Instruction Manuals
I try not to let the failings of contemporary capitalism get to me but such a mindset is very hard to maintain. From time to time it does just piss you off and you know damn well that there’s nothing you can do about it. So to begin this tale, at the end of November, our Indesit washer/dryer gave up the ghost after a valiant twelve year lifespan. As a result of this household appliance’s stirling work, it was decided to buy another from the same manufacturer. Their website informed me that the model that had just broken was no longer being produced. However, it recommended two newer appliances that had comparable specifications and more importantly the same size. This washer/dryer had to fit into a fitted kitchen unit. To cut a long story short, a model was chosen, purchased, delivered within 48 hours and installed. The broken predecessor was subsequently taken away. The wonders of modern consumer culture!
"42"
I am getting old. I shall be 58 in December. Now, as soon as you say something like that these days, some folk will get uncomfortable and say things like “age is relative” or “you’re as old as you feel”. Well I don’t measure my age in geological terms, so it’s not relative and I’m not feeling anyone especially young at the moment, so both schools or thoughts can sod off. I am getting old by the yardstick we measure human life by, namely years. I have specific, age related health issues and I just don’t feel as energised as I did a decade ago. There are minor signs, such as deciding to go to bed earlier and taking longer to get dressed after taking a shower. I’m not at death’s door but I am slowing up physically. It would also appear that my reactions are also slowing down as I tend to get massacred in any FPS I play these days. So far, my mental faculties seem to be holding up. However, that is the one thing I worry about the most. The potential loss of cognitive abilities scares the shit out of me.
Smiling
Prior to writing this post, I clocked a picture on a news website of the now disgraced TV presenter (and nonce) Gregg Wallace. I noticed that he doesn’t smile as such but tends to “gurn” instead. So does UK politician (and cunt) Nigel Farage. He always has his mouth open and his face contorted in some curious rictus, in most of the pictures you see of him. Mind you, I also don’t photograph especially well and any pictures of me smiling tend to look sinister or with a heavy hint of irony. The bottom line is not everyone is good at smiling. It doesn’t come naturally to all of us. This can be a problem at times or in social situations, because smiling is an integral part of our culture. On many occasions, I’ve been walking along, my face in a state of natural repose, only to be harangued by some twat shouting “cheer up, it may never happen”. A phrase I haven’t quite fathomed out, even to this day.
Booking Tickets
Last night Mrs P said apropos of nothing, “shall we go and see John Bishop”? For those who don’t know, John Bishop is an established UK comedian who is currently touring the country. So I went online and checked the details of his tour. We were quite happy to travel to see his show as it would provide an opportunity for a weekend away. Sadly, to cut a long story short we were unable to secure any tickets that suited our needs. From January to April, the tour is mainly using smaller venues such as local theatres and art centres. Later in the year during October and November, the tour moves to arenas, conference centres and stadiums. I find these very impersonal and don’t see any merit in sitting far away from the stage, watching an artist on a giant video screen. We had hoped we could get tickets at one of the smaller theatres but sadly we couldn’t find two seats together.
Being Organised
I recently “tooted” on Mastodon “sometimes it’s a real drag to be the person who always has their shit together”. Although meant humorously, there was an element of truth to the remark. Allow me to explain. I always have a shopping bag in my coat pocket. Our household always has a supply of those things that you often run out of or need occasionally. Such as AA batteries, stamps and envelopes. If Mrs P and I are going out for the day, we’ll check the weather and traffic before we set off. There’s always a spare toner and drum unit for the printer, as well as paper. We’ll book a table at our favourite restaurant in advance of going to the West End show. Why do we do these things? Because we’re organised. I’m not trying to be smug about it, that’s just our default position and how we were raised. Perhaps it’s a generational thing?