource allocation and accepting the consequences of those decisions. It is a complex issue with ethical and practical considerations, often sparking debate about the best way to address decline and reverse the process.
Falling Out Over Politics
For those who live outside of the UK, let me categorically state that Brexit has broken British politics. Prior to 2016, national politics still broadly functioned along traditional party political lines, with income and class substantially determining voter allegiance. The big three cities (London, Birmingham and Liverpool) maintained their liberal dispositions and Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales were dominated by their regional politics. Brexit changed all this creating fault lines that fell outside of the existing political status quo. Opinions differed based upon where you lived, how politically literate you were and even education. Your party political allegiance no longer indicated what stance you took on this matter. Furthermore, the discourse around this complex subject was quickly debased into a bipartisan culture war that was toxic and dangerous.
“You cannot reason a person out of a position he did not reason himself into in the first place.” Jonathan Swift
For those who live outside of the UK, let me categorically state that Brexit has broken British politics. Prior to 2016, national politics still broadly functioned along traditional party political lines, with income and class substantially determining voter allegiance. The big three cities (London, Birmingham and Liverpool) maintained their liberal dispositions and Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales were dominated by their regional politics. Brexit changed all this creating fault lines that fell outside of the existing political status quo. Opinions differed based upon where you lived, how politically literate you were and even education. Your party political allegiance no longer indicated what stance you took on this matter. Furthermore, the discourse around this complex subject was quickly debased into a bipartisan culture war that was toxic and dangerous.
Seven years on, party politics are now fractured by factionalism and public discourse per se has taken on a more emotive and contentious tone. Brexit has divided not only politics but family and friends. The nature of the debate both in parliament and the national media has been far from convivial and has shown that many ideas and concepts that many thought were universally embraced, are in fact not. The COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent lockdown, the economic impact of the war in Ukraine and the rise of social media culture has further exacerbated political and societal divides. So I find it somewhat risible when I read such naive comments as “it’s amazing that people fall out over political opinions”, as I did on a national news website recently. The days of politely agreeing to disagree are long gone as UK politics becomes more like that of the US.
The generic nature of the two main UK political parties
To many observers outside of the UK, for decades our national politics has been a bland and somewhat predictable fight that took place in the centre ground. Extremes on both sides of the political divide have been confined to the wings. For anyone over a certain income, politics could be ignored because it did not appear to directly impact upon your life. It may well be a different matter for those on low incomes or marginalised minorities but as such groups did not have a substantive voice in political terms, the perception of a broad status quo that simply changed its custodian every 4 years, has endured. I have spoken many times to European friends who have struggled to discern any major political difference between the modern Conservative and Labour parties.
Hence during these times, if you differed with your friends, family or colleagues over fiscal policy, education or national infrastructure you could easily shrug it off. Even those invested in the distinct political ideology of a particular party tended to treat it more as an academic debate, rather than a religious credo. Obviously there would be some individuals who were diametrically opposed to others due to hardline political views but this was the exception and not the rule. Ultimately, any problems arising from political policy were the governments fault and not ours. All we have to do is turn up and vote every so many years and then complain during the intervening period. The Brexit referendum changed that due to its inherent nature and consequences. A referendum is a very direct form of politics which bypasses governmental policy and responsibility. The consequences therefore lie directly with the electorate, whether or not they understand and recognise this.
The realities of Brexit
As a result of the 2016 referendum the UK has left the European Union and there have been direct economic, sociopolitical and practical consequences, irrespective of one’s opinion of the rectitude of that decision. Businesses have subsequently closed, jobs have been lost and migrant employees have left the UK resulting in a labour shortage. The economy is stagnating and the cost of living is going up. Travelling to Europe has become more complex and costly. The consequences of Brexit are tangible and we all feel them. Hence it does not come as any surprise that friends, family and colleagues will come into conflict over this. Unlike a general election where the actions of the government can be blamed on its party membership that set policy, the ramifications of Brexit can be attributed to those who directly voted for it.
The UK is currently suffering from a stagnating economy, high inflation and labour shortages. Problems that have been exacerbated by nearly thirteen years of government by the same political party. Although the next election is not due until 2024, the Conservative Party are suffering greatly in the polls. The majority of the electorate attribute a lot of the aforementioned woes to their policies. However, due to the nature of the First Past the Post electoral system there is a chance that a targeted campaign of fear mongering and misinformation in the right marginal constituencies may well see them return to office. Despite having an electorate of 46.5 million, ultimately it is approximately 350,000 voters in swing seats that determine the outcome of UK General Elections. Such a clear disparity in the importance of an individual vote, makes the outcome of an election profoundly personal.
UK Doctors Demonstrating for increased pay
Some political journalists have suggested that politics may well “settle down” and return to being “remote” when the UK becomes economically stable once again. However, I think those days are gone, now that politics has embraced the culture wars and detached itself from facts, data, expertise and reasoned argument. The notion of doing what is collectively the best for all has been replaced with attacking and punishing groups that have been successfully “othered”. However, a growing part of the electorate have realised this, finding themselves on the wrong side of the dividing line. This shift in perception renders the voting habits of others highly personal. If your neighbour openly admits to voting for a party that subsequently limits your rights, taxes you further, or seeks to criminalise your actions then they are complicit in such outcomes.
I therefore suspect that falling out over politics is going to increase in the next decade. Politics in the UK is becoming more populist and less based in reality. Extreme policies are harmful to people and have real world consequences. Hence voting for such things is not something one can just shrug off. You will be judged by your actions. Such a sociopolitical climate will just further entrench tribalism. Your political views and affiliations will increasingly impact upon the decisions you make in life and shape your social circle, where you work and how you’re perceived by others. The notion of “I don’t date (insert political party here)” being part of your biography on a dating app, will no longer be some niche concept. It may even become a standard. If living in such a world worries you, then we need to make politics less partisan and return to agreeing to disagree. Sadly, I suspect that it is too late to put that particular genie back into the bottle.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Yesterday afternoon, Nigel Farage the Member of Parliament for Clacton and leader of the Reform Party, held a press conference in which he declared that he would be resigning his seat and thus triggering a by-election. He cited the following list of grievances that have led to him making this decision. That the Parliamentary standards investigations were being politicised, the media and other parties were conducting a coordinated campaign against him and that he had endured years of threats and physical attacks. He further asserted that his family’s privacy and safety had been breached as well. He finished by alleging that the political system was repeatedly changing rules to obstruct Reform and that he was the most attacked politician in the UK. Rather than be judged by the legacy media and the “establishment”, he would rather put the issue of his political integrity to the electorate of Clacton. He even offered to pay for the cost of the by-election.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
Andy Burnham successfully won the Makerfield by-election yesterday, returning him to the House of Commons as a member of Parliament after holding the position of Mayor of Manchester for the past nine years. Prior to this, Burnham was Labour MP for Leigh from 2001 and 2017. He served in both the Tony Blair and Gordon Brown administrations and has held such senior governmental posts as Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport and Secretary of State for Health. His return to Parliamentary politics is likely to result in a leadership challenge to incumbent Prime Minister Keir Starmer. When speaking after winning yesterday’s by-election Burnham spoke of “a final chance for change” the current trajectory of the present Labour Government. However, I don’t wish to focus on any of this at present. I am far more interested in the above picture, taken as the results were announced and what it says about UK politics.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
Under the First Past the Post electoral system, the candidate(s) receiving the highest number of votes in each constituency are elected. This system is used in the UK during general elections and in some local elections, such as those recently conducted in England. An alternative approach is the system of proportional representation, which aims to allocate seats in a manner that reflects the popularity of various parties. Both the Scottish Parliament and the Senedd in Wales employ systems of Proportional Representation. Historically, first-past-the-post has been seen as advantageous for the Conservative and Labour parties. It poses challenges for smaller parties whose votes are distributed evenly across different regions, making it difficult for them to secure seats. This dynamic effectively prevents potential competitors to the Conservatives and Labour from succeeding electorally. Consequently, due to this situation, voters may hesitate to support these smaller parties from the outset.
There are local elections being held across the UK today. Voters in Scotland and Wales will elect representatives to their respective national parliaments, while in England the voting is for local councils and regional mayors. These are the first major elections to be held in the UK since the 2024 General Election which saw the Conservative government of fourteen years, fall to the Labour Party. Midterm elections are often a litmus test for how the electorate think the national government are performing although local issues are also a major factor. The consensus among political journalists and commentators is that the incumbent government is polling extremely poorly and will subsequently face a backlash. In recent years the UK has seen a decline in traditional two party voting with Reform UK and the Greens gaining significant traction among the electorate. Hence today’s elections may well see both these parties make significant gains.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
“Managed decline” is a phrase that refers to the processes associated with the end of a specific lifecycle, with the goal of minimizing costs or other forms of loss. The concept originated in business where it referred to the management of companies and industries. More recently it is used in wider contexts. The concept gained prominence with regard to urban policy, particularly in the UK during the eighties when several major cities suffered economic and political collapse. Of late, the term has been applied to the UK, encompassing a systematic weakening of the economy, social structures, and cultural values, as well as its global political and diplomatic force. In each case, managed decline involves making strategic choices about resource allocation and accepting the consequences of those decisions. It is a complex issue with ethical and practical considerations, often sparking debate about the best way to address decline and reverse the process.
I still maintain a legacy presence on Twitter/X and I follow my local MP (member of Parliament) Louie French. It’s not something I especially relish as I am not a supporter of the Conservative party (or any other) and I did not vote for him in the last election. I just like to know what he is up to as he is the political representative for our constituency. As the Conservatives are out of power at present, to all intent and purposes, Mr French is a backbench MP although he has a minor position as Shadow Parliamentary Undersecretary (Culture, Media and Sport). However, with that being said he is hardly a key member of the shadow cabinet. Hence he focuses on constituency work and that which is generated by his shadow posting. He will also lend his voice, when required, to any major policy decision or statement made by his party.
Sunday 6th April is the start of a new financial year, here in the UK. According to data from numerous financial and economic institutions, an estimated million plus households will be facing annual increases of £400 to £500 as the proverbial “cost of living” goes up. Everything from Council Tax to Mobile and Broadband costs are being increased. Future cost hikes are expected in our energy and water utilities. As bills start going up across the country today, average wages remain stagnant. Middle-income and poorer households have been worst hit by this wage related issue. Hence the tabloid press have labelled the start of the new financial year as “Awful April”. Hyperbole aside, this is a very real issue which due to its complex, global causes, doesn’t have a quick fix solution.
I consider myself to be a grounded, rational individual. I am not excessively emotional. I like facts, data and reason as opposed to hyperbole, rhetoric and bluster. That being said, I am aware that the world is an imperfect place. Opinions are often not based upon empirical fact but personal perspective. Hence many people experience reality differently to me. They are driven by their feelings and other factors. However, despite these differences in philosophy, for most of my life the world has remained functional and over time slowly improved in subtle ways. Deference to expertise, a sense of community and basic pragmatism meant that people broadly pulled in the same direction. Of course there has always been dissent but it has been within a stable system. However, of late I feel that this era is now finally over. Things are no longer stable. We live in an uncertain world.
Newspapers were an integral part of UK culture in the seventies. During the week, they were delivered prior to going to work, so you would peruse them over breakfast. Alternatively you would buy one en route to your place of employment and read it on the bus or train. In a world before 24 hour, rolling news, they were the primary means of keeping the public abreast of events and as such, enjoyed a substantial audience. On occasions a newspaper story could make or break a political career or launch a crusading campaign to address a social ill. Newspapers were a force to be reckoned with and therefore a significant part of the socio-political landscape. However, due to a strong union presence within the workforce, the UKs newspapers often lagged behind other industries with regard to the technology.
The First Past the Post (FPTP) electoral system used in the United Kingdom, as well as in several other countries such as the US and India, has both advantages and disadvantages. However, despite being a simple and straightforward system it has been abandoned by many democracies in favour of more proportional and equitable methods. The primary criticism against FPTP is that it allows a minority of the electorate to return a majority government. Since 1935, there have been majority governments 90% of the time, but not one of them had the support of a majority of voters. At present, the current UK government has a majority of seats with just 43.6% of the votes. In the 2019 election they gained an extra 48 seats despite an increase of only 1.2% of the vote share.
Politicians have a distinct way of talking when being interviewed or giving a press conference. It is often characterised by a strategic use of language, centred around rhetorical devices, persuasion techniques and a careful framing of messages. Direct answers to questions are usually avoided, with tangential responses being preferred. Opinions and specific perspectives are frequently presented as facts. There is also a propensity to focus on “problems” and apportioning blame, rather than “solutions”. It’s important to note that the use of language in politics is a complex and dynamic process influenced by various factors, including cultural context, media dynamics, and the evolving political landscape. Different politicians may employ different communication strategies based on their individual styles and objectives. Here are some key aspects of how politicians use language:
The United Kingdom is one of the few democratic countries in the world that does not have a single, written constitution. Others include Canada, New Zealand and Israel. To date, its constitution is a combination of written and unwritten sources, including statutes, common law, conventions and somewhat esoterically, royal prerogatives. The reason for this is predominantly historical. Since 1688, Britain has not experienced a revolution or regime change, which often leads to a constitutional initiative, such as the American or the French Revolution. Britain’s constitution has evolved slowly over time under relative stability and as such, it has never been deemed necessary to list the fundamental laws and principles of the country's political system.
On Friday 15th September the former actor and comedian turned internet social commentator, Russell Brand, released a video on his YouTube channel addressing allegations about his personal life, ahead of a forthcoming UK current affairs documentary. Brand vehemently denied what he described as “very serious criminal allegations”. The following day Channel Four broadcast “Russell Brand: In Plain Sight”. During the course of the program Brand was accused by one woman of rape and by three others of sexual assaults, and emotional abuse between 2006 and 2013. During the course of the week, further claims have been made against him and that his “predatory” behaviour was an open secret within the TV industry. Furthermore, women would warn each other in advance if they had any dealing with him. All of which has played out against a mixture of broadsheet analysis, tabloid hyperbole, performative politics and internet bluster.
For those who live outside of the UK, let me categorically state that Brexit has broken British politics. Prior to 2016, national politics still broadly functioned along traditional party political lines, with income and class substantially determining voter allegiance. The big three cities (London, Birmingham and Liverpool) maintained their liberal dispositions and Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales were dominated by their regional politics. Brexit changed all this creating fault lines that fell outside of the existing political status quo. Opinions differed based upon where you lived, how politically literate you were and even education. Your party political allegiance no longer indicated what stance you took on this matter. Furthermore, the discourse around this complex subject was quickly debased into a bipartisan culture war that was toxic and dangerous.
Okay, keep up as there’s a lot of ground to cover. The UK government is currently suffering in the opinion polls and after 13 years in office, is facing potential oblivion at the next general election. In an attempt to shore up support among the party faithful, the Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, is currently pursuing a hardline with regard to immigration. According to Ipsos, as a political issue about 29% of the electorate consider immigration to be a major problem. The remainder either think current levels are manageable or have no substantive view on the matter. However, as a “culture war” issue that can be weaponized by the tabloid press, which often has direct links to the Conservative Party in the UK, immigration is a hill to die upon. Hence you will find a lot of rhetoric that is anti-immigration and any contrary view is tarred with trite pejorative terms such as “lefty”, “liberal” and “woke”.
Last April, the Election Act 2022 became law within the UK. The Act introduced a requirement for all those voting in-person to produce photo identification when attending a polling station. This is the first time that such an ID has been required. Prior to this, voters could either bring their polling card to verify their identity at the polling station, or confirm their registered address from the electoral roll with staff. Now a UK driving licence or passport are considered the primary means of identity. A list of additional photo identification that has been deemed acceptable, is available on the UK government website. For those members of the electorate who do not have any of the qualifying ID, there is a Voter Authority Certificate available, which can be applied for online. This photo ID is linked to the applicants National Insurance Number. For further impartial information on photo ID and registering to vote, visit the The Electoral Commission website.
I am writing this post from the perspective of a UK citizen, but the sentiments expressed are applicable to anyone who lives in a country where you have democratically elected local political representation. IE someone who is supposed to advocate on behalf of your community or for you personally as the duly elected political representative. Here in the UK, the country is divided into 650 constituencies, each returning one Member of Parliament. Irrespective of whether you voted for your MP or whether you support the political party that they belong to, they are obliged to represent you and advocate on your behalf, if you request it. Such is the relationship in principle between constituents and MPs in the UK. It is important to be aware that your local MP is not a delegate whose sole purpose is to represent majority constituency views. Under the UK political system, an MP makes decisions on behalf of constituents and can take a position counter to local opinion, if they feel that is in the best interest of the constituency.
It is difficult to write about the state of UK politics with any degree of intellectual rigour when the entire situation has become so utterly farcical. My initial reaction to the recent departure of Liz Truss after just 45 days in office, was to laugh with abject scorn and derision. She was destined to fail due to utter lack of ability. However, there is still the outstanding matter of the country lacking a credible and functional government to address inflation, the cost of living crisis and resolve all the issues stemming from Brexit. There are problematic national and international events taking place that need addressing. A united, pragmatic and empathetic government is required to solve both these short term and long term needs. Sadly, the governing party is riven with opposing factions and there is no commonly held policy or underlying ideology. The PM may well have changed but the underlying flaws remain.
Conservative Party has been in government in the UK since 2010. During that time there have been three Prime Ministers. Today we moved onto the fourth. After Boris Johnson resigned on 7th July, the nation has had to endure a tedious two month process in which the Conservative Party elects a new leader. That person then becomes the PM by default. Many readers unfamiliar with the UK political system may be surprised that a change of leader has not led to a General Election. That is because the Conservative Party still holds a parliamentary majority of 71 elected Members of Parliament. Hence it is still constitutionally quite able to govern, despite Boris Johnson being forced from office. Therefore party members vote for a new party leader who gets the top job by default. Remember that in the UK, the Prime Minister is not the head of state and does not have the executive powers of a President.
I try to keep my thoughts on political matters to a minimum here at Contains Moderate Peril, mainly because UK politics and the current state of discourse associated with it has become an absolute shit show in recent years. Brexit broke traditional politics and has made matters far more tribal and partisan. The two main parties have declined from having clear ideologies, identities and manifestos, to becoming either a lobby group for the specific demographic group that supports them, or a conflicted, divided and schizoid shadow of its former self. I’ll let you work out which is which. Politics is no longer about governing a nation for the benefit of all its citizens. Now you simply pick a side and join the ongoing culture war against everyone and everything else. This rotten system produces rotten leaders. Hence, when Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson became Prime Minister in December 2019, it was clear that the nation was taking a major risk on such a man. His failings as a politician and a person are a matter of public record for anyone who has the eyes to see them.
The title for this post is a quote from The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. I’ve used it as a verbal cue to try and give readers an overview of the point I’m striving to convey. Because I want to talk about modern life in western civilization, specifically its complexity and increasing uncertainty. If you’re extremely wealthy you can mitigate these two points but I’m working on the premise that most of the people who read Contains Moderate Peril are not. The blogging community, of which I am a participant, is a diverse group but from what I’ve observed it’s not populated by millionaires. In fact most of the people I know, both online and in person, are just holding down a job, trying to keep a roof over their head and pay the bills. Often they’re doing the job they do in default of anything else and they’re at the very least ambivalent towards it. The pandemic has also brought home how fragile so-called “normality” is. Modern politics are also volatile and life in general just doesn’t seem as certain as it was twenty years ago.
The Conservative Party successfully held onto their “safe seat” of Old Bexley and Sidcup in yesterday’s closely watched by-election. However their overall majority was reduced by more than half amid a very low voter turnout. Conservative councillor Louie French becomes the country’s newest MP after winning 11,189 votes, more than 50 per cent of those cast, in the seat previously held by the former cabinet minister James Brokenshire. Mr Brokenshire died in October from lung cancer aged 53. The closest challenger was Labour’s Daniel Francis, who secured 6,711 as the Tory majority fell from nearly 19,000 to 4,478, the equivalent of a vote share swing of 10 per cent to Labour. Turnout in the constituency was just 34%, down from the almost 70% who voted in the 2019 general election.
DMZ and "Pay to Win"
For those who are not familiar with this latest niche piece of “gaming outrage”, it regards the extraction shooter Warzone 2.0 DMZ, which is part of the Call of Duty franchise. When you enter the game (either solo or in a squad), you use gear that you have previously collected. A key part of the game is looting and upgrading your weapon, bullet proof vest (there are 3 tiers) and sundry support items. If you die, then you lose all the equipment you are currently carrying. With this in mind, Activision have recently added two purchasable gear bundles to the game store. One comes with a medium size backpack by default. The other comes with a 2 plate vest (tier 2) and two weapons that only have a 15 minute cooldown. This does offer a degree of convenience. Furthermore, the second bundle is tied to the Ghost operator skin, who within the game’s canon is an iconic figure. Hence there has been a great deal of debate over the rectitude of these bundles.
For those who are not familiar with this latest niche piece of “gaming outrage”, it regards the extraction shooter Warzone 2.0 DMZ, which is part of the Call of Duty franchise. When you enter the game (either solo or in a squad), you use gear that you have previously collected. A key part of the game is looting and upgrading your weapon, bullet proof vest (there are 3 tiers) and sundry support items. If you die, then you lose all the equipment you are currently carrying. With this in mind, Activision have recently added two purchasable gear bundles to the game store. One comes with a medium size backpack by default. The other comes with a 2 plate vest (tier 2) and two weapons that only have a 15 minute cooldown. This does offer a degree of convenience. Furthermore, the second bundle is tied to the Ghost operator skin, who within the game’s canon is an iconic figure. Hence there has been a great deal of debate over the rectitude of these bundles.
Like many multiplayer games, there is a broad spectrum of player skill in DMZ. If you are at one end, then these so-called “pay to win” bundles are not required. Skilled players will maintain multiple operator slots (you can have up to 5) with appropriate gear for a variety of tasks. If you’re at the other end or approaching the middle of the skill spectrum, then the 2 plate vest, 15 minute cooldown weapons and medium bag cosmetic skins offer a practical benefit. And that benefit is one of convenience. A player doesn’t start the game immediately feeling vulnerable and having to search for better gear. However, I seriously doubt that the benefits offered matter little to top tier players. In my experience high end players and those of lesser skill seldom cross paths. When I play DMZ I find myself grouped with players of commensurate skill to my own. IE Distinctly average.
