Thinking Out Loud

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Once again, I have collated a series of random thoughts on “stuff and things”, as the expression goes. All of which is published under the title “Thinking Out Loud”, which is a recurring blog post.

Finding Online Communities 

If you want to buy a grapefruit spoon with an inlaid mother of pearl handle or 25Kg of exotic aquarium gravel, then a simple Google search (other search engines are available) will yield a multitude of results. However, the search engine does not fare so well with finding online communities. Many years ago I joined The LAMB (Large Association of Movie Blogs), which at the time claimed to be the world's largest movie blog directory/community. It was a useful website. From what I can see, this site is now partially dormant. New reviews are being posted but the directory service of other movie related websites seems unavailable. Hence I am looking for a comparable online community where I can share my film reviews and read other peoples. Trying to find one is proving quite difficult. 

I find that a lot of online communities have migrated to Discord for obvious reasons. Subreddits are also still an important focal point for shared interests. However, Discords by their nature do not lend themselves to creating easily navigable and searchable archives. They are more about informal discussions. Subreddits have their respective gatekeepers who often prefer to keep user debate confined within their own managed environment. Third party links and external sources are not always welcome. Hence I prefer conventional websites that collate and aggregate content. The only problem with this is that it’s becoming increasingly rare due to the associated work and cost. In the meantime, I shall continue searching as I’m sure a suitable community is out there.

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Gaming Homework and Fear of Getting Things Wrong

Something that came up while I was struggling to familiarise myself with Dragon’s Dogma 2. A matter that is now a major aspect of gaming culture. Specifically, the requirement to have to research gameplay mechanics, classes and builds prior to actually playing a game. YouTube is the dominant medium for this requirement. I found myself watching various videos with titles such as “10 mistakes you don’t want to make” and “the best classes and vocations” before I even created a character in Dragon’s Dogma 2. Do you remember a time when games had tutorials that explained their own mechanics. You may be old enough to recall when media shipped with a physical manual. Such days have long gone.

However, not only is it expected these days that you have to do research via third parties to be able to work out how to play a game, there is now a considerable “risk” if you don’t. If you just pick a class and gear based purely upon “that looks cool”, then you will damn yourself to the seventh circle of gaming hell and have a chronic case of buyer’s remorse. How the hell did we get to this place? A place where there isn’t scope to just have fun partially on your own terms. If certain builds and combinations of in-game gear lead to poor experience, why put them in the game? Everything seems so formalised these days with regard to gaming. Hence we get prevailing metas and if you choose to ignore them you’re effectively gimping yourself. This “process driven” ideology seems to be bleeding through into everything nowadays. It ruined TED Talks and is ruining YouTube. Where will it end?

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Continuously Outraged Fans are Wearisome

The second season of The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power begins on 29th August on Prime Video. Captain America: Brave New World is released theatrically on 14th February 2025. What do these both have in common? The criticism and anger of outraged fans. Yes the vocal minority are at it again, shouting at clouds because a film or TV show has dared to do something that they don’t care for. Be it a question of representation or a matter of “creative adaptation”. It is an especially tedious foible of fandom and is often not just about likes and dislikes, but driven by other cultural and political movements. The matter came up recently in the documentary A Disturbance in the Force about the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special. Writer, actor and director Kevin Smith had wise words to say on this matter. “When you have a bunch of people that love something and take it into their hearts, they claim it. And when these things don't behave the way we want them to, well, it seems like we've become a culture that doesn't know how to handle that”.

Thoughts on Blogging Part 19

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I’ve been writing online for 17 years. During that time a modest audience has read my posts and occasionally commented on them, which is the accepted dynamic of blogging. Some of my posts are ephemeral. Others, such as film reviews, have greater longevity. Naturally I want people to read my output and I’ve noticed that the film reviews seem to generate a fair amount of traffic. After consulting my website analytics package, it would appear that the majority of readers find my reviews by searching Google. Promoting my writing via social media does very little. Another issue is that readers tend to read the post they found via their search and then leave. Despite there being links at the bottom of the post to similar material. Currently, my blog does not have an effective means of searching older posts. The landing page has only 20 posts listed. There are approximately 2,500 archived.

Six years ago I wrote a tutorial post explaining how to effectively search Contains Moderate Peril. Each post has a list of keyword categories in the footer and if you click on these, it will list all other posts that have been labelled in the same way. There is also a calendar feature on the blog archive page, which shows all posts by dates. However, neither of these two means of searching the site are really intuitive or convenient. To date I am still seeking a suitable means that can be implemented within the current constraints of Squarespace and the specific templates this site uses (Trombone Shorty). I am also trying to determine a means of promoting my content online but in a manner I consider to be ethical. I don’t like misleading, hyperbolic clickbait. Nor do I want my social media accounts to be exclusively used to push my work.

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There are plenty of websites that offer advice on marketing and promotion. Broadly, they all state the same things. Create targeted content, build a community via promotion on social media, collaboration with others and back links. SEO is a must. All of which makes sense but is not necessarily to everyone’s tastes. I have no objection with promotion and collaboration but I will not alter my writing style, just to chase an audience. I consider personal blogs to be in some respects like music or newspapers. You write in a certain idiom and that appeals to a specific group. For example, when I write about film I assume that the reader has a certain degree of investment in the subject and some knowledge. Technically, by changing my writing style I could reach a larger audience but that is not what I'm seeking to achieve. I am pursuing a different, smaller niche, which for me is more rewarding.

It is interesting to note that as my return to regular writing has coincided with the Blaugust: Festival of Blogging, there has been a modest increase in traffic to Contains Moderate Peril. I put this down to the various bloggers participating in the event, kindly showing an interest in my posts. As I’ve stated before, seeing any degree of interest in one’s work helps in maintaining the motivation to keep writing. Although the technological aspects of blogging have changed over the years, I suspect the basics remain the same. Readers return whenever new content is available, associated promotion via podcast, live stream or YouTube channel also helps. Giveaways and competitions will attract traffic and some will stick around. A catchy name doesn’t do any harm, although try not to pick something that may box you in at a future date. Finally, keep plugging away. If you throw enough faecal matter at a vertical brick structure, some will eventually adhere.

Caligula: The Ultimate Cut (1979)

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There are many stories and anecdotes associated with the 1979 film Caligula. Many of which are apocryphal. However, there is absolutely no doubt that this was a troubled production, with artistic differences between the writer, director and producers. Hence the original theatrical release was not the arthouse, historical drama that it was intended to be. Instead Caligula ended up the most notorious multimillion dollar independent film of the seventies. Steeped in violence, hardcore pornography and acts of depravity, yet boasting an A list cast of British and European actors, a screenplay by the legendary Gore Vidal and an established Italian arthouse director, namely Giovanni “Tinto” Brass . This magnificent cinematic car crash of a film has maintained an interest with cult film enthusiasts, as well as scholars of cinema over the decades. This is mainly because there’s an optimistic school of thought that there is a far better film trying to get out.

For those unfamiliar with the film and its associated legend, Caligula was initially conceived as an historical drama about the rise and fall of the controversial Roman emperor. The film stars Malcolm McDowell in the title role, alongside Teresa Ann Savoy, Helen Mirren, Peter O'Toole, John Steiner, and John Gielgud. It was filmed in Rome at Dear Studios during 1976 and was intended to be a serious dramatic exploration of the theme that absolute power corrupts. Writer Gore Vidal wrote an original screenplay based upon historical sources to that effect. However, director Tinto Brass had other ideas and preferred the concept of Caligula being a born monster just waiting for an opportunity. Hence he rewrote the script with an emphasis on the sensational, although he kept much of the original dialogue. However, upon completion of principal photography, producer Bob Guccione (the publisher of Penthouse) took over editing of the film and shot additional pornographic scenes for inclusion in the theatrical cut. Controversy, outrage and lawsuits followed. Caligula then passed into cinematic legend.

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Then in 2019, Thomas Negovan was hired to reconstruct a version of the film closer to the initial vision. Using the original camera negatives of 100 hours of footage unearthed in the Penthouse archive, along with an early draft of Gore Vidal’s script, Negovan has assembled a radically different cut of the film using alternate takes and abandoned footage. However, this has still proven a difficult undertaking as there is far from a consensus on what the original intentions of the production were. Was Caligula intended to be a pure historical drama or a stylised exploration of the themes of Roman decadence, filmed via the medium of Italian arthouse cinema? It would appear that Negovan has arrived somewhere between the two positions. There is now a clear thematic thread running through Caligula: The Ultimate Cut with the emperor portrayed as an anarchic free spirit who is consumed by his own desire to push the boundaries of his power. He is enabled by a coterie of sycophants and lackays, as well as political opportunists.

Film aficionados will spot the changes that Thomas Negovan has made immediately. The film opens with an impressive new animated title sequence featuring a young Caligula performing his eponymous dance. This has been created for the film by “Sandman” artist Dave McKean. Numerous key scenes are now shown in chronological order and many of the more infamous and salacious sequences make use of alternative takes. The new edit certainly presents a more nuanced performance by Malcolm McDowell and the actor himself is certainly pleased with the new edit. Helen Mirren has more screen time as Caligula’s wife, Caesonia, although the character is still somewhat underwritten. Overall there is a far more coherent narrative arc and the film no longer feels like a vehicle exclusively created for the depiction of debauchery and violence.

