The Junk Cupboard
Whether you are tidy by default or not, there is always a cupboard, a draw, a room, a basement or an attic in your home that can conveniently store items until you can properly determine what to do with them. Over time, the contents of this temporary storage space will grow as it is continuously topped up. Eventually circumstances dictate that you must go through this ad hoc collection, because you need to find something specific or because there is simply no space left. Either way, this is often a Herculean task and one we feel well ill disposed towards undertaking. But needs must when the Devil drives, as the saying goes. Hence, the other day I had to go through the cupboard in the space room (which I like to think of as my office but this is disputed). Like most chores that are continuously deferred, it didn’t take as long as I anticipated.
Whether you are tidy by default or not, there is always a cupboard, a draw, a room, a basement or an attic in your home that can conveniently store items until you can properly determine what to do with them. Over time, the contents of this temporary storage space will grow as it is continuously topped up. Eventually circumstances dictate that you must go through this ad hoc collection, because you need to find something specific or because there is simply no space left. Either way, this is often a Herculean task and one we feel well ill disposed towards undertaking. But needs must when the Devil drives, as the saying goes. Hence, the other day I had to go through the cupboard in the space room (which I like to think of as my office but this is disputed). Like most chores that are continuously deferred, it didn’t take as long as I anticipated.
The cupboard in “the office” is actually a fitted unit. It has been used to store surplus bed linen, the grandchildren’s toys and what is best described as “old technology”. This consists of power adaptors from old or discarded equipment, VGA and DVI cables, old hard drives, mice and keyboards. Then there are USB hubs, patch cables, Bluetooth dongles and a mountain of software on various media. I could list more items but I’m sure you get the picture. It’s amazing how disposable technology has become and more to the point how it now fills and clutters are home. Now I wrote not so long ago a post about passing on old technology and I believe I may have even referenced this very cupboard. Sadly, after emptying the entire contents out, I discovered that there is very little that can be used or salvaged.
Furthermore, the pandemic and ongoing lockdown makes it very difficult to dispose of this sort of household waste. The local Borough has a very good recycling policy and a depot where under usual circumstances, you can drop off old equipment with ease. However, at present these premises are somewhat overwhelmed. They are short staffed due to COVID-19 and swamped as people such as myself are using their spare time to sort through their old rubbish. Hence I haven’t been able to dispose of anything by this method. I managed to find a couple of local charities that would be interested in items such as keyboards, monitors and ageing PCs but again the lockdown made arranging a prompt collection impossible. So I sadly decided to place most of the cabling, software and small peripherals into my standard household refuse for collection. As long as it is packaged correctly the council said it is acceptable to dispose of it this way.
As of today this cupboard has been cleared of the majority of its content. The grandchildren’s toys have been sorted, tidied and the broken ones disposed of. The bed linen has now been placed in an Ottoman and is now far easier to access when required. The majority of the old tech items were placed in black refuse sacks and placed in the appropriate wheelie bin. It was somewhat discombobulating to see a box of DOS disks being binned, along with an early nineties MP3 player and a BT Hub 3 (ADSL router). These were at one point items with a cost associated with them but now it’s just superfluous plastic and copper to be recycled. I kept an old PC base unit and a spare monitor but pretty much everything else went. I was tempted to see if the TOCA Touring Cars game for the PC would still run but I suspect it won’t on Windows 10, so that went too.
I am not a hoarder by nature and regular readers may be aware, from the occasional picture I post of my desk, that I like order and good organisation. However, it was most satisfying to finally clear this cupboard. I did something similar last September with all my clothes. The criteria there was, if something hasn’t been worn for over 18 month then it can go. That too was a cathartic experience. However, perhaps the most curious part of this tale lies in what this newly found cupboard space has been used for. I recently collected my Father’s ashes from the Crematorium. His mortal remains currently reside in a plastic container that has been tastefully packaged in a cardboard box. It weighs about 5lbs or so. He left instructions for his ashes to be interred with his parents but in the present lockdown, I cannot travel to the designated location. So for the meantime, he resides in the cupboard with a signed photograph of Peter Cushing and all my podcasting equipment. I’m sure he would laugh at the situation.
COVID-19 Pandemic 2021 Part 8
It is now ten months since The World Health organization declared a global pandemic. The UK is now enduring its third lockdown. The only difference this time is that we are now facing several new strains of COVID-19 and the public is divided over the restrictions. The Government has consistently failed over the last year to take any meaningful action and the country effectively finds itself back at square one. To date, the UK has no functional test and trace system in place, nor are the country’s borders fully controlled in an effective manner. Flights from certain countries are banned but connecting flights can circumnavigate this problem. Only now are passengers tested for COVID-19 on arrival. PPE and glass vials are in short supply. Post Brexit “administrative issues” now threaten to delay stocks of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 Vaccine. The National Health Service is struggling to cope. All these issues are further exacerbated by a partisan press and a population that appears to be at war with itself.
It is now ten months since The World Health organization declared a global pandemic. The UK is now enduring its third lockdown. The only difference this time is that we are now facing several new strains of COVID-19 and the public is divided over the restrictions. The Government has consistently failed over the last year to take any meaningful action and the country effectively finds itself back at square one. To date, the UK has no functional test and trace system in place, nor are the country’s borders fully controlled in an effective manner. Flights from certain countries are banned but connecting flights can circumnavigate this problem. Only now are passengers tested for COVID-19 on arrival. PPE and glass vials are in short supply. Post Brexit “administrative issues” now threaten to delay stocks of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 Vaccine. The National Health Service is struggling to cope. All these issues are further exacerbated by a partisan press and a population that appears to be at war with itself.
Now it is a common refrain from certain quarters not to “politicise” the response to the ongoing crisis. However, such a claim is risible and staggeringly crass. The UK Government is currently led by a strong Conservative Party majority. Furthermore they have been in power continuously since 2010 and have therefore shaped the political landscape of the country during that time. Hence not only are they directly responsible for their immediate response to the pandemic, which has clearly been driven by their political ideology but they are also responsible for the national services and infrastructure that are currently failing to cope. It would appear that a decade of cuts, politically driven underfunding and semi-privatization has left many institutions woefully under equipped to deal with the current situation. Let us not delude ourselves. Government policy and the Prime Minister himself are directly responsible for where the UK finds itself at present. A country with the third highest COVID-19 death rate in the world (weekly average deaths per million).
Sadly, how we got to this point is far from a mystery and is the inevitable consequence of decades of political, educational and sociological decline. If this pandemic had struck during the seventies or eighties, I believe it would have been handled better by both the governments and the population of the time. Politicians, public institutions and a sense of society were all more robust back then. However, hindsight does not really alter where we are now. The important issue is what happens next. Vaccinating the nation is the top priority although it doesn’t immediately resolve the problem of COVID-19. Even if everyone in the country could be vaccinated by tomorrow, it would take a while for infection rates to fall. However, rolling out the vaccine is proving problematic at present and the Government has made a controversial decision regarding the time period between doses. Pfizer, the manufacturer of one brand, recommends 21 days between doses. The UK Government has elected to change this to 12 weeks to ensure more people initially receive the vaccine. Again, we find UK policy at odds with other countries.
The question on everyone’s lips is obviously, what happens next? Well for the immediate future, I suspect just more of the same. I do believe that the UK population will eventually be fully vaccinated, although I think that may not be until the end of the year. There will be a percentage of the population that will choose not to do so and therefore there will still be regional, localised COVID-19 outbreaks. I suspect that the virus will become something we have to live with, like seasonal flu. Beyond controlling pandemic, the UK is facing a worsening economic recession. Unemployment is rising and will continue to do so. Inflation is now becoming an increasing worry. And then there is the ongoing fallout of leaving the EU. At some point the cost of the pandemic has to be addressed so there is the threat of increased taxation and a return to austerity. If the postponed Council and Mayoral elections are held this year (and it remains to be seen if they are), then I suspect there may be a strong protest vote. For those hoping that 2021 will be an improvement on the previous year, it may be wise to revise your expectations.
Keeping Up
I was a teenager during the eighties and the music that I listened to at the time was a major part of my overall experience. My musical taste influenced how I dressed and sometimes even determined friendships. Going to a gig and seeing music performed live was a major rite of passage. Furthermore, due to there only being a handful of TV channels in the UK at the time, meant that certain key programs were responsible for the dissemination of a broad spectrum of musical genres. Hence, while you waited for a band that you liked to come on, you’d sit and be exposed to a wealth of different artists. Something that tends not to happen nowadays as there is far more choice available. My passion for music persisted throughout the nineties and then began to wane round about the turn of the century. Work and the practicalities of daily life made it increasingly difficult to “keep up”. I used to read the music press and know about contemporary artists. I no longer do this. I often don’t even know what the current Number 1 record is.
I was a teenager during the eighties and the music that I listened to at the time was a major part of my overall experience. My musical taste influenced how I dressed and sometimes even determined friendships. Going to a gig and seeing music performed live was a major rite of passage. Furthermore, due to there only being a handful of TV channels in the UK at the time, meant that certain key programs were responsible for the dissemination of a broad spectrum of musical genres. Hence, while you waited for a band that you liked to come on, you’d sit and be exposed to a wealth of different artists. Something that tends not to happen nowadays as there is far more choice available. My passion for music persisted throughout the nineties and then began to wane round about the turn of the century. Work and the practicalities of daily life made it increasingly difficult to “keep up”. I used to read the music press and know about contemporary artists. I no longer do this. I often don’t even know what the current Number 1 record is.
The last twenty years has seen a major shift in focus of youth culture. The sales of physical media such as CDs have declined and music is now consumed via streaming services or even YouTube. The concept of the album is waning. Consumers favour selected tracks and personally curated playlists, rather than sitting down and studiously listening to all the tracks from a classic album in order. Traditional terrestrial TV no longer commands the audiences that it used to. Streaming TV means we can watch what we want, when we want. Subsequently, younger people no longer make TV such a focal point of their leisure activities. Twitch, YouTube are often their first ports of call for information, news and finding out about the things they enjoy. And then there are video games. A medium that for many is now the major social hub of their online activities. For many, games are where you find out about music and pop culture by the references that exist within them. Traditional mediums are no longer a core facet of their culture. Therefore the following article on the Guardian website came as no surprise. If you’re sceptical, ask any parent who has a child old enough to be enamoured with Fortnite.
