Thoughts on Blaugust 2024
Approximately 110 bloggers signed up to the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging this year. 60 of those were new to the event. They were either just starting out on their blogging adventures or trying to revitalise their existing activities. I fell into the latter group as I decided to use this yearly activity as a means to return to writing regularly, after a nine month absence. 31 days later I think the event has been a learning process and a voyage of self discovery for a lot of people, myself included. No matter how well you extol the virtues and merits of writing online, you cannot get away from the fundamental facts that it requires a commitment to write and that it will eat into your leisure time. Many people have a genuine urge to write but just get hamstrung by the finite nature of their free time. That is not a personal failure. It is just the nature of modern life. Therefore, if you just managed to get one post published over the last month, then well done. It’s 100% better than none.
Binky thinks you should blog about fish
Approximately 110 bloggers signed up to the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging this year. 60 of those were new to the event. They were either just starting out on their blogging adventures or trying to revitalise their existing activities. I fell into the latter group as I decided to use this yearly activity as a means to return to writing regularly, after a nine month absence. 31 days later I think the event has been a learning process and a voyage of self discovery for a lot of people, myself included. No matter how well you extol the virtues and merits of writing online, you cannot get away from the fundamental facts that it requires a commitment to write and that it will eat into your leisure time. Many people have a genuine urge to write but just get hamstrung by the finite nature of their free time. That is not a personal failure. It is just the nature of modern life. Therefore, if you just managed to get one post published over the last month, then well done. It’s 100% better than none.
Blaugust is a good teacher. You will encounter technical skills such as time management, writing ahead of schedule and banking ideas. You can also discover what your blogging voice is and whether you will be writing short streams of consciousness, lengthy reviews, musing on specific subjects or long form reviews. You may decide to do none of these and find a different niche altogether. Blaugust has a knack of galvanising bloggers into action and experimenting with how, when and where they write. What platform you use to write and whether you want a domain are also decisions that may come up. Which of course is the point of the entire event. It’s not just about the technicalities of writing but wider issues as well. Sadly, not all of the lessons are happy ones. Some people discover that they cannot sustain the writing schedule they were hoping for, or realise that blogging isn’t actually for them.
Barnaby is shit posting about sport
However you’ve personally fared with Blaugust the community based around its Discord server is still available throughout the year. Many people find it both supportive and filled with useful resources. I certainly think having people posting links to their content and sharing thoughts on each other’s work is a major factor in maintaining a sense of motivation and engagement. Ultimately, that is the key to blogging. Once you’ve determined what you want to write about, how you’re going to do it and when you can fit it into your routine then the final piece of the puzzle is to sit down and write. Many people who have successfully written throughout Blaugust will now be faced with two possible courses of action. To continue in a way that suits them or to slowly reduce their output until they stop. That is not a judgement but a simple statement of fact. The dropoff rate after any writing event is a reality. It’s up to you how you address it.
I hope that a lot of the people who have completed Blaugust choose to continue. Each year I discover new blogs to follow and 2024 has been no different. I find it reassuring that people are still thinking and expressing themselves online. Furthermore, I hope you have enjoyed this month’s event as much as I have. Setting aside the practical lessons that Blaugust has to offer, I hope you have had fun. Informal writing such as blogging should be fun. As for me, I shall endeavour to continue writing on a regular basis. I am happy to do so at present and judging by my drafts folder, I have a lot of ideas for future posts. However, if you feel that your blogging journey is at an end or needs to take an extended break, there’s always next year. You can always take part again. In the meantime, don’t be a stranger. You know where to find us and everyone is welcome. Even Colin.
It is obligatory to start these sorts of posts by reiterating the standard mantra that you should not be driven by your websites stats and that the data they contain can be unreliable. Although a sound philosophy in principle, it is actually more nuanced than that. Such data can be useful for growth if used wisely. I have never been coy about trying to increase my readership. For me it seems an integral aspect of blogging. Over the course of 2026, the traffic to Contains Moderate Peril has doubled. A lot of that is down to curious spikes in visits which seems to be AI scraping the entire site. Setting aside these anomalies, more people are reading posts and a lot are doing so via the site’s RSS feed. All of which is fine by me as growing the audience for this blog was a goal for this year, I am quite pleased by this development and the ongoing progress. I hope it continues.
There is a subtle difference between being rash and being proactive. Being rash means acting too fast without thinking about the results, while being proactive is a question of acting early with careful planning. Why have I mentioned this? Well prima facie information indicates that recent Blaugust participants are interested in an “official” online presence for the annual festival of blogging, other than that existing Discord server. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Not everyone likes using Discord and I do worry that they may reduce its free functionality at some point in the future. With regard to there being a Blaugust platform of some kind, there is a consensus that it doesn’t need to be some sort of sprawling commercially hosted website running on Wix or such like. Those sorts of site require funding, a degree of admin and possibly private data management. It also a bit too “corporate” if you like. Hence the logical compromise is to have a static site. Let it suffice to say, that has been done.
Judging by the posts I’ve read, it would appear that Blaugust 2026: Festival of Blogging has been well received by those who participated in it. That is most satisfying to know, especially in light of the fact that this is the first year the event has been run without our founder who sadly past away in July. It has also become clear that Blaugust is reaching a far wider and diverse audience and most definitely is no longer the exclusive province of bloggers from one particular community. There has been healthy discussions on our Discord server about whether this year event needs to adapt to accommodate the modern blogosphere. Questions such as whether or not there needs to be a dedicated Blaugust website have been raised and explored. Should every site participating have an RSS feed? How, if required, should comments be handled. Inevitably, the subject of the use of AI in blogging still remains a controversial issue.
After a very productive month of writing, we come to the final Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt. It is titled lessons learned and is usually a chance to reflect on the festival and whether or not it has been to one’s satisfaction. Have you achieved your goals? What have you gained from the experience? Those sorts of things. It also poses two further questions; “What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?” and “what’s the best advice you’ve ever given to someone else?” for your consideration. I’ll address the questions shortly. Firstly let’s mull over this years event and assess how it’s gone.
It was my blogging anniversary on the 16th August. I’ve been writing and sharing my post online for 19 years, via various different websites and blogs. This current iteration of Contains Moderate Peril has been around since August 2015. To date it has 2,171 posts including this one. Quantity does not necessarily equate to quality but there are some articles I am proud of and feel that they make their point effectively.
This week’s Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt is an important topic. Namely, staying motivated. I prepared a fairly lengthy post with some advice and ideas to keep people focused and writing. Then I checked it against the post I wrote last year and the year before that, going back to blogging events from 2012. All of these posts broadly said the same thing, so I decided to scrap what I had composed for today and to go with a simpler approach. I shall answer the questions Krikket posed for this writing prompt. Fellow blogger Bhagpuss has also done so and as ever, his thoughts are interesting and well expressed. Here are my answers.
Once again, I have stumbled across an interesting debate that has provided me with an opportunity to write a blog post. Over on the Blaugust Discord Server, I read a comment from AgingGamer regarding RSS feeds and their significance with regard to blogging. This in turn referred me to a post by fyr (don’t you love all these nom de plumes) who wrote at depth about the ongoing community debate about the use of RSS/Atom feeds. The article explored the importance of such feeds with regard to reaching readers and providing accessibility to the disabled. All of which provided me with a great deal of food for thought. Mainly because I use a mainstream website service provider for my online endeavours, so RSS is by default built. I’ve never really considered not having such a facility at my disposal. But the rise in the IndieWeb scene challenges this assumption.
I have written two blog posts today that I have subsequently abandoned. The first was gaming related but when I was about halfway through writing it, I felt like I was covering old ground and just repeating myself. It was also regarding an issue that can’t really be fixed. Namely, how do you ensure that matchmaking in PVP games is done equitably. As there is no solution to this issue at present, or at least not one that all parties can agree on, I decided to ditch it. Similarly a post I was working on about what becomes of my blog if anything happens to me was curtailed. In light of recent events in our community it seemed inappropriate. However, as a result of binning two blog posts, I new idea occurred to me. Do my fellow bloggers self-edit and curtail what they write about? Is your blog totally unfiltered or do you apply a set of rules that determine what content is deemed acceptable?
It is time for the next Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt. This one comes with two lines of enquiry. The first is an opportunity to “introduce yourself”. Over the years, I have written several introductory posts for previous Blaugust events. Rather than repeat myself I’ll just link to the last one, which was posted in August 2023. I haven’t radically charged since then apart from my hair going whiter. The next part of the prompt poses a far more intriguing question. “If you could have one magical power or super power, what would you choose and what would you use it for?”, which offers much for consideration. Having given this proposition much thought here is my response.
A decade ago I wrote a post about blogrolls and the practical and social issues surrounding them. At the time, the version of Squarespace I was using didn’t easily support such things or at least wasn’t able to do so in a manner I liked, so I didn’t have one. Ten years later Squarespace as a hosting platform has far greater functionality, hence I recently decided to add a blogroll. That was in March this year. However it just wasn’t really fit for purpose. So I decided to revise it a few days ago and rather than just have a traditional list of blogs in a side column, I ended up producing a more comprehensive blog directory, which list two hundred plus sites alpha-numerically. I’ve been tinkering with it on and off and I am now finally happy with it. The latest update reflects the international nature of the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging and the fact that we have many blogs written in their native language. Translating text is now an integral function of web browsers, so I see no reason why these blogs should be excluded.
Today’s post is part of the Blaugust 2026 Group project, which features a series of writing prompts set for specific dates throughout the month. The idea being that everyone who wishes to participate can write about the same subject, riff off each other’s posts and enjoy a shared experience. In many respect having a common writing prompt levels the playing field and provides a sense of common purpose among those who take part. Today’s group project prompt asks the question “tell us all about your very first blog”. An unambiguous and interesting question that will hopefully prove enjoyable to write about and informative to others.
I have been writing online for nearly two decades. I don’t claim to be good or accomplished but what I can say with certainty is that the more often you write, the easier it becomes. For those who are new to writing a blog and the Blaugust Festival of Blogging, possibly the biggest hurdle that you now have to get over, is writing your first post of the month. You spent the lead up to this event sorting out your blog templates, fine tuning the backend and possibly banking some ideas. Or you may have decided to just wing it and make it all up as you go along. Both are perfectly valid approaches. However, there is one thing left to do that cannot be put off, avoided or danced around. Writing. At some point you’ve got to do it. Or bail on the event. The proverbial “shit or get off the pot”.
If you take a cursory look at a calendar you will see that the month of July is fast coming to an end. That means that Blaugust 2026 Festival of Blogging starts in a few days time! If you’re participating, or thinking of doing so, the next few days present a golden opportunity to do some practical organising and basic preparation. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Feel free to just do things as they come, so to speak, if that’s your approach. However, for most of us, it helps if we have some kind of plan in place and make some arrangements in advance. I personally prefer this approach and like to have some ideas for blog posts in the bank. It is also useful to have “options” if something doesn’t go to plan. For those who are new to Blaugust, here are a few ideas regarding preparation that may be of use to you. As ever, your personal mileage may vary and ultimately you are best off adopting a strategy that suits your writing style and personal schedule.
Prior to last year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging, I upgraded Contains Moderate Peril to the latest version of Squarespace. There are still some aspects of the site that need fine tuning but overall, I am happy with the appearance of my blog and its respective functionality. With this year’s writing event fast approach, I decided to tackle over the last few days, some of those finer points that need tweaking. I have wanted a post counter on the site for a long time but unfortunately there is no native Squarespace widget for this basic function. I also felt the need to upgrade the blogroll, as the current one didn’t support RSS feeds from certain sites (e.g. Google Blogger) and was dependent upon a third party service, Elfsight, which wasn’t ideal. Both of these issues have now been addressed and I am pleased with the results. There is now a post counter on the Blog Archive page, which seems a logical place to have it and the Blogroll is now far more comprehensive.
Next month the annual Blaugust: Festival of Blogging begins. Roundabout this time each year, I try to write a promotional post to raise awareness of the event and encourage potential participants. However, as I’ve done this quite a few times before, each year it is becomes increasingly difficult to present the essential facts about Blaugust: Festival of Blogging in an interesting fashion. There’s nothing worse than writing a post and feeling that you’re just covering old ground. So, this year, I thought I’d try something different and present the most important information about this annual event, as if it were a conversation between myself and an interested passer by. Feel free to attribute novelty voices for each party in your own head, while you read this. If it helps, try imagining that this discussion is happening between two celebrities or such like. Both may be wearing exotic hats but I digress. On with the scenario.
I read a blog post by Void recently, about finding a new internet home. He wrote about how he and many others have had to pick up their “digital roots” and migrate multiple times over the years, from one platform to another. It is a position I can sympathise with as I have done likewise. Hence I like the idea of having a place online where I hangout by default. My own blog is an anchor for me but it is not quite the same thing as a platform or online portal where I can find all my friends and colleagues, share content and shoot the breeze. It’s a curious thing, because as I typed that last sentence it struck how such a sentiment may seem alien to others. There may well be people who like to have a finger in multiple pies and who are happy to frequent and flit between various social media apps, Discord servers and subreddits. I prefer to focus my efforts on a single instance. A place that suits my requirements, allows me to put down roots and become part of the furniture. Like a virtual Diogenes Club.
Everyday, once I’m up, I sit at my desk in my office, fire up my PC and log into Feedly. I have various RSS feeds grouped by category, which I slowly trawl through and read anything that catches my eye. I have one curated feed named “Blaugust” named after the yearly festival of blogging event. It has over 250 blogs listed, many of which are former participants. Most of these regularly post. Hence there’s a lot to get through and so I don’t read all of them. However there are a few that I always checkout. Mainly because they’re the personal musings of some of our writing community’s oldest and most prodigious members. The sorts of guys and gals who are part of the furniture. They’ve always been there and it feels like they always will. Posting their thoughts, sharing their enthusiasm and spreading the love, so to speak. One of these blogs, is Tales of the Aggronaut. written by Belghast.
On Friday 26th June, I had another random spike in internet traffic to Contains Moderate Peril. The statistical package that comes with my Squarespace account recorded over 13k visits in less than 24 hours, which is not typical (although I wish it was). However, all of these visits to my blog arrived via the default homepage and spent between 1 and 2 minutes there. Hence, it was obvious that this was not human traffic, as there was no evidence of any searches being made of content that is available on my site, nor of the “visitors” clicking on any of the links on the top menu and viewing other posts. This was undoubtedly AI traffic arriving at the designated homepage and simply parsing the site. I had a similar spate of this sort of web traffic last November. The only difference on that occasion is that the traffic all came from China. This time round it hailed from the US. I suspect that this is something that will happen more often as companies set their AI loose on the net for what is effectively training.
I recently watched a video on Patreon by someone who I actively support as a “content creator” and whose work I enjoy. I shall provide no more detail regarding their identity because they may not want their work referenced with regard to what I am going to say. During the course of their video they briefly referenced the work put into promoting a podcast they are currently producing and the relatively low audience that it has garnered so far. The comments were an aside and most certainly not said with any sense of self-pity. They were simply a statement of fact. Furthermore, I suspect they are far from unique and similar sentiments have been expressed in one way or another by anyone who has created something the published it online, only for it to be lost among the greater white noise” of the wider internet.
When I first started blogging way back in 2007, I maintained a blogroll of all my colleagues and peers’ websites. At the time this was a common practice and a way to support an expanding community. I considered this such an important aspect of the blogging scene at the time, I created a website to aggregate posts from video game blogs, called The Gaming Blog Nexus. It ran for two years and proved quite useful. However, it was tricky to administer and would frequently break as a lot of the back end widgets and plugins were created and maintained by “gifted amateurs”. I eventually shut it down due to the operating costs. When I moved my own website, Contains Moderate Peril, to Squarespace in 2015 I intended to start maintaining a blogroll once again. However, at that time there was no native support for such a thing on the platform. Hence for the last ten years, I have not had a blogroll on my website, which hasn’t sat well with me.
I was speaking to someone recently about hobbies (fortunately it wasn’t Simon Quinlank) and I mentioned that I have maintained a blog for over a 19 years. When I talked about the ongoing cost they were most surprised, as they had assumed that blogging was something that could be done for free. I guess we’ve become so accustomed to the provision of free online services such as email, that this a reasonable assumption. I pointed out that although it is indeed possible to blog for free using Blogger, it was not the optimal approach, especially if you want to maintain some degree of control over your writing. Naturally, the next question they asked was how much do I spend and I gave them a ballpark figure. All of which reminded me that I wrote a post on this very subject a few years ago. So I’ve decided to revisit the subject and see how much it currently costs to maintain Contains Moderate Peril.
Today I started the slow process of auditing every post that has been published on Contains Moderate Peril since 1st August 2016. The goal is to correct any obvious typos and replace all existing images with larger ones. The Squarespace software upgrade I applied to the website at the end of last year has finally allowed me to establish a standard format that I am happy with. Hence the ongoing audit is the perfect opportunity to apply these style rules to all posts. There are also some technical issues and matters regarding functionality that need to be addressed. I need to determine how to embed YouTube videos in such a way that they automatically scale to fit whatever device is viewing them. Another area which needs improving is the website search facility. This needs refinement so that enquiries can be more specific. Older posts also need to be more accessible, although I am still researching how best to achieve this.
It’s nearly two and half months since the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event ended. During that time I’ve maintained a fairly regular writing schedule and I post every two days or so. Furthermore, I finally dragged my blog template, kicking and screaming, into the modern era. I tweaked a few pages and updated the content of the “about” page. The next task is to start going through all previous posts and replacing older, low resolution images with larger, more appropriate ones. This process also presents an opportunity to ensure that all posts follow a uniform style. IE Are appropriately categorised, have links to related posts at the bottom and are SEO optimised. This will be a lengthy task so I think the best approach will be to tackle two or three posts a day. Hopefully this will raise the profile of older content, which generates the lion’s hare of traffic to this site.
I use a browser extension called Control Panel for YouTube, which allows me to determine who many videos are displayed on my YouTube homepage and to filter the content that is shown. At present it is configured to display rows of six. Something that I have noticed of late, is the amount of videos with hyperbolic titles and thumbnail images created by AI. Both of which are design choices made to increase engagement. Clickbait titles are contrived to meet current SEO optimisation criteria and as such feature more and more in search results. The fact that they frequently have no relation to the subject I am researching, seems to be neither here nor there. The same issues arise with regard to AI generated images, which again frequently have no bearing on the matter. The fact that more and more content creators do this, infers that it works and is now an essential part of the process you must follow to be seen and featured in search results.
In the last post in this series, I specified the need for a plan with regard to upgrading my blog. Well a plan has emerged, been refined and has now been formally adopted. Rather than migrate Contains Moderate Peril to a new platform and effectively have to rebuild all the content, I am going to upgrade my existing presence on Squarespace. This decision was made for two reasons. Time and money. Migrating to a new platform will take a lot of time and incur additional costs. Upgrading the existing website will take less time and has no cost implications. That is not to say that it will be easy. It has become abundantly clear that the upgrade process will break stuff and that all published posts will have to be manually repaired. Hence my choice boils down to the lesser of two evils.
This year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging has reached an end and it would appear that this event has been well received by those who have participated in it. I believe that there were 168 bloggers taking part this year, many of whom have not participated before. Some were new to blogging, where others simply wished to see if they could increase their writing output. As ever there was a wide variety of blog styles and subject matters and it has been most interesting to read new posts every day. I have attempted to leave comments and positive feedback where I can and I hope that some of these new blogs that I’ve discovered continue to write. Well done to everyone who took part. I hope it has been an enjoyable and informative process and that you have learned from it. I know that at least one blogger has determined that writing online is not for them, which is a valuable lesson.
There is currently a group writing prompt available as part of this year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging which has piqued my interest. It asks the question “what is the oldest draft post you have” and suggests that it is revived in some manner. I have dozens of draft posts in a folder in my Google Drive. Many are film reviews or film related. The oldest of which dates back to summer 2010. Rather than write a straight forward review of Blake Edwards 1968 comedy The Party, I rather foolishly thought at the time that I’d tackle the issue of whether the film is sufficiently racist to make it beyond the pale. Let it suffice to say that I quickly found myself bogged down in the complexities of the subject and thus never completed the blog post.
I’ve participated in every previous Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event. Prior to that I was involved in the Newbie Blogger Initiative or NBI as it was affectionately known. I have therefore written quite a lot of blogging advice and suggestions over the years. If anyone feels disposed to do so, you can access them all by clicking on the “blogging” option on the top menu of this blog. However, it is important to remember that a lot of the ideas I have advocated and written about over the years are purely subjective. Not all advice or guidance works for everyone. People have different ideas about blogging, different approaches to it and different aspirations. This year has highlighted some quite distinct differences among bloggers which has been most illuminating.
Today is my blogging anniversary. I have been writing online consistently for 18 years. My earliest blogs no longer exist, although they can be found via the Internet Archive Wayback Machine. My first blog was a Lord of the Rings Online fansite called Misadventures in LOTRO. After a while this morphed into a wider gaming website; Misadventures in Gaming. However, I soon discovered that I wanted to write about more than just video games, so I decided to start from scratch and created Contains Moderate Peril in February 2010. This blog endured and has been my main online presence ever since. It has moved several times for various reasons. For a while I had a sponsor, as well as a reasonably sized audience and had dreams of making money from my writing and podcast. But it wasn’t to be and now I just write primarily for my own peace of mind and amusement.
This year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging has already raised a very interesting debate. An old one that habitually comes up when discussing blogs. Namely, whether a blog should or should not have “comments” enabled. However this time round there is a different slant on things. Rather than the usual binary choice of having comments enabled or disabled on your site, this time round there is a third option available. Leaving comments via email or a third party service such as Mastodon. Both of these additional options keep comments conspicuously at arms length from your website. Furthermore, the email option makes the comments private, instead of in the public domain. All of which puts a subtly different spin on conventional notions of blog comments and makes this ongoing discussion all the more interesting.
More DIY
I fitted a new toilet seat today because the old one was broken. To be pedantic, it was the lid over the seat that was actually broken. It would appear they don’t support the weight of a 56 year old man who is reaching for a rubber ducky. However, the complexities of the circumstances leading to the lid breaking are ultimately irrelevant. The problem needed to be addressed as there were dangerous sharp edges. Therefore, to make things easier, I ordered the exact same make and model of toilet seat that I had previously bought in April 2021. Upon subsequent reflection, I do wonder how often the average person changes their toilet seat? Is three years considered a high turnover by the toilet seat statistical community? Who knows? But I digress. The new seat arrived today and in a fit of hubris I thought I’d quickly install it in the morning after showering. I reckoned it would only take half an hour or so. How foolish of me.
I fitted a new toilet seat today because the old one was broken. To be pedantic, it was the lid over the seat that was actually broken. It would appear they don’t support the weight of a 56 year old man who is reaching for a rubber ducky. However, the complexities of the circumstances leading to the lid breaking are ultimately irrelevant. The problem needed to be addressed as there were dangerous sharp edges. Therefore, to make things easier, I ordered the exact same make and model of toilet seat that I had previously bought in April 2021. Upon subsequent reflection, I do wonder how often the average person changes their toilet seat? Is three years considered a high turnover by the toilet seat statistical community? Who knows? But I digress. The new seat arrived today and in a fit of hubris I thought I’d quickly install it in the morning after showering. I reckoned it would only take half an hour or so. How foolish of me.
Now the reason I wanted the same model as before is because it has a quick release mechanism for taking off the seat. Therefore I was hoping I could simply swap out the broken seat with the new one and not have to mess about installing any fittings. The new seat could just click onto the existing posts. So I unpacked the replacement seat, lined up the holes on the hinge with the posts and lowered it down expecting it to conveniently click into place. Except that it didn’t. The existing posts were too thick. Hence I had to get on my hands and knees and reach under the toilet bowl and unscrew the current fittings. Now you may or may not know this but getting on the floor and into confined spaces is a bitch when you’re 56. The problem was further compounded as the existing wingnuts were done up “finger tight” by my son, so they were disinclined to yield.
I find that most problems are easier to solve after lunch, so I took an extended break and had a midday meal along with a couple of pints of beer for medicinal reasons, at a local cafe. Feeling suitably fortified I returned to the job in hand and decided rather than try and unscrew the wingnuts, I’d rotate the posts using an adjustable spanner. This strategy worked and the fittings became loose. I was then able to unscrew the wingnuts and remove the posts. After another beer (I was thirsty by this point), I then installed the new fittings that came with the replacement toilet seat. The posts lined up with the holes in the hinge and this time round the seat clicked securely into place. I stepped back to admire my handy work and basked in the glory of my victory accordingly. I assume this is how Marcus Agrippa felt after the Battle of Actium or all those Amish people after they built that barn in the film Witness.
There was a time when working with your hands was part of most people’s daily life. Furthermore, being a skilled craftsman was venerated by one’s peers and the wider community. Sadly, the days of many of us having practical skills are long gone. We live in a world where we don’t fully understand how everything in our homes actually works and certainly don’t have the necessary skills to fix things. In fact our lifestyle has become so disposable that it often doesn’t even cross our minds whether something can be repaired. Too often we seek to replace by default. My clumsy struggle to fit a toilet seat is in some respects quite shameful. I may have technical skills but they can’t put up shelves or install a shower. My father, who was a practical man, would have rolled his eyes at my incompetence. But this is the world we live in and I am not alone in my lack of DIY skills.
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power Season 2
Two years ago, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power premiered on Amazon Prime to mixed reviews and a tedious and predictable internet brouhaha. I have no interest in that debacle as I consider it spurious, to say the least. Representation is a commercial imperative for any big budget television production. As for any deviation from the established canon, that’s due to the show being an “adaptation” of Tolkien’s work. At no point were viewers promised a literal interpretation of the source text. Therefore I am only interested in legitimate critiques of the show based upon its production, writing and acting. As far as I’m concerned, the first season was broadly entertaining and had outstanding production values. Overall I enjoyed The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power as an exciting and inventive take on Tolkien’s legendarium. Hence, I have been looking forward to the second season, which began today.
Two years ago, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power premiered on Amazon Prime to mixed reviews and a tedious and predictable internet brouhaha. I have no interest in that debacle as I consider it spurious, to say the least. Representation is a commercial imperative for any big budget television production. As for any deviation from the established canon, that’s due to the show being an “adaptation” of Tolkien’s work. At no point were viewers promised a literal interpretation of the source text. Therefore I am only interested in legitimate critiques of the show based upon its production, writing and acting. As far as I’m concerned, the first season was broadly entertaining and had outstanding production values. Overall I enjoyed The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power as an exciting and inventive take on Tolkien’s legendarium. Hence, I have been looking forward to the second season, which began today.
As I have only watched the first three episodes of Season 2, this is not a review. It is simply some initial thoughts. My opinion may change when I have seen all eight episodes. So far, relocation of the production from New Zealand to the UK does not appear to have had a detrimental impact on the show’s aesthetics or high quality. Weta FX and Industrial Light and Magic still continue to produce the lionshare of visual effects. Long term Tolkien illustrator John Howe, remains the main conceptual artist and although there has been changes in staff relating to costume and production design, there still appears to be a sense of visual continuity between this show and Peter Jackson’s feature films. Bear McCreary has also been retained to provide the score and has again provided some outstanding new themes. I was pleasantly surprised to see cast member Benjamin Walker singing “Golden Leaves” in Sindarin. Song is such an integral part of Tolkien’s work.
Narratively, Season 2 quickly resumes where the previous ended. Here are a few of the ongoing plot points. In an extended flashback we see why the transition of power from Morgoth to Sauron did not go well. We also get to see Sauron in an earlier physical guise played by Jack Lowden. The “meteor man” has reached Rhûn with Nori the Harfoot and it would appear that they are being tracked by the minions of a “Dark Wizard”. The unnamed sorcerer refers to the “meteor man” as an Istar, a Quenya term for “wise”. The Wizards of the Third Age were known as the Istari; “wise ones”. In Khazad-dûm, seismic activity caused by the eruption of Mount Doom leads to the collapse of many of the city’s light wells, disrupting the Dwarves’ means of food production. In Eregion, Sauron takes the guise of Annatar, Lord of Gifts and tricks Celebrimbor into making further rings of power.
So far it seems that show runners, J. D. Payne and Patrick McKay, are working more within the parameters of Tolkien’s legendarium than previously. This may be due to the story moving forward into more closely defined “history”. The addition of further canonical characters such as Narvi (Kevin Eldon) and Círdan (Ben Foster) certainly makes the proceedings feel more “Tolkienesque”. Adar, the Dark Elf chieftain of the Orcs, is played by a different actor to season one but due to the prosthetic makeup, it doesn’t make any significant difference. I am extremely curious to see Rory Kinnear as Tom Bombadil and I saw via the IMDb that Jim Broadbent is providing a voice for what may be an Ent. I find the presence of so many established UK actors reassuring. Also the fact that the show uses Hammer’s old studios at Bray, in Berkshire.
Season 2 of The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power has gotten off to a good start. With five more episodes to go, it can still cover a lot of ground. At present it is the non canonical material that holds my interest the most. The introduction of a “Dark Wizard” in Rhûn is not an implausible plot element. The Blue Wizards travelled to that region and were ultimately lost. Saruman himself dwelt there at one point. And then there is the Dark Elf Adar, allegedly one of the first to be corrupted by Morgoth. In another bold choice, there is a brief appearance in episode three of a female Orc holding an Orc baby. Rather than being perturbed by the creative choices of the showrunners, I find them a source of fascination. If I want pure Tolkien, then there are the source texts and audio productions to enjoy. The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power is ultimately just one of many interpretations of Middle-earth. I suspect in the years to come there will be more. Not all will be to everyone’s tastes. However, if they introduce people to the original texts then that is no bad thing.
Sometime in August 1979, I was travelling with my father by train to London, when I first saw posters advertising the Ralph Bakshi animated version of J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. The film had been released in the US the previous November and I aware of its existence because I had read articles about it production in Starburst magazine. Even at the age of 11 I was interested in genre films and television, having been raised on Doctor Who and Ray Harryhausen’s back catalogue of fantasy movies. Furthermore, I was familiar with Tolkien’s first novel, The Hobbit, as my father had read it to me when I was younger. I was impressed by the poster in that way that only an 11 year old can be. Why was Gandalf do gigantic? Also the A rating was enigmatic. Most animated films were usually rated U. Yet despite my interest, I didn’t see The Lord of the Rings at the cinema during the summer holidays.
On Tuesday 11th April, Aspyr Media rather surprisingly re-released The Lord of the Rings: War in the North, a co-op action-RPG from 2011. This game was delisted in late 2019, possibly due to changing rights ownership or a license expiring. Hence, I was somewhat discombobulated by the return of this title to all major gaming platforms. Mind you, the Embracer Group (through its subsidiary Middle-earth Enterprises) still controls the worldwide commercial and video game licensing rights for The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Furthermore they have explicitly stated that they have plans for more games. It would appear this also means re-releasing and updating old favourites. It is also worth noting that they own Aspyr Media, which is also a bit of a giveaway. Let it suffice to say that this re-release and sparked enthusiastic online debate as to whether any other he Lord of the Rings themed games from the same era will receive a similar makeover. Judging by the internet chatter, there’s potentially a market for them.
At the start of the 2001 film, The Fellowship of the Rings, director Peter Jackson has crafted a compelling and visual stunning prologue. It distils a great deal of Tolkien’s text and conveys the essential history of the One Ring succinctly. Cinematically it works extremely well but it is sadly far from canonical due to all the practical considerations a film maker has to make when adapting a lore dense text. I have often wondered exactly how Sauron was defeated at the end of the Second Age because Tolkien is somewhat vague in The Lord of the Rings. Gil-galad, Elendil and Isildur all seem to be involved in physically fighting the Dark Lord. Gil-galad died due to being burned by Sauron’s touch. Elendil also died in combat and his sword Narsil broke beneath him. Isildur claimed to have delivered the killing blow after his father was defeated. However, no character in the story provides a definite, linear account of these event.
Tolkien enthusiasts may recollect Athlon Games, a subsidiary of Leyou Technologies, announcing that it was developing a new MMORPG, based upon The Lord of the Rings, back in September 2018. The following summer, it was revealed that Amazon Game Studios was the partner developer for the project. In late 2020, Leyou Technologies (a Hong Kong-based company), was acquired by the Chinese conglomerate Tencent. This triggered a contract clause with the license holder, Middle-earth Enterprises, allowing them to terminate the existing arrangement if a new deal could not be met. Amazon and Tencent were unable to agree upon how to proceed with the project, leading Amazon to withdraw from negotiations. The project was subsequently scrapped. No details or images of the MMO have been released.
Song is a fundamental aspect of Tolkien's writing, serving the same role as it does in our own cultures. It is a means of documenting history, expressing cultural heritage and maintaining traditions for the people of Middle-earth. The Ents sing lists of lore. The Rohirrim sing of battle and heroic deeds and the Shire folk, of ale and frivolity. Let us not forget that Tolkien’s fictitious world, Arda, was effectively sung into existence via the Ainulindalë, the divine music of creation sung by the Ainur. The cultural significance of song is also a key element of Tolkien’s world building. The songs within the narrative bolster the authenticity of the various cultures of Middle-earth, embedding their history and heritage into the story. Music, rhymes and songs also help define characters. The lighter ones sung by hobbits, provide lighthearted moments, contrasting with the dark and dangerous tones of the larger narrative. It also reinforced their rustic heritage.
I have always found it curious that there haven't been more feature films set in Middle-earth, after the success of Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy. However, a little research shows a very complex set of rights regarding Tolkien’s work, with different material being controlled and administered by different bodies. Hence, the market has not been saturated with officially licensed material. Thus, when The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim was announced to be in production, it aroused a great deal of curiosity both among fans and those with an interest in the wider film industry. To base an entire feature film on something that is effectively just a few paragraphs in the appendices of The Lord of the Rings is quite intriguing. The producers claimed it afforded them greater artistic freedom not to be constrained by an excess of lore. Industry pundits theorised that the film was being produced solely to ensure that wider rights were retained.
Two years ago, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power premiered on Amazon Prime to mixed reviews and a tedious and predictable internet brouhaha. I have no interest in that debacle as I consider it spurious, to say the least. Representation is a commercial imperative for any big budget television production. As for any deviation from the established canon, that’s due to the show being an “adaptation” of Tolkien’s work. At no point were viewers promised a literal interpretation of the source text. Therefore I am only interested in legitimate critiques of the show based upon its production, writing and acting. As far as I’m concerned, the first season was broadly entertaining and had outstanding production values. Overall I enjoyed The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power as an exciting and inventive take on Tolkien’s legendarium. Hence, I have been looking forward to the second season, which began today.
Having watched the first two episodes of The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, I wish to express my thoughts on what I’ve seen and my overall impressions so far. I do not think it would be fair to frame this post as a review as the two episodes only constitute 25% of the show’s total content. A formal review of the first season seems more appropriate when I have seen it in its entirety. Before I begin commenting on specific points about the two premier episodes, I wish to point out that I have no problem with “representation” and have expressed my thoughts on this matter in a previous post. It also covers the matter of “adaptation” and how complex texts can at times require augmenting to be made accessible to wider audiences. Hence those viewers who want 100% canonical purity are unrealistic in their expectations. Objections based in racism and sexism can simply be ignored. NB I shall endeavour to keep my thoughts spoiler free.
In February this year, I wrote a blog post about how Middle-earth Enterprises were seeking to auction off the various rights they hold for the works of J.R.R. Tolkien. Today the Embracer Group announced that it was buying these rights as part of an ongoing acquisition strategy. The Swedish video game and media holding company has also purchased Limited Run Games, Tripwire Interactive as well as Middle-earth Enterprises portfolio. They recently acquired premium titles such as Tomb Raider, Deus Ex, and Thief. The Embracer Group currently owns more than 100 studios including Borderlands developer Gearbox, Saber Interactive, and THQ Nordic. Saudi Arabia recently bought a $1 billion stake in Embracer, which is around 8% of the company’s total shares. Embracer’s recent purchasing spree comes months after it acquired Square Enix’s three major Western game studios. In a press release the cost of buying the right to Tolkien’s work is £653,000,000 ($786,000,000).
I was perusing my Twitter timeline last night and a tweet appeared from someone who doesn’t seem to care for the casting of Lenny Henry as a hobbit in the upcoming Amazon Prime TV show The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power. If you’re not familiar with Lenny Henry he’s a British comedian and actor of Jamaican heritage, who was one of first people of colour to establish himself as part of the cultural mainstream in the UK. He’s funny, smart and well respected. However, this particular individual on social media (we will not dignify them with a name check) was not happy about canonical authenticity being subject to the whims of representation. They tried to portray their objections as legitimate criticism based on a good faith argument, but some of the terminology they used clearly showed their true intent was passive aggressive dog whistle racism.
In 1969 J.R.R. Tolkien sold the motion picture, merchandising, stage and other rights to The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings and other literary works to United Artists. UA were riding high at the time with the success of In the Heat of the Night and The Graduate. Allegedly Tolkien made the deal to pay off a tax debt, although this may be apocryphal. He was paid £100,000 which is equivalent to £1,680,000 today. He also retained a 7.5% royalty interest that has now been transferred to the Tolkien Estate. UA toyed with the idea of adapting The Lord of the Rings and many cinematic luminaries were associated with the project. In the early seventies British film director John Boorman was tasked with writing a screenplay. Boorman, an established director with a track record of being experimental, set about developing a script with his long term collaborator, Rospo Pallenberg. However, the project was cancelled due to costs and the studio getting “cold feet”.
Finally the first teaser trailer for Amazon Prime’s forthcoming TV show set in the Second Age of Middle-earth has been released. The Lord Of The Rings: The Rings of Power will be released weekly on Amazon’s streaming service commencing September 2nd 2022. The first season consists of eight episodes. The series is a prequel to the events of The Lord of the Rings, depicting "previously unexplored stories" based on Tolkien's works. The show will include such iconic locations as the Misty Mountains, the elf-capital Lindon, and the island kingdom of Númenor. The Lord Of The Rings: The Rings of Power maintains the visual and design aesthetic of the existing Peter Jackson movies. Furthermore, composer Howard Shaw maintains his involvement as does artists and designer John Howe. Apparently, due to the Tolkien Estate being happy with the development of the show, Amazon had gained access to certain elements and passages from The Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales to include in the narrative arc.
In December it will be the twenty year anniversary of the release of The Fellowship of the Ring. The first entry in Peter Jackson’s trilogy of film adaptations of Professor Tolkien’s iconic novel, The Lord of the Rings. I was utterly swept up in the hype and media frenzy that persisted for three years around these movies between 2001 and 2003. I certainly have fond memories of seeing each film on the first day of its release at the prestigious Leicester Square Odeon in London. Broadly speaking I was very impressed with all three films at the time of their release. However, over the years excitement and fandom has been tempered with a greater degree of critical analysis and appraisal. Having recently watched the Extended Editions of all three films, remastered in 4K, I now think it would be pertinent to revise my thoughts on them and repost them here on Contains Moderate Peril. This initial post is intended more as an overview on the trilogy. I shall write three new in depth reviews in due course.
I have reviewed several audio recordings of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings over the years. My personal favourite is the BBC Radio adaptation from 1981, which has a superb cast of British character actors and does a wonderful job of adapting the text without diminishing the scope of the narrative. This is a dramatisation, rather than a straightforward reading of the book. However, if the latter is what you are looking for then the go to version is 1990 recording by Robert Inglis. He provides unique voices for all characters and even sings the songs included in the source text. And then there is the quirky Mind’s Eye Production from 1979, which is another dramatisation. This is a flawed version with a focus upon the character dialogue with much of the lore removed. Yet it has its charm and includes the often omitted Tom Bombadil. However, quite recently I accidentally stumbled upon a fourth adaptation and was surprised not only by the quality of the production but the curious history associated with it.
In late 2018 it was announced that Amazon Game Studios and Leyou were collaborating on massively multiplayer online game for PC and consoles set in Middle-earth. Ongoing development is being handled by Athlon Games, a global developer and publisher of free-to-play console and PC games. The studio is a subsidiary of Leyou Technologies Holdings Limited. But beyond the fairly vague press releases that can be found on the Athlon Games website (the last was posted in July 2019), little detail has emerged about the project. There has been unsubstantiated rumours that the project may well tie-in with the forthcoming Amazon Prime TV show that is set in the Second Age of Middle Earth. However, there is little information at present in the public domain to fully substantiate this or any of the other ongoing speculation. Hence, the entire situation raises some interesting questions and I’m sure like me, you have probably pondered some of them. Here are just a few that have crossed my mind.
In recent years there has been a shift in position of both Middle-earth Enterprises and the Tolkien Estate. Saul Zaentz died in 2014 leading to a relaxing in licensing requirements and Christopher Tolkien stepped down as the director of his father’s estate in late 2017, further contributing to increased commercial use of Tolkien’s intellectual property. Since then we have learned that Athlon Games are developing a new MMORPG set in Middle-earth and that Amazon Prime is producing a major TV show set in the Second Age. It would appear that the firm grip that has prevailed over the last forty years is now waning and that Middle-earth Enterprises and the Tolkien Estate are more disposed towards expanding the reach and financial potential of the Tolkien franchise.