Ultimately, I find that the arguments against these “pay to win” bundles are mainly ideological. Objections are usually made by players that consider the game to be primarily about skill, leaderboards, hierarchies and perceived status. The sort of gamers that see DMZ as competitive and treat it like a sport, with the assumption of associated rules and player etiquette. Although players who think this way are entitled to their opinion, they need to realise that not all the playerbase feel the same way. Many, myself included, consider online gaming a recreational service. I play for entertainment and fun. I also pay money for this service and therefore expect a degree of “quid pro quo”. That’s not to say I want frictionless gaming, but I don’t expect my fun to metaphorically be sacrificed on the altar of more skillful players’ philosophy.
I therefore fully expect Activision to continue to monetise the game in this fashion and to take it as far as they can before there is a genuine mutiny. In a perfect world there would be no “pay to win” and players would be far more appropriately segregated to ensure that they were provided with a more equitable gaming experience. But we live in an imperfect world, and developers always prefer the path of least resistance as opposed to doing something labour intensive. So it is pointless to expect anything so egalitarian as a removal of “pay to win” items.
Finally, it never ceases to amaze me how so many gamers temporarily suspend their default consumerism and libertarian outlook and expect a meritocratic and altruistic approach from the video game industry. An industry that in many ways is the embodiment of the worst excesses of modern capitalism. They will complain about fairness, morality and ethics in the video games they play righteous indignation. Something they fail to do in other aspects of their real lives on a daily basis. Say no to “pay to win” in Warzone 2.0 DMZ but fuck universal healthcare because that’s “socialism”. Such is the cognitive dissonance of Gamers (™).
Warzone added a new “casual mode” to its Battle Royale at the start of Season 4. This reduced the number of real players in-game and substituted them with AI bots. The ratio is approximately one fifth real players, four fifths bots. This new mode for Battle Royale solos, duos and quads was well received, especially among the mainstream players who are more focused on fun than progression. Veteran players who still wanted the challenge of playing against real players were free to continue playing the traditional BR modes. Hence all parties were pleased as they were both being catered for. However, and there is always a “however” when it comes to Call of Duty, the developers saw fit to remove the standard solo Battle Royale mode, leaving just the Battle Royale Casual mode with AI bots. Subsequently, a lot of players were perplexed and annoyed, as taking away choice is seldom good customer service. As a result of subsequent backlash, the mode was added back to the game mid-season.
When the Battle Royale Call of Duty: Warzone launched on March 10th 2020, the Verdansk map was one of the key elements of the game’s success. The subsequent lockdown due to the global pandemic was also a major shot in the arm for the game, with so many gamers being home. The Verdansk map along with the gameplay mechanics of the game at the time were a perfect combination and so Warzone was “just so”. It allowed both skilled and unskilled players to play together, without one group dominating the other. Gunfights could be intense but there were periods of downtime when traversing the map. Players also couldn’t continuously respawn if defeated, so there was a requirement to play with a degree of caution and strategy. I enjoyed the game immensely despite not being the biggest fan of PVP based gaming. It was a broadly equitable experience but sadly it didn’t remain that way.
I decided to play Call of Duty today as I wanted some undemanding entertainment. I was not surprised when the game client began an update, as I have not played for about three months. Hence, there was obviously new content to install. However, when I saw the size of the download, I knew this was more than just a season update. I therefore checked the Battle.net client and discovered that the game was installing Black Ops 6, the latest version of Call of Duty that is released on 25th October. A game I have decided not to buy for a multitude of reasons. Fortunately, you can modify your game installation on the fly, so I unchecked a few boxes and the download stopped. However, I was annoyed by the hubris of this “download by default” policy, so I decided to uninstall my existing installation of Modern Warfare 3 as it is no longer a mainstay of my gaming activities.
For those who are not familiar with this latest niche piece of “gaming outrage”, it regards the extraction shooter Warzone 2.0 DMZ, which is part of the Call of Duty franchise. When you enter the game (either solo or in a squad), you use gear that you have previously collected. A key part of the game is looting and upgrading your weapon, bullet proof vest (there are 3 tiers) and sundry support items. If you die, then you lose all the equipment you are currently carrying. With this in mind, Activision have recently added two purchasable gear bundles to the game store. One comes with a medium size backpack by default. The other comes with a 2 plate vest (tier 2) and two weapons that only have a 15 minute cooldown. This does offer a degree of convenience. Furthermore, the second bundle is tied to the Ghost operator skin, who within the game’s canon is an iconic figure. Hence there has been a great deal of debate over the rectitude of these bundles.
I don’t mind buying an occasional bundle from the store in DMZ, although it is often the weapon blueprint that determines my choice. Today I bought Overgrown 2, which includes the Ghillie Monster operator skin, to see if it offered any significant advantage. However, as I am not what you would call a “top tier” player, my subsequent experience and anecdotal evidence is hardly compelling. If you go prone in the desert, a shrubbery or among general herbidacious flora then it does offer a degree of camouflage. However, in suburban areas and the outlying villages of Al Mazrah, you look like a Wookie on a daytrip and I can’t see any advantage. So upon reflection, two questions spring to mind. Firstly, do any of the skins currently available in the game offer any tangible benefits? If not is it just a question of operator skins are 100% cosmetic and just about tickling a players fancy and getting them to put their hand in their pockets.
Here we are again with another summary of my gaming activities in recent months. Or in this case since last September. It’s been a while but I’ve been on a blogging hiatus until recently. However, I’ve kept myself busy gaming wise and often I find the hunt for news video games, just as entertaining as I do playing them. Perhaps that could be a future blog post. Back to the matter in hand. Gaming wise, pretty much all things related to the MMORPG genre are currently on the back burner. I’ll give specifics later but I am taking a break from these for the present. I am currently looking at trying games outside my usual comfort zone and also trying to test whether you can or cannot teach an old dog new tricks. Fortunately, the answer appears to be yes you can. Enough summation, on to the specifics.
I like an analogy as a literary device, so here’s one for you. Video games are like parties. How so? In the following ways. They quite never live up to your expectations. The best ones are the ones you never go to, according to the “anecdotes” you’re told afterwards. And there’s always someone crying and throwing up at 2:00 AM. Okay, the last one isn’t quite relevant but the overall sentiment of the first two is sound. The reason I have used this visual metaphor is because both parties and multiplayer video games sell themselves on the alleged quality of their respective social dynamic. They supposedly offer you fun with your friends and a unique, memorable experience. However, the reality is a lot more lacklustre. Warzone 2.0 DMZ is a prime example. What enjoyment there is to be had in playing this game is offset by the iniquities of many of its players as they race to the proverbial bottom.
September has been and gone and the nights are now drawing in. Usually this time of year is ideal for gaming but sadly I’ve had a lot on over the last 30 days and as a result there’s been precious little time for gaming or indeed writing. Such is life. When I did have some leisure time, MMOs were the easiest way to get a quick gaming fix, as per usual. Standing Stone Games announced that the next expansion for The Lord of the Rings Online would be released in November and that a revision of the Legendary Item system would be coming prior to that. Hence I took a look at the beta builds on the Bullroarer test server and then started prepping my various alts on the live servers, to get ready for this major change. I also managed to complete the latest event in Star Trek Online. However, beyond these straightforward tasks I didn’t really get to do much more.
Video games can offer a great opportunity for personal growth. If you are the sort of player who likes to prove themselves and continuously test one’s mettle, then some titles can provide the challenge required to be the best of the best. Hence many games are competitive, have league tables and other formal structures for measuring success. It is one of the reasons why esports have become so popular. But this desire to excel and master a particular play style extends beyond competitive games. For some players part of a games allure is understanding the numbers and stats that drive the game mechanics. Because these are often the key to optimising your build and maximising DPS output. Hence you will find skilled and learned players in a variety of games across multiple genres. Although they are often motivated for different reasons, they all strive to be elite players.
I originally climbed aboard the Call of Duty bandwagon in 2009 when Modern Warfare 2 came out. I enjoyed the campaign and the multiplayer so much I promptly bought the first instalment. I then stuck with the franchise up until 2013. I didn’t especially like Ghosts, although I enjoyed the option to play as a dog which was different. Overall I was somewhat tired of the FPS genre from then on and so didn’t keep up with any further releases. For me the best iteration of the game was Black Ops in 2010. The campaign had a densely plotted story and the multiplayer was extremely polished. The multiplayer maps were well conceived allowing for fluid and engaging gameplay. Six years on and I recently got an itch to play Call of Duty again. The soft reboot of the franchise with Modern warfare in November 2019 promised a return to basics. The recent inclusion of a battle royale mode with the release of Warzone finally clinched the deal. So I bought a discounted version of the standard game recently and dived back in.
I have enjoyed Sniper Elite 4 and all of the sundry DLC immensely since its release in Spring. The game presents an interesting alternative to the traditional shooter with its stealth based level design. The latest instalment, Obliteration (the third part of an ongoing story), is set in an empty Bavarian town and has an intricate map with an authentic period feel. It offers opportunities for both long range sniping and close quarters stealth kills. Overall, I have found that the franchise provides engaging and complex gameplay, as well as satisfying the players baser need for blood and violence. However, playing this and other similar titles got me thinking. It would appear that World War II, one of the defining periods of the last century that still has ramifications today, is in certain quarters now simply a setting, a plot device or a Hitchcockian MacGuffin. Is the broader subtext of this major event now irrelevant to a generation of players because they have no immediate connection to this period in history? If that is the case, exactly when does it become acceptable for something of this magnitude, to be trivialised in this manner (if that is indeed the case).
I took advantage of the current summer sales and pre-ordered the next instalment of Call of Duty, succinctly named WWII, due to be released in Autumn. After straying far from the established model, it’s nice to see CoD returning to its roots. The Second World War is a tried and tested formula and will no doubt be well received by fans of the franchise. As I have said before, COD is not a revolutionary product and as far as I know has never claimed to be. It provides a standard formula with sufficient variation, which is commercially viable and demonstrably popular. Those gamers that constantly rail against these games are on a hiding to nothing. You might as well complain about pop music being mainstream and accessible.
IFS Cloud Cable Car
Regardless of whether you deem the IFS Cloud Cable Car a white elephant, a political folly or just a mistake in terms of tourism, it cannot be denied that the view it provides over South East London is impressive. At a height of 90 metres (300 feet), on a bright and sunny day you can see from City Airport to Canary Wharf. Located at Greenwich Peninsula, the IFS Cloud Cable Car (as it is now called) opened in June 2012. It was initially promoted as a viable form of public transport across the Thames, linking North Greenwich and Royal Victoria stations. In October 2012, nearly 100,000 journeys were made. However, after the London Olympics, passenger rates fell and since then IFS Cloud Cable Car has become more of a tourist attraction, rather than an integral means of commuting.
Regardless of whether you deem the IFS Cloud Cable Car a white elephant, a political folly or just a mistake in terms of tourism, it cannot be denied that the view it provides over South East London is impressive. At a height of 90 metres (300 feet), on a bright and sunny day you can see from City Airport to Canary Wharf. Located at Greenwich Peninsula, the IFS Cloud Cable Car (as it is now called) opened in June 2012. It was initially promoted as a viable form of public transport across the Thames, linking North Greenwich and Royal Victoria stations. In October 2012, nearly 100,000 journeys were made. However, after the London Olympics, passenger rates fell and since then IFS Cloud Cable Car has become more of a tourist attraction, rather than an integral means of commuting.
Today, myself, Mrs P, the son and the three grandchildren took a bus from Sidcup to Greenwich Peninsula. The IFS Cloud Cable Car is a short walk from the bus terminus outside North Greenwich station. Fares are £6 for adults and £3 for children between the age of 5 and 15. Children under 5 travel free of charge. It cost us £24 for a one way trip to the other side of the river. We took the lift from the ticket office to the cable car platform and within minutes several gondolas arrived. As it was 10:30 AM on a Thursday, during the Easter holidays, most of the passengers were tourists. Access is safe and easy. Staff are available to help passengers accordingly. We were fortunate to have a gondola to ourselves and as the weather was bright without too much cloud, we had optimal conditions to enjoy the 10 minute journey over the river Thames.
Greenwich Peninsula, Canary Wharf, Poplar and Silver Town have been extensively redeveloped over the last 40 years. There are a few cranes preserved for posterity indicating that the area was at one time, a busy dock. However the waterfront and surrounding areas are now home to the O2 Arena, the ExCel Centre, City Hall and an ever expanding number of luxury apartments (owned by Chinese property developers and Russian oligarchs). Opulent yachts are moored in the Royal Victoria Dock and planes come and go at City Airport. The area certainly presents the modern face of London. Furthermore, there are still large swathes of land in the vicinity that are currently under development, indicating that the view from the IFS Cloud Cable Car may well be even more impressive in 5 years time.
Upon arrival on the other side of the Thames, we walked to Royal Victoria station and made our way to Westminster to see The Houses of Parliament. We then took a stroll through Victoria Tower Gardens South and crossed the Thames again at Lambeth Bridge. We walked along Albert Embankment path, past the National COVID Memorial Wall. It was our intention to take a riverboat back to Greenwich but there were delays as only a partial service was running. So we crossed back over the river at Westminster Bridge and caught a train back home from Charing Cross station. I used my prepaid Oyster Card for the various bus, tube and train journeys and the total cost was £13.20 which is extremely good value. Overall it was an interesting and enjoyable day and I would recommend the IFS Cloud Cable Car for its London views.
Today I visited the Inside Aardman: Wallace & Gromit and Friends exhibition at the Young V&A Museum at Bethnal Green. The exhibition which celebrates 50 years of Aardman Animations, provides visitors with a unique, behind the scenes view of the art of stop-motion animation. It also explores how Aardman’s iconic characters and worlds are designed, crafted and brought to life. From the initial concept artwork to the final visual effects, this event demonstrates the methods and techniques employed by Aardman. The exhibition features early scripts, sketch artists initial concept art, models, sets and numerous famous puppets. Furthermore this event is firmly pitched at children and families, with a wealth of interactive activities demonstrating the various techniques on display. The curators of the exhibition have also made it clear that they wish to encourage future generation to consider a career in the creative arts.
The Imperial War Museum serves as a national museum for Britain. Its main location is in London, complemented by five additional branches across England. Established in 1917 as the Imperial War Museum, its original purpose was to document the civil and military efforts and sacrifices made by the United Kingdom and its Empire during the First World War. Over time, the museum’s scope has broadened to encompass all conflicts involving British or Commonwealth forces since 1914. As of 2012, the museum’s mission is to provide and encourage the study and understanding of the history of modern warfare as well as the “wartime experience”. The IWM as it is now known has its headquarters and primary site is located at Southwark in Central London. The museum is funded by government grants, charitable donations and revenue generated through commercial activity such as retailing, licensing and publishing. General admission is free to IWM London.
Castle Farm is a family business located near the village of Shoreham in West Kent. The Alexander Family have been farming in the Darenth Valley since 1892 when James Alexander transported 17 milking cows from Ayrshire in Scotland and took up residence in this south-eastern part of England. Castle Farm is a busy, working farm comprising of 1,100 acres. It produces such crops as wheat, barley, rapeseed, hops, apples, pumpkins and lavender. It is also home to a grass-fed herd of beef cattle. However, in recent years it has become well know internationally for its lavender crop. Castle Farm began its lavender enterprise in 1998, producing the essential oils associated with the flower. It is now the largest lavender farm in the UK, growing over 110 acres of the flower. Furthermore, it has become quite a tourist attraction with the farm staff running tours during Summer and the height of lavender season.
Riverhill Himalayan Gardens are set in the grounds of Riverhill House, a Grade II listed Queen Anne manor house located on the southern edge of Sevenoaks in Kent, England. Riverhill is well known for its stunning and historic gardens as well as its sweeping vistas over the Weald of Kent. The estate has been the residence of the Rogers family since 1840 who currently operate the gardens as a tourist attraction, along with the house and associated facilities as a wedding venue. Visitors can enjoy a walled garden, rose walk and maze as well as other attractions. There is also an excellent trail around the grounds culminating in a view from the top of the hill over the estate. Riverhill Himalayan Gardens, as a supporter of the Surrey Sculpture Society, regularly showcases a selection of sculptures and art pieces throughout its grounds. All are available for purchase if you have deep pockets.
The Hunterian Museum is a museum of anatomical specimens in London, located in the prestigious building of the Royal College of Surgeons of England. The museum is made up primarily of a collection from the 18th century Scottish surgeon John Hunter. Over the years it has since been subsequently supplemented by Odontological material curated by A. E. W. Miles and various natural history exhibits from Richard Owen. In May 2023, the Hunterian Museum reopened following a five-year redevelopment of the Royal College of Surgeons of England’s headquarters at Lincoln’s Inn Fields. The £4.6 million museum project features the exhibition of more than 2,000 anatomical specimens from Hunter’s original collection. In addition to these there are instruments, equipment, models, paintings, and archival materials that document the evolution of surgery from ancient eras to contemporary robot-assisted procedures. The Museum boasts the largest public display of human anatomy in England.
The Crystal Palace Dinosaurs are a collection of sculptures depicting dinosaurs and other extinct species located in Crystal Palace Park, in the London borough of Bromley. These sculptures were originally commissioned in 1852 for display at the Crystal Palace following its relocation from the Great Exhibition held in Hyde Park. They were revealed to the public in 1854 and are the first speculative dinosaur sculptures ever created. Although the models are now considered inaccurate by contemporary standards, they were designed and crafted by Benjamin Waterhouse Hawkins under the scientific guidance of Sir Richard Owen, reflecting the prevailing scientific understanding of the time. The sculptures were designated as Grade II listed buildings in 1973 and underwent extensive restoration in 2002. In 2007 they were elevated to Grade I listed status. As of spring 2026 the dinosaurs are again being renovated as part of a £5 million regeneration of the park.
The benefits of international travel are numerous. These include stress relief, mental health benefits and a chance to escape the drudgery of work. Then there are the cultural aspects that you can immerse yourself in. Going abroad also allows you to learn new language skills as you awkwardly ask for directions. International travel is a chance to make lasting memories and it often gives the traveller a greater appreciation of their own home. At the very least the beer is always better abroad and that is the very definition of “broadening your horizons”. Yet despite all these positive points, there is one unavoidable hassle when comes with travelling abroad. The fact that the country or countries that you’re visiting will invariably use a different electrical plug and socket standard. In an age where a lot of the stuff you bring along with you on holiday needs charging, this can be a very stressful problem to solve.
I thoroughly enjoyed our holiday in Croatia last year and it did much to restore my confidence in travelling. Previously my views on visiting other countries had been greatly influenced by the films Raid on Entebbe and Midnight Express. As January was such a bleak month here in the UK, Mrs P and I decided we couldn’t wait until summer for another holiday and so decided to book something for the end of March. So we visited our local Travel Agents and decided upon a river cruise. We’ve been interested in these since we saw a travel show with Susan Calman. River cruises are a horse of a different colour, compared to sea cruises. They’re a great way to visit cities of note, often bringing you right into the heart of them. River cruise ships are a lot smaller with less passengers than ocean faring vessels. They also attract quite different travellers. Let it suffice to say that a sea cruise doesn’t offer the cultural experience that I am looking for.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
There is no shortage of interesting and good quality museums in London. In many respects tourists and visitors are spoilt for choice. More often than not, it is the most well known institutions such as the British Museum or Victoria and Albert Museum that gain the most attention. However, there are many hidden gems to discover if you take the time to look further. A prime example being The British Optical Association Museum which I had the pleasure of visiting today. The museum’s function is to promote the optometry profession and raise public awareness of its past and ongoing role within society. The museum has a well conserved collection of exhibits and provides a venue for presentations, learning and research services. There is also an excellent tour hosted by museum curator Neil Handley (PhD, AMA, FRSA) in which he gives a concise, interesting and at times a witty overview of the history of optometry in the UK and its current role.
The artillery battery at Capel-le-Ferne was built between 1941 and 1942, following the fall of France, on the orders of Winston Churchill. Located between Dover and Folkestone, the battery consisted of three 8-inch high-performance guns, provided by the Royal Navy. The battery was intended to provide anti-shipping defence in the English Channel. The site was manned by men of the 520 Coast Regiment Royal Artillery. Over the course of World War II, the battery expanded in size, eventually encompassing multiple Nissen huts, several roads and 19 military buildings. Anti aircraft defence was provided by two 40mm Bofors guns. Over the course of the war, the Capel Battery engaged enemy shipping on four separate occasions and also took part in fifteen practice shoots. In 1944, due to the decreased threat, the battery was placed in “care and maintenance”. The guns were removed in 1952 and the building demolished in the early 1980s
There are an estimated 2,500 museums in the UK. This number has grown significantly over time, more than tripling between 1960 and 2017. While it is laudable that so many of these institutions exist, they do not all receive equal interest or publicity. Some museums dominate in their respective fields and drown out others that have a similar theme. With this in mind, I was unaware of the Kent Battle of Britain Museum until a friend recently brought it to my attention. After yesterday’s visit my initial thoughts are what a treasure trove it is. According to the museum’s website it is the world’s largest Battle of Britain collection of memorabilia. This includes planes, uniforms, weapons and related artefacts from over 700 crashed aircraft. Furthermore, the museum tells the story of this battle without bias, choosing to highlight both the historical and the human aspects of the conflict. It is often very poignant.
Stonehenge is so much more than just a neolithic, historical structure of note. It is of great spiritual importance to many, representing ceremonial practices and ancient worship. It is also seen as a conduit to a wider connection to the cosmos. It is after all a celestial calendar, according to one of the theories regarding its purpose. It also has a strong significance in pop culture. Hence, due to its history, symbolism, religious connotations and overall sense of mystery it is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and a globally recognised symbol of ancient Britain. As such, it has always been somewhere that I have wished to visit. Today, as we were relatively nearby in Ringwood and the weather was pleasant, Mrs P and I decided to go to Salisbury and see this iconic structure for ourselves.
I enjoy visiting the coast. I always have. I find the sight and sounds of the sea very calming and thought provoking. There is something about seeing the ocean stretch out to the horizon and its implied enormity, that gives you a sense of perspective. The UK is a seafaring nation and therefore it is an integral part of our history and national identity. Hence a strong nautical theme and a sense of its importance has bled through into our popular culture. It is therefore quite common for people to have a positive attitude towards the sea and its associated leisure activities. I like to visit the coast at various times of the year and walk along the beach, just listening to the waves, lost in my own thoughts. This is not a hard thing to do in the UK, as no one lives further than 70 miles (113 kilometers) from the coast.
