Death Line (1972)

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Late one night at the Russell Square station, university students Patricia (Sharon Gurney) and her American boyfriend Alex (David Ladd) find an unconscious man on the stairwell. Fearing that he may be ill, Patricia checks his wallet and finds a card that identifies him as James Manfred, OBE (James Cossins). They inform a police officer but when they return find that Manfred has vanished. Inspector Calhoun (Donald Pleasance) is assigned to look into the disappearance. He soon discovers that there are several similar “missing persons” cases. Calhoun's colleague tells him about the history of the London Underground, particularly how numerous Victorian construction workers were buried alive after a tunnel collapsed in 1892. Due to the construction company going bankrupt the rescue mission was abandoned. Is there a group of descendants who survived the cave-in, still alive and living below ground?

On paper the plot for Death Line (released in the US as Raw Meat) suggests a rather grubby and unpleasant exploitation horror film, common to that decade. However, although it is indeed stark, bleak and somewhat squalid, there is an unusual emotional depth to the story and an air of tragedy, mainly due to the unique performance of Hugh Armstrong as “The Man”. He is a murderer and a cannibal yet he is also a victim of circumstances. The scenes in which he desperately tries to tend to his dying, pregnant mate are both shocking yet inherently sad. And it is this melancholic aspect of the film that makes it so unique and certainly elevates it above standard genre material from this era. However, as well as intermittent pathos there is also some jolting violence. Director Gary Sherman has a knack for presenting injuries in a grimy, unflinching fashion. In one scene he slowly pans the camera around the lair of “The Man, gradually revealing several butchered corpses in various states of decay.

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Death Line is not content to just explore the concept of cannibalism and strays into several other subjects and themes. Inspector Calhoun’s investigation is hampered by the involvement of Stratton-Villiers (Christopher Lee) of MI5. It would appear that the missing James Manfred, OBE, is of some importance to the security services. Manfred is seen at the start of the film frequenting the various strip clubs of Soho and later trying to pick up a sex worker. Donald Pleasance’s somewhat eccentric performance of a working class policeman who has fought tooth and nail to climb the promotion ladder is also an interesting facet of the story. There is a delightful scene in a pub where the Inspector and Detective Sergeant Rogers (Norman Rossington) outstay their welcome and are ushered out by the landlord. It is a fascinating snapshot of how utterly drab many pubs were at the time and an accurate assessment of UK drinking culture.

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There are some weak aspects to Death Line, such as the rather unsympathetic lead protagonist, Alex, played by David Ladd. He’s cynical and lacking in empathy as so many heroes were in the seventies. He often comes across as being undeserving of his girlfriend Patricia. The film’s musical score by Wil Malone is deliberately discordant and somewhat experimental. The use of early synthesisers is interesting but may prove a little grating for some viewers. Yet the tragic premise of “The Man” does much to redress these flaws. The exploration of the London Underground network as it was at the time, is another compelling aspect of the film. The film ends on an ambiguous note with a remote voice, presumably “The Man”, shouting “mind the doors”. The only words he can say. Perhaps it’s a wider metaphor regarding how society has to continually reckon with the underclass it creates. It certainly sticks with you after the film has ended.

Lesnes Abbey Woods

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For the last week the UK has been enjoying some exceptionally warm weather with temperatures reaching 80 degrees Fahrenheit (27 degrees Celsius) and above, here in the South East. For our latest day trip Mrs P and I decided to go somewhere local to reduce driving time and allow us to make an early start. Both of us wanted to achieve our daily step count (10,000 steps which is approximately 5 miles) but be done by mid afternoon before the heat made such activities uncomfortable. So we decided to go to Lesnes Abbey Woods which has a well tended park, gardens and the remains of a 12th century Abbey. It also connects to the Green Chain Walk. We drove there as it is only about twenty minutes away by car. However, we subsequently discovered that a local bus stops right outside the main entrance, so will bear this in mind for future visits.

The Abbey of St Mary and St Thomas the Martyr at Lesnes, to use its original name, was founded in 1178 by Richard de Luci, Chief Justiciar of England. This may have been in penance for the murder of Thomas Becket, in which he was involved. It was one of the first monasteries to be closed after the Dissolution of the Monasteries in 1534 and the monastic buildings were all pulled down. Over time the site was a source of salvaged building materials for the local inhabitant. The estate became farmland before being purchased by London County Council in 1930. The land was then repurposed as a park and the stone outline of the Abbey and outlying buildings restored. In recent years the adjacent woodlands have been added to the park and maintained as part of the Green Chain Walk which runs throughout three London Boroughs.

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There are multiple entrances to the park in Abbey Road (not that one) and the surrounding  streets. To the West there is a substantial children’s playground and outdoor gym that are well maintained and safe. The Abbey ruins are in the centre of the park, along with a walled ornamental garden. There is also a visitors centre with amenities and a function hall that is available for hire. This venue often hosts events and activities for schools. The garden is another popular site for events such as book readings and performance art. The grounds are superbly maintained and the paths are wide, making them very family and wheelchair friendly. For those who enjoy walking there are multiple trails around the grounds and surrounding woods, of varying length and difficulty. There are wooden sculptures to be found along these paths as well as a prehistoric Tumulus.

I was most surprised to find a park and series of walks of this quality right on my own doorstep. Mrs P and I enjoyed Lesnes Abbey Woods immensely and tried several of the more complex trails that traverse the woods. The ruins are also very interesting and are a somewhat incongruous sight amid the surrounding suburban sprawl. The park and woods look out south over Thamesmead where Kubrick filmed A Clockwork Orange and there are now wind turbines along the Thames estuary. If it hadn’t been for the heat, we’d have stayed longer but the woods were quite humid due to the recent heavy rainfall, despite offering shade from the sun. We will certainly return in the not too distant future and investigate the trails we didn’t complete.

Keeping a Popular Franchise Relevant

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I’ve written in the past about “how long should a TV show run for” and it remains a very interesting talking point. An ageing cast and a played out formula are not uncommon problems that can lead to a popular show being cancelled. But some long standing TV dramas have different issues that can blight them. Such as overly complicated lore, a vocal fanbase and a need to stay relevant in a way that some other shows don’t have to worry about. Martin Belam has recently written a very good article about this subject. He cites Doctor Who as a show that is extremely fatigued at present and suggests that maybe taking it off air and having some time out may well be the solution to its “problems”. I agree with him. Not only with regard to Doctor Who but basically any TV or movie franchise that has become ubiquitous and therefore tired as a result.

Here are a few select quotes that I think are pertinent. Again these are specifically about Doctor Who but are equally applicable to comparable shows.

• “Sometimes it feels like the show is being buried under the weight of its own continuity”.

• “The decision to cast a woman as the Doctor has also meant the franchise became a pawn in the culture wars, further souring relationships in the fandom, and making the social media posts of the show’s creators and stars toxic to wade through”.

• “It feels as if it is telling an increasingly self-absorbed meta-story about its own run, accompanied by a very vocal online fandom that isn’t quite sure what it wants, but knows it doesn’t want this”.

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Doctor Who has been absent from our televisions in the past. It lost its way back in the middle to late eighties and was taken off air when audiences started declining. The sixteen year hiatus certainly made a difference and when it returned in 2005 it had totally reinvented itself and found exactly the right tone for a modern audience. James Bond is another prime example. The franchise has taken time out twice to rethink its direction. GoldenEye (1995) put the franchise back on track after the excesses of the Roger Moore era (The two Dalton movies were a change of tone too quickly). And Casino Royale (2006), possibly the best realisation of the character from the original text, made Bond relevant again after the franchise started losing ground to its competitors. However, taking a break doesn’t always guarantee an improved return. Dare I mention a certain franchise set in a galaxy, far, far away.

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It is easy to see why owning a popular franchise is appealing to a TV network or film studio. Once established they become known quantities that need to be managed and curated. Spinoffs offer potential new content and do not pose the same risk as completely new products. You only have to look at Disney + to see a textbook example of such portfolio management. The BBC is not in such a position with Doctor Who. It doesn’t have the finances unless it goes into business partnership with a third party. Such a collaboration could potentially reinvigorate the franchise. But there is also equal scope for it to go the other way. A major US backer would naturally want a product tailored to its domestic market. All things considered, if Doctor Who doesn’t rethink its current direction it is destined to repeat the same mistakes of the late eighties, become a caricature of itself and get cancelled. Perhaps it is better to jump, than be pushed. A short hiatus may well be the solution.

The Sea Wolves (1980)

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I have always had a soft spot for the action movies that Euan Lloyd produced in the late seventies and early eighties. The Wild Geese (1978), The Sea Wolves (1980), Who Dares Wins (1982) and Wild Geese II (1985). They were quite gritty and all had a strong cast of British character actors. Sadly some of them strayed into political issues with their stories and often got out of their depths. The Wild Geese ham-fistedly explores the political landscape of post colonial Africa and Who Dares Wins clumsily deals with terrorism and the concept of unilateral nuclear disarmament. Yet despite the somewhat school boy approach to geopolitics, the action scenes are well crafted (often by legendary Bond stunt arranger Bob Simmons) and the cast more than make up for any narrative failings. All four films also have charismatic soundtracks by Roy Budd. However The Sea Wolves differs from the other three movies in so far that it is set during World War II and is loosely based on real events. 