Ralph Bakshi’s 1978 adaptation of Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings often polarises fan opinion. There is much to admire and there is also much to dislike in this 133-minute animated feature film. However, for many of us, this was our first visual foray into Middle-earth and for good or ill, it had an impact. You’ll certainly see several homages to it in Peter Jackson’s trilogy. And like so many cinematic adaptations of iconic books, The Lord of the Rings journey to the big screen was far from easy. Here are ten anecdotes regarding the film and its production.
The Hobbit (1977) is a curious beast. It’s a made for television animated film, which despite its budgetary constraints, strives to comprehensively adapted one of the most beloved children’s books of the last century. I remember reading an article about this television adaptation of The Hobbit, in Starburst Magazine during the late seventies. There were rumours that this Rankin/Bass production, which had already premièred on US network television, would gain a European cinema release. This was presumably to cash in on the success of Ralph Bakshi's animated feature film adaptation of The Lord of The Rings. However, this never happened to my knowledge. In fact, The Hobbit was not commercially available in the UK until 2001, when Warner Bros. released it on DVD to capitalise on the success of Peter Jackson’s The Fellowship of the Ring.
There are and always will be books that have a clear political agenda or make a very particular statement. Orwell’s 1984 springs to mind as an obvious example. Then there are also books that attract political interpretations by the nature of their plot or the subjects that they explore. Whether the author intended such a debate about the work or not, is a secondary issue. I have always taken Tolkien’s work at face value and to be what he stated they were. Epic and intricate faux histories, free from allegory. Furthermore, I appreciate that the moral position and themes of his work stem from the authors world view, personal experiences as well as the prevailing social dogma of the time. I find it interesting how his work attracts praise and adulation from a wide variety of groups. Catholics will naturally gravitate towards Tolkien’s writings due to his faith and that is the prism through which they will critically view his work. There are of course other examples about how The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings appeals to different people in different ways. It is a common aspect of fandom.
Canon and lore are sacred cows to many fans. Any deviation from the clearly established is met with scepticism and on occasions outrage. It is the hill they are prepared to die, defending. In the past I have felt equally as strong about this matter as others but over the years I have become increasingly relaxed about such things. I guess once you realise that your childhood memories cannot be ruined, despite what some claim, then you cease to worry as much. If you do not like an adaptation, extrapolation or continuation beyond the canon of a particular IP, then you simply say, “it’s not for me” and move on. Not liking an idea or concept because it doesn’t conform your preconceptions and personal tastes does not give you the right to try and quash it. So overall, I don’t mind Tom Cruise being Jack Reacher. A female Doctor Who is fine with me. I even like the movie adaptation of Raise the Titanic.
When Peter Jackson finished filming The Hobbit trilogy, there was some idle speculation by fans as to the possibility of a movie adaptation of The Silmarillion. It was meant mainly as a talking point, rather than a serious proposition and there certainly was an enthusiastic response from some quarters. Three years on, the fantasy genre is still a commercially successful genre both at Cinemas and on TV. Furthermore, production studios are regularly looking to existing literary properties that they can convert into viable long term franchises. Bearing all this in mind, is it possible that Tolkien’s complex mythopoeic work could be adapted for either the big or little screen?
Tolkien's use of song and verse are an integral part of his writings. I am not musically talented myself, nor am I a scholar of song structure but I appreciate how he uses them for plot exposition and character development. In The Lord of the Rings, the medium of song is also used as a means of conveying the enormity of Middle Earth and the wealth of history therein. They give us a sense of the realms lore and heritage, stretching back over millennia. The respective sophistication of each song also reflects the culture that created them. Songs from The Shire are rustic and quaint. The songs of Men are bombastic and bold. Whereas Elven music is often melancholy and complex.
In a fit of nostalgia I recently found myself perusing several retro gaming websites, pondering on some of the titles that I use to play on the Super Nintendo Entertainment. During the early nineties when this platform was my primary source of gaming I use to meticulously research new titles before purchasing. This was the pre-internet age and console cartridges came at a premium price, so you did not want to waste valuable money on a poor game. Magazines featuring previews and in-depth reviews were the main source of information. The other would be your local gaming boutique where you could hang out and discuss such matters with fellow gamers. Broadly this system worked and I enjoyed most of the games I played on the SNES.
In 1981 BBC Radio 4 produced an ambitious adaptation of The Lord of the Rings, presenting Tolkien’s novel in twenty six, thirty minute episodes. As with all adaptations some material had to be removed, but overall the BBC production was not excessively abridged and followed the plot faithfully. The characterisations and dialogue were extremely well realised and music by composer Stephen Oliver was very much in the style and idiom of Tolkien. This was a production of the highest pedigree and a major event for the BBC at the time. The series was heavily promoted, receiving front page status in The Radio Times, the UK’s premier TV guide and bestselling magazine. Although initial reviews were varied, the series immediately gained a cult following with fans trading episodes recorded on cassette tape. Word of mouth and substantial listening figures soon lead to revised opinions from the press, along with the immortal slogan "Radio is Hobbit 4-ming".
n 1969 JRR Tolkien finally sold the film and merchandising rights of The Lord of the Rings to United Artists for approximately £104,000. A year later the studio asked director John Boorman if he could make the books into a viable film. Boorman, an established director with a track record of being experimental, set about developing a screenplay with his long term collaborator, Rospo Pallenberg. What emerged was a one hundred and fifty minute script and possibly the most radical adaptation of Tolkien's work. Some of the ideas and concepts it contained were extremely innovative but others where simply too radical a divergence from the source text. I’ve collated a few of these for your consideration. If you are familiar with Boorman's 1973 film Zardoz, then you will note both similarities and re-occurring themes.
When discussing the various audio dramatizations of J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, people often think of the BBC Radio adaptation by default. However it should be noted that it was not the first. An earlier version was made and broadcast in 1979 on US National Public Radio and was subsequently released as an audiobook. It was produced by The Mind's Eye, a company who were responsible for numerous adaptations of classic literature for radio at the time. The script written by Bernard Mayes is a somewhat abridged version of the book. The eleven hour running time focuses significantly on the dialogue, with much of the back history, lore and expositionary narration removed.
10 Wise Quotes
The last time I wrote a post about quotes I only included one proper example. That was because it was somewhat lengthy. So I filled the remainder of the article with film quotes, which I found amusing because I do like a good pop culture reference. However, it can be argued that they weren’t really in the spirit of the original writing prompt. So this time round I have collated ten proper quotations from various intellectuals, celebrities and bon viveurs. I also made sure that they’re not all from people who are dead. Many of them do come across as somewhat smug and self satisfied. Such is the nature of quotes. I think the main reason we sometimes feel this way is because a really good one hits home with its sage wisdom. So here are a few that I find interesting. I’ve added a brief annotation as to why I particularly like each one.
Gore Vidal
The last time I wrote a post about quotes I only included one proper example. That was because it was somewhat lengthy. So I filled the remainder of the article with film quotes, which I found amusing because I do like a good pop culture reference. However, it can be argued that they weren’t really in the spirit of the original writing prompt. So this time round I have collated ten proper quotations from various intellectuals, celebrities and bon viveurs. I also made sure that they’re not all from people who are dead. Many of them do come across as somewhat smug and self satisfied. Such is the nature of quotes. I think the main reason we sometimes feel this way is because a really good one hits home with its sage wisdom. So here are a few that I find interesting. I’ve added a brief annotation as to why I particularly like each one.
“Reality continues to ruin my life.” Bill Watterson
Ah, the enigma of American cartoonist Bill Watterson. He has an innate gift for wholesome sentimentality.
“The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes.” Gore Vidal
A few names spring to mind.
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” Mae West
Mae West is a treasure trove of witty quotations. I wouldn’t dream of questioning the wisdom of the above quote.
“If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?” Will Rogers
It never ceases to amaze me how stupidity thrives by standing on the shoulders of the wise and humane, who do all of society’s heavy lifting.
Carl Sagan
“We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology.” Carl Sagan
My father lamented how when he was a child, you had a fighting chance of understanding how the things around you worked. A radio, a fridge, a car. Nowadays he said it was virtually impossible with regard to computers, networks and software.
“I don't think any of us grew up into the world we were hoping for or expecting.” Alan Moore
The media, the state and society have always misrepresented the world we live in. We now actively collude in this lie ourselves, via social media.
“Power is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher
I’m not a fan of the UK’s first woman Prime Minister but I appreciate the sentiment in this quote.
Henry Rollins
“It’s sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.” Henry Rollins
This quote is interestingly ambiguous. Does he mean death or when a friendship withers on the vine?
“A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.” Albert Einstein
I bet Rodgers and Hammerstein feel stupid now.
“Love, friendship and respect do not unite people as much as a common hatred for something.” Anton Chekhov
A sad but accurate observation. If you want a specific example I refer you to the UK tabloid press.
Bonus quote:
“Excuse me, sir! Can you direct us to the naval base in Alameda? It's where they keep the nuclear wessels.” Pavel Chekov
I did say I love a pop culture reference.
I felt that this years Blaugust: Festival of Blogging was a success and I personally enjoyed it a great deal. However, I also thought it prudent to seek the opinion of others who took part in the event, as ultimately that is what it’s all about. Hence I posted the Blaugust 2026 Participant Survey at the beginning of September and left it online for 3 weeks. The questions were straightforward and unambiguous. Did you enjoy the festival. Did you participate in the group writing prompts. Did you achieve your writing goals. Then there where questions about what additions, if any, you’d like to see added to Blaugust in the future. All pretty standard stuff for a post event questionnaire. Well the results have been analysed and here is a summary of the results. The intention is to see if there are any specific trends revealed in the feedback and to then discuss any potential course of action as a result. As ever feel free to leave comments below.
It is obligatory to start these sorts of posts by reiterating the standard mantra that you should not be driven by your websites stats and that the data they contain can be unreliable. Although a sound philosophy in principle, it is actually more nuanced than that. Such data can be useful for growth if used wisely. I have never been coy about trying to increase my readership. For me it seems an integral aspect of blogging. Over the course of 2026, the traffic to Contains Moderate Peril has doubled. A lot of that is down to curious spikes in visits which seems to be AI scraping the entire site. Setting aside these anomalies, more people are reading posts and a lot are doing so via the site’s RSS feed. All of which is fine by me as growing the audience for this blog was a goal for this year, I am quite pleased by this development and the ongoing progress. I hope it continues.
There is a subtle difference between being rash and being proactive. Being rash means acting too fast without thinking about the results, while being proactive is a question of acting early with careful planning. Why have I mentioned this? Well prima facie information indicates that recent Blaugust participants are interested in an “official” online presence for the annual festival of blogging, other than that existing Discord server. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Not everyone likes using Discord and I do worry that they may reduce its free functionality at some point in the future. With regard to there being a Blaugust platform of some kind, there is a consensus that it doesn’t need to be some sort of sprawling commercially hosted website running on Wix or such like. Those sorts of site require funding, a degree of admin and possibly private data management. It also a bit too “corporate” if you like. Hence the logical compromise is to have a static site. Let it suffice to say, that has been done.
Judging by the posts I’ve read, it would appear that Blaugust 2026: Festival of Blogging has been well received by those who participated in it. That is most satisfying to know, especially in light of the fact that this is the first year the event has been run without our founder who sadly past away in July. It has also become clear that Blaugust is reaching a far wider and diverse audience and most definitely is no longer the exclusive province of bloggers from one particular community. There has been healthy discussions on our Discord server about whether this year event needs to adapt to accommodate the modern blogosphere. Questions such as whether or not there needs to be a dedicated Blaugust website have been raised and explored. Should every site participating have an RSS feed? How, if required, should comments be handled. Inevitably, the subject of the use of AI in blogging still remains a controversial issue.
After a very productive month of writing, we come to the final Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt. It is titled lessons learned and is usually a chance to reflect on the festival and whether or not it has been to one’s satisfaction. Have you achieved your goals? What have you gained from the experience? Those sorts of things. It also poses two further questions; “What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?” and “what’s the best advice you’ve ever given to someone else?” for your consideration. I’ll address the questions shortly. Firstly let’s mull over this years event and assess how it’s gone.
It was my blogging anniversary on the 16th August. I’ve been writing and sharing my post online for 19 years, via various different websites and blogs. This current iteration of Contains Moderate Peril has been around since August 2015. To date it has 2,171 posts including this one. Quantity does not necessarily equate to quality but there are some articles I am proud of and feel that they make their point effectively.
This week’s Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt is an important topic. Namely, staying motivated. I prepared a fairly lengthy post with some advice and ideas to keep people focused and writing. Then I checked it against the post I wrote last year and the year before that, going back to blogging events from 2012. All of these posts broadly said the same thing, so I decided to scrap what I had composed for today and to go with a simpler approach. I shall answer the questions Krikket posed for this writing prompt. Fellow blogger Bhagpuss has also done so and as ever, his thoughts are interesting and well expressed. Here are my answers.
Once again, I have stumbled across an interesting debate that has provided me with an opportunity to write a blog post. Over on the Blaugust Discord Server, I read a comment from AgingGamer regarding RSS feeds and their significance with regard to blogging. This in turn referred me to a post by fyr (don’t you love all these nom de plumes) who wrote at depth about the ongoing community debate about the use of RSS/Atom feeds. The article explored the importance of such feeds with regard to reaching readers and providing accessibility to the disabled. All of which provided me with a great deal of food for thought. Mainly because I use a mainstream website service provider for my online endeavours, so RSS is by default built. I’ve never really considered not having such a facility at my disposal. But the rise in the IndieWeb scene challenges this assumption.
I have written two blog posts today that I have subsequently abandoned. The first was gaming related but when I was about halfway through writing it, I felt like I was covering old ground and just repeating myself. It was also regarding an issue that can’t really be fixed. Namely, how do you ensure that matchmaking in PVP games is done equitably. As there is no solution to this issue at present, or at least not one that all parties can agree on, I decided to ditch it. Similarly a post I was working on about what becomes of my blog if anything happens to me was curtailed. In light of recent events in our community it seemed inappropriate. However, as a result of binning two blog posts, I new idea occurred to me. Do my fellow bloggers self-edit and curtail what they write about? Is your blog totally unfiltered or do you apply a set of rules that determine what content is deemed acceptable?
It is time for the next Blaugust 2026 Group Project writing prompt. This one comes with two lines of enquiry. The first is an opportunity to “introduce yourself”. Over the years, I have written several introductory posts for previous Blaugust events. Rather than repeat myself I’ll just link to the last one, which was posted in August 2023. I haven’t radically charged since then apart from my hair going whiter. The next part of the prompt poses a far more intriguing question. “If you could have one magical power or super power, what would you choose and what would you use it for?”, which offers much for consideration. Having given this proposition much thought here is my response.
A decade ago I wrote a post about blogrolls and the practical and social issues surrounding them. At the time, the version of Squarespace I was using didn’t easily support such things or at least wasn’t able to do so in a manner I liked, so I didn’t have one. Ten years later Squarespace as a hosting platform has far greater functionality, hence I recently decided to add a blogroll. That was in March this year. However it just wasn’t really fit for purpose. So I decided to revise it a few days ago and rather than just have a traditional list of blogs in a side column, I ended up producing a more comprehensive blog directory, which list two hundred plus sites alpha-numerically. I’ve been tinkering with it on and off and I am now finally happy with it. The latest update reflects the international nature of the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging and the fact that we have many blogs written in their native language. Translating text is now an integral function of web browsers, so I see no reason why these blogs should be excluded.
Today’s post is part of the Blaugust 2026 Group project, which features a series of writing prompts set for specific dates throughout the month. The idea being that everyone who wishes to participate can write about the same subject, riff off each other’s posts and enjoy a shared experience. In many respect having a common writing prompt levels the playing field and provides a sense of common purpose among those who take part. Today’s group project prompt asks the question “tell us all about your very first blog”. An unambiguous and interesting question that will hopefully prove enjoyable to write about and informative to others.
I have been writing online for nearly two decades. I don’t claim to be good or accomplished but what I can say with certainty is that the more often you write, the easier it becomes. For those who are new to writing a blog and the Blaugust Festival of Blogging, possibly the biggest hurdle that you now have to get over, is writing your first post of the month. You spent the lead up to this event sorting out your blog templates, fine tuning the backend and possibly banking some ideas. Or you may have decided to just wing it and make it all up as you go along. Both are perfectly valid approaches. However, there is one thing left to do that cannot be put off, avoided or danced around. Writing. At some point you’ve got to do it. Or bail on the event. The proverbial “shit or get off the pot”.
If you take a cursory look at a calendar you will see that the month of July is fast coming to an end. That means that Blaugust 2026 Festival of Blogging starts in a few days time! If you’re participating, or thinking of doing so, the next few days present a golden opportunity to do some practical organising and basic preparation. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Feel free to just do things as they come, so to speak, if that’s your approach. However, for most of us, it helps if we have some kind of plan in place and make some arrangements in advance. I personally prefer this approach and like to have some ideas for blog posts in the bank. It is also useful to have “options” if something doesn’t go to plan. For those who are new to Blaugust, here are a few ideas regarding preparation that may be of use to you. As ever, your personal mileage may vary and ultimately you are best off adopting a strategy that suits your writing style and personal schedule.
Prior to last year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging, I upgraded Contains Moderate Peril to the latest version of Squarespace. There are still some aspects of the site that need fine tuning but overall, I am happy with the appearance of my blog and its respective functionality. With this year’s writing event fast approach, I decided to tackle over the last few days, some of those finer points that need tweaking. I have wanted a post counter on the site for a long time but unfortunately there is no native Squarespace widget for this basic function. I also felt the need to upgrade the blogroll, as the current one didn’t support RSS feeds from certain sites (e.g. Google Blogger) and was dependent upon a third party service, Elfsight, which wasn’t ideal. Both of these issues have now been addressed and I am pleased with the results. There is now a post counter on the Blog Archive page, which seems a logical place to have it and the Blogroll is now far more comprehensive.
Next month the annual Blaugust: Festival of Blogging begins. Roundabout this time each year, I try to write a promotional post to raise awareness of the event and encourage potential participants. However, as I’ve done this quite a few times before, each year it is becomes increasingly difficult to present the essential facts about Blaugust: Festival of Blogging in an interesting fashion. There’s nothing worse than writing a post and feeling that you’re just covering old ground. So, this year, I thought I’d try something different and present the most important information about this annual event, as if it were a conversation between myself and an interested passer by. Feel free to attribute novelty voices for each party in your own head, while you read this. If it helps, try imagining that this discussion is happening between two celebrities or such like. Both may be wearing exotic hats but I digress. On with the scenario.
I read a blog post by Void recently, about finding a new internet home. He wrote about how he and many others have had to pick up their “digital roots” and migrate multiple times over the years, from one platform to another. It is a position I can sympathise with as I have done likewise. Hence I like the idea of having a place online where I hangout by default. My own blog is an anchor for me but it is not quite the same thing as a platform or online portal where I can find all my friends and colleagues, share content and shoot the breeze. It’s a curious thing, because as I typed that last sentence it struck how such a sentiment may seem alien to others. There may well be people who like to have a finger in multiple pies and who are happy to frequent and flit between various social media apps, Discord servers and subreddits. I prefer to focus my efforts on a single instance. A place that suits my requirements, allows me to put down roots and become part of the furniture. Like a virtual Diogenes Club.
Everyday, once I’m up, I sit at my desk in my office, fire up my PC and log into Feedly. I have various RSS feeds grouped by category, which I slowly trawl through and read anything that catches my eye. I have one curated feed named “Blaugust” named after the yearly festival of blogging event. It has over 250 blogs listed, many of which are former participants. Most of these regularly post. Hence there’s a lot to get through and so I don’t read all of them. However there are a few that I always checkout. Mainly because they’re the personal musings of some of our writing community’s oldest and most prodigious members. The sorts of guys and gals who are part of the furniture. They’ve always been there and it feels like they always will. Posting their thoughts, sharing their enthusiasm and spreading the love, so to speak. One of these blogs, is Tales of the Aggronaut. written by Belghast.
On Friday 26th June, I had another random spike in internet traffic to Contains Moderate Peril. The statistical package that comes with my Squarespace account recorded over 13k visits in less than 24 hours, which is not typical (although I wish it was). However, all of these visits to my blog arrived via the default homepage and spent between 1 and 2 minutes there. Hence, it was obvious that this was not human traffic, as there was no evidence of any searches being made of content that is available on my site, nor of the “visitors” clicking on any of the links on the top menu and viewing other posts. This was undoubtedly AI traffic arriving at the designated homepage and simply parsing the site. I had a similar spate of this sort of web traffic last November. The only difference on that occasion is that the traffic all came from China. This time round it hailed from the US. I suspect that this is something that will happen more often as companies set their AI loose on the net for what is effectively training.
I recently watched a video on Patreon by someone who I actively support as a “content creator” and whose work I enjoy. I shall provide no more detail regarding their identity because they may not want their work referenced with regard to what I am going to say. During the course of their video they briefly referenced the work put into promoting a podcast they are currently producing and the relatively low audience that it has garnered so far. The comments were an aside and most certainly not said with any sense of self-pity. They were simply a statement of fact. Furthermore, I suspect they are far from unique and similar sentiments have been expressed in one way or another by anyone who has created something the published it online, only for it to be lost among the greater white noise” of the wider internet.
When I first started blogging way back in 2007, I maintained a blogroll of all my colleagues and peers’ websites. At the time this was a common practice and a way to support an expanding community. I considered this such an important aspect of the blogging scene at the time, I created a website to aggregate posts from video game blogs, called The Gaming Blog Nexus. It ran for two years and proved quite useful. However, it was tricky to administer and would frequently break as a lot of the back end widgets and plugins were created and maintained by “gifted amateurs”. I eventually shut it down due to the operating costs. When I moved my own website, Contains Moderate Peril, to Squarespace in 2015 I intended to start maintaining a blogroll once again. However, at that time there was no native support for such a thing on the platform. Hence for the last ten years, I have not had a blogroll on my website, which hasn’t sat well with me.
I was speaking to someone recently about hobbies (fortunately it wasn’t Simon Quinlank) and I mentioned that I have maintained a blog for over a 19 years. When I talked about the ongoing cost they were most surprised, as they had assumed that blogging was something that could be done for free. I guess we’ve become so accustomed to the provision of free online services such as email, that this a reasonable assumption. I pointed out that although it is indeed possible to blog for free using Blogger, it was not the optimal approach, especially if you want to maintain some degree of control over your writing. Naturally, the next question they asked was how much do I spend and I gave them a ballpark figure. All of which reminded me that I wrote a post on this very subject a few years ago. So I’ve decided to revisit the subject and see how much it currently costs to maintain Contains Moderate Peril.
Today I started the slow process of auditing every post that has been published on Contains Moderate Peril since 1st August 2016. The goal is to correct any obvious typos and replace all existing images with larger ones. The Squarespace software upgrade I applied to the website at the end of last year has finally allowed me to establish a standard format that I am happy with. Hence the ongoing audit is the perfect opportunity to apply these style rules to all posts. There are also some technical issues and matters regarding functionality that need to be addressed. I need to determine how to embed YouTube videos in such a way that they automatically scale to fit whatever device is viewing them. Another area which needs improving is the website search facility. This needs refinement so that enquiries can be more specific. Older posts also need to be more accessible, although I am still researching how best to achieve this.
It’s nearly two and half months since the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event ended. During that time I’ve maintained a fairly regular writing schedule and I post every two days or so. Furthermore, I finally dragged my blog template, kicking and screaming, into the modern era. I tweaked a few pages and updated the content of the “about” page. The next task is to start going through all previous posts and replacing older, low resolution images with larger, more appropriate ones. This process also presents an opportunity to ensure that all posts follow a uniform style. IE Are appropriately categorised, have links to related posts at the bottom and are SEO optimised. This will be a lengthy task so I think the best approach will be to tackle two or three posts a day. Hopefully this will raise the profile of older content, which generates the lion’s hare of traffic to this site.
I use a browser extension called Control Panel for YouTube, which allows me to determine who many videos are displayed on my YouTube homepage and to filter the content that is shown. At present it is configured to display rows of six. Something that I have noticed of late, is the amount of videos with hyperbolic titles and thumbnail images created by AI. Both of which are design choices made to increase engagement. Clickbait titles are contrived to meet current SEO optimisation criteria and as such feature more and more in search results. The fact that they frequently have no relation to the subject I am researching, seems to be neither here nor there. The same issues arise with regard to AI generated images, which again frequently have no bearing on the matter. The fact that more and more content creators do this, infers that it works and is now an essential part of the process you must follow to be seen and featured in search results.
In the last post in this series, I specified the need for a plan with regard to upgrading my blog. Well a plan has emerged, been refined and has now been formally adopted. Rather than migrate Contains Moderate Peril to a new platform and effectively have to rebuild all the content, I am going to upgrade my existing presence on Squarespace. This decision was made for two reasons. Time and money. Migrating to a new platform will take a lot of time and incur additional costs. Upgrading the existing website will take less time and has no cost implications. That is not to say that it will be easy. It has become abundantly clear that the upgrade process will break stuff and that all published posts will have to be manually repaired. Hence my choice boils down to the lesser of two evils.
This year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging has reached an end and it would appear that this event has been well received by those who have participated in it. I believe that there were 168 bloggers taking part this year, many of whom have not participated before. Some were new to blogging, where others simply wished to see if they could increase their writing output. As ever there was a wide variety of blog styles and subject matters and it has been most interesting to read new posts every day. I have attempted to leave comments and positive feedback where I can and I hope that some of these new blogs that I’ve discovered continue to write. Well done to everyone who took part. I hope it has been an enjoyable and informative process and that you have learned from it. I know that at least one blogger has determined that writing online is not for them, which is a valuable lesson.
There is currently a group writing prompt available as part of this year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging which has piqued my interest. It asks the question “what is the oldest draft post you have” and suggests that it is revived in some manner. I have dozens of draft posts in a folder in my Google Drive. Many are film reviews or film related. The oldest of which dates back to summer 2010. Rather than write a straight forward review of Blake Edwards 1968 comedy The Party, I rather foolishly thought at the time that I’d tackle the issue of whether the film is sufficiently racist to make it beyond the pale. Let it suffice to say that I quickly found myself bogged down in the complexities of the subject and thus never completed the blog post.
I’ve participated in every previous Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event. Prior to that I was involved in the Newbie Blogger Initiative or NBI as it was affectionately known. I have therefore written quite a lot of blogging advice and suggestions over the years. If anyone feels disposed to do so, you can access them all by clicking on the “blogging” option on the top menu of this blog. However, it is important to remember that a lot of the ideas I have advocated and written about over the years are purely subjective. Not all advice or guidance works for everyone. People have different ideas about blogging, different approaches to it and different aspirations. This year has highlighted some quite distinct differences among bloggers which has been most illuminating.
Today is my blogging anniversary. I have been writing online consistently for 18 years. My earliest blogs no longer exist, although they can be found via the Internet Archive Wayback Machine. My first blog was a Lord of the Rings Online fansite called Misadventures in LOTRO. After a while this morphed into a wider gaming website; Misadventures in Gaming. However, I soon discovered that I wanted to write about more than just video games, so I decided to start from scratch and created Contains Moderate Peril in February 2010. This blog endured and has been my main online presence ever since. It has moved several times for various reasons. For a while I had a sponsor, as well as a reasonably sized audience and had dreams of making money from my writing and podcast. But it wasn’t to be and now I just write primarily for my own peace of mind and amusement.
This year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging has already raised a very interesting debate. An old one that habitually comes up when discussing blogs. Namely, whether a blog should or should not have “comments” enabled. However this time round there is a different slant on things. Rather than the usual binary choice of having comments enabled or disabled on your site, this time round there is a third option available. Leaving comments via email or a third party service such as Mastodon. Both of these additional options keep comments conspicuously at arms length from your website. Furthermore, the email option makes the comments private, instead of in the public domain. All of which puts a subtly different spin on conventional notions of blog comments and makes this ongoing discussion all the more interesting.
ChatGenie Questionnaire
I spent some time today, looking for a new internet questionnaire as they make for fun and quirky blog posts (by which I mean lazy and easy ones). Sadly, most of the search results that Google found were ones I’ve done already. So I thought why not ask the online AI, ChatGenie, to provide the questions? Surely it can’t be that difficult to come up with some interesting talking points? Well it turns out it is, because the 10 questions that the AI has provided are not especially inspired. However, I did find it amusing how ChatGenie justified itself, explaining where the mirth and hilarity lie in each of its questions. Therefore, here are my answers to what I am officially calling the ChatGenie Questionnaire. Feel free to complete it yourself.
I spent some time today, looking for a new internet questionnaire as they make for fun and quirky blog posts (by which I mean lazy and easy ones). Sadly, most of the search results that Google found were ones I’ve done already. So I thought why not ask the online AI, ChatGenie, to provide the questions? Surely it can’t be that difficult to come up with some interesting talking points? Well it turns out it is, because the 10 questions that the AI has provided are not especially inspired. However, I did find it amusing how ChatGenie justified itself, explaining where the mirth and hilarity lie in each of its questions. Therefore, here are my answers to what I am officially calling the ChatGenie Questionnaire. Feel free to complete it yourself.
Q: Do you cry easily? (This question encourages introspection as to how emotional you may be)
A: No. I was raised during the seventies in the UK and the prevailing culture was to not cry unnecessarily. The cliche of maintaining a stiff, upper lip was still commonplace. Age has brought a degree of wisdom and I have now tempered this emotional foible. When both my parents died, at the time I kept a stoical demeanour, mainly because I was the one dealing with everything and I needed to be “functional”. When everything was done, I allowed myself to grieve and cry accordingly. Oddly enough, I find that films have the power to stir my emotions the most. I remember when I saw Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan for the first time. When Spock died I wept openly like I’d lost a brother.
Q: What's the most embarrassing song you secretly love to sing along to? (A lighthearted question that can spark hilarious answers.)
A: All Kinds of Everything by Dana, although I prefer the cover version by Slim Whitman from 1978. I can never remember the specific things named in the song, so I improvise. Fruit Bats, Orangutans, the Sudanese etc.
Q: If your life was a movie, who would play you and what genre would it be? (Get them thinking about their personality and how they see themselves.)
A: Peter Cushing and it would definitely be a horror film.
Q: What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten and would you recommend it? (A fun and unexpected question that's sure to generate unique answers.)
A: Snails and squid. Snails are just like any other shellfish and their culinary merit depends upon the sauce they’re cooked and served in. As for squid, I don’t mind calamari (battered and fried squid rings) but find that the whole baby squids are too rubbery for my tastes. Overall, I’m not someone who will eat something just because it is considered weird. However, if a weird dish can be proven to be potentially tasty, I will theoretically consider eating it.
Q: You're stranded on a deserted island with only three items. What are they and why? (A classic question with a twist, encouraging them to think about their priorities.)
A: A supply of antibiotics for obvious reasons. I wouldn’t want to die as a result of a simple cut or insect bite. A firearm to take care of any potential dangers and a wind up radio. I could listen to the shipping forecast.
Q: If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be and what would you ask them? (This question invites them to think about their interests and curiosity.)
A: I think a meal with Sir Archibald McIndoe would be rather interesting. He was a pioneering plastic surgeon from New Zealand who moved to the UK in 1930. During World War II he developed numerous pioneering techniques while treating badly burned Royal Air Force aircrew. His patients at the Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead, Sussex, formed the Guinea Pig Club. This was a social club and mutual support network.
Q: What’s the best way to waste time? (A funny question that allows people to embrace their quirks.)
A: The best way to waste time is to do so in a guilt free fashion. I know too many people who are uncomfortable with their own personal leisure time and often feel guilty if they’re not doing something “productive”. Fortunately, I’m not one of them and I learned from my father that if you ever get a chance to take it easy in between all the hustle and bustle, then grab it with both hands.
Q: If you could invent a new holiday, what would it be and how would it be celebrated? (This encourages creativity and allows them to express their ideal world.)
A: I’d like to establish an international “If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all” day. It could alternatively be known as “Shut the fuck up” day. Its philosophy and merits are self-evident. Those who break the credo have “twat” written on their forehead for the rest of the week as penance.
Q: What's the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you believe in? (A playful question that can lead to some entertaining answers.)
A: I don’t believe in conspiracy theories or care for the associated culture. Occam’s razor is often a sufficient tool to invalidate most of them. Plus, most major conspiracies are predicated on secret plots. If there is one defining characteristic of humans, it is that most cannot keep their mouth shut. It’s an obvious contradiction.
Q: What's your favourite word and why? (A simple yet insightful question that reveals their personal preferences and vocabulary.)
A: According to an analysis of my blog posts, I use the word “nebulous” a lot. I do like it as it beautifully encapsulates anything vague, indistinct or ill defined. The thing is, I like lots of words. Why settle for just one?
The 25 Questions Food Tag is a popular, light-hearted Q&A widely used by lifestyle and food bloggers. I discovered it while perusing the internet for a new questionnaire, as I’ve done a great deal of substantive writing of late and I wanted to tackle something a lot less involved. As ever, having read through the questions on offer, there is plenty of scope for some interesting answers and a modicum of levity. Food per se, is also a good subject to write about as eating is something we all do. This questionnaire has also made me consider whether writing about food is something I should do more often. Would there be an audience for sharing recipes, for example? I would say that’s “food for thought” but I won’t because puns are annoying. However, I digress. Here for your edifications and my blogging convenience, are my answers to “The 25 Questions Food Tag “.
This movie questionnaire was originally created by Alexander from Cinemaniac Reviews. Sadly, I believe that website is now defunct. However, that doesn’t in anyway invalidate the questionnaire itself which has some very good questions about your relationship with cinema. Some of my answers to the questions posed are about films that I enjoy, as opposed to those that are considered cinematic classics. However, I have answered some questions more seriously than others, especially the one about undeserving recipients of the Best Film Oscar. I struggled with a couple of questions because I no longer go the cinema as frequently as I did 10 years ago. This is mainly due to the fact that a lot of the films I find interesting end up going straight to streaming after very brief theatrical releases. Some do not even get shown in cinemas. Hence I view far more at home. But I digress. On with the questions and answers. Feel free to comment below and share your views.
Usually, during the Blaugust Festival of Blogging event, I like to tackle an internet questionnaire. I do these because they’re fun and they’re a break from standard blog posts. The only problem is that I’ve completed a lot of the more popular ones over the years. You’ll find my previous answers for these below, in the “Related Posts” section. I was certain there still had to be some questionnaires available that I haven’t completed and after searching online, I discovered the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire. It is a set of ten quick questions which French TV host Bernard Pivot would asked his guests at the end of his cultural show Bouillon de culture. He based his list of questions on the older Proust Questionnaire, which itself is derived from Victorian parlour games. Later, TV host James Lipton made a version of the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire famous, on Inside the Actors Studio. So with out further ado, here are my answers to the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire.
The Guardian news website have a recurring feature in their “culture” section called Honest Playlist where they ask various celebrities about their music listening habits. There are a dozen or so stock questions that they use to grill their guest, although they don’t always use the same ones. I think it makes for interesting reading so its a column that I often visit. As I haven’t published a post based upon an internet questionnaire for a while, I thought I poach this particular line of questioning and have a crack at it myself. I have chosen the ten questions that I think are the best and by that I mean, they have the most scope for interesting answers. I didn’t include the one about karaoke because it’s not something I especially like. Each to their own. Feel free to similarly purloin this set of questions and write your own responses. I’m always fascinated by these sort of things.
This post is inspired by Axxuy, who recently replied to an open post by Forking Mad. It’s a simple set of questions and a convenient writing prompt for those occasional slow days. Now some folk can get quite “sniffy” about these sorts of posts. Perhaps they think they’re too insubstantial or too easy or something. Irrespective of whether such assertions are true or not, I would like to point out that one of the most popular posts on Contains Moderate Peril is a similar sort of internet questionnaire, titled “Would You Rather - The Gaming Edition”. Originally posted in late August 2021, it has been read over 18,000 times. Now I’m not advocating shameless “ambulances chasing” and “jumping on bandwagons” but I am reminded of the old adage, “if the shit fits, wear it”. Hence, you’ll find no prejudice against internet questionnaires on this blog. Here are ten pointless facts about me.
If you’re familiar with this blog then you know that I like an internet questionnaire. A little bit of introspection can be quite a useful thing. This particular questionnaire, the “Blog Questions Challenge”, was originally created for users of Bear Blog. However, the questions have subsequently been adapted to make them applicable to other blogging platforms and therefore accessible to a wider audience. I recently discovered this particular questionnaire over at Alvan’s Digital Garden and thought the selection of questions to be interesting. Hence I have decided to tackle them. If you’re a blogger yourself, feel free to follow suit and use this set of questions, as I think that it’s always interesting to know what inspires people to write and what path brought them online.
I spent some time today, looking for a new internet questionnaire as they make for fun and quirky blog posts (by which I mean lazy and easy ones). Sadly, most of the search results that Google found were ones I’ve done already. So I thought why not ask the online AI, ChatGenie, to provide the questions? Surely it can’t be that difficult to come up with some interesting talking points? Well it turns out it is, because the 10 questions that the AI has provided are not especially inspired. However, I did find it amusing how ChatGenie justified itself, explaining where the mirth and hilarity lie in each of its questions. Therefore, here are my answers to what I am officially calling the ChatGenie Questionnaire. Feel free to complete it yourself.
Using his prodigious experience as a chat show host, Stephen Colbert (of the eponymous The Late Show with Stephen Colbert fame) has crafted 15 hard-hitting, probing and perceptive questions, as a means to dissect and analyse his celebrity guests. These include such insightful inquiries as “What is the scariest animal?”, “What do you think happens when we die?” and “Apples or oranges?”. So far these questions have been successfully used by Mr Colbert to interrogate the likes of Keanu Reeves, Jeff Goldblum and Sandra Bullock. Hilarity naturally ensued, or at least by the standard of US network television. I’m not really a fan of the “celebrity talk show” because it doesn’t really exist as such anymore. What we now have instead is the “celebrity with something to sell show” but that gripe is best addressed in a separate blog post.
Great, it’s internet question time once again. Regular readers will already know that I really like these sorts of things. Unlike Sparks, I do have the time to answer questionnaires. Despite the fact that such articles are often considered lightweight writing, I do believe that even the most vacuous line of enquiry can yield an interesting post. This time round I have a diverse set of questions from two very different sources. The first five are courtesy of ChatGPT, which seems just as capable of asking sublimely asinine questions as real people. The next five come from Cosmopolitan. A publication and website that you wouldn’t immediately associate with me. However, out of the various questions available on both sites, I have chosen ten that I think have scope for reasoned debate and interesting answers. Thanks very much to UltrViolet and Hamatti for providing the aforementioned lines of enquiry.
I’m not sure where it came from but I have a page of allegedly philosophical questions bookmarked in Google Chrome. As it’s filed under “blogging” I suspect that these may have been saved as an emergency source of inspiration if I were in need of a writing prompt. Well I’m not exactly brimming with ideas today, so I’ve decided to avail myself of this list. I selected 10 questions randomly and shall now proceed to answer them. I am not claiming that my answers are as philosophical as the questions. I shall no doubt be flippant, sarcastic and possibly a little scathing, but I’ll endeavour to answer the questions properly (if they merit it). As I’ve said before about previous internet questionnaires that I’ve completed, sometimes what at first glance looks like lightweight material can inadvertently lead to some interesting discussions.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m a sucker for an internet questionnaire. Yes, I know such things are considered in some quarters as somewhat lightweight content. But not every blog post needs to be an insightful analysis of crop rotation in the 14th century or a searing indictment of the latest internet outrage. Sometimes answering a few simple questions in a light hearted fashion can be quite illuminating. Plus readers like to get to know something about the bloggers that they follow and internet questionnaires are a means to that. So without further ado, here is a set of questions known as “The Blogger Tag”. I first encountered this over at A Geek Girl's Guide care of Michelle. Do go and check out her take on these. Also feel free to use them yourself, as that is the idea behind answering them.
Ah, there’s nothing like an internet questionnaire to help you out when you’re scratching your head, desperately trying to think of something to write about. I don’t consider Blaugust to be complete unless there’s at least one of these “question and answer” style blog posts doing the rounds. This one is courtesy of Krikket over at Nerd Girl Thoughts. Do go and have a look at their unique take on the various questions. Naithin has also tackled this line of enquiry and you can find his answers at Time to Loot. As ever I tend to deviate from the somewhat binary nature of the questions but that’s the whole point, isn’t it? To open up the scope of the discussion and potentially encourage others to join in. This is why I like these sorts of internet questionnaires and think they contribute much to Blaugust.