That being said, Caligula: The Ultimate Cut has not been thoroughly sanitised because it is impossible to do so. Hedonism and physical indulgence are baked into the film’s celluloid DNA. There is still a lot of male and female nudity, a double rape and a great deal of violence and tonal unpleasantness. In replacing certain shots with alternate material, the exploitative aspect of some scenes has been replaced with a somewhat colder and more clinical tone, which in some respects makes them more shocking. Especially the notorious  fisting scene and the assassination at the end of the film, which involves an infanticide. Cinephiles will also lament the replacement of Bruno Nicolai’s original score along with the classical cues by Prokofiev and Khachaturian, with a new soundtrack by Troy Sterling Nies. It is nothing more than functional, where the original matched the baroque tone of the film. 

Overall Caligula: The Ultimate Cut is probably the best cut of the film we’re ever likely to see. Has Thomas Negovan’s extensive reconstruction revealed a lost masterpiece amid the decadence and depravity of the previous theatrical edition? Not quite. The film remains a cinematic chimaera that veers between high drama and exploitative excess. It just does so in a far more coherent and efficient fashion this time round. It does highlight the baroque production design by Danilo Donati and showcase a far more rounded performance by Malcolm McDowell but this is never going to be a film that finds mass, mainstream appeal. This legendary production will remain a source of fascination for scholars of cinema but is ultimately too “out there” to become an accepted part of the established pantheon of arthouse masterpieces. It is a unique product of its time and now in this new version, a cinematic curate’s egg rather than a hot mess.

Longlegs (2024)

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Although I was unaware of it, there was a guerrilla marketing campaign for Longlegs which was focused on the internet rather than traditional television adverts. Hence the film gained a lot of interest prior to its release and as well as some some disproportionate expectations. Then immediately after its theatrical debut, the matter was further compounded by a possible excess of gushing praise as the film was “over reviewed”. Therefore I maintained a degree of scepticism about Longlegs and tempered my expectations prior to watching it. Any film that is hailed as the next Silence of the Lambs, featuring a “traumatising” performance by Nicholas Cage needs to be keenly scrutinised so that its cinematic merits can be carefully separated from the surrounding hyperbole. After viewing I found Longlegs to be a finely honed, atmospheric and precisely targeted horror thriller but not the genre milestone that some would claim.

During the 1990s, FBI agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe) is assigned by her supervisor William Carter (Blair Underwood) to an investigation of a series of murder-suicides in Oregon. In each case a father kills his family and then himself, leaving behind a letter with Satanic coding signed “Longlegs”. The handwriting belongs to a third party and not a family member. Hence Carter suspects that the crimes may have been instigated. Lee, who possibly has latent psychic powers, determines that each family had a 9-year-old daughter born on the 14th of the month. Furthermore, the murders all occurred within six days before or after the birthday itself and the murders form an occult triangle symbol on a calendar. Curiously, one date is missing. While talking to her mother Ruth (Alicia Witt), Lee receives a coded birthday card from Longlegs, warning her that revealing the source of the code will lead to her mother's murder.

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Director Osgood Perkins creates a vivid visual and aural landscape which immediately draws the audience into the brooding sense of disquiet. The ambient soundtrack by Zilgi is sparse and often music is replaced by ominous tonal sounds. Perkins also furnishes just enough information both visually and within his screenplay, to keep viewers engaged but forcing them to fill in the narrative gaps themselves. At one point a character is shown to have a substantial supply of medication. Exactly what it is for is never specifically explained. Is it to treat a psychiatric condition of a specific illness? A character refers to the remote location where they and their daughter live and how no one visits them. Is this due to her being an unwedded mother or having some form of mental illness? Both would potentially make them a social pariah in small town America, during the sixties.

Nicholas Cage’s notable performance is not overplayed and his character only makes a few appearances during the film’s first act. His face is obscured initially and it is only during an FBI interrogation scene that we become aware of his curious demeanour. Again whether he is an albino or has acquired such a complexion by avoiding sunlight is never made clear. It is while he is questioned by agent Harker that Cage ups the ante and we become aware that he is not just another broken human being who has morphed into a serial killer. It is at this point that the film commits to a more overtly supernatural plotline, where initially it was deliberately more ambiguous. Beforehand, the murders and associated events could be potentially explained in more conventional terms.

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Cinematographer Andrés Arochi does much to build the atmosphere. There are many night scenes with deep shadows and strong, contrasting pools of light. The overall colour palette is somewhat muted but white and red are used vividly. As a result the viewer is kept absorbed by the film’s aesthetic and it doesn’t immediately become apparent that this is a modest budget production with only a handful of characters. There are sufficient jump scares and a couple of scenes of jolting violence, to keep the audience's appetite sated for the staples of the horror genre. The film’s ending is as you would expect, given what has proceeded. Yet despite the series of murders and the implications of direct, satanic intervention, the film still feels restrained in its scope and doesn’t quite have the impact of a cinematic event that some claim it to be. However, less can be more and Longlegs is definitely superior to mainstream horror fare. Osgood Perkins is also a director to keep an eye on.

Handwriting

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I recently had to complete some formal paperwork which required me to fill in various information by hand, in black ink. I sat myself at the dining room table and subsequently started writing the necessary information. To my surprise this proved quite difficult. After a few minutes of trying to write neatly, my right hand started cramping. The more I tried to concentrate and “write casually”, the harder it became. By the time I completed the form, my writing had deteriorated considerably. I was somewhat ashamed of the way I had scrawled over this legal document. To make things worse, I then remembered having handwriting lessons as a child. Overall, I was somewhat perturbed at my apparent loss of the ability to write. However, after some further thought, I wondered when was the last time I wrote anything longhand? Exactly how often do I put pen to paper nowadays?

Upon reflection, the last time I wrote anything longhand, would have been last Christmas. The personal messages that I wrote in a few cards to friends. Beyond that I had to complete some legal paperwork in February and March but it really was no more than writing my signature. In fact even writing my name has become a rarity these days. I don’t write cheques anymore. I think the last time I used such an instrument of payment was about twenty years ago. The UK dropped the requirement for signing when using your credit card, roundabout 2002 or so. Thinking further back, when I started my first job for the UK civil service at the end of the eighties, there was still quite a lot of manual written work. A decade later when I left, all written work was done via a PC. Hence, it would appear that for a lot of people, myself included, modern life has no requirement to write with a pen.

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A quick Google search verifies my own experience. Handwriting is no longer considered to be as essential as it once was. However some academics argue that handwriting is still an important skill due to its wider cognitive benefits. Handwriting engages different parts of the brain compared to typing. It can help with memory retention such as learning the alphabet. Handwriting can also help develop artistic skills and can provide an opportunity for a child to develop aspects of their own character. However, children today tend to be digital natives and often their first experiences with letters and spelling can be via that medium. Formal handwriting comes later and is certainly no longer developed as a specific skill. Neural divergence is another reason why handwriting is not treated so formally.

Things change. All major cultural shifts have advantages and disadvantages. Technology makes writing a lot more accessible. The digital written word can be disseminated far more quickly and equitably. Yet without the medium of technology, those words cease to exist. However, we still have written words from over 5,000 years ago, written on clay tablets. Setting aside the practical arguments, handwriting as it existed in the past was often a thing of beauty. Consider the script on the US constitution or the UK Magna Carta. I also have letters written by my grandparents and there is an earthy and honest beauty to their personal handwriting. Perhaps we have lost something special by shedding the necessity to write longhand. However, there is nothing to stop anyone concerned by this societal shift, in taking up handwriting as a hobby. Perhaps our need to conserve our heritage may lead to a resurgence?

Spotify

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I currently have over 152 GB of music on my PC. Approximately 26,000 songs or pieces of music. These are in MP3, Flac and other formats. The files have been sourced from various CDs that I have owned over the years and subsequently “ripped”. Others have been bought from Amazon or other similar sources. In the past I have copied music from friends’ collections and vice versa. The files are mainly categorised by artist or name which is sufficient for me to be able to trawl through them to find what I want. I use foobar2000 as my music player of choice, mainly because it is updated by its developer, plays all major file formats and has no adverts. The interface is verging on the spartan but I prefer this minimalist approach, as I do not require an excess of features. 

For the last decade or so, this has been my default music set up. As I spend a lot of time in my office, at my desk, this is how I’ve mainly listened to music. A few years ago I ditched the ageing desktop speakers that were attached to my PC and bought a good quality soundbar. It has been a great improvement. I also have a pair of Sony WH-CH520 Wireless Bluetooth Headphones for those occasions when I need to keep the noise down, or for when I’m travelling. However, several things happened in the last year or so which made me question the status quo. The first was Mrs P buying a new car. It didn’t come with a CD player. The second occurred at one of my son’s barbecues. A playlist was collated within minutes with many guests contributing via their existing streaming music accounts. This ensured that there was an equitable representation of all kinds of music, negating any arguments.