I see no point in lamenting these social changes, nor passing judgement upon them. As Spock said “change is the essential process of all existence” and who am I to contradict such wisdom? Being au fait with a particular subject can at times feel like a job in itself. Certainly, keeping abreast of the music I liked felt that way during my teen years. It took time and effort to read the music press and then listen to everything. Plus this interest would then compete with my love of cinema, as both would monopolise large swathes of time. Frankly, reaching an age when I could let some of these things slide was a major relief. Between 2006 and 2011 I worked as an IT contractor and would often find myself in an environment in which a radio would be on all day, often tuned to a generic commercial channel. It is interesting how exposure to such a thing, even if you are not consciously paying attention to it, suddenly increases your familiarity. For a short period I became aware of the UK charts once again.
For over a decade, I have been writing to varying degrees about the video games industry and that has become a focal point of interest and fandom for me. Like music in my youth, this has dictated what I read, what media I consume online and has even had an impact upon the social circles in which I move. Sadly, I find that my excitement for this genre is waning, as it has exactly the same failings as other entertainment industries. And so I find myself once again at a point where I feel it is time to simply stop immersing myself in this particular interest. That not to say that I shall ignore it outright. I shall simply start to slow down my consumption of industry news and stop trying to be aware of all major new releases and industry trends. I shall swap being proactive with reactive. If an interesting nugget of gaming news crosses my path or I encounter a new game that has become a talking point, I shall no doubt write about such things. But I no longer feel the need to spend the first 90 minutes of my day, trying to read dozens of gaming news articles via Feedly.
One of the best lessons anyone can learn in life is that you cannot do everything. Once I made peace with this concept I felt a lot better in myself. Therefore it is not so difficult nowadays to let a hobby or pastime go. I miss podcasting but I cannot see myself fitting all the work it entails into my schedule. At present I have sufficient time to play games, watch movies and read. Those activities provide me with sufficient material to write about. But I no longer feel a compulsion to totally immerse myself into my leisure activities, nor do I seek to be an “armchair expert”. It no longer bothers me if someone mentions an artist that I’m not immediately familiar with. If I’m sufficiently interested then Google will yield an answer. Therefore, I am content to embrace the cyclical nature of fandom, hobbies and interests. I prefer now to savour a bottle of fine wine rather than strive to consume the entire vintage.
Looking After Your Mental Wellbeing
Very few people had a “good” 2020. I won’t bore you with a list of my personal woes as I’m sure you have plenty of your own. Plus everything is relative. We shouldn’t compare apples with oranges. Like many people, I now find myself fatigued by the ongoing global events and the conspicuous absence of normality. I like to consider myself quite a robust person. I have endured difficult times in the past and have come through them by remaining calm and focused. However, the nebulous and seemingly never ending nature of the global pandemic is extremely wearing. Let it suffice to say that I feel singularly unmotivated at present. Writing, which is usually a great pleasure, is currently a chore. I am also troubled by something that I personally find most unusual. A sense of sadness. And it doesn’t seem to want to go away.
Very few people had a “good” 2020. I won’t bore you with a list of my personal woes as I’m sure you have plenty of your own. Plus everything is relative. We shouldn’t compare apples with oranges. Like many people, I now find myself fatigued by the ongoing global events and the conspicuous absence of normality. I like to consider myself quite a robust person. I have endured difficult times in the past and have come through them by remaining calm and focused. However, the nebulous and seemingly never ending nature of the global pandemic is extremely wearing. Let it suffice to say that I feel singularly unmotivated at present. Writing, which is usually a great pleasure, is currently a chore. I am also troubled by something that I personally find most unusual. A sense of sadness. And it doesn’t seem to want to go away.
I recently wrote about plans for the New Year and mentioned a personal weight loss and fitness regime. I think I will now add to that a mental health element to try and maintain calm and stable demeanour. Looking after your mental health shouldn’t be a last minute consideration, only to be worried about when things go wrong. It should be treated the same as our physical health and given as much consideration. So I’ve done a little reading online to see if I can find some simple tips to improve my mental wellbeing. There’s plenty of information out there but it’s also a field rife with quackery. Luckily the UK NHS has some practical and straightforward advice. Essentially these are reframe unhelpful thoughts, be in the present, sleep well, connect with others and try to live a physically healthy lifestyle. Sound advice although it may not be as easy to implement it all.
I certainly will extol the merit of reframing unhelpful thoughts. Once you become aware of how you react in specific situations (which may be in a negative way), you can change such behaviour. Cognitive behavioural therapy is simple in principle but it can be life changing. Being in the moment is also a liberating state of mind. I tend not to look any further than the month ahead at present and focus on what is at hand, rather than worry about issues that haven’t yet become a direct problem. Sleep is an issue for me at present. My smart band collates data on the quality of my sleep and it’s not as good as it could be. Essentially my problem is one of relaxation. My mind is often still actively engaged when I should be sleeping. So I’ve been trying to find a way to mentally drop down a gear in the late evening.
“Seek and you will find” as the expression goes. Last night I was idly channel surfing when I stumbled across The Joy of Painting on BBC iPlayer. It’s been a while since I watched this show, yet within minutes the calming tones of Bob Ross and his gentle wordplay (“happy trees”) had defused my tension and replaced it with a sense of composure. This morning I felt that I had enjoyed a better night’s sleep. So I think the key in the future is to try and avoid an excess of “stimulus” after a certain time. I certainly think having a cut off point for social media or watching the news may be beneficial. I’m not advocating going cold turkey and shutting oneself off from the world. But I do think there comes a point in the day where it’s best to put some things back in their respective box and keep others at arm’s length.
I’d be very interested to hear from readers who have their own equivalent to watching Bob Ross as well as whatever methods they use to maintain a healthy state of mind. We are fortunate that we live at a time where talking about one’s mental wellbeing is no longer so difficult. The old school stiff upper lip mindset has been debunked as it often results in emotionally broken people. I hope I can find my sense of mental equilibrium again and see a return of my usual levels of motivation. And let us not forget to share a kind word with those we interact with both online and in day to day life. In these difficult times it is important to be aware that not everyone has the same support networks. Also not everyone will be coping the same and some folk still tend to put on a brave public face. Kenneth Williams said it the best. “Drowning, not waving”. So let us not add to each other’s problems.
Goodbye 2020
A very wise Vulcan once said “change is the essential process of all existence”. 2020 has demonstrated that unequivocally. How our privileged, pampered lives have altered over the last twelve months. We’ve had to stay at home, curtail our social interactions and reflect upon the meaning of existence. I appreciate that things are relative, so it’s not helpful to compare the concerns that discombobulate people today with the realities that folk had to endure during World War II for example. I won’t trivialise the sense of isolation and desperation some folk have felt over the lockdown. From my own perspective, my life as a carer is regimented and focused, so 2020 hasn’t really “cramped my style” to use an old fashioned phrase. However, several things happened over the course of the year that have had an impact upon myself and my family.
A very wise Vulcan once said “change is the essential process of all existence”. 2020 has demonstrated that unequivocally. How our privileged, pampered lives have altered over the last twelve months. We’ve had to stay at home, curtail our social interactions and reflect upon the meaning of existence. I appreciate that things are relative, so it’s not helpful to compare the concerns that discombobulate people today with the realities that folk had to endure during World War II for example. I won’t trivialise the sense of isolation and desperation some folk have felt over the lockdown. From my own perspective, my life as a carer is regimented and focused, so 2020 hasn’t really “cramped my style” to use an old fashioned phrase. However, several things happened over the course of the year that have had an impact upon myself and my family.
In April I fell ill with COVID-19. My symptoms were not sufficiently bad enough to require hospitalisation but it was a singularly unpleasant experience. The feeling of having restricted breathing as if I was being held in a perpetual bearhug, was most disconcerting. My biggest fear was infecting Mrs P who is unfortunately in a high risk group due to her heart condition. The initial symptoms burnt themselves out within two weeks but it took at least another three to four months before I felt healthy again. And then in late August my 90 year old Father became ill and was hospitalised. He endured four years of very poor health after several strokes and frankly he was fed up with it all. He passed away on September 16th. Due to COVID -19, I could only visit him once in hospital. It then fell to me to sort everything out. I still to this day do not feel I’ve grieved “properly”. Every time I think I’m coping well something trivial reminds me he’s not about anymore and I suddenly become aware that I miss him profoundly.
Another terrible weight that many have laboured under, here in the UK, has been the state of contemporary politics. Irrespective of whether you specifically voted for the incumbent government, one naturally expected them to rise to the occasion when faced with a national crisis. Because COVID-19 and Brexit are issues that should be considered above petty, partisan politics. Sadly that has not been the case. Boris Johnson has handled both issues poorly and is surrounded by an equally inept cabinet. The country is still terribly divided and he’s made no attempts to build bridges or pour oil on troubled waters. He is untrustworthy, a liar and shambolic in his rhetorical style. His paucity of talent, along with his dishevelled appearance, denigrates the office he currently occupies. He lacks principles and conviction which means he will never commit to anything that requires him to maintain a position. Hence he is late to deal with things and does so in a weak, non-committal fashion. Sadly, we have to endure this inept, coward and his craven government for another four years.
Mercifully, it hasn’t all been doom and gloom. 2020 has shown that there are still plenty talented, focused and empathetic people in the world. From healthcare professionals to the staff in the supermarket and delivery drivers. While some of our so-called best have proven to be dull and tarnished, some everyday folk have pulled together, gone the extra mile and truly shone this year. Another positive event to reflect upon is that Trump lost the US election and the entire world will not have to endure his insane ramblings in 2021. His departure certainly doesn’t fix the broken state of US politics but every journey has to begin with a first step. And on a personal note, I get to meet my new Grandson in February. So the next twelve months have some positive aspects already. The COVID-19 vaccines won’t solve everything and I’m sure the immediate future is going to be tough. But as Churchill may or may not have said, “if you're going through hell, keep going”. Wise words. Onwards and upwards I say.
COVID-19 Pandemic 2020 Part 7
Although I don’t especially enjoy doing so, I thought it prudent to update this series of blog posts about the state of the COVID-19 pandemic here in the UK. A lot has happened in the last few weeks and there has been a degree of optimism in some quarters, because of the news regarding the vaccine and hopes that the lockdown rules would be “relaxed” over the festive season. However, those who look beyond tabloid and 10 Downing Street propaganda, have had growing concerns that the chickens are coming home to roost and it would appear that is now happening. A new strain of COVID-19 has been identified and is now spreading rapidly in London and the South East. It does not appear to be deadlier than the original strain but the increased speed at which it spreads is the major concern. The National Health Service is very worried about reaching capacity of ICU beds.
Although I don’t especially enjoy doing so, I thought it prudent to update this series of blog posts about the state of the COVID-19 pandemic here in the UK. A lot has happened in the last few weeks and there has been a degree of optimism in some quarters, because of the news regarding the vaccine and hopes that the lockdown rules would be “relaxed” over the festive season. However, those who look beyond tabloid and 10 Downing Street propaganda, have had growing concerns that the chickens are coming home to roost and it would appear that is now happening. A new strain of COVID-19 has been identified and is now spreading rapidly in London and the South East. It does not appear to be deadlier than the original strain but the increased speed at which it spreads is the major concern. The National Health Service is very worried about reaching capacity of ICU beds.