During World War II, many British merchant ships are being sunk by German U-boats. British intelligence, based in India, believe that the information is being passed to the U-boats by a radio transmitter hidden on board one of three German merchant ships interned in the neutral Portuguese colony of Goa. Lieutenant-Colonel Pugh (Gregory Peck) of the Special Operations Executive (SOE) is tasked with finding the German spy passing the shipping information and destroying the radio transmitter onboard the interned ships. Accompanied by fellow operative Captain Gavin Stewart (Roger Moore), the pair travel to Goa to attempt to capture a high level German spy known as Trompeta (Wolf Kahler). After he dies during a struggle, Pugh decides to make a daring raid on the interned ships in Goa harbour. Due to Portugal's neutrality SOE cannot use British troops. So Pugh asks Colonel W.H. Grice (David Niven), the commanding officer of a Territorial unit of British expatriates called the Calcutta Light Horse, if they would carry out the mission covertly. They all volunteer as they are all ex-service men and keen to 'do their bit'.

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The Sea Wolves is a very traditional high adventure movie directed by veteran filmmaker Andrew V. McLaglen. The film’s strength lies with its strong cast featuring the likes of Trevor Howard, Patrick Macnee and Patrick Allen. The script is functional and has occasional moments of droll dialogue, usually based around the age of the various old soldiers complaining about their aches and pains. The locations are interesting and the production design does a good job of recreating the period.  Furthermore, the miniature effects by Kit West and Nick Allder are top drawer and the action scenes are credible, well edited and entertaining. The Sea Wolves eschews the cliched cinematic conceit of the German cast speaking English, instead opting for authentic dialogue and subtitles. Yet despite many positive elements, the film drags during the turgid romance between Captain Stewart and divorcee (and German spy) Agnes Cromwell (Barbara Kellerman).

Roger Moore was 52 when he was cast in The Sea Wolves and he was clearly losing his boyish good looks. Yet the film industry still insisted upon casting him as a romantic lead. He continued with Bond well after his best before date and frankly it showed. In this instance his torrid affair is very much written in the idiom of the times and it is as dull as ditch water. The plot grinds to a halt during these scenes. Furthermore critics at the time made a big deal out of Gregory Peck’s English accent but I’ve heard far worse over the years and don’t consider it to be a deal breaker. It should be remembered that to finance such a British production Euan Lloyd needed a known star that would clearly appeal to the US market. Peck was such an actor and works well in the role. He certainly shines in his scene with David Niven who he worked with previously on The Guns of Navarone.

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Film’s about World War II proved a mainstay of the UK and US box office for over 30 years. However interest waned eventually as a new generation of cinema viewers, who were born in the post war years, became the principal audience. Films that have revisited this historical period since then have tended to take a more revisionist approach to the subject matter. The Sea Wolves is one of the last old school, “for King and country” style of action movie. Perhaps that is why it didn’t fare as well at the box office as other Euan Lloyd productions. He personally blamed this on the demise of co-financier Lorimar Pictures and their poor marketing. I think that audiences simply wanted something more contemporary, as proved by Who Dares Wins. Viewed with a modern perspective The Sea Wolves does seem somewhat dated in its tone. However, it can still prove entertaining and certainly offers an unusual story, set away from the European theatre of war.

Thoughts on Bereavement

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Yesterday, Saturday 17th July, was my late Father’s birthday. He would have been 92. As my granddaughters were staying over the day was upbeat, boisterous and fun due to their exuberance. Today as the bungalow returns to its normal levels of noise and excitement, I have spent some time quietly reflecting upon the nature of bereavement. When my father died last September I was focused upon the practicalities of arranging a funeral during a pandemic, ensuring that his estate was processed and that all possible provisions were made for my disabled 90 year old Mother. These things have now been done and it is only recently that I have had the time to process my own grief. The first Father’s Day (20th June in the UK) without him was naturally a milestone and his birthday has proven similarly so. However, today’s introspection has been beneficial and hence I felt the desire to write about him and share some thoughts on the nature of bereavement.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to portray my father as a “plaster saint” or place him on a pedestal. He was a mortal man and as such had all the strength and weakness that we all share. He certainly made no claim upon perfection. No, this post is more an attempt at some self therapy and a means for me to try and articulate how I miss him. Specifically, how I miss his company and talking to him. Because my Father’s ability to explain, tutor and impart knowledge is possibly his defining characteristic. He was a teacher by nature but not in an excessively didactic fashion. He had a knack for making things interesting. If you ever got him on a subject upon which he was knowledgeable and passionate he could hold forth in a most engaging fashion. It was like he had a delightful homemade pack lunch and he would happily share it with you. In this case the lunch was knowledge. As he got older, whenever you saw my Father at a family gathering he was always surrounded by nieces, nephews and such like while he made origami and answered their questions on life, the universe and everything.

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If you are fortunate, when you are young you see your Father as an indomitable force that cannot be bested. He knows all the answers to your homework, he can make things out of wood and can reverse a car like James Bond. When you become a teenager, that relationship changes and their old school values and the leather arm patches on their cardigans strike you as very old fashioned. When you finally get a job and take on some adult responsibility yourself, then you suddenly see them again in a totally new light. I certainly enjoyed my Father’s company the most in the last 15 years. The cliche about old wines can be true. We would talk and I found his insight to be at times quite profound. Unlike some from his generation he was not constrained by certain social attitudes and cultural baggage. Because he was an academic, logic, facts and reason ultimately won out. He adapted and even embraced modernity quite well and I admire him greatly for that.

In 2016 my Father suffered a series of strokes that robbed him of his independence and many of the things he loved best in life. He was by nature a bon viveur, enjoying good food and good company. He spent the last 5 years of his life fed by a PEG tube. He also could no longer read or use his computer to write acerbic letters to the tabloid newspapers. Yet he suffered these indignities with stoicism and remained as sharp as a tack, although he took longer to express himself. He became very philosophical during this time and our conversations were quite incredible on occasions. He managed to separate himself from his medical condition and analyse and reflect upon it calmly without rancour or recrimination. Sadly, the pandemic of 2020 used up the last of his stamina and he grew tired of his lot. I only saw him once in hospital before he died and although I fully appreciate why this was so, it still feels like an unsatisfactory resolution. 

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Bereavements are an inevitability for all of us. My Father had a good life by his own admission and many people do not make it to 91. He was more than ready to go and it would be crass and selfish for me to wish for him to have endured a little longer. However, his departure has left a gap in my life and it manifests itself in the absence of his good company and sage wisdom. I watched some classic Tom and Jerry cartoons recently from the golden era and I missed him chuckling along. But that seems to be in a nutshell the nature of the loss of a loved one. The wonderful memories that bring joy are immediately followed by a pang of grief and sadness. It’s a strange, symbiotic relationship between a shared past and the loss of the love that was its foundation. You can’t have one without the other. 

I think of my Father every day. He frequently pops up in conversations. Anecdotes are shared with loved ones and friends, along with a smile. And although it is both bitter and sweet simultaneously, I take comfort in the fact that it’s a marvellous legacy to leave behind. To be remembered with fondness is a good thing. In some foolish way, I feel that living on in the hearts and minds of those whose lives you have touched is a form of immortality. So I shall continue to miss my dear old Dad, as I used to refer to him as. Because, it is a constant reminder of the love we shared and the fact that he was a man, like so many others, that just tried to muddle through and do his best for those he cared for. I consider this to be a fitting epitaph and something to aspire to myself.

Incidental Emergent Gameplay

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According to Wikipedia, emergent gameplay refers to “complex situations in video games, board games, or table top role-playing games that emerge from the interaction of relatively simple game mechanics”. Emergent gameplay often can stem from the relatively simple decisions a player makes, the sum of which lead to more complex outcomes. It also can be created by adding multiple players to the same game environment or situation and having their individual actions impact upon the overall evolving situation. Or to put it another way, it is the human factor that comes with undertaking a task. For example, a story driven video game may offer the player a quest to travel to the valley of Constant Drizzle, vanquish the foul Myrmidons and reclaim the Heretical Grimoire of Colin. It is a very specific task with a binary outcome. But in an open world game without a pre-written story, the player has to find the aforementioned valley and their actions while exploring determine the fate of both the grimoire and the Myrmidons.

Emergent gameplay is a weighty subject and a source of heated debate about gamers. Some prefer to be able to traverse a virtual world and “make their own fun” as they go along. Certainly a game such as EVE Online is an exemplar for this. Other gamers prefer to have a clear story, quests hubs and an underlying game system that “guides” them from A to B. Personally I like aspects of both. However, I agree that emergent gameplay that organically arises from undertaking a simple task in video games, is a powerful experience. For some it is comparable or indeed preferable to traditional pre-written stories. If you’re an advocate for  emergent gameplay, then even a journey to the shops in real life has the potential for adventure. If you have children then this is definitely a “thing”. Doing chores with my 6 year old granddaughters can easily turn into a “quest”. Dragons may well lurk behind a garden hedge and there may be orcs hiding in the wheelie bins.

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Now the reason I’ve mentioned both emergent gameplay and the more scripted variety, is that I’ve found of late that neither kind is proving especially satisfactory. Sometimes the densely plotted quests of The Lord of the Rings Online are enthralling but on other occasions they’re dull and arbitrary. Especially the fetch quests and kill ten Gibbons variety. I have also found that going exploring in a game such a GreedFall has not been as satisfactory as it usually has. I suspect this may be down to some of the game content being a little mundane and also my general outlook on gaming at present. It is a major leisure activity for me and so one can suffer from gaming fatigue from time to time. However, sometimes it is the little things and the positively mundane that can delight you when gaming as I’ve recently discovered while playing Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag. And when they do they certainly reinvigorate your passion for gaming.