Knole is a country house in England and a former archbishop’s palace that is currently owned by the National Trust. It is located within Knole Park, a 1,000-acre (400-hectare) estate that lies to the south-east of Sevenoaks in west Kent. The existing structure of the house dates back to the mid-15th century, although there were significant expansions in the 16th and particularly in the early 17th centuries. Its Grade I listing signifies its combination of late-medieval to Stuart architectural styles. This is especially evident in its central façade and state rooms. In 2019, a comprehensive conservation initiative titled “Inspired by Knole” was completed to restore and enhance the buildings’ structures. This was beneficial to the preservation of its significant collections. The adjacent deer park has also endured since 1600.
Mrs P and I travelled to Croatia on Friday 13th June for our summer holiday. We spent one week in Makarska, which is located on the Dalmatian coast. My last international holiday was to Malta in 2004. Since then we have done a lot of travelling in the UK and Mrs P has vacationed abroad with other family members. However, she stated last September that she wanted to go “somewhere warm” for our next holiday. So this trip was booked and has been “something to look forward to”, or a source of stress slowly inching closer, depending upon your perspective. In many respects this holiday has been a big deal for me. I don’t enjoy travelling at all with all its accompanying logistical, bureaucratic and “people” issues. However, I have no problem with being elsewhere. I eagerly await teleportation technology to become commonplace. Once I arrived at our hotel, I quickly switched to holiday mode and I am happy to confirm that I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Emmetts Garden is an Edwardian estate situated on Ide Hill, close to Sevenoaks in Kent, UK. After a long and interesting history it is currently under the stewardship of the National Trust. Originally open farmland, the existing house was constructed in1860. The term “emmett” is a local dialect for ant, referencing the large anthills that populated the area until the 1950s. In 1890, the estate was acquired by Frederic Lubbock, a banker with a keen interest in horticulture. His elder brother, John Lubbock, 1st Baron Avebury, was a renowned authority on ants, which may have influenced Frederic's decision to purchase the estate. Today Emmetts Garden is open to the public and features several “hortus conclusus” (walled gardens) and a hillside trail that is famous for its Bluebells in the spring.
Damerham is a quaint rural village and civil parish located in the New Forest district of Hampshire, England. It is close to the market town of Fordingbridge. Damerham is distinguished by significant Neolithic and Bronze Age burial mounds. Historically, it was home to an Anglo-Saxon religious community and was referenced in the will of Alfred the Great, as it was at that time part of the royal estate. At the time of the Domesday Book in 1086, Damerham was recognized as a prominent settlement under the ownership of Glastonbury Abbey. It was mainly farms and agrarian small holdings. Today, the village still features a riverside mill and the church of Saint George date’s back to the Norman period. There is a church hall that hosts numerous local, seasonal events.
Bodiam Castle is a 14th-century moated castle located near Robertsbridge in East Sussex, England. It was built in 1385 by Sir Edward Dalyngrigge, a former knight of King Edward III. The castle’s primary purpose was to defend the local area against possible French invasion during the Hundred Years' War. Bodiam Castle has a quadrangular design and does not have a keep. All the various chambers and rooms were built adjacent to the outer defensive walls. The four corners and main entrance have towers, all of which feature crenellations. A substantial moat surrounds the castle, which served as a home for the Dalyngrigge family, as well as a seat of power to the manor of Bodiam. The castle remained within the Dalyngrigge family until the line became extinct. It remained a place of strategic importance during the War of the Roses and the English Civil War. It is currently owned and maintained by The National Trust.
Today I went on an impromptu visit to Brompton Cemetery in West London. Established in 1837, the West of London and Westminster Cemetery (as it was originally known) is a private cemetery initially created as a business venture to capitalise upon the shortage of cemeteries within London. It also sought to cater to the prevailing culture of opulent Victorian funeral rites. However, after proving non profitable, the cemetery was bought by the UK government. It was subsequently incorporated into Crown Property and managed by The Royal Parks. It is one of Britain’s oldest and most distinguished garden cemeteries. There are currently 35,000 monuments, ranging from simple headstones to impressive mausolea. It is home to more than 205,000 resting places. The cemetery is also a haven for flora and fauna, providing a substantial semi rural environment amid urban central London.
Christmas Tree Farm is a petting zoo, outside the village of Downe in the county of Kent. Despite its rural setting, it is actually only 15 miles from London, making it an ideal visit, as part of a day. The farm is home to a wide selection of domestic farm animals (and a few more exotic ones), all of which can be fed, stroked and lavished with attention by visitors. During the winter months, Christmas Tree Farm hosts Santa’s Grotto and as the name suggests is the place to find the perfect Christmas tree for your home. Entry prices are very reasonable, costing £6 per adult and £4 for children aged between 2 and 16 years old. Buckets of animal feed of varying size are also available for a small fee. There is a leisurely trail around the farm where the various animals are housed in pens and out buildings. There is also a Tea Garden where refreshments are available.
In 1939 legislation was passed in the UK so that all employees had one week’s annual paid holiday per year. By the 1950s this had become two weeks and by the 1980s most people had at least 4 weeks of annual holiday. On top of this paid leave allocation, the UK currently has 8 bank holidays which provides further time off for employees. This culture of increasing amounts of annual leave also broadly coincided with air travel becoming more accessible. The first UK passenger jet service began in 1952. However, its cost excluded most people. However, as larger airliners with increased range became available, cheaper foreign holidays became more and more economically viable. European holidays became a reality in the 1960s and 1970s. By the 1980s long-distance holidays to other continents became ubiquitous and the package holiday became king. It is also worth noting that the Channel Tunnel opened in 1994, making car travel from Britain to Europe easier and more popular.
Today I had the pleasure of visiting the Whitstable Museum (or to give its full name Whitstable Community Museum and Gallery). This is a fine example of a local heritage centre that curates and displays artefacts and records that reflect the history and culture of the surrounding area. The museum located in Whitstable, Kent, is home to one of the world's oldest steam engines, as well as historical diving equipment that was developed locally. The history of the local oyster trade which has been an integral part of the community for centuries is also a key feature. Established in 1985, the museum was reopened in 2015 following a major refurbishment. There is also an art gallery featuring the paintings by local artists and artworks on loan from an international network of galleries.
Eltham Palace, located in South East London, was the childhood home of King Henry VIII in 1499. It was later used as a royal nursery for the infant Princess Elizabeth, born on 7th September 1533. It sports sumptuous grounds and ornamental gardens and was famous for its game hunting during the Tudor and Elizabethan periods. In the 1930s’ the property was owned by the Courtauld family, who built a sumptuous Art Deco style mansion and redeveloped the grounds. Today the entire property is owned and managed by English Heritage who have extensively restored much of the estate. It is therefore very fitting that this illustrious venue annually plays host to the Legendary Medieval Joust, during the summer months. Two days of historical pageantry, re-enactments and events for the entire family to enjoy. I last attended in 2015, so it was a welcome pleasure to return again yesterday.
Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London is a step-free art trail and tourist attraction featuring the iconic animated character Morph. It is hosted by charitable organisation Whizz-Kidz, global event producers Wild in Art and Aardman. The trail features 56 super-sized sculptures of the much-loved children’s TV character, which are set among various iconic London landmarks including St Pauls, Tate Modern, Tower of London, Shakespeare’s Globe and Borough Market. It is a free public art trail and tourist attraction, designed by a variety of artists to excite and inspire people of all ages, whilst increasing public awareness about the need for young wheelchair users to be mobile, enabled and included in society. Morph’s Epic Art Adventure in London runs from June 19th until August 20th 2023.
Regardless of whether you deem the IFS Cloud Cable Car a white elephant, a political folly or just a mistake in terms of tourism, it cannot be denied that the view it provides over South East London is impressive. At a height of 90 metres (300 feet), on a bright and sunny day you can see from City Airport to Canary Wharf. Located at Greenwich Peninsula, the IFS Cloud Cable Car (as it is now called) opened in June 2012. It was initially promoted as a viable form of public transport across the Thames, linking North Greenwich and Royal Victoria stations. In October 2012, nearly 100,000 journeys were made. However, after the London Olympics, passenger rates fell and since then IFS Cloud Cable Car has become more of a tourist attraction, rather than an integral means of commuting.
To my surprise I found myself out and about today undertaking another day trip. This time we headed back to the sea and visited Whitstable, a town on the north coast of Kent adjoining the Greater Thames Estuary. It’s 5 miles (8 kilometres) north of Canterbury and 2 miles (3 kilometres) west of Herne Bay. The town was originally recorded in the Domesday Book of 1086, under the name Witenestaple, meaning "the meeting place of the white post", a reference to a local landmark. By the late middle ages Whitstable had become a centre of Thames Estuary fishing, specifically for oysters. Today, the main activities at the harbour are fishing and processing, cargo handling and boat maintenance. The town has shingle/sandy beaches adjacent to the harbour, where swimming and water sports are popular. Whitstable Castle is situated on the border of Whitstable and off the coast is Kentish Flats offshore wind farm, consisting of 30 wind turbines.
Royal Tunbridge Wells is a town in the county of Kent, 30 miles (50 kilometres) southeast of central London. It is situated on the border with East Sussex on the northern edge of the High Weald. The local sandstone geology is synonymous with a rugged landscape due to erosion and weathering. The town itself was a spa during the Restoration and became a very fashionable resort in the middle of the 18th century. Socialites such as Beau Nash helped make the resort popular when the Pantiles and its chalybeate spring, began attracting visitors who came to “take the waters”. Despite the decline in spa towns after sea bathing grew in popularity, Royal Tunbridge Wells has remained a tourist resort. Today, much of the area's income is generated by tourism. The town has an equitable temperate maritime climate.
The Problem With Ever Changing Band Lineups
I was reminiscing about the music of my youth the other day which led me to listen to a track by Pro-Pain. The band formed in NYC in 1991 and their debut album Foul Taste of Freedom got some traction in the UK. I lost track of them after the next album and moved on musically. However, because of my recent fit of nostalgia, I looked the band up on Wikipedia and discovered that they were still going. Now thirty years is quite a long period of time and nothing stays the same forever but even I was surprised to see that the lineup of Pro-Pain had changed over a dozen times. The only original artist in the band today is bass player, lead vocalists and founder member, Gary Meskil. As ever this started a train of thought about the subject. How so many bands have made substantial changes in their lineup over the course of their careers and the respective pros and cons of such decisions.
Pro-Pain Gary Meskil
I was reminiscing about the music of my youth the other day which led me to listen to a track by Pro-Pain. The band formed in NYC in 1991 and their debut album Foul Taste of Freedom got some traction in the UK. I lost track of them after the next album and moved on musically. However, because of my recent fit of nostalgia, I looked the band up on Wikipedia and discovered that they were still going. Now thirty years is quite a long period of time and nothing stays the same forever but even I was surprised to see that the lineup of Pro-Pain had changed over a dozen times. The only original artist in the band today is bass player, lead vocalists and founder member, Gary Meskil. As ever this started a train of thought about the subject. How so many bands have made substantial changes in their lineup over the course of their careers and the respective pros and cons of such decisions.
Being in a band is a stressful work environment. Creative differences, the amount of time you spend in each other's company and the constant travelling take their toll. Change is an inevitability. But when you change the line up of a band, how much of an impact does it have? Well that depends upon who is leaving and what contribution they made overall. If the outgoing member defined the band’s sound, wrote most of their material or had the biggest personality, then their absence is significant. Think Michael Jackson and The Jackson 5. If their contribution was more arbitrary, then replacing them may not be such an issue. Pete Best “leaving” The Beatles springs to mind. Sometimes the departure of a band member creates an opportunity for a band to reinvent themselves. In the case of Adam and the Ants, the entire band bar Adam left to form Bow Wow Wow. Adam then found new Ants and moved from Punk to New Wave.
Adam and the Ants “Ridicule is nothing to be scared of”
Another problem that arises from bands that have enjoyed great longevity and numerous changes in their line up, is that they will end up with a canon of work that is rich and varied. Fans therefore may not necessarily share the same point of entry into this oeuvre, or enjoy the same material. In such a case, do fans even like the same band? Is there an unbridgeable gulf between Dexy’s Midnight Runner fans who favour the 1980 album Searching for the Young Soul Rebels and those who preferred Too-Rye-Ay, two years later? And to complicate matters further, sometimes a successful band will not just see multiple lineup changes but will split into multiple iterations of the same band, due to legal and financial wranglings. At one point there were two versions of the popular English Reggae band UB40. One using the original name and the other being known as UB40 featuring Ali Campbell and Astro. That’s just weird.
The music industry has always been a battleground between art and business. Bands can be a collective of evolving musical artists, trying to produce art, as well as an established commercial product providing an ongoing service. Sometimes one trumps the other but it more often than not seems to be the latter. But music provides many things beyond artistic appreciation. Music nostalgia is a major psychological comfort blanket. If you see an iconic band like The Rolling Stones, do you really want to listen to their latest musings or just their greatest hits? It does seem like the provision of a service. However, due to the line up changes over the years, how authentic is that experience? Following a similar train of thought, can you really ever truly experience Queen any more, since the death of Freddie Mercury? However, Judging by ticket sales, this may not be an issue.
The Stranglers
The Stranglers are down to their last original member, Jean-Jacques Burnel. Whether the band will produce any more albums or tour remains to be seen but it does seriously raise the question: are The Stranglers really The Stranglers any more? You can argue from a logical, semantical or emotional perspective and I’m not entirely sure if there is a right or wrong answer. You can have a band where all the original members are dead or retired, so what do people do? They form a bloody tribute act. Again, we return to the power of nostalgia and the money that it can generate. Regarding the original point of the post about the ever changing lineups that some bands have, I suppose you decide for yourself what, if any, lines in the sand you personally draw. I guess music has become like the film and TV industry. When talking to someone, if you state that you like such and such a band, you then have to clarify which version, or which period of their work you enjoy. That’s “fun”.
Song lyrics can be powerful things. They can capture the mood and spirit of an era. They can also make powerful socio-political points. Or they can simply be pleasing to the listener by their use of language and playfulness. They can stick in your mind for both deep and trivial reasons. Mishearing them is also a common problem but that is a separate blog post. On this occasion I thought it would be worthwhile exploring the subject of song lyrics of note. Hence I have collated some that I find interesting, wise or just entertaining. These aren’t necessarily my favourite songs of all time, because I like so many. Instead these are some of the ones that sprang to mind when I was preparing this post. I have decided to have the selected lyrics first and the name of the artists afterwards, so that the emphasis is placed upon the words from the song. Although is is more than likely that you’ll be able to identify the songs from the lyrics immediately, or at least for some of them.
The transition from purchasing music on CDs, vinyl or via downloads, to on-demand streaming has fundamentally altered the music industry. Furthermore, the current dominance of on-demand streaming as a medium for providing music has actually reshaped how pop music is written, produced and released. Because streaming platforms like Spotify, Apple Music, and TikTok operate on specific payment algorithms and cater to the rapid-scrolling habits of contemporary listeners, producers and songwriters have decided to completely rewrite the rulebook of how pop music is made. These new rules are not one hundred percent ubiquitous and you’ll still find song writers and artists who do things the old way or in a manner that suits them. However, sufficient numbers of song writers have adopted the new methodology, that you can hear the change if you spend a day or so listening to a mainstream pop playlist or radio station that showcases such material.
I was recently listening to some music on Spotify when it struck me how poor the sound quality was. It lacked any depth and certain instruments seemed lost in what I can only describe as a somewhat flat and smudged soundscape. Then I remembered that I had recently reinstalled the app on my PC after the search facility "broke" on the previous install. It would seem that any prior settings and customisations that I may have made had not carried over, not that I recollect specifically making any. I consulted Google Gemini to see if this issue was a common one and low and behold it is. The latest version of Spotify, by default, has the streaming bitrate set fairly low to accommodate data capped internet services or low bandwidth connections. In audio terms the music quality sounds poor. Hence I spent sometime nosing around in the settings to see what needed to be changed to remedy this problem. Here is the breakdown of the alterations that I made.
The Guardian news website have a recurring feature in their “culture” section called Honest Playlist where they ask various celebrities about their music listening habits. There are a dozen or so stock questions that they use to grill their guest, although they don’t always use the same ones. I think it makes for interesting reading so its a column that I often visit. As I haven’t published a post based upon an internet questionnaire for a while, I thought I poach this particular line of questioning and have a crack at it myself. I have chosen the ten questions that I think are the best and by that I mean, they have the most scope for interesting answers. I didn’t include the one about karaoke because it’s not something I especially like. Each to their own. Feel free to similarly purloin this set of questions and write your own responses. I’m always fascinated by these sort of things.
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
I recently came up with a random writing prompt for the annual Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event. Namely, “what is your favourite bassline in a song”? For clarity, Wikipedia defines a bassline as follows: Bassline is the term used in many styles of music, such as blues, jazz, funk, dub and electronic, traditional, and classical music, for the low-pitched instrumental part or line played by a rhythm section instrument such as the electric bass, double bass, cello, tuba or keyboard. As I thought of this prompt, it only seems fair that I tackle it myself. Hence, here are five songs that I feel have notable basslines, or that have bassplayers that play in a unique style. I am not especially musically talented myself and therefore not au fait with all the correct musical terminology. However, I will strive to quantify why I think each song is a good example.
This post is not intended to be a comprehensive review of music per se in 2024. It is simply a few thoughts on what I’ve been listening to over the course of the year and my ever changing relationship with the Terpsichorean muse. As a man in his fifties who has always enjoyed multiple genres of music and it is a comforting presence in day-to-day life. Up to a year ago, I relied upon my own music collection on my PC as the source of music to which I listened. Yet, this meant that I was somewhat locked into my own existing tastes and there was limited scope for me to find new material. This changed last December when I started subscribing to Spotify and since then it has become my primary source of music. It caters to my tastes, which at times are quite niche and it gently introduces me to new material without being too invasive. This has proven most beneficial.
I currently have over 152 GB of music on my PC. Approximately 26,000 songs or pieces of music. These are in MP3, Flac and other formats. The files have been sourced from various CDs that I have owned over the years and subsequently “ripped”. Others have been bought from Amazon or other similar sources. In the past I have copied music from friends’ collections and vice versa. The files are mainly categorised by artist or name which is sufficient for me to be able to trawl through them to find what I want. I use foobar2000 as my music player of choice, mainly because it is updated by its developer, plays all major file formats and has no adverts. The interface is verging on the spartan but I prefer this minimalist approach, as I do not require an excess of features.
The following is about a cultural change. That is not to say that it’s a value judgement or one of those posts you so frequently read by bloggers of a certain age, that essentially boil down to “things were better in my day”. It is merely an observation and like all observations it is not 100% universal. There will always be exceptions to the rule. I am simply painting with broad strokes a general truism for your consideration. My point being that people listen, experience and enjoy music differently these days compared to how they did three to four decades ago. I’m not talking about the science of hearing or anything complex like that. I am merely highlighting the change in the way we choose to experience music and how that has an impact upon its creation and presentation. So like Anne Elk, presenting her theory on the Brontosaurus, here is the axiom at the heart of this post.
I was reminiscing about the music of my youth the other day which led me to listen to a track by Pro-Pain. The band formed in NYC in 1991 and their debut album Foul Taste of Freedom got some traction in the UK. I lost track of them after the next album and moved on musically. However, because of my recent fit of nostalgia, I looked the band up on Wikipedia and discovered that they were still going. Now thirty years is quite a long period of time and nothing stays the same forever but even I was surprised to see that the lineup of Pro-Pain had changed over a dozen times. The only original artist in the band today is bass player, lead vocalists and founder member, Gary Meskil. As ever this started a train of thought about the subject. How so many bands have made substantial changes in their lineup over the course of their careers and the respective pros and cons of such decisions.
In 2000, I was the proud owner of a Sega Dreamcast. I had a broad selection of games for the console from multiple genres, including Metropolis Street Racer. This was an early example of an open world driving game which is noteworthy in itself. However, what stood out for me was that this was the first game that I had played which had in-game radio stations. Although this is something that is now de rigueur within this sub-genre, back then this was a novelty. The tracks were stored on the game CD but played selectively according to which radio station you were listening to when driving. The sound even broke up if you went into a tunnel. The songs were all original creations, rather than licensed properties. Although credited to faux bands and bogus artists, composer Richard Jacques wrote and arranged them all. I was especially fond of the Oasis inspired band Salford Quays and the track Live Your Life.
I was a teenager during the eighties and the music that I listened to at the time was a major part of my overall experience. My musical taste influenced how I dressed and sometimes even determined friendships. Going to a gig and seeing music performed live was a major rite of passage. Furthermore, due to there only being a handful of TV channels in the UK at the time, meant that certain key programs were responsible for the dissemination of a broad spectrum of musical genres. Hence, while you waited for a band that you liked to come on, you’d sit and be exposed to a wealth of different artists. Something that tends not to happen nowadays as there is far more choice available. My passion for music persisted throughout the nineties and then began to wane round about the turn of the century. Work and the practicalities of daily life made it increasingly difficult to “keep up”. I used to read the music press and know about contemporary artists. I no longer do this. I often don’t even know what the current Number 1 record is.
I try and keep abreast of what's happening and going on, especially in those areas of interest to me such as movies, TV and gaming etc. Occasionally stuff passes me by that I subsequently discover at a later date, often to the refrain of WTF? A few years ago I was idly channel surfing only to discover that a seminal UK children's TV show from my youth, the Mr. Men, had been remade in a more contemporary idiom. Luckily, the source characters were still relatively unscathed, and the revamped show did a competent job in bringing Roger Hargreaves work to a new generation. Still, no one had told me and discovering this, in such a fashion was a bit of a surprise.