Hence, when I received an email offering a 3 month free trial of Spotify last Christmas, I jumped at the chance. Needless to say the flexibility of the platform, along with its substantive music catalogue made it pretty much a no brainer. I lived through the album era and although I like sleeve art, I’ve always found records an inconvenience and never bought into the culture of reverence for them. Similarly, I feel the same way about CDs. So when the MP3 format started to gain traction in the earlier 2000s I quickly adopted it as it had the advantages of superior storage and easy access. Hence, streaming music services are a logical progression. Spotify is convenient and offers easy access. It’s on my PC, phone, smartspeaker. We can also access it when out or in the car.

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Setting aside the practical benefits of its accessibility, the other major appeal of Spotify is collating and sharing playlists. Playlists are an excellent means of curating music for specific moods and occasions. As I have an organisational streak to begin with, creating bespoke lists of songs is something I can happily do for hours. I also find sharing other peoples playlists a very useful means of discovering new songs and artists. I can do this with friends and celebrities alike. I recently accessed a list of songs curated by film director Edgar Wright and it was very much to my tastes. However, if you still like to listen to a specific album in order the tracks appear, you can still do this. Spotify will also try and recommend comparable artists based upon your listening history. It’s not a perfect system but it can be quite creative in its choices at times. 

The obvious downside to using a streaming service, as opposed to playing the music I already have stored, is the cost. However, I can justify that by the increased accessibility I now enjoy. Another issue that happens from time to time, is not being able to find a specific track. Spotify doesn’t claim to be a definitive music source but it does allow you to add files locally. I have also experienced a few glitches from time to time. Specific songs added to a playlist will sometimes default to alternative versions or mixes for no discernable reason. Material will sometimes be greyed out and unplayable. Presumably due to  copyright issues. However, these are minor complaints. So far Spotify justifies its cost by its convenience and so I am happy to endure the expenditure. There are wider issues to consider such as the cultural shift away from “owning” music, to just “renting” it but that is a discussion for another blog post.

Dining and Table Manners

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I saw a post on social media recently which featured a picture of a plate with three slices of cake, along with a cake fork (also known as a pastry fork or dessert fork). I made a comment about using the right tool for the job and then thought how unusual it was to see this particular piece of cutlery these days. I then remembered that my American friends refer to cutlery as silverware, which then got me thinking about table manners and the associated social etiquette around dining. The internet does an excellent job of making the world smaller and because international English and US pop culture are so ubiquitous, you can be fooled into thinking that we’re all somewhat homogeneous in our habits and customs. That, however, is not the case and I have always found these minor differences fascinating. Hence I thought it would be a good subject to explore. 

My Grandson, is three years old. He has recently discovered that when he comes to stay with myself and Mrs P, we have quite a lot of rules. Particularly at dinner time. During which, we all sit at the table and the TV goes off. We use our cutlery primarily to eat and our hands when appropriate. Everyone stays at the table while eating and you don’t get to wonder off. If you need to go to the toilet, then you politely excuse yourself from the table. We all remain seated until everyone has finished their meal. Finally, the most controversial rule is, if you don’t eat your dinner, then you don’t get dessert. However, these rules are tempered by common sense. Therefore, we will not serve things that are obviously unpleasant to a three year olds palette. I also see no sense in bullying a child into eating something they don’t enjoy. However, I won’t let our grandchildren dine exclusively just on the things they want.

These rules are a variation of those I learned from my parents. However, ours are far more equitable compared to theirs. My mother and father grew up during World War II and endured rationing. Hence they adopted a scorched earth policy with regard to wasting food or any kind of food fad. To their generation, table manners and indeed manners per se were a direct reflection of your personal character. Hence you used the right cutlery in the correct manner. You didn’t chew with your mouth open, nor eat noisily. Although such codes have good intentions, I do feel that ultimately much of the Edwardian culture surrounding manners that endured in the UK until the seventies, was more about reinforcing class division than just promoting politeness. Hence I take a more flexible approach to such things.

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Returning to the specifics of dining etiquette, here are a few differences between the UK, Europe, and the US. Let us start with knife and fork usage. In the UK and Europe, the fork is held in the left hand and the knife in the right. The fork is kept in the left hand even when eating, and food is either pushed onto the back of the fork with the knife, or impaled on the fork. Americans often use the “zigzag” method. They cut food with the fork in the left hand and knife in the right, then switch the fork to the right hand to eat, setting the knife down. With regard to starting a meal, in the UK it is customary to wait for everyone to be served before starting the meal. In countries like Italy and Spain, it’s polite to wait for the host to say “Buon appetito” or something similar before beginning. In the US, while it’s polite to wait for others to be served, in casual settings, it's common to start eating as soon as your food arrives. Naturally none of these rules are set in stone and practices vary.

Modern life is very different from that of the seventies, or the early nineteen hundreds. Dining, although an important aspect of family life and social interaction, is far less formal. However, I do feel it plays a vital role in bringing people together and learning social dynamics. I also believe that dining together is the quickest way to get to know someone, especially those from a different background. However, not everyone has the same relationship with food as I do. Nor do all enjoy the social dynamic of dining with company. I can fully appreciate how people of an introverted nature and the neural divergent can find the various conventions associated with social dining to be smothering and frustrating. Hence, if you prefer to dine on your own in a casual fashion, free from rules and spoon draining people with big personalities, then so be it.

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I however enjoy social dining, mainly due to my love of food and because I do believe in its virtues. I am comfortable eating informally, be it at a drive-through or barbeque, or at formal dinner parties or restaurant. I like meals that are leisurely paced, with an emphasis on enjoying conversation and good company. On my few trips to Europe, I have especially liked that dinner often started late in the evening and was a lengthy process. As for the rules relating to salad forks or fish knives, if you’re not sure then just ask. I was at a fancy restaurant once and ordered snails in garlic sauce as a starter. I asked one of the waiters how one tackled such a delicacy and he happily instructed me in the use of the “tools” that I was presented with. 

Inevitably, the subject of dining and table manners, segues into other tangential matters such as napkins (and folding them into swans and gibbons), what condiments you prefer, as well as what drinks you serve with a meal. I will quickly make the following points regarding these. If you’re dining with children, then napkins, kitchen towel, or some sort of moist cleaning wipe are essential. Condiments are so much more than salt and pepper these days. Hence have whatever chutneys, sauces, relish or garnish you see fit. If you want ketchup on your steak, damn everyone else, you go for it. Same goes for what you drink with a meal. If you want red wine with fish, fine. It’s your meal after all. The only advice I’d ever give freely is watchout for grapefruit spoons. And if I were to pick one rule associated with table manners that I think should be set in stone, it’s to thank your host or whoever has prepared the meal.

The Final Conflict (1981)

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As a rule, it is always a challenge to end a trilogy of films successfully. Writing a satisfying denouement to a standalone movie is hard enough. To be able to conclude all pertinent story arcs and themes that have been sustained over three feature films, to everyone’s liking is far harder to achieve. In the case of The Final Conflict (1981), the last instalment of The Omen trilogy, writer Andrew Birkin does manage to resolve all of the external, internal and philosophical stakes, which are the fundamental components of a cinematic screenplay. Unfortunately, it is done in an incredibly underwhelming manner, which left audiences feeling cheated. The last time good defeated evil evil in such an unspectacular fashion was in Hammer’s To the Devil a Daughter (1976). This is why, in spite of solid production values, The Final Conflict is the least popular of the films about the Antichrist, Damien Thorn.

Damien Thorn (Sam Neill), is now 32 years old and head of his late uncle's international conglomerate, Thorn Industries. The US president appoints him Ambassador to Great Britain, which Thorn reluctantly accepts on the condition he also becomes head of the UN Youth Council. Thorn moves to the UK and continues his international scheming. However, an alignment of the stars heralds the Second Coming of Christ who, according to scripture, is to be born in England. Thorn subsequently orders all boys in the country born during the alignment to be killed. Meanwhile, Father DeCarlo (Rossano Brazzi) and six other priests recover the seven daggers of Megiddo, the only holy artefacts that can kill the Antichrist. They seek to hunt Thorn in the hope of killing him before he can destroy the Christ-child. But when the first assassin attempt goes awry, Thorn becomes aware of their plans.

The Final Conflict benefits greatly from the casting of Sam Neil as Damien Thorn. He is suitably charming and brooding. Filmed mainly in the UK, the production values are high and the film uses such locations as Cornwall and North Yorkshire extremely well. The cinematography is handled by Phil Meheux and Robert Paynter, who were both stalwarts of the UK film industry at the time. Jerry Goldsmith’s score is magnificent and does much of the heavy lifting, adding a sense of gravitas and gothic dread. The screenplay includes some bold ideas with themes of political manipulation by Thorn industries, as they create the very environmental disasters that they subsequently supply aid to. Director Graham Baker does not shy away from the infanticides ordered by Damien Thorn. Although not explicit, it is a disturbing aspect of the story.