Big franchise RPGs such as Assassin’s Creed straddle both types of gameplay. The story is heavily scripted and very much on rails. But then there is a lot of open world busy work to be done, which you can do at your own leisure. It is the latter that has kept me engaged this week, due to what I describe as incidental emergent gameplay. IE my response to minor things going on around me in the game. The game is set in 1715 in the West Indies and has a nautical and pirate themed plot. There are side missions where you can hunt whales and sharks and I have found these particularly engaging. They have fairly simple mechanics and some ambient dialogue but the rest is pretty much up to the player. I’ve found that it is very easy to get lost in this activity. After successfully hunting a white whale, I found myself quoting both Herman Melville and Khan Noonien Singh.

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It is this incidental emergent gameplay on top of the main story and overall game design that keeps gamers hooked. I think if done well it can tip the scales so that an average game becomes a superior one. I love walking around Havana in Black Flag and listening to the ambient dialogue and activities of the NPC. Sailing the seas is also a compelling act in itself. Occasionally I encounter a pod of dolphins or see a whale breach the waves and it is really quite compelling. I’ve not encountered an RPG with such an engaging virtual world since The Witcher III. I think I understand now why some gamers feel the need to write about their ingame characters and create a backstory for them or pen their own stories. Emergent gameplay both directly and indirectly fuels the imagination and one’s sense of narrative. I don’t think I’ll be so dismissive of the concept from now on.

Policing Our Online Communities

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It would appear that Discord has a toxicity problem. No, I’m not at all surprised either. Online social platforms attract such issues by their very nature. Discord is far from unique in this respect and is simply the latest online service to join an ever growing list of social platforms to become a hotbed of iniquity. However, I do applaud them for their transparency. They regularly publish reports on the “state” of their service and they don’t try to hide the problem. In fact to combat the problem Discord have recently acquired Sentropy Technologies, who have developed an AI designed to combat toxic behaviour with its “data-driven moderation tools”. Naturally all parties have high hopes that they can tackle the issue. I, on the other hand, do not. Because technology alone is not the solution to the problem. It never is. Has facial recognition software, CCTV and biometric passports solved all the problems that they were supposed to? No they have not.

There are two major problems associated with any service that facilitates the social gathering of people online. The first is an old and very well known one. Anonymity. Discord, Twitter, Instagram and dozens of other platforms don’t really make any serious attempt to verify who you are. If you’re sufficiently tech savvy you can create an account for most services without providing any details that reveal your true identity. The moment you ensure anonymity you effectively forgo any semblance of accountant ability. The most that can happen is that your account gets closed. The second factor that has a bearing on the matter is size. When a community grows over a certain size, it becomes virtually impossible to police it with automated moderation tools and processes. Furthermore, people are very good at circumnavigating rules and regulations. All too often, unhackable get hacked and the impenetrable gets circumnavigated. It’s one of the reasons I’m not overly confident about Sentropy. 

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Although there are not any quick and easy solutions to these problems, I think there are steps we can take ourselves that can contribute to improving the quality of our online communities and keeping them equitable. Especially with regard to Discord servers which have become ubiquitous these days. These tend to start off as quite small and intimate environments that end up growing over time. However, if some basic procedures are put in place from the start you can keep them from spiralling out of control. The first is to have a clear set of rules and a code of behaviour. Set out what you will and won’t tolerate. That way offenders can never plead ignorance. Lead by example. Politely correct minor transgressions and don’t allow double standards. If a friend breaks the rules then treat them the same as those you don’t know as well. Consistency is key to establishing a fair system.

Secondly, have moderators and let your community know that you have moderators. Be proactive. If you see something that is anomalous and you’re not sure if it’s a joke or something more serious, then make enquiries. Be civil, seek clarification and if the problem was a false positive, then move on. However, if you have a bona fide offender that you caught “bang to rights”, then sanction them according to your rules. If they need to go, then show them the door. Tell them which rule they violated and the consequences of such an act. Then end the conversation and ditch them. You owe them nothing more. This is not a question of free speech. This is a private Discord server with a clear set of rules. And if you do have to dispense with someone, reference their departure to your community but don’t allow a debate about it.

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Sometimes, Discord servers can grow in popularity and managing invitations becomes an issue. Smaller servers are usually populated by friends inviting friends. Pre-existing social bonds tend to keep things cordial. However, such screening protocols become less robust the moment you allow open invitations. A possible compromise would be to have a system where an existing and established member of the Discord server has to vouch for anyone they invite. If they make a mistake and bring someone to the server who then becomes a problem, their invitation privileges are temporarily revoked. Bringing this minor level of accountability can prevent a potential faux pas. This particular approach has worked well in several of the MMO guilds I’ve joined over the years.

I don’t believe there’s any substitute for real online community policing. AIs may well be able to parse text and look for keywords and phrases. But often bullying and hectoring is a question of semantics and the deliberate use of ambiguous language that can be interpreted in several ways. I do not doubt that automated moderation tools will intercept ill humoured abuse from a young gamer who is hot under the collar. But will it really pick up on the subtle needling the lifelong malcontent and bully uses? I’m not so sure. However, human intervention also comes with its own set of problems. It is inherently labour intensive and no one wants to do it, as it’s quite a responsibility. And then you have to make sure that the person who has taken the job is not a closet sociopath themselves. But if we want to reclaim our online spaces then we have to show willing and someone has to shoulder the burden. It’s how we police our communities in the real world.

Thoughts on Blogging Part 14

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By the time that August rolls around this year, I will have been actively blogging and generally sharing my writing online for 14 years. Prior to that, back in the eighties, I was involved in the production of several fanzines. That was indeed a labour of love and although I was happy to write the content, the work involved in physically creating the actual pages was tough. The printing costs were also an early lesson in how writing is not an immediate path to fame and fortune. All things considered, writing has been a major aspect of my life for as long as I can remember. I used to enjoy writing stories as a child and then as I got older I discovered the pleasure of a well constructed essay. I was fortunate to have three very good English teachers during my time at school, who were passionate about their job and very encouraging.

Since the New Year I have struggled not so much with writing but more with my motivation to write. I don’t have a shortage of ideas. As ever there’s plenty to talk about. However, there seems to be an ongoing decline in longform posts, providing criticism and analysis. You’ll still find them on commercial websites such as Kotaku but they’re not so prevalent among the blogging community. Some bloggers do still tackle the big subjects and the controversies that so often accompany them but in my experience, lengthy thoughtful posts seem to be falling out of favour. Furthermore, due to the cyclical nature of popular culture and the various leisure industries, all too often you find yourself repeating yourself as a writer or covering familiar ground. The things that I enjoy and love to write about have become as partisan as other parts of public discourse, which does rob them of their charm.

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Hence, the current malaise I’ve experienced has had an impact upon my productivity. However my output has remained the same for the last six months. I usually write about 16 or so posts a month although I have recently started trying to maintain a daily schedule. However, since May I have noticed a noticeable drop in traffic to Contains Moderate Peril. Statistics are not my primary motivator when it comes to my writing but they do play a part. It is reassuring to know that posts are being read and that an audience does exist. However, after giving this matter some thought, I think the drop in traffic is due to people returning to their formal places of work and rather than losing pageviews, the numbers are simply returning to pre COVID-19 levels. So in the last week or so I’ve felt more positive about writing. I have especially enjoyed a couple of posts that I’ve written that just seem to pour out of me without any problems. 

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Today the Blaugust 2021 Festival of Blogging was formally announced. I shall compose a more comprehensive blog post “bigging up” this enjoyable community activity in the next few days. However, it has already had a positive effect as new members have signed up to the event and also joined the Discord server. Meeting new writers and sharing ideas is a major shot in the arm and provides a lot of encouragement and motivation for all concerned. It is important to encourage more people to write and express themselves as it is an invaluable life skill. Plus there is a natural attrition that happens within the blogging community. Writing is a commitment that takes time and effort and real life often competes with both of those things. Hopefully this year’s Festival of Blogging will be well attended and received, drawing attention to the merits of writing, ensuring that our community continues to survive.

Playing Older Games on Modern Monitors

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When I initially think of the late 90s or early 2000s, I don’t immediately realise they’re that long ago. That’s probably due to my age and being born in 1967. However, when I do the mental arithmetic, the march of time becomes quite apparent. Technology can change quickly and often does. Prior to the mid-2000s, most video games utilised relatively low-resolutions and the default aspect ratio was usually 4:3 due to the CRT monitors that were in common use at the time. If you try to play such vintage games on a modern HD, UHD or Ultra Wide monitor you’re going to end up with an image that is either stretched or  with black bars on the sides of the screen. There are also going to be issues resulting from low-resolution graphics and textures as well. However both of these problems can be addressed by freely available internet resources.

Not every game gets a remaster or a full blown remake. Fortunately the PC gaming community, being a resourceful one, fills the gaps with numerous “unofficial” patches created by gifted amateurs. These allow for widescreen aspect ratios and higher resolutions that are not native to the original games to run successfully. After searching for a while online, a single site emerged that appears to have by far the most resources available in one place. The Widescreen Gaming Forum, as the name suggests, is an online community that compiles patches for various games into a browsable database. All patches have comprehensive download and installation instructions along with notes verifying what resolutions they support. The patches are often updated to reflect changes in game build or newer screen resolutions. 