Oh look, another internet questionnaire blog post. By now you must be aware of my weakness for these sorts of things (if not then take a look at the links to related posts at the bottom of this article). It would appear that the “never have I ever” format has been adapted and we now have a “have you ever” set of questions specifically aimed at gamers. As usual some of the questions are trivial but others offer scope for quite interesting responses. Etiquette dictates that I credit those who have already participated and answered these questions. They are as follows. Michelle over at A Geek Girl’s Guide. Pix1001 from Shoot The Rookie. Joseph Skyrim’s post can be found at JVT Workshop and pkudude99 share their thoughts at Nomadic Gamers. Do check out their take on the questions as there are some interesting replies. On to the questions and answers.
“The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion”. Okoto Enigma
The Rules:
Ensure the award logo is used in your post.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Mention the original creator of the award and provide a link to their site.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice.
Share a link to your best post(s).
“The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion”. Okoto Enigma
The Rules:
Ensure the award logo is used in your post.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Mention the original creator of the award and provide a link to their site.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice.
Share a link to your best post(s).
As some of you may know, I have a weakness for internet questionnaires. Yes, they can be looked upon as self indulgent filler that you post on a day when you’re strapped for inspiration, if you want to be snippy about them. But I find them quite insightful as I like to know about the people whose blogs I read. Sometimes it’s just as much about the person as it is about the blog post. “You are your own brand” and all that. But I digress. I saw this particular questionnaire over at Ace Asunder. Solarayo borrowed it from Quietschisto of RNG, who in turn purloined it from Chrisse of Vamp It Up Manchester who created the questions. There’s a broad spectrum of enquiries and scope for some informative and entertaining answers. So let us begin.
I got tagged by fellow blogger, Magimos, as part of the Real Neat Blogger Awards. Now I’m not entirely sure what that is. It’s one of those things where you get asked a bunch of questions, then get to set some yourself and then tag other people to answer them. I certainly don’t mind answering questions. I’ve already written in previous posts how I’m a sucker for internet surveys. But I’m not keen on tagging people. It’s a little invasive for my liking and I’m a stickler for etiquette. By all means ask people if they’d like to participate but never inflict things on people without consent. To me it’s the same as random people cold calling and trying to sell you stuff. Or religious types, knocking on your front door and asking if you’d like to join a Cthulhu cult. So I’ll just write my responses to Magimos questions and then write a few questions of my own, which I’ll leave for other to reflect upon and answer if they see fit.
Naithin over at Time to Loot has compiled a Blaugust related internet questionnaire. As I’ve made clear in the past, I have a weakness for these sorts of things and will happily indulge the most peculiar enquiries. I’m not really sure why I like to do questionnaires. Perhaps I feel at some level that even the crassest or vacuous of questions can yield a good or at least entertaining answer. Not that I’m saying that Naithin’s questions are any of those things. In fact I think they are quite engaging. The other thing about questionnaires is that I can make a really obscure and impenetrable pop culture reference about the band Sparks. So here are my responses to the all of them in full. An unedited stream of consciousness or load of bollocks, depending upon your perspective. I hope some of the other Blaugust participants also take part. It will be interesting to compare notes, so to speak.
At the beginning of November, I started to answer the various questions set out in The Proust Questionnaire, mainly because at some level I do like the occasional insight that “internet questions” can provide. Although most of my answers are frequently tinged with a degree of levity and at times even scorn, every now and then the right question can provoke a sincere response. So here are my measured replies to the remaining interrogative enquiries, for your consideration and edification. If you do not agree with them or find yourself at odds with my mindset, please address any complaints care of the late Marcel Proust (10th July 1871 - 18th November 1922).
The Proust Questionnaire was popularized by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering the questions, an individual provides an insight into his or her true nature. Whether that is true is debatable, but I do find the internets fondness for Q&A sessions, curiously fascinating. And as this very questionnaire has been recently resurrected by Vanity Fair magazine and has also been utilised on the Ricky Gervais is Deadly Sirius podcast, I though I’d jump on the same bandwagon, as I’m behind in my writing and this is an easy post. As there are thirty-five questions, I thought I’d tackle them over two days. So, without further ado, here are my considered and measured thought on the first seventeen.
Despite having written a blog posts claiming that there’s always something to write about, even I have days when I’m lacking inspiration. Or more to the point lacking in motivation to write. And today is a prime example. I’d much rather be doing something else, but I made a promise to myself to keep the blog content flowing. However, I discovered a selection of questions that have been doing the rounds, via Marathal over at Deez Words and decided to answer them. I’m sure you know the form. They’re a selection of “touchy-feely”, non-threatening questions designed to give the reader a simple thumbnail sketch of your “personality”. So, I thought to myself, “there’s today’s blog post”. I will try my best to answer sensibly and give as relevant answers as I can, but you know me.
Many of my fellow bloggers regularly posts details of what they’ve been reading of late. I must admit that although I received several books and graphic novels as Christmas presents, I’ve yet to start any of them. The bulk of my reading is done via my PC or Tablet and usually tends to be news articles, blog posts and research for my writing. The last book that I physically read was Titus Crow, Volume 3: In the Moons of Borea & Elysia by Brian Lumley and that was last November. So, I’ve decided to get back into reading in the traditional sense and as ever have allotted time in my schedule and set myself goals. As a carer I have numerous appointments to attend throughout the week with my parents. Rather than waste time on my phone perusing twitter and gawping at the internet, I shall use these periods to read.
Thinking Out Loud
If you want to buy a grapefruit spoon with an inlaid mother of pearl handle or 25Kg of exotic aquarium gravel, then a simple Google search (other search engines are available) will yield a multitude of results. However, the search engine does not fare so well with finding online communities. Many years ago I joined The LAMB (Large Association of Movie Blogs), which at the time claimed to be the world's largest movie blog directory/community. It was a useful website. From what I can see, this site is now partially dormant. New reviews are being posted but the directory service of other movie related websites seems unavailable. Hence I am looking for a comparable online community where I can share my film reviews and read other peoples. Trying to find one is proving quite difficult.
Once again, I have collated a series of random thoughts on “stuff and things”, as the expression goes. All of which is published under the title “Thinking Out Loud”, which is a recurring blog post.
Finding Online Communities
If you want to buy a grapefruit spoon with an inlaid mother of pearl handle or 25Kg of exotic aquarium gravel, then a simple Google search (other search engines are available) will yield a multitude of results. However, the search engine does not fare so well with finding online communities. Many years ago I joined The LAMB (Large Association of Movie Blogs), which at the time claimed to be the world's largest movie blog directory/community. It was a useful website. From what I can see, this site is now partially dormant. New reviews are being posted but the directory service of other movie related websites seems unavailable. Hence I am looking for a comparable online community where I can share my film reviews and read other peoples. Trying to find one is proving quite difficult.
I find that a lot of online communities have migrated to Discord for obvious reasons. Subreddits are also still an important focal point for shared interests. However, Discords by their nature do not lend themselves to creating easily navigable and searchable archives. They are more about informal discussions. Subreddits have their respective gatekeepers who often prefer to keep user debate confined within their own managed environment. Third party links and external sources are not always welcome. Hence I prefer conventional websites that collate and aggregate content. The only problem with this is that it’s becoming increasingly rare due to the associated work and cost. In the meantime, I shall continue searching as I’m sure a suitable community is out there.
Gaming Homework and Fear of Getting Things Wrong
Something that came up while I was struggling to familiarise myself with Dragon’s Dogma 2. A matter that is now a major aspect of gaming culture. Specifically, the requirement to have to research gameplay mechanics, classes and builds prior to actually playing a game. YouTube is the dominant medium for this requirement. I found myself watching various videos with titles such as “10 mistakes you don’t want to make” and “the best classes and vocations” before I even created a character in Dragon’s Dogma 2. Do you remember a time when games had tutorials that explained their own mechanics. You may be old enough to recall when media shipped with a physical manual. Such days have long gone.
However, not only is it expected these days that you have to do research via third parties to be able to work out how to play a game, there is now a considerable “risk” if you don’t. If you just pick a class and gear based purely upon “that looks cool”, then you will damn yourself to the seventh circle of gaming hell and have a chronic case of buyer’s remorse. How the hell did we get to this place? A place where there isn’t scope to just have fun partially on your own terms. If certain builds and combinations of in-game gear lead to poor experience, why put them in the game? Everything seems so formalised these days with regard to gaming. Hence we get prevailing metas and if you choose to ignore them you’re effectively gimping yourself. This “process driven” ideology seems to be bleeding through into everything nowadays. It ruined TED Talks and is ruining YouTube. Where will it end?
Continuously Outraged Fans are Wearisome
The second season of The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power begins on 29th August on Prime Video. Captain America: Brave New World is released theatrically on 14th February 2025. What do these both have in common? The criticism and anger of outraged fans. Yes the vocal minority are at it again, shouting at clouds because a film or TV show has dared to do something that they don’t care for. Be it a question of representation or a matter of “creative adaptation”. It is an especially tedious foible of fandom and is often not just about likes and dislikes, but driven by other cultural and political movements. The matter came up recently in the documentary A Disturbance in the Force about the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special. Writer, actor and director Kevin Smith had wise words to say on this matter. “When you have a bunch of people that love something and take it into their hearts, they claim it. And when these things don't behave the way we want them to, well, it seems like we've become a culture that doesn't know how to handle that”.
Thinking Out Loud is a recurring post where I write about thoughts and ideas that have recently occurred to me. As ever the intention is not to develop these ideas into full blown blog posts, although they often the could be. Instead I just collate a few sentences to express my point and leave it at that. The idea being that if anyone else wants to pick up the conversation they can do so in the comments section below. On this occasion the various points are all technology based. I’ve been busy of late with several projects, such as building a new website and creating some widgets specifically for it. Like most technical projects things don’t often go as planned and problems occur unexpectedly. Hence, I thought why not make a themed instalment of Thinking Out Loud this time round? It’s something that I may well do this again in the future. As ever, feel free to make your thoughts known.
Thinking Out Loud is a blog post series where I share random ideas and thoughts that have come to mind. Some of these could could lead to a full article in themselves but that’s not really the aim. Instead I see these thoughts as just starting points for broader discussions. Some of the ideas espoused can be quite serious, while others are light-hearted and trivial. Such is the nature of random thought. As ever there is no rhyme or reason to the various ideas that I’ve chosen or any significant point or concept linking them all. They are as they claim to be, random thoughts, born from thinking out loud. I do edit myself to ensure what I post here is suitable. It can get a but dark and grim inside my head, so I try to apply some degree of quality control to Thinking Out Loud but not too much. As ever, feel free to comment below if you have anything to add. The idea with this post is to start a conversation of at least provide something to think about.
Kingdom Come: Deliverance and its subsequent sequel have been very well received, both commercially and critically. Hence the recent announcement that developer, Warhorse Studios, are currently working on an open world RPG, set in Middle-earth has caused a great deal of excitement in the gaming community. At present, details are scarce and speculation is rife with regard as to what period in the history of Middle-earth will the game be set in. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t really mind when and where it is set as there are so many potential good choices. But I would like clarification as to whether the game is being made in in first person or third person perspective. By default, I prefer the latter when it comes to this RPG genre. Naturally the best outcome would be if the game supports both. However, it should be noted that the developer’s previous games were in first person. If that is the case with this project, I will revise my expectations.
I was listening to a podcast recently in which comedian Stewart Lee talked about the comedy, music and local arts scene in London during the eighties. He highlighted how you could make a living out of music journalism at the times, albeit not an especially good one. He also talked about bands and comedians that lived from “hand to mouth” in shared properties and squats. Essentially it was still possible to pursue a career in the arts due to its standing within British culture which meant there was still some local funding as well as the revenue generated by those working in it and adjacent to it. The UK economy was such that is could “accommodate” working in the arts. Sadly, the internet and commodification culture has effectively killed such career avenues. You now need a regular job to fund your artistic ventures, which puts pay to such dreams for many people. You also have use social media to promote your work, which comes with its own set of full-time problems. The world changes but not all changes are for the better.
Our household has a newspaper delivered once a week on a Saturday. It is specifically for Mrs P who still likes to sit down at the weekend and catch up with the recent events via print media rather than the 24/7 rolling coverage on TV. There was a time, back in the seventies and eighties, when this delivery service was the province of children trying to earn some money. Nowadays it tends to be adults that undertake this work. Our local newsagents were bought out by a bigger chain a few years back. They in turn were acquired by Morrisons supermarket. A month ago they sacked 1700 “paper boys” nationwide and contracted the newspaper delivery service out to a specialist company, Newsteam. Today at 04:00 a large vehicle pulled up on our drive and noisily rammed a newspaper through the letterbox. This is apparently “progress”.
To quote Sam Gamgee “It's the job that’s never started as takes longest to finish, as my old gaffer used to say”. I recently had a timely reminder that this aphorism is 100% true. I finally got round to updating my blog, something that I had been putting off because I knew it would result in breaking the site and incurring a great deal of work. Well I did it. The process was relatively straight forward and didn’t result in anywhere near the amount of formatting issues that I had feared. Within 72 hours I had figured out how to fix most of the problems that arose and after a week I had added new pages and revised those that required a makeover. I still have to correct image sizes in many previous posts but the site has finally been dragged into the current blog era. Furthermore, addressing this issue has lifted a weight of my mind and I feel far more disposed towards writing and posting regularly. I wish I had done this sooner.
I was quite surprised by an unusually high number of participants in this year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging. The current count is 165. I am pleased by this because I worry about the decline in written skills that appears to be happening in western society. Yet here we have 165 individuals all writing in their own unique way. It is quite reassuring. My RSS feed currently has over 200 blogs that are still regularly updated, many of which are prior Blaugust participants. I try my best to keep up to date with posts and to leave comments, if they’re supported. A bit of blogging solidarity can go a long way and it’s important to encourage all forms of writing and keep the community strong.
Art is a big subject, so I shall keep this brief. Art has a massive impact on shaping our personalities, whether we think it does or not. Consider for a moment, any online service that requires you to write a profile about yourself. Something that is designed to provide a summary of your personality, abilities and your likes and dislikes. IE Facebook, a dating app or even your online resume. Frequently, these profiles will require us to define ourselves by what we read, watch and listen to. Yes, other information is included in such profiles but directly or indirectly, we are asked about our artistic preferences. Possibly we do not consider such a line of questioning to be about art but essentially it is. So we dutifully state which art we cleave to and then look for reciprocal taste in others. Does this not prove that art is important?
When people think about large sums of money, especially in relation to their own salary and any future expectations of wealth, the phrase “a million pounds” (feel free to substitute that with your own currency of choice) will often be bandied about. Culturally it quickly conveys the concept of a large sum of money and as such, something that would transform your life. Although I am not in any way averse to the idea of winning “a million pounds” on the lottery or by some other means, I’m afraid it is no longer the gateway to wealth that it used to be. In fact a so-called cool million may not even last you a lifetime. UK property prices are grossly over inflated, so you could easily blow 50 to 75% of your money just buying a new house. Perhaps we now need to think in tens of millions instead of just a million with regard to life changing wealth.
At present the UK is enduring some relatively harsh winter conditions. Usually November to February is continuously filled with rain and drizzle. When it is not enduring either of those things it tends to be overcast and gloomy. However, for a change the nation is currently experiencing snow, ice and heavy frosts. Even as far as the South East of England (IE where I live) the weather is cold, reaching temperatures as low as -3° celsius. Oh and before we get into the usual “You call that cold? It’s -X degrees here” argument, more fool you for living somewhere freezing. You can move, you know. Getting back on point I hate this time of year because it is so dreary. There’s nothing immediately on the horizon to look forward to and the cold weather just makes the matter worse. The UK is never equipped for snow to begin with. The idea of a fortnight somewhere warmer suddenly becomes a lot more appealing.
I appreciate that talking about illness can often make people uncomfortable. It’s not exactly my favourite thing. However, I do not subscribe to the school of thought of avoiding such matters. We all get ill from time to time to varying degrees and we’re all going to die one day. You can’t just wish problems away. My significant other, Mrs P, has a history of heart disease and her overall health has declined this year. To cut a long story short, she is having surgery on 28th November to effectively repurpose a previously bypassed artery. Throughout this month we have been going to outpatient clinics as well as meetings with consultants. We have also been busy putting practical measures in place for her recovery. As you can imagine, it is a worrying time. Hence, I have not written much in recent weeks as her well being is my current focus.
If you want to buy a grapefruit spoon with an inlaid mother of pearl handle or 25Kg of exotic aquarium gravel, then a simple Google search (other search engines are available) will yield a multitude of results. However, the search engine does not fare so well with finding online communities. Many years ago I joined The LAMB (Large Association of Movie Blogs), which at the time claimed to be the world's largest movie blog directory/community. It was a useful website. From what I can see, this site is now partially dormant. New reviews are being posted but the directory service of other movie related websites seems unavailable. Hence I am looking for a comparable online community where I can share my film reviews and read other peoples. Trying to find one is proving quite difficult.
Simply put, I got fed up with my ongoing diet last week, so I came off the wagon. There were a few glasses of wine too many and a couple of meals that were larger than the new prescribed portion size. As a result, my weight has remained the same as last week’s. On mature reflection, I am glad it didn’t gain weight as that would be very counterproductive. Weight loss and trying to change your diet are difficult tasks and somewhat joyless. Mainly because you are denying yourself pleasure. However, I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror, so if I wish to regain my former status as a minor deity and sexual Tyrannosaurus (in my mind), then I need to get back on track.
With Blaugust: Festival of Blogging fast approaching, I have decided to close several side projects I started last November (which rapidly ran out of momentum) and focus all my writing endeavours back on Contains Moderate Peril. I have taken a 9 month break which has served its purpose. I have decided to make some minor changes to the base template I am currently using for the blog, as it has remained essentially unchanged since summer 2015. I did toy with the idea of involving a third party developer to improve the site but employing such a company with specific Squarespace experience meant spending between £2000 and £3000, which is far more than my initial budget.
First of all let’s begin with an activity that I have a love hate relationship with. Namely, tinkering with your PC. I’ve been looking at the specs of my computer and it would appear that its performance Achilles heel is the graphic card. In a perfect world, I would just buy the latest top of the range model and be done with it. However, I am not sufficiently wealthy to do such things. Hence, I have to set a budget and then search for what is considered the best option within it. This is a tedious, contradictory and wearisome task. It involves trawling through reviews written by people who often do not understand the concept of a budget and figurative lines in the sand. They are infuriating, but that’s people for you.
Thoughts on Blogging Part 19
I’ve been writing online for 17 years. During that time a modest audience has read my posts and occasionally commented on them, which is the accepted dynamic of blogging. Some of my posts are ephemeral. Others, such as film reviews, have greater longevity. Naturally I want people to read my output and I’ve noticed that the film reviews seem to generate a fair amount of traffic. After consulting my website analytics package, it would appear that the majority of readers find my reviews by searching Google. Promoting my writing via social media does very little. Another issue is that readers tend to read the post they found via their search and then leave. Despite there being links at the bottom of the post to similar material. Currently, my blog does not have an effective means of searching older posts. The landing page has only 20 posts listed. There are approximately 2,500 archived.
I’ve been writing online for 17 years. During that time a modest audience has read my posts and occasionally commented on them, which is the accepted dynamic of blogging. Some of my posts are ephemeral. Others, such as film reviews, have greater longevity. Naturally I want people to read my output and I’ve noticed that the film reviews seem to generate a fair amount of traffic. After consulting my website analytics package, it would appear that the majority of readers find my reviews by searching Google. Promoting my writing via social media does very little. Another issue is that readers tend to read the post they found via their search and then leave. Despite there being links at the bottom of the post to similar material. Currently, my blog does not have an effective means of searching older posts. The landing page has only 20 posts listed. There are approximately 2,500 archived.
Six years ago I wrote a tutorial post explaining how to effectively search Contains Moderate Peril. Each post has a list of keyword categories in the footer and if you click on these, it will list all other posts that have been labelled in the same way. There is also a calendar feature on the blog archive page, which shows all posts by dates. However, neither of these two means of searching the site are really intuitive or convenient. To date I am still seeking a suitable means that can be implemented within the current constraints of Squarespace and the specific templates this site uses (Trombone Shorty). I am also trying to determine a means of promoting my content online but in a manner I consider to be ethical. I don’t like misleading, hyperbolic clickbait. Nor do I want my social media accounts to be exclusively used to push my work.
There are plenty of websites that offer advice on marketing and promotion. Broadly, they all state the same things. Create targeted content, build a community via promotion on social media, collaboration with others and back links. SEO is a must. All of which makes sense but is not necessarily to everyone’s tastes. I have no objection with promotion and collaboration but I will not alter my writing style, just to chase an audience. I consider personal blogs to be in some respects like music or newspapers. You write in a certain idiom and that appeals to a specific group. For example, when I write about film I assume that the reader has a certain degree of investment in the subject and some knowledge. Technically, by changing my writing style I could reach a larger audience but that is not what I'm seeking to achieve. I am pursuing a different, smaller niche, which for me is more rewarding.
It is interesting to note that as my return to regular writing has coincided with the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging, there has been a modest increase in traffic to Contains Moderate Peril. I put this down to the various bloggers participating in the event, kindly showing an interest in my posts. As I’ve stated before, seeing any degree of interest in one’s work helps in maintaining the motivation to keep writing. Although the technological aspects of blogging have changed over the years, I suspect the basics remain the same. Readers return whenever new content is available, associated promotion via podcast, live stream or YouTube channel also helps. Giveaways and competitions will attract traffic and some will stick around. A catchy name doesn’t do any harm, although try not to pick something that may box you in at a future date. Finally, keep plugging away. If you throw enough faecal matter at a vertical brick structure, some will eventually adhere.
On Friday 26th June, I had another random spike in internet traffic to Contains Moderate Peril. The statistical package that comes with my Squarespace account recorded over 13k visits in less than 24 hours, which is not typical (although I wish it was). However, all of these visits to my blog arrived via the default homepage and spent between 1 and 2 minutes there. Hence, it was obvious that this was not human traffic, as there was no evidence of any searches being made of content that is available on my site, nor of the “visitors” clicking on any of the links on the top menu and viewing other posts. This was undoubtedly AI traffic arriving at the designated homepage and simply parsing the site. I had a similar spate of this sort of web traffic last November. The only difference on that occasion is that the traffic all came from China. This time round it hailed from the US. I suspect that this is something that will happen more often as companies set their AI loose on the net for what is effectively training.
Today I started the slow process of auditing every post that has been published on Contains Moderate Peril since 1st August 2016. The goal is to correct any obvious typos and replace all existing images with larger ones. The Squarespace software upgrade I applied to the website at the end of last year has finally allowed me to establish a standard format that I am happy with. Hence the ongoing audit is the perfect opportunity to apply these style rules to all posts. There are also some technical issues and matters regarding functionality that need to be addressed. I need to determine how to embed YouTube videos in such a way that they automatically scale to fit whatever device is viewing them. Another area which needs improving is the website search facility. This needs refinement so that enquiries can be more specific. Older posts also need to be more accessible, although I am still researching how best to achieve this.
It’s nearly two and half months since the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event ended. During that time I’ve maintained a fairly regular writing schedule and I post every two days or so. Furthermore, I finally dragged my blog template, kicking and screaming, into the modern era. I tweaked a few pages and updated the content of the “about” page. The next task is to start going through all previous posts and replacing older, low resolution images with larger, more appropriate ones. This process also presents an opportunity to ensure that all posts follow a uniform style. IE Are appropriately categorised, have links to related posts at the bottom and are SEO optimised. This will be a lengthy task so I think the best approach will be to tackle two or three posts a day. Hopefully this will raise the profile of older content, which generates the lion’s hare of traffic to this site.
Back in March 2019 I wrote a blog post about the operating costs of running this website. I went into detail with regard to hosting and domain costs, as well as the other software and hardware used to write posts and at that point produce a podcast. Let it suffice to say that five years on, those costs have all increased. If we’re just looking at maintaining a blog simply in terms of hosting and the domain registration, it costs about £20 a month to run Contains Moderate Peril. Theoretically, if I want to reduce those costs I could dispense with a specific domain name and use a free blogging service. However, I feel that such a compromise comes with its own set of problems, such as advertising and a lack of control (to a degree) over your content. I therefore choose to pay to mitigate these concerns. If I then wish to do more, such as produce a podcast, create videos for YouTube or live stream, then those costs increase.
When you initially start blogging, your aspirations tend to be very straightforward. Choose a title, find a niche and get into the habit of writing. Simple tasks that can still take a while to master. Once your blog is established and has endured for a while, you may not have any further long term goals other than to just keep going. However, if you feel that you want to achieve more then you have to tackle a new set of problems. There is a great deal of “advice” in the public domain about growing and monetising your blog. A lot of it is questionable but there are some approaches that do work. However, these require you to write to a specific process, chasing the ever changing whims of your potential readership. You have to compromise. And for many bloggers, that is the deal breaker.
I spent some time in July, making some changes to Contains Moderate Peril. I replaced the branding and made some alterations to the “about” page to ensure that it was up to date and relevant. Not that anyone reads it as I still regularly receive enquiries about guest posts. Something I no longer do. Today, I made some further changes as it is my long term goal to grow the audience for this site. Hence I want to try and make it easier for visitors to find the content they seek and offer them related material. To facilitate this, I have added some additional menu options to the blog homepage. These act as filters, presenting specifically themed content for readers. Hence there is a “movie” button that lists all film reviews and similarly one for “video games”. There are also links for two specific video games, The Lord of the Rings Online and Star trek Online, as website statistics show that these are popular subjects.
I’ve been writing online for 17 years. During that time a modest audience has read my posts and occasionally commented on them, which is the accepted dynamic of blogging. Some of my posts are ephemeral. Others, such as film reviews, have greater longevity. Naturally I want people to read my output and I’ve noticed that the film reviews seem to generate a fair amount of traffic. After consulting my website analytics package, it would appear that the majority of readers find my reviews by searching Google. Promoting my writing via social media does very little. Another issue is that readers tend to read the post they found via their search and then leave. Despite there being links at the bottom of the post to similar material. Currently, my blog does not have an effective means of searching older posts. The landing page has only 20 posts listed. There are approximately 2,500 archived.
As a blogger we are often told by our peers not to obsess over website traffic and statistics in general. There is a degree of sense in this. We should be primarily focused on writing, maintaining an equitable schedule and staying motivated. Stats can have a negative effect on the latter. However, one cannot ignore the subject either. As a writer, at some point you do want people to actually read your material, or else what is the point? I have therefore always kept an eye on traffic and have attempted to grow my readership overtime. The results have been varied. In my experience, you do slowly build up an audience by being persistent with your writing. But you also have to promote your work, which is a job in itself. It’s also something that not everyone is comfortable with. “Therein lies the rub” as the expression goes. How do you attract readers without compromising your own standards?
I was sitting in my office over the weekend, half-heartedly typing up a blog post about table manners and dining etiquette, when I paused and lapsed into a state of self examination and introspection.
“Isn’t Contains Moderate Peril supposed to be about gaming, movies and popular culture”? “Yes”, I replied to myself via my inner monologue.
“So what the hell am I doing writing about table manners, then?” my inner contrarian retorted.
“Well it is part of our culture, although I wouldn’t argue that it is a defining aspect of the zeitgeist at present” my conciliatory alter ego responded.
“Frankly, I’m getting bored with all of this per se” a third voice stated. It was at this point, I stopped arguing with various facets of my id and went to the pub.
March has been a challenging month for several reasons and as a result I’ve written very little. Furthermore, the recently revived podcast has also ground to a halt after just six episodes due to scheduling issues that are beyond myself and Brian’s control. At the end of February, Google made changes to their search algorithm which have had a major impact upon traffic to Contains Moderate Peril. Visits are down by over 20%. I’ll make no bones about the fact that this has really pissed me off. Several years of growth has been unceremoniously swept away at the drop of a hat. So all this, plus the rapidly changing situation regarding my Mother’s care, has found me ill disposed towards writing. To be clear, I’m not talking about writer’s block. I have plenty of ideas and a folder full of draft posts. I just haven’t wanted to write because I feel that I’m just spitting in the wind.
At the time of writing we are halfway through the Blaugust 2021 Festival of Blogging event. Whenever the subject of personal blogging is raised, there are those who immediately declare that “blogging is dead”. According to Google, out of 1.7 billion websites that currently exist worldwide, 500 million or so of those are blogs of some kind. These generate over 2 million blog posts daily. So I wouldn’t say that blogging per se is done and dusted. However it certainly has evolved considerably over the last 15 years. At the start of the current century blogging was a novel activity providing the means of keeping a personal journal online. Inevitably, popularity and ubiquity led to commercialisation and a necessity to monetise. There was a period of time when clicks, traffic and advertising could generate popularity as well as an income. But other forms of social media offering greater immediacy eventually usurped this potential. Now blogging is seen as more of a niche market activity or corporate tool.
By the time that August rolls around this year, I will have been actively blogging and generally sharing my writing online for 14 years. Prior to that, back in the eighties, I was involved in the production of several fanzines. That was indeed a labour of love and although I was happy to write the content, the work involved in physically creating the actual pages was tough. The printing costs were also an early lesson in how writing is not an immediate path to fame and fortune. All things considered, writing has been a major aspect of my life for as long as I can remember. I used to enjoy writing stories as a child and then as I got older I discovered the pleasure of a well constructed essay. I was fortunate to have three very good English teachers during my time at school, who were passionate about their job and very encouraging.
I mentioned not so long ago the possibility of a website revamp. I was concerned that the general layout of the blog was not optimal and that readers couldn’t easily find old material. In the past I even went as far as to write a guide to navigating through Contains Moderate Peril and using the categories to find old posts. Well I got a few emails and Twitter DMs about this and it would appear that folk like things just as they are. So I have reviewed my position and decided to leave things as they are at present. I did a little digging though my website stats, both from Squarespace and Google Analytics and it would appear the summary blocks at the bottom of each post are used and that the bounce rate for my site is not exactly as it first appears. Seems that readers do peruse other articles and the search facility is being used more often, especially for finding film reviews. So if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Due to the ongoing Global Pandemic, many people are now finding themselves working from home or having to stay in for health or childcare reasons. Hence there has been a marked increase in online leisure activities. Steam has been hit by a record number of concurrent users and Netflix and Amazon prime have both seen an increased demand upon their respective streaming services. If you’re not commuting then you are freeing up a substantial amount of hours each week. This potential abundance of “free time” along with a practical need to channel your energy into something to prevent yourself from going “stir crazy”, presents some interesting opportunities. Many people who have previously expressed an interest in writing and content creation now have the leeway to do so. Naturally, as a writing enthusiast and a long time blogger, I am happy to encourage such activities.
The New Year is often a time for revised plans, renewed ambitions and a desire to get back on the proverbial horse when it comes to content creation. More often than not, many of these lofty ambitions wither on the vine or fall victim to our propensity for indolence. Which is why I think it is prudent to ensure that any goals that you set for yourself are realistic and attainable. If for example, you have just started blogging, then it is wiser to focus on developing and maintaining a writing schedule, rather than trying to get a million page views in your first month. Impossible goals lead to disappointment which can then crush your optimism. Measured, targeted achievements, obtained over a credible time period may not seem so satisfying but they get the job done. Which is why I have given a great deal of thought to my own blogging goals for 2020. I am not going to alter or replace the blog template, nor am I going to embark upon too many side projects such a streaming or creating video content. Although I’d like to do such things I cannot sustain them or cope with the volume of work they will create. This year I am just going to try to create as much written content as possible and focus on expanding brand awareness.
The end of Blaugust Festival of Blogging 2019 presents the perfect opportunity to write another entry in my “Thoughts on Blogging” series. According to the Blaugust schedule this is the “lessoned learned week”, although I’m not too keen on that specific phrase. It sounds too much like the sort of bogus, sombre platitudes that politicians trot out in the wake of some national tragedy. But such is the nature of semantics and such is the curious fashion in which my mind works. So rather than worry of the wording, I’ll just simply reflect upon the past month and consider what it means for my writing, both present and future. Because I do believe that over the last month, I have had a minor epiphany with regard to my relationship with blogging.
The last three months have been problematic from a writing perspective and my productivity and motivation have both suffered. I struggle to find appropriate time to sit down and apply myself to writing and when I do, I seldom have the correct mindset to stay focused for long. Yet due to the back catalogue of content available on Contains Moderate Peril, there is still regular traffic coming to the site. Ironically, despite my low productivity, I have started receiving an increase in blog related marketing and have received numerous emails regarding “collaboration”, “featured posts” and “SEO optimisation”. All of which I have no interest in. However, the point remains, I’m not writing as much as I used to and I miss it. The same can be said for podcasting but that’s a tougher problem to fix. It is more labour intensive than writing, so the logical thing to do is to focus on the former and not the latter to fix.
I wasn’t expecting to write another entry in the Thoughts on Blogging series so soon, but something came up that grabbed my attention and got me thinking. A simple question that’s often asked about blogging and one that has many layers to it, as well as numerous answers. A new blogger who recently joined the Blaugust discord server asked for help “getting traffic to their blog”. An enquiry that gave me (and possibly others) pause for thought. Because we all to a degree want to attract traffic to our blogs. But I also think bloggers are too coy about this this subject. We’ll say things like “I write for myself” or “it’s not about the numbers” and although I agree with these points, building an audience is important. Let’s be honest, it can be somewhat disheartening after writing a lengthy post about a subject close to you heart, for it to fall flat and not attract any traffic. As discussed before, often it is the casual blog posts written in a hurry, that can be the most popular and the articles you’re most proud of can go unnoticed. So let us be honest. I think most bloggers want to grow an audience and enjoy the sense of accomplishment that it provides.
I decided to take a short break from blogging last week. I have a lot on at present and the only time I’ve had available to write has been in the late evening. I prefer to write in the morning as I’m more focused and motivated. Plus I haven’t really had a lot of positive things to say of late about the two primary subjects of this website. Broadly speaking there’s not a lot of going on in the video games industry that enthuses me. Similarly, the current crop of film releases have hardly distinguished themselves. At present when I do get writing ideas, they tend to be obscure niche market subjects or commentary on social issues. For example, I’m thinking of writing a post about my continuing enjoyment of the Japanese TV show Takeshi’s Castle. I’m also forming my thoughts for an article about how society’s relationship with wildlife may be “broken”. Stuff that is interesting to me but may not be ideal material for readers of Contains Moderate Peril.
As January comes to an end, I am pleased that I have so far managed to maintain a daily writing schedule. I hope that I can continue in this vein throughout February. As ever the actual process of sitting and writing has proven a somewhat mixed bag so far this year. Some days the word simply spill out of me and a blog post potentially writes itself. On others, composing just three coherent paragraphs is like pulling teeth and much time is spent procrastinating and getting side tracked. But a mixture of self-discipline and a degree of pride have helped oil the creative wheels and kept the content flowing. Whether any of it is any good is for others to decided. However, it was nice to find one of my posts quoted in an article over at Massively Overpowered. It means that at least someone is reading my work and pondering upon the points therein. Writing is after all a means of communication and sharing ideas so it is rewarding to know that you’re not just yelling into the wind all the time.
This week, a rather high profile sub-reddit associated with the Star Trek Online community, changed its status to “private” as a means of protesting against the state of the game and the way developers Cryptic are handling things. That matter was surprisingly resolved within 24 hours after an olive branch was extended from the STO community manager on reddit. However, it is not the protest itself nor the state of the game that I wish to focus upon, but the importance of /r/stobuilds as a shared community resource. A lot of STO players enjoy optimising their builds and tweaking their loadout and this site it the place to go to share such information. There is also a group of hardcore players that dig deep into the games data and comprehensively crunch number and generate useful information. Hence if a resource such as this was taken offline for longer period of time, it would have a tangible impact upon players and the wider community.
Spending time in the company of others who have similar interests and passions can be an invaluable shot in the arm and a great source of motivation. For example, I recently joined a Facebook group associated with The Evolution of Horror Podcast. It’s an absolute pleasure to be able to pick over the bones of a movie such as The Wicker Man and explore its finer points. You don’t have to adjust your level of conversation for fear of boring people, or dial back your enthusiasm due to concerns of being labelled a nerd or fanboy. Finding these online havens where you feel comfortable are invaluable, regardless of whether your passion is sport, knitting, Lepidoptery or Phrenology. Remember this point. I shall be returning to it shortly.
I read a post over at Tobold’s Blog recently that got me thinking about blogging, popularity, and the ebb and flow of our passions. The reason being is that Tobold, like many other long-term bloggers, has seen a decline in his audience over recent years. He certainly wasn’t carping about it, just simply observing the correlation between reducing your written output, the decline in popularity of his original subject matter and the number of visitors coming to his site. He also made a keen observation that blogging is not necessarily “where it’s at” with regard to cultivating an audience. If you are producing content specifically to grow and maintain a following, then You Tube and Twitch are better platforms for that. Especially if your content is part of the wider gaming scene. For better or for worse, I now associate gaming commentary with visual mediums rather than blogging. Yes, there is still long from criticism being produced but it’s aimed at a niche gaming audience. One that I would guess is older.
I usually write a post early on in the New Year in which I list the various goals I’m focusing on over the next twelve months. To date I have not done this because I am still trying to work out what I can and cannot accommodate within my current schedule. As a carer I’m kept very busy, but my weekly routine does offers windows of opportunity for writing. However, free time is a finite commodity, so I have to really cut my proverbial coat according to my cloth this year. Therefore, I’ve decided to pursue the following projects. I will continue to regularly post on Contains Moderate Peril as I enjoy having my own platform and certainly feel that I still have a lot to write about. Also, the audience is steadily growing, and I think it would be counter productive to fly in the face of such a development. I was also given the opportunity to write for MMOGames recently and have decided to accept this invitation. Writing to deadlines and deferring to editors, is an invaluable learning experience. Plus, it presents my writing to a wider audience which is great for brand awareness and other awful marketing terms.
There wasn’t a Newbie Blogger Initiative this year and I was saddened by that. I’ll make no bones about the fact that I liked this yearly event and the way for a few months after it, you’d see a lot of interesting new blogs spring up, filled with optimism and passion. But, what’s done is done, and life goes on. It’s up to others to pick up that particular torch and run with it, if they wish to see the event to return. I also miss a lot of my colleagues and peers’ blogs and the comradery that stemmed from the associated community. Again, this is a natural and inevitable attrition process, caused by that thing known as “life”. So, to combat my current melancholic malaise, I thought I’d collate a few of my thoughts about writing online and set them down in a semi-regular post, the same way as I do about podcasting.
Caligula: The Ultimate Cut (1979)
There are many stories and anecdotes associated with the 1979 film Caligula. Many of which are apocryphal. However, there is absolutely no doubt that this was a troubled production, with artistic differences between the writer, director and producers. Hence the original theatrical release was not the arthouse, historical drama that it was intended to be. Instead Caligula ended up the most notorious multimillion dollar independent film of the seventies. Steeped in violence, hardcore pornography and acts of depravity, yet boasting an A list cast of British and European actors, a screenplay by the legendary Gore Vidal and an established Italian arthouse director, namely Giovanni “Tinto” Brass . This magnificent cinematic car crash of a film has maintained an interest with cult film enthusiasts, as well as scholars of cinema over the decades. This is mainly because there’s an optimistic school of thought that there is a far better film trying to get out.
There are many stories and anecdotes associated with the 1979 film Caligula. Many of which are apocryphal. However, there is absolutely no doubt that this was a troubled production, with artistic differences between the writer, director and producers. Hence the original theatrical release was not the arthouse, historical drama that it was intended to be. Instead Caligula ended up the most notorious multimillion dollar independent film of the seventies. Steeped in violence, hardcore pornography and acts of depravity, yet boasting an A list cast of British and European actors, a screenplay by the legendary Gore Vidal and an established Italian arthouse director, namely Giovanni “Tinto” Brass . This magnificent cinematic car crash of a film has maintained an interest with cult film enthusiasts, as well as scholars of cinema over the decades. This is mainly because there’s an optimistic school of thought that there is a far better film trying to get out.
For those unfamiliar with the film and its associated legend, Caligula was initially conceived as an historical drama about the rise and fall of the controversial Roman emperor. The film stars Malcolm McDowell in the title role, alongside Teresa Ann Savoy, Helen Mirren, Peter O'Toole, John Steiner, and John Gielgud. It was filmed in Rome at Dear Studios during 1976 and was intended to be a serious dramatic exploration of the theme that absolute power corrupts. Writer Gore Vidal wrote an original screenplay based upon historical sources to that effect. However, director Tinto Brass had other ideas and preferred the concept of Caligula being a born monster just waiting for an opportunity. Hence he rewrote the script with an emphasis on the sensational, although he kept much of the original dialogue. However, upon completion of principal photography, producer Bob Guccione (the publisher of Penthouse) took over editing of the film and shot additional pornographic scenes for inclusion in the theatrical cut. Controversy, outrage and lawsuits followed. Caligula then passed into cinematic legend.
