Navigating UK Culture and Etiquette
I have several friends whose careers has taken them abroad and as a result they are now residents of other countries. Two live in the US and one lives in Australia. Whenever we catch up socially they quickly fall back into what I describe as “British Mode”, despite the occasional lapse into a US or Australian accent or the use of a word or phrase specific to those countries. All of them are fully integrated into their respective new homes and societies but at heart they still remain a Brit. There are some very particular cultural foibles and matters of etiquette that make for this very specific distinction. I have noticed them myself when speaking with my US colleagues online. I spent several years co-hosting a podcast with my American friend Brian and every now and then, they’d be a pregnant pause in our discussions because one of us had referenced something unknown to the other, or touched upon a social difference that discombobulated the other.
The Art of Packing Your Groceries
One of the things I enjoy most about having my own blog is the fact I can write about the mundane and the trivial. Mainly because so much of life falls into this category. Life defining events are all fine and dandy and certainly lend themselves to philosophical musings that make fine blog posts. However, you can get just as much mileage out of those everyday things in life with less gravitas, that we all do. Such as buying new clothes, taking out the recycling and going to buy groceries. I have written about all of these in the past. However, today I wish to broach a subject that both fascinates me but also raises my blood pressure. I believe it to be a social marker and a clear indication of an individual’s personal psychology. Yes, I’m talking about packing your groceries at the supermarket and the various rituals and social etiquette associated with it.
Dining and Table Manners
I saw a post on social media recently which featured a picture of a plate with three slices of cake, along with a cake fork (also known as a pastry fork or dessert fork). I made a comment about using the right tool for the job and then thought how unusual it was to see this particular piece of cutlery these days. I then remembered that my American friends refer to cutlery as silverware, which then got me thinking about table manners and the associated social etiquette around dining. The internet does an excellent job of making the world smaller and because international English and US pop culture are so ubiquitous, you can be fooled into thinking that we’re all somewhat homogeneous in our habits and customs. That, however, is not the case and I have always found these minor differences fascinating. Hence I thought it would be a good subject to explore.
Smile and Wave
Let me begin with an anecdote. I was putting out the recycling for collection on Sunday afternoon, when a passing car slowed down. The driver then honked the horn and gave me a cheery wave. Being culturally conditioned to be polite, I smiled and waved back. The vehicle then continued on its way and I went back inside my home pondering who the hell it was who had just greeted me in such a friendly fashion. Several days later I still have no idea. This is not the first time such a thing has happened. In fact it’s a fairly regular occurrence. I was going to my local doctor's surgery recently when a lady in her late twenties hailed me and engaged me in conversation. I managed to bluff my way through our exchange and she departed in the same good humour that she began with. To this day I have no clear idea as to her identity or how she knew me. My theory is that she may have been one of my late father’s carers. But I cannot be sure.
Do We “Share” Too Much?
During my lifetime there have been many major cultural changes in the UK. These range from the decriminalisation of homosexuality in 1967, to the decline of the Church of England. Then at the other end of the spectrum you have the waning of social conventions and etiquette. People no longer wear hats and Sunday has ceased to be a more sedate day of the week. Such is the nature of change. Society does not remain static. One aspect of life that has radically altered is the concept of privacy. By this I mean what personal details and information we share with friends, neighbours, work colleagues and the state. Because nowadays, such information seems to be much more freely given. A lot more people seem to wear their hearts on their sleeves. Certainly social media has contributed greatly to this behavioural change.
Not Liking Sport
Sport can be a universal icebreaker at social and work related gatherings. Having spent several years in the field of short term IT contracts, I’ve frequently found myself working with small groups of men (mainly), often from different parts of the UK or from around the world. One of the first subjects broached so people could get to know each other would usually be sport. “Did you see the (insert sporting event here)?” is a common place opening gambit. The next thing you know people are holding forth and a social dynamic is formed. This is a classic example of the sort of etiquette that helps society tick over. However there’s only one problem with this social tool. I don't care for sport. As a result I can be at a social disadvantage in certain scenarios.