Dead Heat (1988)
Throughout the eighties, two of the most commercially successful genres in Hollywood were buddy cop movies and horror films. Therefore it was inevitable that someone, somewhere would eventually combine them. Dead Heat is a comedy action movie with both horror and science fiction elements. If you think such an eclectic blend of themes is a little incongruous, then watching the movie will validate your assumption. All things considered, Dead Heat is a bit of a mess. However, despite its faults, of which there are several, it remains quite an enjoyable film. A textbook example of the over the top eighties action movie, utterly removed from established police procedures and indeed reality. It is also one of two feature films directed by renowned film editor, Mark Goldblatt, whose credits include Rambo: First Blood Part II, RoboCop and Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
Throughout the eighties, two of the most commercially successful genres in Hollywood were buddy cop movies and horror films. Therefore it was inevitable that someone, somewhere would eventually combine them. Dead Heat is a comedy action movie with both horror and science fiction elements. If you think such an eclectic blend of themes is a little incongruous, then watching the movie will validate your assumption. All things considered, Dead Heat is a bit of a mess. However, despite its faults, of which there are several, it remains quite an enjoyable film. A textbook example of the over the top eighties action movie, utterly removed from established police procedures and indeed reality. It is also one of two feature films directed by renowned film editor, Mark Goldblatt, whose credits include Rambo: First Blood Part II, RoboCop and Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
“Loose cannon” LAPD cops, Roger Mortis (Treat Williams) and Doug Bigelow (Joe Piscopo), are hot on the trail of a gang that are robbing jewellery stores. After a chaotic shootout the gang are shot dead and the subsequent autopsies by coroner Dr. Rebecca Smythers (Clare Kirkconnell) indicates that they were dead prior to the robberies. Doug and Roger follow a lead to Dante Pharmaceutical, a company owned by millionaire industrialist Arthur P. Laudermilk (Vincent Price). While investigating the company headquarters, Roger is attacked by another animated corpse. After suffocating in a decompression chamber, Roger is resurrected via an experimental machine that Rebecca and Doug have discovered in a secure laboratory. However, Roger’s new lifespan is only twelve hours, giving him little time to complete his investigation.
Dead Heat telegraphs exactly what sort of film it is within the first ten minutes. The reanimated thieves are dense comic foils to the cool detectives who endorse their clichéd credentials by driving around in a convertible and playing “upbeat rock music” (according to the Blu-ray subtitles). Treat Williams is the suit wearing straight guy, where Joe Piscopo is the “chews with his mouth open”, uncouth sidekick with a mullet. The latter of the two lead characters will either irritate or amuse you. The jokes are a bit hit and miss and due to the brevity of the theatrical edit, the story line doesn’t quite add up. There are several other versions of the film with some additional scenes that do make the plot a little more linear. However, the action scenes are suitably excessive and the prosthetic effects are very well realised. Sadly, many of them did not make it into the US theatrical version in their entirety due rating restrictions at the time.
Dead Heat is fast paced and never dull, with Treat Williams doing much of the heavy lifting. Veteran character actor Darren McGavin also delivers, despite the screenplays shortcomings and his limited screen time. Keye Luke (Gremlins) and Robert Picardo (Star Trek: Voyager) also have cameo appearances. But the standout scene of the entire film is when Roger and Doug follow a lead to a Chinese restaurant which has a prototype resurrection machine. This results in a multitude of items on the menu coming back to life and attacking our heroes. It is filled with old school, practical effects and is both unpleasant and droll. So if you can accommodate the plot holes, the tonal inconsistency and Joe Piscopo’s “love him or loathe him” performance, then Dead Heat may well amuse you. It is very much a product of its time and is the sort of film that would struggle to find a backer these days.
Exit 8 is a sophisticated and claustrophobic psychological thriller directed by Genki Kawamura, which skilfully transforms a minimalist indie walking-simulator game into a cinematic existential enigma. This overtly metaphorical film renders the repetitive nature and drudgery of modern working life into a physical environment in which the lead character is trapped and must find a way out. A random, brutal maze filled with an atmosphere of indifference to the lab rats that find themselves trapped within. Or is it their personal guilt that has put them there? Genki Kawamura’s psychological mystery draws inspiration from the Japanese video game of the same name, as well as from the cyclical nature of Groundhog Day and endless corridors of the Overlook Hotel in Kubrick’s The Shining. Although there are jump scares and some ghoulish imagery, this is not a horror vehicle. Instead this is a disquieting psychological drama with a strong sense of morality.
In 1968 the dilapidated freighter Corita hastily leaves Freetown to avoid a customs inspection. Captain Lansen (Eric Porter) has a cargo of dangerous explosives which he is smuggling so he can finally retire. His ship’s passengers also have reasons for leaving in a hurry. Dr. Webster (Nigel Stock), together with his daughter Unity (Suzanna leigh), is relocating due to his indiscretions with patients and illegal operations. Alcoholic pianist Harry Tyler (Tony Beckley) is aimlessly drifting from port to port. Eva Peters (Hildegard Knef) is fleeing from her husband with stolen bearer bonds which she intend to use to buy back her son from his evil clutches Caracas. Ricaldi (Ben Carruthers), a questionable lawyer, is pursuing Eva to retrieve the stolen bonds. First officer Hemmings (Neil McCallum) suggests that the ship should return to Freetown after an imminent Hurricane warning. The Captain asks the passengers and they are unanimous that they do not wish to return. However a mutinous crew, the bad weather and the instability of the explosives force everyone to abandon ship. The survivors find themselves adrift in a lifeboat surrounded by a strange carnivorous seaweed.
David Koepp is no stranger to genre cinema, having written the screenplay for such films as Jurassic Park, Spider-man and War of the Worlds. Where these titles are big budget, major studio productions, Cold Storage is a far more modest production with a smaller scope. Adapted from his own novel, the screenplay is by David Koepp and the film is directed by British film-maker Jonny Campbell. At first glance, Cold Storage seems a somewhat derivative science fiction horror film with a relatively modest budget, financed through a convoluted US and French co-production. Lurid green and red colours feature heavily in the marketing artwork and it is easy, after a cursory look, to write the film off as cheap, generic, direct-to-streaming filler. However, Cold Storage is prime example of why you should not judge a book by it’s cover, or in this case, a film by its posters and online advertising. It is in fact an amusing and fun endeavour that can fill an evening.
Despite being considered by many as an original story, The Abominable Snowman (1957) is in fact a remake of a made for television play, The Creature, that was originally broadcast in the UK in 1955. Hammer Films would often purchase the rights of popular TV programs and subsequently re-work them for mainstream, international cinema. Larger production budgets and fewer censorship restrictions allowed them to make their cinematic interpretations more lurid, thus commercially viable. Hence The Quatermass Xperiment, Quatermass II and Quatermass and the Pit were all given a big screen makeover and were commercially successful. The Abominable Snowman was written by acclaimed writer Nigel Kneale, who also wrote the original television drama and the aforementioned Quatermass trilogy. Although ostensibly marketed as a horror film this production is actually an interesting blend of psychological thriller and science fiction.
The Haunted Dolls House is a short film based on a story by M.R. James about a unique antique that is subject to supernatural phenomenon. Adapted by Stephen Gray and David Lilley, this is the third of three short films based upon James’ work that the pair have made. It stars Steven Dolton as Mr. Dillet, a collector of antique dolls houses, who acquires a bargain only to discover that it harbours a ghostly secret. Made on an extremely modest budget over the course of 2012 this clever, innovative and rather sinister adaptation is a fine example of short film creativity. It manages to offer a unique visual depiction of M.R. James’ classic story whilst capturing the unsettling quality of the author’s work. Like so many independently made short films it is clearly a labour of love, made with modest resources. It succinctly captures the spirit of the author’s work and is both innovative and rewarding.
A lot of people may know Luke Evans from the live action version of Beauty and the Beast or Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit trilogy. With his matinee idol good looks, charming Welsh demeanour and his “smoky” tenor singing voice, he projects a sense of old school stardom. Which brings us to No One Lives; a film which is a radical departure from his previous work. His performance is disconcerting to say the least and the film is somewhat unhinged. Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, who made an interesting adaptation of Clive Barker’s The Midnight Meat Train, this cinematic outing is similarly replete with robust shocks and gore. There are some interesting ideas about the nature of violence, Stockholm Syndrome and whether one should deny or embrace one’s nature. However, these are ultimately minor asides. Philosophical musings in between bouts of surprisingly striking unpleasantness.
In the near future, Kepler 822, a research and drilling facility located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, suffers a sudden and catastrophic structural failure. There are only six survivors. Mechanical engineer Norah Price (Kristen Stewart), Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel), biologist Emily Haversham (Jessica Henwick), engineer Liam Smith (John Gallagher Jr.) and crew members Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie) and Paul (T.J. Miller). As all the functional escape pods have been used and they are unable to contact the surface, the Captain suggests using pressurized suits to walk one mile across the ocean floor to the Roebuck 641 drill installation. There they will find more escape pods. However, it soon becomes apparent that the disaster was not caused by an undersea earthquake and that they are not alone as they make their journey.
In Buenos Aires, Clara (Natalia Señorales) hears voices emanating from the plughole in her kitchen sink. The voices seem to be plotting against her. Her husband Juan (Agustín Rittano) says the sounds are coming from next door. That night, Juan finds Clara’s dead body levitating in their bathroom, slamming against the wall by an invisible force. Meanwhile their neighbour, Walter (Demián Salomón), is experiencing supernatural occurrences while he tries to sleep. An invisible force repeatedly shakes his bed. After using a video camera to film these events, he sees a tall, cadaverous figure emerging from under the bed, standing over him as he sleeps. Across the road, Alicia (Julieta Vallina) is grieving for her recently deceased son, who was run over outside Walter’s house. Alicia's ex-boyfriend, police commissioner Funes (Maximiliano Ghione) calls Jano (Norberto Gonzalo), a paranormal investigator and the pair soon discover more supernatural occurrences in the area.
Black Sabbath (AKA I tre volti della paura) is a 1963 horror anthology film directed by Mario Bava. Although an Italian production, the film was co-financed by American International Pictures and as such was conceived to appeal to US audiences. Hence, the English dialogue edit of the film which was released in America differs significantly to the original Italian version. Despite the presence of the legendary Boris Karloff and the popularity of both anthology and gothic horror at the time,the film was only a modest success at the US box office and did not do well in Italy. However, in more recent years there has been a critical reappraisal of Black Sabbath, especially the Italian dialogue version. Many aspects of the film which are standard genre tropes today, were in fact novel at the time. Also despite the production mainly being studio bound, the film oozes style and has a striking visual aesthetic.
During 1836, in the town of Darkness Falls, Maine, an elderly widow Matilda Dixon is adored by the town’s children as she gives them a gold coin whenever they lose a tooth. One day, after a house fire, Matilda is left burned and sensitive to sunlight, so she starts wearing a china mask. When two children are reported missing, Matilda is blamed by some locals, dragged from her home and hung. She curses the town, stating that whenever a child loses their last tooth, she would come for it. If the child looks at her, she will kill them. The missing children are subsequently found, so the citizens cover up their unjust lynching. In 1990, young Kyle Walsh awakes one night to find Matilda Walsh standing over him. Kyle’s mother is killed and he is blamed for her death and institutionalised. 12 years later, Kyle (Channey Kley) is released and tries to warn the town of the imminent danger when lightning disables the power supply. He is ignored by all until the deaths begin.
Osgood Perkins has a distinct visual style and tone to his films. It is why his previous film, Longlegs, was such a welcome change from standard genre outings. It was atmospheric both visually and tonally, demonstrating a keen understanding of horror cinema. Hence he is the perfect director to helm this adaptation of a Stephen King short story. The plot is greatly expanded and the screenplay takes a lot of liberties with the source material but the main themes of your past being inescapable and the power of guilt remain front and centre. Due to the extreme and bizarre nature of much of the onscreen deaths, the film wisely has a strong streak of gallows humour running through it which is extremely well handled. Comedy can often be used to defuse or mitigate violence which can be narratively dishonest (think Fred Krueger). Here it adds to the cruel and capricious nature of the random deaths.
When reviewing Sting, one critic stated that the small scale setting and thus, low stakes (IE only a few peoples lives are at risk), made the film not especially memorable. I consider this to be a somewhat spurious criticism. It is the very fact that Sting takes place in such a commonplace environment, with the main characters being everyday people that makes it different. There is a clear focus on well defined characters and their backstory. Unlike so many contemporary films, I actually gave a damn about the protagonists in Sting. An integral aspect of the horror genre is the ability to take a well known and familiar trope and provide a different and absorbing spin on it .It would appear that some audiences have been belaboured over the head by so many overblown and bombastic blockbusters, that the very notion of depicting small, localised and intimate events in a film, seems to bamboozle them.
Some films are made with the intention of starting a franchise, others evolve into one after a surprise box office success and lucrative sequels. Alien (1979) falls into the latter category. A mid-budget science fiction horror film that was well crafted and then benefited immensely by being released at just the right time. Sadly, many franchises become derailed and enter into a death spiral due to competing artistic visions, cynical studio politics and cinematic ignorance. This has certainly afflicted all subsequent Alien films after James Cameron’s magnificent Aliens (1986). Sometimes, a franchise can correct its course and do something fresh with the source material. Prey (2022) is a fine example of this with director Dan Trachtenberg bringing fresh vigour and intelligence back to the Predator movies. I believe that was the intention with Alien Romulus (2024). Sadly, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is a popular entry among fans of the franchise. This is mainly due to the return of makeup artist, Tom Savini, who creates several notable death scenes and a bravura ending for Jason Voorhees. There is also an attempt by writer Barney Cohen to have a more involving story compared to previous entries in the series. Director Joseph Zito, who previously directed the above average slasher movie The Prowler AKA Rosemary’s Killer (1981), brings a harder edge to the proceedings, making Jason more menacing than in the previous instalment. As ever, the film was dismissed by the critics but performed well at the box office. Producer Frank Mancuso Jr fully intended for this film to be a definitive end to the series, as he was becoming increasingly concerned that his association with the franchise was having a negative impact upon his career.
Set directly after the events of the previous film, Friday the 13th Part III is again about a group of friends staying near Crystal Lake who encounter Jason Voorhees as he embarks upon another killing spree. Shot in 3D the film has a less sleazy tone than its predecessors although the formula remains the same. The set pieces and death scenes are more elaborate and less clinical, taking advantage of the 3D picture format. The film marks the first appearance of Jason's signature hockey mask, which subsequently became a trademark of both the character and the franchise. Originally conceived to be an end to the series of films, Friday the 13th Part III performed extremely well at the box office, earning $36.7 million on a budget of $2.2 million. As a result, the franchise was given a stay of execution and a further sequel was commissioned.
Originally, Friday the 13th Part 2 was intended to be an anthology film based on the superstition associated with the date. However, after the popularity of the original film's surprise ending, the producers opted to continue the story and mythology surrounding Camp Crystal Lake. This eventually became the parameters which all future films would broadly work within. Friday the 13th Part 2 is a more polished production than the first movie, benefitting from twice the budget of the original. The quick turnaround meant that Paramount Pictures could continue to capitalise on the popularity of the slasher genre. However, there was growing social pushback against these types of films, from Christian lobby groups and other “concerned parties”. Hence, Friday the 13th Part 2 ran into problems with the MPAA ratings board and cuts were imposed. Something that would continuously plague the franchise over the years.
Writing any kind of review for the original Friday the 13th movie seems somewhat redundant, as it has been analysed and written about numerous times before. If you’re interested in the film’s production as well as its subsequent impact on US cinema at the time, then there is an excellent summary on Wikipedia. Having recently rewatched the entire franchise, courtesy of the Shout Factory’s Friday the 13th Collection Deluxe Edition, I have a few thoughts I’d like to share. The picture quality of all the films is very good, offering a lot more visual information compared to previous releases. The amount of “extras” included in the box set is prodigious. I suspect that these are the best versions that we’re ever likely to see. Fans hoping that one day all the cut footage will be found and re-integrated into each film are likely to remain disappointed. Some material has surfaced but sadly a lot of deleted and extended scenes have been destroyed.
George A. Romero's Day Of The Dead (1985) is a bleak and remorseless masterpiece. The final entry in his “Dead Trilogy”, its central theme is that in a world on the brink of destruction, man is still the biggest threat to his own existence. It is well scripted, clinically accurate in its observations on human nature and thought provoking, despite having its budget cut just weeks before production commenced. 40 years later it is revered as a genre milestone and is considered one of Romero’s finest works. Sadly, the 2008 “remake” directed by Steve Miner, who has a background in slasher and exploitation movies, takes a contrasting approach, to say the least. It certainly has very little to do with Romero’s film and one can’t help but assume that it is nothing more than a cynical cash in. Setting aside comparisons with the original, this is not in any way a standout zombie film in its own right.
Although I was unaware of it, there was a guerrilla marketing campaign for Longlegs which was focused on the internet rather than traditional television adverts. Hence the film gained a lot of interest prior to its release and as well as some some disproportionate expectations. Then immediately after its theatrical debut, the matter was further compounded by a possible excess of gushing praise as the film was “over reviewed”. Therefore I maintained a degree of scepticism about Longlegs and tempered my expectations prior to watching it. Any film that is hailed as the next Silence of the Lambs, featuring a “traumatising” performance by Nicholas Cage needs to be keenly scrutinised so that its cinematic merits can be carefully separated from the surrounding hyperbole. After viewing I found Longlegs to be a finely honed, atmospheric and precisely targeted horror thriller but not the genre milestone that some would claim.
As a rule, it is always a challenge to end a trilogy of films successfully. Writing a satisfying denouement to a standalone movie is hard enough. To be able to conclude all pertinent story arcs and themes that have been sustained over three feature films, to everyone’s liking is far harder to achieve. In the case of The Final Conflict (1981), the last instalment of The Omen trilogy, writer Andrew Birkin does manage to resolve all of the external, internal and philosophical stakes, which are the fundamental components of a cinematic screenplay. Unfortunately, it is done in an incredibly underwhelming manner, which left audiences feeling cheated. The last time good defeated evil evil in such an unspectacular fashion was in Hammer’s To the Devil a Daughter (1976). This is why, in spite of solid production values, The Final Conflict is the least popular of the films about the Antichrist, Damien Thorn.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a film that often provokes a strong reaction from genre fans. This is mainly due to it not having any direct connection to the previous two films. The absence of Michael Myers in such a franchise was a serious mistake and the subsequent poor box office returns endorsed this. Yet if this film had been released as a separate product it may not have performed so poorly. After re-examining Halloween III: Season of the Witch there are many aspects of interest. Despite a troubled production, the film is an intriguing anomaly that tried to be different during a decade where the established horror formula was “stalk n' slash”. It does have a very bleak tone and some consider it to be mean spirited as the cast are killed off one by one. Perhaps theme of child sacrifice caused audiences to balk?
Ghostwatch is a controversial British horror “mockumentary” produced by the BBC that was first broadcast on October 31st 1992. Written by Stephen Volk and produced by Ruth Baumgarten it is now considered a milestone in UK broadcasting. This was mainly due to the strong reaction it provoked from the public, many of whom failed to grasp that it was a drama. At the time it raised serious questions about responsible programming and caused a furore in the British press. It has curiously never been shown since by the BBC. Ghostwatch remains a talking point to this day and is a text book example of the power of television as well as the publics enduring belief in the supernatural.
Event Horizon is a curious movie hybrid, mixing plot elements from classic sci-fi and horror genres. It has been labelled “Hellraiser in Space” by some lazy critics, although I think there's far more to it than that. Perhaps a more apt description would be a Gothic horror story set in space. The movie has garnered a cult reputation since its release in 1997, mainly due to its graphic imagery and troubled production history. It does indeed have some quite shocking sequences but the lightning editing does not show as much as some would think. Paramount forced director Paul W S Anderson to reduce the original one hundred and thirty minute running time down to a more manageable ninety, after unfavourable test screenings. Much of the violence was allegedly removed as a result of that process. Sadly nothing survives of the removed material other than a VHS workprint. Hence a restored director’s cut is therefore unlikely.
The peace of tranquillity of Santa Ynes, Utah, is shattered when the town becomes the focus of several hit and run deaths, by a mysterious and apparently driverless, black car. After the Sheriff (John Marley) is run down, it is down to Captain Wade Parent (James Brolin) and his deputies to protect the town from this sinister threat. Is the car simply a driven by a mad man or is there a more supernatural explanation? When the car menaces a local school marching band, the teachers and students take refuge in the nearby cemetery. Does the cars inability to enter consecrated ground provide a clue to its otherworldly origins and offer a potential solution? As the death count increases and the population becomes more fearful, the Captain and his team of deputies form a desperate plan to see if they can lure the car into a trap.
The key to success in the horror genre is to try and find an innovative new angle on tried and tested themes and tropes. The Night Flier is an often-overlooked gem, that takes a unique perspective on vampirism and features strong performances as well as an intelligent and thoughtful screenplay. It builds a sense of foreboding during it’s first two acts and teases audiences with some unpleasant prosthetic effects, courtesy of KNB EFX Group. The climax of the movie is both thought provoking and suitably unpleasant. Furthermore, The Night Flier even manages to make a coherent criticism of tabloid culture and morals of those journalists working in the industry. It’s a damn shame that this modest but well-crafted genre movie didn’t get the attention it deserved when it was initially released in 1997.
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors was the first portmanteau horror movie by Amicus Productions. The small British studio was founded by producers and screenwriters Milton Subotsky and Max Rosenberg. As the horror genre grew in popularity due to the success of Hammer films, Amicus saw the potential in the portmanteau format. Subotsky in particular held Ealing Studios 1945 classic Dead of Night in very high regard. Although only a modest budget movie, Dr. Terror's House of Horrors proved to be financially successful and led to a series of similarly structured films over the next decade. These included Torture Garden (1967), The House That Dripped Blood (1970), Asylum (1972), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), From Beyond the Grave (1974),
Ghost Story is a deliberately superficial adaptation of the novel by Peter Straub. If you’ve read the book and are expecting a verbatim retelling of the plot, then you will be disappointed. It’s complex narrative structure and the abundance of characters do not immediately lend themselves to mainstream film making. However, if you like tales of the supernatural and solid performances from Hollywood legends, then this may well be for you. John Irvin has always been a workman like director and has therefore often been overlooked. Films such as Hamburger Hill and When Trumpets Fade show a great deal of focus and a clear understanding of the mechanics of cinema.
The Ruins is similar to both The Mist and Cloverfield , which were released around the same time, in so far that it is rather bleak and unrelenting movie. And like the aforementioned films, its strength lies in the manner in which it tackles the subject of people facing their own death in a credible fashion. In The Ruins the protagonists when faced with the prospect of their own demise quickly descend in to panic and resolutely refuse to face facts. Although these are negative themes that may not be to everyone’s tastes, they make The Ruins both gripping and genuinely scary.
Nightmares (1983)
Due to the commercial success of George A. Romero’s Creepshow in 1982 and the Twilight Zone: The Movie in 1983, there was a resurgence of anthology horror films in the eighties and nineties. Nightmares is one of many “portmanteau movies” that followed and is neither the worst, or the best that the genre has to offer. Originally conceived as a pilot for a NBC TV show, the completed film was deemed too “intense” for television and eventually released theatrically with an “R” rating. Judged by today’s standards, it is not especially violent and the strongest content is in the first chapter of the four part story. Written by Jeffrey Bloom and Christopher Crowe, both of whom have a background in popular seventies television, Nightmares has the look and feel of a TV production.
