Caring for the Elderly Part 13

The funeral service for my late Father was held today. As ever I would like to collate my thoughts and present them here in the hope that I may be able to assist someone else who is currently dealing with a bereavement. Funerals can be challenging at any time but are further complicated at the moment due to the various restrictions imposed due to the global COVID-19 pandemic. However, there is still scope to give a loved one a fitting send off. You just have to be a little more creative about it and try to be understanding of the current regulations regarding social gatherings. Despite my concerns today’s service at our local Borough crematorium went well, if such a term is appropriate. I feel that my Father was honoured appropriately and that his family and friends were able to pay their respects and celebrate his life in a manner that he would approve of.

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Caring for the Elderly Part 12

Long-term care can often end with a bereavement; which is a complex subject in itself. I will not be discussing grief in this post, as that is an immensely personal and subjective experience that we deal with in our own way. Instead, I would like to talk about the administrative and logistical problems that arise after someone has died and use my own recent experiences as an example. My Father died on Wednesday 16th September. He had a series of strokes in 2016 which left him disabled. Over the last four years his level of health has slowly deteriorated and his quality of life has subsequently diminished. This year saw a noticeable change not only in his well being but overall attitude. His stoical outlook finally faded and he lost all interest in life. He fell ill in mid August with Sepsis and then developed a lung infection. When I saw him last on Friday 4th September he told me he was tired and wanted “an end to it all”. Six days later he asked the Senior Doctor on the ward to stop treatment, which wasn’t working anyway. He died a week later on Wednesday 16th September. He was 91.

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Caring for the Elderly: Part 9

I always try to write the posts in this series in way that proves useful to others who are facing a similar experience. Caring, old age, illness and our own mortality are all matters that will cross our path sooner or later. This time I shall be addressing a subject that many of us tread carefully around. Some people will not countenance discussing it in any way, shape or form as it makes us uncomfortable or even scared. In Western culture death is often the elephant in the room; a topic that should not be avoided but frequently is, due to etiquette and other curious societal foibles. Hence, we use phrase like “passed” or “gone” instead of dead and we often invoke religious based platitudes, regardless of whether we have any particular faith or not. Simply put, our response to the inevitability of our own demise and that of those who we love is ambiguous to say the least. I hope in the years to come we grow up in this respect and find a comfortable means of making death socially acceptable to discuss and plan for.

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