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16:9

I was looking specifically for a solution for Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag which was released in late 2013. Although the game does support my primary monitor’s resolution of 1900 x 1200, which is an aspect ratio of 16:10, it still displays at 16:9 creating black bars on the top and bottom of the screen. Apparently Ubisoft is renowned for forcing this aspect ratio in earlier versions of its big releases. Thankfully a solution for this particular problem was quickly found on the forum and a suitable patch applied. The change was successful and now I can play the game at 1900 x 1200 without any masking. It is not what I would call a major change to the game but I found the black bars distracting. I much prefer the entire monitor screen to be filled. I have some older games that have a 4:3 ratio and I‘m very curious to see how well they fare when patched to support a wider format.

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16:10

With regard to the other issues surrounding older video games, such as low resolutions graphics, the lack of antialiasing and blurry textures I would recommend using the Nexus Mods website. There are thousands of mods and addons for both contemporary and older video games. This includes a lot of resources that are specifically designed to help older titles run on modern hardware. The Game Pressure website also has some useful files for older titles. And the forums for the online retailer Good Old Games can often point you in the right direction for finding mods and patches to drag old classic titles, kicking and screaming into the twenty-first century. Not every game can be patched to run on Windows 10 but it is certainly worth investigating, if it affords you the opportunity to return to a my beloved classic. In the meantime at least I don’t have to endure the wrong aspect ratio on Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag.

NB. I previously touched on this subject in a post two years ago, when I installed the original version of Mafia. I wrote a post on the ensuing fine tuning required to run the game “correctly”.

Assassin’s Creed (2016)

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On paper, a video games franchise such as Assassin’s Creed lends itself perfectly to a cinematic adaptation. The parkour action scenes, the historical settings and the contemporary conspiracy theory themes are all elements that should play well with a modern youth audience. Hence with the backing of a major studio such as Twentieth Century Fox and a budget of $125 million, the 2016 movie should have been a guaranteed box office hit. The casting of Michael Fassbender, an actor who is comfortable with serious roles and big Hollywood franchises, should have carried this film comfortably over the finishing line. Director Justin Kurzel, who had found critical success with his adaptation of MacBeth a year previously, must have looked like a safe pair of hands to handle such a project. Sadly, that was not the case. Assassin’s Creed is not the sum of its parts, in fact many elements appear to be pulling in opposite directions. The resulting feature film is staggeringly dull, soulless and a chore to watch. A testament to how modern big budget franchise movies have become a production line, with all the art stripped from them.

Convicted murder, Callum Lynch (Michael Fassbender), is sentenced to death by lethal injection in a prison in Texas. He awakes from his execution to find himself very much alive and in a high tech research laboratory in Madrid, run by the Abstergo Foundation and its sinister CEO Alan Rikkin (Jeremy Irons). Dr. Sofia Rikkin (Marion Cotillard) explains to Cal that she wishes to access inherited memories hidden in his DNA, of his ancestor Aguilar de Nerha, who was a member of the Assassins Brotherhood in 15th Century Spain. Abstergo Industries is actually funded and controlled by the Templars, an ancient order that has been at war with the Assassins Brotherhood for centuries. They seek the Apple of Eden, an artefact that holds the code to humanity’s ability for free will, which they seek to control. Cal is placed in the Animus, a machine which allows him to relive (and the scientists to observe) Aguilar's genetic memories, so that Abstergo can learn what he did with the Apple. Aguilar was previously charged with protecting the artefact from Templar Grand Master Tomas de Torquemada.

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Within minutes of the film’s opening sequence which is set in 1492 Andalusia, the muddy colour palette and swooping camera it becomes clear that Assassin’s Creed has been shot using all the visual styles and editing techniques that are currently in vogue. It is the sort of movie where all concerned are far more enamoured by the aesthetic they have created rather than presenting the audience with a coherent and engaging narrative. Naturally, the production design and visual effects are top draw as you would expect from a mainstream film with this sort of budget. Yet the entire movie is presented in a singularly unappealing fashion and unfolds in a ponderous manner. The colours are muted, the camera refuses to stay still, inducing a sense of motion sickness. The editing is so rapid it often renders the onscreen action incomprehensible and the imagery strikes hard upon the senses. It is also clear that the film has chosen this technique to mask and reduce the levels of violence, so it can maintain the desired PG-13 rating.

There are three writers credited with the screenplay for Assassin’s Creed. Michael Lesslie, Adam Cooper and Bill Collage. Yet despite their efforts the story is perfunctory and the central characters are utterly forgettable. Action movies never used to be like this. In 1981 Raiders of the Lost Ark featured a wealth of interesting, enjoyable characters and the screenplay was savvy, filled with knowing genre references and droll, hard boiled dialogue. There is none of that here and a cast of solid actors are saddled with the most arbitrary of expository dialogue. Brendon Gleason has a cameo as Michael Fassbender’s Father. The relatively short role is supposed to provide an emotional epiphany within the story and create a sense of pathos but it is devoid of any dramatic resonance. It simply serves as an expostionary scene to move the story on. As for the more philosophical aspects of the plot regarding free will and determinism, these are abandoned immediately after they are mentioned.

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Assassin’s Creed offers several clear nods to its source material. The costume design, hidden blades, parkour and historical setting certainly tap into the vibe of the first two games. The realisation of the Animus is also creative. Yet irrespective of the money and talent that is involved in the production, the film is staggeringly unexciting. In many ways it is a textbook example of all the artistic failings of corporate film making these days. Too much of our popular entertainment, be it music, TV or film are generic and made to an established formula. 40 years ago summer blockbusters were not only commercially successful but artistically created with flair and panache. The homogenous nature of their modern counterparts robs them of any unique personality of their own. For example, Assassin’s Creed runs for nearly 2 hours and features a musical score by Jed Kurzel that is essentially forgettable. I still recall the impact that James Horner’s soundtrack for Krull (1983) had upon me when I first saw it and it remains a personal favourite all these years later

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Assassin’s Creed made a total profit of $240,697,856 internationally. It nearly doubled its investment yet was deemed a box office failure by those that financed it. A similar mindset is prevalent in the video game industry. Expectations regarding profit are often ambitious to say the least. Considering how poor the final movie is, I suspect that the entire project was a litany of continuous interventions by focus groups and sub-committees. So in many ways the studios are the architects of their own problem. To those who have a serious interest in cinema and are curious to see an example of when a film inherently fails on all levels, I would recommend Assassin’s Creed as a point of study. Beyond this niche market analysis, I cannot think of any positive points for the benefit of the casual viewer. Avid fans of the games will more than likely be disappointed as there is no exploration of their themes beyond the very superficial. Perhaps the failure of Assassin’s Creed will at least encourage the industry to rethink its approach to such movies and the wider action genre.

Diaries

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There has been a great tradition of keeping diaries and journals for many centuries. Though they may seem at first glance, mundane, unimportant and even self indulgent they are extremely valuable historical documents. Compared to other source material, diaries are often unambiguous and can indirectly reference a wealth of important detail, providing a useful overview of the world at the time of writing. They reflect the perspective of ordinary people and everyday life, unencumbered by wider considerations faced by historians. For example, consider the diaries of Samuel Pepys or Anne Frank. There are also a lot of personal benefits to keeping a diary. They can help improve self-awareness, your memory and metacognition. They also provide stress management, reduce procrastination and have a positive effect upon one’s mental wellbeing.

The reason I mention all this is because I found a diary of mine recently, while going through my later Father’s paperwork. It was for the year 1977, when I was 9 years old. Needless to say, it was my Father’s idea for me to keep a diary. He felt it would improve my English skills and be “fun”. I personally didn’t have any inclination to do such a thing and I did so under duress. This becomes more apparent as the year progresses and the entries become shorter, less informative and increasingly indicative of a child who has no interest in what they’re doing. However, even as it is, I genuinely believe that there is some useful information to be found in my diary, although it is not there by intent. I frequently obliquely refer to things that were commonplace at the time, which are quite different now. The other thing that’s clear is that my family and I were very much a product of the times.

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So exactly what revelations are hidden in my diary entries? Well being nine, naturally my school routine is referenced frequently. What stands out immediately is that corporal punishment was still common place in 1977. I refer to the Headmaster, Mr Green, caning several boys “who were naughty”. He would on occasion patrol the corridors of my junior school with a cane under his arm if he felt there was “mischief in the air”. Looking back now and assessing Mr Green with the eyes of an adult he was a Belfast Orangeman and militant protestant. He was often condescending to the female teachers and held exactly the sort of attitudes you’d expect from such a person from such a background at that point in time. Another interesting aspect of school which differs from now is the approach to exams and assessments. At the end of each term there were intelligence (IQ), mathematics and  English tests. The results were read out in class in order of success, so everyone was acutely aware of the abilities of their peers.

In 1977 there were only three terrestrial TV channels available in the UK. Those channels did not run 24 hours a day and VCRs were not yet commonplace. Hence TV was considered a bonus leisure activity from a child’s perspective. I reference in my diary how I would rush home from school to watch Time Tunnel. I also mentioned watching The Six Million Dollar Man and Charlie’s Angels. However, reading was a major pastime and I would do so some nights instead of watching TV. Going to the library was a ritual and a source of great pleasure. One entry expresses my excitement of managing to secure three Asterix books. I also spent my pocket money on books. I would sometimes accompany my Father on a Saturday, while he did chores such as going to the butchers and paying the paper bill. Sometimes we’d visit a genre oriented book shop in Welling called The Edge of Forever. My Father would buy books by Isaac Asimov or Arthur C. Clarke, while I’d spend my money on Doctor Who novels (which were adaptations of episodes).