Yet, despite so many positive points, The Final Conflict runs out of steam after the first hour. Too many good ideas are not developed sufficiently. The international intrigue alluded to at boardroom level, takes place off screen. The film would have been substantially improved if we saw directly Damien Thorn travelling the world and engaging with refugees and becoming a champion of the people. Including international locations would have better conveyed his global reach. Damien also doesn’t get to spar with his adversary. Instead he berates and harangues Christ via a rather disturbing full size crucifix that he keeps locked in an attic. Perhaps the biggest mistake the film makes is with the extravagant and contrived set pieces that befall those who discover Damien Thorn’s true nature. These had become a hallmark of the franchise. The first two onscreen deaths work well but the rest fall somewhat flat and simply aren’t shocking enough. As for ending, it serves its purpose but nothing more. 

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Overall, The Final Conflict is a well made but disappointing conclusion to what was originally a very intriguing franchise. Perhaps with a larger budget and a broader narrative scope that made the story more international, it could have fulfilled its potential. It certainly should have been more ambitious with its death scenes as its two predecessors were. Sadly instead of a decapitation with a sheet of glass or bisection by a lift cable, we have to make do with a high fall from a viaduct and a couple of stabbings. And then there’s the underwhelming ending. The more you think about it, the more you wonder how the studio thought this would be an appropriate ending. As it stands, The Final Conflict is watchable but offers nothing more than a perfunctory ending to the story of the rise and fall of Antichrist, Damien Thorn. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Pot Plants

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Burke

A week or so prior to Christmas, I bought a succulent in a decorative penguin pot. To be honest it was the pot that initially attracted me. I placed it on the window sill of my office to add some character. It resides next to a fossilised ammonite shell, my wallet, a small pot that has my door keys in it and a tortoise ornament. In the New Year, I bought a cactus and placed it at the other end of the window sill. I have a habit of naming various items in my home. Hence the cactus and succulent are known respectively as Burke and Hare. I won’t waste your time trying to explain how my mind works. I’m not usually the sort of person that likes an excess of clutter but I like the fact that the window sill has some degree of ornamentation. It makes what is essentially a functional room, a little more personal.

Eight months later, I am somewhat amazed that these two plants are still alive. I have watered them infrequently, mainly because I keep forgetting to do so. However, I think more through luck than judgement, I have treated them in a manner that is appropriate for their species. However, when dusting the window sill the other day, it occurred to me that they have grown somewhat and more than likely need to be repotted. As I am not a genocidal maniac by default, I decided in a fit of good humour to relocate Burke and Hare to more suitable accommodation. I was curious to see if I extended some degree of care, how much longer they would live and how big would they grow etc. Oh, the folly of hubris.

I mentioned that I was going to transplant my plants to Mrs P and she kindly bought me a new ornamental pot. She only managed to get one at the time. So today we went back to the garden centre and I bought another identical ornamental pot. In a fit of enthusiasm I also bought a small bag of potting mix that is suitable for both plants. I say small, it was 3 litres which is far more than I need. As it was getting near lunchtime, we left and I was feeling somewhat pleased with myself. However, that was all to change because like most things done on a whim, I hadn’t thought it through. Later in the afternoon, I decided to watch a couple of YouTube videos so I didn’t make any crass errors when it came to repotting Burke and Hare. Sadly, after watching the first video it became abundantly clear that I had already done so.

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Hare

It turns out that both plants need to be in a suitably sized plant container with drainage holes at the bottom. These brown plastic pots are then placed inside the fancy, ornamental pots which serve a purely aesthetic purpose. I’m sure this is obvious to gardeners and people running cannabis farms but it really didn't occur to me. So I then had to measure the ornamental pots to ensure that I bought the correct size of inner pots. I managed to trackdown some that are 8.5 centimetres wide and 7 centimetres high. The catch was the minimum amount I could buy on Amazon was 10. Next I noticed on the YouTube videos that people often cover the potting mix with a small layer of decorative stones. Apparently this keeps insects from making a home in the soil. Again Amazon wanted to sell me an excessive quantity. I ended up buying a kilogram of the stuff.

It is now Sunday evening. For the present Burke and Hare remain in their old pots. So far a total of £27 has been spent in an attempt to relocate them. Hopefully the outstanding items purchased from Amazon will arrive tomorrow and I can attempt repotting in the evening. In the meantime, I’ve been watching more YouTube videos and have discovered further logistical issues that I will need to address. The biggest being how do you lift a cactus out of its pot without sustaining multiple injuries. So far I’ve been advised to use either bubble wrap or a pair of oven gloves. No wonder I have never previously been interested in gardening. This entire episode is a textbook example of what happens when you do things without prior research and a comprehensive plan. Nothing is ever easy. Furthermore, there are no such things as cheap hobbies.

More British Slang Words and Phrases

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Manor is a UK slang term for turf or territory

About a year ago, I wrote a post about British slang words and phrases. Using fifteen examples, I endeavoured to explain their definition, provenance and the context in which they are commonly used. I then provided an example sentence of each word or phrase for reference. This proved such a popular post (it didn’t), that I thought it would be beneficial if I gave some further examples (Again I didn’t. I just needed to write a quick blog post, with minimal effort). So here is another selection of slang words and phrases that are used  in common parlance in the UK, for your amusement, edification and consideration. Some are relatively self explanatory. Others are somewhat tenuous and arcane in their origins. 

• All Right: A generic greeting that is used between friends and acquaintances. The standard response is to say “all right” back. It is not an invitation to say no and then list in detail all the reasons why you’re not all right. “All right Colin”. “All right Geoff”.

• Dodgy: A person or object that is questionable or suspect in some fashion. The guy down the pub who sells stolen gear out of his van is what you’d call dodgy. Food can also be so. “Blimey Colin, you stink. Was that kabab you had last night dodgy?”

• Faffing About: To waste precious time, expending an excessive amount of effort on a relatively simple task. “Oi Colin, stop faffing about. How long does it take to put on a clean duvet cover?”

• Innit: A contraction of the phrase “isn't it” or “is it not”. Often used in a rhetorical fashion at the end of a sentence. Similar to how a bellicose American would say “Am I right?”

• Jake the Peanut: A loud, brash, over confident person (usually a man) who suffers from the Dunning-Kruger effect. The same as Jack the Lad, Charlie Potato and Billy Big Bollocks. “Look at Colin with his Ray-Bans and corduroy flares. He thinks he’s Jake the Peanut”.

• Kip: To sleep. “Colin, don’t forget to put some cream on the cat’s piles. I’m gonna have a kip for an hour”.

• Leo Sayer’d: To be intoxicated by alcohol and sing in a high pitched manner, similar to the popular vocalist Leo Sayer.

• Mate: An informal term of respect used when addressing a man or woman without using their name. Used instead of the more formal sir or madam. “Oi mate. You can’t park there”.

• Muppet: An informal noun for stupid or foolish person. “Colin, flush the toilet after using it, you muppet”.

• Pissed: To be intoxicated by alcohol. Not angry as in the US sense of the word. “Colin’s well pissed after that bottle of floor polish”.

• Skive: To avoid work or duty by leaving early. “Where’s Colin? Has he skived off down the pub?”

• Slag Off: To talk to someone in a deliberately rude or derogatory fashion. “Why are you always slagging off Colin?”

• Taking the Piss: To mock or make fun of. “Colin’s fed up with everyone constantly taking the piss out of him”.

• Wee Stooshie: A Scottish term for a small brawl. A difference of opinion that ends in violence. Often fueled by alcohol. “I see Colin had a wee stooshie with the Salvation Army band that were playing in the High Street”.

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The English language is constantly evolving and as a result, words continuously come and go from the national lexicon. It can be argued that you can ascertain a person’s age by some of the phrases and slang that they use. Possibly their respective socioeconomic group as well. Posh folk (by which I mean the monied and titled upper classes) do seem to have a completely separate dialect. As do the under twenty fives but that has always been the case. As for the above words and phrases, I would hazard a guess that readers from Australia and New Zealand will find similarities between UK slang and their own. Europeans, who are often multilingual, will probably be likely to adapt to the curious foibles of colloquial English. As ever, please feel free to leave your thoughts below and share any interesting phrases or expressions of your own.

Coronary Heart Disease

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This morning I had an appointment at the Cardiology Outpatients clinic at St. Thomas’ Hospital, in Southwark, London. The hospital, located across the Thames from the Houses of Parliament, is easily accessible from three nearby tube stations (subway), one major train station and numerous buses. As well as having an extensive A&E department, St. Thomas’ also provides a broad range of healthcare services such as maternal medicine, gastrointestinal surgery, ophthalmology, pain medicine and plastic surgery. The hospital specialises in cardiovascular care and was the first to perform a mitral valve replacement on a beating heart. It is also home to nursing and surgical colleges. The current site has served community needs since 1871. The hospital has existed in some shape or form since the 12th century. There is a pleasant ornamental garden outside the main entrance that overlooks the river and Lambeth bridge.