The UK government’s handling of the COVID-19 pandemic has been shambolic to say the least. Today’s U-turn regarding restrictions over the Christmas period is yet another example of the Prime Minister’s personal failure to implement a coherent and credible policy that the public can get behind. At present he is being pilloried by people and institutions that don’t feel he is doing enough, as well as those who feel that he is acting in too much of an authoritarian fashion. He faces the ire of his own party over the damage being done to the UK economy and is in danger of losing the trust of his scientific advisers who are despairing of his noncommittal approach to making tough decisions. In fact the confusion that all speeches by Boris Johnson engender has become an internet meme and a standing joke nationally.
— MATT LUCAS (@RealMattLucas) May 10, 2020
The UK was slow to take up a national lockdown but when it finally did in late March, it had a clear message driving it. “Stay at home. Protect the NHS. Save lives”. The public understood the restrictions and what they could and could not do. There was a degree of financial assistance and although far from ideal, the situation meant that UK hospitals were not overwhelmed. It broadly worked, although a lack of PPE and testing meant that the death toll was far higher than it needed to be. But the public endured the restrictions on the understanding that the time gained would be put to good use. Sadly and utterly predictably, it wasn’t. Contracts for the manufacture of PPE, test and trace and other essential support services were given to companies with no prior experience. Many of which had direct links to the government and cabinet. The results were woefully inadequate.
Furthermore, since his election a year ago, the Prime Minister has centralised a lot of power at No: 10, away from the ministries. Experienced civil servants have been bypassed and important decisions have been driven by special advisors. Hence, when the first lockdown ended in July, the subsequent handling of the pandemic has been determined by those prioritising the economic consequences. As a result, the rules and overall message became more vague and subject to multiple interpretations. “Stay alert. Control the virus. Save lives”. Those that balked at the prior restrictions now had sufficient room to fudge things and do what they saw fit. It was this ambiguity, along with several high profile cases of ministers and government staff breaking their own rules, which finally put pay to any further effective strategy.
Therefore throughout late summer and autumn, the UK has existed in a curious state of “doing your own thing”. If you can work from home, afford to have groceries delivered, or access to parks or a garden, then the ongoing restrictions are manageable. If you work in a service industry, get paid weekly and simply cannot afford to stay at home then do your job and take your chances. The COVID-19 pandemic has clearly highlighted the social and economic divide in the UK and the fact that although we may all be in it together, some are more in it than others. And then there are those elements of society that just don’t like being told what they can and cannot do. Who view any inconvenience as an assault upon their personal liberties and who are utterly ill disposed toward considering the needs of others. Attitudes towards face masks is a microcosm of this.
There has always been a strong chance of a second wave of COVID-19, especially during the traditional winter flu season. Which is why the UK saw a tightening of rules throughout November. Hairdressers, pubs and restaurants had to close again to try and keep the R number down. Again the mantra became protect the NHS. The latest slogan being “Hands. Face. Space” to reinforce the need for hygiene, wearing a face mask and social distancing. Yet the notion of relaxing these rules to accommodate Christmas has always been ludicrous. It’s not as if the virus itself respects the holiday season. However, the government was hellbent on not “cancelling Christmas”, not only for the PR reasons but because it knew that a lot of the public were no longer onboard with the restrictions and were going to do whatever they saw fit. And so promises were made and even more tortuously complex rules issued.
Which brings me up to events of the past week. The discovery of a new strain of COVID-19 meant that the scientific advice changed and hence so did the restrictions. Rather than immediately come out and meet the problem head on, the government started publicly briefing against their own guidance for the Christmas period. Ministers appeared on national TV stating although we’ve said you can meet up with family over Christmas, it’s best if you don’t. This risible approach simply made a confusing situation even more so. However, today the scientific modelling has predicted such problems that the PM was compelled to reverse his earlier decision. In recent months, rather than have another national lockdown, comparable to that in March, there has been a series of localised ones in areas deemed to be hotspots. This is a tiered system, consisting of three levels. One being the lowest and three being the highest. London and parts of the South East of the UK have now been placed in a new fourth tier for the immediate future. The mixing of households is now prohibited. Christmas is now seriously curtailed.
Naturally, the pushback against this has been predictable. Travel restrictions due to commence at midnight, has led to a mass exodus of those who can afford it. Airports and stations around the UK have seen a major influx of travellers, seeking to get to their Christmas destinations early and “beat the ban”. For the bulk of the UK public, the festive season will now be a low key affair without any major family gatherings. Businesses are having to shut again due to the current regulations and many may not survive into the New Year. It’s also highly likely that the COVID-19 deniers will go about their lives and contribute to the winter surge in cases. Overall, a person’s socioeconomic status will determine how shit a Christmas they’ll have. As for the New Year, it’s not looking especially good. The rollout of the new vaccine will be overseen by a government that so far has not covered itself in glory. I suspect it will take a lot longer to achieve than promised. And then there’s the prospect of “no deal” Brexit and the woes that such a situation can bring. 2021 may well be worse than this year.
From a personal perspective, my household’s routine has become fixed since March this year. I only visit the local shops, pharmacy and Doctor’s Surgery. I am in a “support bubble” for my disabled Mother and Sister who live one road away. My caring commitments are shared with a care agency that still visits my Mum four times a day. They have been resolute in their commitment this year. Mrs P stays at home due to her health and is currently awaiting an appointment with her heart consultant. We are fortunate to be financially independent and able to maintain both households' needs. The restrictions have predominantly curtailed our social lives and limited our interactions with our grandchildren. But this is a legitimate price to pay, given the circumstances. The new strain of COVID-19 is concerning and we’ll be even more particular about following the rules. We intend to drop off presents for the grandchildren but will not enter their home. Our interactions with family and friends over the festive season will be confined to online, WhatsApp and phone.
This year has highlighted a lot of problems that have always been present in UK society. The country’s recent flirtation with Nationalism has left us with a poorly equipped government, bereft of the talent and leadership required in a national crisis. The notion of British Exceptionalism is still a major flaw in our national character. This combined with a lack of empathy and emotional literacy means that a large percentage of the UK population dislike being told “no”, having to consider others and having to follow rules. The ongoing culture war that is waged by politicians and the tabloid press means that reality is very much out of fashion and ignored. The UK also has yet to come to terms with its current position in the world or to find a new role. We remain a country riven by class distinction, a lack of social mobility and uneven distribution of wealth. None of which will be in any way addressed during the remainder of the current government’s term of office. COVID-19 was briefly thought to be a chance to reset society and right a lot of wrongs. Unfortunately the only thing that has become crystal clear is that the status quo will continue to remain.
Video Games: Just Another Leisure Industry
I was going to start this post with the phrase “there was a time” but then it struck me, that sounds like the opening gambit of a power ballad, so I decided against it. Instead let’s keep it simple. I’ve always played video games. But overtime my relationship with this activity evolved from just being an amusing diversion into a major hobby that I became enamoured with. Two factors contributed to this change in perspective. Moving from console to PC gaming in the late nineties and playing massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPG) circa 2008. By 2010 I was regularly writing about gaming, immersing myself in the culture and participating in the wider community. I naively thought for a while that video games were a unique and exceptional manifestation of pop culture, compared to music, film and literature. However, ten years later, although it is clear that video games can at times be true art just like those other mediums, they also suffer from all the endemic failings and iniquities that exist in the other leisure industries.
I was going to start this post with the phrase “there was a time” but then it struck me, that sounds like the opening gambit of a power ballad, so I decided against it. Instead let’s keep it simple. I’ve always played video games. But overtime my relationship with this activity evolved from just being an amusing diversion into a major hobby that I became enamoured with. Two factors contributed to this change in perspective. Moving from console to PC gaming in the late nineties and playing massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPG) circa 2008. By 2010 I was regularly writing about gaming, immersing myself in the culture and participating in the wider community. I naively thought for a while that video games were a unique and exceptional manifestation of pop culture, compared to music, film and literature. However, ten years later, although it is clear that video games can at times be true art just like those other mediums, they also suffer from all the endemic failings and iniquities that exist in the other leisure industries.
The production of mainstream, so called triple A video games is a textbook example of how contemporary capitalism works and a microcosm of all its shitty foibles. Game developer’s may well have artistic visions and creative aspirations. Those that bank roll them seldom have such lofty ideals. Video games are products to be monetised, sold and used as a means to continuously generate revenue. This business necessity is not something bolted onto a game once it’s completed. It is something that directly shapes their creation. Hence we’re sold a base game; a starter pack as it were. If you want the complete experience, then you pay more. And despite the massive development costs, these products are intended to be ephemeral. The moment the ROI drops they are abandoned and replaced with new products. Therefore the short attention span of customers leads to the brief life cycle of premium games and perpetuates the treadmill of continuous new product culture.
The buck apparently doesn’t stop with Yves Guillemot, CEO of Ubisoft
Sadly, the video games industry has sadly proven itself to be as predatory, exploitative and emotionally dysfunctional as music and cinema. Employment rights, working conditions and pay are poor. The industry’s management structure attracts the usual suspects with their borderline sociopathic traits. Bullies, racists, misogynists and those with a penchant for sexual assault act with impunity. Such individuals like to cultivate an image akin to rock stars, vicariously claiming to work in a hip, modern and creative line of work. But instead it’s just the same, seedy, entitled, spoilt middle-aged white men who seem to think the rules don’t apply to the. A malady that runs throughout modern life in western culture. Whenever such individuals are held to account and scrutinised, they quickly show themselves to be the modern equivalent of the wealthy mill owner from the 19th century. And in their misplaced vanity they always see themselves as the victims.
But there are other factors contributing to the negative state of the video games industry. The first is marketing, which like contemporary politics doesn’t wish to engage in any sort of discussion to justify itself. It merely wants unfettered access to multiple platforms and to be able to make statements unchallenged, irrespective of their veracity, integrity or legality. Hype culture, the wane of quality journalism along with a decline in critical thinking among consumers have contributed to the current hubristic stance adopted when promoting a new triple A game. And this insidious approach by sales and marketing enjoys a curious symbiotic relationship with that other Achilles heel of gaming, zealous fandom.