Then in 2019, Thomas Negovan was hired to reconstruct a version of the film closer to the initial vision. Using the original camera negatives of 100 hours of footage unearthed in the Penthouse archive, along with an early draft of Gore Vidal’s script, Negovan has assembled a radically different cut of the film using alternate takes and abandoned footage. However, this has still proven a difficult undertaking as there is far from a consensus on what the original intentions of the production were. Was Caligula intended to be a pure historical drama or a stylised exploration of the themes of Roman decadence, filmed via the medium of Italian arthouse cinema? It would appear that Negovan has arrived somewhere between the two positions. There is now a clear thematic thread running through Caligula: The Ultimate Cut with the emperor portrayed as an anarchic free spirit who is consumed by his own desire to push the boundaries of his power. He is enabled by a coterie of sycophants and lackays, as well as political opportunists.
Film aficionados will spot the changes that Thomas Negovan has made immediately. The film opens with an impressive new animated title sequence featuring a young Caligula performing his eponymous dance. This has been created for the film by “Sandman” artist Dave McKean. Numerous key scenes are now shown in chronological order and many of the more infamous and salacious sequences make use of alternative takes. The new edit certainly presents a more nuanced performance by Malcolm McDowell and the actor himself is certainly pleased with the new edit. Helen Mirren has more screen time as Caligula’s wife, Caesonia, although the character is still somewhat underwritten. Overall there is a far more coherent narrative arc and the film no longer feels like a vehicle exclusively created for the depiction of debauchery and violence.
That being said, Caligula: The Ultimate Cut has not been thoroughly sanitised because it is impossible to do so. Hedonism and physical indulgence are baked into the film’s celluloid DNA. There is still a lot of male and female nudity, a double rape and a great deal of violence and tonal unpleasantness. In replacing certain shots with alternate material, the exploitative aspect of some scenes has been replaced with a somewhat colder and more clinical tone, which in some respects makes them more shocking. Especially the notorious fisting scene and the assassination at the end of the film, which involves an infanticide. Cinephiles will also lament the replacement of Bruno Nicolai’s original score along with the classical cues by Prokofiev and Khachaturian, with a new soundtrack by Troy Sterling Nies. It is nothing more than functional, where the original matched the baroque tone of the film.
Overall Caligula: The Ultimate Cut is probably the best cut of the film we’re ever likely to see. Has Thomas Negovan’s extensive reconstruction revealed a lost masterpiece amid the decadence and depravity of the previous theatrical edition? Not quite. The film remains a cinematic chimaera that veers between high drama and exploitative excess. It just does so in a far more coherent and efficient fashion this time round. It does highlight the baroque production design by Danilo Donati and showcase a far more rounded performance by Malcolm McDowell but this is never going to be a film that finds mass, mainstream appeal. This legendary production will remain a source of fascination for scholars of cinema but is ultimately too “out there” to become an accepted part of the established pantheon of arthouse masterpieces. It is a unique product of its time and now in this new version, a cinematic curate’s egg rather than a hot mess.
College Professor Peter Proud (Michael Sarrazin) has a recurring dream about a man swimming on a lake late at night. A woman named Marcia (Margot Kidder) paddles a small boat out to meet him. As the man tries to climb aboard, Marcia hits him with an oar and he drowns. Perplexed and disturbed, Peter approaches Doctor Sam Goodman (Paul Hecht) who is conducting research into sleep at the College. He conducts several tests which prove that Peter’s experiences are not registering as dreams. The Doctor suggests that they’re hallucinations but Peter theorises that they may be memories of a past life. A chance viewing of a TV documentary about Massachusetts, triggers further memories, so Peter decides to go an investigate. He subsequently learns that the man in his visions is a former Tennis coach, Jeff Curtis, who died in the late 1940s under mysterious circumstances. Is Peter the reincarnation of this man? If so, didn’t he have a daughter, Ann (Jennifer O’Neil). Furthermore is Marcia, Ann’s mother, still alive?
Mainstream films are easy to recommend to people. They’re usually formulaic, work within clear parameters and they’re not controversial. Most people, when viewing such film on someone else’s suggestion, are left with a fairly simply choice. Did they like it or not? Whatever the outcome, no feathers are ruffled. No one looks at you askance afterwards and says “why the hell did you think I’d like that piece of shit”? If something like this happens, then you have clearly not recommended a mainstream film. Perhaps you’ve suggested something that’s a little more of an acquired taste. Something niche, from a very specific sub-genre. Which brings me neatly to Blazing Magnum AKA Strange Shadows in an Empty Room (1976). The US title gives the impression that this film is a hard boiled cop thriller, like so many others that followed in the wake of Dirty Harry. But there’s a clue in the European title. Yes, this movie has more than just a whiff of a giallo about it.
In the year 1860, Baron Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing) faces execution by guillotine for the murders perpetrated by the creature he created. With the assistance of a hunchback named Karl (Oscar Quitak) he avoids death by beheading the priest who came to give him the last rites. The priest’s body is then mistakenly buried by the authorities. Three years later, Victor, now using the name Doctor Stein, has established himself as a prosperous physician in Karlsbrück, serving both affluent patients and the poor at a paupers’ hospital. Hans Kleve (Francis Matthews), a junior member of the medical council, recognises Victor and being an admirer, seeks to become his apprentice. Victor and Hans then undertake an experiment to transplant Karl’s living brain into a new, more refined body, rather than a grotesque monstrosity the Baron has previously made. Karl is eager to have a new healthy body, especially after encountering Margaret Conrad (Eunice Gayson), the charming new assistant at the hospital.
This movie questionnaire was originally created by Alexander from Cinemaniac Reviews. Sadly, I believe that website is now defunct. However, that doesn’t in anyway invalidate the questionnaire itself which has some very good questions about your relationship with cinema. Some of my answers to the questions posed are about films that I enjoy, as opposed to those that are considered cinematic classics. However, I have answered some questions more seriously than others, especially the one about undeserving recipients of the Best Film Oscar. I struggled with a couple of questions because I no longer go the cinema as frequently as I did 10 years ago. This is mainly due to the fact that a lot of the films I find interesting end up going straight to streaming after very brief theatrical releases. Some do not even get shown in cinemas. Hence I view far more at home. But I digress. On with the questions and answers. Feel free to comment below and share your views.
Exit 8 is a sophisticated and claustrophobic psychological thriller directed by Genki Kawamura, which skilfully transforms a minimalist indie walking-simulator game into a cinematic existential enigma. This overtly metaphorical film renders the repetitive nature and drudgery of modern working life into a physical environment in which the lead character is trapped and must find a way out. A random, brutal maze filled with an atmosphere of indifference to the lab rats that find themselves trapped within. Or is it their personal guilt that has put them there? Genki Kawamura’s psychological mystery draws inspiration from the Japanese video game of the same name, as well as from the cyclical nature of Groundhog Day and endless corridors of the Overlook Hotel in Kubrick’s The Shining. Although there are jump scares and some ghoulish imagery, this is not a horror vehicle. Instead this is a disquieting psychological drama with a strong sense of morality.
I wrote a post 18 month’s ago regarding whether a directors cut of a film is superior by default to the version originally shown in cinemas. Obviously the answer was no and I then went on to give three examples of films where I think the theatrical release is better to lengthier or substantially altered director’s cut that was subsequently made available at a later date. This time round in this post, I would like to do the complete opposite. I shall provide some examples of films that I think are significantly improved by a longer cut or a substantially, restructured edit. Note some of these examples are technically not a “director’s cuts” but a restoration or reconstruction of the director’s original vision. I shall endeavour to highlight what specific material or broader changes make each respective film “better”. As ever, all of these examples are a matter of subjective opinion and my views are presented as such, not “fact”.
In 1968 the dilapidated freighter Corita hastily leaves Freetown to avoid a customs inspection. Captain Lansen (Eric Porter) has a cargo of dangerous explosives which he is smuggling so he can finally retire. His ship’s passengers also have reasons for leaving in a hurry. Dr. Webster (Nigel Stock), together with his daughter Unity (Suzanna leigh), is relocating due to his indiscretions with patients and illegal operations. Alcoholic pianist Harry Tyler (Tony Beckley) is aimlessly drifting from port to port. Eva Peters (Hildegard Knef) is fleeing from her husband with stolen bearer bonds which she intend to use to buy back her son from his evil clutches Caracas. Ricaldi (Ben Carruthers), a questionable lawyer, is pursuing Eva to retrieve the stolen bonds. First officer Hemmings (Neil McCallum) suggests that the ship should return to Freetown after an imminent Hurricane warning. The Captain asks the passengers and they are unanimous that they do not wish to return. However a mutinous crew, the bad weather and the instability of the explosives force everyone to abandon ship. The survivors find themselves adrift in a lifeboat surrounded by a strange carnivorous seaweed.
Jason Statham is an exemplar of the US mantra of “staying in your lane”. He makes action movies and occasionally strays into action comedies. His formula broadly works and is sufficiently lucrative to keep Mr. Statham employed. Therefore, if you watch a film in which he stars, you have a fairly good idea of what you’ll be getting. Of late, the criteria for his action vehicles have become more succinct. Jason Statham will play an innocuous character, such as a construction foreman or a bee keeper. Something terrible will subsequently befall another character who Mr. Statham has an emotional connection with in some capacity. He will subsequently hunt down those responsible and meet out death and violence. At some point the villain of the story will enquire as to how this innocuous person is so lethal. Research will then show that our Jason is in fact an ex-police officer/special forces operative/international assassin. There’s then a showdown and the villain dies. Job done.
The Light at the Edge of the World presented itself as an action movie upon its release in 1971. Based upon a story by Jules Verne, the Spanish American co-production was driven by its star Kirk Douglas, who curiously hired British director Kevin Billington to helm the project. This tale of a lighthouse keeper fighting a war of attrition against a group of pirates that have captured his island, was market as an adventure film ostensibly in the idiom of the authors previous works and as a pirate movie. MGM bought the rights to distribute the film in the UK on the misunderstanding that it was a family friendly production. It was not and remains so. They subsequently had to cut 15 minutes of violence and torture as well as an undercurrent of sexual assault to secure a suitable rating. Conversely, the US distributors received an arbitrary PG rating, despite the fact this is one of a handful of films that honestly depicts pirates as murderers, rapists and worse.
It’s an established action film trope. The fire team comprised of ex-military personnel, move in on their target. Only to have the tables turned by someone they don’t deem a threat. What makes it different in The Last Stand of Ellen Cole is a throwaway line of dialogue. The bested operative lies bleeding on the floor and the protagonists stands over them ready to finish them off. “Don’t, I have a cat” they feebly plead. For me that was the icing on the cake. The movie had already established it was taking the “same old, same old” and doing something different. Something fun, if taken in the right spirit. This scene tipped the balance and I embraced this film because it was being honest about what it is. This is a modern B movie that decides to give a very specific sub-genre a makeover. Furthermore, its clearly done with an affectionate wink, which is very different to sly wink. This isn’t deliberate self-knowing irony. Its just a film doing something different and possibly silly but it genuinely wants to have fun with it.
David Koepp is no stranger to genre cinema, having written the screenplay for such films as Jurassic Park, Spider-man and War of the Worlds. Where these titles are big budget, major studio productions, Cold Storage is a far more modest production with a smaller scope. Adapted from his own novel, the screenplay is by David Koepp and the film is directed by British film-maker Jonny Campbell. At first glance, Cold Storage seems a somewhat derivative science fiction horror film with a relatively modest budget, financed through a convoluted US and French co-production. Lurid green and red colours feature heavily in the marketing artwork and it is easy, after a cursory look, to write the film off as cheap, generic, direct-to-streaming filler. However, Cold Storage is prime example of why you should not judge a book by it’s cover, or in this case, a film by its posters and online advertising. It is in fact an amusing and fun endeavour that can fill an evening.
Despite being considered by many as an original story, The Abominable Snowman (1957) is in fact a remake of a made for television play, The Creature, that was originally broadcast in the UK in 1955. Hammer Films would often purchase the rights of popular TV programs and subsequently re-work them for mainstream, international cinema. Larger production budgets and fewer censorship restrictions allowed them to make their cinematic interpretations more lurid, thus commercially viable. Hence The Quatermass Xperiment, Quatermass II and Quatermass and the Pit were all given a big screen makeover and were commercially successful. The Abominable Snowman was written by acclaimed writer Nigel Kneale, who also wrote the original television drama and the aforementioned Quatermass trilogy. Although ostensibly marketed as a horror film this production is actually an interesting blend of psychological thriller and science fiction.
There are certain subjects that are notoriously uncinematic. These tend to be things that exist or are undertaken mainly in the mind, rather than expressed in an overtly physical way. Computing, science and mathematics are good examples. Writing code or working out complex equations does not immediately lend themselves to a visual medium such as cinema. Therefore, any film dealing with the world of corporate finance has its work cut out. Hence writer-director J C Chandor immediately deserves praise for making Margin Call, a film about the financial crash of 2008, as gripping and compelling as any political thriller. He does this by keeping the financial elements of the story to a minimum, choosing instead to focus upon those who have become aware of the imminent crisis and their reaction to it. However, the film remains a tough watch with regard to the some of the characters and their respective personal morality or lack there of.
The 1937 Hindenburg disaster has remained an enduring mystery over the years. The physical mechanics of how this airship filled with 7,000,000 cubic feet of hydrogen gas caught fire has been fully explored over the decades and there are now several extremely plausible theories as to how it may have happened. However, there remains the possibility of sabotage. As such an idea has more dramatic potential than mechanical failure, it was used as the central theme of the 1975 disaster movie The Hindenburg. Directed by Robert Wise, the screenplay by Nelson Gidding explores a German resistance against the Nazi regime. The airship is targeted as it is a powerful propaganda symbol for Hitler’s Germany. Sadly despite some interesting ideas, a strong cast and solid, old school optical effects, The Hindenburg is a slow and somewhat ponderous production. Although the final 20 minutes of the film recreate the infamous explosion meticulously, it doesn’t quite compensate for the uneventful, dialogue driven investigation of the previous 100 minutes.
On the Eastern Front in 1943, a German Tiger tank crew led by Lieutenant Philip Gerkens (David Schütter) is sent on a mission to rescue the missing officer Paul von Hardenburg (Tilman Strauss) from a top-secret bunker that is at risk of falling into enemy hands. As they make their way through an eerie no-man’s land, they have to avoid Russian armoured vehicles that seem to be aware of their mission. They also encounter a German unit taking punitive action against a peasant village, in reprisal for partisan activity in the area. The youngest crew member, Michel (Yoran Leicher), talks of the land being home to ghosts and spirits. As the tank penetrates further into contested territory the crew become increasingly disturbed by the uncanny nature of their mission and begin to fall prey to their own inner fears.
Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic novel has been adapted for cinema and television numerous times. Perhaps the most well known is the 1950 Disney version, starring Robert Newton as Long John Silver. His eye rolling performance and exaggerated West Country accent is credited with popularising the stereotypical form of “pirate speech" that has become the pop culture default. Although an enjoyable film, it does gloss over the more sinister aspects of both the source text and history, perpetuating the myth that pirates are just loveable scoundrels. Many subsequent adaptations have fallen into the same trap to a greater or lesser degree. However, that is not the case with the 1990 version of Treasure island, which was made for the TNT cable network and released theatrically outside of the US. This darker and notably more violent adaptation closely follows the source text and is widely considered the most faithful to the book.
The Planet of the Apes movie franchise took a radical change of course with its third entry in the series. The first two films were set in the future and benefited from high production values to help realise a post apocalyptic earth. However, due to a substantial reduction of budget, Escape from the Planet of the Apes uses a time travel plot device to bring the ape protagonists to present day Los Angeles (1971 in this case). The result is a film with a much smaller narrative scope. However, although it lacks the science fiction spectacle of its predecessors, it features an interesting satirical exploration of celebrity culture and ponders what it is like to be deemed an enemy of the state. As ever, Roddy McDowell and Kim Hunter provide exceptional lead performances as the Chimpanzees Cornelius and Zira. Escape from the Planet of the Apes also captures the pop culture vibe of seventies America.
It is not unusual for Disney to change film titles when marketing them outside of the US. In 2016 they renamed the animated feature film Zootopia to Zootropolis in the UK and Europe to avoid trademark conflicts with other existing businesses. For example there is a Danish zoo which already holds the “Zootopia” name. Similarly, in Germany there is a children’s book which caused copyright conflict, which led to the film being released under the title Zoomania. Such changes, although practical for legal reasons, can sometimes cause a degree of confusion. Especially as there are numerous, low budget productions companies that go out of their way to produce similarly titled “mockbusters” whenever there are big, tentpole, releases. So for clarity, Zootopia 2 has been released in the UK as Zootropolis 2.
Stephen King’s dystopian story, The Running Man, was previously adapted very loosely in 1987, as a vehicle for Arnold Schwarzenegger. That version focused mainly on the “Battle Royale” element of the story and leaned heavily into Arnie’s personality, rather than the politics of the book. It also wasn’t well received by the author. Edgar Wright’s remake follows the source text a lot more closely and is far more interested in its political themes and wider social commentary. Furthermore, this version re-establishes the everyman quality of the hero of Ben Richards, rather than him being the muscle bound, ex-military hero as per Mr. Schwarzenegger’s prior interpretation. This time round, The Running Man uses a lot of the visual and narrative tropes of contemporary reality TV, making this forty three year old story very relevant to today’s viewers and couching the film in a style that is recognisable and accessible.
The Haunted Dolls House is a short film based on a story by M.R. James about a unique antique that is subject to supernatural phenomenon. Adapted by Stephen Gray and David Lilley, this is the third of three short films based upon James’ work that the pair have made. It stars Steven Dolton as Mr. Dillet, a collector of antique dolls houses, who acquires a bargain only to discover that it harbours a ghostly secret. Made on an extremely modest budget over the course of 2012 this clever, innovative and rather sinister adaptation is a fine example of short film creativity. It manages to offer a unique visual depiction of M.R. James’ classic story whilst capturing the unsettling quality of the author’s work. Like so many independently made short films it is clearly a labour of love, made with modest resources. It succinctly captures the spirit of the author’s work and is both innovative and rewarding.
A lot of people may know Luke Evans from the live action version of Beauty and the Beast or Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit trilogy. With his matinee idol good looks, charming Welsh demeanour and his “smoky” tenor singing voice, he projects a sense of old school stardom. Which brings us to No One Lives; a film which is a radical departure from his previous work. His performance is disconcerting to say the least and the film is somewhat unhinged. Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, who made an interesting adaptation of Clive Barker’s The Midnight Meat Train, this cinematic outing is similarly replete with robust shocks and gore. There are some interesting ideas about the nature of violence, Stockholm Syndrome and whether one should deny or embrace one’s nature. However, these are ultimately minor asides. Philosophical musings in between bouts of surprisingly striking unpleasantness.
In the near future, Kepler 822, a research and drilling facility located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, suffers a sudden and catastrophic structural failure. There are only six survivors. Mechanical engineer Norah Price (Kristen Stewart), Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel), biologist Emily Haversham (Jessica Henwick), engineer Liam Smith (John Gallagher Jr.) and crew members Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie) and Paul (T.J. Miller). As all the functional escape pods have been used and they are unable to contact the surface, the Captain suggests using pressurized suits to walk one mile across the ocean floor to the Roebuck 641 drill installation. There they will find more escape pods. However, it soon becomes apparent that the disaster was not caused by an undersea earthquake and that they are not alone as they make their journey.
One of the most common objections raised regarding the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World franchise is that the films are specifically made to obtain a PG-13 rating from the Motion Picture Association, for purely commercial reasons. Hence, in all films, there is little on screen violence and the dinosaurs are mainly portrayed as a threat and a means of providing jump scares. When a character is killed by a dinosaur it usually happens off screen, is obscured by something else in frame, or is shown in long shot with very little detail. The realities of being eaten alive by a predator are conspicuously absent. Hence, audiences looking for films featuring more graphic dinosaur attacks, have not been well catered for apart from some minor direct-to-video titles. Primitive War finally fills this gap in the market with a frenetic genre mashup that strives to punch above is budgetary weight.
During the seventies, cinema was not only a source of mass, commercial entertainment but was still perceived as a medium for intellectual and philosophical discourse. Television was a poor relation in terms of art and cultural significance. Film was where the so called auteur director could muse and ruminate upon the nature of the human condition and audiences could subsequently gush sycophantically about their work at dinner parties. Or something like that. Let it suffice to say that some film makers were still indulged by studios and financiers, who were still keen to cash in on the cultural sea change that came to Hollywood in the late sixties. It’s difficult to see how a film such as Emperor of the North (AKA Emperor of the North Pole) could have been made otherwise. A film set in the Great Depression about a hobo illegally travelling on freight trains and his feud with a ruthless conductor.
In Buenos Aires, Clara (Natalia Señorales) hears voices emanating from the plughole in her kitchen sink. The voices seem to be plotting against her. Her husband Juan (Agustín Rittano) says the sounds are coming from next door. That night, Juan finds Clara’s dead body levitating in their bathroom, slamming against the wall by an invisible force. Meanwhile their neighbour, Walter (Demián Salomón), is experiencing supernatural occurrences while he tries to sleep. An invisible force repeatedly shakes his bed. After using a video camera to film these events, he sees a tall, cadaverous figure emerging from under the bed, standing over him as he sleeps. Across the road, Alicia (Julieta Vallina) is grieving for her recently deceased son, who was run over outside Walter’s house. Alicia's ex-boyfriend, police commissioner Funes (Maximiliano Ghione) calls Jano (Norberto Gonzalo), a paranormal investigator and the pair soon discover more supernatural occurrences in the area.
Black Sabbath (AKA I tre volti della paura) is a 1963 horror anthology film directed by Mario Bava. Although an Italian production, the film was co-financed by American International Pictures and as such was conceived to appeal to US audiences. Hence, the English dialogue edit of the film which was released in America differs significantly to the original Italian version. Despite the presence of the legendary Boris Karloff and the popularity of both anthology and gothic horror at the time,the film was only a modest success at the US box office and did not do well in Italy. However, in more recent years there has been a critical reappraisal of Black Sabbath, especially the Italian dialogue version. Many aspects of the film which are standard genre tropes today, were in fact novel at the time. Also despite the production mainly being studio bound, the film oozes style and has a striking visual aesthetic.
After the success of Raiders of the Lost Ark in 1981, filmmakers scrambled to find existing intellectual properties that they could use for similar films. Hence archaic heroes such as Alan Quatermain were hastily given a modern makeover and thrust into generic movies, in a vague attempt to replicate Steven Spielberg’s successful formula. Which brings us neatly on to James Charles Bigglesworth AKA “Biggles”, a fictional pilot and adventurer from a series of books written by W. E. Johns between 1932 and 1968. Several attempts had been made in the past to bring this character to the silver screen, including one by Disney but they all failed. However, the commercial and critical success of Indiana Jones provided sufficient impetus to greenlight a new film. However, due to some curious production choices, when Biggles was finally released it was far from just a period set, action movie.
Setting aside the hubris of remaking a film such as Red Dawn, the 2012 reboot had a troubled production. Shot over the course of late 2009, on location in Michigan, MGM intended to release the film in September 2010. However, the studio’s financial problems became unsustainable over the course of that year and the film was shelved, while a financial solution was sought. Furthermore, while Red Dawn was in post production, there was a major economic shift within Hollywood due to the increasing importance of the Chinese market. This was a significant problem for MGM because the new version of Red Dawn had the Chinese invading the USA instead of Russia. Hence there were reshoots and the need for additional visual effects, so that the Chinese could be replaced with North Koreans. MGM eventually went bankrupt and the distribution rights to Red Dawn were sold off. The film was eventually released in 2012.
American music producer James William Guercio is primarily known for his work in the music industry. He was the producer of the band Chicago’s first eleven studio albums. In the mid-seventies he also managed the Beach Boys and was a member of their backing band. He was during this time, well known in his field and respected. In 1973, Guercio directed, produced and wrote the score for his first and only feature film, Electra Glide in Blue. He was 28 years old at the time. Upon release the film received mixed reviews from many traditional US newspapers, who were dismissive of its revisionist themes and poetical style. However, in Europe the film was received more favourably and was entered into the 1973 Cannes Film Festival. Fifty two years on and Electra Glide in Blue is now considered an overlooked cult classic and is analysed in a more measured fashion.
When I first saw the promotional trailer for Gangster Squad back in 2012, prior to its release, I wasn't especially impressed. I simply thought the film was another attempt to re-invent the gangster genre for a generation who were not especially familiar with it. I wasn't exactly overwhelmed with director Ruben Fleischer's resume either. I didn't particularly like Zombieland and haven't seen 30 Minutes Or Less. Then came the tragic mass shootings in Aurora, Colorado which led to the movie being delayed so that the original ending, which featured a shoot-out in a movie theatre, could be replaced. Hence when I finally watched this film recently, I wasn't expecting a movie up to the standards of say Once Upon A Time In America or Miller’s Crossing and it would seem that I was right do so. Gangster Squad is not especially noteworthy in any respect.
Longlegs (2024)
Although I was unaware of it, there was a guerrilla marketing campaign for Longlegs which was focused on the internet rather than traditional television adverts. Hence the film gained a lot of interest prior to its release and as well as some some disproportionate expectations. Then immediately after its theatrical debut, the matter was further compounded by a possible excess of gushing praise as the film was “over reviewed”. Therefore I maintained a degree of scepticism about Longlegs and tempered my expectations prior to watching it. Any film that is hailed as the next Silence of the Lambs, featuring a “traumatising” performance by Nicholas Cage needs to be keenly scrutinised so that its cinematic merits can be carefully separated from the surrounding hyperbole. After viewing I found Longlegs to be a finely honed, atmospheric and precisely targeted horror thriller but not the genre milestone that some would claim.
Although I was unaware of it, there was a guerrilla marketing campaign for Longlegs which was focused on the internet rather than traditional television adverts. Hence the film gained a lot of interest prior to its release and as well as some some disproportionate expectations. Then immediately after its theatrical debut, the matter was further compounded by a possible excess of gushing praise as the film was “over reviewed”. Therefore I maintained a degree of scepticism about Longlegs and tempered my expectations prior to watching it. Any film that is hailed as the next Silence of the Lambs, featuring a “traumatising” performance by Nicholas Cage needs to be keenly scrutinised so that its cinematic merits can be carefully separated from the surrounding hyperbole. After viewing I found Longlegs to be a finely honed, atmospheric and precisely targeted horror thriller but not the genre milestone that some would claim.
During the 1990s, FBI agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe) is assigned by her supervisor William Carter (Blair Underwood) to an investigation of a series of murder-suicides in Oregon. In each case a father kills his family and then himself, leaving behind a letter with Satanic coding signed “Longlegs”. The handwriting belongs to a third party and not a family member. Hence Carter suspects that the crimes may have been instigated. Lee, who possibly has latent psychic powers, determines that each family had a 9-year-old daughter born on the 14th of the month. Furthermore, the murders all occurred within six days before or after the birthday itself and the murders form an occult triangle symbol on a calendar. Curiously, one date is missing. While talking to her mother Ruth (Alicia Witt), Lee receives a coded birthday card from Longlegs, warning her that revealing the source of the code will lead to her mother's murder.
Director Osgood Perkins creates a vivid visual and aural landscape which immediately draws the audience into the brooding sense of disquiet. The ambient soundtrack by Zilgi is sparse and often music is replaced by ominous tonal sounds. Perkins also furnishes just enough information both visually and within his screenplay, to keep viewers engaged but forcing them to fill in the narrative gaps themselves. At one point a character is shown to have a substantial supply of medication. Exactly what it is for is never specifically explained. Is it to treat a psychiatric condition of a specific illness? A character refers to the remote location where they and their daughter live and how no one visits them. Is this due to her being an unwedded mother or having some form of mental illness? Both would potentially make them a social pariah in small town America, during the sixties.
Nicholas Cage’s notable performance is not overplayed and his character only makes a few appearances during the film’s first act. His face is obscured initially and it is only during an FBI interrogation scene that we become aware of his curious demeanour. Again whether he is an albino or has acquired such a complexion by avoiding sunlight is never made clear. It is while he is questioned by agent Harker that Cage ups the ante and we become aware that he is not just another broken human being who has morphed into a serial killer. It is at this point that the film commits to a more overtly supernatural plotline, where initially it was deliberately more ambiguous. Beforehand, the murders and associated events could be potentially explained in more conventional terms.
Cinematographer Andrés Arochi does much to build the atmosphere. There are many night scenes with deep shadows and strong, contrasting pools of light. The overall colour palette is somewhat muted but white and red are used vividly. As a result the viewer is kept absorbed by the film’s aesthetic and it doesn’t immediately become apparent that this is a modest budget production with only a handful of characters. There are sufficient jump scares and a couple of scenes of jolting violence, to keep the audience's appetite sated for the staples of the horror genre. The film’s ending is as you would expect, given what has proceeded. Yet despite the series of murders and the implications of direct, satanic intervention, the film still feels restrained in its scope and doesn’t quite have the impact of a cinematic event that some claim it to be. However, less can be more and Longlegs is definitely superior to mainstream horror fare. Osgood Perkins is also a director to keep an eye on.
College Professor Peter Proud (Michael Sarrazin) has a recurring dream about a man swimming on a lake late at night. A woman named Marcia (Margot Kidder) paddles a small boat out to meet him. As the man tries to climb aboard, Marcia hits him with an oar and he drowns. Perplexed and disturbed, Peter approaches Doctor Sam Goodman (Paul Hecht) who is conducting research into sleep at the College. He conducts several tests which prove that Peter’s experiences are not registering as dreams. The Doctor suggests that they’re hallucinations but Peter theorises that they may be memories of a past life. A chance viewing of a TV documentary about Massachusetts, triggers further memories, so Peter decides to go an investigate. He subsequently learns that the man in his visions is a former Tennis coach, Jeff Curtis, who died in the late 1940s under mysterious circumstances. Is Peter the reincarnation of this man? If so, didn’t he have a daughter, Ann (Jennifer O’Neil). Furthermore is Marcia, Ann’s mother, still alive?
In the year 1860, Baron Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing) faces execution by guillotine for the murders perpetrated by the creature he created. With the assistance of a hunchback named Karl (Oscar Quitak) he avoids death by beheading the priest who came to give him the last rites. The priest’s body is then mistakenly buried by the authorities. Three years later, Victor, now using the name Doctor Stein, has established himself as a prosperous physician in Karlsbrück, serving both affluent patients and the poor at a paupers’ hospital. Hans Kleve (Francis Matthews), a junior member of the medical council, recognises Victor and being an admirer, seeks to become his apprentice. Victor and Hans then undertake an experiment to transplant Karl’s living brain into a new, more refined body, rather than a grotesque monstrosity the Baron has previously made. Karl is eager to have a new healthy body, especially after encountering Margaret Conrad (Eunice Gayson), the charming new assistant at the hospital.
Exit 8 is a sophisticated and claustrophobic psychological thriller directed by Genki Kawamura, which skilfully transforms a minimalist indie walking-simulator game into a cinematic existential enigma. This overtly metaphorical film renders the repetitive nature and drudgery of modern working life into a physical environment in which the lead character is trapped and must find a way out. A random, brutal maze filled with an atmosphere of indifference to the lab rats that find themselves trapped within. Or is it their personal guilt that has put them there? Genki Kawamura’s psychological mystery draws inspiration from the Japanese video game of the same name, as well as from the cyclical nature of Groundhog Day and endless corridors of the Overlook Hotel in Kubrick’s The Shining. Although there are jump scares and some ghoulish imagery, this is not a horror vehicle. Instead this is a disquieting psychological drama with a strong sense of morality.
In 1968 the dilapidated freighter Corita hastily leaves Freetown to avoid a customs inspection. Captain Lansen (Eric Porter) has a cargo of dangerous explosives which he is smuggling so he can finally retire. His ship’s passengers also have reasons for leaving in a hurry. Dr. Webster (Nigel Stock), together with his daughter Unity (Suzanna leigh), is relocating due to his indiscretions with patients and illegal operations. Alcoholic pianist Harry Tyler (Tony Beckley) is aimlessly drifting from port to port. Eva Peters (Hildegard Knef) is fleeing from her husband with stolen bearer bonds which she intend to use to buy back her son from his evil clutches Caracas. Ricaldi (Ben Carruthers), a questionable lawyer, is pursuing Eva to retrieve the stolen bonds. First officer Hemmings (Neil McCallum) suggests that the ship should return to Freetown after an imminent Hurricane warning. The Captain asks the passengers and they are unanimous that they do not wish to return. However a mutinous crew, the bad weather and the instability of the explosives force everyone to abandon ship. The survivors find themselves adrift in a lifeboat surrounded by a strange carnivorous seaweed.
David Koepp is no stranger to genre cinema, having written the screenplay for such films as Jurassic Park, Spider-man and War of the Worlds. Where these titles are big budget, major studio productions, Cold Storage is a far more modest production with a smaller scope. Adapted from his own novel, the screenplay is by David Koepp and the film is directed by British film-maker Jonny Campbell. At first glance, Cold Storage seems a somewhat derivative science fiction horror film with a relatively modest budget, financed through a convoluted US and French co-production. Lurid green and red colours feature heavily in the marketing artwork and it is easy, after a cursory look, to write the film off as cheap, generic, direct-to-streaming filler. However, Cold Storage is prime example of why you should not judge a book by it’s cover, or in this case, a film by its posters and online advertising. It is in fact an amusing and fun endeavour that can fill an evening.
Despite being considered by many as an original story, The Abominable Snowman (1957) is in fact a remake of a made for television play, The Creature, that was originally broadcast in the UK in 1955. Hammer Films would often purchase the rights of popular TV programs and subsequently re-work them for mainstream, international cinema. Larger production budgets and fewer censorship restrictions allowed them to make their cinematic interpretations more lurid, thus commercially viable. Hence The Quatermass Xperiment, Quatermass II and Quatermass and the Pit were all given a big screen makeover and were commercially successful. The Abominable Snowman was written by acclaimed writer Nigel Kneale, who also wrote the original television drama and the aforementioned Quatermass trilogy. Although ostensibly marketed as a horror film this production is actually an interesting blend of psychological thriller and science fiction.
The Haunted Dolls House is a short film based on a story by M.R. James about a unique antique that is subject to supernatural phenomenon. Adapted by Stephen Gray and David Lilley, this is the third of three short films based upon James’ work that the pair have made. It stars Steven Dolton as Mr. Dillet, a collector of antique dolls houses, who acquires a bargain only to discover that it harbours a ghostly secret. Made on an extremely modest budget over the course of 2012 this clever, innovative and rather sinister adaptation is a fine example of short film creativity. It manages to offer a unique visual depiction of M.R. James’ classic story whilst capturing the unsettling quality of the author’s work. Like so many independently made short films it is clearly a labour of love, made with modest resources. It succinctly captures the spirit of the author’s work and is both innovative and rewarding.
A lot of people may know Luke Evans from the live action version of Beauty and the Beast or Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit trilogy. With his matinee idol good looks, charming Welsh demeanour and his “smoky” tenor singing voice, he projects a sense of old school stardom. Which brings us to No One Lives; a film which is a radical departure from his previous work. His performance is disconcerting to say the least and the film is somewhat unhinged. Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, who made an interesting adaptation of Clive Barker’s The Midnight Meat Train, this cinematic outing is similarly replete with robust shocks and gore. There are some interesting ideas about the nature of violence, Stockholm Syndrome and whether one should deny or embrace one’s nature. However, these are ultimately minor asides. Philosophical musings in between bouts of surprisingly striking unpleasantness.
In the near future, Kepler 822, a research and drilling facility located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, suffers a sudden and catastrophic structural failure. There are only six survivors. Mechanical engineer Norah Price (Kristen Stewart), Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel), biologist Emily Haversham (Jessica Henwick), engineer Liam Smith (John Gallagher Jr.) and crew members Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie) and Paul (T.J. Miller). As all the functional escape pods have been used and they are unable to contact the surface, the Captain suggests using pressurized suits to walk one mile across the ocean floor to the Roebuck 641 drill installation. There they will find more escape pods. However, it soon becomes apparent that the disaster was not caused by an undersea earthquake and that they are not alone as they make their journey.
In Buenos Aires, Clara (Natalia Señorales) hears voices emanating from the plughole in her kitchen sink. The voices seem to be plotting against her. Her husband Juan (Agustín Rittano) says the sounds are coming from next door. That night, Juan finds Clara’s dead body levitating in their bathroom, slamming against the wall by an invisible force. Meanwhile their neighbour, Walter (Demián Salomón), is experiencing supernatural occurrences while he tries to sleep. An invisible force repeatedly shakes his bed. After using a video camera to film these events, he sees a tall, cadaverous figure emerging from under the bed, standing over him as he sleeps. Across the road, Alicia (Julieta Vallina) is grieving for her recently deceased son, who was run over outside Walter’s house. Alicia's ex-boyfriend, police commissioner Funes (Maximiliano Ghione) calls Jano (Norberto Gonzalo), a paranormal investigator and the pair soon discover more supernatural occurrences in the area.
Black Sabbath (AKA I tre volti della paura) is a 1963 horror anthology film directed by Mario Bava. Although an Italian production, the film was co-financed by American International Pictures and as such was conceived to appeal to US audiences. Hence, the English dialogue edit of the film which was released in America differs significantly to the original Italian version. Despite the presence of the legendary Boris Karloff and the popularity of both anthology and gothic horror at the time,the film was only a modest success at the US box office and did not do well in Italy. However, in more recent years there has been a critical reappraisal of Black Sabbath, especially the Italian dialogue version. Many aspects of the film which are standard genre tropes today, were in fact novel at the time. Also despite the production mainly being studio bound, the film oozes style and has a striking visual aesthetic.
During 1836, in the town of Darkness Falls, Maine, an elderly widow Matilda Dixon is adored by the town’s children as she gives them a gold coin whenever they lose a tooth. One day, after a house fire, Matilda is left burned and sensitive to sunlight, so she starts wearing a china mask. When two children are reported missing, Matilda is blamed by some locals, dragged from her home and hung. She curses the town, stating that whenever a child loses their last tooth, she would come for it. If the child looks at her, she will kill them. The missing children are subsequently found, so the citizens cover up their unjust lynching. In 1990, young Kyle Walsh awakes one night to find Matilda Walsh standing over him. Kyle’s mother is killed and he is blamed for her death and institutionalised. 12 years later, Kyle (Channey Kley) is released and tries to warn the town of the imminent danger when lightning disables the power supply. He is ignored by all until the deaths begin.
Osgood Perkins has a distinct visual style and tone to his films. It is why his previous film, Longlegs, was such a welcome change from standard genre outings. It was atmospheric both visually and tonally, demonstrating a keen understanding of horror cinema. Hence he is the perfect director to helm this adaptation of a Stephen King short story. The plot is greatly expanded and the screenplay takes a lot of liberties with the source material but the main themes of your past being inescapable and the power of guilt remain front and centre. Due to the extreme and bizarre nature of much of the onscreen deaths, the film wisely has a strong streak of gallows humour running through it which is extremely well handled. Comedy can often be used to defuse or mitigate violence which can be narratively dishonest (think Fred Krueger). Here it adds to the cruel and capricious nature of the random deaths.
When reviewing Sting, one critic stated that the small scale setting and thus, low stakes (IE only a few peoples lives are at risk), made the film not especially memorable. I consider this to be a somewhat spurious criticism. It is the very fact that Sting takes place in such a commonplace environment, with the main characters being everyday people that makes it different. There is a clear focus on well defined characters and their backstory. Unlike so many contemporary films, I actually gave a damn about the protagonists in Sting. An integral aspect of the horror genre is the ability to take a well known and familiar trope and provide a different and absorbing spin on it .It would appear that some audiences have been belaboured over the head by so many overblown and bombastic blockbusters, that the very notion of depicting small, localised and intimate events in a film, seems to bamboozle them.
Some films are made with the intention of starting a franchise, others evolve into one after a surprise box office success and lucrative sequels. Alien (1979) falls into the latter category. A mid-budget science fiction horror film that was well crafted and then benefited immensely by being released at just the right time. Sadly, many franchises become derailed and enter into a death spiral due to competing artistic visions, cynical studio politics and cinematic ignorance. This has certainly afflicted all subsequent Alien films after James Cameron’s magnificent Aliens (1986). Sometimes, a franchise can correct its course and do something fresh with the source material. Prey (2022) is a fine example of this with director Dan Trachtenberg bringing fresh vigour and intelligence back to the Predator movies. I believe that was the intention with Alien Romulus (2024). Sadly, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is a popular entry among fans of the franchise. This is mainly due to the return of makeup artist, Tom Savini, who creates several notable death scenes and a bravura ending for Jason Voorhees. There is also an attempt by writer Barney Cohen to have a more involving story compared to previous entries in the series. Director Joseph Zito, who previously directed the above average slasher movie The Prowler AKA Rosemary’s Killer (1981), brings a harder edge to the proceedings, making Jason more menacing than in the previous instalment. As ever, the film was dismissed by the critics but performed well at the box office. Producer Frank Mancuso Jr fully intended for this film to be a definitive end to the series, as he was becoming increasingly concerned that his association with the franchise was having a negative impact upon his career.