I was at the hospital to have a stress echocardiogram. Two years ago I was diagnosed with coronary arteriosclerosis and this was a routine test to determine if there were any significant changes in my condition. Stress echocardiography is a test that uses ultrasound imaging to show how well your heart muscle is working to pump blood to your body while physical, pharmacological, or electrical stress is applied to the heart. In my case I was given the drug atropine to increase my heart rate, while I squeezed a pair of stress balls. The procedure took about an hour and was a little uncomfortable towards the end, due to the elevated heart rate. Fortunately, the results of the test showed only a minor progression of my ongoing heart disease, which can be managed within my current treatment strategy. The results have been sent to my local GP and I may or may not have my dosage of bisoprolol (beta blocker) increased. 

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There is absolutely nothing unusual about a man of my age (56) having coronary arteriosclerosis. It is a result of your heart's blood supply being blocked or interrupted by a build-up of fatty substances in the coronary arteries. Over time, the walls of the arteries can become furred up with fatty deposits. Furthermore, heart disease of this kind is caused by lifestyle factors, such as diet, smoking and regularly drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. Due to the fact that processed foods make up a substantial part of our diets nowadays, heart disease is very common in the UK. At present, there are around 7.6 million people living with heart and circulatory diseases. This statistic includes everything from conditions that are inherited, to those that develop later in life, such as coronary heart disease, atrial fibrillation, heart failure, stroke and vascular dementia. Here is some further information from the British Heart Foundation.

• Around 4 million males and 3.6 million females are living with heart and circulatory diseases in the UK.

• We estimate that in the UK more than half of us will get a heart or circulatory condition in our lifetime.

• Around twice as many people are living with heart and circulatory diseases in the UK than with cancer and Alzheimer’s disease combined.

• Heart and circulatory diseases cause around a quarter (27 per cent) of all deaths in the UK; that's more than 170,000 deaths a year, or 480 each day – one every three minutes.

• Around 49,000 people under the age of 75 in the UK die from heart and circulatory diseases each year.

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Whenever discussing medical matters, it is important to maintain an appropriate sense of perspective. Since the British Heart Foundation was established in 1961,the annual number of deaths from heart and circulatory diseases in the UK has fallen by nearly half. The UK is at the forefront of heart disease research and the NHS has a proven track record of diagnosing and treating it. I have found over the last two years that coronary arteriosclerosis is entirely manageable. A few sensible changes in diet and lifestyle, along with some common place medicines help maintain the status quo. I take the following tablets each day. Bisoprolol (25mg), atorvastatin (40mg) and aspirin (75mg). As a result, I can still pursue all the same activities that I always have. Sometimes I have to adjust the pace at which I do things and any activity at floor level is challenging but you simply develop techniques to work around these.

I am very fortunate that I live in the UK and as such medical treatment is free at the point of use. The only costs I have to pay for are my prescription fees, which are subsidised. My medication is supplied bi-monthly and I am charged a flat fee £9.90 per item. Hence I pay £19.80 for the bisoprolol and atorvastatin. I buy aspirin “over the counter” as they are cheaper that way. The only other aspect of my ongoing healthcare is a weight loss regime which is very much a work in progress. I say this because to celebrate the positive results of today’s test, I ended up at our local Italian restaurant, which may seem somewhat contradictory to my ongoing medical needs. However, as my heart consultant pointed out, preventative healthcare is about adjusting and managing lifestyles and not necessarily abandoning them by default. Everything in moderation, including moderation, as Oscar Wilde said.

No Blade of Grass (1970)

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During the seventies, the growing environmental concerns of the general public were beginning to appear as plot themes in both mainstream and independent film making. The science fiction genre proved the most practical medium for this with films such as Zero Population growth and Soylent Green. Cornel Wilde’s No Blade of Grass takes a different approach using an ecological disaster as the premise for a survival movie. As with Wilde’s previous movies The Naked Prey and Beach Red, the message is delivered clearly and with all the subtlety of a kick in the groin. Yet the director’s honesty carries weight as he boldly depicts how the trappings of modern civilisation are quickly stripped away in the face of impending disaster. Perhaps it was this candour that upset sections of the viewing public, who didn’t wish to confront the fragility of their own society or dwell upon their own potential for violence. Certainly the film’s distributor MGM were sufficiently bothered by what they saw, that they re-edited the movie prior to release to tone down some of the stronger content.

Based on John Christopher’s novel The Death of Grass published in 1956, No Blade of Grass starts with a new strain of virus that has devastated the rice crops in Asia causing a major regional famine. Soon a mutation appears in Europe infecting all types of grasses including all grain crops. The subsequent food shortages rapidly lead to social disorder, looting and possibly even cannibalism. The UK parliament start to consider desperate measures to cope with the situation. Architect and war veteran John Custance (Nigel Davenport) decides to flee London along with his wife Ann (Jean Wallace), young son Davey, teenage daughter Mary (Lyn Fredrick) and her scientist boyfriend Roger Burnham (John Hamill). They intend to travel to Westmorland in Cumbria where John's Brother, David (Patrick Holt), has a farm. Many trials and tribulations beset them as they travel north and the group quickly find themselves having to adapt both physically and morally to a rapidly changing and hostile world.

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John Custance is an archetypal alpha male and embodiment of the British officer class. He is pragmatic and is quick to adapt to the deteriorating situation. But he has moral and ethical limits. So when he forms a curious relationship with a young man called Pirrie (Anthony May), it is for a very specific reason. Pirrie is a sociopath who will happily turn a gun on anyone that impedes the ongoing plan. John determines he’s a necessary tool who can do some tasks that he may balk at. This becomes very clear when we first meet Pirrie at the local gun shop where he works. He doesn’t hesitate to shoot his boss and throw in his lot with John Custance when he learns of his plan to leave London. It is this initial instance of lawlessness that marks the families rapid moral decline. Later, after having been robbed themselves, the Custance family kill a couple in a farmhouse who refuse to give them shelter. “We have to fight to live, do you understand that?” John tells his young son and his friend. “Like the Westerns?” one replies. “Yes, like that”.

No Blade of Grass is very heavy handed with its themes and moral pronunciations. At the start of the film, the affluent dine in a restaurant while a news report on TV shows the realities of the ongoing famines elsewhere in the world. There are montages of stock footage showing pollution and sick animals to hammer home the message that this is a self-inflicted catastrophe. But like the director’s other films there is an earnestness to the proceedings. Sadly this gets somewhat lost in along the way due to the film’s exploitation trappings. There are numerous shootouts between civilians and the Army as well as other acts of violence. And then there’s a gratuitous double rape. The movie even manages to include footage of a real childbirth before a climactic battle between our group of survivors and a motorcycle gang, complete with Viking helmets. Wilde also uses flashforwards as well as flashbacks, colour filters and slow motion to make his point. There is even a bleak but charming folk song performed by Roger Whittaker that plays over the start and end credits.

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Violence is a reoccurring theme in all of Cornel Wilde’s films. As a director he often depicts that violence is key to survival and can galvanise people into action to forge something greater. However it can also lead to self-destruction and comes at a cost. John Custance learns that there is a price to pay for collaborating with the likes of Pirrie and that often manifests itself as human collateral damage. Social collapse and the realities of returning to a neo-feudal existence do not seem to be compatible with John’s old-world principles and ideals. His attempts to “preserve the heritage of man’s greatness” bear little fruit at the end of the film. He secures a safe place to live in the remote North of England but it takes a great deal of slaughter to do so. Furthermore the motley group of survivors he picks up along the way still harbour all the flaws of the old world, such as racial prejudice, greed and notions of exceptionalism. No Blade of Grass is a clumsy and somewhat lurid piece of film making. It certainly won’t be to everyone’s taste yet it is an interesting curiosity.

Gamergate: Ten years On

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Usually 10 year anniversaries are pleasant things to celebrate. Sadly that is not the case with Gamergate, which took place a decade ago this month. For me, this curious and unpleasant debacle was something that happened online and it didn’t impact upon my life directly. I wasn't threatened in any way, I didn't receive a tide of abuse and I didn't have to quit social media or my job. However for some people, that is exactly what did happen. I, like many others, just stood on the margins as events unfolded and looked on, agog as this exquisite car crash of a “movement” that proceeded to shoot itself and the wider gaming community collectively through the foot. It is no coincidence that this happened as gaming was becoming a mainstream pastime and slowly shedding a lot of the negative connotations associated with it. Gamergate purposely arrested that process. 

If you’re not au fait with Gamergate, Wikipedia has a substantive page about the affair that provides a comprehensive overview. To summarise, Gamergate originally claimed to be an informal online campaign that was lobbying for apolitical video games’ journalism. I don't dispute that there were some advocates who were focused on the failings of games journalism at the time but they were quickly drowned out by the bellicose rhetoric of others with a far less pleasant agenda. Gamergate quickly became a decentralised harassment campaign and a clear political backlash against feminism, diversity, representation and any form of progressivism in video game culture and communities. With hindsight and in light of the information that has subsequently come to light, Gamergate was part of the wider culture wars that have been stoked by right in the US for the last twenty years.