An all too common aspect of fandom these days
Fandom has become increasingly fundamentalist, binary and bellicose in recent years. It is tribal and at times devoid of reason. Criticism, commentary and analysis are rejected and any differing of opinion is seen as a personal attack. Fans continue to erroneously equate enjoying a product with having some sort of ownership of it. They’ll even pick a side and go to war over titles they haven’t even played yet. Such is the depth of emotional investment made. Furthermore, if a game falls short of expectations that gamers have created themselves, it is seen as an act of treason and a violation of one human rights. Again, you’ll find no difference between ardent video games fans and those of popular TV and cinematic franchises like Star Wars and Star Trek.
I used to enjoy my “love affair” with gaming. It was a new creative endeavour, that unlike pop music, TV and cinema had grown up over the course of my life. I was proud to be part of a writing and podcasting community that shared my affection. That community is still there and remains active but it has diminished. Many, like myself, have had their eyes opened to the unpleasant underbelly of the industry. An industry that does not reflect the diversity of its customers. An industry that is often immoral and unpleasant. An industry that refuses to take a stance against those fans that wish to usurp it and set its course. An industry that wants to have its cake and eat it. So ten years on, I still enjoy games. But I don’t have any illusions about their provenance. Many mainstream games are built upon the blood, sweat and tears of others. Just like cheap clothes made in developing countries. Or TV shows that purport to be about giving people a shot at fame but are really just the modern day equivalent of a Victorian freak show. The video games industry is exactly like all other industries and that is not in any way a compliment. Cognitive dissonance can only keep me tacitly supporting such things for so long. At some point they’ll be a parting of the ways.
COVID-19 Pandemic 2020 Part 6
When I last wrote about the COVID-19 Pandemic in May, the UK was just beginning to see an easing of lockdown restrictions. As a lot of people surmised, the government was trying to do too much, too soon and without the appropriate logistical support. Hence the last five months have been a litany of political disasters, all of which have contributed to the UK having the highest COVID-19 related deaths in all of Europe. Furthermore, the government's failure to provide PPE, make available a universally accessible testing service and implement an effective national tracing service, has highlighted their lack of talent and overall incompetence. Every week another “dead cat” is thrown on to the altar of politics in an attempt to divert the attention of 24 hour rolling news away from their utter ineptitude. Hence on top of the COVID-19 Pandemic, we’ve seen the spectre of both BREXIT and the “migrant crisis” re-emerge.
When I last wrote about the COVID-19 Pandemic in May, the UK was just beginning to see an easing of lockdown restrictions. As a lot of people surmised, the government was trying to do too much, too soon and without the appropriate logistical support. Hence the last five months have been a litany of political disasters, all of which have contributed to the UK having the highest COVID-19 related deaths in all of Europe. Furthermore, the government's failure to provide PPE, make available a universally accessible testing service and implement an effective national tracing service, has highlighted their lack of talent and overall incompetence. Every week another “dead cat” is thrown on to the altar of politics in an attempt to divert the attention of 24 hour rolling news away from their utter ineptitude. Hence on top of the COVID-19 Pandemic, we’ve seen the spectre of both BREXIT and the “migrant crisis” re-emerge.
There is a general malaise of confusion abroad in the UK at present, as local lockdowns and seven months of constantly changing messages have left people perplexed or indifferent to the latest rules. Several high profile transgressions of the lockdown by senior politicians and their special advisors has further contributed to the crumbling of public support. It has become clear that we are not all in this together. The poor have to return to work regardless of the risks and the rich want them to do so because they require access to the service industries that employ the poor. And then there are the COVID deniers and those who object to the minor inconveniences that arise from being considerate. Who would have thought that wearing a mask as you enter a shop, would be held up as an unconscionable violation of human rights? And by a demographic group that up until now, haven’t been especially concerned about such things. What times we live in.
For my family, life goes on in much the same way as it did in March. My Mother is disabled and housebound, having daily carer visits. Those who care for her still wear PPE and maintain scrupulous hand hygiene. Although my Sister is currently off sick, the government department for whom she works, is still mainly working from home. It is unlikely that staff of her garde will return to the Central London offices anytime soon. I visit their home daily at present although I am looking to reduce this schedule. I go shopping twice a week and visit the pharmacy and doctor’s surgery once a month. Beyond these journey’s I remain in my own home which is one road away. I have coped with the lockdown quite well and maintain a strong social presence online. However, Mrs P who in normal circumstances has a packed social schedule, has found the travel restrictions quite frustrating. But we try to work within the regulations to come up with viable ways to do some activities.
I fully expect the next three to four months to be bad both economically and with regard to COVID-19 deaths. I think we can finally dismiss all thoughts that the pandemic will be a touchstone for social change and a fair and equitable restructuring of the UK’s job market. The country is divided and volatile. Traditional politics has been subsumed by a culture war and it is playing out exactly as expected. Everyone is retreating into their respective “safe space” and battening down the hatches. It’s just a case that some people’s “safe spaces” are better than others. Oh and the panic buying is happening again. As soon as it was announced last week that the Prime Minister was to address the nation, the middle class started block booking all the supermarket delivery time slots and toilet paper once again began flying off the shelves. So I shall do my best to enjoy whatever curious Christmas 2020 has to offer. Because I suspect that it might be the calm before the storm. COVID-19 may well turn out to be an unwelcome New Year guest.
Shopping for Clothes
I am a 52 year old man, who has unofficially retired and therefore no longer has to commute, work in an office or interact with clients. I am also in a long term, stable relationship. I don’t have to worry about having to dress to impress, cutting a dash or maintaining a professional appearance. Nor do I put any particular stock in fashion. I view clothes as mainly functional, tempered with a degree of style. Comfort is by far the biggest deciding factor, along with durability. I don’t overly worry about my age, so I don't feel the need to dress especially “young”. My day to day clothes consist of t-shirts, jeans and trainers/sneakers. If it’s cold I put on a fleece. If I need to “look smart” I wear a shirt. If it’s jacket weather I wear a hooded top or something casual. Hence it will come as no surprise that my wardrobe is not at the cutting edge of fashion. However, I don’t look like a hobo either, to quote my granddaughters. It’s all a far cry from my parents' generation when clothes were far more formal and each age group seemed to have an unofficial uniform.
Hope they’re not Autons
I am a 52 year old man, who has unofficially retired and therefore no longer has to commute, work in an office or interact with clients. I am also in a long term, stable relationship. I don’t have to worry about having to dress to impress, cutting a dash or maintaining a professional appearance. Nor do I put any particular stock in fashion. I view clothes as mainly functional, tempered with a degree of style. Comfort is by far the biggest deciding factor, along with durability. I don’t overly worry about my age, so I don't feel the need to dress especially “young”. My day to day clothes consist of t-shirts, jeans and trainers/sneakers. If it’s cold I put on a fleece. If I need to “look smart” I wear a shirt. If it’s jacket weather I wear a hooded top or something casual. Hence it will come as no surprise that my wardrobe is not at the cutting edge of fashion. However, I don’t look like a hobo either, to quote my granddaughters. It’s all a far cry from my parents' generation when clothes were far more formal and each age group seemed to have an unofficial uniform.
I don’t buy clothes regularly, tending to buy in bulk every couple of years when things start wearing out. I was recently told by Mrs P that I need to “buy some new clothes” which was a subtle way of saying that some items of clothing were approaching the end of their lifespan and I was in danger of looking shabby. So the first step was to decide where to go. I’ve never liked clothes shopping. I despise the entire culture associated with it. I loathe going into poorly laid out shops where everything is organised by brand and not item, having to interact with indifferent sales staff, all while being subject to music and advertising via a PA system and TV screens. Hence I wanted a one stop solution and ended up going to Sainsbury’s at Crayford. It’s their biggest store in the UK and has an entire second floor dedicated to clothing and footwear. They also own their own clothing brand which is very reasonable both in quality and price. I am no longer a slave to brands (with a few exceptions).
Very stylish
I bought 4 pairs of jeans, some marvel themed socks, a plain t-shirt and a jumper. I spent £105. When I got home I then went online and ordered two further t-shirts. These were more expensive as they had puerile logos and graphic adorning them but they amused me and that is sufficient justification for their purchase. I shall probably buy a couple of “going out shirts” so I don’t disgrace Mrs P when we’re next at a function or restaurant. I also need a new winter jacket. I estimate that by the time I’ve bought all this, I’ll have spent about £300 or so. I bought some Sketcher’s footwear this summer and although comfortable, I don’t think they’re suitable for walking major distances. However I only recently replaced my Reebok Hi Top Trainers (one pair white, one pair balck), so I don’t need anything further in that department. I still have a decent cashmere coat and a couple of suits, along with some proper shoes left over from my “city days”. But I have no call to wear them except at weddings and funerals.
In some respects a fifty year old man’s wardrobe is a perfunctory affair. That’s not to say I am indifferent about my appearance. But as long as my hair is cut regularly, my beard is trimmed and my weight is managed, then I don’t worry too much about what I’m wearing. As I mentioned at the start of this post, comfort and convenience are now major factors that determine what I buy. In recent years the UK has started enjoying longer and warmer summers. So I now find that I wear shorts around the home a lot longer throughout the year. However, I have not made the mistake of buying larger sizes. That is a very slippery slope. If what I’ve bought today is a little snug, then that’s additional motivation to lose weight. Overall, if I had to summarise my personal sartorial elegance it would be casual, functional and neat. If I feel the need to add some additional distinction and character I suppose I could always wear a cravat and sport a monocle.
Libraries
If you wanted to find me on a Saturday afternoon during the late seventies and early eighties, then the local library was a safe bet. At one point I belonged to three including one in a neighbouring borough but Blackfen Library was my favourite. It was the nearest to our home and I was fond of the oddly austere building. Both of my parents have always been prodigious readers so going to the library quickly became a regular part of my youth. Initially, I was content to confine myself to the children’s section reading Hergé's Adventures of Tintin and the escapades of Asterix the Gaul. However, I was never really content with fiction aimed at children and especially stories about children. Hence as I grew older I expanded my horizons and strayed into the adult section. My parents didn’t interfere in my choice of books and took the attitude that if I were reading, then I wasn’t getting into trouble. My Dad would make the occasional recommendation. Usually classic science fiction by authors such as Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke.
Blackfen Library prior to it’s relocation in 2004
If you wanted to find me on a Saturday afternoon during the late seventies and early eighties, then the local library was a safe bet. At one point I belonged to three including one in a neighbouring borough but Blackfen Library was my favourite. It was the nearest to our home and I was fond of the oddly austere building. Both of my parents have always been prodigious readers so going to the library quickly became a regular part of my youth. Initially, I was content to confine myself to the children’s section reading Hergé's Adventures of Tintin and the escapades of Asterix the Gaul. However, I was never really content with fiction aimed at children and especially stories about children. Hence as I grew older I expanded my horizons and strayed into the adult section. My parents didn’t interfere in my choice of books and took the attitude that if I were reading, then I wasn’t getting into trouble. My Dad would make the occasional recommendation. Usually classic science fiction by authors such as Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke.