Due to the commercial success of George A. Romero’s Creepshow in 1982 and the Twilight Zone: The Movie in 1983, there was a resurgence of anthology horror films in the eighties and nineties. Nightmares is one of many “portmanteau movies” that followed and is neither the worst, or the best that the genre has to offer. Originally conceived as a pilot for a NBC TV show, the completed film was deemed too “intense” for television and eventually released theatrically with an “R” rating. Judged by today’s standards, it is not especially violent and the strongest content is in the first chapter of the four part story. Written by Jeffrey Bloom and Christopher Crowe, both of whom have a background in popular seventies television, Nightmares has the look and feel of a TV production.
The first story, Terror in Topanga, follows a homicidal patient who escapes from a mental institution and attacks a police officer. Meanwhile, chain smoking housewife Lisa (Christina Raines) drives to the local store to buy cigarettes. Will their paths cross? The second chapter, The Bishop of Battle, follows teenager J.J. (Emilio Estevez) obsessive battle to reach the mysterious thirteenth level of a video game in his local arcade. J. J. learns that all is not quite as it appears. The third chapter, The Benediction, stars Lance Henriksen as priest Frank MacLeod, who leaves his parish after a crisis of faith. He is stalked on a remote desert road by a black pickup truck that has murderous intent and potentially supernatural origins. The final chapter, Night of the Rat, features a suburban family (Richard Masur, Veronica Cartwright and Brigette Andersen) being menaced by a particularly large and intelligent rat.
Nightmares is efficiently directed by veteran filmmaker Joseph Sargent. However, the inherent problem with portmanteau films is ensuring that all stories are equally engaging. Sadly that is not the case here. Terror in Topanga is the most efficient of the four chapters. It sets out its stall and delivers a suitable climax to its story arc. But the next instalment, The Bishop of Battle is a major tonal shift from horror to fantasy and an obvious and uninspired tale. The Benediction offers a variation on an established theme (see Duel or The Car) but is carried by the presence of Lance Henriksen. Night of the Rat, which was intended to be the bravura ending to Nightmares, is somewhat stilted due to a weak script and an unlikeable lead character. Yet despite these inconsistencies Nightmares doesn’t out stay its 99 minute running time. It manages to get its pacing right. Something other anthologies often fail to do.
When viewed with a contemporary eye, Nightmares has some interesting points of interest. Setting aside the trope of the escaped murderer, Terror in Topanga uses smoking as a central plot device. Something that seems somewhat archaic today. The Bishop of Battle provides a window not only on arcade culture from the eighties but touches upon hardcore punk, with songs by Black Flag and Fear. The Benediction features a truck stunt that was used heavily in the marketing of the film. Such a thing would nowadays be done digitally, but here it is a physical effect and more impressive for it. Overall, Nightmares now serves mainly as a nostalgic reminder of the popularity of the anthology genre during the horror boom of the eighties. It is an amusing diversion for those well disposed towards such material and may play better to those who grew up during this era.
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors was the first portmanteau horror movie by Amicus Productions. The small British studio was founded by producers and screenwriters Milton Subotsky and Max Rosenberg. As the horror genre grew in popularity due to the success of Hammer films, Amicus saw the potential in the portmanteau format. Subotsky in particular held Ealing Studios 1945 classic Dead of Night in very high regard. Although only a modest budget movie, Dr. Terror's House of Horrors proved to be financially successful and led to a series of similarly structured films over the next decade. These included Torture Garden (1967), The House That Dripped Blood (1970), Asylum (1972), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), From Beyond the Grave (1974),
Due to the commercial success of George A. Romero’s Creepshow in 1982 and the Twilight Zone: The Movie in 1983, there was a resurgence of anthology horror films in the eighties and nineties. Nightmares is one of many “portmanteau movies” that followed and is neither the worst, or the best that the genre has to offer. Originally conceived as a pilot for a NBC TV show, the completed film was deemed too “intense” for television and eventually released theatrically with an “R” rating. Judged by today’s standards, it is not especially violent and the strongest content is in the first chapter of the four part story. Written by Jeffrey Bloom and Christopher Crowe, both of whom have a background in popular seventies television, Nightmares has the look and feel of a TV production.
Directed by Roger Corman, Tales of Terror is an anthology horror film based upon three short stories by Edgar Allan Poe. “Morella”, “The Black Cat” and “The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar”. Adapted by Richard Matheson, the screenplay offers a ghoulish tale of revenge, a humorous story of a drunk who murders his wife and her lover and a sinister story of a mesmerist who hypnotises a terminally ill man at the point of death. Deftly produced and looking far more sumptuous than you’d expect from such a modest budget film, Tales of Terror benefits from a strong cast of old school, Hollywood character actors. The anthology format affords each story a fairly prompt and ghoulish climax and as ever with the films of Roger Corman from this period, visual creativity and innovation elevate the proceedings above the standard exploitation fare of the time.
I have a soft spot for portmanteau horror films, especially those made in the UK during the seventies. They often have an impressive cast of character actors and offer a snapshot of fashion, culture and sensibilities from the times. However, their weakness often lies with the inconsistency of the various stories. These can range from the outstanding, to what can best be described as filler. Furthermore, although the latter category have just as short a running time as the other vignettes, it is always the poor ones that seem to drag and disrupt the flow of the film. Tales That Witness Madness does not suffer too badly from this problem. Out of the four stories that are featured two stand out and two others are just average and not overtly bad. However, irrespective of potential narrative inconsistencies, there are some good ideas and a ghoulish streak running throughout the fill’s ninety minute running time.
Crawl (2019)
It is no secret that the film industry relies on a handful of common tropes as the mainstay of their cinematic output. It uses timeless themes, storylines and archetypes that have featured in folk tales, plays and literature throughout history. Hence their familiarity with audiences around the world. Where the skill in filmmaking lies is to take a common, well known idea and interpret it in a new and innovative fashion. Akira Kurosawa took Shakespeare’s MacBeth and retold the tale through the prism of Japanese feudalistic culture. The result, Throne of Blood, is considered a masterpiece. Similarly, The Lion King retells the same story through the medium of animation and anthropomorphic wildlife. All of which proves that the key to successfully retelling a familiar tale is to be creative with regard to setting, presentation and perspective.
It is no secret that the film industry relies on a handful of common tropes as the mainstay of their cinematic output. It uses timeless themes, storylines and archetypes that have featured in folk tales, plays and literature throughout history. Hence their familiarity with audiences around the world. Where the skill in filmmaking lies is to take a common, well known idea and interpret it in a new and innovative fashion. Akira Kurosawa took Shakespeare’s MacBeth and retold the tale through the prism of Japanese feudalistic culture. The result, Throne of Blood, is considered a masterpiece. Similarly, The Lion King retells the same story through the medium of animation and anthropomorphic wildlife. All of which proves that the key to successfully retelling a familiar tale is to be creative with regard to setting, presentation and perspective.
Which neatly brings me to Crawl. A creature feature where the central “McGuffin” is a group of people trapped by wayward wildlife. Hollywood has explored this plot device many times before. Consider The Naked Jungle (1954) in which Charlton Heston faces a swarm of South American ants. Then there is Hitchcock’s The Birds (1963). More recently Bait (2012) features a group of people trapped in a flooded supermarket along with a Great White Shark after a tsunami. Crawl (2019) has a father and daughter trapped in a house during a hurricane. Due to the Florida setting the dangerous beasties are Alligators on this occasion. What makes the film a cut above the average genre outing is a solid script with plausible characters and a decent cast that give life to the proceedings. Director Alexandre Aja builds a genuine sense of tension and punctuates the 87 minute running time with some robust set pieces.
Filmed in Belgrade, the production seamlessly recreates Florida. The digital effects convincingly depict a hurricane and the Alligators are a mixture of animatronics and CGI. But the film’s greatest assets are the main performances by Kaya Scodelario as Haley Keller and Barry Pepper as Dave Keller. Daughter Haley is an aspiring swimmer and her estranged father Dave is her former coach. The screenplay by Michael Rasmussen and Shawn Rasmussen keeps the scope of the narrative simple and immediate, resulting in a plausible family dynamic. The wider cast is minimal and although some characters are merely “red shirts” intended to expedite the threat of the Alligators with their timely deaths, the screenplay doesn’t treat them in a totally arbitrary fashion. The scenes of violence, are well realised, suspenseful and surprisingly unpleasant.
Crawl is content to stick within the parameters it has set itself and concentrates on telling its story to the best of its ability. There is an assumption from some critics that genre movies are by their nature, no more than the sum of their parts. Those with a more enlightened perspective believe that all types of film can craft well told stories and explore deep themes. Crawl is a prime example of an old story told from a fresh and different perspective. Yes, it does include horror elements but that is not all that it has to offer. At its heart this is a film about the perennial theme of fathers and daughters, which Crawl explores this well. It also has a point to make about climate change. However, if you’re just looking for a quality creature feature, complete with jump scares and grisly shocks, then the film also delivers this in spades.
In 1968 the dilapidated freighter Corita hastily leaves Freetown to avoid a customs inspection. Captain Lansen (Eric Porter) has a cargo of dangerous explosives which he is smuggling so he can finally retire. His ship’s passengers also have reasons for leaving in a hurry. Dr. Webster (Nigel Stock), together with his daughter Unity (Suzanna leigh), is relocating due to his indiscretions with patients and illegal operations. Alcoholic pianist Harry Tyler (Tony Beckley) is aimlessly drifting from port to port. Eva Peters (Hildegard Knef) is fleeing from her husband with stolen bearer bonds which she intend to use to buy back her son from his evil clutches Caracas. Ricaldi (Ben Carruthers), a questionable lawyer, is pursuing Eva to retrieve the stolen bonds. First officer Hemmings (Neil McCallum) suggests that the ship should return to Freetown after an imminent Hurricane warning. The Captain asks the passengers and they are unanimous that they do not wish to return. However a mutinous crew, the bad weather and the instability of the explosives force everyone to abandon ship. The survivors find themselves adrift in a lifeboat surrounded by a strange carnivorous seaweed.
Despite being considered by many as an original story, The Abominable Snowman (1957) is in fact a remake of a made for television play, The Creature, that was originally broadcast in the UK in 1955. Hammer Films would often purchase the rights of popular TV programs and subsequently re-work them for mainstream, international cinema. Larger production budgets and fewer censorship restrictions allowed them to make their cinematic interpretations more lurid, thus commercially viable. Hence The Quatermass Xperiment, Quatermass II and Quatermass and the Pit were all given a big screen makeover and were commercially successful. The Abominable Snowman was written by acclaimed writer Nigel Kneale, who also wrote the original television drama and the aforementioned Quatermass trilogy. Although ostensibly marketed as a horror film this production is actually an interesting blend of psychological thriller and science fiction.
In the near future, Kepler 822, a research and drilling facility located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, suffers a sudden and catastrophic structural failure. There are only six survivors. Mechanical engineer Norah Price (Kristen Stewart), Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel), biologist Emily Haversham (Jessica Henwick), engineer Liam Smith (John Gallagher Jr.) and crew members Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie) and Paul (T.J. Miller). As all the functional escape pods have been used and they are unable to contact the surface, the Captain suggests using pressurized suits to walk one mile across the ocean floor to the Roebuck 641 drill installation. There they will find more escape pods. However, it soon becomes apparent that the disaster was not caused by an undersea earthquake and that they are not alone as they make their journey.
One of the most common objections raised regarding the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World franchise is that the films are specifically made to obtain a PG-13 rating from the Motion Picture Association, for purely commercial reasons. Hence, in all films, there is little on screen violence and the dinosaurs are mainly portrayed as a threat and a means of providing jump scares. When a character is killed by a dinosaur it usually happens off screen, is obscured by something else in frame, or is shown in long shot with very little detail. The realities of being eaten alive by a predator are conspicuously absent. Hence, audiences looking for films featuring more graphic dinosaur attacks, have not been well catered for apart from some minor direct-to-video titles. Primitive War finally fills this gap in the market with a frenetic genre mashup that strives to punch above is budgetary weight.
Fluke is a curious film about a man who is reincarnated as a dog and his subsequent realisation that he may have been murdered. It takes an adult novel by British author James Herbert, which is filled with philosophical musing and strives to adapt it in a far more family friendly fashion. The result is a somewhat bipolar production which thematically alternates between existential introspection and Buddhism. It then strives to deliver its message in a Disneyesque idiom. Children will potentially be confused and upset by what they see and adults will be wrongfooted by the continual shift in tone. Fluke was not a critical or commercial success upon release and the flaws that were identified by critics at the time still ring true today. That being said, Fluke is still an interesting and entertaining film, despite its faults.
When reviewing Sting, one critic stated that the small scale setting and thus, low stakes (IE only a few peoples lives are at risk), made the film not especially memorable. I consider this to be a somewhat spurious criticism. It is the very fact that Sting takes place in such a commonplace environment, with the main characters being everyday people that makes it different. There is a clear focus on well defined characters and their backstory. Unlike so many contemporary films, I actually gave a damn about the protagonists in Sting. An integral aspect of the horror genre is the ability to take a well known and familiar trope and provide a different and absorbing spin on it .It would appear that some audiences have been belaboured over the head by so many overblown and bombastic blockbusters, that the very notion of depicting small, localised and intimate events in a film, seems to bamboozle them.
When I first saw Mimic in 1997, I was impressed by the fact that it offered a different perspective on the monster movie genre and that it seemed to have moments of greater depth than you'd expect from such material. Later on when I became more aware of the works of writer, director Guillermo del Toro, I learned that this movie had had a troubled production and that Miramx had imposed specific requirements upon the final cut of the film. This explained some of the movies inconsistencies and hinted at a far more ambitious artistic endeavour by del Toro. Initially Mimic was conceived as a thirty minute short and part of a three part anthology movie. However it along with the sci-fi film Imposter were both deemed to be of sufficient merit to be developed into feature length productions.
During the seventies, Hollywood started looking to ongoing societal and political concerns as a source of material for movies. Hence, the energy crisis, terrorism and global pollution quickly found themselves being subsumed into hastily written screenplays, in attempt to be topical, commercially successful and relevant. Prophecy based upon a novel by David Seltzer tackled not only the issue of pollution but also the ongoing disenfranchisement of Native Americans. Paramount studios went so far as hiring an established director of note, John Frankenheimer. In many respects this movie should have been a bigger success with a reasonable budget, robust cast and studio support. Sadly it did not fare well, either critically or at the box office due to obvious flaws in the production. Despite his outstanding body work, (Birdman of Alcatraz, The Manchurian Candidate) Frankenheimer was not the best choice of director for a genre movie such as this and he was also going through a period of alcoholism.
In Agua Dulce, California, the Haywood family trains horses for film and TV productions. One day at the Haywood ranch, small metal objects unaccountably fall from the sky. One of which, a nickel, kills Otis Haywood Sr (Keith David). His children, Emerald “Em” Haywood (Keke Palmer) and Otis “OJ” Haywood Jr. (Daniel Kaluuya), continue to run the business. However, due to the loss of a contract, they have to sell some of the horses to Ricky “Jupe” Park (Steven Yeun), who operates a Western theme park called Jupiter's Claim. One night, the Haywood’s notice the electricity supply fluctuating and their horses violently reacting to an unknown presence. They discover that something has been taking their horses and regurgitating inorganic matter, which OJ believes caused their father's death. The Haywood’s decide to obtain proof and subsequently ask electronics store employee and UFO enthusiast, Angel Torres (Brandon Perea) to set up surveillance cameras.
Back in 2018 I wrote the following about The Meg in my review. “My interest doesn’t go so far as a sequel. This sort of movie is the equivalent of a greasy burger you buy at the funfair. It’s fine once in a while as an indulgence, despite the fact that you know it’s bad, but you would soon tire of them being a regular part of my diet”. Five years later, I foolishly thought it may be “fun” to give the sequel, Meg 2: The Trench (2023), a go. Especially in light of the fact that it’s directed by Ben Wheatley. Surely such a filmmaker would bring some creativity and a fresh perspective to this franchise? Nope. Turns out he didn’t. Meg 2: The Trench lacks everything that made its predecessor tolerable. This superfluous sequel is an uninspired, poorly written mess which confuses turning everything up to eleven with entertainment. It gets nowhere near “it’s so bad, it’s good” territory. Instead it makes the biggest mistake a film of this nature can do. It’s dull.
Not to be confused with the Shaw Brothers martial arts film of the same name from 1978, The Deadly Mantis (1957) is a creature feature in the idiom of Them! (1954). Unlike that film’s mutant ants, the monster on this occasion is not the product of the atomic age but a giant prehistoric praying mantis that has been released from the polar ice caps. Exactly how a creature associated with more tropical regions came to be at the North Pole is never explained. In fact precious little is in The Deadly Mantis. The film’s overall scope is somewhat limited with a basic story, limited action scenes and a rather dull cast of generic characters. There is an over reliance upon stock footage from period military documentaries and previous Universal Studio feature films. The film’s biggest failing is the giant praying mantis which does most of its rampaging conveniently off camera. It’s all rather disappointing.
It is no secret that the film industry relies on a handful of common tropes as the mainstay of their cinematic output. It uses timeless themes, storylines and archetypes that have featured in folk tales, plays and literature throughout history. Hence their familiarity with audiences around the world. Where the skill in filmmaking lies is to take a common, well known idea and interpret it in a new and innovative fashion. Akira Kurosawa took Shakespeare’s MacBeth and retold the tale through the prism of Japanese feudalistic culture. The result, Throne of Blood, is considered a masterpiece. Similarly, The Lion King retells the same story through the medium of animation and anthropomorphic wildlife. All of which proves that the key to successfully retelling a familiar tale is to be creative with regard to setting, presentation and perspective.
Jurassic World Dominion is a textbook example of a franchise that has run out of steam. Despite the enormous budget, the top notch production values and the presence of three members of the original cast, this is a long, tedious and curiously uneventful film. It has nothing new to say about environmental matters or unfettered science; themes that were front and centre in previous instalments. Nor does it do anything interesting with the main plot device of dinosaurs trying to integrate into our current ecosystems. But perhaps its biggest failing is the conspicuous lack of tension. The denizens of Jurassic World are simply not a threat and fail to have any emotional impact. The film doesn’t even placate viewers with superfluous cast members being eaten. The onscreen deaths by dinosaurs are rather tame.
Set in Brazil in 1901, plantation owner Christopher Leiningen (Charlton Heston) makes arrangements to get married. He has spent his entire life building his estate and reclaiming land from the jungle. He is fiercely independent but he is also alone and isolated. Joanna Selby (Eleanor Parker) from New Orleans agrees to marry him but their first meeting does not go well. Leiningen is unhappy to discover that Joanna is a widow and hence has a past, so he tells her to return to America on the next available boat. However, local commissioner (William Conrad) informs Leiningen that swarming soldier ants, or Marabunta, are moving towards his plantation destroying everything in their path. Leiningen refuses to abandon his life’s work and is surprised when Joanna decides to stay with him. Can they convince their native workers to stay too and can they defend the estate from the Marabunta, described as “forty square miles of agonising death”.
After the critical and commercial success of Jaws in 1975, a veritable tsunami of “creature feature” movies followed in its wake. A few titles, such as Alligator (1980) and Piranha (1978) managed to do something different with the rogue animal trope, both providing a quirky and satirical look at the genre along with plenty of exploitation mayhem. However, most of the rest were low budget productions of negligible quality. However, such qualities are not always an impediment at the box office. Grizzly (1976) was hastily made on a budget of $750,000 yet earned an impressive $39,000,000 at the box office. The critics hated it but the public loved it and it went on to be the second most financially successful independent feature film in the US that year (the first being Monty Python and the Holy Grail). Grizzly is in many ways a microcosm of the exploitation genre from the seventies and needs to be viewed through that prism if it is to be enjoyed.
The seventies saw a minor boom in creature feature films after the box office success of Jaws. Hence, we had movies such as Orca (1977), Tentacles (1977), The Pack (1977) and Piranha (1978). If an animal could eat you or potentially pose any threat to people, someone somewhere would make a movie about it. Usually a bad one. A few of these even dared to stray into other hot topics of the time such as pollution and protecting the environment. Some would even invoke mysticism and folk lore to facilitate their protagonists. Nightwing is one such curious genre hybrid which combines vampire bats, shale oil mining and Native American culture in its clumsy and unsubtle plot. It’s a somewhat odd undertaking, directed by Arthur Hiller. His previous work included Love Story (1970) and Silver Streak (1976), so he was not the first person you’d expect to see associated with such material. The film doesn’t work well as either a horror movie or an exploration of social issues, but like so many movies from this era, it is of interest mainly due to its sheer incongruity.
If you have seen any of the marketing material or trailers for The Meg, then you know exactly what you’re getting right from the get-go. All movies inherently require the viewer to suspend their sense of disbelief to various degrees. Naturally, the “creature feature” genre asks audience to go the extra mile with this concept. The Meg takes a major gamble by insisting that everyone goes further still, not by believing in a giant prehistoric shark (Megalodon) but that Jason Statham is a ex-navy, deep sea rescue diver. However, it pays off and the resulting movie is staggeringly stupid, but mercifully entertaining in an undemanding way. Recent movies such as Into the Storm and Geostorm are crass and made worse by their implicit assumption that their viewers are stupid. The Meg is far from cerebral but has an upbeat tone and a sense of playfulness that knowingly invites the audience to come aboard with the silliness. It’s a big distinction and the reason why I smiled a lot and frequently rolled my eyes while watching The Meg, but never with derision.
Critical opinion was very much split this summer when Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was released. However, the viewers were somewhat indifferent to the opinions of the professional critics and the movie made a healthy $1,303,476,615 globally, proving once again that the public’s’ continuing love affair with “all things dinosaur” shows no sign of abating. When you factor in the home media market into overall profits, the entire Jurassic Park franchise will have made $5 billion worldwide. So, bearing in mind the old adage that “money talks and bullshit walks”, I think it’s safe to say there’ll be more instalments in the years to come. When faced with such overwhelming box office popularity it seems somewhat pointless to dissect the latest movie, because the film seems to be bullet proof regardless of narrative flaws or ill-conceived plot devices. However, film criticism isn’t about box office popularity but about analysing the relative quality of a movie’s construction and its subsequent standing.