There were some positive aspects to Gamergate. Primarily that there was a market for diverse video games and game studios. Also that representation was not an impediment to sales. In fact by embracing such a philosophy you could potentially increase sales. It also proved that video games were not the exclusive prerogative of white males, although so much of the unpleasant pushback came from that group. Gamergate also shone a light upon the video games industry that proved it to be as problematic as any other leisure industry. The workplace was all too often toxic, prejudicial and exploitative. Misogyny was all too common. Gamergate was ultimately no different from comparable debacles that the music, film and TV industries have experienced over the years, highlighting identical problems. Gamergate also afforded many gamers an opportunity to see the entire industry for what it really is. IE Just as flawed as any other.

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Ten years on has anything changed as a result of Gamergate? I’d argue no. Gamers are a broad group of people, from multiple socio-economic groups. Apart from the common theme of a shared pastime, it would be illogical to expect there to be a consensus on major political, social and cultural issues. Hence there are gamers that still advocate and enjoy the benefits of inclusive gaming as there are those opposed to such perceived liberalism. At the time, Gamergate was a rude awakening for many gamers who were shocked to find that numerous bloggers, YouTube personalities and internet friends, were not on “the same page”  as they were. A decade later, it is not quite so surprising. Many influencers happily wear their hearts on their sleeve and I would argue that it’s a lot easier to identify who is who these days.

Upon reflection Gamergate was an inevitability. Too many gamers for too long erroneously thought that the gaming community was a unique flower. They failed to see that any activity will become a cultural battleground, once it becomes big enough. There appears to be a critical mass for any community and once exceeded, division and rancour always emerge. Perhaps it's just another integral aspect of the human condition. That's not to say that we should give up on pushing for change. The video games industry should be able to accommodate everyone’s needs. However, we need to recognise that big business is seldom a meritocracy. If left to its own devices it will seldom stray beyond the path of least resistance. As for the gamers in favour of Gamergate ten years ago, they’re still out there and their views haven’t changed. If anything they’re more confident and vocal. But that means there is less ambiguity nowadays. To see where someone stands, all one has to do is look.

The Case for a Written UK Constitution

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The United Kingdom is one of the few democratic countries in the world that does not have a single, written constitution. Others include Canada, New Zealand and Israel. To date, its constitution is a combination of written and unwritten sources, including statutes, common law, conventions and somewhat esoterically, royal prerogatives. The reason for this is predominantly historical. Since 1688, Britain has not experienced a revolution or regime change, which often leads to a constitutional initiative, such as the American or the French Revolution. Britain’s constitution has evolved slowly over time under relative stability and as such, it has never been deemed necessary to list the fundamental laws and principles of the country's political system.

The current constitution is deficient for three reasons. Its lack of clarity, its failure to properly protect fundamental rights and the inadequacy of the current devolution settlement for Scotland and Wales. Firstly, the fact that the UK’s constitution is not codified in a single document means that the place of certain key governmental mechanisms lack clarity. For example, the legal status of referendums has never been properly set out. Secondly, although Britain does have a Human Rights Act, that legislation does not enjoy the same status as a list of fundamental rights in a codified constitution. As it is not entrenched, it does not have any special protection and can be amended or overturned. The current devolution settlement requires a written constitution that properly sets out the position of the devolved administrations of Scotland and Wales and their respective powers.

Bearing this in mind, here are some arguments in favour of the UK adopting a written constitution:

Clarity and Accessibility:

A written constitution would provide a clear and easily accessible document outlining the fundamental principles and rights of all UK citizens. This can enhance public understanding of their rights and the functioning of the government. It would also provide those in government with clear parameters within which they have to work.

Legal Certainty:

A formal constitution would bring legal certainty, as it would serve as a supreme law that can be referred to in all legal disputes. This contrasts with the current situation where constitutional principles are dispersed among various sources which often leads to confusion and misinterpretation (both willful and accidental).

Protection of Rights:

Explicitly enumerating individual rights within the framework of a written constitution, would provide a stronger legal basis for citizens to challenge any encroachments on their rights. This may contribute to a more robust protection of civil liberties and greater public awareness of said rights.

Limitation of Government Power:

A clearly written, unambiguous constitution could establish clear checks and balances on the powers of different branches of government. Thus limiting the potential for abuse of power and ensuring a more effective separation of powers.

Modernisation and Adaptability:

Another key benefit of a written constitution, is the ability to be able to make relevant amendments and updates that reflect changing societal values and circumstances. This adaptability is often considered crucial in a rapidly evolving world. New socio-political issues, especially those driven by technology and the global environment, often need to be addressed as quickly as they emerge.

International Reputation:

Having a written constitution could enhance the UK's international reputation by aligning its governance structure with the constitutional norms followed by most democratic nations. Many international institutions are built upon mutually held ideas and concepts. Enshrining commonly held values and ideas often affords diplomatic, political and commercial benefits.

Citizen Engagement:

Having a clear constitution can positively impact civic education and engagement. Citizens can become more aware of the mechanics of government as well as their constitutional rights and responsibilities. A better informed electorate can make more effective political choices and become more active in local and national government.

Reducing Constitutional Uncertainty:

The lack of a written constitution can lead to uncertainty, particularly during times of constitutional crisis. The events arising from the Brexit referendum and the political deadlock that reached a peak in 2019 being a clear example. Having a clear and precise constitutional framework could provide a clear route for resolving such situations.

Judicial Review:

A written constitution would enhance the role of the judiciary in interpreting and enforcing constitutional principles through judicial review. This would therefore provide a strong mechanism for holding the government accountable, aiding or sanctioning them when circumstances required. It would also facilitate definitive answers on constitutional interpretation, far more efficiently.

Symbolic Value:

It can be argued that there is a positive, symbolic value to adopting a written constitution. It signals a commitment to transparency, democracy and the rule of law. It provides a cultural foundation upon which to build and a degree of social stability in knowing that certain principles are enshrined in law.

It is important to note that this is not an exhaustive list and opinions on this matter will naturally vary. There are also arguments against adopting a written constitution, with some people favouring the flexibility and evolutionary nature of the UK's current constitutional arrangements. The debate over whether the UK should have a written constitution continues and any constitutional change would likely be a significant and complex process.

Google Pixel Watch

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Four years ago I bought a Huawei Band 4 Pro smart band. At the time, I quite liked the idea of tracking health data and thought it would be useful as part of an exercise regime. I also bought a Fitbit Inspire 2 for Mrs P. However, after a while we both felt that our relationship with these devices, specifically the data they generated, was somewhat “arse about face”. IE We would find ourselves, walking around the lounge just to reach our step count target. We also felt that our smart bands were effectively nagging us rather than encouraging us. Needless to say, we both ended up ignoring a lot of the information that was being collated. Eventually Mrs P went back to using a regular wristwatch, while I soldiered on using my Huawei Band 4 Pro just as a timepiece. Then I started having problems with the strap. Or to be more precise the plastic clips that attached it kept breaking. I ended up buying about five replacements over a year and half.

So about a fortnight ago I decided to replace it. This was done on a whim without any major research. I wanted something closer to a traditional wristwatch, preferring that shape to the more rectangular smart band. So I read a few reviews on Amazon and decided upon a Google Pixel watch as I already have a Pixel 6 phone. Plus there was a good deal to be had at the time, so I bought the watch without much more thought. It arrived promptly and I then went about the process of setting it up, which judging by the simple diagrams in the accompanying literature, was supposed to be a proverbial “piece of cake”. Lies. Utter lies. To begin with, just pairing the watch with my phone was not as “quick and easy” as Google would have you believe. I have often found that Bluetooth is as temperamental as a cat deciding whether it wants to go outside or not. On this occasion that was exactly the case. 

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Next came updating the watch software. This too was a time consuming process. The software was downloaded via my phone (which was connected to the home wifi) and then transferred to the watch via Bluetooth. The phrase dawdling springs to mind. However, after an hour or two, these issues were all addressed and I finally put the damn thing on my wrist so I could tell the time. Then all the beeping started. This is because Google in their infinite wisdom has enabled every alert that the watch can possibly generate by default. Hence I was assailed by a litany of messages congratulating me on my ability to walk, having oxygen in my bloodstream and generally not being dead. Next, when the watch synchronised with my phone, I was bombarded further by every alert that infernal device produces. Oh how we laughed.

Finally, I opened the app for the watch on my phone and decided to tweak a few settings. This meant having a few YouTube videos beforehand, which is always a source of deep joy for me, due to my untrammelled love of humanity. We are truly blessed that so many fine orators and critical thinkers dain to share their wisdom with us lesser mortals via this medium. But I digress. Two week’s on I have a functional watch that tracks a multitude of data but doesn’t badger me about it incessantly. It does alert me of new emails , X and Mastodon notifications and new replies on Discord but I have chosen these notifications. So now instead of me endless checking my phone, I lavish attention on my watch instead. I feel like a Dick Tracy tribute act. Oh did I mention it needs charging every 24 hours? I could get 5 days or so out of my old smart band. But at least the strap doesn’t keep breaking.