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Going away on holiday during the summer was not a common occurrence for my family. My Father was refurbishing the house, a room at a time and hence this is where the household finances were focused. However, 1977 was an exceptional year and  we spent 10 days on the Isle of Wight in a rental cottage. On mature reflection the self catering holiday was hardly a break for my Mother but the change of scene was welcome. It rained for 4 of the 10 days but we still managed to do quite a lot (although that is a relative term). I enjoyed the Blackgang Chine theme park and was traumatised by the spooky wax museum at Brading. The museum is now a pub and a restaurant but Blackgang Chine is still open. I saw a recent video of it on YouTube and it’s exactly the same. The diary notes that I lost a frisbee that was bought for me and was subsequently beaten. Raising a child in the seventies involved a surprising amount of casual violence.

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My diary also reflects the social etiquette and culture of the UK at the time. For example my Father wouldn’t start mowing the lawn on a Sunday until after 11:00 AM. Sunday was a very dull day from a child’s perspective because nothing was open and it very much felt like the world had dropped down a gear. Reading through the year’s entries it becomes clear that myself and my sister were very self sufficient and made a lot of our own entertainment. We did go out as a family to parks, museums and such like during the school holidays but it was incumbent upon us not to bother the adults and expect to be entertained constantly. The phrase “I’m bored” was forbidden in our household as my Father would say “an intelligent mind is never bored”. The diary also mentions how in April we went to see the remake of King Kong. This is interesting insofar as it shows the time delays between international releases dates. The film was screened in the US in December 1976.

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Children these days are superficially very worldly. The TV and internet brings them face to face with all the glories and iniquities of humanity as soon as they’re capable of looking at a screen. My diary entries reflect a less busy time and casts me in a very earnest light. I was a child and content to be one, judging by what I wrote. School was not a struggle for me and I did well academically at this point in my life. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed swimming but it appears to be an important part of my life, according to what I’ve written. I did guffaw hard at one particular entry in which I had a stomach ache after a meal and my Mother said with classic parental wisdom and authority that it was because I talked too much while eating. My diary also shows me how fortunate I have been and that by the standards of the time, I had a very happy childhood with two loving and supportive parents. Not everyone is fortunate.

Euro 2020 and Political Bandwagons

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We live in unique and unparalleled times in which public figures can make a clear and unambiguous critical statement on Monday and then completely contradict themselves by the end of the week. Perhaps the saddest aspect of this recent shift in political discourse is the way we the UK public blithely accept it. It’s become so commonplace that we no longer treat it as a “WTF?” moment. The politically savvy shrug it off with a sigh as the latest tactic in the ongoing culture wars, while the credulous willingly go along with this premeditated reshaping of reality because their side is “owning the liberals”. It makes me cringe as I type these words but this is what political and social discourse has come to in the UK. It is no longer about competing political ideologies or strongly held principles but just trite, tribal loyalties. Many political commentators refer to this process as the “footballfication” of politics.

If you wish to see a textbook example of this process then look no further than the Euro 2020 tournament which reaches its final today. For those who live outside of the UK, I cannot stress enough how integral football is to the country's popular culture and national identity. It is a staple of public discourse serving multiple purposes. It is a convenient conduit for nationalism when needed and at other times a microcosm of the tabloid press’ negative obsession with class, racism and the objectification of women via WAG culture. Football is a multi billion pound industry that simultaneously infuriates and delights both its fans and the national commentariat. Hence the delayed UEFA European Football Championship has arrived at exactly the right time, offering an opportunity for national catharthcism after the ravages of COVID-19 and the perfect platform for the worst sort of tubthumping nationalism from the incumbent government.

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However, before focusing upon today’s final between England and Italy, let’s take a moment to reflect upon the nation’s perspective of the “beautiful game” a month ago. There was a great deal of popular press and public pushback after the recent England vs Croatia match in June when the England squad “took a knee” before the game started. Some sections of the crowd booed their own team. Several government ministers such as the Home Secretary Priti Patel and numerous serving MPs took to social media to criticize the England team for daring to express any sort of political opinion (despite being registered voters). And the popular press (that is 80% right leaning in the UK) queued up to hector the players for “lecturing them”. Mind you that is a national pastime. Much of what passes for sports journalism in the UK is just a vehicle to attack white working class players and impugn those of ethnicity.

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So that was the lie of the land just under a month ago. Today we find ourselves as a nation in the unusual position of England being in the final of a major international tournament, with a genuine chance of winning. A national team that in previous years has been disconnected, and poorly managed has now been transformed into a cohesive and viable squad. Both manager and the team have taken public criticism on the chin and faced the sling and arrows of outrageous fortune with fortitude and dignity. I am not in any way a sports fan and am not qualified to offer an in-depth analysis but something different has occurred this time round and it is noticeable. All involved have obviously felt they have something to prove and to quote the great Sam Gamgee “you have shown your quality, sir - the very highest”. However, this situation has now presented a bandwagon and we now have to endure the unseemly spectacle of the very worst of us trying to follow in the wake of the very best.

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On Wednesday England beat Denmark and all the usual suspects went into full Shaggy mode (as in the song “It wasn’t me”) and instantly reversed their position from that of three weeks ago. Hence the Home Secretary trotted out her insincere support for the England team on social media, despite the fact she is currently spearheading legislation that would potentially have kept many of the squad’s parents from entering the UK. And several tabloid press rabble rousers suddenly became very enthusiastic and generous with their praise. But perhaps the most sickening in its inherent moral bankruptcy was the pitiful display by our current Prime Minister Boris Johnson. A man whose career has been defined by his complete lack of belief in any idea, concept or institution other than his own advancement, gurning as he desperately tried to associate himself with something positive. Populist politics has no truck with culture but will happily attach itself to it like a parasite, when it is expedient to do so.

What concerns me the most is whatever the outcome of today’s final, there is political gain to be had either way. Such is the beauty of a cleft stick. Either end can be used to beat you. In a perfect world an England win would be a shot in the arm to all genuine football fans and a moral boost to a nation that has been down by both COVID-19 and Brexit. But we live in a very imperfect world and an England win would also provide ammunition, bragging rights and propaganda for the current government and their side of the culture wars. It could be used to bolster the lies about “Global Britain” and add fuel to the fire of British exceptionalism (by which Johnson really means English exceptionalism). Conversely, a loss could aid the rights victim mentality and the specious notion that poor old Blighty is being persecuted by Johnny Foreigner, especially that mean EU. And irrespective of either outcome, political capital is a short lived gain. Within weeks the status quo would return and professional footballers would be relegated back to their status of pampered billionaires or the questionable sons of criminals by those exiting the bandwagon.

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There have always been political bandwagons as they are useful vehicles to focus the ongoing national narrative on simple, binary issues. They are by nature lazy, knee jerk exercises in the worst sort of political and social bun fighting but they get traction. We currently have a government that was elected on a lie and that does not have any tangible vision for the country beyond their own nebulous soundbites. Therefore the bandwagon is an increasingly useful tool, especially Euro 2020, with its additional nationalist perspective. Astute political commentators have suggested that most of the UKs woes stem from the fact that it just hasn’t found a role for itself in the modern world and that it clings too much to its past. Some have gone as far to say that perhaps the nation only voted for Brexit as a means to feel good about itself and that this could be served just as well by winning a football tournament.

You cannot keep politics out of sport. Wherever there is money, athletes from all walks of life and a mass audience often drawn heavily from specific socioeconomic groups you will inevitably get expressions of political allegiance and ideology. Sometimes these views will be divergent and factional within sport itself. However, sometimes using such a platform as sport can be very powerful as Marcus Rashford discovered in 2020 with his campaign for free school meals during the lockdown. This is something that politicians both fear but also find alluring. They fear it because they are terrified of youth and its often honed sense of morality. These things are alien to them and they cannot control them. But they are attracted to the reach that sports men and women have and they covet it. So it is no surprise why so many of the political and chattering classes are currently circling Euro 2020 waiting to either feast on the remains of a defeat, or soar upon the thermals coming from a  fevered victory. We’ll know which one by tomorrow.

The Sparks Brothers (2021)

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The music business is a strange, interesting and broad church. A spectrum of musical styles and personalities all fulfilling the needs of different markets. There are pop stars who are buoyant but ephemeral. Then there are singer/songwriters who take their work seriously as they express their critique of the human condition via their music. There are also style icons, novelty acts, indie bands, lounge crooners and a myriad of other niche acts, all doing their own thing. And occasionally there are enigmas. Artists and bands that fly in the face of prevailing trends and commercial interest, who do consider their work to be an artistic endeavour and an expression of themselves and as such, do not see the virtue of personal compromise or corporate interests. Esoteric musicians who reinvent themselves continuously as they grow and age. Constantly defying the expectations of both their own fans and naysayers. Sparks are such a musical entity and the subject of a fascinating documentary by director Edgar Wright.

Sparks, created by brothers Ron and Russell Mael, are musical chameleons. During the course of their five decade long career they have flirted with rock, synth pop and the art song but always in their own unique and idiosyncratic way. They’re the very definition of a cult band who have often charted a course parallel to that of mainstream music. Yet their influence is far reaching as they very much appear to be “your favourite band’s favourite band”. The Sparks Brothers attempts to explore all these things in an energetic and surprisingly droll fashion. Director Edgar Wright, explains their appeal in part by emphasizing its essential nebulous and arcane nature. The documentary follows a simple chronological path from the brothers early life and first forays into music then continues to delineate their seminal albums and changes of musical direction over the ensuing years. Ron and Russell are clearly intelligent, talented and conscious of their own enigma. They are also very witty and personable. There are no divas here, just hardworking disciplined artists, intent on doing their thing.