Despite it’s somewhat foreboding appearance, Blackfen Library was always warm and tranquil inside. The library ticket system was uncomplicated. Your ticket was a small cardboard pocket. Each book had a physical ticket associated with it which was filed along with your ticket when you borrowed it. Inside the cover of each book was a “date due” sheet which was stamped by the librarian with the return date. I believe you could keep your books for up to three weeks and borrow a maximum of six. As this was the seventies, the books were filed and organized using the Dewey Decimal System. I quickly learned to use this so I didn’t have to rely on the librarians to assist me. Choosing my books was always an exciting process. Sometimes I’d know in advance what I wanted and I’d race in between the heavy wooden bookshelves to the required section to see if my prize awaited. Other times I’d peruse the shelves in a leisurely fashion, reading the plot synopsis on the dust covers. They say not to judge a book by its cover but when you’re 10 years old, a glossy illustration by Chris Foss or Frank Frazetta was a major selling point.
Classic science fiction with Chris Foss artwork
Due to my parents and my local library, I still have a deep and abiding love for books and reading. One of my favourite excursions (pre-lockdown) is to travel to Rochester in Kent and lose myself in Baggins Book Bazaar, the biggest second hand bookshop in the UK. It has many similarities with a library and is a haven of tranquility in an otherwise noisy and frenetic world. Sadly, the original Blackfen Library in Cedar Avenue has now closed and the building was demolished and the land sold to a property development company in 2004. There’s a block of flats on the site now. The library has relocated to new premises in Blackfen Road. It has diversified and modernised in an attempt to stay relevant. It now has internet access and PCs that you can use. The premises also offer several meeting rooms and run numerous clubs and activities. It’s now a bustling and dynamic place. It’s all a far cry from the black and white tiled floors and quiet atmosphere of the former site.
As you may discern, I believe passionately in libraries and making books, knowledge and learning accessible to all. The ability to read is not only a great leisure activity and escape from the rigours of life but it’s also an opportunity for self improvement and to expand one's horizons. Which is why I greatly resent and deplore the closure of over 800 public libraries that have happened since 2010 in the UK. A recent survey from the Chartered Institute of Public Finance and Accountancy (Cipfa) has found that there are 3,583 public libraries open at present. 35 fewer than last year and 773 fewer than in 2010. The closure of nearly a fifth of the UK’s libraries is a result of a decline in spending by 29.6% over the past decade. The reduced funding is due to the UK government cutting spending on all public services after the banking crash of 2008. The debate continues as to whether this was necessary or driven by political ideology. I believe author and comedian Alexei Syale may have some insight when he said “austerity is the idea that the 2008 financial crash was caused by Wolverhampton having too many libraries”.
Blackfen Library as of 2020
I am a child of the seventies and although I won’t universally extol the merits of that decade, it did have some good points from a child’s perspective. Blackfen Library introduced me to the joys of H. G. Wells, Arthur Conan Doyle, Agatha Christie, J. R. R. Tolkien and many other classic authors. It also taught me that silence is not to be feared but something to be savoured when appropriate. Like most adults, as I’ve got older I find that I don’t read as much as I used to, although I still manage a book each month or so. Reading for me now centres on blogs and other online news outlets. But I still enjoy finding a quiet corner and losing myself in a good book. And I still visit my local library (which have now reopened) although now it tends to be more when they hold events. But it is important that we as a society fight any further closures and continue to foster in our children the importance and pleasure of reading. Although I suspect this will be more of an uphill struggle in the current political climate.
Living With Chronic Pain
To begin with, I am not claiming to be living with “chronic” pain in this blog post. I am fully aware of the definition of the term and am fortunate that my current injury does not force me to endure such levels of discomfort. However, my recent experience has provided me with a new insight into something that most of us only notionally know about and have little or no true understanding. I believe I appreciate my Mother’s daily circumstances a lot better now (as well as several friends and colleagues who also live with chronic pain) and finally understand how debilitating both physically and mentally living in constant and acute pain can be. Hence I decided to write this piece. To share my experience with an injury that continuously hurts and to help inform others about the realities of living with chronic pain. Sometimes you need to experience something first hand to fully get the measure of it.
To begin with, I am not claiming to be living with “chronic” pain in this blog post. I am fully aware of the definition of the term and am fortunate that my current injury does not force me to endure such levels of discomfort. However, my recent experience has provided me with a new insight into something that most of us only notionally know about and have little or no true understanding. I believe I appreciate my Mother’s daily circumstances a lot better now (as well as several friends and colleagues who also live with chronic pain) and finally understand how debilitating both physically and mentally living in constant and acute pain can be. Hence I decided to write this piece. To share my experience with an injury that continuously hurts and to help inform others about the realities of living with chronic pain. Sometimes you need to experience something first hand to fully get the measure of it.
Approximately 8 weeks ago, I was vacuuming my Mother’s bedroom. I needed to move the bed to reach underneath it, so without thinking I grabbed the frame and lifted one end. This is the sort of thing you usually do without thinking because normally, a bed isn’t necessarily that heavy. However, on this occasion I forgot that this is a hospital bed which weighs over 170 lbs (77 kg). To cut a long story short I damaged my radial collateral ligament (RCL) in my left elbow. It hurts when I extend my arm or rotate my wrist. The pain is considerable and continuous. The only practical way to minimise this is to strap the joint tightly with a bandage or sports support and then use a sling with the left arm raised as high as possible. The doctor has recommended resting the limb for the immediate future. As a carer of two disabled parents that is not a viable possibility.
Being in constant pain to the degree that I currently experience is unpleasant and frustrating. The pain is sufficient to be ever present regardless of what activity you’re doing. The most innocuous action can sharply remind you of your injury, making the most mundane, everyday tasks problematic and irritating. Using cutlery is difficult at present. Trying to find a comfortable position to sleep is challenging. Washing and getting dressed takes twice as long as normal due to a new degree of self imposed caution. The net result of these factors is a change in mood and demeanour. It is difficult to be positive and upbeat when you are in pain. You also become aware that because of your mood it may be best to avoid other people. Now all of the above has been sufficient for me to stop and think. Imagine what day to day life is like for those who are experiencing a more intense and continuous level of pain?
My Mother will be 90 years old in October. She has ongoing Rheumatoid arthritis; an affliction that has plagued her since her late sixties. Her ankles, knees and hands are the most affected part of her body, although her shoulders and hips are getting progressively worse. To tackle the levels of pain that she faces each day she is currently prescribed transdermal patches containing 20 micrograms of Buprenorphine, that are changed weekly. These are supplemented with paracetamol. Both drugs combined simply diminish the pain and do not eliminate it. Due to her continual discomfort, lack of mobility and declining faculties, she is often morose and taciturn with a penchant for lachrymosity. It is only in recent weeks that I’ve come remotely close to fully understanding what she endures daily. So if you know anyone with a chronic and painful medical condition, who at times is a little cantankerous and curmudgeonly, think twice before judging them too harshly. Living with pain is a terrible burden from which there is often no respite. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemies.
Community and Friendship
I joined Twitter back in 2010. Perhaps the most surprising thing I quickly discovered about the platform is the immediacy of communication that it offers. You can follow someone, reply to something they say or initiate a conversation with them in real time. Hence interacting with those who share a common interest becomes very accessible and enjoyable. It’s a far cry from going to a convention, wandering around and then plucking up the courage to speak to someone or join in a conversation that others are having. Social media removes those awkward “ice breaking” moments. Of course not every Twitter exchange is a pleasant experience but overall I’ve not encountered many problems using social media over the past decade. Twitter has broadly been a positive experience and introduced me to a wider community. It has provided me with an opportunity to meet new people and become part of something that is both social and positive.
I joined Twitter back in 2010. Perhaps the most surprising thing I quickly discovered about the platform is the immediacy of communication that it offers. You can follow someone, reply to something they say or initiate a conversation with them in real time. Hence interacting with those who share a common interest becomes very accessible and enjoyable. It’s a far cry from going to a convention, wandering around and then plucking up the courage to speak to someone or join in a conversation that others are having. Social media removes those awkward “ice breaking” moments. Of course not every Twitter exchange is a pleasant experience but overall I’ve not encountered many problems using social media over the past decade. Twitter has broadly been a positive experience and introduced me to a wider community. It has provided me with an opportunity to meet new people and become part of something that is both social and positive.
Although I have always written throughout my life, it was my introduction to MMOs that really galvanised my endeavours. When I enjoy something I often feel compelled to write about my experiences and share them with others. So I initially blogged about The Lord of the Rings Online and later expanded my writing to encompass other games. Twitter proved to be a good medium to promote my material and I quickly found others who shared similar interests and wrote their own blogs or produced their own podcast. In an act of hubris I actually emailed one such podcaster and “suggested” he have a “european correspondent”. The next thing I knew I was talking to the two existing hosts of that show on Skype and subsequently found myself part of the team. This act of kindness and good faith was quite remarkable when you think about it. Here were two people who were doing a podcast by the “seat of their pants”, that were prepared to take a risk on some over enthusiastic British guy who basically tried to gate crash their project. But they took a gamble and it worked out well.
This was one of many acts of kindness that I’ve encountered over the years. The podcasting and blogging helped me find a very industrious and friendly fan community. Many of which were already established and had an online presence. Yet all were happy to promote new blogs and podcasts, leave positive feedback and generally be supportive. But it seems to be a recurring theme. So many of the content creators I’ve met over the years seem disposed towards helping others by default. And outside of our immediate shared fandom, it’s nice to get to know folk from all over the world. Because you do get to know people over time. Many of us are careful about what we share on social media or write about in our blog posts. Privacy is ever evolving and can be abused, so it is logical that people don’t fully “pull back the curtain” on their lives. Yet often a writer’s personality will bleed through into their work. They’ll occasionally throw in an anecdote about their life, be it a remark about their work, partner or family. It is these personal touches that build a sense of rapport.
There was a boom time for gaming blogs and it has now passed. Many of those who were active within the community have moved on or significantly reduced their output of content. And then there are those who just keep going because it’s “what they do”. Yet the blogging diaspora still endures and many of the people I met a decade ago are still about on social media. It’s always pleasant when someone you haven’t heard from for a while turns up in your timeline. It’s very much like bumping into an old friend as you come back from grocery shopping. And yes I am happy to use the word friend. I think the somewhat dismissive view that online friendships are not the same as those with people you physically meet, is archaic and simply incorrect.