Set directly after the events of the previous film, Friday the 13th Part III is again about a group of friends staying near Crystal Lake who encounter Jason Voorhees as he embarks upon another killing spree. Shot in 3D the film has a less sleazy tone than its predecessors although the formula remains the same. The set pieces and death scenes are more elaborate and less clinical, taking advantage of the 3D picture format. The film marks the first appearance of Jason's signature hockey mask, which subsequently became a trademark of both the character and the franchise. Originally conceived to be an end to the series of films, Friday the 13th Part III performed extremely well at the box office, earning $36.7 million on a budget of $2.2 million. As a result, the franchise was given a stay of execution and a further sequel was commissioned.
Originally, Friday the 13th Part 2 was intended to be an anthology film based on the superstition associated with the date. However, after the popularity of the original film's surprise ending, the producers opted to continue the story and mythology surrounding Camp Crystal Lake. This eventually became the parameters which all future films would broadly work within. Friday the 13th Part 2 is a more polished production than the first movie, benefitting from twice the budget of the original. The quick turnaround meant that Paramount Pictures could continue to capitalise on the popularity of the slasher genre. However, there was growing social pushback against these types of films, from Christian lobby groups and other “concerned parties”. Hence, Friday the 13th Part 2 ran into problems with the MPAA ratings board and cuts were imposed. Something that would continuously plague the franchise over the years.
Writing any kind of review for the original Friday the 13th movie seems somewhat redundant, as it has been analysed and written about numerous times before. If you’re interested in the film’s production as well as its subsequent impact on US cinema at the time, then there is an excellent summary on Wikipedia. Having recently rewatched the entire franchise, courtesy of the Shout Factory’s Friday the 13th Collection Deluxe Edition, I have a few thoughts I’d like to share. The picture quality of all the films is very good, offering a lot more visual information compared to previous releases. The amount of “extras” included in the box set is prodigious. I suspect that these are the best versions that we’re ever likely to see. Fans hoping that one day all the cut footage will be found and re-integrated into each film are likely to remain disappointed. Some material has surfaced but sadly a lot of deleted and extended scenes have been destroyed.
George A. Romero's Day Of The Dead (1985) is a bleak and remorseless masterpiece. The final entry in his “Dead Trilogy”, its central theme is that in a world on the brink of destruction, man is still the biggest threat to his own existence. It is well scripted, clinically accurate in its observations on human nature and thought provoking, despite having its budget cut just weeks before production commenced. 40 years later it is revered as a genre milestone and is considered one of Romero’s finest works. Sadly, the 2008 “remake” directed by Steve Miner, who has a background in slasher and exploitation movies, takes a contrasting approach, to say the least. It certainly has very little to do with Romero’s film and one can’t help but assume that it is nothing more than a cynical cash in. Setting aside comparisons with the original, this is not in any way a standout zombie film in its own right.
Although I was unaware of it, there was a guerrilla marketing campaign for Longlegs which was focused on the internet rather than traditional television adverts. Hence the film gained a lot of interest prior to its release and as well as some some disproportionate expectations. Then immediately after its theatrical debut, the matter was further compounded by a possible excess of gushing praise as the film was “over reviewed”. Therefore I maintained a degree of scepticism about Longlegs and tempered my expectations prior to watching it. Any film that is hailed as the next Silence of the Lambs, featuring a “traumatising” performance by Nicholas Cage needs to be keenly scrutinised so that its cinematic merits can be carefully separated from the surrounding hyperbole. After viewing I found Longlegs to be a finely honed, atmospheric and precisely targeted horror thriller but not the genre milestone that some would claim.
As a rule, it is always a challenge to end a trilogy of films successfully. Writing a satisfying denouement to a standalone movie is hard enough. To be able to conclude all pertinent story arcs and themes that have been sustained over three feature films, to everyone’s liking is far harder to achieve. In the case of The Final Conflict (1981), the last instalment of The Omen trilogy, writer Andrew Birkin does manage to resolve all of the external, internal and philosophical stakes, which are the fundamental components of a cinematic screenplay. Unfortunately, it is done in an incredibly underwhelming manner, which left audiences feeling cheated. The last time good defeated evil evil in such an unspectacular fashion was in Hammer’s To the Devil a Daughter (1976). This is why, in spite of solid production values, The Final Conflict is the least popular of the films about the Antichrist, Damien Thorn.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a film that often provokes a strong reaction from genre fans. This is mainly due to it not having any direct connection to the previous two films. The absence of Michael Myers in such a franchise was a serious mistake and the subsequent poor box office returns endorsed this. Yet if this film had been released as a separate product it may not have performed so poorly. After re-examining Halloween III: Season of the Witch there are many aspects of interest. Despite a troubled production, the film is an intriguing anomaly that tried to be different during a decade where the established horror formula was “stalk n' slash”. It does have a very bleak tone and some consider it to be mean spirited as the cast are killed off one by one. Perhaps theme of child sacrifice caused audiences to balk?
Ghostwatch is a controversial British horror “mockumentary” produced by the BBC that was first broadcast on October 31st 1992. Written by Stephen Volk and produced by Ruth Baumgarten it is now considered a milestone in UK broadcasting. This was mainly due to the strong reaction it provoked from the public, many of whom failed to grasp that it was a drama. At the time it raised serious questions about responsible programming and caused a furore in the British press. It has curiously never been shown since by the BBC. Ghostwatch remains a talking point to this day and is a text book example of the power of television as well as the publics enduring belief in the supernatural.
Event Horizon is a curious movie hybrid, mixing plot elements from classic sci-fi and horror genres. It has been labelled “Hellraiser in Space” by some lazy critics, although I think there's far more to it than that. Perhaps a more apt description would be a Gothic horror story set in space. The movie has garnered a cult reputation since its release in 1997, mainly due to its graphic imagery and troubled production history. It does indeed have some quite shocking sequences but the lightning editing does not show as much as some would think. Paramount forced director Paul W S Anderson to reduce the original one hundred and thirty minute running time down to a more manageable ninety, after unfavourable test screenings. Much of the violence was allegedly removed as a result of that process. Sadly nothing survives of the removed material other than a VHS workprint. Hence a restored director’s cut is therefore unlikely.
The peace of tranquillity of Santa Ynes, Utah, is shattered when the town becomes the focus of several hit and run deaths, by a mysterious and apparently driverless, black car. After the Sheriff (John Marley) is run down, it is down to Captain Wade Parent (James Brolin) and his deputies to protect the town from this sinister threat. Is the car simply a driven by a mad man or is there a more supernatural explanation? When the car menaces a local school marching band, the teachers and students take refuge in the nearby cemetery. Does the cars inability to enter consecrated ground provide a clue to its otherworldly origins and offer a potential solution? As the death count increases and the population becomes more fearful, the Captain and his team of deputies form a desperate plan to see if they can lure the car into a trap.
The key to success in the horror genre is to try and find an innovative new angle on tried and tested themes and tropes. The Night Flier is an often-overlooked gem, that takes a unique perspective on vampirism and features strong performances as well as an intelligent and thoughtful screenplay. It builds a sense of foreboding during it’s first two acts and teases audiences with some unpleasant prosthetic effects, courtesy of KNB EFX Group. The climax of the movie is both thought provoking and suitably unpleasant. Furthermore, The Night Flier even manages to make a coherent criticism of tabloid culture and morals of those journalists working in the industry. It’s a damn shame that this modest but well-crafted genre movie didn’t get the attention it deserved when it was initially released in 1997.
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors was the first portmanteau horror movie by Amicus Productions. The small British studio was founded by producers and screenwriters Milton Subotsky and Max Rosenberg. As the horror genre grew in popularity due to the success of Hammer films, Amicus saw the potential in the portmanteau format. Subotsky in particular held Ealing Studios 1945 classic Dead of Night in very high regard. Although only a modest budget movie, Dr. Terror's House of Horrors proved to be financially successful and led to a series of similarly structured films over the next decade. These included Torture Garden (1967), The House That Dripped Blood (1970), Asylum (1972), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), From Beyond the Grave (1974),
Ghost Story is a deliberately superficial adaptation of the novel by Peter Straub. If you’ve read the book and are expecting a verbatim retelling of the plot, then you will be disappointed. It’s complex narrative structure and the abundance of characters do not immediately lend themselves to mainstream film making. However, if you like tales of the supernatural and solid performances from Hollywood legends, then this may well be for you. John Irvin has always been a workman like director and has therefore often been overlooked. Films such as Hamburger Hill and When Trumpets Fade show a great deal of focus and a clear understanding of the mechanics of cinema.
The Ruins is similar to both The Mist and Cloverfield , which were released around the same time, in so far that it is rather bleak and unrelenting movie. And like the aforementioned films, its strength lies in the manner in which it tackles the subject of people facing their own death in a credible fashion. In The Ruins the protagonists when faced with the prospect of their own demise quickly descend in to panic and resolutely refuse to face facts. Although these are negative themes that may not be to everyone’s tastes, they make The Ruins both gripping and genuinely scary.
Handwriting
I recently had to complete some formal paperwork which required me to fill in various information by hand, in black ink. I sat myself at the dining room table and subsequently started writing the necessary information. To my surprise this proved quite difficult. After a few minutes of trying to write neatly, my right hand started cramping. The more I tried to concentrate and “write casually”, the harder it became. By the time I completed the form, my writing had deteriorated considerably. I was somewhat ashamed of the way I had scrawled over this legal document. To make things worse, I then remembered having handwriting lessons as a child. Overall, I was somewhat perturbed at my apparent loss of the ability to write. However, after some further thought, I wondered when was the last time I wrote anything longhand? Exactly how often do I put pen to paper nowadays?
I recently had to complete some formal paperwork which required me to fill in various information by hand, in black ink. I sat myself at the dining room table and subsequently started writing the necessary information. To my surprise this proved quite difficult. After a few minutes of trying to write neatly, my right hand started cramping. The more I tried to concentrate and “write casually”, the harder it became. By the time I completed the form, my writing had deteriorated considerably. I was somewhat ashamed of the way I had scrawled over this legal document. To make things worse, I then remembered having handwriting lessons as a child. Overall, I was somewhat perturbed at my apparent loss of the ability to write. However, after some further thought, I wondered when was the last time I wrote anything longhand? Exactly how often do I put pen to paper nowadays?
Upon reflection, the last time I wrote anything longhand, would have been last Christmas. The personal messages that I wrote in a few cards to friends. Beyond that I had to complete some legal paperwork in February and March but it really was no more than writing my signature. In fact even writing my name has become a rarity these days. I don’t write cheques anymore. I think the last time I used such an instrument of payment was about twenty years ago. The UK dropped the requirement for signing when using your credit card, roundabout 2002 or so. Thinking further back, when I started my first job for the UK civil service at the end of the eighties, there was still quite a lot of manual written work. A decade later when I left, all written work was done via a PC. Hence, it would appear that for a lot of people, myself included, modern life has no requirement to write with a pen.
A quick Google search verifies my own experience. Handwriting is no longer considered to be as essential as it once was. However some academics argue that handwriting is still an important skill due to its wider cognitive benefits. Handwriting engages different parts of the brain compared to typing. It can help with memory retention such as learning the alphabet. Handwriting can also help develop artistic skills and can provide an opportunity for a child to develop aspects of their own character. However, children today tend to be digital natives and often their first experiences with letters and spelling can be via that medium. Formal handwriting comes later and is certainly no longer developed as a specific skill. Neural divergence is another reason why handwriting is not treated so formally.
Things change. All major cultural shifts have advantages and disadvantages. Technology makes writing a lot more accessible. The digital written word can be disseminated far more quickly and equitably. Yet without the medium of technology, those words cease to exist. However, we still have written words from over 5,000 years ago, written on clay tablets. Setting aside the practical arguments, handwriting as it existed in the past was often a thing of beauty. Consider the script on the US constitution or the UK Magna Carta. I also have letters written by my grandparents and there is an earthy and honest beauty to their personal handwriting. Perhaps we have lost something special by shedding the necessity to write longhand. However, there is nothing to stop anyone concerned by this societal shift, in taking up handwriting as a hobby. Perhaps our need to conserve our heritage may lead to a resurgence?
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
Spotify
I currently have over 152 GB of music on my PC. Approximately 26,000 songs or pieces of music. These are in MP3, Flac and other formats. The files have been sourced from various CDs that I have owned over the years and subsequently “ripped”. Others have been bought from Amazon or other similar sources. In the past I have copied music from friends’ collections and vice versa. The files are mainly categorised by artist or name which is sufficient for me to be able to trawl through them to find what I want. I use foobar2000 as my music player of choice, mainly because it is updated by its developer, plays all major file formats and has no adverts. The interface is verging on the spartan but I prefer this minimalist approach, as I do not require an excess of features.
I currently have over 152 GB of music on my PC. Approximately 26,000 songs or pieces of music. These are in MP3, Flac and other formats. The files have been sourced from various CDs that I have owned over the years and subsequently “ripped”. Others have been bought from Amazon or other similar sources. In the past I have copied music from friends’ collections and vice versa. The files are mainly categorised by artist or name which is sufficient for me to be able to trawl through them to find what I want. I use foobar2000 as my music player of choice, mainly because it is updated by its developer, plays all major file formats and has no adverts. The interface is verging on the spartan but I prefer this minimalist approach, as I do not require an excess of features.
For the last decade or so, this has been my default music set up. As I spend a lot of time in my office, at my desk, this is how I’ve mainly listened to music. A few years ago I ditched the ageing desktop speakers that were attached to my PC and bought a good quality soundbar. It has been a great improvement. I also have a pair of Sony WH-CH520 Wireless Bluetooth Headphones for those occasions when I need to keep the noise down, or for when I’m travelling. However, several things happened in the last year or so which made me question the status quo. The first was Mrs P buying a new car. It didn’t come with a CD player. The second occurred at one of my son’s barbecues. A playlist was collated within minutes with many guests contributing via their existing streaming music accounts. This ensured that there was an equitable representation of all kinds of music, negating any arguments.
Hence, when I received an email offering a 3 month free trial of Spotify last Christmas, I jumped at the chance. Needless to say the flexibility of the platform, along with its substantive music catalogue made it pretty much a no brainer. I lived through the album era and although I like sleeve art, I’ve always found records an inconvenience and never bought into the culture of reverence for them. Similarly, I feel the same way about CDs. So when the MP3 format started to gain traction in the earlier 2000s I quickly adopted it as it had the advantages of superior storage and easy access. Hence, streaming music services are a logical progression. Spotify is convenient and offers easy access. It’s on my PC, phone, smartspeaker. We can also access it when out or in the car.
Setting aside the practical benefits of its accessibility, the other major appeal of Spotify is collating and sharing playlists. Playlists are an excellent means of curating music for specific moods and occasions. As I have an organisational streak to begin with, creating bespoke lists of songs is something I can happily do for hours. I also find sharing other peoples playlists a very useful means of discovering new songs and artists. I can do this with friends and celebrities alike. I recently accessed a list of songs curated by film director Edgar Wright and it was very much to my tastes. However, if you still like to listen to a specific album in order the tracks appear, you can still do this. Spotify will also try and recommend comparable artists based upon your listening history. It’s not a perfect system but it can be quite creative in its choices at times.
The obvious downside to using a streaming service, as opposed to playing the music I already have stored, is the cost. However, I can justify that by the increased accessibility I now enjoy. Another issue that happens from time to time, is not being able to find a specific track. Spotify doesn’t claim to be a definitive music source but it does allow you to add files locally. I have also experienced a few glitches from time to time. Specific songs added to a playlist will sometimes default to alternative versions or mixes for no discernable reason. Material will sometimes be greyed out and unplayable. Presumably due to copyright issues. However, these are minor complaints. So far Spotify justifies its cost by its convenience and so I am happy to endure the expenditure. There are wider issues to consider such as the cultural shift away from “owning” music, to just “renting” it but that is a discussion for another blog post.
I find the concept of in-game radio stations fascinating. They’re an enjoyable aspect of open world video games and I have discovered several artists this way. They’re certainly a big deal as far as Rockstar Games are concerned, because the music selected for GTA VI is another important facet of the overall marketing campaign. So far, between two trailers and the sprawling extended look on Netflix, it has been determined that Tom Petty, the Pointer Sisters, Sexyy Red, Depeche Mode, Phil Collins, Birdman, Lil Wayne and the Bellamy Brothers are all part of the game soundtrack. That’s a very eclectic selection so far. Furthermore, there will be a 34 track album released on physical media (vinyl and CD) in conjunction with Atlantic Records.
Song lyrics can be powerful things. They can capture the mood and spirit of an era. They can also make powerful socio-political points. Or they can simply be pleasing to the listener by their use of language and playfulness. They can stick in your mind for both deep and trivial reasons. Mishearing them is also a common problem but that is a separate blog post. On this occasion I thought it would be worthwhile exploring the subject of song lyrics of note. Hence I have collated some that I find interesting, wise or just entertaining. These aren’t necessarily my favourite songs of all time, because I like so many. Instead these are some of the ones that sprang to mind when I was preparing this post. I have decided to have the selected lyrics first and the name of the artists afterwards, so that the emphasis is placed upon the words from the song. Although is is more than likely that you’ll be able to identify the songs from the lyrics immediately, or at least for some of them.
The transition from purchasing music on CDs, vinyl or via downloads, to on-demand streaming has fundamentally altered the music industry. Furthermore, the current dominance of on-demand streaming as a medium for providing music has actually reshaped how pop music is written, produced and released. Because streaming platforms like Spotify, Apple Music, and TikTok operate on specific payment algorithms and cater to the rapid-scrolling habits of contemporary listeners, producers and songwriters have decided to completely rewrite the rulebook of how pop music is made. These new rules are not one hundred percent ubiquitous and you’ll still find song writers and artists who do things the old way or in a manner that suits them. However, sufficient numbers of song writers have adopted the new methodology, that you can hear the change if you spend a day or so listening to a mainstream pop playlist or radio station that showcases such material.
I was recently listening to some music on Spotify when it struck me how poor the sound quality was. It lacked any depth and certain instruments seemed lost in what I can only describe as a somewhat flat and smudged soundscape. Then I remembered that I had recently reinstalled the app on my PC after the search facility "broke" on the previous install. It would seem that any prior settings and customisations that I may have made had not carried over, not that I recollect specifically making any. I consulted Google Gemini to see if this issue was a common one and low and behold it is. The latest version of Spotify, by default, has the streaming bitrate set fairly low to accommodate data capped internet services or low bandwidth connections. In audio terms the music quality sounds poor. Hence I spent sometime nosing around in the settings to see what needed to be changed to remedy this problem. Here is the breakdown of the alterations that I made.
The Guardian news website have a recurring feature in their “culture” section called Honest Playlist where they ask various celebrities about their music listening habits. There are a dozen or so stock questions that they use to grill their guest, although they don’t always use the same ones. I think it makes for interesting reading so its a column that I often visit. As I haven’t published a post based upon an internet questionnaire for a while, I thought I poach this particular line of questioning and have a crack at it myself. I have chosen the ten questions that I think are the best and by that I mean, they have the most scope for interesting answers. I didn’t include the one about karaoke because it’s not something I especially like. Each to their own. Feel free to similarly purloin this set of questions and write your own responses. I’m always fascinated by these sort of things.
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
I recently came up with a random writing prompt for the annual Blaugust: Festival of Blogging event. Namely, “what is your favourite bassline in a song”? For clarity, Wikipedia defines a bassline as follows: Bassline is the term used in many styles of music, such as blues, jazz, funk, dub and electronic, traditional, and classical music, for the low-pitched instrumental part or line played by a rhythm section instrument such as the electric bass, double bass, cello, tuba or keyboard. As I thought of this prompt, it only seems fair that I tackle it myself. Hence, here are five songs that I feel have notable basslines, or that have bassplayers that play in a unique style. I am not especially musically talented myself and therefore not au fait with all the correct musical terminology. However, I will strive to quantify why I think each song is a good example.
This post is not intended to be a comprehensive review of music per se in 2024. It is simply a few thoughts on what I’ve been listening to over the course of the year and my ever changing relationship with the Terpsichorean muse. As a man in his fifties who has always enjoyed multiple genres of music and it is a comforting presence in day-to-day life. Up to a year ago, I relied upon my own music collection on my PC as the source of music to which I listened. Yet, this meant that I was somewhat locked into my own existing tastes and there was limited scope for me to find new material. This changed last December when I started subscribing to Spotify and since then it has become my primary source of music. It caters to my tastes, which at times are quite niche and it gently introduces me to new material without being too invasive. This has proven most beneficial.
I currently have over 152 GB of music on my PC. Approximately 26,000 songs or pieces of music. These are in MP3, Flac and other formats. The files have been sourced from various CDs that I have owned over the years and subsequently “ripped”. Others have been bought from Amazon or other similar sources. In the past I have copied music from friends’ collections and vice versa. The files are mainly categorised by artist or name which is sufficient for me to be able to trawl through them to find what I want. I use foobar2000 as my music player of choice, mainly because it is updated by its developer, plays all major file formats and has no adverts. The interface is verging on the spartan but I prefer this minimalist approach, as I do not require an excess of features.
The following is about a cultural change. That is not to say that it’s a value judgement or one of those posts you so frequently read by bloggers of a certain age, that essentially boil down to “things were better in my day”. It is merely an observation and like all observations it is not 100% universal. There will always be exceptions to the rule. I am simply painting with broad strokes a general truism for your consideration. My point being that people listen, experience and enjoy music differently these days compared to how they did three to four decades ago. I’m not talking about the science of hearing or anything complex like that. I am merely highlighting the change in the way we choose to experience music and how that has an impact upon its creation and presentation. So like Anne Elk, presenting her theory on the Brontosaurus, here is the axiom at the heart of this post.
I was reminiscing about the music of my youth the other day which led me to listen to a track by Pro-Pain. The band formed in NYC in 1991 and their debut album Foul Taste of Freedom got some traction in the UK. I lost track of them after the next album and moved on musically. However, because of my recent fit of nostalgia, I looked the band up on Wikipedia and discovered that they were still going. Now thirty years is quite a long period of time and nothing stays the same forever but even I was surprised to see that the lineup of Pro-Pain had changed over a dozen times. The only original artist in the band today is bass player, lead vocalists and founder member, Gary Meskil. As ever this started a train of thought about the subject. How so many bands have made substantial changes in their lineup over the course of their careers and the respective pros and cons of such decisions.
In 2000, I was the proud owner of a Sega Dreamcast. I had a broad selection of games for the console from multiple genres, including Metropolis Street Racer. This was an early example of an open world driving game which is noteworthy in itself. However, what stood out for me was that this was the first game that I had played which had in-game radio stations. Although this is something that is now de rigueur within this sub-genre, back then this was a novelty. The tracks were stored on the game CD but played selectively according to which radio station you were listening to when driving. The sound even broke up if you went into a tunnel. The songs were all original creations, rather than licensed properties. Although credited to faux bands and bogus artists, composer Richard Jacques wrote and arranged them all. I was especially fond of the Oasis inspired band Salford Quays and the track Live Your Life.
I was a teenager during the eighties and the music that I listened to at the time was a major part of my overall experience. My musical taste influenced how I dressed and sometimes even determined friendships. Going to a gig and seeing music performed live was a major rite of passage. Furthermore, due to there only being a handful of TV channels in the UK at the time, meant that certain key programs were responsible for the dissemination of a broad spectrum of musical genres. Hence, while you waited for a band that you liked to come on, you’d sit and be exposed to a wealth of different artists. Something that tends not to happen nowadays as there is far more choice available. My passion for music persisted throughout the nineties and then began to wane round about the turn of the century. Work and the practicalities of daily life made it increasingly difficult to “keep up”. I used to read the music press and know about contemporary artists. I no longer do this. I often don’t even know what the current Number 1 record is.
I try and keep abreast of what's happening and going on, especially in those areas of interest to me such as movies, TV and gaming etc. Occasionally stuff passes me by that I subsequently discover at a later date, often to the refrain of WTF? A few years ago I was idly channel surfing only to discover that a seminal UK children's TV show from my youth, the Mr. Men, had been remade in a more contemporary idiom. Luckily, the source characters were still relatively unscathed, and the revamped show did a competent job in bringing Roger Hargreaves work to a new generation. Still, no one had told me and discovering this, in such a fashion was a bit of a surprise.
Dining and Table Manners
I saw a post on social media recently which featured a picture of a plate with three slices of cake, along with a cake fork (also known as a pastry fork or dessert fork). I made a comment about using the right tool for the job and then thought how unusual it was to see this particular piece of cutlery these days. I then remembered that my American friends refer to cutlery as silverware, which then got me thinking about table manners and the associated social etiquette around dining. The internet does an excellent job of making the world smaller and because international English and US pop culture are so ubiquitous, you can be fooled into thinking that we’re all somewhat homogeneous in our habits and customs. That, however, is not the case and I have always found these minor differences fascinating. Hence I thought it would be a good subject to explore.
I saw a post on social media recently which featured a picture of a plate with three slices of cake, along with a cake fork (also known as a pastry fork or dessert fork). I made a comment about using the right tool for the job and then thought how unusual it was to see this particular piece of cutlery these days. I then remembered that my American friends refer to cutlery as silverware, which then got me thinking about table manners and the associated social etiquette around dining. The internet does an excellent job of making the world smaller and because international English and US pop culture are so ubiquitous, you can be fooled into thinking that we’re all somewhat homogeneous in our habits and customs. That, however, is not the case and I have always found these minor differences fascinating. Hence I thought it would be a good subject to explore.
My Grandson, is three years old. He has recently discovered that when he comes to stay with myself and Mrs P, we have quite a lot of rules. Particularly at dinner time. During which, we all sit at the table and the TV goes off. We use our cutlery primarily to eat and our hands when appropriate. Everyone stays at the table while eating and you don’t get to wonder off. If you need to go to the toilet, then you politely excuse yourself from the table. We all remain seated until everyone has finished their meal. Finally, the most controversial rule is, if you don’t eat your dinner, then you don’t get dessert. However, these rules are tempered by common sense. Therefore, we will not serve things that are obviously unpleasant to a three year olds palette. I also see no sense in bullying a child into eating something they don’t enjoy. However, I won’t let our grandchildren dine exclusively just on the things they want.
These rules are a variation of those I learned from my parents. However, ours are far more equitable compared to theirs. My mother and father grew up during World War II and endured rationing. Hence they adopted a scorched earth policy with regard to wasting food or any kind of food fad. To their generation, table manners and indeed manners per se were a direct reflection of your personal character. Hence you used the right cutlery in the correct manner. You didn’t chew with your mouth open, nor eat noisily. Although such codes have good intentions, I do feel that ultimately much of the Edwardian culture surrounding manners that endured in the UK until the seventies, was more about reinforcing class division than just promoting politeness. Hence I take a more flexible approach to such things.
Returning to the specifics of dining etiquette, here are a few differences between the UK, Europe, and the US. Let us start with knife and fork usage. In the UK and Europe, the fork is held in the left hand and the knife in the right. The fork is kept in the left hand even when eating, and food is either pushed onto the back of the fork with the knife, or impaled on the fork. Americans often use the “zigzag” method. They cut food with the fork in the left hand and knife in the right, then switch the fork to the right hand to eat, setting the knife down. With regard to starting a meal, in the UK it is customary to wait for everyone to be served before starting the meal. In countries like Italy and Spain, it’s polite to wait for the host to say “Buon appetito” or something similar before beginning. In the US, while it’s polite to wait for others to be served, in casual settings, it's common to start eating as soon as your food arrives. Naturally none of these rules are set in stone and practices vary.
Modern life is very different from that of the seventies, or the early nineteen hundreds. Dining, although an important aspect of family life and social interaction, is far less formal. However, I do feel it plays a vital role in bringing people together and learning social dynamics. I also believe that dining together is the quickest way to get to know someone, especially those from a different background. However, not everyone has the same relationship with food as I do. Nor do all enjoy the social dynamic of dining with company. I can fully appreciate how people of an introverted nature and the neural divergent can find the various conventions associated with social dining to be smothering and frustrating. Hence, if you prefer to dine on your own in a casual fashion, free from rules and spoon draining people with big personalities, then so be it.
I however enjoy social dining, mainly due to my love of food and because I do believe in its virtues. I am comfortable eating informally, be it at a drive-through or barbeque, or at formal dinner parties or restaurant. I like meals that are leisurely paced, with an emphasis on enjoying conversation and good company. On my few trips to Europe, I have especially liked that dinner often started late in the evening and was a lengthy process. As for the rules relating to salad forks or fish knives, if you’re not sure then just ask. I was at a fancy restaurant once and ordered snails in garlic sauce as a starter. I asked one of the waiters how one tackled such a delicacy and he happily instructed me in the use of the “tools” that I was presented with.
Inevitably, the subject of dining and table manners, segues into other tangential matters such as napkins (and folding them into swans and gibbons), what condiments you prefer, as well as what drinks you serve with a meal. I will quickly make the following points regarding these. If you’re dining with children, then napkins, kitchen towel, or some sort of moist cleaning wipe are essential. Condiments are so much more than salt and pepper these days. Hence have whatever chutneys, sauces, relish or garnish you see fit. If you want ketchup on your steak, damn everyone else, you go for it. Same goes for what you drink with a meal. If you want red wine with fish, fine. It’s your meal after all. The only advice I’d ever give freely is watchout for grapefruit spoons. And if I were to pick one rule associated with table manners that I think should be set in stone, it’s to thank your host or whoever has prepared the meal.
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
The Final Conflict (1981)
As a rule, it is always a challenge to end a trilogy of films successfully. Writing a satisfying denouement to a standalone movie is hard enough. To be able to conclude all pertinent story arcs and themes that have been sustained over three feature films, to everyone’s liking is far harder to achieve. In the case of The Final Conflict (1981), the last instalment of The Omen trilogy, writer Andrew Birkin does manage to resolve all of the external, internal and philosophical stakes, which are the fundamental components of a cinematic screenplay. Unfortunately, it is done in an incredibly underwhelming manner, which left audiences feeling cheated. The last time good defeated evil evil in such an unspectacular fashion was in Hammer’s To the Devil a Daughter (1976). This is why, in spite of solid production values, The Final Conflict is the least popular of the films about the Antichrist, Damien Thorn.
As a rule, it is always a challenge to end a trilogy of films successfully. Writing a satisfying denouement to a standalone movie is hard enough. To be able to conclude all pertinent story arcs and themes that have been sustained over three feature films, to everyone’s liking is far harder to achieve. In the case of The Final Conflict (1981), the last instalment of The Omen trilogy, writer Andrew Birkin does manage to resolve all of the external, internal and philosophical stakes, which are the fundamental components of a cinematic screenplay. Unfortunately, it is done in an incredibly underwhelming manner, which left audiences feeling cheated. The last time good defeated evil evil in such an unspectacular fashion was in Hammer’s To the Devil a Daughter (1976). This is why, in spite of solid production values, The Final Conflict is the least popular of the films about the Antichrist, Damien Thorn.
Damien Thorn (Sam Neill), is now 32 years old and head of his late uncle's international conglomerate, Thorn Industries. The US president appoints him Ambassador to Great Britain, which Thorn reluctantly accepts on the condition he also becomes head of the UN Youth Council. Thorn moves to the UK and continues his international scheming. However, an alignment of the stars heralds the Second Coming of Christ who, according to scripture, is to be born in England. Thorn subsequently orders all boys in the country born during the alignment to be killed. Meanwhile, Father DeCarlo (Rossano Brazzi) and six other priests recover the seven daggers of Megiddo, the only holy artefacts that can kill the Antichrist. They seek to hunt Thorn in the hope of killing him before he can destroy the Christ-child. But when the first assassin attempt goes awry, Thorn becomes aware of their plans.
The Final Conflict benefits greatly from the casting of Sam Neil as Damien Thorn. He is suitably charming and brooding. Filmed mainly in the UK, the production values are high and the film uses such locations as Cornwall and North Yorkshire extremely well. The cinematography is handled by Phil Meheux and Robert Paynter, who were both stalwarts of the UK film industry at the time. Jerry Goldsmith’s score is magnificent and does much of the heavy lifting, adding a sense of gravitas and gothic dread. The screenplay includes some bold ideas with themes of political manipulation by Thorn industries, as they create the very environmental disasters that they subsequently supply aid to. Director Graham Baker does not shy away from the infanticides ordered by Damien Thorn. Although not explicit, it is a disturbing aspect of the story.
Yet, despite so many positive points, The Final Conflict runs out of steam after the first hour. Too many good ideas are not developed sufficiently. The international intrigue alluded to at boardroom level, takes place off screen. The film would have been substantially improved if we saw directly Damien Thorn travelling the world and engaging with refugees and becoming a champion of the people. Including international locations would have better conveyed his global reach. Damien also doesn’t get to spar with his adversary. Instead he berates and harangues Christ via a rather disturbing full size crucifix that he keeps locked in an attic. Perhaps the biggest mistake the film makes is with the extravagant and contrived set pieces that befall those who discover Damien Thorn’s true nature. These had become a hallmark of the franchise. The first two onscreen deaths work well but the rest fall somewhat flat and simply aren’t shocking enough. As for ending, it serves its purpose but nothing more.
Overall, The Final Conflict is a well made but disappointing conclusion to what was originally a very intriguing franchise. Perhaps with a larger budget and a broader narrative scope that made the story more international, it could have fulfilled its potential. It certainly should have been more ambitious with its death scenes as its two predecessors were. Sadly instead of a decapitation with a sheet of glass or bisection by a lift cable, we have to make do with a high fall from a viaduct and a couple of stabbings. And then there’s the underwhelming ending. The more you think about it, the more you wonder how the studio thought this would be an appropriate ending. As it stands, The Final Conflict is watchable but offers nothing more than a perfunctory ending to the story of the rise and fall of Antichrist, Damien Thorn. Adjust your expectations accordingly.
College Professor Peter Proud (Michael Sarrazin) has a recurring dream about a man swimming on a lake late at night. A woman named Marcia (Margot Kidder) paddles a small boat out to meet him. As the man tries to climb aboard, Marcia hits him with an oar and he drowns. Perplexed and disturbed, Peter approaches Doctor Sam Goodman (Paul Hecht) who is conducting research into sleep at the College. He conducts several tests which prove that Peter’s experiences are not registering as dreams. The Doctor suggests that they’re hallucinations but Peter theorises that they may be memories of a past life. A chance viewing of a TV documentary about Massachusetts, triggers further memories, so Peter decides to go an investigate. He subsequently learns that the man in his visions is a former Tennis coach, Jeff Curtis, who died in the late 1940s under mysterious circumstances. Is Peter the reincarnation of this man? If so, didn’t he have a daughter, Ann (Jennifer O’Neil). Furthermore is Marcia, Ann’s mother, still alive?
In the year 1860, Baron Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing) faces execution by guillotine for the murders perpetrated by the creature he created. With the assistance of a hunchback named Karl (Oscar Quitak) he avoids death by beheading the priest who came to give him the last rites. The priest’s body is then mistakenly buried by the authorities. Three years later, Victor, now using the name Doctor Stein, has established himself as a prosperous physician in Karlsbrück, serving both affluent patients and the poor at a paupers’ hospital. Hans Kleve (Francis Matthews), a junior member of the medical council, recognises Victor and being an admirer, seeks to become his apprentice. Victor and Hans then undertake an experiment to transplant Karl’s living brain into a new, more refined body, rather than a grotesque monstrosity the Baron has previously made. Karl is eager to have a new healthy body, especially after encountering Margaret Conrad (Eunice Gayson), the charming new assistant at the hospital.
Exit 8 is a sophisticated and claustrophobic psychological thriller directed by Genki Kawamura, which skilfully transforms a minimalist indie walking-simulator game into a cinematic existential enigma. This overtly metaphorical film renders the repetitive nature and drudgery of modern working life into a physical environment in which the lead character is trapped and must find a way out. A random, brutal maze filled with an atmosphere of indifference to the lab rats that find themselves trapped within. Or is it their personal guilt that has put them there? Genki Kawamura’s psychological mystery draws inspiration from the Japanese video game of the same name, as well as from the cyclical nature of Groundhog Day and endless corridors of the Overlook Hotel in Kubrick’s The Shining. Although there are jump scares and some ghoulish imagery, this is not a horror vehicle. Instead this is a disquieting psychological drama with a strong sense of morality.
In 1968 the dilapidated freighter Corita hastily leaves Freetown to avoid a customs inspection. Captain Lansen (Eric Porter) has a cargo of dangerous explosives which he is smuggling so he can finally retire. His ship’s passengers also have reasons for leaving in a hurry. Dr. Webster (Nigel Stock), together with his daughter Unity (Suzanna leigh), is relocating due to his indiscretions with patients and illegal operations. Alcoholic pianist Harry Tyler (Tony Beckley) is aimlessly drifting from port to port. Eva Peters (Hildegard Knef) is fleeing from her husband with stolen bearer bonds which she intend to use to buy back her son from his evil clutches Caracas. Ricaldi (Ben Carruthers), a questionable lawyer, is pursuing Eva to retrieve the stolen bonds. First officer Hemmings (Neil McCallum) suggests that the ship should return to Freetown after an imminent Hurricane warning. The Captain asks the passengers and they are unanimous that they do not wish to return. However a mutinous crew, the bad weather and the instability of the explosives force everyone to abandon ship. The survivors find themselves adrift in a lifeboat surrounded by a strange carnivorous seaweed.
David Koepp is no stranger to genre cinema, having written the screenplay for such films as Jurassic Park, Spider-man and War of the Worlds. Where these titles are big budget, major studio productions, Cold Storage is a far more modest production with a smaller scope. Adapted from his own novel, the screenplay is by David Koepp and the film is directed by British film-maker Jonny Campbell. At first glance, Cold Storage seems a somewhat derivative science fiction horror film with a relatively modest budget, financed through a convoluted US and French co-production. Lurid green and red colours feature heavily in the marketing artwork and it is easy, after a cursory look, to write the film off as cheap, generic, direct-to-streaming filler. However, Cold Storage is prime example of why you should not judge a book by it’s cover, or in this case, a film by its posters and online advertising. It is in fact an amusing and fun endeavour that can fill an evening.
Despite being considered by many as an original story, The Abominable Snowman (1957) is in fact a remake of a made for television play, The Creature, that was originally broadcast in the UK in 1955. Hammer Films would often purchase the rights of popular TV programs and subsequently re-work them for mainstream, international cinema. Larger production budgets and fewer censorship restrictions allowed them to make their cinematic interpretations more lurid, thus commercially viable. Hence The Quatermass Xperiment, Quatermass II and Quatermass and the Pit were all given a big screen makeover and were commercially successful. The Abominable Snowman was written by acclaimed writer Nigel Kneale, who also wrote the original television drama and the aforementioned Quatermass trilogy. Although ostensibly marketed as a horror film this production is actually an interesting blend of psychological thriller and science fiction.
The Haunted Dolls House is a short film based on a story by M.R. James about a unique antique that is subject to supernatural phenomenon. Adapted by Stephen Gray and David Lilley, this is the third of three short films based upon James’ work that the pair have made. It stars Steven Dolton as Mr. Dillet, a collector of antique dolls houses, who acquires a bargain only to discover that it harbours a ghostly secret. Made on an extremely modest budget over the course of 2012 this clever, innovative and rather sinister adaptation is a fine example of short film creativity. It manages to offer a unique visual depiction of M.R. James’ classic story whilst capturing the unsettling quality of the author’s work. Like so many independently made short films it is clearly a labour of love, made with modest resources. It succinctly captures the spirit of the author’s work and is both innovative and rewarding.
A lot of people may know Luke Evans from the live action version of Beauty and the Beast or Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit trilogy. With his matinee idol good looks, charming Welsh demeanour and his “smoky” tenor singing voice, he projects a sense of old school stardom. Which brings us to No One Lives; a film which is a radical departure from his previous work. His performance is disconcerting to say the least and the film is somewhat unhinged. Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, who made an interesting adaptation of Clive Barker’s The Midnight Meat Train, this cinematic outing is similarly replete with robust shocks and gore. There are some interesting ideas about the nature of violence, Stockholm Syndrome and whether one should deny or embrace one’s nature. However, these are ultimately minor asides. Philosophical musings in between bouts of surprisingly striking unpleasantness.
In the near future, Kepler 822, a research and drilling facility located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, suffers a sudden and catastrophic structural failure. There are only six survivors. Mechanical engineer Norah Price (Kristen Stewart), Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel), biologist Emily Haversham (Jessica Henwick), engineer Liam Smith (John Gallagher Jr.) and crew members Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie) and Paul (T.J. Miller). As all the functional escape pods have been used and they are unable to contact the surface, the Captain suggests using pressurized suits to walk one mile across the ocean floor to the Roebuck 641 drill installation. There they will find more escape pods. However, it soon becomes apparent that the disaster was not caused by an undersea earthquake and that they are not alone as they make their journey.