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Sparks’s public image is clearly defined and is possibly one of few constants about the duo. It is also one of contrasts. Vocalist Russell’s athletic physique, flowing locks and matinee-idol looks are contrasted by brother Ron and his gangrel deportment, deadpan countenance and Brilliantined hair. He has always sported a moustache that is somewhere between that of  Charlie Chaplin and Adolf Hitler. Russell’s falsetto voice and energetic on stage antics are further offset by Ron’s static performance as he sits at his keyboard exuding a miasma of curious strangeness. During the course of their career the brothers have made genuinely creative videos and their stage shows have bordered on performance art. Hence they have an appeal that reaches across musical genres and sexual demographics. All while singing about Sherlock Holmes, breasts and other eclectic subjects. Over the years their music has featured rock guitar riffs, synth arpeggios and infuriatingly catchy baroque song structures that draw upon classical composers such as Bach and Beethoven.

One of the most interesting aspects of The Sparks Brothers is the way the guest talking heads try to assess them and express their befuddlement at trying to pin them down. Nick Heyward candidly states “I thought they didn’t really exist” after he saw them in the flesh, out and about. Jonathan Ross describes their uniqueness and how they eschewed the traditional band image. “They look like people who’ve been sort of let out for a day”. Franz Ferdinand lead singer, Alex Kapranos, touches upon a commonly held misconception about the band “I always thought Sparks were a British Band” mainly because it seemed unlikely that the US could spawn an act so eccentric. The Sparks Brothers successfully sheds some light on the duo, who despite their European sound and anglophile nature were raised in California. Russell was surprisingly a high-school quarterback. Their father, an artist, seems to have had a major influence upon the brothers instilling a love of music, cinema and art. He tragically  died when Ron was 11 and Russell 8.

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Edgar Wright, the director of quirky and intelligent films such as Shaun of the Dead and Baby Driver is eminently suited to document and dissect a band such as Sparks. In many ways they are kindred spirits and therefore both have a strong understanding of each other. Wright also has a proven track record of understanding music as he has used it so intelligently in his body of work. He manages to look beyond the band’s eccentric schtick and gets some very honest opinions out of them. They’re surprisingly unpretentious despite their somewhat esoteric body of work. They just think that music is more than just a disposable commodity and it is frankly very refreshing the way they constantly strive to do something different. They certainly do not seem to be disposed toward resting upon their laurels or retiring anytime soon.

The Sparks Brothers may be a little long for the casual viewer. Some may tire of the celebrity endorsements and find it a little borderline “lovies, darlings” but I would counter that with the relevance of being recognised and admired by your peers, rather than mainstream media. I deem one to be more significant and genuine than the other. The documentary references many of their best songs and I was surprised at how many I was directly or subconsciously familiar with. I even bought a 3 CD “best of” boxset as a result. Even if you’re not completely sold on the Mael brother’s brand of music, I can wholeheartedly recommend the documentary just as a study on genuine creativity and artistic integrity. Both are rare commodities these days. And for your edification, here is the song Something for the Girl With Everything which is pretty much Sparks in a nutshell. The tune is catchy but unusual and the lyrics are a psychologist's dream.

Something for the girl with everything
See, the writing's on the wall
You bought the girl a wall
Complete with matching ball-point pen
You can breathe another day
Secure in knowing she won't break you (yet)

Something for the girl with everything
Have another sweet my dear
Don't try to talk my dear
Your tiny little mouth is full
Here's a flavour you ain't tried
You shouldn't try to talk, your mouth is full

Something for the girl with everything
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Bearing gifts to aid amnesia
She knows everything
She knows everything
She knew you way back when you weren't yourself

Here's a really pretty car
I hope it takes you far
I hope it takes you fast and far
Wow, the engine's really loud
Nobody's gonna hear a thing you say

Something for the girl with everything
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Where should they leave these imported gimmicks
Leave them anywhere, leave them anywhere
Make sure that there's a clear path to the door

Something for the girl with everything
Something for the girl with everything
Something for the girl with everything
Something for the girl with everything
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here

Here's a partridge in a tree
A gardener for the tree
Complete with ornithologist
Careful, careful with that crate
You wouldn't want to dent Sinatra, no

Something for the girl who has got everything,
Yes everything
Hey, come out and say hello
Before our friends all go
But say no more than just hello
Ah, the little girl is shy
You see of late she's been quite speechless, very speechless
She's got everything

Aargh, Game Controllers

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According to a famous old adage, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. I wholeheartedly refute this as that has not been my personal experience in life. Over the last decade or so I have learned several new technical skills. As a carer to disabled parents, I’ve also learned to be more patient in recent years. And having grandchildren teaches you a thing or two. So I don’t buy into the concept that once people have reached a certain age, they become fixed and immutable by nature. Life presents a continuous opportunity for self improvement. Or to render all this philosophical musing down to a point relevant to this blog post, despite being a PC gamer since the late nineties and habitually using a keyboard and mouse, I have in recent years managed to adapt to using a game controller. To a degree. And that caveat is the point of contention.

Some games, especially those that are direct console ports, are by default designed to be played with a game controller. I can usually navigate the controls via a keyboard but find that driving vehicles or riding a mount is best done with a game controller. Steering, accelerating and braking using WASD and other keys tends to be awkward. Using the left thumbstick or  the D-pad to turn and the right trigger to increase speed is both comfortable and intuitive. Therefore, until recently, this compromise of using a combination of both keyboard and mouse along with a game controller has proven successful. On a few occasions there have been games such as Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout which I have played exclusively using a game controller. However, and there is always a however, I have recently run into problems with one game. Namely Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag, which I have been playing on the Nintendo Switch.

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In essence the biggest problem I have with this game is using the left thumbstick in conjunction with the right trigger (RZ) to do freerunning and parkour. I find the thumbstick to be very sensitive and struggle with oversteering. If you collide with walls or any other object you then proceed to scale them. Plus if I press too hard on the thumbstick (L3) and push it directly down, it toggles Eagle Vision which changes the entire UI and further impedes navigation. Naturally, I thought that these problems could be overcome if I practised. Sadly after a week stuck on the same simple mission in which I have to chase a pickpocket at the start of the game, I have made no progress. Perhaps I just have a blind spot regarding this problem but I just cannot adequately control my avatar’s movements. As a compromise I looked at the viability of remapping keys or using an alternative controller configuration. The Switch doesn’t appear to support either of these.

Hence, after hitting such an impasse I’ve decided to stop playing this particular game on the Nintendo Switch. As parkour is such an integral part of the game, if I cannot effectively do it, then it seems somewhat ridiculous to continue. However, that is not to say that I am abandoning Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag. I managed to pick up a CD key for the PC version for under £8 and am going to give it another go using keyboard and mouse. Because I don’t want to be excluded from a game due to this obstacle. Perhaps I could improve at playing with a game controller if I sank even more time into practising. But I bought a game to be entertained, not to embark upon the lengthy retraining of both my spatial and coordination skills. Sometimes cutting your losses is far wiser than beating your head upon a wall. Henceforward, I shall resume my former relationship with game controllers.

Explaining Your Passion

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I had “the conversation'' the other day. Not the one about where babies come from, the other one. You know, the one where another adult realises that you play video games and is utterly flummoxed by such a thing. Yes, this tedious shit still happens. However, as someone who tries to be civil to others, I feel it incumbent upon me to try and give a concise response when faced with such questions. In some respects being confronted with a situation like this actually offers an opportunity to educate someone who is culturally ignorant about the popularity and significance of video games. Hence, there is a sense of obligation, as an unofficial ambassador for video games, to try and be coherent, plausible and not come off as a nut job. So, with all this in mind, how exactly do you explain your passion for something to someone who finds it utterly alien and probably has some inherent prejudice against it?

I would hazard a guess that most people would start by giving a verbal overview on the merits of gaming. However, fans often cannot see the woods for the trees, so there’s a good chance that this approach could result in a lengthy diatribe, which fails in its good intentions and leaves one of the two individuals involved with their eyes glazed over. Can you guess which one? Another approach may be to try and introduce this fictitious friend who is curious about gaming to some of the professional coverage that is provided by the press. I’m not talking about those tabloid, knee jerk articles with their sensational headlines. I mean reference the fact that most major news sites review video games as they do movies and provide industry analysis. Mind you, this also comes with its own set of problems, as some of it can be an esoteric and niche market. It may only further bewilder and confuse, rather than illuminate. Plus the games media itself can at times be extremely blinkered and unwelcoming.

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Some peoples reaction when they discover you play video games

I think the best way to explain to a gaming muggle is to directly show them what it is you love about gaming. By that I don’t mean just demonstrate one of your favourite titles but make clear to them how you personally experience it. Highlight the positive aspects that are common to other hobbies and pastimes, such as the social interactions and the friendships. Gaming is truly international, affording opportunities to meet online and build relations with people all over the world. Reference the associated blogging community and those that produce content about gaming as this can also help promote gaming in a positive way. The parallels that video games share with sports fandom may also work in your favour. The key is to break the stereotype of the gamer being an antisocial person indulging in something that has negative connotations. It also doesn’t do any harm to show how gaming can be a force for good by the way both developers and gamers undertake charitable work.