I first saw The Land That Time Forgot way back in 1975 at the Odeon Isle of Wight, when it was first released. We were on holiday at the time, which was cause for celebration in itself, as these were few and far between during my youth, due to the state of the UK economy at the time. But to then go to the cinema and see a fantasy film, filled with action, adventure and monsters, was the icing on the cake for an over excited eight-year-old. Adapted by Michael Moorcock and James Cawthorn from the 1924 the novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Land That Time Forgot is a classic example of high adventure on a low budget. Its technical shortcomings were even apparent to me as a child, yet there was a charm and honesty to this curious British production, that had the audacity to try and compete with the likes of more expensive US productions such as The Golden Voyage of Sinbad and Island at the Top of the World.
Black Sheep is a high concept horror comedy from New Zealand. Featuring creative physical effects by Weta Workshop, this tale of genetically modified killer sheep, animal husbandry and environmentalism requires a very broad sense of humour and an abiding love for the “creature feature” sub-genre. It should be noted that the copy I watched was the unrated R1 DVD. This version is stronger in content than the R rated US theatrical release and yet was released at the UK cinemas with only a 15 rating from the BBFC. I suspect that the similarities in humour between the UK and New Zealand contributed to this somewhat low rating. That and the fact that horror comedy often gets a free pass because the humour always tends to mitigate the violence.
Frank Darabont achieved both critical acclaim and mass appeal with his adaptations of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. In 2007 he returned once again to the work of Stephen King with his film version of The Mist. It’s a sideways step away from human drama into a more genre piece, yet it still retains a very traditional story at its heart. Once you look beyond the superficial elements of "creature feature" plot, you get yet another well written character study by an ensemble cast, again focusing on how the human condition deals with extreme situations. The particular route it takes and some of the themes it explores may not be to everyone's taste. However, it still focuses on characters and performances. It is also a movie that ends with a somewhat unexpected plot development, that some viewers may find a little extreme. It is one of those film related twists that if known in advance, greatly diminishes once enjoyment of the film.
When you see the names of such cinematic luminaries as Steven Spielberg and J.J. Abrams together on the same movie poster, naturally your expectations are going to be high. Yet when watching the various trailers for Super 8, just prior to its release in 2011, I was somewhat cautious. I have discussed in the past at some length the ambiguous nature of trailers and that they can misrepresent a film. Yet even bearing this in mind at the time, I couldn’t help but feel that Super 8 seemed like a somewhat self-indulgent homage to Spielberg's earlier work. I subsequently saw the movie at the cinema in August that year and my suspicions were validated. However, over time I have spoken to several friends who are advocates of the movie, so I thought I’d watch it a second time. Sadly, I still find myself unable to label Super 8 as anything else other than adequate. Now I would hasten to add, that I use adequate within the context of both director’s body of work. An adequate film from either Mr Spielberg or Abrams is still superior to many of their competitors. But that's not the point. I simply expected better from such a project.
Having recently sat through Orcs! I decided to take a further chance and watch Orc Wars. It too is a very low budget film, although this time the finances were raised through crowdfunding. Sadly, it is not the fun, tongue in cheek, independent adventure movie the trailer and associated marketing implies. There is very little merit in this production. It's cheap, cheerful and although harmless, it clearly demonstrates that not all fan funded projects are good cinema. Some are just indulgences. The problem is in the title itself, which tries to sell an idea that the movie production is incapable of delivering. Instead of the spectacle of an army of a thousand Orcs pitted against the technological might of the US war machine, we get a few extras in ill-fitting costumes, running skirmishes against no-name actors on quad bikes and a few old Army Surplus vehicles. It's all rather lacklustre and underwhelming.
As a fan of the horror genre I’ve sat through numerous low budget films in my time. This has usually been at festivals or conventions. Sometimes watching something as part of a group, with likeminded individuals, makes a difference. You find yourself groaning in unison and the shared experience helps compensate for potential deficiencies. Watching questionable material in the comfort of your own home, purely on your own can be a lot tougher. However, due to my abiding love of the genre, I am prepared to cut a lot of cheap ass indie flicks considerably more slack than I would others. So, I'll endeavour to review Orcs! with as much impartiality as possible. Oh, and before we start, let us clarify the term Orcs. Although Middle-earth is not referenced in any way, this film is definitely about Tolkien's creations. Or at least their depiction in another well-known series of films.
10 Cloverfield Lane blends several cinematic genres producing an interesting premise. Once it has established its narrative arc, it then dives head long into an exciting and tense one hundred and four minutes. The movie is not a direct sequel to Cloverfield (2008) but does touch upon some of the same themes and ideas. Made on a modest budget of $15 million, the claustrophobic setting of a nuclear bunker accommodates strong performances from the lead actors. It is not until the third act when the story movies back to the outside world, do we see any major visual effects. Overall, this is a very compelling film due to the strong screenplay and well defined central characters.
I did my best to avoid the hype surrounding the initial release of Cloverfield. Such media saturation and public interest can often cloud the issue of whether the actual film is any good. Five years later and having watched the movie twice, once in the theatre and once at home, I am still somewhat conflicted about this movie. The use of hand held video cameras is both a boon and a bane. The constant movement of the image has proven to cause motion sickness for some viewers, although this is not so overwhelming when viewed on a smaller screen at home. Yet the medium of news footage mixed with handheld cameras does create a palpable sense of immediacy. This helps immensely when trying to sell a fantastic concept, such as the one that Cloverfield features.
The enigma of the Xenomorph in the Alien franchise is diminished once you start to rationalise its heritage. Sadly, that’s exactly what Alien: Covenant has chosen to do. It jettisons the mystery of the original 1979 movie and pulls back the curtain, so wisely put in place thirty-eight years ago, to reveal a rather lacklustre explanation to the Xenomorph’s origin. Having spent nearly $100 million and employed a production team of some of the finest talent that money can buy, the resulting movie is not bad per se, just crushingly superfluous. After watching Alien: Covenant this week, my overall reaction can be distilled down to a deep sigh of indifference and a shrug of the shoulders.
I have written many times in recent years about how big titles get announced by the gaming industry, of the ensuing hype up that leads up to launch day and then the subsequent disappointment on purchase. It is a malady that has afflicted the movie industry for decades and has become increasingly more common in the last decade. Hype has a curious link with reputation. There are a handful of directors in contemporary Hollywood who when they add their name to a production, people take notice. Ridley Scott is one of these. His body of work pretty much guarantees he can make whatever he wants, be it a commercial undertaking or a ludicrous vanity project. However, the downside to being a film maker of this stature is that you are not so easily exposed to proper scrutiny by your peers. No one stops you from making a mistake because you are supposed to know what you are doing. They let you do what you want. Which is bad.
How Important is Your Operator Skin?
I don’t mind buying an occasional bundle from the store in DMZ, although it is often the weapon blueprint that determines my choice. Today I bought Overgrown 2, which includes the Ghillie Monster operator skin, to see if it offered any significant advantage. However, as I am not what you would call a “top tier” player, my subsequent experience and anecdotal evidence is hardly compelling. If you go prone in the desert, a shrubbery or among general herbidacious flora then it does offer a degree of camouflage. However, in suburban areas and the outlying villages of Al Mazrah, you look like a Wookie on a daytrip and I can’t see any advantage. So upon reflection, two questions spring to mind. Firstly, do any of the skins currently available in the game offer any tangible benefits? If not is it just a question of operator skins are 100% cosmetic and just about tickling a players fancy and getting them to put their hand in their pockets.
I don’t mind buying an occasional bundle from the store in DMZ, although it is often the weapon blueprint that determines my choice. Today I bought Overgrown 2, which includes the Ghillie Monster operator skin, to see if it offered any significant advantage. However, as I am not what you would call a “top tier” player, my subsequent experience and anecdotal evidence is hardly compelling. If you go prone in the desert, a shrubbery or among general herbidacious flora then it does offer a degree of camouflage. However, in suburban areas and the outlying villages of Al Mazrah, you look like a Wookie on a daytrip and I can’t see any advantage. So upon reflection, two questions spring to mind. Firstly, do any of the skins currently available in the game offer any tangible benefits? If not is it just a question of operator skins are 100% cosmetic and just about tickling a players fancy and getting them to put their hand in their pockets.
As to the tangible, practical benefits of specific operator skins, I am not aware of any hard data on the matter. The only observations I can bring to bear on the subject are those born out of common experience. IE What we can all see. As previously mentioned, ghillie suits do offer some camouflage in appropriate areas, depending on their respective colour. Similarly outfits that are predominantly black have benefits in darker areas and at extreme range. Ashika Island with its underground network and closely packed buildings favours darker coloured operator skins. Traditional operator skins featuring regular camouflage military apparel also follow suit. But these minor benefits do not make a player undetectable. A thermal scope on a weapon or a handheld spotter device reveals players regardless.
All the benefits listed above are situational and as DMZ feature a multitude of ecosystems, a green ghillie suit will only be beneficial in a limited amount of regions. It will potentially stand out due to contrast in others. And it is this latter point that may be the Achilles Heel of purely cosmetic operator skins. Especially those operator skins that are excessively colourful, and flamboyant. As Call of Duty frequently licences content from major pop culture franchises, there is currently a Shredder (from teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) operator skin available in the game. Although it is very striking and I can see the appeal, it stands out like a sore thumb in most in-game environments. Another consideration regarding non-standard operator skins is that they are more prone to clipping through walls, which can be fatal.
Overall, I think that the potential benefits of certain operator skins are modest and that as ever, it is the skill of the player that is the greatest factor in their success. I personally like the option to customise the look of my character in any video game I play and have my own particular preferences. Hence I have no objection to a broad selection of operator skins in the in-game store when playing DMZ. I won’t necessarily purchase “novelty” skins such as Rambo, John McClane and RoboCop, which were available in the previous version of Warzone. But I don’t have any “ideological problem” with such content being available in the game. Video games are a leisure activity and therefore they should be fun. The FPS genre has a tendency to attract some players who take it all very seriously, which can be wearisome. A little levity goes a long way.
Warzone added a new “casual mode” to its Battle Royale at the start of Season 4. This reduced the number of real players in-game and substituted them with AI bots. The ratio is approximately one fifth real players, four fifths bots. This new mode for Battle Royale solos, duos and quads was well received, especially among the mainstream players who are more focused on fun than progression. Veteran players who still wanted the challenge of playing against real players were free to continue playing the traditional BR modes. Hence all parties were pleased as they were both being catered for. However, and there is always a “however” when it comes to Call of Duty, the developers saw fit to remove the standard solo Battle Royale mode, leaving just the Battle Royale Casual mode with AI bots. Subsequently, a lot of players were perplexed and annoyed, as taking away choice is seldom good customer service. As a result of subsequent backlash, the mode was added back to the game mid-season.
When the Battle Royale Call of Duty: Warzone launched on March 10th 2020, the Verdansk map was one of the key elements of the game’s success. The subsequent lockdown due to the global pandemic was also a major shot in the arm for the game, with so many gamers being home. The Verdansk map along with the gameplay mechanics of the game at the time were a perfect combination and so Warzone was “just so”. It allowed both skilled and unskilled players to play together, without one group dominating the other. Gunfights could be intense but there were periods of downtime when traversing the map. Players also couldn’t continuously respawn if defeated, so there was a requirement to play with a degree of caution and strategy. I enjoyed the game immensely despite not being the biggest fan of PVP based gaming. It was a broadly equitable experience but sadly it didn’t remain that way.
I decided to play Call of Duty today as I wanted some undemanding entertainment. I was not surprised when the game client began an update, as I have not played for about three months. Hence, there was obviously new content to install. However, when I saw the size of the download, I knew this was more than just a season update. I therefore checked the Battle.net client and discovered that the game was installing Black Ops 6, the latest version of Call of Duty that is released on 25th October. A game I have decided not to buy for a multitude of reasons. Fortunately, you can modify your game installation on the fly, so I unchecked a few boxes and the download stopped. However, I was annoyed by the hubris of this “download by default” policy, so I decided to uninstall my existing installation of Modern Warfare 3 as it is no longer a mainstay of my gaming activities.
For those who are not familiar with this latest niche piece of “gaming outrage”, it regards the extraction shooter Warzone 2.0 DMZ, which is part of the Call of Duty franchise. When you enter the game (either solo or in a squad), you use gear that you have previously collected. A key part of the game is looting and upgrading your weapon, bullet proof vest (there are 3 tiers) and sundry support items. If you die, then you lose all the equipment you are currently carrying. With this in mind, Activision have recently added two purchasable gear bundles to the game store. One comes with a medium size backpack by default. The other comes with a 2 plate vest (tier 2) and two weapons that only have a 15 minute cooldown. This does offer a degree of convenience. Furthermore, the second bundle is tied to the Ghost operator skin, who within the game’s canon is an iconic figure. Hence there has been a great deal of debate over the rectitude of these bundles.
I don’t mind buying an occasional bundle from the store in DMZ, although it is often the weapon blueprint that determines my choice. Today I bought Overgrown 2, which includes the Ghillie Monster operator skin, to see if it offered any significant advantage. However, as I am not what you would call a “top tier” player, my subsequent experience and anecdotal evidence is hardly compelling. If you go prone in the desert, a shrubbery or among general herbidacious flora then it does offer a degree of camouflage. However, in suburban areas and the outlying villages of Al Mazrah, you look like a Wookie on a daytrip and I can’t see any advantage. So upon reflection, two questions spring to mind. Firstly, do any of the skins currently available in the game offer any tangible benefits? If not is it just a question of operator skins are 100% cosmetic and just about tickling a players fancy and getting them to put their hand in their pockets.
Here we are again with another summary of my gaming activities in recent months. Or in this case since last September. It’s been a while but I’ve been on a blogging hiatus until recently. However, I’ve kept myself busy gaming wise and often I find the hunt for news video games, just as entertaining as I do playing them. Perhaps that could be a future blog post. Back to the matter in hand. Gaming wise, pretty much all things related to the MMORPG genre are currently on the back burner. I’ll give specifics later but I am taking a break from these for the present. I am currently looking at trying games outside my usual comfort zone and also trying to test whether you can or cannot teach an old dog new tricks. Fortunately, the answer appears to be yes you can. Enough summation, on to the specifics.
I like an analogy as a literary device, so here’s one for you. Video games are like parties. How so? In the following ways. They quite never live up to your expectations. The best ones are the ones you never go to, according to the “anecdotes” you’re told afterwards. And there’s always someone crying and throwing up at 2:00 AM. Okay, the last one isn’t quite relevant but the overall sentiment of the first two is sound. The reason I have used this visual metaphor is because both parties and multiplayer video games sell themselves on the alleged quality of their respective social dynamic. They supposedly offer you fun with your friends and a unique, memorable experience. However, the reality is a lot more lacklustre. Warzone 2.0 DMZ is a prime example. What enjoyment there is to be had in playing this game is offset by the iniquities of many of its players as they race to the proverbial bottom.
September has been and gone and the nights are now drawing in. Usually this time of year is ideal for gaming but sadly I’ve had a lot on over the last 30 days and as a result there’s been precious little time for gaming or indeed writing. Such is life. When I did have some leisure time, MMOs were the easiest way to get a quick gaming fix, as per usual. Standing Stone Games announced that the next expansion for The Lord of the Rings Online would be released in November and that a revision of the Legendary Item system would be coming prior to that. Hence I took a look at the beta builds on the Bullroarer test server and then started prepping my various alts on the live servers, to get ready for this major change. I also managed to complete the latest event in Star Trek Online. However, beyond these straightforward tasks I didn’t really get to do much more.
Video games can offer a great opportunity for personal growth. If you are the sort of player who likes to prove themselves and continuously test one’s mettle, then some titles can provide the challenge required to be the best of the best. Hence many games are competitive, have league tables and other formal structures for measuring success. It is one of the reasons why esports have become so popular. But this desire to excel and master a particular play style extends beyond competitive games. For some players part of a games allure is understanding the numbers and stats that drive the game mechanics. Because these are often the key to optimising your build and maximising DPS output. Hence you will find skilled and learned players in a variety of games across multiple genres. Although they are often motivated for different reasons, they all strive to be elite players.
I originally climbed aboard the Call of Duty bandwagon in 2009 when Modern Warfare 2 came out. I enjoyed the campaign and the multiplayer so much I promptly bought the first instalment. I then stuck with the franchise up until 2013. I didn’t especially like Ghosts, although I enjoyed the option to play as a dog which was different. Overall I was somewhat tired of the FPS genre from then on and so didn’t keep up with any further releases. For me the best iteration of the game was Black Ops in 2010. The campaign had a densely plotted story and the multiplayer was extremely polished. The multiplayer maps were well conceived allowing for fluid and engaging gameplay. Six years on and I recently got an itch to play Call of Duty again. The soft reboot of the franchise with Modern warfare in November 2019 promised a return to basics. The recent inclusion of a battle royale mode with the release of Warzone finally clinched the deal. So I bought a discounted version of the standard game recently and dived back in.
I have enjoyed Sniper Elite 4 and all of the sundry DLC immensely since its release in Spring. The game presents an interesting alternative to the traditional shooter with its stealth based level design. The latest instalment, Obliteration (the third part of an ongoing story), is set in an empty Bavarian town and has an intricate map with an authentic period feel. It offers opportunities for both long range sniping and close quarters stealth kills. Overall, I have found that the franchise provides engaging and complex gameplay, as well as satisfying the players baser need for blood and violence. However, playing this and other similar titles got me thinking. It would appear that World War II, one of the defining periods of the last century that still has ramifications today, is in certain quarters now simply a setting, a plot device or a Hitchcockian MacGuffin. Is the broader subtext of this major event now irrelevant to a generation of players because they have no immediate connection to this period in history? If that is the case, exactly when does it become acceptable for something of this magnitude, to be trivialised in this manner (if that is indeed the case).
I took advantage of the current summer sales and pre-ordered the next instalment of Call of Duty, succinctly named WWII, due to be released in Autumn. After straying far from the established model, it’s nice to see CoD returning to its roots. The Second World War is a tried and tested formula and will no doubt be well received by fans of the franchise. As I have said before, COD is not a revolutionary product and as far as I know has never claimed to be. It provides a standard formula with sufficient variation, which is commercially viable and demonstrably popular. Those gamers that constantly rail against these games are on a hiding to nothing. You might as well complain about pop music being mainstream and accessible.
A Month in Gaming
Here we are again with another summary of my gaming activities in recent months. Or in this case since last September. It’s been a while but I’ve been on a blogging hiatus until recently. However, I’ve kept myself busy gaming wise and often I find the hunt for news video games, just as entertaining as I do playing them. Perhaps that could be a future blog post. Back to the matter in hand. Gaming wise, pretty much all things related to the MMORPG genre are currently on the back burner. I’ll give specifics later but I am taking a break from these for the present. I am currently looking at trying games outside my usual comfort zone and also trying to test whether you can or cannot teach an old dog new tricks. Fortunately, the answer appears to be yes you can. Enough summation, on to the specifics.
Here we are again with another summary of my gaming activities in recent months. Or in this case since last September. It’s been a while but I’ve been on a blogging hiatus until recently. However, I’ve kept myself busy gaming wise and often I find the hunt for news video games, just as entertaining as I do playing them. Perhaps that could be a future blog post. Back to the matter in hand. Gaming wise, pretty much all things related to the MMORPG genre are currently on the back burner. I’ll give specifics later but I am taking a break from these for the present. I am currently looking at trying games outside my usual comfort zone and also trying to test whether you can or cannot teach an old dog new tricks. Fortunately, the answer appears to be yes you can. Enough summation, on to the specifics.
LOTRO Update 34: Before the Shadow. Let me state for the record that I still consider The Lord of the Rings Online to be a robust and entertaining realisation of Middle-earth. It has kept me entertained since late 2008. If you are new to the game there is a ton of content, a huge amount of lore references and a supportive and friendly community. But the last update had very little to offer veteran players. The new content was aimed at level 1 to 32 players. So apart from a new story, nothing much of note was added to the game for those with level cap characters and that is pretty much why I’m tired of this game. All it ever offers is “more of the same”.
Due to changes within EG7, I suspect a lot of the promised updates like the graphics overhauls and the console version will never be carried out and LOTRO is fated to remain essentially as it is. No major new systems or gameplay mechanics will be added. Just variations on existing content. For me that is no longer sufficient to hold my interest. Hence I played through some of Update 34: Before the Shadow when it was released last November but after a few days I just stopped logging in. I didn’t feel especially upset. In fact it felt like the right response. When you’re done, you’re done.
Red Dead Redemption 2. I returned to this RPG in January and picked up exactly where I left off in 2020. The plot was still familiar to me so it really was a seamless continuation. I played through the main story and was amazed at what a compelling experience it was. As I’ve already written a blog post about this remarkable game I won’t repeat myself too much but I consider this to be one of the best video games ever. Great game play, a compelling narrative and a feeling of immense satisfaction when you reach the end. It also keeps you thinking and reflecting upon it for days afterwards. As all great art does.
Hogwarts Legacy. Controversy aside, I really enjoyed this game. It offered everything I personally wanted from a Hogwarts themed video game. I was surprised at the quality of some of the companion side quests, especially the Sebastian Sallow story arc. I will happily return to the game if further DLC is released and I may at a future date play through the entire thing again with a new character. If they are in another house there are some unique storylines. In the meantime, the only content left to me to do is some completionist, busy work, so for the present I’ve finished with this title. It did provide over 70 hours of entertainment.
Sniper Elite 5. Nowadays, most games have a relatively short life cycle. One year is usual, so I was quite surprised to discover that Sniper Elite 5 was to get a second season pass with another “years worth” of content. New maps, new weapons, new cosmetic skins. Some may argue it’s all a bit thin but I just fundamentally like the concept behind this game. Slow, measured and tactical driven gameplay for those who want it. For those who like to run and gun, that is still an option. This fifth iteration of the game has really refined the sniping mechanics and the weapons customisation means you really can create a loadout that suits your need and style. I like the stealthy approach and setting booby traps and the game excels at this. Invasion mode where another player can gatecrash your game and hunt you down, still keeps me on my toes. I’ll happily play for another year.