In Buenos Aires, Clara (Natalia Señorales) hears voices emanating from the plughole in her kitchen sink. The voices seem to be plotting against her. Her husband Juan (Agustín Rittano) says the sounds are coming from next door. That night, Juan finds Clara’s dead body levitating in their bathroom, slamming against the wall by an invisible force. Meanwhile their neighbour, Walter (Demián Salomón), is experiencing supernatural occurrences while he tries to sleep. An invisible force repeatedly shakes his bed. After using a video camera to film these events, he sees a tall, cadaverous figure emerging from under the bed, standing over him as he sleeps. Across the road, Alicia (Julieta Vallina) is grieving for her recently deceased son, who was run over outside Walter’s house. Alicia's ex-boyfriend, police commissioner Funes (Maximiliano Ghione) calls Jano (Norberto Gonzalo), a paranormal investigator and the pair soon discover more supernatural occurrences in the area.
Black Sabbath (AKA I tre volti della paura) is a 1963 horror anthology film directed by Mario Bava. Although an Italian production, the film was co-financed by American International Pictures and as such was conceived to appeal to US audiences. Hence, the English dialogue edit of the film which was released in America differs significantly to the original Italian version. Despite the presence of the legendary Boris Karloff and the popularity of both anthology and gothic horror at the time,the film was only a modest success at the US box office and did not do well in Italy. However, in more recent years there has been a critical reappraisal of Black Sabbath, especially the Italian dialogue version. Many aspects of the film which are standard genre tropes today, were in fact novel at the time. Also despite the production mainly being studio bound, the film oozes style and has a striking visual aesthetic.
During 1836, in the town of Darkness Falls, Maine, an elderly widow Matilda Dixon is adored by the town’s children as she gives them a gold coin whenever they lose a tooth. One day, after a house fire, Matilda is left burned and sensitive to sunlight, so she starts wearing a china mask. When two children are reported missing, Matilda is blamed by some locals, dragged from her home and hung. She curses the town, stating that whenever a child loses their last tooth, she would come for it. If the child looks at her, she will kill them. The missing children are subsequently found, so the citizens cover up their unjust lynching. In 1990, young Kyle Walsh awakes one night to find Matilda Walsh standing over him. Kyle’s mother is killed and he is blamed for her death and institutionalised. 12 years later, Kyle (Channey Kley) is released and tries to warn the town of the imminent danger when lightning disables the power supply. He is ignored by all until the deaths begin.
Osgood Perkins has a distinct visual style and tone to his films. It is why his previous film, Longlegs, was such a welcome change from standard genre outings. It was atmospheric both visually and tonally, demonstrating a keen understanding of horror cinema. Hence he is the perfect director to helm this adaptation of a Stephen King short story. The plot is greatly expanded and the screenplay takes a lot of liberties with the source material but the main themes of your past being inescapable and the power of guilt remain front and centre. Due to the extreme and bizarre nature of much of the onscreen deaths, the film wisely has a strong streak of gallows humour running through it which is extremely well handled. Comedy can often be used to defuse or mitigate violence which can be narratively dishonest (think Fred Krueger). Here it adds to the cruel and capricious nature of the random deaths.
When reviewing Sting, one critic stated that the small scale setting and thus, low stakes (IE only a few peoples lives are at risk), made the film not especially memorable. I consider this to be a somewhat spurious criticism. It is the very fact that Sting takes place in such a commonplace environment, with the main characters being everyday people that makes it different. There is a clear focus on well defined characters and their backstory. Unlike so many contemporary films, I actually gave a damn about the protagonists in Sting. An integral aspect of the horror genre is the ability to take a well known and familiar trope and provide a different and absorbing spin on it .It would appear that some audiences have been belaboured over the head by so many overblown and bombastic blockbusters, that the very notion of depicting small, localised and intimate events in a film, seems to bamboozle them.
Some films are made with the intention of starting a franchise, others evolve into one after a surprise box office success and lucrative sequels. Alien (1979) falls into the latter category. A mid-budget science fiction horror film that was well crafted and then benefited immensely by being released at just the right time. Sadly, many franchises become derailed and enter into a death spiral due to competing artistic visions, cynical studio politics and cinematic ignorance. This has certainly afflicted all subsequent Alien films after James Cameron’s magnificent Aliens (1986). Sometimes, a franchise can correct its course and do something fresh with the source material. Prey (2022) is a fine example of this with director Dan Trachtenberg bringing fresh vigour and intelligence back to the Predator movies. I believe that was the intention with Alien Romulus (2024). Sadly, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is a popular entry among fans of the franchise. This is mainly due to the return of makeup artist, Tom Savini, who creates several notable death scenes and a bravura ending for Jason Voorhees. There is also an attempt by writer Barney Cohen to have a more involving story compared to previous entries in the series. Director Joseph Zito, who previously directed the above average slasher movie The Prowler AKA Rosemary’s Killer (1981), brings a harder edge to the proceedings, making Jason more menacing than in the previous instalment. As ever, the film was dismissed by the critics but performed well at the box office. Producer Frank Mancuso Jr fully intended for this film to be a definitive end to the series, as he was becoming increasingly concerned that his association with the franchise was having a negative impact upon his career.
Set directly after the events of the previous film, Friday the 13th Part III is again about a group of friends staying near Crystal Lake who encounter Jason Voorhees as he embarks upon another killing spree. Shot in 3D the film has a less sleazy tone than its predecessors although the formula remains the same. The set pieces and death scenes are more elaborate and less clinical, taking advantage of the 3D picture format. The film marks the first appearance of Jason's signature hockey mask, which subsequently became a trademark of both the character and the franchise. Originally conceived to be an end to the series of films, Friday the 13th Part III performed extremely well at the box office, earning $36.7 million on a budget of $2.2 million. As a result, the franchise was given a stay of execution and a further sequel was commissioned.
Originally, Friday the 13th Part 2 was intended to be an anthology film based on the superstition associated with the date. However, after the popularity of the original film's surprise ending, the producers opted to continue the story and mythology surrounding Camp Crystal Lake. This eventually became the parameters which all future films would broadly work within. Friday the 13th Part 2 is a more polished production than the first movie, benefitting from twice the budget of the original. The quick turnaround meant that Paramount Pictures could continue to capitalise on the popularity of the slasher genre. However, there was growing social pushback against these types of films, from Christian lobby groups and other “concerned parties”. Hence, Friday the 13th Part 2 ran into problems with the MPAA ratings board and cuts were imposed. Something that would continuously plague the franchise over the years.
Writing any kind of review for the original Friday the 13th movie seems somewhat redundant, as it has been analysed and written about numerous times before. If you’re interested in the film’s production as well as its subsequent impact on US cinema at the time, then there is an excellent summary on Wikipedia. Having recently rewatched the entire franchise, courtesy of the Shout Factory’s Friday the 13th Collection Deluxe Edition, I have a few thoughts I’d like to share. The picture quality of all the films is very good, offering a lot more visual information compared to previous releases. The amount of “extras” included in the box set is prodigious. I suspect that these are the best versions that we’re ever likely to see. Fans hoping that one day all the cut footage will be found and re-integrated into each film are likely to remain disappointed. Some material has surfaced but sadly a lot of deleted and extended scenes have been destroyed.
George A. Romero's Day Of The Dead (1985) is a bleak and remorseless masterpiece. The final entry in his “Dead Trilogy”, its central theme is that in a world on the brink of destruction, man is still the biggest threat to his own existence. It is well scripted, clinically accurate in its observations on human nature and thought provoking, despite having its budget cut just weeks before production commenced. 40 years later it is revered as a genre milestone and is considered one of Romero’s finest works. Sadly, the 2008 “remake” directed by Steve Miner, who has a background in slasher and exploitation movies, takes a contrasting approach, to say the least. It certainly has very little to do with Romero’s film and one can’t help but assume that it is nothing more than a cynical cash in. Setting aside comparisons with the original, this is not in any way a standout zombie film in its own right.
Although I was unaware of it, there was a guerrilla marketing campaign for Longlegs which was focused on the internet rather than traditional television adverts. Hence the film gained a lot of interest prior to its release and as well as some some disproportionate expectations. Then immediately after its theatrical debut, the matter was further compounded by a possible excess of gushing praise as the film was “over reviewed”. Therefore I maintained a degree of scepticism about Longlegs and tempered my expectations prior to watching it. Any film that is hailed as the next Silence of the Lambs, featuring a “traumatising” performance by Nicholas Cage needs to be keenly scrutinised so that its cinematic merits can be carefully separated from the surrounding hyperbole. After viewing I found Longlegs to be a finely honed, atmospheric and precisely targeted horror thriller but not the genre milestone that some would claim.
As a rule, it is always a challenge to end a trilogy of films successfully. Writing a satisfying denouement to a standalone movie is hard enough. To be able to conclude all pertinent story arcs and themes that have been sustained over three feature films, to everyone’s liking is far harder to achieve. In the case of The Final Conflict (1981), the last instalment of The Omen trilogy, writer Andrew Birkin does manage to resolve all of the external, internal and philosophical stakes, which are the fundamental components of a cinematic screenplay. Unfortunately, it is done in an incredibly underwhelming manner, which left audiences feeling cheated. The last time good defeated evil evil in such an unspectacular fashion was in Hammer’s To the Devil a Daughter (1976). This is why, in spite of solid production values, The Final Conflict is the least popular of the films about the Antichrist, Damien Thorn.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a film that often provokes a strong reaction from genre fans. This is mainly due to it not having any direct connection to the previous two films. The absence of Michael Myers in such a franchise was a serious mistake and the subsequent poor box office returns endorsed this. Yet if this film had been released as a separate product it may not have performed so poorly. After re-examining Halloween III: Season of the Witch there are many aspects of interest. Despite a troubled production, the film is an intriguing anomaly that tried to be different during a decade where the established horror formula was “stalk n' slash”. It does have a very bleak tone and some consider it to be mean spirited as the cast are killed off one by one. Perhaps theme of child sacrifice caused audiences to balk?
Ghostwatch is a controversial British horror “mockumentary” produced by the BBC that was first broadcast on October 31st 1992. Written by Stephen Volk and produced by Ruth Baumgarten it is now considered a milestone in UK broadcasting. This was mainly due to the strong reaction it provoked from the public, many of whom failed to grasp that it was a drama. At the time it raised serious questions about responsible programming and caused a furore in the British press. It has curiously never been shown since by the BBC. Ghostwatch remains a talking point to this day and is a text book example of the power of television as well as the publics enduring belief in the supernatural.
Event Horizon is a curious movie hybrid, mixing plot elements from classic sci-fi and horror genres. It has been labelled “Hellraiser in Space” by some lazy critics, although I think there's far more to it than that. Perhaps a more apt description would be a Gothic horror story set in space. The movie has garnered a cult reputation since its release in 1997, mainly due to its graphic imagery and troubled production history. It does indeed have some quite shocking sequences but the lightning editing does not show as much as some would think. Paramount forced director Paul W S Anderson to reduce the original one hundred and thirty minute running time down to a more manageable ninety, after unfavourable test screenings. Much of the violence was allegedly removed as a result of that process. Sadly nothing survives of the removed material other than a VHS workprint. Hence a restored director’s cut is therefore unlikely.
The peace of tranquillity of Santa Ynes, Utah, is shattered when the town becomes the focus of several hit and run deaths, by a mysterious and apparently driverless, black car. After the Sheriff (John Marley) is run down, it is down to Captain Wade Parent (James Brolin) and his deputies to protect the town from this sinister threat. Is the car simply a driven by a mad man or is there a more supernatural explanation? When the car menaces a local school marching band, the teachers and students take refuge in the nearby cemetery. Does the cars inability to enter consecrated ground provide a clue to its otherworldly origins and offer a potential solution? As the death count increases and the population becomes more fearful, the Captain and his team of deputies form a desperate plan to see if they can lure the car into a trap.
The key to success in the horror genre is to try and find an innovative new angle on tried and tested themes and tropes. The Night Flier is an often-overlooked gem, that takes a unique perspective on vampirism and features strong performances as well as an intelligent and thoughtful screenplay. It builds a sense of foreboding during it’s first two acts and teases audiences with some unpleasant prosthetic effects, courtesy of KNB EFX Group. The climax of the movie is both thought provoking and suitably unpleasant. Furthermore, The Night Flier even manages to make a coherent criticism of tabloid culture and morals of those journalists working in the industry. It’s a damn shame that this modest but well-crafted genre movie didn’t get the attention it deserved when it was initially released in 1997.
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors was the first portmanteau horror movie by Amicus Productions. The small British studio was founded by producers and screenwriters Milton Subotsky and Max Rosenberg. As the horror genre grew in popularity due to the success of Hammer films, Amicus saw the potential in the portmanteau format. Subotsky in particular held Ealing Studios 1945 classic Dead of Night in very high regard. Although only a modest budget movie, Dr. Terror's House of Horrors proved to be financially successful and led to a series of similarly structured films over the next decade. These included Torture Garden (1967), The House That Dripped Blood (1970), Asylum (1972), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), From Beyond the Grave (1974),
Ghost Story is a deliberately superficial adaptation of the novel by Peter Straub. If you’ve read the book and are expecting a verbatim retelling of the plot, then you will be disappointed. It’s complex narrative structure and the abundance of characters do not immediately lend themselves to mainstream film making. However, if you like tales of the supernatural and solid performances from Hollywood legends, then this may well be for you. John Irvin has always been a workman like director and has therefore often been overlooked. Films such as Hamburger Hill and When Trumpets Fade show a great deal of focus and a clear understanding of the mechanics of cinema.
The Ruins is similar to both The Mist and Cloverfield , which were released around the same time, in so far that it is rather bleak and unrelenting movie. And like the aforementioned films, its strength lies in the manner in which it tackles the subject of people facing their own death in a credible fashion. In The Ruins the protagonists when faced with the prospect of their own demise quickly descend in to panic and resolutely refuse to face facts. Although these are negative themes that may not be to everyone’s tastes, they make The Ruins both gripping and genuinely scary.
Pot Plants
A week or so prior to Christmas, I bought a succulent in a decorative penguin pot. To be honest it was the pot that initially attracted me. I placed it on the window sill of my office to add some character. It resides next to a fossilised ammonite shell, my wallet, a small pot that has my door keys in it and a tortoise ornament. In the New Year, I bought a cactus and placed it at the other end of the window sill. I have a habit of naming various items in my home. Hence the cactus and succulent are known respectively as Burke and Hare. I won’t waste your time trying to explain how my mind works. I’m not usually the sort of person that likes an excess of clutter but I like the fact that the window sill has some degree of ornamentation. It makes what is essentially a functional room, a little more personal.
Burke
A week or so prior to Christmas, I bought a succulent in a decorative penguin pot. To be honest it was the pot that initially attracted me. I placed it on the window sill of my office to add some character. It resides next to a fossilised ammonite shell, my wallet, a small pot that has my door keys in it and a tortoise ornament. In the New Year, I bought a cactus and placed it at the other end of the window sill. I have a habit of naming various items in my home. Hence the cactus and succulent are known respectively as Burke and Hare. I won’t waste your time trying to explain how my mind works. I’m not usually the sort of person that likes an excess of clutter but I like the fact that the window sill has some degree of ornamentation. It makes what is essentially a functional room, a little more personal.
Eight months later, I am somewhat amazed that these two plants are still alive. I have watered them infrequently, mainly because I keep forgetting to do so. However, I think more through luck than judgement, I have treated them in a manner that is appropriate for their species. However, when dusting the window sill the other day, it occurred to me that they have grown somewhat and more than likely need to be repotted. As I am not a genocidal maniac by default, I decided in a fit of good humour to relocate Burke and Hare to more suitable accommodation. I was curious to see if I extended some degree of care, how much longer they would live and how big would they grow etc. Oh, the folly of hubris.
I mentioned that I was going to transplant my plants to Mrs P and she kindly bought me a new ornamental pot. She only managed to get one at the time. So today we went back to the garden centre and I bought another identical ornamental pot. In a fit of enthusiasm I also bought a small bag of potting mix that is suitable for both plants. I say small, it was 3 litres which is far more than I need. As it was getting near lunchtime, we left and I was feeling somewhat pleased with myself. However, that was all to change because like most things done on a whim, I hadn’t thought it through. Later in the afternoon, I decided to watch a couple of YouTube videos so I didn’t make any crass errors when it came to repotting Burke and Hare. Sadly, after watching the first video it became abundantly clear that I had already done so.
Hare
It turns out that both plants need to be in a suitably sized plant container with drainage holes at the bottom. These brown plastic pots are then placed inside the fancy, ornamental pots which serve a purely aesthetic purpose. I’m sure this is obvious to gardeners and people running cannabis farms but it really didn't occur to me. So I then had to measure the ornamental pots to ensure that I bought the correct size of inner pots. I managed to trackdown some that are 8.5 centimetres wide and 7 centimetres high. The catch was the minimum amount I could buy on Amazon was 10. Next I noticed on the YouTube videos that people often cover the potting mix with a small layer of decorative stones. Apparently this keeps insects from making a home in the soil. Again Amazon wanted to sell me an excessive quantity. I ended up buying a kilogram of the stuff.
It is now Sunday evening. For the present Burke and Hare remain in their old pots. So far a total of £27 has been spent in an attempt to relocate them. Hopefully the outstanding items purchased from Amazon will arrive tomorrow and I can attempt repotting in the evening. In the meantime, I’ve been watching more YouTube videos and have discovered further logistical issues that I will need to address. The biggest being how do you lift a cactus out of its pot without sustaining multiple injuries. So far I’ve been advised to use either bubble wrap or a pair of oven gloves. No wonder I have never previously been interested in gardening. This entire episode is a textbook example of what happens when you do things without prior research and a comprehensive plan. Nothing is ever easy. Furthermore, there are no such things as cheap hobbies.
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
More British Slang Words and Phrases
About a year ago, I wrote a post about British slang words and phrases. Using fifteen examples, I endeavoured to explain their definition, provenance and the context in which they are commonly used. I then provided an example sentence of each word or phrase for reference. This proved such a popular post (it didn’t), that I thought it would be beneficial if I gave some further examples (Again I didn’t. I just needed to write a quick blog post, with minimal effort). So here is another selection of slang words and phrases that are used in common parlance in the UK, for your amusement, edification and consideration. Some are relatively self explanatory. Others are somewhat tenuous and arcane in their origins.
Manor is a UK slang term for turf or territory
About a year ago, I wrote a post about British slang words and phrases. Using fifteen examples, I endeavoured to explain their definition, provenance and the context in which they are commonly used. I then provided an example sentence of each word or phrase for reference. This proved such a popular post (it didn’t), that I thought it would be beneficial if I gave some further examples (Again I didn’t. I just needed to write a quick blog post, with minimal effort). So here is another selection of slang words and phrases that are used in common parlance in the UK, for your amusement, edification and consideration. Some are relatively self explanatory. Others are somewhat tenuous and arcane in their origins.
All Right: A generic greeting that is used between friends and acquaintances. The standard response is to say “all right” back. It is not an invitation to say no and then list in detail all the reasons why you’re not all right. “All right Colin”. “All right Geoff”.
Dodgy: A person or object that is questionable or suspect in some fashion. The guy down the pub who sells stolen gear out of his van is what you’d call dodgy. Food can also be so. “Blimey Colin, you stink. Was that kabab you had last night dodgy?”
Faffing About: To waste precious time, expending an excessive amount of effort on a relatively simple task. “Oi Colin, stop faffing about. How long does it take to put on a clean duvet cover?”
Innit: A contraction of the phrase “isn't it” or “is it not”. Often used in a rhetorical fashion at the end of a sentence. Similar to how a bellicose American would say “Am I right?”
Jake the Peanut: A loud, brash, over confident person (usually a man) who suffers from the Dunning-Kruger effect. The same as Jack the Lad, Charlie Potato and Billy Big Bollocks. “Look at Colin with his Ray-Bans and corduroy flares. He thinks he’s Jake the Peanut”.
Kip: To sleep. “Colin, don’t forget to put some cream on the cat’s piles. I’m gonna have a kip for an hour”.
Leo Sayer’d: To be intoxicated by alcohol and sing in a high pitched manner, similar to the popular vocalist Leo Sayer.
Mate: An informal term of respect used when addressing a man or woman without using their name. Used instead of the more formal sir or madam. “Oi mate. You can’t park there”.
Muppet: An informal noun for stupid or foolish person. “Colin, flush the toilet after using it, you muppet”.
Pissed: To be intoxicated by alcohol. Not angry as in the US sense of the word. “Colin’s well pissed after that bottle of floor polish”.
Skive: To avoid work or duty by leaving early. “Where’s Colin? Has he skived off down the pub?”
Slag Off: To talk to someone in a deliberately rude or derogatory fashion. “Why are you always slagging off Colin?”
Taking the Piss: To mock or make fun of. “Colin’s fed up with everyone constantly taking the piss out of him”.
Wee Stooshie: A Scottish term for a small brawl. A difference of opinion that ends in violence. Often fueled by alcohol. “I see Colin had a wee stooshie with the Salvation Army band that were playing in the High Street”.
The English language is constantly evolving and as a result, words continuously come and go from the national lexicon. It can be argued that you can ascertain a person’s age by some of the phrases and slang that they use. Possibly their respective socioeconomic group as well. Posh folk (by which I mean the monied and titled upper classes) do seem to have a completely separate dialect. As do the under twenty fives but that has always been the case. As for the above words and phrases, I would hazard a guess that readers from Australia and New Zealand will find similarities between UK slang and their own. Europeans, who are often multilingual, will probably be likely to adapt to the curious foibles of colloquial English. As ever, please feel free to leave your thoughts below and share any interesting phrases or expressions of your own.
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
Coronary Heart Disease
This morning I had an appointment at the Cardiology Outpatients clinic at St. Thomas’ Hospital, in Southwark, London. The hospital, located across the Thames from the Houses of Parliament, is easily accessible from three nearby tube stations (subway), one major train station and numerous buses. As well as having an extensive A&E department, St. Thomas’ also provides a broad range of healthcare services such as maternal medicine, gastrointestinal surgery, ophthalmology, pain medicine and plastic surgery. The hospital specialises in cardiovascular care and was the first to perform a mitral valve replacement on a beating heart. It is also home to nursing and surgical colleges. The current site has served community needs since 1871. The hospital has existed in some shape or form since the 12th century. There is a pleasant ornamental garden outside the main entrance that overlooks the river and Lambeth bridge.
This morning I had an appointment at the Cardiology Outpatients clinic at St. Thomas’ Hospital, in Southwark, London. The hospital, located across the Thames from the Houses of Parliament, is easily accessible from three nearby tube stations (subway), one major train station and numerous buses. As well as having an extensive A&E department, St. Thomas’ also provides a broad range of healthcare services such as maternal medicine, gastrointestinal surgery, ophthalmology, pain medicine and plastic surgery. The hospital specialises in cardiovascular care and was the first to perform a mitral valve replacement on a beating heart. It is also home to nursing and surgical colleges. The current site has served community needs since 1871. The hospital has existed in some shape or form since the 12th century. There is a pleasant ornamental garden outside the main entrance that overlooks the river and Lambeth bridge.
I was at the hospital to have a stress echocardiogram. Two years ago I was diagnosed with coronary arteriosclerosis and this was a routine test to determine if there were any significant changes in my condition. Stress echocardiography is a test that uses ultrasound imaging to show how well your heart muscle is working to pump blood to your body while physical, pharmacological, or electrical stress is applied to the heart. In my case I was given the drug atropine to increase my heart rate, while I squeezed a pair of stress balls. The procedure took about an hour and was a little uncomfortable towards the end, due to the elevated heart rate. Fortunately, the results of the test showed only a minor progression of my ongoing heart disease, which can be managed within my current treatment strategy. The results have been sent to my local GP and I may or may not have my dosage of bisoprolol (beta blocker) increased.
There is absolutely nothing unusual about a man of my age (56) having coronary arteriosclerosis. It is a result of your heart's blood supply being blocked or interrupted by a build-up of fatty substances in the coronary arteries. Over time, the walls of the arteries can become furred up with fatty deposits. Furthermore, heart disease of this kind is caused by lifestyle factors, such as diet, smoking and regularly drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. Due to the fact that processed foods make up a substantial part of our diets nowadays, heart disease is very common in the UK. At present, there are around 7.6 million people living with heart and circulatory diseases. This statistic includes everything from conditions that are inherited, to those that develop later in life, such as coronary heart disease, atrial fibrillation, heart failure, stroke and vascular dementia. Here is some further information from the British Heart Foundation.
Around 4 million males and 3.6 million females are living with heart and circulatory diseases in the UK.
We estimate that in the UK more than half of us will get a heart or circulatory condition in our lifetime.
Around twice as many people are living with heart and circulatory diseases in the UK than with cancer and Alzheimer’s disease combined.
Heart and circulatory diseases cause around a quarter (27 per cent) of all deaths in the UK; that's more than 170,000 deaths a year, or 480 each day – one every three minutes.
Around 49,000 people under the age of 75 in the UK die from heart and circulatory diseases each year.
Whenever discussing medical matters, it is important to maintain an appropriate sense of perspective. Since the British Heart Foundation was established in 1961,the annual number of deaths from heart and circulatory diseases in the UK has fallen by nearly half. The UK is at the forefront of heart disease research and the NHS has a proven track record of diagnosing and treating it. I have found over the last two years that coronary arteriosclerosis is entirely manageable. A few sensible changes in diet and lifestyle, along with some common place medicines help maintain the status quo. I take the following tablets each day. Bisoprolol (25mg), atorvastatin (40mg) and aspirin (75mg). As a result, I can still pursue all the same activities that I always have. Sometimes I have to adjust the pace at which I do things and any activity at floor level is challenging but you simply develop techniques to work around these.
I am very fortunate that I live in the UK and as such medical treatment is free at the point of use. The only costs I have to pay for are my prescription fees, which are subsidised. My medication is supplied bi-monthly and I am charged a flat fee £9.90 per item. Hence I pay £19.80 for the bisoprolol and atorvastatin. I buy aspirin “over the counter” as they are cheaper that way. The only other aspect of my ongoing healthcare is a weight loss regime which is very much a work in progress. I say this because to celebrate the positive results of today’s test, I ended up at our local Italian restaurant, which may seem somewhat contradictory to my ongoing medical needs. However, as my heart consultant pointed out, preventative healthcare is about adjusting and managing lifestyles and not necessarily abandoning them by default. Everything in moderation, including moderation, as Oscar Wilde said.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
This morning I had an appointment at the Cardiology Outpatients clinic at St. Thomas’ Hospital, in Southwark, London. The hospital, located across the Thames from the Houses of Parliament, is easily accessible from three nearby tube stations (subway), one major train station and numerous buses. As well as having an extensive A&E department, St. Thomas’ also provides a broad range of healthcare services such as maternal medicine, gastrointestinal surgery, ophthalmology, pain medicine and plastic surgery. The hospital specialises in cardiovascular care and was the first to perform a mitral valve replacement on a beating heart. It is also home to nursing and surgical colleges. The current site has served community needs since 1871. The hospital has existed in some shape or form since the 12th century. There is a pleasant ornamental garden outside the main entrance that overlooks the river and Lambeth bridge.
Accidents will happen, as Elvis Costello astutely pointed out. Furthermore they often occur in the most innocuous of fashions, as I shall now tell. Myself and Mrs P were over our local park today with our two and a half year old grandson Oscar. It is located directly behind our home and has a small children’s play area as well as various adult exercise equipment. One of these items is a low, wooden ramp whose highest end is no more than eighteen inches off the ground. Oscar likes to climb on this, run to the end and jump. Naturally, he did this today when we visited. Mrs P then followed suit (at his request) and stepped off onto the soft, child safe surface. Her right knee gave way and she fell over. Despite the short distance and the soft surface, the fall was sufficient to injure her knee, as there was an audible crack. She subsequently could not get up on her own and I had to assist her so she could sit on the aforementioned ramp.
I weighed myself this morning before writing this post. As of 6:05 AM today I weigh 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). To give this data some sort of context I am 5’11 tall and 54 years old. Prior to my more recent weight gain, I have had an athletic build for most of my life. During my twenties and thirties, while I was still a smoker, my weight stayed around 133 lbs. When I quit my 30 a day cigarette habit I gained about 14 lbs or so over the following months and then stayed at that weight for a further decade. Even with the onset of middle age my weight has not been excessive and my build has accommodated any gain quite well. It has only been over the last 5 years that it has increased to a level that I consider to be neither flattering or healthy. This was brought home to me a few days ago when I saw my reflection in a mirror while on holiday. The incident has given me pause for thought and galvanised me to take action.
Very few people had a “good” 2020. I won’t bore you with a list of my personal woes as I’m sure you have plenty of your own. Plus everything is relative. We shouldn’t compare apples with oranges. Like many people, I now find myself fatigued by the ongoing global events and the conspicuous absence of normality. I like to consider myself quite a robust person. I have endured difficult times in the past and have come through them by remaining calm and focused. However, the nebulous and seemingly never ending nature of the global pandemic is extremely wearing. Let it suffice to say that I feel singularly unmotivated at present. Writing, which is usually a great pleasure, is currently a chore. I am also troubled by something that I personally find most unusual. A sense of sadness. And it doesn’t seem to want to go away.
To begin with, I am not claiming to be living with “chronic” pain in this blog post. I am fully aware of the definition of the term and am fortunate that my current injury does not force me to endure such levels of discomfort. However, my recent experience has provided me with a new insight into something that most of us only notionally know about and have little or no true understanding. I believe I appreciate my Mother’s daily circumstances a lot better now (as well as several friends and colleagues who also live with chronic pain) and finally understand how debilitating both physically and mentally living in constant and acute pain can be. Hence I decided to write this piece. To share my experience with an injury that continuously hurts and to help inform others about the realities of living with chronic pain. Sometimes you need to experience something first hand to fully get the measure of it.
It’s hard to write about ones own personal health issues and how one addresses them without coming across as smug, sanctimonious or oblivious to the fact that it’s all relative. I wrote back in early March about how I was going to try and get my “house in order” by losing weight and also undertaking the NHS Health Check. A six weeks on and progress is being made. However, I would just like to re-iterate that what has proven to work for me, may not do so for others. We all have our own unique relationship with our own health and therefore there is a need to find ways that work for us as individuals. Therefore my dietary regime which seems some what easy to me, may prove to be far too draconian for others. Similarly my exercise targets are also suited to my temperament and limitations. But I hope that by sharing my progress I can at least provide some encouragement to others.
Personal health as a concept, refers to your overall well-being both physically and mentally. It is about taking charge of your health by making a conscious decision to improve and maintain it. It not only refers to your physical state but the respective wellness of the emotional, intellectual and even spiritual aspects of your life. Sadly it is something that many of us are not very good at dealing with or choose to ignore. All too often good intentions get sidelined by the realities of life. Sadly, physical and mental issues are usually only addressed after something bad has occurred. Furthermore, much of the most basic and practical information needed to improve our personal health is drowned out by the white noise of fads, quackery and those seeking to sell you a “solution”.
Today I visited Emmetts Garden in Sevenoaks. The Edwardian estate located at Ide Hill and is now owned by the National Trust for Places of Historic Interest or Natural Beauty. The garden, which covers an area of about six acres, is situated on a 600-foot sandstone ridge, overlooking the Weald. It is one of the highest points in Kent, offering an expansive view of the North Downs. The garden was laid out in the late 19th century and was influenced by William Robinson. It contains many exotic rare trees and shrubs from across the world. You can explore the rose and rock gardens, take in the views as well as enjoy flowers and shrubs in spring. In autumn visitors can enjoy the vibrant colours brought about by the changing of the season. The main attraction at this time of year are the Bluebells.
Gaming and personal health at first glance appear to be mutually exclusive subjects. News coverage about these issues more often than not implies that gaming is detrimental to both ones physical and mental well-being. Apart from titles that utilise motion sensing devices such as the Kinnect and require the player to physically move, gaming is a sedentary pastime. Combine that with a society that has an already broken relationship with food and their own personal health in general and there is scope for a wealth of medical problems.
No Blade of Grass (1970)
During the seventies, the growing environmental concerns of the general public were beginning to appear as plot themes in both mainstream and independent film making. The science fiction genre proved the most practical medium for this with films such as Zero Population growth and Soylent Green. Cornel Wilde’s No Blade of Grass takes a different approach using an ecological disaster as the premise for a survival movie. As with Wilde’s previous movies The Naked Prey and Beach Red, the message is delivered clearly and with all the subtlety of a kick in the groin. Yet the director’s honesty carries weight as he boldly depicts how the trappings of modern civilisation are quickly stripped away in the face of impending disaster. Perhaps it was this candour that upset sections of the viewing public, who didn’t wish to confront the fragility of their own society or dwell upon their own potential for violence. Certainly the film’s distributor MGM were sufficiently bothered by what they saw, that they re-edited the movie prior to release to tone down some of the stronger content.
During the seventies, the growing environmental concerns of the general public were beginning to appear as plot themes in both mainstream and independent film making. The science fiction genre proved the most practical medium for this with films such as Zero Population growth and Soylent Green. Cornel Wilde’s No Blade of Grass takes a different approach using an ecological disaster as the premise for a survival movie. As with Wilde’s previous movies The Naked Prey and Beach Red, the message is delivered clearly and with all the subtlety of a kick in the groin. Yet the director’s honesty carries weight as he boldly depicts how the trappings of modern civilisation are quickly stripped away in the face of impending disaster. Perhaps it was this candour that upset sections of the viewing public, who didn’t wish to confront the fragility of their own society or dwell upon their own potential for violence. Certainly the film’s distributor MGM were sufficiently bothered by what they saw, that they re-edited the movie prior to release to tone down some of the stronger content.
Based on John Christopher’s novel The Death of Grass published in 1956, No Blade of Grass starts with a new strain of virus that has devastated the rice crops in Asia causing a major regional famine. Soon a mutation appears in Europe infecting all types of grasses including all grain crops. The subsequent food shortages rapidly lead to social disorder, looting and possibly even cannibalism. The UK parliament start to consider desperate measures to cope with the situation. Architect and war veteran John Custance (Nigel Davenport) decides to flee London along with his wife Ann (Jean Wallace), young son Davey, teenage daughter Mary (Lyn Fredrick) and her scientist boyfriend Roger Burnham (John Hamill). They intend to travel to Westmorland in Cumbria where John's Brother, David (Patrick Holt), has a farm. Many trials and tribulations beset them as they travel north and the group quickly find themselves having to adapt both physically and morally to a rapidly changing and hostile world.
John Custance is an archetypal alpha male and embodiment of the British officer class. He is pragmatic and is quick to adapt to the deteriorating situation. But he has moral and ethical limits. So when he forms a curious relationship with a young man called Pirrie (Anthony May), it is for a very specific reason. Pirrie is a sociopath who will happily turn a gun on anyone that impedes the ongoing plan. John determines he’s a necessary tool who can do some tasks that he may balk at. This becomes very clear when we first meet Pirrie at the local gun shop where he works. He doesn’t hesitate to shoot his boss and throw in his lot with John Custance when he learns of his plan to leave London. It is this initial instance of lawlessness that marks the families rapid moral decline. Later, after having been robbed themselves, the Custance family kill a couple in a farmhouse who refuse to give them shelter. “We have to fight to live, do you understand that?” John tells his young son and his friend. “Like the Westerns?” one replies. “Yes, like that”.
No Blade of Grass is very heavy handed with its themes and moral pronunciations. At the start of the film, the affluent dine in a restaurant while a news report on TV shows the realities of the ongoing famines elsewhere in the world. There are montages of stock footage showing pollution and sick animals to hammer home the message that this is a self-inflicted catastrophe. But like the director’s other films there is an earnestness to the proceedings. Sadly this gets somewhat lost in along the way due to the film’s exploitation trappings. There are numerous shootouts between civilians and the Army as well as other acts of violence. And then there’s a gratuitous double rape. The movie even manages to include footage of a real childbirth before a climactic battle between our group of survivors and a motorcycle gang, complete with Viking helmets. Wilde also uses flashforwards as well as flashbacks, colour filters and slow motion to make his point. There is even a bleak but charming folk song performed by Roger Whittaker that plays over the start and end credits.
Violence is a reoccurring theme in all of Cornel Wilde’s films. As a director he often depicts that violence is key to survival and can galvanise people into action to forge something greater. However it can also lead to self-destruction and comes at a cost. John Custance learns that there is a price to pay for collaborating with the likes of Pirrie and that often manifests itself as human collateral damage. Social collapse and the realities of returning to a neo-feudal existence do not seem to be compatible with John’s old-world principles and ideals. His attempts to “preserve the heritage of man’s greatness” bear little fruit at the end of the film. He secures a safe place to live in the remote North of England but it takes a great deal of slaughter to do so. Furthermore the motley group of survivors he picks up along the way still harbour all the flaws of the old world, such as racial prejudice, greed and notions of exceptionalism. No Blade of Grass is a clumsy and somewhat lurid piece of film making. It certainly won’t be to everyone’s taste yet it is an interesting curiosity.
College Professor Peter Proud (Michael Sarrazin) has a recurring dream about a man swimming on a lake late at night. A woman named Marcia (Margot Kidder) paddles a small boat out to meet him. As the man tries to climb aboard, Marcia hits him with an oar and he drowns. Perplexed and disturbed, Peter approaches Doctor Sam Goodman (Paul Hecht) who is conducting research into sleep at the College. He conducts several tests which prove that Peter’s experiences are not registering as dreams. The Doctor suggests that they’re hallucinations but Peter theorises that they may be memories of a past life. A chance viewing of a TV documentary about Massachusetts, triggers further memories, so Peter decides to go an investigate. He subsequently learns that the man in his visions is a former Tennis coach, Jeff Curtis, who died in the late 1940s under mysterious circumstances. Is Peter the reincarnation of this man? If so, didn’t he have a daughter, Ann (Jennifer O’Neil). Furthermore is Marcia, Ann’s mother, still alive?
Mainstream films are easy to recommend to people. They’re usually formulaic, work within clear parameters and they’re not controversial. Most people, when viewing such film on someone else’s suggestion, are left with a fairly simply choice. Did they like it or not? Whatever the outcome, no feathers are ruffled. No one looks at you askance afterwards and says “why the hell did you think I’d like that piece of shit”? If something like this happens, then you have clearly not recommended a mainstream film. Perhaps you’ve suggested something that’s a little more of an acquired taste. Something niche, from a very specific sub-genre. Which brings me neatly to Blazing Magnum AKA Strange Shadows in an Empty Room (1976). The US title gives the impression that this film is a hard boiled cop thriller, like so many others that followed in the wake of Dirty Harry. But there’s a clue in the European title. Yes, this movie has more than just a whiff of a giallo about it.
In the year 1860, Baron Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing) faces execution by guillotine for the murders perpetrated by the creature he created. With the assistance of a hunchback named Karl (Oscar Quitak) he avoids death by beheading the priest who came to give him the last rites. The priest’s body is then mistakenly buried by the authorities. Three years later, Victor, now using the name Doctor Stein, has established himself as a prosperous physician in Karlsbrück, serving both affluent patients and the poor at a paupers’ hospital. Hans Kleve (Francis Matthews), a junior member of the medical council, recognises Victor and being an admirer, seeks to become his apprentice. Victor and Hans then undertake an experiment to transplant Karl’s living brain into a new, more refined body, rather than a grotesque monstrosity the Baron has previously made. Karl is eager to have a new healthy body, especially after encountering Margaret Conrad (Eunice Gayson), the charming new assistant at the hospital.
This movie questionnaire was originally created by Alexander from Cinemaniac Reviews. Sadly, I believe that website is now defunct. However, that doesn’t in anyway invalidate the questionnaire itself which has some very good questions about your relationship with cinema. Some of my answers to the questions posed are about films that I enjoy, as opposed to those that are considered cinematic classics. However, I have answered some questions more seriously than others, especially the one about undeserving recipients of the Best Film Oscar. I struggled with a couple of questions because I no longer go the cinema as frequently as I did 10 years ago. This is mainly due to the fact that a lot of the films I find interesting end up going straight to streaming after very brief theatrical releases. Some do not even get shown in cinemas. Hence I view far more at home. But I digress. On with the questions and answers. Feel free to comment below and share your views.
Exit 8 is a sophisticated and claustrophobic psychological thriller directed by Genki Kawamura, which skilfully transforms a minimalist indie walking-simulator game into a cinematic existential enigma. This overtly metaphorical film renders the repetitive nature and drudgery of modern working life into a physical environment in which the lead character is trapped and must find a way out. A random, brutal maze filled with an atmosphere of indifference to the lab rats that find themselves trapped within. Or is it their personal guilt that has put them there? Genki Kawamura’s psychological mystery draws inspiration from the Japanese video game of the same name, as well as from the cyclical nature of Groundhog Day and endless corridors of the Overlook Hotel in Kubrick’s The Shining. Although there are jump scares and some ghoulish imagery, this is not a horror vehicle. Instead this is a disquieting psychological drama with a strong sense of morality.