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The tabloid press love video games

My suggestions are by no means comprehensive and I’m sure you can think of plenty of additional ideas yourself. As ever with any sort of human interaction, you need to adjust your pitch according to the situation and who you are talking to. Yet if each of us can manage to change at least one person's mind about gaming, assuming you ever find themselves questioned as I were, perhaps we can say goodbye to the trite depiction of gamers that still prevails in certain parts of the media. Please note that I am not advocating proactive evangelising of video games to non gamers whether they want to know or not. Sometimes it is far more sensible and safer to compartmentalise your life and not share too much about yourself with work colleagues etc. However, there are some people who are genuinely curious about things outside of their own experience, who are open to re-evaluating their opinions. So if they ask, then do your best to explain.

300: Rise of an Empire (2014)

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300: Rise of an Empire is a curious beast, being neither a sequel nor a prequel. It is infact a tale that takes place simultaneously with those of the original movie. While Gerard Butler is busy making a last stand at the Battle of Thermopylae, fellow warrior and politician Themistokles, played by the singularly uncharismatic Sullivan Stapleton, leads a similar army of buffed Greeks against the Persian fleet. Once again we have a movie that is the epitome of style over substance, complete with a sound design that challenges what can physically be endured by human hearing. They say the first casualty of war is innocence but in this type of movie it's closely followed by historical accuracy and authentic depictions of ethnicity.  300: Rise of an Empire is a cinematic assault upon the senses but not in a good way like Mad Max: Fury Road.

Since the release of the original 300 back in 2007, the aesthetic created by Zack Snyder has been heavily replicated elsewhere. Although it was quite innovative at the time, reflecting the original style of Frank Miller's graphic novel, it is now a somewhat tired visual effect. The market is somewhat saturated by big budget spectacles these days and Hollywood's overall aesthetic style is becoming increasingly homogeneous and self plagiarising. The only major difference with this film is that director Noam Murro has added 3D to the mix, although it offers few benefits. The stylised violence continues to be a major element of the film and still happily ignores the realities of basic human anatomy. Hence the action scenes speed up and then slow down, while the camera swoops and soars around the CGI mayhem. Blood sprays like geysers. Teenage viewers may well get excited. Seasoned cinematic enthusiasts roll their eyes and check their watch.

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 Like Gerard Butler's performance in the 300, Eva Green shoulders the dramatic burden this time round and saves the entire movie from being a total dog’s dinner. She attacks the role of Artemisia with a maniacal fervour and is very watchable. Everything else is somewhat arbitrary. The plot is dutifully trotted out by means of a lengthy prologue. Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) mourns her husband and sundry returning cast members from the previous film wring their hands at the wrongdoings of  Persian King Xerxes (Rodrigo Santiago). There are also some oblique references to historical events and the prevailing philosophies of the age but they are never embellished upon or explored with any conviction. This is a movie about the carnage of battle and rippling muscles. To be fair, it wasn’t intended or marketed as a serious insight into the historical events of the time,

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 Beyond Eva Green's presence there is nothing much new to sell 300: Rise of an Empire. Same meat, different gravy, as the expression goes. It is squarely aimed at the same audience as the previous movie. One that likes this sort of visually self-indulgent, homo-erotic, historically superficial actionfest. It can even entertain an ageing and cynical cinemagoer like myself, if expectations are set suitably low and copious amounts of alcohol are consumed prior to watching. If you’re looking for a similar period film that’s a little bit more historically accurate and cerebral you can always try one of the four versions of Alexander, directed by Oliver Stone. As for the cries from certain quarters that 300: Rise of an Empire is yet another nail in the coffin of narrative cinema, ignore them because it's not. It's just a loud and excessive commercial movie. Hollywood has always made these.

LOTRO: What Happens Next?

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Around the middle of May, it was announced on the official forums that the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online had a new Producer, Oleg Brodskiy (AKA Raninia). This news was hardly “shouted from the rooftops” and I only found out about it when Raninia was recently “interviewed” by LOTRO streamer Louey7. So what do we know about Mr Brodiskiy? Well he comes from a mobile game background, having worked on such titles as Archer: Danger Phone and Marvel Puzzle Quest. He has experience as a game producer and in QA. According to the introductory post he made on the forums “Sev remains the Executive Producer, I'm coming in as support under him. I'll be spending my time exclusively on LOTRO, and am hoping to be reasonably communicative”. As mentioned, he recently appeared on a live stream and answered some questions regarding what’s happening with LOTRO in the next 6 months or So. He also alluded to 2022. 

Briefly, here is a recap of the points that were discussed in the stream. The original summary appeared on Massively Overpowered, care of Justin Olivetti and I have further condensed it for brevity.

2021:

• The Gundabad expansion is due in autumn and will be tied to the new Brawler class.

• The Brawler class has a tank and DPS role. Specific race options are not yet decided.

• Gundabad will feature missions and an older system that SSG is returning in a revised state.

• Gundabad will include Legendary Item changes. The older LI system will be “phased out”.

• The new LI system will be easier to use and for players to catch up.

2022:

• The development team have proposed years’ worth of potential content, although nothing beyond Gundabad has been completed.

• Trait lines, crafting and kinships may have future systems revisions.

• Visual and technical upgrades are being planned, although specifics have not been decided. A possible console edition cannot be discussed at present.

• Multithreading is “possible” but very difficult to achieve with LOTRO’s game engine.

• There are no plans at present for level compression (like WoW).

• Changing the acquisition of class trait points has been discussed.

• SSG would like to have an EU-based server, but there are definitive plans at present.

• Character transfers from closed worlds to live ones are being tested.

• There are no planned server merges.

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This is more information than we’ve seen for a while and certainly Oleg seems to be far more comfortable talking about the game than other members of Standing Stone Games. The interview was casual, upbeat and suitably vague. As previous new classes or races have been tied to expansions, it’s no surprise that the Brawler will follow suit with the arrival of Gundabad. The community knew the LI revision was coming so it will be interesting to see how simplified it will be. I wonder if the “older system” that is making a comeback in a revised state is skirmishes? Missions after all are just a variation of these and skirmishes were always a welcome alternative to traditional quests. As for next year, there seems to be a lot that is being discussed but it would appear that there may be technological restrictions. I don’t expect to see visual changes, multithread support and a console port any time soon. I suspect that SSG will focus on what can be achieved easily first. So expect skills bloat, skill points and crafting to be tackled sooner.

As ever with LOTRO much remains unanswered. Not only game specific details but wider aspects of company policy. Is Oleg Broadskiy’s employment a direct result of EG7 new ownership? Because from what I've seen of them so far (their YouTube channel has proven very informative) they are facilitators and enablers, rather than old school autocratic owners. They don't appear to have a vision for LOTRO that they wish to impose upon SSG. They seem more disposed towards supporting SSG financially and administratively, so they can take the game forward. If that is the case then LOTRO’s future development and direction is still being driven by SSG and that is what concerns me. They haven’t always struck me as that imaginative of companies and they often seem to be tone deaf to community concerns. However, more money and potentially more staff may well change this, bringing fresh ideas. Having played LOTRO for 13 years and followed the games development closely, the most I can do at present is remain cautiously optimistic.

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Looking at the long term future of the game, it does seem like LOTRO is at a crossroads in its lifecycle. Fortunately there are several positive factors in the games favour at present. In recent years there have been major changes to the Tolkien Estate and Middle-earth Enterprises affording greater leeway with licencing and use of Professor Tolkien’s intellectual property. EG7 acquiring Daybreak Gaming Company and their portfolio, has revealed a lot of data regarding LOTRO and it has shown that the playerbase is quite robust, generating stable revenue. Plus there’s a very good chance of renewed interest in all things Middle-earth when Amazon Prime’s new TV show which is set in the Second Age launches at the end of 2021. Hence if the game is adequately funded, developed and promoted it could see an increase in players. A console port would be invaluable, as could revising the games engine and mechanics for the PC market. 

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For LOTRO to survive and thrive, it requires a development team and chain of command with sufficient love and vision. If such skills are lacking in SSG at present, then perhaps EG7 can recruit them. Potentially, if managed well LOTRO could endure for another decade. A revamped game with modern attributes, yet still founded on strong narrative gameplay should do well. Being made available on EG7’s growing platform 4Game would be a major shot in the arm. When you consider the huge international appeal of Tolkien’s work (since publication The Lord of the Rings has sold 150 million copies) it seems ludicrous that a massively multiplayer game based upon that work hasn’t secured a bigger place in the market. In many ways LOTRO is now in the best position it has ever been in to reach its full potential. However, if this process of self improvement doesn’t start soon, then the opportunity may be missed and like Galadriel the game will diminish and go into the West. As always, time will tell.

Screenshots and Photo Mode

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Despite its many flaws, Cyberpunk 2077 launched with a very comprehensive “photo mode”. Developer’s CD Projekt Red put a lot of resources into creating the game's aesthetic and recognised that players would want to explore it and record how their avatars interact with it. The ability to take screen captures is a selling point for many games, especially in the RPG and MMORPG genres. It allows players to keep a permanent record of their activities over time and also adds another social aspect to proceedings. Players love to share screenshots that showcase their avatars and record events they’ve participated in. Some fan sites are predicated purely upon in-game photos. Either highlighting the various cosmetic items that are available or capturing the beauty of the virtual world. I still have screenshots from The Lord of the Rings Online going back to the day I started playing in December 2008.  

There is a surprising amount of skill involved in composing a good screenshot and it is not just a case of point and click. Framing and the “rule of thirds” are important factors. A Google search will provide you with plenty of common sense advice. However it helps immensely if a player can readily swap from third person to first person perspective. There will be times when you do not want or need your own avatar in the picture that you are taking. Thankfully most major MMOs have the facility to easily change between camera views and to turn off the user interface. However, photo mode, found in single player games, provides a far greater degree of creative freedom. It allows the game to be paused and the in-game camera to be detached from its preset configurations and to navigate in three dimensions around the desired image.