Star Trek Online. What I like about this MMORPG is that you know exactly where you stand with it. You can complain about the monetisation, the ground combat and “lack of diplomatic missions” but the game doesn’t lie to you about its nature. STO is the gaming embodiment of a quid pro quo. If you grind a new event, you get a reward. If you grind all the events scheduled throughout the year, you get a bigger reward. There’s always something to do in this game. If you have time to kill, then you can play through all story arcs on all factions. There’s a lot. Alternatively, if you just have 30 minutes of gaming time, why not do the latest Task Force Operation? This is why STO is always in my gaming rotation.
Warzone 2.0 DMZ. I ended up buying a new graphics card because of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II, when it was released last November. The latest iteration of the franchise also saw the release of a new version of Warzone, its free multiplayer counterpart. I’m simply not a good enough player to get the most out of the battle royale mode but the new DMZ variant, which is an extraction shooter, is damn compelling. Yes the game is flawed at present and a lot of the community are sociopathic but occasionally you get a game that hits the spot perfectly. You find a good squad, play in a coordinated fashion and gain some phat loot. And any fool that crosses your path, gets wrecked. You then exfil in the helicopter, under the cover of smoke, back in time for corn flakes. These are the days when gaming is good.
The Hunter: Call of the Wild. Finally, I bought this hunting game after watching a “let’s play” video on YouTube and am happy to report that it is a very interesting alternative take on the "first person shooter" genre. The game is slow, methodical and surprisingly immersive. It rewards patience. I didn’t think this genre would have any appeal for me but it is certainly holding my interest at present. It also has a substantial playerbase and community on reddit who are happy to share tips and information. I wasn’t expecting any of this which is an added bonus.
Some video games lend themselves to being set aside and resumed at a later date with zero consequences. These are often casual games with no major goals other than having fun while playing them. Fall Guys is a great example of this. You have a cartoony avatar that participates in zany group races, filled with obstacles. You run, jump, climb but the controls are far from difficult. You may well become skilled but such things are mitigated by the other players as they stumble around. You’re not at the mercy of apex players or “try hards”. It is not a game about winning and mastering techniques. The fun comes from playing it and the unique experience you have each time. I’ve been playing this game, on and off, since it’s launch in 2020 and in that time I have only ever won once (winning requires you to win a series of 4 to six individual races). However, whenever I pick up my controller and play Fall Guys, I have fun and the game lifts my spirits.
I recently completed the main story in Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon. In total I spent about sixty hours playing the game. I began at the start of the year, then took a break for a while but returned to it recently because I wanted to see if I could unlock a specific ending. I did manage to do this. Like so many other RPGs, Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon has a central storyline, along with a wealth of side quests, based around factions in specific zones. I think I possibly completed about a two thirds of these. However, once I finished the main story, my interest in the game began to wane. I finally left my character in the last major quest hub in case I wish to return at a future date. I then logged out of the game and uninstalled it from my PC to free up space for whatever I was to play next. In this case its The Sinking City 2. None of this is a negative reflection on Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon. I enjoyed the time I spent playing this quirky RPG. I simply had my fill and left to play something else.
On Tuesday 11th April, Aspyr Media rather surprisingly re-released The Lord of the Rings: War in the North, a co-op action-RPG from 2011. This game was delisted in late 2019, possibly due to changing rights ownership or a license expiring. Hence, I was somewhat discombobulated by the return of this title to all major gaming platforms. Mind you, the Embracer Group (through its subsidiary Middle-earth Enterprises) still controls the worldwide commercial and video game licensing rights for The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Furthermore they have explicitly stated that they have plans for more games. It would appear this also means re-releasing and updating old favourites. It is also worth noting that they own Aspyr Media, which is also a bit of a giveaway. Let it suffice to say that this re-release and sparked enthusiastic online debate as to whether any other he Lord of the Rings themed games from the same era will receive a similar makeover. Judging by the internet chatter, there’s potentially a market for them.
The next expansion for the MMORG, The Lord of the Rings Online, was announced on the 1st August, via the gaming website MMORPG.The Wolves of Mordor, which will launch later in the year, appears ambitious in scope as it will include two new game systems as well as the obligatory story update. This expansion takes place in Draugardh located in the North East of Mordor, beyond the Plateau of Gorgoroth. It includes the new zones of Heledhris, Parth Rhavas and Nan Ogol. These vary environmentally ranging from the arid, volcanic and semi-tropical. Players will encounter the Daugrim in these regions, Werewolves but not in the modern sense. This is not the lycanthropy of Eastern European legends but in the established Tolkien idiom of fell spirits inhabiting the bodies of Wolves. The region also sees the return of the Woses and players can expect to encounter Elves and scouts from Gondor. As ever with LOTRO expansions, there will be new instances as well as a raid.
This is a post about the power of nostalgia and how sometimes, interacting with something from your past, be it physically or mentally, can produce a very strong and tangible emotional reaction. In some instances, this can be the result of something that you have specifically set out to do. On other occasions you can wander into a sense of nostalgia purely by chance. Today I experienced a very strong sense of nostalgia while watching a YouTube video and then again when I sought to replicate what I had seen. The video showed someone installing Windows 95 on to an old 486 PC from that era. The Window’s start up sound really touched a nerve (but in a good way) and then when the guy in the video launched Space Cadet 3D Pinball, a game that shipped with the operating system, I felt a strong compulsion to track down a copy and install the game myself, thus revisiting something that was an integral part of my life in 1995.
RV There Yet? is possibly the most entertaining game I’ve never played. My vicarious pleasure regarding this title has come exclusively from watching two popular YouTubers, JackFrags and WillFromWork, play through the game over a series of videos. It has been immensely amusing to watch and I have empathised a great deal as the group of four players has struggled with the game’s unpredictable mechanics and their own team’s dynamic. I could go and buy RV There Yet? myself but I doubt if I would ever have a gaming experience anywhere close to what I’ve watched online recently. So in some respects watching these videos has been an interesting alternative as I’ve been entertained, which ultimately is the point of video games. Perhaps there is a deeper philosophical point here that the game developers should reflect upon, as they’ve lost a potential sale. However, that is separate discussion for another day.
I don’t keep up with gaming news as much as I use to but several noteworthy announcement have come to my attention of late. Firstly, there’s an expansion, Songs of the Past, coming for the Witcher III: Wild Hunt in 2027. No doubt this is to pave the way for the Witcher IV. Next, I also found out about Hand of Fate: Horde. I liked this franchise and was saddened to learn that the original studio, Defiant Development, closed. Hence is was a pleasant surprise to see this new game being developed by members of the original studio. The third announcement was regarding Guild Wars 3. A new MMORPG in active development by a major studio is no small feat and is certainly good news for fans of this franchise and the genre per se. However, once you look beyond this news this announcement raises several questions and has certainly given me pause for thought. Let us take a few moments to consider them.
Star Trek Online has many in-game systems that are common to the MMORPG genre. The reputation system is one such example. In STO there are 13 reputation factions. Once a player has reached level 50 they may start progressing through the 6 reputation tiers of each one. Players gain progression through daily projects (20 hours in duration). Hourly projects are also available though they yield less reputation advancement and are limited to three times a day. Hence 20 hour projects are consider by default the most efficient way to gain rep. Projects require 30 Faction Specific Marks (earned via various activities in-game), 15,000 Energy Credits (standard in-game currency) and 2000 Expertise points. The most efficient way to tackle the reputation grind is to build up the necessary resources in advance and then at a designated time each day, start all 13 respective projects. Upon completion projects yield a player bound lockbox containing a random space or ground weapon, a console or Elite Marks which can be used to acquire faction gear.
I was recently perusing my archive of old blog posts, when it struck me how much I’ve written about the MMORPG genre over the years. Naturally, there was far more material from between 2008 and 2012 as that was period when I immersed myself in the genre and was very enthusiastic about it. I was at a point in my life when I had the time to dedicate to such games and I was happy to participate in the social aspect of they offered. I would regularly play through group content and spend time socialising online with fellow guild members. My experience remains a textbook example of how online games can be more than the sum of their parts and that where you are at in your life has a major impact upon your overall enjoyment. As I read though various old posts it became clear that my experiences where specific to this particular part of my life and that they cannot be repeated. My relationship with the genre is very different now and that’s fine.
Creating alts is an integral aspect of the MMORPG genre. Many players will create a character of a specific class or faction, play it for a while, lose interest in it or they may decide that it is just not for them. Fortunately it is no effort at all to simply re-roll a new alt and set off once again. Furthermore, lots of players never reach level cap of the MMORPG that there playing. When the going get’s tough, so to speak, you can either soldier on for another 50 levels or simply create a new alt and return to the comfort of tried and tested content. Alts also give you the chance to secure an accolade or achievement that you previously missed. They are also of great benefit to the genres social aspects. Creating a new alt so you can play along with a friend who is just starting is great fun. Developer’s love them too as it means you’re still playing the game.
I recently took a break from Crimson Desert choosing instead to to play something familiar and easy going. As I’ve been logging into Star Trek Online daily to participate in the anniversary event, I decided to look through my various alts and see how far they had progressed through the game and what resources they had. At present I have twelve alts. My primary Captain was created in 2015 during the original Delta Recruit Event. I had previously played STO intermittently since its release in January 2010 but I never kept any of those characters. Hence this decade old Tactical Federation Captain has been my main focus when playing. The other eleven alts are the result of other recruitment events or whenever I wanted to try something different, such as playing a specific class or faction. I obviously played a lot of STO during the lockdown as several alts date from that period. Several had maximum reputation across all factions.
The action, open world RPG Crimson Desert has been patched five times since it launched on March 19th and there have also been multiple hotfixes. At first glance this isn’t anything unusual. New games have bugs and issues arise once a game is released and played across a much wider variety of hardware than in QA testing. However, if you read the patch notes that accompany these sizeable downloads it quickly becomes apparent that developer’s Pearl Abyss are not just addressing bugs and software glitches. They are actively engaging with their player base and responding to suggestions and requests from that community. Although this is not a unique approach, what is surprising is the speed and quantity in which these player driven changes are happening. There seems to be an active ongoing process to refine the game and eliminate some of its “rough edges” and the players are contributing to this process with their feedback.
According to my Steam statistics, I last played Starfield on 19th December 2023. I bought the game upon its release in September of that year and played in total for 136 hours. Starfield held my interest for three and a half month and I wrote seven blog posts about various aspects of the game. Although there were some engaging aspects to Starfield, I did feel that that the game was somewhat lacking in systems and content, at that point in its lifecycle. I also think that the marketing and player expectations associated with Starfield were overblown and unrealistic. The shadow of Skyrim looms large over all new Bethesda releases and they don’t seem able to quite recapture that magic. Hence, I inevitably drifted away from Starfield and to another game and was effectively “done” with it. I have not played the game since which seems to validate the theory that game are becoming increasingly more ephemeral.
13 days after its release, market analysts estimate that Crimson Desert has already earned $200 million across the four main platforms (PC, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X and S). The game is certainly proving popular among gamers with the internet awash with live streams and “let’s play” videos. However, reviews are mixed both among gaming journalists and YouTube influencers. Common complaints about the game include that it is slow to start, the controls are poorly laid out on all platforms and that developer’s Pearl Abyss have done a poor job of explaining most aspects of the game to new players. Although such criticisms are true to a degree, I think these complaints highlight how many gamers are conditioned to expect new titles to follow a specific pattern with regard to pacing, narrative exposition and learning in-game systems. A pattern that Pearl Abyss has chosen to ignore, instead favouring an old school approach.
Early on Crimson Desert, the main quest requires the player to enter a tavern and arm wrestle a particularly strong guard. The arm wrestling match consists of a quick time event. If playing on PC you have to rapidly press the “E” key which turns a power meter from white to red. Then a white dial appears above the meter with a rotating hand. When the hand passes over a segment of the dial that is marked by hatching, the player must press the “R” key. The idea being the meter filling with red is you strength building (or waning) and the “R” key prompt indicates when to try and force your opponent’s arm. You will need to to continuously press the “E” key throughout the arm wrestling match and the “R” key about 4 times to win.
Earlier this week, Nvidia posted a video featuring their latest iteration of DLSS technology (Deep learning super sampling). DLSS 5 is an AI-powered “real-time neural rendering” process and unlike previous versions that focused on improving frame rates through upscaling or frame generation, DLSS 5 uses generative AI to “infuse” frames with photorealistic lighting and material details that the game engine never actually calculated. Let us pause for a moment and consider these words. Material detail that the game engine never actually calculated. Therein lies the rub. If you watch the aforementioned video or peruse the images posted here, it is abundantly clear what the technology does.
Last night, I spent the first 45 minutes after the launch of Crimson Desert, watching the 92GB pre-downloaded game files slowly decompressing and installing. I finally launched the game at about 10:50 PM GMT. I then waited a further 5 minutes while shaders were downloaded. It took me about 15 minutes or so to read through the various game settings and choose those that are optimal for my PC. I suspect even if you have a beast of a computer, you’re still going to have to spend some time tweaking settings. As for those players like myself with a gaming rig that is somewhere in the middle of the game’s specifications, be prepared to do a lot of fine tuning both within Crimson Desert itself and your Windows settings.
I have been aware of the online interest around the open world action game Crimson Desert for a while now. One of the things that has intrigued me about it is the scope of the game. The word “hype” has been bandied about by a few gaming websites. However, from what I have observed, developers Pearl Abyss have not been excessively hyperbolic themselves, with regard to the manner in which the game’s systems and mechanics have been marketed. Now that the press embargo has been lifted, the pre-release reviews seem to confirm that everything we’ve seen in promotional videos in the run up to the launch, is in fact present in the game. So far the initial critical response has been very positive and it has been hinted that the game may well be a genre milestone. Perhaps Crimson Desert is just a rare example of a game that has not had a rushed development and isn’t launching prematurely for business reasons.
Video games as a genre are extremely poor at explaining themselves. When you buy a new game you’ll often find little or no information regarding the basic systems and mechanics. The industry assumes that their customers are by default familiar with the fundamentals of playing a modern video game. Hence if a game has a tutorial, it is often based around videos rather than detailed verbal instructions. You are are briefly shown a clip of a specific move being successfully undertaken but it is seldom shown in a wider context. The industry also expects the fan community to take on the role of curating and disseminating information about its games. The move away from forums and bespoke websites to Discord highlights this. Discord is a primarily a real time communication tool and not good at maintaining a historical data archive. If you want an answer to a specific gaming question, you’ll more than likely find it on YouTube in a video made by a fellow gamer.
I have written in the past about the video games we cannot play. The ones that require a keen understanding of a game’s mechanics, along with a strong degree of manual dexterity and situational awareness. Being 58 years old, I tend to have neither the co-ordination necessary to succeed or the patience to master such complex skill requirements. With this in mind, I recently watched a YouTube video for Chivalry 2 and thought, that looks like fun. The fact that it showed someone picking up a chicken and throwing it at an opponent is neither here nor there. However, after watching a few more videos I realised that combat in the game was complex and that, as usual, the reality of playing such a game would be different from my expectations. Hence, I came very close to not buying Chivalry 2. However, I eventually decided that I would, so I bought it for just under £10 from an online vendor.
I decided to pursue a magic and spellcasting build in the RPG Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon after the story prologue. During the opening section of the game, the player is presented with a sufficient range of weapons to determine which type suits them best, although you can change at any time during the game. For me, casting spells feels right and is fun. Plus I have fond memories of the magic system in Two Worlds II and Skyrim. So once I started playing through the first zone, I started putting attribute and skill points into the appropriate trees to bolster my spells strengths and frequency. I also chose gear that would bolster those statistics further. The results have been surprising, as magic and spellcasting is not presented in the usual “glass cannon” style you find in some other RPGs. Here it offers robust DPS output and with the right gear and spell combination, a strong degree of survivability.
I originally bought Warhammer: Dark Omen in the summer of 1998. I played a demo copy via a magazine cover disc, which was a common means of promotion and marketing back then. Although I was at that point, unfamiliar with the Warhammer Universe, I found this game to be an excellent point of entry. The story did an excellent job of introducing players to “The Old World”, the political and power structure and major characters. I instantly liked both the aesthetic and the lore. Warhammer: Dark Omen was also the first real-time tactical wargame that I played and I spent numerous hours playing through the campaign. Overall, the game was a critical success, particularly on PC, but it struggled commercially upon its initial release and didn’t quite find the audience that it deserved. However, it has achieved status as a “cult classic” among gamers, leading to a recent re-release on GOG in late 2025.
According to the recent “letter to the players”, Standing Stone Games will be adding a new zone to the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online in the second quarter of this year. Possibly around May or June. Having spent the last three expansions in the South of Middle-earth exploring the tropical Umbar and the deserts of Harad, I would certainly welcome a change of location. I have gradually warmed to these zones over the last eighteen months but I do find them so incongruous. They are so radically different to the European style content that has been the mainstay of the game for so long. Tolkien’s source text has plenty of detail regarding Eriador and Rhovanion. Information regarding Harad is scarce, hence it has afforded the developers a great deal of artistic freedom. Although exceedingly well realised these tropical zones have taken a while for me to get used to.
I’m not sure exactly when it started but I’ve recently noticed a graphical bug within the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online. This problem often occurs within caves or in areas where there are a lot of rocky surfaces. Hence it has become very apparent in the latest two expansions, set in Umbar and Harad. This graphical glitch causes some surface textures to appear to flash from light to dark intermittently. The resulting strobe effect is hard to ignore and very distracting. Fortunately, a quick online search showed that this is not a problem unique to my installation of LOTRO and is a known problem. Furthermore, there is a very simple workaround, which is to go into the Advanced Graphics setting and uncheck “Per Pixel Lighting”, which immediately remedies the problem. I have no idea why this has recently started to happen but at least it can be resolved.
This year is the 60th anniversary of Star Trek. The original TV show was first broadcast in the US on September 8th 1966. If you search online you’ll find details of lots of related events. There are documentaries, conventions, new TV shows and even some video games in development. However, what you won’t find are any details regarding what will be happening with the MMORPG Star Trek Online. So far no road map for 2026 has been posted online by the developers but it is still quite early in the New Year. That being the case, I am not especially optimistic about there being any major plans waiting to be revealed. It is not as if DECA Games have demonstrated or stated any major ambitions for STO beyond keeping the endless events treadmill going and regularly adding content to the in-game store, during their development tenure. The ongoing story arc drags on inexorably and is as dull as ditchwater.
I first played The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim in June 2013. This was over 18 months after the game’s initial release and the base game and DLC were bundled together in a “Legendary” edition. Although a seasoned gamer at the time, familiar with the RPG genre with such titles as Mass Effect and Grand Theft Auto IV, I had not played a game from this franchise before. It only took a few hours of gameplay to realise that this was a special title. The scope of the story, the art design and the size of the world were immediately notable. Tamriel was immersive in a way I had not experienced with other titles. Often simply traversing the terrain and watching the dawn break while the game soundtrack swelled, was sufficient to hold my attention. I instantly picked up on the voice acting of Christopher Plummer and Max Von Sydow. All of which indicated that this was a gaming landmark.
The latest expansion for the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online, Kingdoms of Harad, launched on December 3rd. With this release the level cap was raised from 150 to 160. It should also be noted that the cap for virtue traits was also raised from 96 to 100. Naturally these changes meant that there is a requirement to replace all armour and jewellery once the new cap is reached. Similarly Legendary Items have to be reforged and any traceries upgraded or replaced. If you follow the Epic Story it will lead you from quest hub to quest hub. The main quest rewards, along with those from side quests will provide adequate gear as you slowly progress towards the new level cap. The new raids, instances and missions/delvings then provide a means to acquire higher quality level 160 gear. LOTRO and indeed, many other MMOs are consistent in this methodology.
It is customary in a post such as this to list the various games that I’ve played over the last twelve months and share my thoughts on them. Wider analysis of the video game industry is also de rigeur. Unfortunately, I don’t really feel disposed to do either of those two things. My thoughts on the games I’ve played have already been published and can easily be accessed via the links at the bottom of this post. As for the video game industry, it suffers the same flaws as music, TV and cinema. There is creativity and innovation out there but it is often drowned out by mainstream products which are demonstrably inferior due to their inherent mediocrity. As for the business side of things, we once again clearly see the failings of the corporate management class. Sadly, they do not face the consequences of the mistakes that they make.
The Hunter: Call of the Wild
I have always dismissed hunting games as “not my thing”. Perhaps that stems from my ambivalent views about hunting per se. Yet after recently watching a YouTube video for The Hunter: Call of the Wild, I revised my opinion. The footage showed a slow and thoughtful game and I was also surprised to see that there was a campaign with a story. Hence I decided to step outside of my comfort zone and give the game a try. The base edition can be purchased for £20 on Steam and there is a wealth of optional DLC. I bought a bundle that included some additional maps, weapons packs and a dog that can be used for tracking. I also bought a quad bike as this is invaluable for traversing the open world, which is enormous. As ever with steam, the installation was easy and hassle free and within an hour I found myself exploring Layton Lake District, which is based upon the Pacific Northwest geographic region.
I have always dismissed hunting games as “not my thing”. Perhaps that stems from my ambivalent views about hunting per se. Yet after recently watching a YouTube video for The Hunter: Call of the Wild, I revised my opinion. The footage showed a slow and thoughtful game and I was also surprised to see that there was a campaign with a story. Hence I decided to step outside of my comfort zone and give the game a try. The base edition can be purchased for £20 on Steam and there is a wealth of optional DLC. I bought a bundle that included some additional maps, weapons packs and a dog that can be used for tracking. I also bought a quad bike as this is invaluable for traversing the open world, which is enormous. As ever with steam, the installation was easy and hassle free and within an hour I found myself exploring Layton Lake District, which is based upon the Pacific Northwest geographic region.
The Hunter: Call of the Wild was released in 2017, yet has been continuously supported by developers Expansive Worlds since then. Over the last five years the game has received new content and had its systems revised. The last patch was 14th March this year and it appears that there is a robust community of players. The game, much to my surprise, supports multiplayer gameplay and does something most unusual in so far as you can play on maps you don’t own while in co-op mode. This “try before you buy” approach is most equitable. Furthermore, the DLC seems to be functional and doesn’t fall into the “pay to win” category. There are cosmetic skins, weapons packs and most significantly, new maps featuring locations from all over the world. The prices are reasonable, although if you do decide to be a completionist and buy everything, you will end up spending an additional £115 on top of the base game.