I hold my online friends and peers in very high regard. I respect their opinions and am very grateful for the support they’ve shown me over the years and the way they’ve encouraged my content creation. I also find the different perspectives that they often provide invaluable in helping me to understand the modern world and learn about life. I like to hear about their families, their pets and the shenanigans that go on at their work. It proves that people have far more in common than differences. I am also saddened by the trials and tribulations that some face and hope I can be supportive when they need it. Even if all I can do is to raise a wry smile. And yes, if possible, I’d love to meet up with all of them. I think it would be a most enjoyable experience to finally put faces to virtual names.
The world is a complicated and difficult place at times. There certainly seems to be a palpable sense of gloom spreading at the moment and we’re all too often encouraged to get angry with each other. Yet I take immense comfort and hope from the community that I am part of and the people I am proud to call my friends. The mutual respect, support and kindness, along with the capacity to keep a sense of humour is in many ways an antidote to all the negativity that abounds. While writing this post I toyed with the idea of referencing a few of my Twitter buddies and what I enjoy about their virtual company. However, I quickly realised that it was impossible to do so as I didn’t want to leave anyone out and I am fortunate to know so many good people. So I’ll simply finish with a classic quote from Bilbo Baggins. “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve”. Thanks for being you, so to speak.
Why Are So Many Gamers Assholes?
First off before we begin, I am not going to apologise for using the term “asshole”. Yes I could use more eloquent language but finding a non profane definition is complicated and potentially difficult to agree upon. Are we talking about antisocial gamers, the deliberately obtuse or those with specific prejudices and axes to grind? Is this all about tribalism, real world political affiliations or the whims and caprices of professional malcontents? Perhaps all these examples are correct and just different facets of the same problem? See, it’s easy to get bogged down just with the terminology. But most people know what is meant by the phrase “asshole”. Within the confines of gaming culture, we know exactly who and what they are. We also know where to find them and sadly they are not an endangered species.
A representation of an “asshole”
First off before we begin, I am not going to apologise for using the term “asshole”. Yes I could use more eloquent language but finding a non profane definition is complicated and potentially difficult to agree upon. Are we talking about antisocial gamers, the deliberately obtuse or those with specific prejudices and axes to grind? Is this all about tribalism, real world political affiliations or the whims and caprices of professional malcontents? Perhaps all these examples are correct and just different facets of the same problem? See, it’s easy to get bogged down just with the terminology. But most people know what is meant by the phrase “asshole”. Within the confines of gaming culture, we know exactly who and what they are. We also know where to find them and sadly they are not an endangered species.
Moving on to the main question, “why are so many gamers assholes”, there are numerous explanations to consider. Perhaps the all time classic answer is the old “anonymity of the internet” theory. The idea that because someone can hide their identity and thus avoid any repercussions, they will by default indulge in abhorrent behaviour. But this explanation is not as comprehensive as it first appears. I often have opportunities to indulge in consequence free behaviour, yet refrain from doing so. If none of us did then there wouldn’t be a gaming community per se, as it would just be a constant battleground. So like all social issues, the reality is more complicated and nuanced when scrutinised properly. Yes, the freedom that the internet affords is certainly a factor in the problem but not the defining one. So what are the other possible explanations?
Although gaming and sports are not identical in nature, there is certainly a lot of crossover in their social attributes. Both have a culture of fandom that is often based upon tribalism and competitiveness. The former is not something that can be reasoned with, leaning more towards blind loyalty. The latter can at times lapse into a “winning at any cost” mindset, which is hardly conducive for equitable community relationships. Stepping away from sport, public discourse in politics and the news agenda has become more partisan and bellicose in recent years. Traditional notions of data driven debate and facts underpinning an argument has given way to slogan driven rhetoric, gaslighting and appealing to “feelings”. All of which are incredibly flexible for those who don’t want to be restrained by reason or logic.
A bona fide “asshole”
Other factors to consider are levels of emotional and social literacy. There is data to suggest that certain quarters of society are not learning the social skills needed to navigate life. Then there has been decades of reinforcement of the old trope of resolving conflict through violence via TV, cinema, music and literature. But perhaps the biggest factor is one that has blighted not just leisure activities but most social communities. Gaming has for years been perceived, defined and marketed as a white male “space” and it is only in recent years there has been any attempt to challenge and change that. It should be noted that such efforts have always seen a reciprocal amount of pushback from those who see it as “their preserve”. As gaming has become more culturally “acceptable” and hence more commercially viable, it has reached wider audiences and demographics. Yet the industry has been slow to embrace representation as many of those who effectively run it are not cut from the cloth of inclusivity.
And at a grass roots level, a great deal of “assholery” goes unchallenged and unchecked due to there being little effective community based moderation or policing. Censorship and free speech are often invoked as a bogus defense but usually it just comes down to cost. The most effective moderation is done by experienced people and employing them comes with a cost. Plus imposing sanctions on “assholes” hits the bottom line, irrespective of their character traits. “Assholes” are paying customers. Sometimes they are whales. Hence we all too often see the pretense of caring and a lot of hollow press releases and mission statements that promise much but deliver little. Environments such as these, along with the wider social factors discussed are ideal for “assholes” and allow them to thrive.
Now there are some who think that the entire toxic gamer trope is blown out of all proportion and that the reality is different to the perception. Arguments often centre on “assholes” being just a disproportionately vocal minority and it all being a case of visibility bias. Then there are sound arguments to be had about nonverbal cues and how social media often masks intent etc. Are all of those who trot out inflammatory epithets really advocating them and the philosophy behind them or simply repeating something they’ve read in an attempt to get a rise? Is there genuine malice behind all incidents? I have also discussed with others whether the brevity and lack of nuance that is inherent in all text based chat systems makes it difficult for anyone not to appear as an “asshole” at some point. However, where I think many cases do fall into these categories, it doesn’t excuse or explain those gamers who exist in a perpetual state of malcontentment. You’ll find examples of these people on every game related forum and subreddit. They seem obligatory, like a copy of Queen’s Greatest Hits in your music collection.
A man who sang about “assholes”
Finally, I would like to add another reason to explain the abundance of “assholes” in the gaming community. A somewhat depressing one that some folk may reject due to its implications. Maybe people collectively just aren’t as nice as we like to think. It has always been purported within western society that there are more good guys than bad. We tell our children to study and then work hard, play by the rules and that society and the establishment will treat you well. The myth that there is a sort of cultural social contract and quid pro quo. I suspect that the last decade may have proven that this is patently not true. Social conventions and lack of access to communication platforms masked this in the past but now the reality is clearer to see. A lot of people have a beef with life be it legitimate or imagined. Plus being nice takes effort. Being an “asshole” does not.
Yes there are good people who do the right thing, that believe in fairness, equality and treating people as they like to be treated themselves. There always will be. But then there’s an opposite constituent that is self centred and mortally afraid of difference. Anything perceived to threaten the status quo that enshines their world view and socioeconomic advantage is resisted. I think the big revelation of recent years is that the former group is not the majority as previously thought or claimed. In fact the split between the two is probably a lot more even. Hence there are more “assholes” than previously thought. As for the question of whether we can beat or contain the tide of “assholery”, the answer is the same as it always has been. You call out offenders, challenge the ideologies that drive them and lead by example. But it takes an unified effort from all and ultimately, you cannot elect to just sit it out. We tend to get the standard of communities that we allow, rather the ones we notionally aspire to. And that is why so many gamers are “assholes”. We let them.
The Insincerity of Corporate Platitudes
For decades myself and others around the world have watched aghast at the state of race relations in the US. For a nation that exalts democracy, freedom and equality it seems to continuously fail to live up to such principles. In the last 4 years things have gotten demonstrably worse for obvious reasons and the outrages and injustices against the BAME community have increased further. The killing of George Floyd was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back and so for the last week the US has burned, figuratively and literally, in the fires of righteous indignation. A national wound has been laid bare and once again an opportunity presents itself to either address the matter and treat it, or to simply bandage it and ignore it. The major difference on this occasion is the presence of social media which for good or ill provides a platform to share information and express views as events unfold.
Activision Blizzard
For decades myself and others around the world have watched aghast at the state of race relations in the US. For a nation that exalts democracy, freedom and equality it seems to continuously fail to live up to such principles. In the last 4 years things have gotten demonstrably worse for obvious reasons and the outrages and injustices against the BAME community have increased further. The killing of George Floyd was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back and so for the last week the US has burned, figuratively and literally, in the fires of righteous indignation. A national wound has been laid bare and once again an opportunity presents itself to either address the matter and treat it, or to simply bandage it and ignore it. The major difference on this occasion is the presence of social media which for good or ill provides a platform to share information and express views as events unfold.
The magnitude of what is currently happening and how it is being handled means that this story has penetrated most social groups and like it or not, this subject is now on pretty much on everyone’s radar. Thus many feel the need to make some sort of statement on the matter and show support for the African American community. The majority have done this for genuine reasons such as empathy and a sense of humanity. Others are driven more by a sense of obligation or a pragmatic concern not to be on the “wrong side of history”. And as well as individual citizens, social institutions, religious bodies and even businesses have spoken out lending their voice to ongoing condemnation and cries for justice. But “business” is a broad church. Covering a spectrum that begins with the startup run by one person from home, to billion dollar global corporations. And therein lies the rub.
Daybreak Games
When relatively small video game developers make statements pertaining to recent events, showing solidarity and support, I’m inclined to take them at face value. Such studios are populated by a lot of everyday people, working for a pay cheque that isn’t as much as you’d think, who are just trying to get by. Ultimately, I see real people. However, what I find particularly unpalatable are similar statements from the likes of Activision Blizzard, Playstation and Daybreak Games. These generic press releases from global companies reek of insincerity and are the worst kind of bandwagon jumping. Big business is hardly a paragon of virtue. They tend to favour the status quo and governments that look after their interests over others. They often have a shocking track record regarding employee rights and are havens for the worst aspects of corporate culture. Capitalism offers nothing other than the bare minimum to the poor and marginalised, seeing them as a disposable resource rather than people.Yet it suits them for the present to be perceived as an ally and friend.
So please don’t insult our intelligence, Activision Blizzard, Playstation and Daybreak Games with your mealy-mouthed “I’m on your side” calumnies. You are not part of the growing voice legitimate dissent but are just another part of the ongoing problem. You are not expressing any genuine concern but are merely trying to buy “good will” and capitalise on something you see as a business opportunity. How you have the gall to feign integrity when your actions in recent years scream the opposite, simply beggars belief. Go back to counting your money and keep your bogus corporate platitudes to yourself, because they are insulting.Your utterances profane the dignity of the situation. When we want the opinion of mendacious parasites, we’ll ask for them. Until then hold your tongue.