LOTRO: The Lore-master is Broken

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I started playing The Lord of the Rings Online on On Monday 22nd December 2008. I still have the receipt in the box set that I bought, which included the base game Shadows of Angmar and the newly released expansion, Mines of Moria (it had been out about a month). This was my first MMORPG and unlike many other gamers, I had not previously played World of Warcraft. Hence, this was very much a new experience for me. I spent a lot of time pondering what race and class I would play and after reading the game manual thoroughly, (remember them?) I decided upon a human Lore-master. This proved to be a wise decision because I immediately took to the class with its mixture of ranged fire attacks and combat pets. As I am not an “altoholic” this has been my primary character in LOTRO for the last 15 plus years. I have played through every update and expansion with this Lore-master. A total time investment of 7 months, 1 week, 3 days and 5 hours.

Over the years I have enjoyed both the good times and bad times with LOTRO. There have been occasions when I have indulged in marathon sessions and other times when I’ve taken several months break from the game. But because of my love of Tolkien and my connection with the character that I’ve created, I always return. Over the years our Fellowship (guild) has waxed and waned. Many friends have come and gone from the game and sadly, some have passed away. Such is the nature of communities within the MMO genre. 15 years has also seen a lot of changes in the games development. Systems have been added and game mechanics have been changed. Mounted combat and epic battles proved unsuccessful. The change from a flexible trait system to a generic skills tree proved problematic. Yet despite various bumps along the way, the road continues to go on and on for LOTRO.

On July 31st, I logged into LOTRO as Update 41: On the Wing was being released that afternoon. I had been away from the game for several months and read that there were to be some class changes included in the latest patch. I took screen captures of my current build, so I could quickly return to it after any system reset. I then logged out, with a view to returning later. It was not until a few days ago that I logged back into LOTRO and I quickly discovered that developers, Standing Stone Games, hadn’t made minor adjustments to the Lore-master class but had radically retooled it. In the past I would have known chapter and verse about this matter well in advance. Nowadays, I have a more casual relationship with the game, so I was blissfully ignorant of the changes. Needless to say, I wasn’t the only player who was confused and frustrated by this decision to alter a class in this fashion.

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I won’t belabour casual readers with an excess of detail but all classes in LOTRO have the option to spend their skill points in three distinct skill trees. All of  which offer different abilities and play styles. These are colour coded. Blue is weighted towards buffing the Lore-master pets and making them a major focus of gameplay. Red is DPS specific, buffing most fire skills and such like. Yellow line is designed to make all Lore-master buffs and de-buffs more robust and is the favoured skills tree option for those playing group content. All of these have now been nerfed by SSG with certain skills being combined or removed altogether. The most egregious changes are to the red line option. The option that I’ve always favoured. Combat pets which could previously be summoned until manually dismissed, are now relegated to short term skills. You summon them, they fight for a short period and then vanish. These skills now have long cooldowns. Considering that the Lore-master is a pet class, this decision is illogical. It also spoils having these pets as companions when out of combat.

As a mature gamer, I am not prone anymore to gaming related tantrums. They are unseemly and ultimately change nothing. But as a player of LOTRO with 15 years plus standing, who has solely played the Lore-master class for that period, I am “disappointed”. Something that wasn’t broken to begin with has been diminished and is now demonstrably inferior to how it used to be. The irony is this isn’t the first time such decisions have been made during LOTRO’s lifespan and I suspect that it will happen again. SSG developers have a habit of being tone deaf to players’ likes and dislikes and indifferent to any upset or inconvenience they cause. They have an unedifying habit of “always knowing better”, regardless of whether they do or not. As for me, I spent a little time experimenting with the new red line build and then abandoned it. I have not at present chosen an alternative option and have logged out, with no immediate plans to return anytime soon. Nothing remains the same forever but this was a crass decision by the developers and it has now degraded mine and other players’ gaming experience. Bravo SSG, bravo.

Stop Overthinking and Write

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This post is an experiment, insofar that I haven’t planned it. That is the central theme of the piece. Sometimes, when you have an idea, just run with it. Don’t overthink things. Don’t obsess over style. Don’t worry about mistakes. Just get your ideas down and see where they take you.

Usually, I will write following a process. An idea is developed through points or arguments. These are then collated into a logical order with a summary added at the end. It’s a formal approach that I picked up from my science lessons at school. Back then, writing up an experiment had a specific structure. You first defined what the experiment was investigating. Next, you espoused your theory or predictions. Then you noted how you conducted the experiment. After that, you analysed the results. Then finally you drew your conclusions. It is a tried and tested method. It also works well when debating a point or critiquing something such as a film, book or piece of art. But it isn’t appropriate for all kinds of writing, as its rigidity can cause restrictions.

For example, if I were writing about my day and what I’ve done, a far less formal style of writing is beneficial. A stream of consciousness comes to mind. I could structure a post listing the day’s events in chronological order but that would be rather dry. Nope, I think burbling away in a light hearted manner is far more appropriate. You can also go off at tangents, as our thought processes so often do. For example, I mentioned my science lessons at school. I’m now reflecting as I write, upon anecdotes from my school days. For example, how in 1983, we built a full size, working replica of a ballista in our classical history class. It only got fired once, then the local police got involved. Happy days.

Another great thing about writing from the hip, is that you can adopt a far more conversational tone. You don’t have to worry too much about the rules of grammar. I often equate posts written in this manner to be like talking to your friends down the pub or at some other informal gathering. And if you really want to be bold, you can write your own inner monologue down verbatim.

“Is that wise?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you may come off looking like a nut.”

“Nonsense. One of the benefits of talking to yourself is you don’t put up with any stupidity”

“Are you sure about that?”

Sometimes you have to be self disciplined. If you want to get some writing done, you need to avoid distractions, knuckle down and just get on with it. I often find that on the days when I’m procrastinating, once I actually start typing things get better. It’s a bit like getting into a swimming pool that you suspect may be a little cold. Once you get in, there’s a bit of an initial shock and then you acclimatise. At least with blogging there’s no risk of getting a verruca. If there is, you’re doing it wrong.

There are numerous different approaches to writing, all of which have their own merits. It’s a question of trying them all and finding what works for you. There is no one size fits all when it comes to maintaining a personal blog. Experiment with everything from style to your writing environment. Just don’t fall into the trap of overthinking your point when writing, or how you want to say it. Think efficiently but not excessively. The most important thing to do is just to write. Get your thoughts down on the virtual page and then revise and polish them afterwards. 

N.B. I wrote this post in 23 minutes. Which is very quick for me. Hopefully it makes the point I was driving at. Don’t overthink. Just write.

Hot Fuzz (2007)

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PC Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is an exemplary Police Officer, with a strict adherence to the letter of the law. As a result of making the rest of the London Metropolitan Police look bad, he is transferred to the rural town of Sandford, Gloucestershire. On arrival, Angel finds that the local Inspector, Frank Butterman (Jim Broadbent), takes a far more laissez-faire approach to policing. His colleagues are incompetent and he is further hampered by the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance (NWA), who prioritise low crime statistics over law enforcement due to their desire to win the title of “Village of the Year”. Furthermore, Angel is partnered with the Inspector’s son, Constable Danny Butterman (Nick Frost), who is infatuated with “buddy cop” movies and is in awe of Angel’s London experience. “Have you ever fired two guns while jumping through the air?” However, a sudden spate of grisly accidents lead Angel to believe that there's more to the seemingly tranquil and picture-perfect community than meets the eye.

Hot Fuzz, co-written and directed by Edgar Wright, is at first glance a satire on the buddy cop and action genres that dominated Hollywood during the eighties and nineties. Upon closer scrutiny, it also has wry takes on the Agatha Christie “whodunit”, folk horror and slasher movies. Thematically, there are references, asides and homages to such classic films as Dirty Harry, The Wicker Man and multiple John Woo titles. Stylistically, Hot Fuzz uses many visual techniques common in the work of director Tony Scott. Edgar Wright cleverly takes these elements and effectively uses them in the incongruous setting of a rural UK town. It is the depiction of these US and Hong Kong action movie tropes through the lens of British comedy with its uniquely dry perspective that makes these conceits work so well.

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Hot Fuzz is bolstered by an excellent cast of UK character actors, such as Timothy Dalton, Edward Woodward and Billie Whitelaw, many of whom are sending up former roles they are well known for. Dalton particularly relishes his role as a moustache twirling villain who runs the town’s supermarket. There is also a very clear chemistry between Simon Pegg and Nick Frost which helps them navigate the clever and knowing script. The humour is broad, including slapstick, wordplay and dark satire. Yet despite its tongue in cheek nature, the film manages to tread that fine line between homage and plagiarism. There is also a very intelligent score by David Arnold, that draws on the established overwrought idiom of the action genre.

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Peter Jackson uncredited cameo

Due to the amount of detail found in Hot Fuzz, the film holds up well to multiple viewings. Pausing playback to read a sign in a shop window or some other minor detail will often yield a hidden gag. Sadly, the frenetic editing and the hand cranked camera work do become somewhat tiresome after a time. The film’s two hour running time could have been tightened to something ten minutes shorter. Due to the ubiquitous nature of the action movie genre, Hot Fuzz is just a little too on the nose at times, hence it doesn’t quite hit the mark as assuredly as Wright’s previous film, Shaun of the Dead. However, these are minor quibbles. If you’re in the market for a film somewhere between the Bad Boys franchise and Inspector Morse, then Hot Fuzz has much to offer. A convoluted plot, a cast shamelessly sending themselves and the genre up, car chases, shootouts and so many throw away lines. “He’s not Judge Judy and executioner”.