Upon starting The Hunter: Call of the Wild, the player finds themselves on a jetty in the Layton Lake District, armed with an entry level rifle, revolver and shotgun. The tutorial (more on this later) and story is supplied via the Huntermate handheld device. This is a cross between a GPS tracker and a cell phone. You receive updates, missions and back story details via the reserve warden Colton “Doc” Locke. The Huntermate can display details of tracks, droppings and blood trails. It is also a means of taking screen captures in-game as it has a photo mode. From here the game quickly has you learning the basics of tracking, using lookout points which open up locations of note on the map and finding outposts. The latter are bases where the player can purchase resources, change their loadout, access their dog and quad bike, if purchased. Outposts also facilitate quick travel.
Hunting games are by their very nature, stealth games and The Hunter: Call of the Wild is no exception. This is a genre where it is beneficial to take a slow and methodical approach. Tracking is simple in principle but far trickier in reality. The player has to keep their noise level down (this is tracked by an in-game meter) and be aware of the wind direction as their scent can give their presence away (again there is a HUD display for this). Lures can be used to attract animals and the optional dog is great for tracking wildlife. Animals are also subject to a night and day cycle. There are also specific locations to be found where wildlife graze and drink water. All these factors come to bear when hunting. Due to the expansive open world, the quad bike is invaluable, although it is also noisy so has to be abandoned when you get near your quarry.
Talking of noise, sound design is an integral part of The Hunter: Call of the Wild. The ambient sounds are both atmospheric and functional. Footsteps alter depending upon where you walk and what you walk upon. Animal sounds can alert you to their presence but conversely, they may also tip you off when they have detected you. Wind, rain and moving water all contribute to the overall environmental atmosphere. At night, the sound design becomes positively alarming at times, utilising animal sounds that you may not immediately expect from such creatures as deers and rabbits. The game uses ambient music sparingly but each map does have its own bespoke theme which is appropriate. There is also support for Dolby Atmos and it showcases all the aforementioned attributes well. Sound is so often the one aspect of game design that gamers are inattentive of, turning it down or even off.
When it comes to actually shooting an animal, the game offers a similar amount of complexity to tracking. An appropriate calibre firearm has to be selected depending on the prey. Ammunition also is a key factor offering improved accuracy or penetration. Lying prone stabilises your shot but sway is still a factor, so the game uses a “hold your breath” mechanic found in most FPS games. However, perhaps the most important skill is choosing where to aim for a “quick, clean kill”. This requires the player to learn about animal anatomy and how shots to vital organs are the most desirable. Be warned, most of your initial kills will not be instantaneous and will require the player to track a blood trail to find their deceased target. Animals that you have successfully killed can be examined to determine where the bullets penetrated and what damage they did. There’s even a posthumous x-ray mode.
Now some may find all of this distasteful but I would point out that a game such as Sniper Elite does all the above but the target of choice are people, so I am not going to debate the morality of this particular game here. So far, The Hunter: Call of the Wild has proven absorbing, leisurely and at times quite impressive in the scope of its virtual world. I was pleasantly surprised by the narrative campaign and love my dog, which has skills that you can level up. The game is mainly in first person but can optionally switch to third when riding on a quad bike. Sadly, the tutorial is woefully lacking, leaving you dependent on internet searches. Also running and walking seem a little off and akin to wading through molasses. But these quibbles aside, the game’s greatest appeal is its pacing, which eschews the boisterous nature of so many other genres. The Hunter: Call of the Wild rewards the player who wants to take their time and consider their plan of action.
Some video games lend themselves to being set aside and resumed at a later date with zero consequences. These are often casual games with no major goals other than having fun while playing them. Fall Guys is a great example of this. You have a cartoony avatar that participates in zany group races, filled with obstacles. You run, jump, climb but the controls are far from difficult. You may well become skilled but such things are mitigated by the other players as they stumble around. You’re not at the mercy of apex players or “try hards”. It is not a game about winning and mastering techniques. The fun comes from playing it and the unique experience you have each time. I’ve been playing this game, on and off, since it’s launch in 2020 and in that time I have only ever won once (winning requires you to win a series of 4 to six individual races). However, whenever I pick up my controller and play Fall Guys, I have fun and the game lifts my spirits.
I recently completed the main story in Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon. In total I spent about sixty hours playing the game. I began at the start of the year, then took a break for a while but returned to it recently because I wanted to see if I could unlock a specific ending. I did manage to do this. Like so many other RPGs, Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon has a central storyline, along with a wealth of side quests, based around factions in specific zones. I think I possibly completed about a two thirds of these. However, once I finished the main story, my interest in the game began to wane. I finally left my character in the last major quest hub in case I wish to return at a future date. I then logged out of the game and uninstalled it from my PC to free up space for whatever I was to play next. In this case its The Sinking City 2. None of this is a negative reflection on Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon. I enjoyed the time I spent playing this quirky RPG. I simply had my fill and left to play something else.
On Tuesday 11th April, Aspyr Media rather surprisingly re-released The Lord of the Rings: War in the North, a co-op action-RPG from 2011. This game was delisted in late 2019, possibly due to changing rights ownership or a license expiring. Hence, I was somewhat discombobulated by the return of this title to all major gaming platforms. Mind you, the Embracer Group (through its subsidiary Middle-earth Enterprises) still controls the worldwide commercial and video game licensing rights for The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Furthermore they have explicitly stated that they have plans for more games. It would appear this also means re-releasing and updating old favourites. It is also worth noting that they own Aspyr Media, which is also a bit of a giveaway. Let it suffice to say that this re-release and sparked enthusiastic online debate as to whether any other he Lord of the Rings themed games from the same era will receive a similar makeover. Judging by the internet chatter, there’s potentially a market for them.
The next expansion for the MMORG, The Lord of the Rings Online, was announced on the 1st August, via the gaming website MMORPG.The Wolves of Mordor, which will launch later in the year, appears ambitious in scope as it will include two new game systems as well as the obligatory story update. This expansion takes place in Draugardh located in the North East of Mordor, beyond the Plateau of Gorgoroth. It includes the new zones of Heledhris, Parth Rhavas and Nan Ogol. These vary environmentally ranging from the arid, volcanic and semi-tropical. Players will encounter the Daugrim in these regions, Werewolves but not in the modern sense. This is not the lycanthropy of Eastern European legends but in the established Tolkien idiom of fell spirits inhabiting the bodies of Wolves. The region also sees the return of the Woses and players can expect to encounter Elves and scouts from Gondor. As ever with LOTRO expansions, there will be new instances as well as a raid.
This is a post about the power of nostalgia and how sometimes, interacting with something from your past, be it physically or mentally, can produce a very strong and tangible emotional reaction. In some instances, this can be the result of something that you have specifically set out to do. On other occasions you can wander into a sense of nostalgia purely by chance. Today I experienced a very strong sense of nostalgia while watching a YouTube video and then again when I sought to replicate what I had seen. The video showed someone installing Windows 95 on to an old 486 PC from that era. The Window’s start up sound really touched a nerve (but in a good way) and then when the guy in the video launched Space Cadet 3D Pinball, a game that shipped with the operating system, I felt a strong compulsion to track down a copy and install the game myself, thus revisiting something that was an integral part of my life in 1995.
RV There Yet? is possibly the most entertaining game I’ve never played. My vicarious pleasure regarding this title has come exclusively from watching two popular YouTubers, JackFrags and WillFromWork, play through the game over a series of videos. It has been immensely amusing to watch and I have empathised a great deal as the group of four players has struggled with the game’s unpredictable mechanics and their own team’s dynamic. I could go and buy RV There Yet? myself but I doubt if I would ever have a gaming experience anywhere close to what I’ve watched online recently. So in some respects watching these videos has been an interesting alternative as I’ve been entertained, which ultimately is the point of video games. Perhaps there is a deeper philosophical point here that the game developers should reflect upon, as they’ve lost a potential sale. However, that is separate discussion for another day.
I don’t keep up with gaming news as much as I use to but several noteworthy announcement have come to my attention of late. Firstly, there’s an expansion, Songs of the Past, coming for the Witcher III: Wild Hunt in 2027. No doubt this is to pave the way for the Witcher IV. Next, I also found out about Hand of Fate: Horde. I liked this franchise and was saddened to learn that the original studio, Defiant Development, closed. Hence is was a pleasant surprise to see this new game being developed by members of the original studio. The third announcement was regarding Guild Wars 3. A new MMORPG in active development by a major studio is no small feat and is certainly good news for fans of this franchise and the genre per se. However, once you look beyond this news this announcement raises several questions and has certainly given me pause for thought. Let us take a few moments to consider them.
Star Trek Online has many in-game systems that are common to the MMORPG genre. The reputation system is one such example. In STO there are 13 reputation factions. Once a player has reached level 50 they may start progressing through the 6 reputation tiers of each one. Players gain progression through daily projects (20 hours in duration). Hourly projects are also available though they yield less reputation advancement and are limited to three times a day. Hence 20 hour projects are consider by default the most efficient way to gain rep. Projects require 30 Faction Specific Marks (earned via various activities in-game), 15,000 Energy Credits (standard in-game currency) and 2000 Expertise points. The most efficient way to tackle the reputation grind is to build up the necessary resources in advance and then at a designated time each day, start all 13 respective projects. Upon completion projects yield a player bound lockbox containing a random space or ground weapon, a console or Elite Marks which can be used to acquire faction gear.
I was recently perusing my archive of old blog posts, when it struck me how much I’ve written about the MMORPG genre over the years. Naturally, there was far more material from between 2008 and 2012 as that was period when I immersed myself in the genre and was very enthusiastic about it. I was at a point in my life when I had the time to dedicate to such games and I was happy to participate in the social aspect of they offered. I would regularly play through group content and spend time socialising online with fellow guild members. My experience remains a textbook example of how online games can be more than the sum of their parts and that where you are at in your life has a major impact upon your overall enjoyment. As I read though various old posts it became clear that my experiences where specific to this particular part of my life and that they cannot be repeated. My relationship with the genre is very different now and that’s fine.
Creating alts is an integral aspect of the MMORPG genre. Many players will create a character of a specific class or faction, play it for a while, lose interest in it or they may decide that it is just not for them. Fortunately it is no effort at all to simply re-roll a new alt and set off once again. Furthermore, lots of players never reach level cap of the MMORPG that there playing. When the going get’s tough, so to speak, you can either soldier on for another 50 levels or simply create a new alt and return to the comfort of tried and tested content. Alts also give you the chance to secure an accolade or achievement that you previously missed. They are also of great benefit to the genres social aspects. Creating a new alt so you can play along with a friend who is just starting is great fun. Developer’s love them too as it means you’re still playing the game.
I recently took a break from Crimson Desert choosing instead to to play something familiar and easy going. As I’ve been logging into Star Trek Online daily to participate in the anniversary event, I decided to look through my various alts and see how far they had progressed through the game and what resources they had. At present I have twelve alts. My primary Captain was created in 2015 during the original Delta Recruit Event. I had previously played STO intermittently since its release in January 2010 but I never kept any of those characters. Hence this decade old Tactical Federation Captain has been my main focus when playing. The other eleven alts are the result of other recruitment events or whenever I wanted to try something different, such as playing a specific class or faction. I obviously played a lot of STO during the lockdown as several alts date from that period. Several had maximum reputation across all factions.
The action, open world RPG Crimson Desert has been patched five times since it launched on March 19th and there have also been multiple hotfixes. At first glance this isn’t anything unusual. New games have bugs and issues arise once a game is released and played across a much wider variety of hardware than in QA testing. However, if you read the patch notes that accompany these sizeable downloads it quickly becomes apparent that developer’s Pearl Abyss are not just addressing bugs and software glitches. They are actively engaging with their player base and responding to suggestions and requests from that community. Although this is not a unique approach, what is surprising is the speed and quantity in which these player driven changes are happening. There seems to be an active ongoing process to refine the game and eliminate some of its “rough edges” and the players are contributing to this process with their feedback.
According to my Steam statistics, I last played Starfield on 19th December 2023. I bought the game upon its release in September of that year and played in total for 136 hours. Starfield held my interest for three and a half month and I wrote seven blog posts about various aspects of the game. Although there were some engaging aspects to Starfield, I did feel that that the game was somewhat lacking in systems and content, at that point in its lifecycle. I also think that the marketing and player expectations associated with Starfield were overblown and unrealistic. The shadow of Skyrim looms large over all new Bethesda releases and they don’t seem able to quite recapture that magic. Hence, I inevitably drifted away from Starfield and to another game and was effectively “done” with it. I have not played the game since which seems to validate the theory that game are becoming increasingly more ephemeral.
13 days after its release, market analysts estimate that Crimson Desert has already earned $200 million across the four main platforms (PC, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X and S). The game is certainly proving popular among gamers with the internet awash with live streams and “let’s play” videos. However, reviews are mixed both among gaming journalists and YouTube influencers. Common complaints about the game include that it is slow to start, the controls are poorly laid out on all platforms and that developer’s Pearl Abyss have done a poor job of explaining most aspects of the game to new players. Although such criticisms are true to a degree, I think these complaints highlight how many gamers are conditioned to expect new titles to follow a specific pattern with regard to pacing, narrative exposition and learning in-game systems. A pattern that Pearl Abyss has chosen to ignore, instead favouring an old school approach.
Early on Crimson Desert, the main quest requires the player to enter a tavern and arm wrestle a particularly strong guard. The arm wrestling match consists of a quick time event. If playing on PC you have to rapidly press the “E” key which turns a power meter from white to red. Then a white dial appears above the meter with a rotating hand. When the hand passes over a segment of the dial that is marked by hatching, the player must press the “R” key. The idea being the meter filling with red is you strength building (or waning) and the “R” key prompt indicates when to try and force your opponent’s arm. You will need to to continuously press the “E” key throughout the arm wrestling match and the “R” key about 4 times to win.
Earlier this week, Nvidia posted a video featuring their latest iteration of DLSS technology (Deep learning super sampling). DLSS 5 is an AI-powered “real-time neural rendering” process and unlike previous versions that focused on improving frame rates through upscaling or frame generation, DLSS 5 uses generative AI to “infuse” frames with photorealistic lighting and material details that the game engine never actually calculated. Let us pause for a moment and consider these words. Material detail that the game engine never actually calculated. Therein lies the rub. If you watch the aforementioned video or peruse the images posted here, it is abundantly clear what the technology does.
Last night, I spent the first 45 minutes after the launch of Crimson Desert, watching the 92GB pre-downloaded game files slowly decompressing and installing. I finally launched the game at about 10:50 PM GMT. I then waited a further 5 minutes while shaders were downloaded. It took me about 15 minutes or so to read through the various game settings and choose those that are optimal for my PC. I suspect even if you have a beast of a computer, you’re still going to have to spend some time tweaking settings. As for those players like myself with a gaming rig that is somewhere in the middle of the game’s specifications, be prepared to do a lot of fine tuning both within Crimson Desert itself and your Windows settings.
I have been aware of the online interest around the open world action game Crimson Desert for a while now. One of the things that has intrigued me about it is the scope of the game. The word “hype” has been bandied about by a few gaming websites. However, from what I have observed, developers Pearl Abyss have not been excessively hyperbolic themselves, with regard to the manner in which the game’s systems and mechanics have been marketed. Now that the press embargo has been lifted, the pre-release reviews seem to confirm that everything we’ve seen in promotional videos in the run up to the launch, is in fact present in the game. So far the initial critical response has been very positive and it has been hinted that the game may well be a genre milestone. Perhaps Crimson Desert is just a rare example of a game that has not had a rushed development and isn’t launching prematurely for business reasons.
Video games as a genre are extremely poor at explaining themselves. When you buy a new game you’ll often find little or no information regarding the basic systems and mechanics. The industry assumes that their customers are by default familiar with the fundamentals of playing a modern video game. Hence if a game has a tutorial, it is often based around videos rather than detailed verbal instructions. You are are briefly shown a clip of a specific move being successfully undertaken but it is seldom shown in a wider context. The industry also expects the fan community to take on the role of curating and disseminating information about its games. The move away from forums and bespoke websites to Discord highlights this. Discord is a primarily a real time communication tool and not good at maintaining a historical data archive. If you want an answer to a specific gaming question, you’ll more than likely find it on YouTube in a video made by a fellow gamer.
I have written in the past about the video games we cannot play. The ones that require a keen understanding of a game’s mechanics, along with a strong degree of manual dexterity and situational awareness. Being 58 years old, I tend to have neither the co-ordination necessary to succeed or the patience to master such complex skill requirements. With this in mind, I recently watched a YouTube video for Chivalry 2 and thought, that looks like fun. The fact that it showed someone picking up a chicken and throwing it at an opponent is neither here nor there. However, after watching a few more videos I realised that combat in the game was complex and that, as usual, the reality of playing such a game would be different from my expectations. Hence, I came very close to not buying Chivalry 2. However, I eventually decided that I would, so I bought it for just under £10 from an online vendor.
I decided to pursue a magic and spellcasting build in the RPG Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon after the story prologue. During the opening section of the game, the player is presented with a sufficient range of weapons to determine which type suits them best, although you can change at any time during the game. For me, casting spells feels right and is fun. Plus I have fond memories of the magic system in Two Worlds II and Skyrim. So once I started playing through the first zone, I started putting attribute and skill points into the appropriate trees to bolster my spells strengths and frequency. I also chose gear that would bolster those statistics further. The results have been surprising, as magic and spellcasting is not presented in the usual “glass cannon” style you find in some other RPGs. Here it offers robust DPS output and with the right gear and spell combination, a strong degree of survivability.
I originally bought Warhammer: Dark Omen in the summer of 1998. I played a demo copy via a magazine cover disc, which was a common means of promotion and marketing back then. Although I was at that point, unfamiliar with the Warhammer Universe, I found this game to be an excellent point of entry. The story did an excellent job of introducing players to “The Old World”, the political and power structure and major characters. I instantly liked both the aesthetic and the lore. Warhammer: Dark Omen was also the first real-time tactical wargame that I played and I spent numerous hours playing through the campaign. Overall, the game was a critical success, particularly on PC, but it struggled commercially upon its initial release and didn’t quite find the audience that it deserved. However, it has achieved status as a “cult classic” among gamers, leading to a recent re-release on GOG in late 2025.
According to the recent “letter to the players”, Standing Stone Games will be adding a new zone to the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online in the second quarter of this year. Possibly around May or June. Having spent the last three expansions in the South of Middle-earth exploring the tropical Umbar and the deserts of Harad, I would certainly welcome a change of location. I have gradually warmed to these zones over the last eighteen months but I do find them so incongruous. They are so radically different to the European style content that has been the mainstay of the game for so long. Tolkien’s source text has plenty of detail regarding Eriador and Rhovanion. Information regarding Harad is scarce, hence it has afforded the developers a great deal of artistic freedom. Although exceedingly well realised these tropical zones have taken a while for me to get used to.
I’m not sure exactly when it started but I’ve recently noticed a graphical bug within the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online. This problem often occurs within caves or in areas where there are a lot of rocky surfaces. Hence it has become very apparent in the latest two expansions, set in Umbar and Harad. This graphical glitch causes some surface textures to appear to flash from light to dark intermittently. The resulting strobe effect is hard to ignore and very distracting. Fortunately, a quick online search showed that this is not a problem unique to my installation of LOTRO and is a known problem. Furthermore, there is a very simple workaround, which is to go into the Advanced Graphics setting and uncheck “Per Pixel Lighting”, which immediately remedies the problem. I have no idea why this has recently started to happen but at least it can be resolved.
This year is the 60th anniversary of Star Trek. The original TV show was first broadcast in the US on September 8th 1966. If you search online you’ll find details of lots of related events. There are documentaries, conventions, new TV shows and even some video games in development. However, what you won’t find are any details regarding what will be happening with the MMORPG Star Trek Online. So far no road map for 2026 has been posted online by the developers but it is still quite early in the New Year. That being the case, I am not especially optimistic about there being any major plans waiting to be revealed. It is not as if DECA Games have demonstrated or stated any major ambitions for STO beyond keeping the endless events treadmill going and regularly adding content to the in-game store, during their development tenure. The ongoing story arc drags on inexorably and is as dull as ditchwater.
I first played The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim in June 2013. This was over 18 months after the game’s initial release and the base game and DLC were bundled together in a “Legendary” edition. Although a seasoned gamer at the time, familiar with the RPG genre with such titles as Mass Effect and Grand Theft Auto IV, I had not played a game from this franchise before. It only took a few hours of gameplay to realise that this was a special title. The scope of the story, the art design and the size of the world were immediately notable. Tamriel was immersive in a way I had not experienced with other titles. Often simply traversing the terrain and watching the dawn break while the game soundtrack swelled, was sufficient to hold my attention. I instantly picked up on the voice acting of Christopher Plummer and Max Von Sydow. All of which indicated that this was a gaming landmark.
The latest expansion for the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online, Kingdoms of Harad, launched on December 3rd. With this release the level cap was raised from 150 to 160. It should also be noted that the cap for virtue traits was also raised from 96 to 100. Naturally these changes meant that there is a requirement to replace all armour and jewellery once the new cap is reached. Similarly Legendary Items have to be reforged and any traceries upgraded or replaced. If you follow the Epic Story it will lead you from quest hub to quest hub. The main quest rewards, along with those from side quests will provide adequate gear as you slowly progress towards the new level cap. The new raids, instances and missions/delvings then provide a means to acquire higher quality level 160 gear. LOTRO and indeed, many other MMOs are consistent in this methodology.
It is customary in a post such as this to list the various games that I’ve played over the last twelve months and share my thoughts on them. Wider analysis of the video game industry is also de rigeur. Unfortunately, I don’t really feel disposed to do either of those two things. My thoughts on the games I’ve played have already been published and can easily be accessed via the links at the bottom of this post. As for the video game industry, it suffers the same flaws as music, TV and cinema. There is creativity and innovation out there but it is often drowned out by mainstream products which are demonstrably inferior due to their inherent mediocrity. As for the business side of things, we once again clearly see the failings of the corporate management class. Sadly, they do not face the consequences of the mistakes that they make.
I recently read a post on Massively Overpowered about skills rotation in the MMORPG genre. I found the subsequent discussion in the comments fascinating. Mainly because I have never used a fixed rotation of skills in any of the MMORPGs that I play. I understand the reasoning behind such things and why some players want to optimise their combat performance. Using one’s skills in a specific order to maximise damage and manage their subsequent cooldown has a logical appeal. In Star Trek Online, some players go so far as to create keybinds for their rotations and assign it to a specific hotkey, which is then continuously pressed throughout combat. However, rotations are a blunt tool that lack flexibility, often being geared towards dealing with a single target or using an area of effect skill against a larger group. They may not be the optimal approach to combat when things do not go to plan.