Time For a New Project (Again)
I am currently in a quandary with regard to my creative output. There’s a good chance that the lockdown has contributed to this state of mind and perhaps even the recent Blapril blogging event is partly to blame. I feel the need to do something at the moment but have no specific idea as to what it should be. I want to write but can’t think of anything at present that enthuses me sufficiently. I also want to return to podcasting, which is something I’ve always enjoyed. But I don’t especially relish producing a one man show. I’ve tried live streaming but don’t really think the medium plays to my strengths. Plus, I’m a little burnt out with gaming per se at present. Perhaps the answer lies in trying my hand at something completely new? This could potentially kill two birds with one stone as documenting the resulting learning curve could be a good source of blog posts. However, the first hurdle is deciding what my next project should be?
I am currently in a quandary with regard to my creative output. There’s a good chance that the lockdown has contributed to this state of mind and perhaps even the recent Blapril blogging event is partly to blame. I feel the need to do something at the moment but have no specific idea as to what it should be. I want to write but can’t think of anything at present that enthuses me sufficiently. I also want to return to podcasting, which is something I’ve always enjoyed. But I don’t especially relish producing a one man show. I’ve tried live streaming but don’t really think the medium plays to my strengths. Plus, I’m a little burnt out with gaming per se at present. Perhaps the answer lies in trying my hand at something completely new? This could potentially kill two birds with one stone as documenting the resulting learning curve could be a good source of blog posts. However, the first hurdle is deciding what my next project should be?
New projects can be fun and a great way to renew your sense of motivation and enthusiasm. However, they don’t always work out as expected. One of the most common pitfalls I find with any new project (and I know I’m not alone in this) is that the planning stage becomes the focus and the main source of enjoyment. I like plans. They’re an opportunity to buy new stationary or download new software, to stick post-it notes on your monitor and write numerous to-do lists. I always get a real kick out of all this planning and activity. However, once a coherent and finely tuned strategy has been drafted to tackle the new project, I find that I’ve somewhat lost interest in it. The planning was far more enjoyable and engaging. Hence my ambitions to produce YouTube videos, build a Box Girder Bridge and play the Sousaphone have never come to fruition. My potentially award winning musical based upon The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, also remains unwritten.
Upon mature reflection and sober consideration, there seems to be a simple problem at the heart of this dilemma (or minor “first world” problem). Rather than just undertaking activities that simply fill my time, I am very much focused upon activities that yield a result, achievements or produce something tangible at the end. Obviously the former is a lot easier to do than the latter and I am happy to do as such to a degree. However, I don’t just want to continuously passively consume and would consider it a personal failing if I stopped doing any kind of creative pastime. Which neatly brings this somewhat circular post back to its initial premise (like a word based Möbius Loop) that I need a new project. Perhaps a suitable idea will present itself within the next week or so. If not you can look forward to a series of blog posts called “The Beginners Guide to Playing the Sousaphone”.
Electric Shavers
I have always found shaving a nuisance and a chore. There was a period in my working life where being suited, booted and clean shaven was part of the gig. So every morning began with a battle with the stubble. I won’t waste your precious time recounting all the various brands of razors I tried. Let it suffice to say that there’s a huge amount of bullshit peddled by the male grooming products industry (yes, I’m looking at you, so-called King of Shaves, you self aggrandising corporate gits). Perhaps the biggest one is that there’s an optimum way to shave. This is an utter falsehood. The way your facial hair grows is as unique as that on your head. So it may well suit Jugdish to shave “against the grain” and for Sidney to do the opposite, while Clayton uses his razor freestyle. There is no “one approach suits all”. However, shaving with a safety razor is a separate post altogether. It is because of them and due to my inherent apathy towards shaving per se, that I’ve recently tried using an electric shaver again.
I have always found shaving a nuisance and a chore. There was a period in my working life where being suited, booted and clean shaven was part of the gig. So every morning began with a battle with the stubble. I won’t waste your precious time recounting all the various brands of razors I tried. Let it suffice to say that there’s a huge amount of bullshit peddled by the male grooming products industry (yes, I’m looking at you, so-called King of Shaves, you self aggrandising corporate gits). Perhaps the biggest one is that there’s an optimum way to shave. This is an utter falsehood. The way your facial hair grows is as unique as that on your head. So it may well suit Jugdish to shave “against the grain” and for Sidney to do the opposite, while Clayton uses his razor freestyle. There is no “one approach suits all”. However, shaving with a safety razor is a separate post altogether. It is because of them and due to my inherent apathy towards shaving per se, that I’ve recently tried using an electric shaver again.
I bought my Dad a Panasonic ES-SL41 Blue Wet and Dry Electric 3-Blade Shaver a few years ago. Due to his declining health and use of blood thinners, it was dangerous for him to use a safety razor. Sadly, he couldn’t manage to shave himself even with this device so he kindly gave it back to me. I shave once a week and grow a goattee beard mainly out of indolence. However, I even find that a chore so I decided to try the electric shaver that’s been sitting in a cupboard for the last year. For reference, the last electric shaver I used was when I was 18. I am now 52. Well the great thing about this Panasonic model is that it’s light, holds a charge long enough for a lengthy shave, is ergonomically shaped both for hand and face and is very easy to maintain. Being able to use it both wet and dry is a major advantage. However, those facts notwithstanding, it only manages to shave about a third of my facial hair in a satisfactory fashion.
“Bullshit, Mr Kiam Man”
I do not doubt that a manufacturer such as Panasonic spends a lot of time and money on research and development. I suspect when they designed this and any other model of electric shaver, they considered the wide variety of face shapes and different ways that facial hair grows. They obviously test extensively. Yet despite all this, I cannot get a decent shave from this specific shaver. It seems to work well around my cheekbones where there is little skin and bone immediately beneath the surface, allowing you to get some purchase. But it struggles with my cheeks and jawline and has zero effect on my throat. It doesn’t matter what direction I shave in (although I get the best results making circular movements), or whether I shave wet or dry. Therefore, either I have a head similar to the Elephant Man or there is simply a percentage of men whose facial structure is suboptimal for the successful use of these devices.
Upon reflection I think the latter or these two theories is the correct conclusion. I think due to the sheer number of different face shapes, it is impossible to design a shaver that is 100% effective for all users. Naturally, that is not something that a company that is in the electric shaver business is going to admit to. I would be very interested to see some data on this subject and find out how many men successfully use an electric shaver and how many men just endure them and suffer and indifferent shave as a result. I have found so far that I can get a slightly better shave with the electric shaver if I take my time and concentrate on specific areas and then finish off with a safety razor. However, that totally defeats the purpose of the exercise, which is to get a decent shave as quickly and as easily as possible. So for the meantime it’s back to a Gillette Sensor Excel for me. Damn you Raheem Sterling (or whoever is the face of Gillette in your neck of the woods). As for electric shavers, maybe I’ll try them again in another 30 years.
COVID-19 Pandemic 2020 Part 5
The UK Government’s honeymoon period with regard to the COVID-19 pandemic is well and truly over. Irrespective of one’s political outlook, it is sensible and dare I say it, reassuring to want to get behind the Prime Minister and his cabinet in their attempts to tackle this dreadful situation. Some may have thought it would be the making of the man and way to bridge the political divisions caused by Brexit. But that was six weeks ago and such optimism has conspicuously withered on the vine. Many of the promises made and have proven empty and a decade of politically motivated austerity has left many key public services struggling. The government was under prepared, lacking in talent and driven by the same hubris inherent in all their political decisions. Namely that notions of British exceptionalism would somehow see us through. They haven’t. Despite the recently recovered Prime Minister (who caught COVID-19 due to not following his own instructions) standing at a podium on 27th April and claiming some sort of success, the reality is the complete opposite.
The UK Government’s honeymoon period with regard to the COVID-19 pandemic is well and truly over. Irrespective of one’s political outlook, it is sensible and dare I say it, reassuring to want to get behind the Prime Minister and his cabinet in their attempts to tackle this dreadful situation. Some may have thought it would be the making of the man and way to bridge the political divisions caused by Brexit. But that was six weeks ago and such optimism has conspicuously withered on the vine. Many of the promises made and have proven empty and a decade of politically motivated austerity has left many key public services struggling. The government was under prepared, lacking in talent and driven by the same hubris inherent in all their political decisions. Namely that notions of British exceptionalism would somehow see us through. They haven’t. Despite the recently recovered Prime Minister (who caught COVID-19 due to not following his own instructions) standing at a podium on 27th April and claiming some sort of success, the reality is the complete opposite.
The UK’s death toll currently stands at over 30,000. Key workers still do not have sufficient PPE. The economy is heading for a major recession and as a result of a lack of progress in the EU negotiations, a “No Deal Brexit”. Furthermore, the UK working population is reluctant to return to work if it means putting themselves in harms way. There is a growing lobby by big business for the lockdown to be eased and due to the lack of clarity in the message so far, there’s a risk of some people doing “their own thing”, resulting in a second peak. If the “furiously hard of thinking” only put themselves at risk, I’d be happy to let them do so but they don’t. They’re a threat to all those trying to their best and follow the rules. So overall, it’s back to business as usual with politics returning to its current default state. Namely a tribal driven culture war, based upon ill conceived slogans, driven by the lowest common denominator and those who make their money through everyone else’s hard work.
Having caught COVID-19 it does grant you a degree of insight. I was very fortunate and endured only a mild case, although I still have a persistent cough and am monitoring the situation. There’s a chance I may have sustained permanent lung damage. But as far as I'm concerned, irrespective of whatever loosening of the rules are mooted, I shall continue to stay at home, minimise my journeys out and contact with others. But many others are not in such a fortunate position as I. I have many self employed friends who need to return to work and start paying their bills. These are not irresponsible people, just merely caught between a rock and a hard place. I fully expect there to be trouble in the months ahead but I also expect the government to try and more than likely succeed in spinning their way out of it all. The tabloid press have returned to their default setting and are back to towing the establishment line, while the centre left broadsheets have gone back to making every issue a bipartisan bunfight.
Despite the pandemic clearly highlighting the massive inequalities in our society, I am not optimistic that there will be a new social contract between the electorate and the government, similar to that which emerged after World War II. Those who benefit from the existing status quo have no desire or intention of seeing any change. If anything, I suspect we may well see an exacerbation of the current divide between the haves and have nots. The government has undertaken an unprecedented amount of public spending, especially when you consider the ideological perspective of the Conservative Party. The need to address this debt may well prove ideal political capital to see a return to austerity or drive through yet more privatisation of public services. One of the few good things that could come from the COVID-19 pandemic is the opportunity for the UK to finally come to terms with the reality of modern geopolitics and find a new role that isn’t defined by our perceptions of the past. However, judging by the current state of politics, that is highly unlikely to happen.