Blogging and AI

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This year’s Blaugust: Festival of Blogging has been presented with a very curious and contemporary conundrum. To put it succinctly, one of the participants uses AI to generate their blog posts. Hence, there is now a debate among the Blaugust community as to whether this is appropriate or not. At first glance, participating in an event that exists to promote creative writing with content written via a third party AI or Large Language Models, seems contradictory. Yet upon further reflection, such technological services are ultimately tools, albeit complex ones. Is it therefore right to take a fundamentalist stance against their use? Seeking a new perspective on this matter, I thought it would be novel to ask this question of an AI, itself. So I put the following question to ChatGenie. I found its response most interesting.

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Question: I'm participating in an online event that promotes blogging. Should we allow AI generated blog posts?

ChatGenie’s Answer:

Whether or not to allow AI-generated blog posts in your event is a complex question with no easy answer. Here's a breakdown of the arguments for and against, to help you make an informed decision:

Arguments for allowing AI-generated blog posts:

• Accessibility: AI can help anyone create content, even those without strong writing skills. This expands participation and democratises blogging.

• Efficiency: AI can generate content quickly, allowing participants to focus on other aspects of their blog or business.

• Experimentation: Allowing AI posts can be a way to explore new avenues in content creation and explore the potential of AI in the blogging world.

Arguments against allowing AI-generated blog posts:

• Authenticity: AI-generated content lacks the human touch, personal voice, and original insights that often define good blogging. It can feel formulaic and impersonal.

• Ethical Concerns: There are ongoing debates about the ethics of AI-generated content and its potential impact on human creativity and jobs.

• Quality Control: AI-generated content can be inconsistent in quality, leading to potential issues with accuracy, factual errors, and plagiarism.

• Lack of Engagement: Readers might find AI-generated content less engaging and less likely to comment or interact with it, potentially harming the event's overall community aspect.

Possible Solutions:

• Clearly define rules and guidelines: Be transparent about what constitutes an acceptable blog post and whether AI use is allowed. Consider setting specific limitations, such as requiring human editing or original content contributions.

• Focus on human interaction: Emphasise aspects of the event that encourage collaboration, discussion, and peer-to-peer learning. This can help create a more engaging and authentic experience, regardless of how the content is generated.

• Offer different categories: Consider having separate categories for AI-generated content and human-written content, allowing participants to choose which they prefer to engage with.

• Promote transparency: Encourage participants to disclose if their posts are AI-generated, allowing readers to make informed choices about what they consume.

Ultimately, the decision to allow AI-generated blog posts is yours. Consider your event's goals, target audience, and values, and choose an approach that aligns with your vision.

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I consider ChatGenie’s response to be both logical and measured. While drafting this post, I wrote several bullet points regarding the pros and cons of allowing AI created posts into an event such as Blaugust. They were remarkably similar to the AI’s reply. However, being a writer of 17 years standing, I think it is fair to say I have a proverbial “horse in this race”. Hence, I don’t actually feel the need to be impartial and reasonable on this occasion. However, there is a major point to be addressed before we get to my personal view. Blaugust is the brainchild of Belghast from Tales of the Aggronaut. It therefore falls to him to adjudicate on this matter and as he didn’t stipulate that AI generated content was excluded from the event, it will remain this year. I suspect there will be caveats set for next year’s Blaugust.

So where do I stand in this debate? I am against AI generated blogs participating in Blaugust. I have written many times that one of the main attractions I like about blogging is getting to know the author via their work. One’s use of language and cultural references as well as our overall blogging voice are very revealing. I would go so far as to say that through some strange psychological form of osmosis, something of the author bleeds into their written work. That is not the case with AI generated content which is an imperfect facsimile of multiple peoples prose. AI produces an approximation, a caricature, even a bastardisation of human writing. As a concept, AI produced writing is a classic example of the culture of “cakeism” that exists in western society today. It embodies the conceit of wanting to have the kudos associated with a creative process, without having to do any of the work.

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Sadly, I am fully aware that I am swimming against the tide on this matter. Hence I have no intention of making this a proverbial hill to die on. I shall simply curse in vain like King Lear and then move on and take comfort in my own writing. It may be imperfect but it is authentic. As for the argument that AI generated content is a tool, I shall concede the point that it is. But like most tools, how it is used defines how it is perceived. A hammer wielded with great skill can carefully break a rock, revealing a gem of unsurpassed beauty inside. Or it can be savagely used by the secret police to smash the teeth from the dissident’s mouth. Literally and figuratively crushing dissent. I suspect that AI will ultimately devalue creative writing which will become an increasingly rare and niche market product. Which is why I advise those who enjoy genuine writing to live in the moment and to savour the current status quo.

My Current Writing Environment

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During the course of previous Blaugust events, I’ve discussed my writing environment several times. Where and how you write is a subject that is worth revisiting because having a place where you can work unimpeded is an important factor in blogging regularly and successfully. Some people are very easy going when it comes to when and where they write. They will blog on a phone or tablet while commuting, or on their laptop while eating lunch in their work cafeteria. Others prefer a quiet office, free from distractions where they can collate their thoughts in comfort. I personally favour the latter and use the spare bedroom in our bungalow as an office. Looking back over my prior posts, it is clear that my physical writing environment seems to be growing over time. Curiously, despite acquiring more peripherals, the basic tools that I use to write have broadly remained the same for the last decade or so.

I subscribe to Office 365 primarily to have access to Outlook, which I use to manage eleven email accounts. It is a hangover from my working days and although there are alternatives products, I just like the functionality that Outlook offers and the fact that I’m very familiar with it. However, despite having Office 365 I don’t use Word as my primary means of writing blog posts. I use Google Drive for this and have it as one of the tabs that opens by default when I launch Google Chrome. Subsequently it is easy to start a new document or return to one that requires editing. Complete documents can be downloaded and archived in Word format. Google Drive also has the advantage of being readily accessible on other devices, which prior to my retirement was very useful when travelling between multiple sites. I use Microsoft Paint to resize images and if a picture needs any tinkering or fine tuning, I use whatever free online tools are available.

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I have recently added the extension New Tab Draft to Google Chrome. This adds the functionality of Notepad to a new tab opened in your web browser. This is excellent for writing notes, copying text and removing formatting. Furthermore any text written persists after closing your browser. It is stored safely in Chrome Local Storage not via the cloud. Before anyone takes umbrage at my use of Google Chrome, I also have Firefox, Edge and Opera installed on my PC. All are used for specific tasks. Opera is especially useful as it has a basic VPN functionality. I run AdBlocker Ultimate to keep the scourge of pop-ups at bay and manage my password via Bitwarden. I previously used LastPass. Archive Page is another extension that I find very useful. This is a public means of archiving news posts and retrieving them. It is excellent for accessing posts that are gated behind paywalls.

I still have the same desk I bought four years ago. I have two FHD monitors and a fairly decent soundbar for my audio needs. We recently upgraded our internet connection and received a new router which sits behind my screens out of the way. There is a Yeti X microphone gathering dust on my desk, along with a Nintendo Switch. I have a wireless Xbox controller for the games I deem require it. There is also a charging cradle for my phone. Next to the desk is a small table with a Brother multifunction wireless laser printer (MFC-L2710DW). It’s a black and white only model but it suits my needs and is cheap to run. I have a pair of Sony bluetooth headphones which also doubles as a gaming headset. As I am a fastidious creature, I have a USB vacuum cleaner and a keyboard cleaning kit. My desk is a dust magnet and so I clean it weekly.

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I always keep a notebook to hand and I have my trusty Feather’s McGraw water bottle so that I can stay hydrated. There’s a coaster for cups of coffee or bottles of beer. Over time, ornaments, novelty items and lucky gonks have been removed from my desk. This decluttering process has mainly been driven by my grandson, who is now banned from my office unsupervised. He likes to spin in my computer chair and mess with my shit. I used to buy fancy mouse mats and at one point had one of those ones that takes up most of your desk and has LEDs around the edge. However I find that fabric mouse mats get dirty quickly, so I now buy multipacks of them and change them every quarter. My wired Razer keyboard and mouse are holding up well despite my heavy handling. I’ve written before about how I get through a lot of peripherals.

My PC is not just for writing. I use it for gaming, listening to music, watching films and perusing the internet and keeping an eye on social media. It is a multipurpose tool which tends to be turned on first thing in the morning and turned off just before bed. As a concession to old school administration, I have an “in tray” on the shelf under my printer where any mail that I receive is stored. It remains there until it is actioned and then it is filed away in a box file. I favour a closed door policy when writing as I like to be free from distractions and able to concentrate. I tend to write notes first and then flesh them out and put them in a relevant order. Some posts will take less than an hour to write and others several. I find the act of writing very calming, even if it’s a subject that troubles me. I suspect the comfort of my environment contributes to my writing process and is thus part of the overall catharsis.