I wrote a post 18 month’s ago regarding whether a directors cut of a film is superior by default to the version originally shown in cinemas. Obviously the answer was no and I then went on to give three examples of films where I think the theatrical release is better to lengthier or substantially altered director’s cut that was subsequently made available at a later date. This time round in this post, I would like to do the complete opposite. I shall provide some examples of films that I think are significantly improved by a longer cut or a substantially, restructured edit. Note some of these examples are technically not a “director’s cuts” but a restoration or reconstruction of the director’s original vision. I shall endeavour to highlight what specific material or broader changes make each respective film “better”. As ever, all of these examples are a matter of subjective opinion and my views are presented as such, not “fact”.
In 1968 the dilapidated freighter Corita hastily leaves Freetown to avoid a customs inspection. Captain Lansen (Eric Porter) has a cargo of dangerous explosives which he is smuggling so he can finally retire. His ship’s passengers also have reasons for leaving in a hurry. Dr. Webster (Nigel Stock), together with his daughter Unity (Suzanna leigh), is relocating due to his indiscretions with patients and illegal operations. Alcoholic pianist Harry Tyler (Tony Beckley) is aimlessly drifting from port to port. Eva Peters (Hildegard Knef) is fleeing from her husband with stolen bearer bonds which she intend to use to buy back her son from his evil clutches Caracas. Ricaldi (Ben Carruthers), a questionable lawyer, is pursuing Eva to retrieve the stolen bonds. First officer Hemmings (Neil McCallum) suggests that the ship should return to Freetown after an imminent Hurricane warning. The Captain asks the passengers and they are unanimous that they do not wish to return. However a mutinous crew, the bad weather and the instability of the explosives force everyone to abandon ship. The survivors find themselves adrift in a lifeboat surrounded by a strange carnivorous seaweed.
Jason Statham is an exemplar of the US mantra of “staying in your lane”. He makes action movies and occasionally strays into action comedies. His formula broadly works and is sufficiently lucrative to keep Mr. Statham employed. Therefore, if you watch a film in which he stars, you have a fairly good idea of what you’ll be getting. Of late, the criteria for his action vehicles have become more succinct. Jason Statham will play an innocuous character, such as a construction foreman or a bee keeper. Something terrible will subsequently befall another character who Mr. Statham has an emotional connection with in some capacity. He will subsequently hunt down those responsible and meet out death and violence. At some point the villain of the story will enquire as to how this innocuous person is so lethal. Research will then show that our Jason is in fact an ex-police officer/special forces operative/international assassin. There’s then a showdown and the villain dies. Job done.
The Light at the Edge of the World presented itself as an action movie upon its release in 1971. Based upon a story by Jules Verne, the Spanish American co-production was driven by its star Kirk Douglas, who curiously hired British director Kevin Billington to helm the project. This tale of a lighthouse keeper fighting a war of attrition against a group of pirates that have captured his island, was market as an adventure film ostensibly in the idiom of the authors previous works and as a pirate movie. MGM bought the rights to distribute the film in the UK on the misunderstanding that it was a family friendly production. It was not and remains so. They subsequently had to cut 15 minutes of violence and torture as well as an undercurrent of sexual assault to secure a suitable rating. Conversely, the US distributors received an arbitrary PG rating, despite the fact this is one of a handful of films that honestly depicts pirates as murderers, rapists and worse.
It’s an established action film trope. The fire team comprised of ex-military personnel, move in on their target. Only to have the tables turned by someone they don’t deem a threat. What makes it different in The Last Stand of Ellen Cole is a throwaway line of dialogue. The bested operative lies bleeding on the floor and the protagonists stands over them ready to finish them off. “Don’t, I have a cat” they feebly plead. For me that was the icing on the cake. The movie had already established it was taking the “same old, same old” and doing something different. Something fun, if taken in the right spirit. This scene tipped the balance and I embraced this film because it was being honest about what it is. This is a modern B movie that decides to give a very specific sub-genre a makeover. Furthermore, its clearly done with an affectionate wink, which is very different to sly wink. This isn’t deliberate self-knowing irony. Its just a film doing something different and possibly silly but it genuinely wants to have fun with it.
David Koepp is no stranger to genre cinema, having written the screenplay for such films as Jurassic Park, Spider-man and War of the Worlds. Where these titles are big budget, major studio productions, Cold Storage is a far more modest production with a smaller scope. Adapted from his own novel, the screenplay is by David Koepp and the film is directed by British film-maker Jonny Campbell. At first glance, Cold Storage seems a somewhat derivative science fiction horror film with a relatively modest budget, financed through a convoluted US and French co-production. Lurid green and red colours feature heavily in the marketing artwork and it is easy, after a cursory look, to write the film off as cheap, generic, direct-to-streaming filler. However, Cold Storage is prime example of why you should not judge a book by it’s cover, or in this case, a film by its posters and online advertising. It is in fact an amusing and fun endeavour that can fill an evening.
Despite being considered by many as an original story, The Abominable Snowman (1957) is in fact a remake of a made for television play, The Creature, that was originally broadcast in the UK in 1955. Hammer Films would often purchase the rights of popular TV programs and subsequently re-work them for mainstream, international cinema. Larger production budgets and fewer censorship restrictions allowed them to make their cinematic interpretations more lurid, thus commercially viable. Hence The Quatermass Xperiment, Quatermass II and Quatermass and the Pit were all given a big screen makeover and were commercially successful. The Abominable Snowman was written by acclaimed writer Nigel Kneale, who also wrote the original television drama and the aforementioned Quatermass trilogy. Although ostensibly marketed as a horror film this production is actually an interesting blend of psychological thriller and science fiction.
There are certain subjects that are notoriously uncinematic. These tend to be things that exist or are undertaken mainly in the mind, rather than expressed in an overtly physical way. Computing, science and mathematics are good examples. Writing code or working out complex equations does not immediately lend themselves to a visual medium such as cinema. Therefore, any film dealing with the world of corporate finance has its work cut out. Hence writer-director J C Chandor immediately deserves praise for making Margin Call, a film about the financial crash of 2008, as gripping and compelling as any political thriller. He does this by keeping the financial elements of the story to a minimum, choosing instead to focus upon those who have become aware of the imminent crisis and their reaction to it. However, the film remains a tough watch with regard to the some of the characters and their respective personal morality or lack there of.
The 1937 Hindenburg disaster has remained an enduring mystery over the years. The physical mechanics of how this airship filled with 7,000,000 cubic feet of hydrogen gas caught fire has been fully explored over the decades and there are now several extremely plausible theories as to how it may have happened. However, there remains the possibility of sabotage. As such an idea has more dramatic potential than mechanical failure, it was used as the central theme of the 1975 disaster movie The Hindenburg. Directed by Robert Wise, the screenplay by Nelson Gidding explores a German resistance against the Nazi regime. The airship is targeted as it is a powerful propaganda symbol for Hitler’s Germany. Sadly despite some interesting ideas, a strong cast and solid, old school optical effects, The Hindenburg is a slow and somewhat ponderous production. Although the final 20 minutes of the film recreate the infamous explosion meticulously, it doesn’t quite compensate for the uneventful, dialogue driven investigation of the previous 100 minutes.
On the Eastern Front in 1943, a German Tiger tank crew led by Lieutenant Philip Gerkens (David Schütter) is sent on a mission to rescue the missing officer Paul von Hardenburg (Tilman Strauss) from a top-secret bunker that is at risk of falling into enemy hands. As they make their way through an eerie no-man’s land, they have to avoid Russian armoured vehicles that seem to be aware of their mission. They also encounter a German unit taking punitive action against a peasant village, in reprisal for partisan activity in the area. The youngest crew member, Michel (Yoran Leicher), talks of the land being home to ghosts and spirits. As the tank penetrates further into contested territory the crew become increasingly disturbed by the uncanny nature of their mission and begin to fall prey to their own inner fears.
Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic novel has been adapted for cinema and television numerous times. Perhaps the most well known is the 1950 Disney version, starring Robert Newton as Long John Silver. His eye rolling performance and exaggerated West Country accent is credited with popularising the stereotypical form of “pirate speech" that has become the pop culture default. Although an enjoyable film, it does gloss over the more sinister aspects of both the source text and history, perpetuating the myth that pirates are just loveable scoundrels. Many subsequent adaptations have fallen into the same trap to a greater or lesser degree. However, that is not the case with the 1990 version of Treasure island, which was made for the TNT cable network and released theatrically outside of the US. This darker and notably more violent adaptation closely follows the source text and is widely considered the most faithful to the book.
The Planet of the Apes movie franchise took a radical change of course with its third entry in the series. The first two films were set in the future and benefited from high production values to help realise a post apocalyptic earth. However, due to a substantial reduction of budget, Escape from the Planet of the Apes uses a time travel plot device to bring the ape protagonists to present day Los Angeles (1971 in this case). The result is a film with a much smaller narrative scope. However, although it lacks the science fiction spectacle of its predecessors, it features an interesting satirical exploration of celebrity culture and ponders what it is like to be deemed an enemy of the state. As ever, Roddy McDowell and Kim Hunter provide exceptional lead performances as the Chimpanzees Cornelius and Zira. Escape from the Planet of the Apes also captures the pop culture vibe of seventies America.
It is not unusual for Disney to change film titles when marketing them outside of the US. In 2016 they renamed the animated feature film Zootopia to Zootropolis in the UK and Europe to avoid trademark conflicts with other existing businesses. For example there is a Danish zoo which already holds the “Zootopia” name. Similarly, in Germany there is a children’s book which caused copyright conflict, which led to the film being released under the title Zoomania. Such changes, although practical for legal reasons, can sometimes cause a degree of confusion. Especially as there are numerous, low budget productions companies that go out of their way to produce similarly titled “mockbusters” whenever there are big, tentpole, releases. So for clarity, Zootopia 2 has been released in the UK as Zootropolis 2.
Stephen King’s dystopian story, The Running Man, was previously adapted very loosely in 1987, as a vehicle for Arnold Schwarzenegger. That version focused mainly on the “Battle Royale” element of the story and leaned heavily into Arnie’s personality, rather than the politics of the book. It also wasn’t well received by the author. Edgar Wright’s remake follows the source text a lot more closely and is far more interested in its political themes and wider social commentary. Furthermore, this version re-establishes the everyman quality of the hero of Ben Richards, rather than him being the muscle bound, ex-military hero as per Mr. Schwarzenegger’s prior interpretation. This time round, The Running Man uses a lot of the visual and narrative tropes of contemporary reality TV, making this forty three year old story very relevant to today’s viewers and couching the film in a style that is recognisable and accessible.
The Haunted Dolls House is a short film based on a story by M.R. James about a unique antique that is subject to supernatural phenomenon. Adapted by Stephen Gray and David Lilley, this is the third of three short films based upon James’ work that the pair have made. It stars Steven Dolton as Mr. Dillet, a collector of antique dolls houses, who acquires a bargain only to discover that it harbours a ghostly secret. Made on an extremely modest budget over the course of 2012 this clever, innovative and rather sinister adaptation is a fine example of short film creativity. It manages to offer a unique visual depiction of M.R. James’ classic story whilst capturing the unsettling quality of the author’s work. Like so many independently made short films it is clearly a labour of love, made with modest resources. It succinctly captures the spirit of the author’s work and is both innovative and rewarding.
A lot of people may know Luke Evans from the live action version of Beauty and the Beast or Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit trilogy. With his matinee idol good looks, charming Welsh demeanour and his “smoky” tenor singing voice, he projects a sense of old school stardom. Which brings us to No One Lives; a film which is a radical departure from his previous work. His performance is disconcerting to say the least and the film is somewhat unhinged. Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, who made an interesting adaptation of Clive Barker’s The Midnight Meat Train, this cinematic outing is similarly replete with robust shocks and gore. There are some interesting ideas about the nature of violence, Stockholm Syndrome and whether one should deny or embrace one’s nature. However, these are ultimately minor asides. Philosophical musings in between bouts of surprisingly striking unpleasantness.
In the near future, Kepler 822, a research and drilling facility located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, suffers a sudden and catastrophic structural failure. There are only six survivors. Mechanical engineer Norah Price (Kristen Stewart), Captain Lucien (Vincent Cassel), biologist Emily Haversham (Jessica Henwick), engineer Liam Smith (John Gallagher Jr.) and crew members Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie) and Paul (T.J. Miller). As all the functional escape pods have been used and they are unable to contact the surface, the Captain suggests using pressurized suits to walk one mile across the ocean floor to the Roebuck 641 drill installation. There they will find more escape pods. However, it soon becomes apparent that the disaster was not caused by an undersea earthquake and that they are not alone as they make their journey.
One of the most common objections raised regarding the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World franchise is that the films are specifically made to obtain a PG-13 rating from the Motion Picture Association, for purely commercial reasons. Hence, in all films, there is little on screen violence and the dinosaurs are mainly portrayed as a threat and a means of providing jump scares. When a character is killed by a dinosaur it usually happens off screen, is obscured by something else in frame, or is shown in long shot with very little detail. The realities of being eaten alive by a predator are conspicuously absent. Hence, audiences looking for films featuring more graphic dinosaur attacks, have not been well catered for apart from some minor direct-to-video titles. Primitive War finally fills this gap in the market with a frenetic genre mashup that strives to punch above is budgetary weight.
During the seventies, cinema was not only a source of mass, commercial entertainment but was still perceived as a medium for intellectual and philosophical discourse. Television was a poor relation in terms of art and cultural significance. Film was where the so called auteur director could muse and ruminate upon the nature of the human condition and audiences could subsequently gush sycophantically about their work at dinner parties. Or something like that. Let it suffice to say that some film makers were still indulged by studios and financiers, who were still keen to cash in on the cultural sea change that came to Hollywood in the late sixties. It’s difficult to see how a film such as Emperor of the North (AKA Emperor of the North Pole) could have been made otherwise. A film set in the Great Depression about a hobo illegally travelling on freight trains and his feud with a ruthless conductor.
In Buenos Aires, Clara (Natalia Señorales) hears voices emanating from the plughole in her kitchen sink. The voices seem to be plotting against her. Her husband Juan (Agustín Rittano) says the sounds are coming from next door. That night, Juan finds Clara’s dead body levitating in their bathroom, slamming against the wall by an invisible force. Meanwhile their neighbour, Walter (Demián Salomón), is experiencing supernatural occurrences while he tries to sleep. An invisible force repeatedly shakes his bed. After using a video camera to film these events, he sees a tall, cadaverous figure emerging from under the bed, standing over him as he sleeps. Across the road, Alicia (Julieta Vallina) is grieving for her recently deceased son, who was run over outside Walter’s house. Alicia's ex-boyfriend, police commissioner Funes (Maximiliano Ghione) calls Jano (Norberto Gonzalo), a paranormal investigator and the pair soon discover more supernatural occurrences in the area.
Black Sabbath (AKA I tre volti della paura) is a 1963 horror anthology film directed by Mario Bava. Although an Italian production, the film was co-financed by American International Pictures and as such was conceived to appeal to US audiences. Hence, the English dialogue edit of the film which was released in America differs significantly to the original Italian version. Despite the presence of the legendary Boris Karloff and the popularity of both anthology and gothic horror at the time,the film was only a modest success at the US box office and did not do well in Italy. However, in more recent years there has been a critical reappraisal of Black Sabbath, especially the Italian dialogue version. Many aspects of the film which are standard genre tropes today, were in fact novel at the time. Also despite the production mainly being studio bound, the film oozes style and has a striking visual aesthetic.
After the success of Raiders of the Lost Ark in 1981, filmmakers scrambled to find existing intellectual properties that they could use for similar films. Hence archaic heroes such as Alan Quatermain were hastily given a modern makeover and thrust into generic movies, in a vague attempt to replicate Steven Spielberg’s successful formula. Which brings us neatly on to James Charles Bigglesworth AKA “Biggles”, a fictional pilot and adventurer from a series of books written by W. E. Johns between 1932 and 1968. Several attempts had been made in the past to bring this character to the silver screen, including one by Disney but they all failed. However, the commercial and critical success of Indiana Jones provided sufficient impetus to greenlight a new film. However, due to some curious production choices, when Biggles was finally released it was far from just a period set, action movie.
Setting aside the hubris of remaking a film such as Red Dawn, the 2012 reboot had a troubled production. Shot over the course of late 2009, on location in Michigan, MGM intended to release the film in September 2010. However, the studio’s financial problems became unsustainable over the course of that year and the film was shelved, while a financial solution was sought. Furthermore, while Red Dawn was in post production, there was a major economic shift within Hollywood due to the increasing importance of the Chinese market. This was a significant problem for MGM because the new version of Red Dawn had the Chinese invading the USA instead of Russia. Hence there were reshoots and the need for additional visual effects, so that the Chinese could be replaced with North Koreans. MGM eventually went bankrupt and the distribution rights to Red Dawn were sold off. The film was eventually released in 2012.
Gamergate: Ten years On
Usually 10 year anniversaries are pleasant things to celebrate. Sadly that is not the case with Gamergate, which took place a decade ago this month. For me, this curious and unpleasant debacle was something that happened online and it didn’t impact upon my life directly. I wasn't threatened in any way, I didn't receive a tide of abuse and I didn't have to quit social media or my job. However for some people, that is exactly what did happen. I, like many others, just stood on the margins as events unfolded and looked on, agog as this exquisite car crash of a “movement” that proceeded to shoot itself and the wider gaming community collectively through the foot. It is no coincidence that this happened as gaming was becoming a mainstream pastime and slowly shedding a lot of the negative connotations associated with it. Gamergate purposely arrested that process.
Usually 10 year anniversaries are pleasant things to celebrate. Sadly that is not the case with Gamergate, which took place a decade ago this month. For me, this curious and unpleasant debacle was something that happened online and it didn’t impact upon my life directly. I wasn't threatened in any way, I didn't receive a tide of abuse and I didn't have to quit social media or my job. However for some people, that is exactly what did happen. I, like many others, just stood on the margins as events unfolded and looked on, agog as this exquisite car crash of a “movement” that proceeded to shoot itself and the wider gaming community collectively through the foot. It is no coincidence that this happened as gaming was becoming a mainstream pastime and slowly shedding a lot of the negative connotations associated with it. Gamergate purposely arrested that process.
If you’re not au fait with Gamergate, Wikipedia has a substantive page about the affair that provides a comprehensive overview. To summarise, Gamergate originally claimed to be an informal online campaign that was lobbying for apolitical video games’ journalism. I don't dispute that there were some advocates who were focused on the failings of games journalism at the time but they were quickly drowned out by the bellicose rhetoric of others with a far less pleasant agenda. Gamergate quickly became a decentralised harassment campaign and a clear political backlash against feminism, diversity, representation and any form of progressivism in video game culture and communities. With hindsight and in light of the information that has subsequently come to light, Gamergate was part of the wider culture wars that have been stoked by right in the US for the last twenty years.
There were some positive aspects to Gamergate. Primarily that there was a market for diverse video games and game studios. Also that representation was not an impediment to sales. In fact by embracing such a philosophy you could potentially increase sales. It also proved that video games were not the exclusive prerogative of white males, although so much of the unpleasant pushback came from that group. Gamergate also shone a light upon the video games industry that proved it to be as problematic as any other leisure industry. The workplace was all too often toxic, prejudicial and exploitative. Misogyny was all too common. Gamergate was ultimately no different from comparable debacles that the music, film and TV industries have experienced over the years, highlighting identical problems. Gamergate also afforded many gamers an opportunity to see the entire industry for what it really is. IE Just as flawed as any other.
Ten years on has anything changed as a result of Gamergate? I’d argue no. Gamers are a broad group of people, from multiple socio-economic groups. Apart from the common theme of a shared pastime, it would be illogical to expect there to be a consensus on major political, social and cultural issues. Hence there are gamers that still advocate and enjoy the benefits of inclusive gaming as there are those opposed to such perceived liberalism. At the time, Gamergate was a rude awakening for many gamers who were shocked to find that numerous bloggers, YouTube personalities and internet friends, were not on “the same page” as they were. A decade later, it is not quite so surprising. Many influencers happily wear their hearts on their sleeve and I would argue that it’s a lot easier to identify who is who these days.
Upon reflection Gamergate was an inevitability. Too many gamers for too long erroneously thought that the gaming community was a unique flower. They failed to see that any activity will become a cultural battleground, once it becomes big enough. There appears to be a critical mass for any community and once exceeded, division and rancour always emerge. Perhaps it's just another integral aspect of the human condition. That's not to say that we should give up on pushing for change. The video games industry should be able to accommodate everyone’s needs. However, we need to recognise that big business is seldom a meritocracy. If left to its own devices it will seldom stray beyond the path of least resistance. As for the gamers in favour of Gamergate ten years ago, they’re still out there and their views haven’t changed. If anything they’re more confident and vocal. But that means there is less ambiguity nowadays. To see where someone stands, all one has to do is look.
Today, I met up with some friends in central London. People I’ve known since 1984. Some even longer. I met these particular friends when I went to Orpington College of Further Education to do my A Level exams. We were all sixteen at the time or there about. Orpington College was very different from a conventional school, because it offered a selection of academic courses for students from varying age groups. Hence the environment was the polar opposite to what I had previously experienced. My old school had been very formal with a very traditional approach to teaching and the relationship between pupil and teacher. At Orpington College there was no uniform, so you wore what you wanted. The atmosphere was far more informal and less constrained by rules. Lecturers addressed you by your first name and your academic achievement was very much in your own hands. The only thing that wasn’t tolerated was being disruptive and preventing others from learning.
I recently stopped taking beta blockers after a consultation with my Doctor. Seven weeks on and I feel substantially better without them. I strongly advocate prescription reviews, as often the medication you’re taking does not necessarily need to be taken indefinitely. That was certainly the case with me and beta blockers. At the end of my last consultation, my GP asked me to keep a daily record of my blood pressure for a month. I could either do this at home or come into the surgery where there is a suitable device that is free to use. Fortunately I inherited an old but functional OMRON blood pressure monitor from my parents, so I was able to take readings each morning myself. It was while doing this for a month that it struck me; what exactly does all the data that I’m making note of mean exactly? What do systolic and diastolic mean and what is the difference between them? Also, where my readings good or bad?
I made a throwaway quip yesterday on social media about reaction videos on YouTube. I was specifically complaining about those made about music videos and how there is a growing trend among “content creators” to mute the audio and obscure the video of the very material they are reacting to. This is due to concerns over a copyright strike by the rights holders of the original content and the threat of potential demonetisation to those making the reaction video. What you are left with is 5 minutes of a rather tiresome, charisma vacuum watching a blurred video while listening to “elevator music”. What a world we live in. Why even bother posting such content? If there is any value to be found in reaction videos, then surely it lies in the shared experience of both the person in the video reacting and their viewers?
When I last wrote about the thorny subject of weight loss, I weighed 188 lbs (13 stone 6 lbs or 85.3 kg). That was in Spring 2022. Let it suffice to say the the optimistic health plan I subsequently embarked upon fell apart like a cheap suit, solely due to me not committing to it in any meaningful way. Since then my weight has slowly and steadily increased. I will avoid any long and tortuous explanations and quasi-justifications. I like my food and lots of it. The fact that my lifestyle has contributed to my ill health, is something that I have willingly tolerated. The pleasure outweighed the consequences. However, in early August a tipping point was finally reached. It wasn’t a theatrical epiphany or anything that can be framed dramatically. I simply woke up one morning and said to myself, “I am tired of constantly feeling like shit”.
When I was a child, I quickly learned never to say within earshot of my parents that I was bored. It was quickly met with a response along the lines of “an intelligent mind is never bored” or more worryingly “if you’ve got nothing to do, I’ll find you something” which meant a chore or Herculean task. Being a child of the seventies and due to my parents fundamentalist approach to declarations of boredom, I quickly discovered numerous ways to occupy myself. The default solution was a book or comic. I always liked reading as a child and had plenty of books to choose from. I also had numerous of comics as an alternative to a hefty tome. I would also draw and paint. My father use to work during the summer holidays as a design draftsman and as a result, we always had plenty of paper in our house. Then of course there were toys and such like. Hence I learned the art of keeping myself busy.
When I first started this series of posts back in 2023, they were originally intended to provide a useful overview into UK (mainly British) slang. US slang is ubiquitous globally due to the pervasive nature of American culture. Hence most people have a good grasp of its nuances. However, the proverbial door does not swing both ways. Hence most people will watch British TV dramas or read popular novels and can be quite bamboozled by some of the phrases that are used. That is what I was trying to address. However, over time this entire enterprise now reads like a some sort of Guy Ritchie film with Colin as the anti-hero. That notwithstanding, hopefully the list of slang phrases below will prove useful to know, if you ever visit the UK or tour around London. As ever I have given an example of their respective use. Feel free to ask questions if anything needs clarifying, or you wish to leave a comment with examples of you’re own national and regional slang.
As I write this post, the temperature in Greater London is 33°C (91.4°F). This has become a regular occurrence since the middle of May onwards. High temperatures are fine when you’re on holiday mainly because you’re off work and at your leisure. You don’t have to perform the usual daily task that life requires of you such as work, shop, cook, clean etc. Furthermore, if you’re on vacation you’ll probably be staying at a resort or hotel that is fully air conditioned and you’re dressed accordingly. However, if you’re still performing you’re daily routine such as commuting to work and spending time in an office that wasn’t built with such external temperatures in mind, then 33°C is frankly a pain in the ass. Oh and if you’re one of those people who always respond to discussions such as this with “well I live in Riyadh and it’s 40°C here”, please sod off. You live in a desert which is dumb to begin with. Plus this is not a commensurate comparison. Temperatures are rising in the UK. It’s always hot in Saudi Arabia.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Before we start, let me explain to those readers outside of the UK, the significance of a Dairy Milk Freddo chocolate bar and its relevance to this post. The “Freddo” is an 18g (0.63 oz) chocolate bar, in the shape of an anthropomorphic frog. When it was re-launched by Cadbury in 1990 (it had previously been manufactured by an Australian confectionery company in the seventies), it was priced at 10p (£0.10). It remained at that price until 2005 when a 1p to 2p increase began to occur each year. By 2016 Freddos were retailing at 25p. However, the following year the price “lept” to 30p with an increase that was double its usual yearly rise. This led to public outrage across social media. Since then the price of a Freddo has waxed and waned. Tesco supermarket reduced the price back to 10p as part of their centenary celebrations. The post COVID price in 2022 hit 49p. At present, the average price of a Freddo in the UK is somewhere around 35p.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve written several blog posts about my personal working experiences and my career, such as it was. I touched upon working specifically in IT and how that industry changed over time, both technically and in the way that other people perceived it. I have also given my thoughts on the social dynamics of the modern work environment and the way we interact with our colleagues and employers. That is another area that has changed dramatically. Naturally my retirement from full time work has been written about, as it is such a radical change in one’s life. Especially if you’re the sort of person who is clearly defined by their job, which I personally was not. This time, I want to share a few thoughts I have about what I miss about “going to work” and “having a job”. I’m not sure if “miss” is the right word. Perhaps it is more a question of things being absent. Either way, there are some aspects of being employed that I use to enjoy or at least found beneficial that I now no longer experience.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
There are approximately 4000 parks and green spaces in Greater London. Bexley Borough alone has over 100. Public parks and green spaces are vital to modern cities, providing essential health, environmental and social benefits. They boost physical and mental wellbeing by reducing stress and providing a place for exercise. Furthermore they enhance urban sustainability, mitigate heat, and provide a sustainable environment for a wildlife. Parks are often a venue for social activities and events and as such are an important part of the local community. Going to the park has always been a part of my life. I live next to Old Farm Park in Sidcup and have made use of this recreational space throughout my life. I used visit with my parents in the seventies, when I was a child. Thirty years later my son, father in-law and I would fly kites there. Now I take my grandchildren to Old Farm Park as it now has a playground.
Being a 58 year old man, I welcome any undertaking which can potentially improve my health. One such thing is proactive screening and testing. The UK National Health Service has started doing a lot more of this in recent years, mainly because diagnosing a problem and treating it early is far more efficient and cost effective than retroactive action. Hence this policy and my age is why I was recently sent a NHS Bowel Cancer Test Kit via the post. This screening service takes place every two years for people aged 50 to 74 in the UK. The kit is very quick and simple to use. A sample of your stool is sent via a prepaid return envelope for testing and the entire process is free of charge. Upon receipt, the laboratory test determines whether there is any blood present in your stool, which is a potential indicator of bowel cancer. If detected, an early diagnosis greatly improves any subsequent treatment outcomes.
I like learning things. I always have. During my middle school years I thought I was a mediocre student and often I wouldn’t apply myself. According to an old school report this was because I was “too busy indulging in Tomfoolery”. Then I had the positive experience of meeting an exceptional teacher. Their lessons were the highlight of the week as they had an ability to make the subject matter, Classical History, utterly compelling and relevant. The teacher in question also treated us like adults and the class benefitted from only having five pupils. This really brought home to me that a lot of disinterest and underachievement in education is linked to the paucity of some teachers. One bad teacher can undermine the good work that all the others can do. Perhaps it has improved nowadays?
I’ve had an interest in the paranormal since I was a child. My mother always got books out of the library about ghosts and UFO phenomenon, so in some respects I was influenced by her reading habits. As a child such tales were by default interesting and any potentially scary element naturally made them more enjoyable. However, my father being an academic had taught me to question everything, so I felt fairly evenly equipped when exploring these subjects. Further to this point, over the years I have learned that humans have a very unique perspective on the world. We are hard wired to see patterns, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Our senses can also be fooled and often are. Perhaps the most important aspect of our nature that impacts upon any analysis we make into the paranormal is our penchant for creating stories. Hence unusual experiences can be subconsciously misremembered and “retconned” to form more precise narratives.
I have lived in Sidcup, in South East London, for most of my life. The first two schools that I went to were local and within 15 minutes walking distance. My Doctor’s Surgery and Dentist are only a few streets away, as is the barbershop that I’ve frequented since 1970. I now have my haircut by the son of the original barber. My point being that Sidcup has everything that residents immediately need. There’s a local hospital, good public transport networks and a broad range of shopping and restaurant facilities. It also has several parks with lakes, sport facilities and children’s play areas. It is a microcosm of the concept of suburbia with its residents commuting into Central London or out into Kent for work. People move here to raise families and end up staying. My parents lived here for 62 years.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
I was in a pub last night, catching up with friends before Christmas, when I noticed on the wall something I haven’t seen in a pub for a very long time. A jukebox. In my experiences most of the pubs I go to take one of the following two approaches to background music. They either have a sound system and exclusively manage any music via personally curated playlists from behind the bar. Or they have no music at all. The Wetherspoons chain of pubs broadly follow the latter policy and actively use it as a marketing point. Quiet pubs for clientele that just want to talk can be popular. Hence finding an accessible jukebox was a blast from the past. During the late eighties and early nineties, I regularly visited my local pub and often used the jukebox there, which at the time, was operated by an ever changing store of CDs. The jukebox I encountered last night was digital.
Today is my 58th birthday. It would appear that I have existed for nearly six decades. Put another way, I am over half a century old. All of which has given me pause for thought with regard to the passage of time. A phrase that is often bandied about, but what exactly does it mean? As I understand it, the “passage of time” refers to our perception of the flow of time and how we experience its movement. This is something distinct and different from objective time as measured by clocks. Our subjective experience of time can vary due to multiple factors. Two common examples are how time can feel like it's flying by when we're having fun and enjoying something or dragging its feet when you’re enduring something dull. Other factors are whether we are applying ourselves to a task, concentrating and general activity. Such focus can make time pass quickly.
When Mrs P and I moved into our current home, over twenty years ago, we were both working full time. As the garden was poorly maintained and neither of us had any horticultural skills, we decided to employ a gardener. At the time it was a practical solution to the issue of garden maintenance and remains so today. Hence it is a service we continue to use, although our personal health is now the main reason we pay a gardener.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
Formal education in the UK is a structured process, starting at early years learning and continuing through to higher education at university. Some aspects of the educational system are mandatory, whereas others are optional. At present, children in the UK must start full-time education from the age of 5 and remain until the age of 16. After this age, they are no longer required to attend school per se but must remain in some other form of education or training, such as a vocational college or an apprenticeship. Many students remain at school until 18, as there are specific exams to be obtained that are required for a subsequent university placement. Here is a breakdown of the current process as it exists in the UK.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
Last Wednesday, I woke up with what I thought to be a crick in my neck on the left hand side. I assumed this was simply due to sleeping awkwardly and so I self medicated with some non-prescription pain relief and judicious use of a heat pad. Unfortunately, the problem has persisted and in the last 24 hours it has become much worse. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 AM and as I sat up in bed, an intense pain ran up the left side of my neck and behind my ear. It took several attempts for me to get out of bed because if I turned my head in either direction or inclined my chin, the pain would again run up the side of my neck. Sitting down, getting up and raising my arms caused similar results. While dressing, I attempted to pull a t-shirt over my head. The pain in my neck on this occasion was so severe that I yelled out loud and nearly blacked out.
I am a non-driver. If you wish to know the specifics of how this situation came about, feel free to read the post I wrote about it back in early 2018. To be succinct, I don’t drive, I’ve never learned how and have never owned a car. I don’t feel that I’ve missed out. In fact I feel quite the opposite. I think I’ve dodged a major hassle and expense in life. Mrs P, my significant other, is the designated driver of our household. She owns a car, insures it and maintains it. She also mainly pays for the petrol, whereas I pick up the tab for other things such as lunch or hotels when we travel. All I have to do is make like Iggy Pop if we go anywhere. The most I am ever called upon to do is navigate using Google maps and Android Auto. Fortunately, Mrs P enjoys driving. Always has done. Hence I look upon this situation as an extremely fortunate and equitable arrangement.
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre is the fancy name of our local dump. A few decades ago, this was no more than a scrap yard. The rubbish and bric-a-brac left by the public was sorted and scavenged for resaleable scrap. Everything that was left was subsequently sent to landfill or incineration. Much has changed. Today it is the embodiment of the modern recycling ethos. The recycling centre is a well managed, carefully segregated site providing safe disposal of a wide variety of household and garden waste. Wood, metal and hardcore are recycled and there is similar provision for a multitude of electrical goods. Plastics, oils, paint, batteries can be safely disposed of. I have yet to find a home item that they do not have provision to dispose of. The Foots Cray Reuse and Recycling Centre has won awards for the service it provides and is considered one of the best facilities of its kind in the South East of the country.
The Case for a Written UK Constitution
The United Kingdom is one of the few democratic countries in the world that does not have a single, written constitution. Others include Canada, New Zealand and Israel. To date, its constitution is a combination of written and unwritten sources, including statutes, common law, conventions and somewhat esoterically, royal prerogatives. The reason for this is predominantly historical. Since 1688, Britain has not experienced a revolution or regime change, which often leads to a constitutional initiative, such as the American or the French Revolution. Britain’s constitution has evolved slowly over time under relative stability and as such, it has never been deemed necessary to list the fundamental laws and principles of the country's political system.
The United Kingdom is one of the few democratic countries in the world that does not have a single, written constitution. Others include Canada, New Zealand and Israel. To date, its constitution is a combination of written and unwritten sources, including statutes, common law, conventions and somewhat esoterically, royal prerogatives. The reason for this is predominantly historical. Since 1688, Britain has not experienced a revolution or regime change, which often leads to a constitutional initiative, such as the American or the French Revolution. Britain’s constitution has evolved slowly over time under relative stability and as such, it has never been deemed necessary to list the fundamental laws and principles of the country's political system.
The current constitution is deficient for three reasons. Its lack of clarity, its failure to properly protect fundamental rights and the inadequacy of the current devolution settlement for Scotland and Wales. Firstly, the fact that the UK’s constitution is not codified in a single document means that the place of certain key governmental mechanisms lack clarity. For example, the legal status of referendums has never been properly set out. Secondly, although Britain does have a Human Rights Act, that legislation does not enjoy the same status as a list of fundamental rights in a codified constitution. As it is not entrenched, it does not have any special protection and can be amended or overturned. The current devolution settlement requires a written constitution that properly sets out the position of the devolved administrations of Scotland and Wales and their respective powers.
Bearing this in mind, here are some arguments in favour of the UK adopting a written constitution:
Clarity and Accessibility:
A written constitution would provide a clear and easily accessible document outlining the fundamental principles and rights of all UK citizens. This can enhance public understanding of their rights and the functioning of the government. It would also provide those in government with clear parameters within which they have to work.
Legal Certainty:
A formal constitution would bring legal certainty, as it would serve as a supreme law that can be referred to in all legal disputes. This contrasts with the current situation where constitutional principles are dispersed among various sources which often leads to confusion and misinterpretation (both willful and accidental).
Protection of Rights:
Explicitly enumerating individual rights within the framework of a written constitution, would provide a stronger legal basis for citizens to challenge any encroachments on their rights. This may contribute to a more robust protection of civil liberties and greater public awareness of said rights.
Limitation of Government Power:
A clearly written, unambiguous constitution could establish clear checks and balances on the powers of different branches of government. Thus limiting the potential for abuse of power and ensuring a more effective separation of powers.
Modernisation and Adaptability:
Another key benefit of a written constitution, is the ability to be able to make relevant amendments and updates that reflect changing societal values and circumstances. This adaptability is often considered crucial in a rapidly evolving world. New socio-political issues, especially those driven by technology and the global environment, often need to be addressed as quickly as they emerge.
International Reputation:
Having a written constitution could enhance the UK's international reputation by aligning its governance structure with the constitutional norms followed by most democratic nations. Many international institutions are built upon mutually held ideas and concepts. Enshrining commonly held values and ideas often affords diplomatic, political and commercial benefits.
Citizen Engagement:
Having a clear constitution can positively impact civic education and engagement. Citizens can become more aware of the mechanics of government as well as their constitutional rights and responsibilities. A better informed electorate can make more effective political choices and become more active in local and national government.
Reducing Constitutional Uncertainty:
The lack of a written constitution can lead to uncertainty, particularly during times of constitutional crisis. The events arising from the Brexit referendum and the political deadlock that reached a peak in 2019 being a clear example. Having a clear and precise constitutional framework could provide a clear route for resolving such situations.
Judicial Review:
A written constitution would enhance the role of the judiciary in interpreting and enforcing constitutional principles through judicial review. This would therefore provide a strong mechanism for holding the government accountable, aiding or sanctioning them when circumstances required. It would also facilitate definitive answers on constitutional interpretation, far more efficiently.
Symbolic Value:
It can be argued that there is a positive, symbolic value to adopting a written constitution. It signals a commitment to transparency, democracy and the rule of law. It provides a cultural foundation upon which to build and a degree of social stability in knowing that certain principles are enshrined in law.
It is important to note that this is not an exhaustive list and opinions on this matter will naturally vary. There are also arguments against adopting a written constitution, with some people favouring the flexibility and evolutionary nature of the UK's current constitutional arrangements. The debate over whether the UK should have a written constitution continues and any constitutional change would likely be a significant and complex process.
If you visit the websites for such UK tabloid newspapers as the Daily Express or the Daily Mail you will no doubt encounter prominent stories about Megan Markle, Nigel Farage and “immigrants”. If these two august institutions are short of column inches, they’ll run a piece about how some former celebrity has had the unmitigated gall and temerity to get old. I mean WTF? How dare they do what human beings are genetically disposed to do. It’s outrageous. Similarly, head over to the Unherd website and you’ll find foam flecked tirades regarding spurious points of contention over dubious subjects. Often the topic being harangued is incredibly niche and I’ve never heard of it before or even considered it being a thing. These sort of talking points are not about informing, debating and most certainly aren’t about thinking. They exist to provoke reactions.
Yesterday afternoon, Nigel Farage the Member of Parliament for Clacton and leader of the Reform Party, held a press conference in which he declared that he would be resigning his seat and thus triggering a by-election. He cited the following list of grievances that have led to him making this decision. That the Parliamentary standards investigations were being politicised, the media and other parties were conducting a coordinated campaign against him and that he had endured years of threats and physical attacks. He further asserted that his family’s privacy and safety had been breached as well. He finished by alleging that the political system was repeatedly changing rules to obstruct Reform and that he was the most attacked politician in the UK. Rather than be judged by the legacy media and the “establishment”, he would rather put the issue of his political integrity to the electorate of Clacton. He even offered to pay for the cost of the by-election.
UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer has resigned and intends to leave office before the parliamentary summer recess. By then Andy Burnham will more than likely be voted leader of the Labour Party and by default will become the new Prime Minister. Due to the current size of the incumbent Government’s majority, there is no pressing reason for a General Election that the UK’s right wing tabloid press is currently calling for. Whether this provides the Government with the reset they’re hoping for when Parliament reconvenes in autumn remains to be seen. With seven Prime Ministers coming and going in a decade, there are some serious questions to be asked about the current state of UK politics. However, the mechanics of contemporary politics, the decline of clearly defined ideologies and the people that seek elected office to be our leaders are only half of the problem. The other major impediment to the UK’s democracy functioning properly is the electorate.