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Considering that so many games these days have a business model based around the sale of cosmetic items, it comes as no surprise that gamers want to take in-game selfies. It has to be said that the MMORPG genre, especially the role playing community, has a somewhat vain streak running through it. After all it is your avatar that is at the centre of the game. Hence, it seems logical and good business sense to ensure that all games come with facilities to accommodate and support screen captures. Where possible I’d personally like to see the more comprehensive photo mode supported. This really appeals to me in the same way as drawing and painting does. There is immense satisfaction to be had in trying to compose and frame a shot. It is something I can happily spend hours on. And then there is the option of post processing although that can be a somewhat contentious issue. Does it enhance the image at the expense of the game?

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Sadly, some games still lack integral screenshot support or do not have a specific photo mode. Furthermore, some even go so far as to actively block third party screen capture apps from working. For years I used the screen capture program FRAPS but some Ubisoft games see it as a security threat and consider its activity suspicious. So I found myself having to use for a while the screen capturing tool that comes with Nvidia’s GeForce experience software, to take pictures in certain games. Fortunately, I subsequently discovered Bandicam which offers a one stop screen and video capture solution, bypassing the issues caused by certain developer’s security protocols. There’s a free version that allows for unlimited screen captures without watermarks but it does restrict video capture to 10 minutes. The full version of the software cost $40.

Defining Immersion in Video Games

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Like any leisure activity, video games have their own unique lexicon. Some of these terms have become so ubiquitous that they have bled through from pop culture into everyday parlance. Hence we have the UK Prime Minister talking about “levelling up”; a suitably nebulous and vacuous soundbite. Gaming terms are elastic and often their meaning shifts, just like many other words in daily use. Hence the acronym MMO doesn’t really mean what it did two decades ago. Fellow blogger Wilhelm Arcturus wrote about a very specific gaming phrase yesterday. One that he feels very passionately about. Namely the term “immersion”. Gamers often refer to it in heated debates but due to its ill defined nature, it is inherently ambiguous. Wilhelm explored this in both his post and its subsequent comments. I’d like to continue with that train of thought here.

The obvious question to start with is “what is immersion?”, so I did a quick Google search to see if I could determine the most commonly used definition. This proved to be “deep mental involvement in something” according to Oxford Languages. The next step is to dip our toe tentatively into the sea of semantics, because there are many words that technically have a comparable or similar definition as immersion but their associated usage and linguistic baggage make them subtly different. For example, is immersion the same as concentration? I think not. I would associate competitive gaming more with that term. Esports is more about focus, IE concentrating on your technical skills, rather than getting lost in the moment which to me has more philosophical connotations. However, the phrase “in the zone” at first comes across as more of a sports orientated term. Yet it is equally applicable to creative and artistic endeavours. A role player could find themselves “in the zone” as they spontaneously weave an engaging narrative. 

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Such is the nature of semantics. As you can see, we’re no nearer to a more precise definition of immersion. So perhaps it would be better to approach it from a more philosophical angle. Do all gamers place significance upon immersion? I’d argue not. Competitive gaming is more akin to sports hence I wouldn’t expect immersion to be high on such gamers agenda. So called “core gamers” are more disposed toward technical mastery and exercising their skills precisely, rather than musing on the motivations of their avatars or the beauty of the virtual world in which they are playing. In fact when one considers the cultural divide between different gaming groups, I would hazard a guess that “core” gamers eschew immersion, as it represents a major aspect of social gaming, which they despise. Hence it is fair to say that immersion is more the province of the casual gamer, the role player and virtual explorer. Furthermore its importance is possibly genre dependent.

So what have we discovered so far? That immersion is a broad church that loosely means getting lost in the game that you’re playing. I would also suggest that immersion has a scale associated with it and what sort of player you are and the kind of game that you are playing dictates where you are on that scale. Using the MMORPG genre as an example, I would suggest that role players would be at one end and casual players like myself somewhere in the middle and PVP players at the other. One’s relative immersion is dependent upon variations of the following. Concentrating upon exactly what you’re doing within the game, to the exclusion of all other thoughts. Being engaged with the written narrative (or your own headcanon), your avatar’s actions and caring about what is happening and the potential outcome. For me, it is similar to being lost in watching a film, with the added bonus of having direct involvement upon events. 

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Naturally, there are many different things that can impact upon our personal sense of immersion. For example, first person versus third person perspective may make a difference. When playing from a first person view, you are the character. However, with a third person view you are observing the character. It is a small and subtle distinction but people may well react differently because of it. Animations, on screen prompts player chat can also be a source of distraction and objection that spoils one’s sense of immersion. And then there is the thorny issue of in-game stores and business imperative that comes with video games. This is often an anathema to those who see video games as a refuge from the iniquities of modern corporate life, despite the fact that video games are in many ways a microcosm of the fruits of capitalism.

For me, immersion in video games is something I find when I am on my own and free from interruptions. I can spend as much time as I like following the narrative, or reading the various lore books I find. It’s about stopping to take in a view and reflecting upon its beauty. It’s about watching the hustle and bustle of both NPCs and players in major cities. Immersion is the sense of satisfaction, achievement and joy I feel after beating a boss, completing a major quest arc or simply travelling round a virtual world. Anything that comes between these things breaks that immersion. I dislike skipping through quest bestowal text or dialogue as it somewhat mitigates my “motivation”. At times I do feel like a method actor seeking for “reasons” for my in-game actions beyond the obvious. 

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Immersion is a subjective and enigmatic thing. As there is no comprehensive and universally accepted definition that we all buy into, debates upon the subject will always be contested as not everyone’s experience is identical. Overall I believe that in light of this conclusion, the best we can hopefully agree upon is that immersion exists as a spectrum or scale. Exactly where we fit on it is unique to each of us. As to arguments that there is no such thing as immersion that are proposed from certain gaming quarters, I believe them to be flawed. Immersion is about feelings and one’s personal perceptions. It is not solely defined within logical parameters and in legally binding terms. Immersion in games is akin to what we feel when we are enthralled by a good book or that emotive response you have to a great song or piece of music. We do these uniquely, however it is entirely possible to find ourselves in part of the Venn diagram shared with others.

Damn Microphones

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Back in 2010 there was a video game podcast boom, especially with shows driven by MMORPG fandom. Hence, in a fit of hubris, I decided to add my voice to the growing conversation. Or alternatively jumped on the bandwagon, depending upon your point of view. The accessibility of the tools to create and distribute a podcast eliminated the traditional barriers to producing such material. Technically, the entire process of making a podcast remains quite simple. You record, edit, upload and promote. The quality of the podcast comes down to two factors. Your content and technical presentation. In this post I’d like to focus upon the latter. Podcasts are by their very nature, an audio medium, so it is important that those speaking are recorded clearly. Yes, this post is about microphones. How they can make or break a podcast (or live stream) and that they’re my new fixation.

So let’s begin with some technobabble. Recording audio is a chain of events. You speak into a microphone that picks up the sound. The sound is pre-amplified and is then captured and converted to a digital format. The digital data is then saved, cleaned, edited and mixed into a final recording. This recording is then digitally distributed and consumed by listeners using their respective audio equipment. Like any chain, if there is a weak link then there’s a potential point of failure. Conversely, each step offers an opportunity for improvement. Good audio enhances the overall listening experience for your audience. Ultimately, if those listening are doing so with inferior audio equipment, that is a matter beyond your control. But you can ensure that your audio is the best it can be, prior to its distribution.

Mics on their own cannot produce a signal that is strong enough to just be recorded without going through a "pre-amplifier". This boosts the signal level to get the best quality audio saturation from the mic. However, this boosting affects the sound quality. As you can see, we’re only four paragraphs into this post and there are now both hardware and technical literacy requirements. However, for podcasting the practical solution is to use a USB microphone. These handle the pre-amp requirement and also convert the source audio to a digital format. But like any technology that does multiple tasks, there is a trade off. Like so many things in life you get what you pay for. A decent quality, brand name USB mic will cost between £100 and £200 or thereabouts. But you can also find some interesting “clone” products available which have similar specifications but are not manufactured by known brands. 

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It should be noted that simply buying the most expensive mic available is not by default going to solve your audio woes. No sir. The acoustics of the room in which you’re recording, the placement of the mic and how far you sit in front of it all have an impact. I was quite surprised how I improved the audio quality of a test recording simply by moving my chair a few inches closer to the desk on which the mic was placed. Pop filters of some kind are also essential. The simple reality is that if you’re using a USB mic on a desk stand or a boom you have to stay close to the mic and remain relatively still. This is a nuisance, if like me, you geticulate and are animated while extemporising. In the past I got away with this because I used a gaming headset to record my podcasts but this was at the expense of audio quality. The mic used to pick up the sound of the plastic creaking as my jaw moved the earphones.

Obviously there’s a lot more technical depth to microphones than I’ve covered. I’m just trying to summarise what I’ve learned of late and I’ve only scratched the surface. Furthermore, when I undertake a project I like it to be done in a professional fashion. Hence I am a hard taskmaster and will spend hours fine tuning software or hardware if I feel it will yield beneficial results. Yet no matter how much you tinker with either software or hardware, there are some things that you cannot change easily, such as how your voice sounds and your diction. I’m constantly horrified by the gulf between how I think I sound and the cold, stark reality of how I actually do. Like mirrors, microphones and not always flattering, damn them. But on the plus side, it is nice to have a requirement to use one again.