Once again, I find myself writing about this subject in the hope that it will encourage others to reflect upon the nature of old age, illness and the consequences that arise from them. There is still a prevailing culture of not discussing and sometimes not even thinking about such matters, but both are an absolute certainty in everyone’s life. All too often people find themselves in extremely difficult situations brought about by such events and the difficulty and emotional trauma is increased due to there being no plan in place or provision to address matters. Therefore, I strongly advocate the following. Some may seem like very obvious points, but recent conversations I’ve had with other carers and people in similar situations, has shown that many people have not made even the most basic of provisions in this regard.

There comes a stage in most people’s life when they start reflecting upon their own mortality. Both my parents have survived two strokes each and are now in the late eighties. At this point in their lives healthcare has moved on from correcting or remedying problems, to instead being more about holding the line and maintaining the status quo. A safe home along with an orderly daily routine provides a stable environment, which broadly allows them both to maintain an adequate degree of independent living. However, both are very aware that their faculties and overall health are gradually diminishing. Neither are naïve or foolish enough to deny this and in recent months have been quite candid about what the future will entail. Simply put both my parents are aware that they are currently “running the last lap”, to use one of their phrases.

I have written in the past about caring for the elderly. I have approached the subject from a personal perspective, as a carer with two disabled octogenarian parents, as well as considering the broader needs of a society with an ageing population. As it has been two years since I formally became a carer to both my parents, I thought I’d share my experiences on the many challenges that my family has faced over the last twenty-four months. I find doing so beneficial and maybe my anecdotes may be of value to others in a similar situation.  As I’ve said in my original post, caring for a loved one is something we all potentially face at some point in our lives, and with an ageing population it becomes statistically more likely each year.

In a previous post, written last summer, I mentioned my caring commitments and reflected upon the realities of being a carer. Since then my family’s circumstances have changed considerably and subsequently so have my own. In the UK, social care has become a major political issue and was a key area of debate for all parties in the recent election campaign. Although the UK has an aging population, then NHS broadly manages to deal with its needs. It is the social care that so often follows time spent in hospital, that causes a bottleneck. Too often, the local authorities struggle to find carers and have them in place when requested. This means that many patients are unable to be discharged and have to remain in hospital. Caring is a profession that seems to be greatly lauded and esteemed by politicians in principle but the reality is far different. Overall it is often a poorly paid job, with little or no employments rights or benefits.