Andy Burnham successfully won the Makerfield by-election yesterday, returning him to the House of Commons as a member of Parliament after holding the position of Mayor of Manchester for the past nine years. Prior to this, Burnham was Labour MP for Leigh from 2001 and 2017. He served in both the Tony Blair and Gordon Brown administrations and has held such senior governmental posts as Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport and Secretary of State for Health. His return to Parliamentary politics is likely to result in a leadership challenge to incumbent Prime Minister Keir Starmer. When speaking after winning yesterday’s by-election Burnham spoke of “a final chance for change” the current trajectory of the present Labour Government. However, I don’t wish to focus on any of this at present. I am far more interested in the above picture, taken as the results were announced and what it says about UK politics.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Every Thursday, Mrs P volunteers at a food bank that is run from a local church; Avery Hill Christian Fellowship. Today there was a shortage of staff so I agreed to help out. It proved to be an equitable arrangement as she collated the various orders and I packed the bags and took them to the respective clients. The food bank itself is organised and administered by the Trussell Trust, a UK based NGO and charity providing emergency food and support to people locked in poverty. It is open for 2 to 3 hours a week depending upon demand. During today’s session we served just six people. Some weeks its can be triple that amount. Upon closure, a member of staff from the Trussel Trust did a stock take and collated a list of what was needed. This is provided by various local church communities via parishioners donations, as well as local supermarkets who have an arrangement with the trust to provide surplus stock or good approaching the end of their sales window.
Under the First Past the Post electoral system, the candidate(s) receiving the highest number of votes in each constituency are elected. This system is used in the UK during general elections and in some local elections, such as those recently conducted in England. An alternative approach is the system of proportional representation, which aims to allocate seats in a manner that reflects the popularity of various parties. Both the Scottish Parliament and the Senedd in Wales employ systems of Proportional Representation. Historically, first-past-the-post has been seen as advantageous for the Conservative and Labour parties. It poses challenges for smaller parties whose votes are distributed evenly across different regions, making it difficult for them to secure seats. This dynamic effectively prevents potential competitors to the Conservatives and Labour from succeeding electorally. Consequently, due to this situation, voters may hesitate to support these smaller parties from the outset.
There are local elections being held across the UK today. Voters in Scotland and Wales will elect representatives to their respective national parliaments, while in England the voting is for local councils and regional mayors. These are the first major elections to be held in the UK since the 2024 General Election which saw the Conservative government of fourteen years, fall to the Labour Party. Midterm elections are often a litmus test for how the electorate think the national government are performing although local issues are also a major factor. The consensus among political journalists and commentators is that the incumbent government is polling extremely poorly and will subsequently face a backlash. In recent years the UK has seen a decline in traditional two party voting with Reform UK and the Greens gaining significant traction among the electorate. Hence today’s elections may well see both these parties make significant gains.
Our household is currently trying to reduce our monthly overheads in response to the ever increasing cost of living. April is not that far away and a great many service providers will increase their rates and tariff as the new financial year begins. Then there is the ongoing effects, both direct and indirect, of inflation to consider. Although the UK inflation rate is dropping, currently sitting at 3.4% in December 2025, food inflation remains higher at 4.5%. Being based in the UK, salaries and billed services tend to be administered monthly. You get paid usually at the end of the months and bills can turn up at any point, depending upon when you started a service. Any payments coming from central government, such as state pension or other benefits, are paid every 4 weeks. This means that there are 13 payments in a year. I thought it pertinent to clarify this point as other countries, such as the USA, favour a fortnightly financial cycle. Hence as a household we work around a monthly budget.
I don’t know if you have noticed that there are quite a lot of companies that have names taken from Tolkien’s Legendarium. At first glance, this seems innocuous enough. Tolkien’s writings grew in popularity over the seventies and eighties but since the release of the film trilogy at the start of the twenty-first century, his work has become more well known and been assimilated into our wider pop culture. Hence, it seems quite logical that a startup tech company, for example, would choose a name from his writings. No doubt the founders grew up reading The Lord of the Rings and are fans. That all seems plausible. However if you take a further look, it gets somewhat more complex. Here are four companies that have Tolkien based names.
“Managed decline” is a phrase that refers to the processes associated with the end of a specific lifecycle, with the goal of minimizing costs or other forms of loss. The concept originated in business where it referred to the management of companies and industries. More recently it is used in wider contexts. The concept gained prominence with regard to urban policy, particularly in the UK during the eighties when several major cities suffered economic and political collapse. Of late, the term has been applied to the UK, encompassing a systematic weakening of the economy, social structures, and cultural values, as well as its global political and diplomatic force. In each case, managed decline involves making strategic choices about resource allocation and accepting the consequences of those decisions. It is a complex issue with ethical and practical considerations, often sparking debate about the best way to address decline and reverse the process.
I still maintain a legacy presence on Twitter/X and I follow my local MP (member of Parliament) Louie French. It’s not something I especially relish as I am not a supporter of the Conservative party (or any other) and I did not vote for him in the last election. I just like to know what he is up to as he is the political representative for our constituency. As the Conservatives are out of power at present, to all intent and purposes, Mr French is a backbench MP although he has a minor position as Shadow Parliamentary Undersecretary (Culture, Media and Sport). However, with that being said he is hardly a key member of the shadow cabinet. Hence he focuses on constituency work and that which is generated by his shadow posting. He will also lend his voice, when required, to any major policy decision or statement made by his party.
Sunday 6th April is the start of a new financial year, here in the UK. According to data from numerous financial and economic institutions, an estimated million plus households will be facing annual increases of £400 to £500 as the proverbial “cost of living” goes up. Everything from Council Tax to Mobile and Broadband costs are being increased. Future cost hikes are expected in our energy and water utilities. As bills start going up across the country today, average wages remain stagnant. Middle-income and poorer households have been worst hit by this wage related issue. Hence the tabloid press have labelled the start of the new financial year as “Awful April”. Hyperbole aside, this is a very real issue which due to its complex, global causes, doesn’t have a quick fix solution.
I consider myself to be a grounded, rational individual. I am not excessively emotional. I like facts, data and reason as opposed to hyperbole, rhetoric and bluster. That being said, I am aware that the world is an imperfect place. Opinions are often not based upon empirical fact but personal perspective. Hence many people experience reality differently to me. They are driven by their feelings and other factors. However, despite these differences in philosophy, for most of my life the world has remained functional and over time slowly improved in subtle ways. Deference to expertise, a sense of community and basic pragmatism meant that people broadly pulled in the same direction. Of course there has always been dissent but it has been within a stable system. However, of late I feel that this era is now finally over. Things are no longer stable. We live in an uncertain world.
Newspapers were an integral part of UK culture in the seventies. During the week, they were delivered prior to going to work, so you would peruse them over breakfast. Alternatively you would buy one en route to your place of employment and read it on the bus or train. In a world before 24 hour, rolling news, they were the primary means of keeping the public abreast of events and as such, enjoyed a substantial audience. On occasions a newspaper story could make or break a political career or launch a crusading campaign to address a social ill. Newspapers were a force to be reckoned with and therefore a significant part of the socio-political landscape. However, due to a strong union presence within the workforce, the UKs newspapers often lagged behind other industries with regard to the technology.
The First Past the Post (FPTP) electoral system used in the United Kingdom, as well as in several other countries such as the US and India, has both advantages and disadvantages. However, despite being a simple and straightforward system it has been abandoned by many democracies in favour of more proportional and equitable methods. The primary criticism against FPTP is that it allows a minority of the electorate to return a majority government. Since 1935, there have been majority governments 90% of the time, but not one of them had the support of a majority of voters. At present, the current UK government has a majority of seats with just 43.6% of the votes. In the 2019 election they gained an extra 48 seats despite an increase of only 1.2% of the vote share.
Politicians have a distinct way of talking when being interviewed or giving a press conference. It is often characterised by a strategic use of language, centred around rhetorical devices, persuasion techniques and a careful framing of messages. Direct answers to questions are usually avoided, with tangential responses being preferred. Opinions and specific perspectives are frequently presented as facts. There is also a propensity to focus on “problems” and apportioning blame, rather than “solutions”. It’s important to note that the use of language in politics is a complex and dynamic process influenced by various factors, including cultural context, media dynamics, and the evolving political landscape. Different politicians may employ different communication strategies based on their individual styles and objectives. Here are some key aspects of how politicians use language:
The United Kingdom is one of the few democratic countries in the world that does not have a single, written constitution. Others include Canada, New Zealand and Israel. To date, its constitution is a combination of written and unwritten sources, including statutes, common law, conventions and somewhat esoterically, royal prerogatives. The reason for this is predominantly historical. Since 1688, Britain has not experienced a revolution or regime change, which often leads to a constitutional initiative, such as the American or the French Revolution. Britain’s constitution has evolved slowly over time under relative stability and as such, it has never been deemed necessary to list the fundamental laws and principles of the country's political system.
On Friday 15th September the former actor and comedian turned internet social commentator, Russell Brand, released a video on his YouTube channel addressing allegations about his personal life, ahead of a forthcoming UK current affairs documentary. Brand vehemently denied what he described as “very serious criminal allegations”. The following day Channel Four broadcast “Russell Brand: In Plain Sight”. During the course of the program Brand was accused by one woman of rape and by three others of sexual assaults, and emotional abuse between 2006 and 2013. During the course of the week, further claims have been made against him and that his “predatory” behaviour was an open secret within the TV industry. Furthermore, women would warn each other in advance if they had any dealing with him. All of which has played out against a mixture of broadsheet analysis, tabloid hyperbole, performative politics and internet bluster.
For those who live outside of the UK, let me categorically state that Brexit has broken British politics. Prior to 2016, national politics still broadly functioned along traditional party political lines, with income and class substantially determining voter allegiance. The big three cities (London, Birmingham and Liverpool) maintained their liberal dispositions and Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales were dominated by their regional politics. Brexit changed all this creating fault lines that fell outside of the existing political status quo. Opinions differed based upon where you lived, how politically literate you were and even education. Your party political allegiance no longer indicated what stance you took on this matter. Furthermore, the discourse around this complex subject was quickly debased into a bipartisan culture war that was toxic and dangerous.
Okay, keep up as there’s a lot of ground to cover. The UK government is currently suffering in the opinion polls and after 13 years in office, is facing potential oblivion at the next general election. In an attempt to shore up support among the party faithful, the Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, is currently pursuing a hardline with regard to immigration. According to Ipsos, as a political issue about 29% of the electorate consider immigration to be a major problem. The remainder either think current levels are manageable or have no substantive view on the matter. However, as a “culture war” issue that can be weaponized by the tabloid press, which often has direct links to the Conservative Party in the UK, immigration is a hill to die upon. Hence you will find a lot of rhetoric that is anti-immigration and any contrary view is tarred with trite pejorative terms such as “lefty”, “liberal” and “woke”.
Last April, the Election Act 2022 became law within the UK. The Act introduced a requirement for all those voting in-person to produce photo identification when attending a polling station. This is the first time that such an ID has been required. Prior to this, voters could either bring their polling card to verify their identity at the polling station, or confirm their registered address from the electoral roll with staff. Now a UK driving licence or passport are considered the primary means of identity. A list of additional photo identification that has been deemed acceptable, is available on the UK government website. For those members of the electorate who do not have any of the qualifying ID, there is a Voter Authority Certificate available, which can be applied for online. This photo ID is linked to the applicants National Insurance Number. For further impartial information on photo ID and registering to vote, visit the The Electoral Commission website.
I am writing this post from the perspective of a UK citizen, but the sentiments expressed are applicable to anyone who lives in a country where you have democratically elected local political representation. IE someone who is supposed to advocate on behalf of your community or for you personally as the duly elected political representative. Here in the UK, the country is divided into 650 constituencies, each returning one Member of Parliament. Irrespective of whether you voted for your MP or whether you support the political party that they belong to, they are obliged to represent you and advocate on your behalf, if you request it. Such is the relationship in principle between constituents and MPs in the UK. It is important to be aware that your local MP is not a delegate whose sole purpose is to represent majority constituency views. Under the UK political system, an MP makes decisions on behalf of constituents and can take a position counter to local opinion, if they feel that is in the best interest of the constituency.
It is difficult to write about the state of UK politics with any degree of intellectual rigour when the entire situation has become so utterly farcical. My initial reaction to the recent departure of Liz Truss after just 45 days in office, was to laugh with abject scorn and derision. She was destined to fail due to utter lack of ability. However, there is still the outstanding matter of the country lacking a credible and functional government to address inflation, the cost of living crisis and resolve all the issues stemming from Brexit. There are problematic national and international events taking place that need addressing. A united, pragmatic and empathetic government is required to solve both these short term and long term needs. Sadly, the governing party is riven with opposing factions and there is no commonly held policy or underlying ideology. The PM may well have changed but the underlying flaws remain.
Conservative Party has been in government in the UK since 2010. During that time there have been three Prime Ministers. Today we moved onto the fourth. After Boris Johnson resigned on 7th July, the nation has had to endure a tedious two month process in which the Conservative Party elects a new leader. That person then becomes the PM by default. Many readers unfamiliar with the UK political system may be surprised that a change of leader has not led to a General Election. That is because the Conservative Party still holds a parliamentary majority of 71 elected Members of Parliament. Hence it is still constitutionally quite able to govern, despite Boris Johnson being forced from office. Therefore party members vote for a new party leader who gets the top job by default. Remember that in the UK, the Prime Minister is not the head of state and does not have the executive powers of a President.
I try to keep my thoughts on political matters to a minimum here at Contains Moderate Peril, mainly because UK politics and the current state of discourse associated with it has become an absolute shit show in recent years. Brexit broke traditional politics and has made matters far more tribal and partisan. The two main parties have declined from having clear ideologies, identities and manifestos, to becoming either a lobby group for the specific demographic group that supports them, or a conflicted, divided and schizoid shadow of its former self. I’ll let you work out which is which. Politics is no longer about governing a nation for the benefit of all its citizens. Now you simply pick a side and join the ongoing culture war against everyone and everything else. This rotten system produces rotten leaders. Hence, when Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson became Prime Minister in December 2019, it was clear that the nation was taking a major risk on such a man. His failings as a politician and a person are a matter of public record for anyone who has the eyes to see them.
The title for this post is a quote from The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. I’ve used it as a verbal cue to try and give readers an overview of the point I’m striving to convey. Because I want to talk about modern life in western civilization, specifically its complexity and increasing uncertainty. If you’re extremely wealthy you can mitigate these two points but I’m working on the premise that most of the people who read Contains Moderate Peril are not. The blogging community, of which I am a participant, is a diverse group but from what I’ve observed it’s not populated by millionaires. In fact most of the people I know, both online and in person, are just holding down a job, trying to keep a roof over their head and pay the bills. Often they’re doing the job they do in default of anything else and they’re at the very least ambivalent towards it. The pandemic has also brought home how fragile so-called “normality” is. Modern politics are also volatile and life in general just doesn’t seem as certain as it was twenty years ago.
The Conservative Party successfully held onto their “safe seat” of Old Bexley and Sidcup in yesterday’s closely watched by-election. However their overall majority was reduced by more than half amid a very low voter turnout. Conservative councillor Louie French becomes the country’s newest MP after winning 11,189 votes, more than 50 per cent of those cast, in the seat previously held by the former cabinet minister James Brokenshire. Mr Brokenshire died in October from lung cancer aged 53. The closest challenger was Labour’s Daniel Francis, who secured 6,711 as the Tory majority fell from nearly 19,000 to 4,478, the equivalent of a vote share swing of 10 per cent to Labour. Turnout in the constituency was just 34%, down from the almost 70% who voted in the 2019 general election.
Political events in the constituency of Old Bexley and Sidcup have moved forward in the last few weeks, following on from the death of incumbent MP James Brokenshire on 8th of October. Although no formal announcement has yet been made regarding the date of the forthcoming by-election, the major political parties have started announcing the names of their respective candidates. There were initial concerns among some constituents that this safe Conservative Party seat may have been used as a means of parachuting in a candidate favoured by central office, rather than one determined by the local Conservative Association. Fortunately, that has not been the case. The UK Government currently enjoys a parliamentary majority of 79 seats and is therefore not in any urgent need of fast pathing further political allies.
Last week James Brokenshire, MP for the constituency of Old Bexley and Sidcup, died of lung cancer at the age of 53. He had held this parliamentary seat since 2010 and maintained a strong majority throughout the 2015, 2017 and 2019 general elections. Hence the constituency of Old Bexley and Sidcup is considered a “safe seat” for the Conservative Party. In fact it has only ever returned MPs from that party since its creation in 1983. As a result of Mr Brokenshire’s death, there will now be a by-election held in the constituency of Old Bexley and Sidcup to return a new MP to parliament. What makes this local election a little more interesting than usual, is that it will not be taking place against a wider ongoing national election. Therefore, there is scope that local issues may well play a greater part in the electioneering of all participating parties.
Google Pixel Watch
Four years ago I bought a Huawei Band 4 Pro smart band. At the time, I quite liked the idea of tracking health data and thought it would be useful as part of an exercise regime. I also bought a Fitbit Inspire 2 for Mrs P. However, after a while we both felt that our relationship with these devices, specifically the data they generated, was somewhat “arse about face”. IE We would find ourselves, walking around the lounge just to reach our step count target. We also felt that our smart bands were effectively nagging us rather than encouraging us. Needless to say, we both ended up ignoring a lot of the information that was being collated. Eventually Mrs P went back to using a regular wristwatch, while I soldiered on using my Huawei Band 4 Pro just as a timepiece. Then I started having problems with the strap. Or to be more precise the plastic clips that attached it kept breaking. I ended up buying about five replacements over a year and half.
Four years ago I bought a Huawei Band 4 Pro smart band. At the time, I quite liked the idea of tracking health data and thought it would be useful as part of an exercise regime. I also bought a Fitbit Inspire 2 for Mrs P. However, after a while we both felt that our relationship with these devices, specifically the data they generated, was somewhat “arse about face”. IE We would find ourselves, walking around the lounge just to reach our step count target. We also felt that our smart bands were effectively nagging us rather than encouraging us. Needless to say, we both ended up ignoring a lot of the information that was being collated. Eventually Mrs P went back to using a regular wristwatch, while I soldiered on using my Huawei Band 4 Pro just as a timepiece. Then I started having problems with the strap. Or to be more precise the plastic clips that attached it kept breaking. I ended up buying about five replacements over a year and half.
So about a fortnight ago I decided to replace it. This was done on a whim without any major research. I wanted something closer to a traditional wristwatch, preferring that shape to the more rectangular smart band. So I read a few reviews on Amazon and decided upon a Google Pixel watch as I already have a Pixel 6 phone. Plus there was a good deal to be had at the time, so I bought the watch without much more thought. It arrived promptly and I then went about the process of setting it up, which judging by the simple diagrams in the accompanying literature, was supposed to be a proverbial “piece of cake”. Lies. Utter lies. To begin with, just pairing the watch with my phone was not as “quick and easy” as Google would have you believe. I have often found that Bluetooth is as temperamental as a cat deciding whether it wants to go outside or not. On this occasion that was exactly the case.
Next came updating the watch software. This too was a time consuming process. The software was downloaded via my phone (which was connected to the home wifi) and then transferred to the watch via Bluetooth. The phrase dawdling springs to mind. However, after an hour or two, these issues were all addressed and I finally put the damn thing on my wrist so I could tell the time. Then all the beeping started. This is because Google in their infinite wisdom has enabled every alert that the watch can possibly generate by default. Hence I was assailed by a litany of messages congratulating me on my ability to walk, having oxygen in my bloodstream and generally not being dead. Next, when the watch synchronised with my phone, I was bombarded further by every alert that infernal device produces. Oh how we laughed.
Finally, I opened the app for the watch on my phone and decided to tweak a few settings. This meant having a few YouTube videos beforehand, which is always a source of deep joy for me, due to my untrammelled love of humanity. We are truly blessed that so many fine orators and critical thinkers dain to share their wisdom with us lesser mortals via this medium. But I digress. Two week’s on I have a functional watch that tracks a multitude of data but doesn’t badger me about it incessantly. It does alert me of new emails , X and Mastodon notifications and new replies on Discord but I have chosen these notifications. So now instead of me endless checking my phone, I lavish attention on my watch instead. I feel like a Dick Tracy tribute act. Oh did I mention it needs charging every 24 hours? I could get 5 days or so out of my old smart band. But at least the strap doesn’t keep breaking.
Recently, the remote control for my Media Player developed a fault. I was watching a film, when for no apparent reasons, the video jumped ahead about twenty minutes and then get stuck in a playback loop of a few seconds duration. At first I thought it was a glitch with the particular .mkv file I was watching but then the problem started happening on both video and YouTube content. I then noticed that when the fault occurred, the backlight on the remote came on and shimmered as it a button was being pressed continuously. Removing the batteries from the remote control for 30 seconds and the replacing them would then restore functionality. This indicated to me that the fault lay with the remote control and not the media player itself. I therefore decided to take the remote control apart to see if I could see any obvious problems. I did not, so I cleaned it and re-assembled it. Sadly the fault persisted, so I decided to replace the remote control.
Until fairly recently, I have maintained a somewhat casual approach to the system maintenance of my PC. “Casual” in this context is a subjective term. What I consider to be “casual” others may think to be robust or even rigorous. But I digress. I regularly undertake minor housekeeping such a clearing my web browser data, removing temporary or unwanted files and updating software. I also make sure that only essential services and programs start when I turn on my PC. I keep an orderly desktop and an intuitive filing system. However, I do very little with respect to maintaining the hardware inside my PC. I clean inside the case a couple of times a year and ensure that the fans are free from dust contamination but that’s about it. I have no idea if the installed RAM is running optimally or whether the processor is operating within the appropriate heat threshold. Does the thermal paste between it and the heat sink need replacing? Are all the cores enabled?
Last year, when I was looking for some suitable video editing software, I found that people would often recommended DaVinci Resolve. It is indeed an outstanding tool but totally beyond my needs. It is also a beast to run and occupies a substantial percentage of real estate on your SSD, so I dismissed this option for practical reasons. Let it suffice to say that finding a suitable product that met my requirements was quite difficult. Video editors often seem to be either quick and easy tools for clipping content on the fly, such as Bandicut (which is great for exactly that purpose) or huge, professional quality behemoths, used by people who work in the appropriate industry. DaVinci Resolve is a textbook example of this. It begs the question what products occupy the middle ground, assuming they exist.
Going forward, if I write any more posts about my use of AI, I am not going to add the following caveat. I will do it once more here, so everyone knows where we all stand. I am fully aware that AI has already taken jobs and will continue to do so. I also know that data centres are not environmentally friendly. As for the evil corporate billionaires that get rich from the situation, that also has not come as a surprise to me. I also believe that the AI market needs regulating and there should be legislation in place to ensure that AI is never directly linked to important government and civil infrastructure. That being said, I am not going to stop using AI at a domestic level over notions of ethical purity. All of the above criticisms can broadly be applied to the industrial revolution and society came to terms with that and survived it. The same goes for the computer revolution. Things change and we adapt. Plus, if you really wanted to protest and lobby against AI, the best time to do this was two decades ago.
One of things I dislike with a passion about modern software is that you cannot cleanly uninstall it from your PC. Removing an unwanted or problematic program just leaves metaphorical muddy footprints throughout your PC. It makes my SSD feel like a crime scene with virtual brain matter spattered across the soft furnishings. Sadly, this is the price you pay for having a modern operating system with a registry, shared dependencies and a liking for temporary files and caches. It all makes me feel very nostalgic for the halcyon days of DOS, with self-contained programs sitting in a solitary folders. Often libraries and drivers lived in specific system paths or the same folder, avoiding conflicts. You could just delete stuff and it sodded off. You didn’t need two priests and holy water. Happy days.
Thinking Out Loud is a recurring post where I write about thoughts and ideas that have recently occurred to me. As ever the intention is not to develop these ideas into full blown blog posts, although they often the could be. Instead I just collate a few sentences to express my point and leave it at that. The idea being that if anyone else wants to pick up the conversation they can do so in the comments section below. On this occasion the various points are all technology based. I’ve been busy of late with several projects, such as building a new website and creating some widgets specifically for it. Like most technical projects things don’t often go as planned and problems occur unexpectedly. Hence, I thought why not make a themed instalment of Thinking Out Loud this time round? It’s something that I may well do this again in the future. As ever, feel free to make your thoughts known.
I turned on my laptop this morning for the first time in 4 months. I knew it was that long because I hadn’t connected the laptop to the new Netgear router that I bought at the end of April. Unsurprisingly, as I haven’t used this device for a while there were multiple Windows updates to be installed. This process took over an hour, so while the various updates were being downloaded and installed, I turned my attention to my Amazon Echo Dot which loiters in the corner of our lounge, doing very little to justify its existence. At present this device is mainly used as a glorified timer for cooking, which seems a bit of a waste given it’s alleged capabilities. Hence, I decided to see if I could increase its functionality while waiting for Windows to do its update thing. More on this later. Let us for the meantime return to the small matter of the operating system updates. Once they were completed, I immediately installed Chris Titus Tech’s Windows Utility and started removing unnecessary features and bloat, as well as disabling invasive services.
Before we begin, let me clearly state that this is not a comprehensive installation guide for installing Steam OS on your PC. Mainly because the variety of hardware that can be present in any PC makes each installation a somewhat bespoke affair. Hence I have decided to provide a list of bullet points of the various steps and issues I encountered during my installation, last week. Consider it advance warning of things you may encounter if you install this operating system. As ever, if this is something that you are intending to do, I would advise allowing yourself a suitable amount of time so you can accommodate any issues should they arise. It is entirely possible that this may be a two hour job for the technically literate running the most generic or commonplace hardware. However, I suspect that a lot of people undertaking this project will run into variations of the same problems that I encountered.
I am intrigued by the growth of the IndieWeb, owning your domain and static websites. I certainly agree with the notion of not relying on big corporations and I have an ongoing project to divest my dependency on software produced by major market players. However, although I own my own domain, my website is hosted by Squarespace. I’ve not really had any problems with them over the last 11 years and I would describe our business relationship as equitable. However, the monthly subscription price has increased over time and is likely to keep on doing so. It has crossed my mind as to whether there is a suitable alternative. However, if I were to migrate Contains Moderate Peril elsewhere I suspect it would be logistically complex and problematic.
I like learning new skills and starting projects. I regularly undertake such things with varying results. However, if they don’t work out that’s not a problem. You have to try something to see if you like it. I’ll add “within sensible parameters” as a caveat to the last statement. And it’s perfectly fine to discover that something isn’t for you. I like certain genres of video games, music, films and books. I am comfortable wearing certain types of clothes and not others. I’m picky about colours. I’ll even go so far as to say that I won’t drink out of any mug that’s just lying around. If I don’t like the joke, logo or overall aesthetic of it, I ain’t using it. However, I digress. Let’s get things back on track and talk about projects. This year I have wound down several websites and have decided not to move forward with making YouTube videos. I have focused my energy on improving my website and adding functionality. I am also trying to broaden the scope of my writing.
It’s funny how it is often the little things that become the proverbial straw that breaks the Camel’s back. I have been struggling for a while with the overall performance and functionality of my Windows 11 PC. The operating system is bloated, slow and buggy. It all too often commits that unpardonable sin of trying to do my thinking for me and enables some stupid feature by default. Despite having good specifications, my PC takes too long to boot up for my liking and is becoming too much of a wild card with regard to whether it will co-operate or not when I try and undertake a simple task. As someone who is very particular in their PC habits, IE I see my PC as a tool that I use on the terms that suit me. Hence, I find the faux enthusiasm that accompanies each uncalled for “improvement” that results in me losing agency, singularly antagonising. Then a minor issue arose recently that escalated into a thorn in my flesh and I decided that it was time that something must be done.
This is a post about the power of nostalgia and how sometimes, interacting with something from your past, be it physically or mentally, can produce a very strong and tangible emotional reaction. In some instances, this can be the result of something that you have specifically set out to do. On other occasions you can wander into a sense of nostalgia purely by chance. Today I experienced a very strong sense of nostalgia while watching a YouTube video and then again when I sought to replicate what I had seen. The video showed someone installing Windows 95 on to an old 486 PC from that era. The Window’s start up sound really touched a nerve (but in a good way) and then when the guy in the video launched Space Cadet 3D Pinball, a game that shipped with the operating system, I felt a strong compulsion to track down a copy and install the game myself, thus revisiting something that was an integral part of my life in 1995.
For the last few months I have being using Google Gemini. I subscribed so I could access a wider spectrum of services and evaluate it effectively. I also wanted to dispel some of the hysteria that accompanies any conversation about Large Language Models and Artificial Intelligence. The results were initially interesting and Google Gemini proved useful when researching material for blog posts. It is good at providing summaries about well documented subjects. I wrote a post about food banks recently and it distilled a lot of data into a manageable amount, which was ideal for my article. Google Gemini has also produced some visual basic scripting and simple batch files that have allowed me to automate processes on my PC. Such as changing the default monitor, or screen resolution at the click of an icon. However, I found this AI struggled with in-depth software troubleshooting and that its ability to create images varies greatly depending on the subject.
The UK Government has formerly announced its intention to ban under-16s from using social media. This is due to increasing public pressure that “something must be done” about the perceived iniquities of many online platforms. However, as with most complex social problems of this nature, no one has any clear or practical ideas as to what that “something” is. It remains a nebulous, non-specific panacea and clearly someone else’s job to identify and implement. As ever, why choose a nuanced and multifaceted solution to a complex problem, when it is far easier and politically expedient to just “ban” something. The former requires effort and a degree of thinking. If such an approach fails it also means that those who came up with it now carry the can. The latter dumps the problem in the lap of various third parties, who can then be conveniently blamed when the ill conceived policy fails.
Yesterday we changed internet service providers. We moved from EE (formerly BT) to Plusnet. The transition went surprisingly well, mainly due to the existing infrastructure remaining the same. We’ve had fibre to the premises (FTTP) since 2022 so this was essentially an administrative change. The previous ISP terminated their service at 1:30 AM in the morning, while I was playing Star Trek Online. By 6:30 AM I received a message from Plusnet that the new service was live. It took about an hour to configure the new Netgear Nighthawk RS100 router (I bought my own) and get all our household devices attached to the new network. The connection is running at exactly the same speed and stability as it had under the previous supplier. At present a 1Gbps connection is sufficient for our needs. The main factor that has driven this change is cost. We are currently paying £28 per month for internet access which is a competitive price in the UK.
In 1990 I was working at the DWP (Department for Work and Pensions). I had just taken the role of Computer Support Officer where I administered user access to the mainframe and provided first line support to staff using the terminals. That summer the office moved to a PC based network and the project was undertaken by the newly formed Siemens Nixdorf company. To cut a long story short I befriended one of the contract engineers and over the next 9 months he became an unofficial mentor to me. Technically he was only supposed to train me in the most basic of fashions but he liked the fact that I was always asking questions and effectively ended up schooling me in PC and server architecture, network administration and the associated protocols. For me this was the best way to learn. It was not a case of coming to grips with theory in a classroom environment. It was learning by doing and having direct and exclusive access to a source of knowledge and experience.
My Windows 11 PC is a cobbled together mess of upgrades, customisations and workarounds. It seems okay at first glance, mainly because my desktop is well organised and I don’t allow too many apps to start on boot up. But beneath this superficial veneer of efficiency and optimisation is a bloated mess. Every Windows update adds yet more spurious features which slows performance and tries to harvest your data. Windows is no longer a user friendly operating system that you buy and use without impediment. It is now a sprawling live service that actively gets in the way of your productivity so that it can make a buck off your inconvenience. There was a time when you could quickly learn its processes and foibles, so you could customise it into the tool you needed. Nowadays I have to continuously use third party tools to get Windows to do many of the things I want, or to access functionality that Microsoft has obtusely decided to restrict.
As the New Year is still young, I have embarked upon several new projects that I’ve been planning since Autumn last year. These undertakings have gone beyond the planning stage and are currently being implemented. The fun thing about the phrase “implemented” in this context is that it implies that it is by far the easiest and most straightforward part of the process. The initial brainstorming of ideas has been completed. A cogent and detailed plan has been written. The costing of materials and time required have been determined. These are the hard parts. All that remains is to “just do it”. It should be a piece of piss (a British phrase indicating that something is easy). It virtually “implements” itself. However, that is a load of bollocks. Because there is always scope for something to go wrong. It may well start as something minor and innocuous but it all too often ends in a “problem cascade”.
This time last year I made a decision to replace Microsoft Office or Office 365 as it is currently known. Mainly because I only use Outlook out of the entire suite of software. This project stalled because I couldn't easily import my existing email archive into Mozilla Thunderbird. Hence the status quo has been perpetuated. However, there is an ongoing cost associated with this software as well as some wider considerations about ethics and privacy which is why I have returned to this matter. Although this time I wish to replace not only Office 365 but all the other "production tools" I use to write and browse the internet. I have managed to make some progress towards this goal but it has been hard to adapt. Mainly because I had everything set up to my liking. Although alternatives are available, they're never exactly alike and require a lot of fine tuning to be deemed satisfactory.
Last summer I wrote a post about my experiences using various screen capture software. At the time I was using Bandicam which suited all my needs. I had configured the software to launch at Windows start-up and had a hotkey assigned to capture images from my primary monitor. Hence I could quickly grab a screenshot from my desktop or when playing a game. However, this changed in November 2025, when I bought two new monitors. Both of which supported HDR (High Dynamic Range). Although they provide superior picture quality, HDR has a knock-on effect on Bandicam. Screen capture images and video look over exposed. Hence I had to stop using the software and find an alternative. Fortunately the same company has been developing an alternative product with HDR support; Bandi Camera. So I swapped to this software. The screenshots were far better but the functionality of the app was lacking.
Our home has a 1 Gbps “fibre to the premises” internet connection. It has proven reliable since it was installed in June 2022. Our internet service provider EE (part of the BT group) are neither the best of worst suppliers. The monthly cost is not especially competitive and so we may be looking to move providers next Easter. However, that is a matter for the future. For the present there is a more immediate issue. Starting on Friday 21st November, our internet connection has started randomly dropping. Furthermore, both the Wi-Fi extender in the lounge and the wireless printer in my office have become disconnected from the network. It was as if their details had been erased from the router. I suspected that a recent firmware upgrade may be the culprit although EE denies it. However there are posts online from other customers with similar technical issues.
A couple of times a year, Mrs P asks me to copy onto her laptop, all the pictures that I’ve taken over recent months, as well as those that have been shared with us via WhatsApp. She then diligently whittles them down into a manageable amount which we then print off and put in our photo album. Yes we’re of the generation that still likes to print off hard copies of photos and from time to time look at them nostalgically. We have several albums with photographs in chronological order and numerous frames placed around the house, filled with pictures of family. The bulk of the photos are 4x6 inches (10x15 cm). We use an online photo printing service for the majority of our pictures and visit a local store with a self-service photographic department to print off specific pictures for bespoke frames. The original photos, now neatly organised, are backed up and archived.
I take a lot of screen captures of video games and Windows apps, usually for blog posts. I use both Bandicam and Windows Snipping Tool to do this and have set up various hotkeys to make the process easy. Of late, the screen captures that I’ve taken have all suffered from washed out colours, regardless what tool I used to take them. I checked to see if both these apps needed to be updated but they are running the latest versions. Hence I was initially stumped as to why this problem had started happening. After some thought, I deduced that the only new elements in my PC hardware were my two new monitors. Both of which support HDR. Google Gemini quickly informed me that this was a known issue and taking screen captures from an HDR enabled device resulted in an excessively bright image that looked over exposed.
I recently bought two new monitors and a stand for my PC tower case. Today I thought I’d take the opportunity to disconnect every peripheral, clear my desk and then after a thorough clean, reassemble everything ensuring good cable management. I even went so far as to buy a new power extension lead so I could reorganise where everything was plugged in and therefore be able to isolate specific hardware. It seemed such a simple, straightforward task on paper. The reality was much different. It took me over three hours to sort out, mainly due to the fact that I don’t “bend” so well these days. During this Herculean task, my watch kept on notifying me that my heart rate was “high”. However, I regularly took breaks and fortified myself with gin for medicinal reasons. I am pleased with the results of this task.
I use two monitors with my PC, as I find having the additional screen “real estate” invaluable when writing or playing games. Both monitors that I’ve been using up to now are somewhat old and they are not exactly the same size or resolution, although both are FHD. I have previously written about the problems I’ve had trying to get certain games and programs to display on specific monitors and the lengths I’ve had to go to to resolve this issue. To cut a long story short, I recently decided to replace both monitors with larger models with a higher resolution. Mainly because my eyesight is not what it used to be. I see best when working with a bright screen that can produce clear text. New monitors would also address my ongoing screen output problem. Hence, I set myself a reasonable budget and began researching appropriate replacements.
In July the UK Government introduced the Online Safety Act which requires age checks for accessing sexually explicit content online. As a result of this, Pornhub, the 19th most visited site on the internet, has reported a 77% decline in UK traffic. Furthermore, according to the UK regulatory body, OFCOM (The Office of Communications), overall visits to pornographic websites from the UK have fallen by 33%. Naturally, those who championed this legislation are claiming a moral and political victory. However, once you consider what these facts actually mean, they paint a somewhat different and potentially more worrying picture. It would be staggeringly naïve to think that UK visitors to Pornhub have ceased visiting such sites due to the age verification requirements. The more likely explanation is that UK porn consumers are now using VPNs to circumnavigate these restrictions and that this traffic to Pornhub is now recorded as coming from elsewhere.
It may be a case of preaching to the Choir but dust contamination in your PC causes overheating, decreased performance, and potential hardware failure. This mainly occurs due to dust restricting airflow, impeding components such as heat sinks and creating short circuits from conductive particles. Fluff builds up and restricts cooling fans, forcing them to work harder. Heat build can lead to issues like system crashes, lagging, and even permanent damage to the motherboard and CPU. Over time, it can shorten the lifespan of the computer and in severe cases, poses a fire hazard. When I used to work in IT contracting, I used to see the effects of dust contamination all the time. PC placed on carpet tiles or on top of desks and surrounded by other objects. I remember one PC replacement project I was working on where we found an old PC with a dead mouse in it. It was desiccated by the heat.
Usually I don’t have a problem with internet access when Mrs P and I are travelling. My phone data plan is sufficient for Google Maps and social media usage. Once we reach our hotel, it’s just a question of connecting to the free Wi-Fi or if need be, buying upgraded access. It’s seldom that expensive. When I went on holiday to Croatia this summer, I bought a bespoke data plan before arriving that granted me extra internet access. Our hotel in Makarska also had very robust internet access. Hence, regardless of being out and about or by the pool, I never had any issues getting online. The ubiquity of internet access means we often take it for granted. I seldom go to places in the UK or abroad that don’t have advanced IT infrastructure. Until this week.
Back in January, I was very pleased because I had finally found some open source software, DisplayMagician, which allowed me to quickly and easily alter my display profile and run specific games and applications on my second monitor. Prior to this I would find that some programs just wouldn’t stay put, once they were dragged or otherwise cajoled to display on the monitor of my choice. They would continuously snap back to the primary display, regardless of my actions. DisplayMagician solved this issue and did so with aplomb. Or it did, until last weekend when I upgraded my PC from Windows 10 to 11. Then it stopped working. I therefore did some digging online and it became apparent that this is a known issue that is currently being addressed by its creator, Terry McDonald.
As part of our increasing dependency upon software, we have also grown accustomed to its associated foibles, especially the negative ones. Today, I upgraded my blog from Squarespace 7.0 to 7.1 and my PC operating system from Windows 10 to 11. I started early in the morning and ensured that all my personal data was backed up. My default expectation was that both processes would go wrong in some way, shape or form. Let’s take a moment to consider this mindset, which is born out of experience. It is now taken as read that whatever you upgrade, be it an app on your phone or a program on your PC, that it’s going to be problematic. It won’t be a seamless transition and you’ll end up having to do some sort of troubleshooting. Despite our lives becoming more dependent on such software, the quality of these products seems to be deteriorating. What a sorry state of affairs.
I felt that this years Blaugust: Festival of Blogging was a success and I personally enjoyed it a great deal. However, I also thought it prudent to seek the opinion of others who took part in the event, as ultimately that is what it’s all about. Hence I posted the Blaugust 2026 Participant Survey at the beginning of September and left it online for 3 weeks. The questions were straightforward and unambiguous. Did you enjoy the festival. Did you participate in the group writing prompts. Did you achieve your writing goals. Then there where questions about what additions, if any, you’d like to see added to Blaugust in the future. All pretty standard stuff for a post event questionnaire. Well the results have been analysed and here is a summary of the results. The intention is to see if there are any specific trends revealed in the feedback and to then discuss any potential course of action as a result. As ever feel free to leave comments below.