"Middle-aged"
I read a comment on a news website recently in which the author claimed to be “middle-aged”. They were 67 years old. This highlighted something I have considered for a long time; that this term is one of the most elastic and wilfully misused in the English language. And it may come as a surprise to you but this really bugs me. Because one’s age shouldn’t be a matter of anything other than numerical accuracy. However, it would appear that I’m swimming against the tide on this issue and perhaps many others. For many people, most forms of self scrutiny are refracted through the prism of their feelings and cultural assumptions. Hence what they think, see and feel about themselves is often quite different to objective reality. Your age falls into this category. And then there is the cultural bias towards youth which runs through every aspect of society. All things considered, it’s hardly surprising that people are going to stretch the term “middle-aged”.
Perfect teeth and an absence of haemorrhoids are one of many reasons why stock photos are bullshit
I read a comment on a news website recently in which the author claimed to be “middle-aged”. They were 67 years old. This highlighted something I have considered for a long time; that this term is one of the most elastic and wilfully misused in the English language. And it may come as a surprise to you but this really bugs me. Because one’s age shouldn’t be a matter of anything other than numerical accuracy. However, it would appear that I’m swimming against the tide on this issue and perhaps many others. For many people, most forms of self scrutiny are refracted through the prism of their feelings and cultural assumptions. Hence what they think, see and feel about themselves is often quite different to objective reality. Your age falls into this category. And then there is the cultural bias towards youth which runs through every aspect of society. All things considered, it’s hardly surprising that people are going to stretch the term “middle-aged”.
According to The Office for National Statistics, UK life expectancy for men is 79.2 years and 82.9 years for women. If we consider from 20 years onwards to be the start of a person’s adult life and 80 to be the average age of death, then the middle of this period is between 40 and 60 years. That seems to be a fair assessment to me and a logical way of determining a definition of “middle-aged”. As we are dealing with averages, there is naturally scope for the numbers to change nominally if you apply this school of thought to yourself or your family. I am currently 52 years old, so I am by this criteria clearly “middle-aged”. Furthermore, I have many of the characteristics associated with the term. Although I am relatively fit and healthy, I am not as active as I was 20 years ago. I suffer from low level medical issues associated with my age such as arthritis, myopia and fluctuating weight. However, I do not resent this term, nor the reality of my life. It is illogical to expect to maintain the same level of health and activity throughout your entire life.
Data from a YouGov survey from 2017 showing perceptions on age in the UK
Sadly, society does not see or quantify age as simply being the number of years you’ve existed. Age is something to be exalted and worshipped (in respect to youth) while simultaneously being a stick to beat you with (try being a woman in her sixties attempting to get served at a bar). Age is also a means of discrimination and a way of arbitrarily pigeon-holing people. But it is also a key factor in many cultural biases, such as views on sexuality, multiculturalism and wider considerations about the UK’s place in the world. There are many subtleties and paradoxes to wade through. Men age and become “distinguished”, where the tabloid press consider any woman who has the gall to grow old as being an utter disgrace. But the elephant in the room is how society as a whole takes a dim view of senior citizens. They are all too often portrayed as just tedious, social baggage. So when you consider the utter polarised and entrenched cultural views on age, I guess my logical categorisation is out of step with the wider world.
Play Your Own Way
This post comes with caveats. In a perfect world, common sense would prevail and I wouldn’t have to list them. But we live in an age where some people take great pleasure in being professional contrarians and deliberately obtuse. So let me state clearly and unequivocally, I am not advocating that your gaming pleasure should come at the expense of someone else's. If you sign up for a 12 man raid and have a specific role to play, then do so to the best of your ability. Fooling around has consequences in such a scenario. However, that is not what is being discussed here. Nope. What I am suggesting is that you should take your pleasures, where you can find them. And if they have no tangible impact upon other players, then you are totally entitled to play your game of choice in a manner that suits you. It’s a simple axiom, yet it still proves to be very difficult for some gamers to comprehend and more importantly accept. Allow me to explain by means of an example.
This post comes with caveats. In a perfect world, common sense would prevail and I wouldn’t have to list them. But we live in an age where some people take great pleasure in being professional contrarians and deliberately obtuse. So let me state clearly and unequivocally, I am not advocating that your gaming pleasure should come at the expense of someone else's. If you sign up for a 12 man raid and have a specific role to play, then do so to the best of your ability. Fooling around has consequences in such a scenario. However, that is not what is being discussed here. Nope. What I am suggesting is that you should take your pleasures, where you can find them. And if they have no tangible impact upon other players, then you are totally entitled to play your game of choice in a manner that suits you. It’s a simple axiom, yet it still proves to be very difficult for some gamers to comprehend and more importantly accept. Allow me to explain by means of an example.
I was playing Call of Duty Warzone a few nights ago. I like to play Solo Battle Royale mode, which consists of 150 players parachuting into the warzone in a free-for-all fight. Now not being the world’s best “runner and gunner”, I try various different tactics to keep me engaged and occupied when playing this game. On the occasion in question, I decided to grab one of the helicopters you find dotted around the map and took to the skies above Verdansk. Now this doesn’t come without risk, as you can take fire from players equipped with LMGs and surface to air missiles. If you alight upon a rooftop, you are at further risk as there’s full access to these areas via stairwells. Players can also call in airstrikes and artillery bombardments. So if you decide to fly a helicopter as a means of avoiding the firefights happening at ground level, you have to keep moving and keep an eye on the contracting “safe zone”. Well to cut a long story short, this is what I did. I managed to stay aloft and get into the last three players, however I eventually succumbed to the gas and crashed.
Now for me, this was just an amusing experiment and diversion. It’s not something I intend to do continuously but I’ll certainly try it again with another type of vehicle. It’s a means for me to keep engaged with the game. However, it has come to my attention that “this sort of behaviour” is an anathema to some CoD WZ players. And you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out who. Every game has their own version of the “Fun Police” but it seems to be especially more endemic to PVP genres. There’s a certain type of player that considers their own approach to the game to be the only relevant position and doesn’t care for any form of dissent on the issue. They’re self appointed arbiters of what is and isn’t (in their opinion) the correct way to play. It’s an utterly intellectually bankrupt position but we sadly live in an age of such dogmatic tribalism. And it was some of this brigade who were most displeased with my shenanigans as they felt it wasn’t in the spirit of the game.
It will come as no surprise to you that these baseless complaints fell on deaf ears. My activities incommoded no one and as there is no universally accepted game code, such complaints are irrelevant. If you want to ensure that everyone you play with cleaves to the same ideology as you, I would advise not joining public groups but instead creating private games. All of which can be done easily in CoD WZ. But such people would much rather have something to complain about and see every minor social interaction in life as some part of a wider ongoing culture war. The best way to counter such entrenched stupidity is to mock it. Therefore, I strongly advocate and extol the mantra of “play your own way”. You are not beholden to slavishly follow someone else’s interpretation of the rules. Do what brings you pleasure and fun. If you want to collect all the shinies, then you do that. Roleplay a Bolivian, amputee, bee keeper if you see fit. Only play a specific zone in an MMO if that’s your jam. Dress up alts, eschew levelling, ignore the prevailing game meta if you like. You are free to do what you want, how you want within the terms of service. Angry arguments to the contrary are just white noise from the socially dysfunctional. Bollocks to them.
COVID-19 Pandemic 2020 Part 4
I started displaying symptoms of COVID-19 on Sunday 5th April. I developed a headache, a raised temperature and muscle pains. And then the coughing started along with a sense of tightness in my chest. It was initially just uncomfortable and inconvenient. By Wednesday all symptoms had become much worse and I felt like I was in a constant bear hug. I was continuously trying to find a position where breathing wasn’t so painful and awkward. Due to the toll that fighting the virus was taking on my body, I was feeling very lethargic, despite sleeping at night for over 10 hours and napping during the day. I also noticed that I was continuously thirsty and was eating a great deal, to fuel my body’s immune system. Then on the evening of Friday 10th April I started to feel extremely cold. That evening was the worst I felt throughout the entire experience. Despite wrapping myself in a duvet and multiple blankets, I could not get warm. And then over the course of the weekend all symptoms started to decline. By Monday 13th April all that was left of COVID-19 was a sense of extreme fatigue. Something that will last for another week according to medical sources.
I started displaying symptoms of COVID-19 on Sunday 5th April. I developed a headache, a raised temperature and muscle pains. And then the coughing started along with a sense of tightness in my chest. It was initially just uncomfortable and inconvenient. By Wednesday all symptoms had become much worse and I felt like I was in a constant bear hug. I was continuously trying to find a position where breathing wasn’t so painful and awkward. Due to the toll that fighting the virus was taking on my body, I was feeling very lethargic, despite sleeping at night for over 10 hours and napping during the day. I also noticed that I was continuously thirsty and was eating a great deal, to fuel my body’s immune system. Then on the evening of Friday 10th April I started to feel extremely cold. That evening was the worst I felt throughout the entire experience. Despite wrapping myself in a duvet and multiple blankets, I could not get warm. And then over the course of the weekend all symptoms started to decline. By Monday 13th April all that was left of COVID-19 was a sense of extreme fatigue. Something that will last for another week according to medical sources.
Looking back at these events with a fresh sense of perspective, I was too preoccupied with dealing with my symptoms to be overly scared about my medical condition at the time. However, if my breathing had deteriorated any further I would have had to have sought medical attention. With hindsight I appreciate that this was a nerve racking experience for Mrs P who had to attend to me, while maintaining a safe distance. However, I managed to keep myself occupied during this nine day experience and felt this was a major contribution to maintaining a positive mental outlook and not giving into fear. Media coverage of COVID-19 tends to fall on the extreme end of the spectrum, which doesn’t entirely reflect reality of the disease. 80% of those that contract the virus develop mild symptoms, like those I had and are able to make a full recovery within 7 to 14 days. However, that being said, it was still far from a pleasant experience. The breathing related issues were my biggest concern and it must be terrifying for those who require hospitalisation and assistance with respiration.
Although there is not yet a comprehensive picture of all the effects of COVID-19, there is no overwhelming data to show that you can re-contract the virus. Hence, having survived my bout of illness, I feel a lot more comfortable when out and about. I had to visit the Pharmacist today and was not so concerned when other people broke the social distancing protocols. If you think about the lockdown policy logically, all it is designed to do is to slow the infection rate among the population, so as to not overwhelm the healthcare system. The lockdown does not guarantee that you will not contract COVID-19. You’d have to live in a clean room for that to be a reality. However, although I am relieved that I have come through this experience relatively unscathed, I am still observing social distancing rules at home to ensure that my family’s wider health is not put in jeopardy. The nightly new broadcasts are a sober reminder that although only a small percentage develop serious symptoms, it is a truly horrific experience for those who do.