Unintuitive Software, Incessant Updates and Bloat

I turned on my laptop this morning for the first time in 4 months. I knew it was that long because I hadn’t connected the laptop to the new Netgear router that I bought at the end of April. Unsurprisingly, as I haven’t used this device for a while there were multiple Windows updates to be installed. This process took over an hour, so while the various updates were being downloaded and installed, I turned my attention to my Amazon Echo Dot which loiters in the corner of our lounge, doing very little to justify its existence. At present this device is mainly used as a glorified timer for cooking, which seems a bit of a waste given it’s alleged capabilities. Hence, I decided to see if I could increase its functionality while waiting for Windows to do its update thing. More on this later. Let us for the meantime return to the small matter of the operating system updates. Once they were completed, I immediately installed Chris Titus Tech’s Windows Utility and started removing unnecessary features and bloat, as well as disabling invasive services.

I turned on my laptop this morning for the first time in 4 months. I knew it was that long because I hadn’t connected the laptop to the new Netgear router that I bought at the end of April. Unsurprisingly, as I haven’t used this device for a while there were multiple Windows updates to be installed. This process took over an hour, so while the various updates were being downloaded and installed, I turned my attention to my Amazon Echo Dot which loiters in the corner of our lounge, doing very little to justify its existence.

At present this device is mainly used as a glorified timer for cooking, which seems a bit of a waste given it’s alleged capabilities. Hence, I decided to see if I could increase its functionality while waiting for Windows to do its update thing. More on this later. Let us for the meantime return to the small matter of the operating system updates. Once they were completed, I immediately installed Chris Titus Tech’s Windows Utility and started removing unnecessary features and bloat, as well as disabling invasive services.

Let’s just pause for a moment to consider what has happened. An operating system has been updated and among the bugs and security fixes are a multitude of mandatory additional features that I neither want or requested. These are usually sold as being “helpful” or “beneficial” but seldom are. As a result of this invasive and insulting policy by Microsoft, I then have to use a third party tool, created by someone who is equally frustrated with this bullshit, to effectively deal with it.

What an utterly risible situation this is. Imagine going to the supermarket to buy some essentials and finding that the store had also added a host of other products that you never use or even like. I’m sure there would be numerously strongly worded letters sent to the Times. Furthermore, tools like CTT’s Windows Utility, Crap Fixer and Winaero Tweaker although a great way to purge your PC of superfluous apps and service, are often only a temporary fix. I frequently find that the next update detects that something it previously installed is now missing and subsequently reinstalls it. The hubris of such actions is truly shocking. It’s like the pool cleaner you hire, defecating in your pool and when you fish the offending stool out, they simply come back and do it again.

“Alexa, why are you such an unhelpful git?”

Let us return now to the subject of adding functionality to my Amazon Echo Dot as this is an excellent segue into the next topic; unintuitive software. Administration of your Echo is carried out via a phone app. That’s fair enough. Using your phone is a convenient means to quickly set up an online enabled device without the need to use a PC or laptop (unless you don’t have a phone but that’s a subject for a different blog post).

In this instance I wanted to add access to BBC Sounds, so I can just bellow at Alexa to play the podcast version of some of my favourite radio shows. I also thought I’d added access to Global Player as well, so I can listen to LBC London (another radio station) when I’m in the lounge, rather than having the hassle of using my TV. I started looking around the Alexa app on my phone and quickly discovered it was singularly unintuitive. Rather than clearly named menu options with logical. nested sub-menus, it was just a sea of “helpful suggestions”, all of which were the exact opposite.

I have no issue in principle with the idea of collating commonly asked questions. This can be useful. However, it should be a clearly labelled menu option, not a word cloud that lives on the app landing page. To cut a long story short, I used Chat GPT to navigate through this tsunami of bullshit and eventually found the settings that I needed to access. Again let’s take a moment to reflect on what I had to do. I had to ask an AI, how to configure an app that runs a Smart speaker.

Pro tip for anyone who thinking of doing similar. Don’t waste your time asking Alexa for any guidance or advice. They are incapable of rendering any help. I have already turned my thoughts to whether it is possible to buy and configure your own Smart speaker and have it run on some other open source software in conjunction with a LLM of some kind. Because what both of these anecdotes seem to indicate is that commercial software is neither user friendly or convenient.

Now as I’ve been writing this post, I’ve considered whether my perspective or complaints are unreasonable and whether they’re driven by an underlying bias. Due to my age and the amount of time I have spent dealing with software of this ilk over the years, I recognise that I certainly have been potentially conditioned to expect things to work in a certain way. Mainly because in the old days of Windows 3.11 and 95, a great deal of effort was put into creating intuitive UIs that could easily be grasped.

Perhaps the biggest cultural shift in this area is the current mindset where things are decided for you, determined by the small group of people that developed the software. “We’ve laid out your desktop this way, because this is how we do it. You don’t need access to these services and folders. Why would you? Here’s a load of stuff we think you’ll like (and by that we mean we’ve been paid to add, whether you like it or not). I cannot adequately express how I fucking hate this philosophy.

I am a 58 year old man. Am I picky and at time difficult? Yes I bloody well am. I didn’t get where I am today by not being picky and difficult (one for C. J. fans). I was taught about PC and server deployment, network topology and administration and good working practise by too old school engineers at the beginning of my career. Both favoured, lean and uncluttered desktops and extolled the virtues of software that provided logical, intuitive and cleanly designed interfaces. I adopted their habits like the apt pupil I was.

To this day I still audibly tut when I see a poorly organised and messy patch panel. Hence I understand that my rigid world view may clash with the disorderly, slapdash, laissez faire bullshit that passes for contemporary UI design (I’m trying to be even handed here). However, think of your average user. Do they not deserve a clean and sensibly laid out interface so they have a fighting chance of using the software that comes with their devices? I bloody well think I do, because I’m a paying customer.

And as a palette cleanser, to a somewhat acerbic post, let me finish on a positive anecdote. I recently set up my Nintendo Switch again, as I didn’t sell it after all. I did this while it was connected to my lounge TV, using a game controller, the on-screen menus and nothing else. It was a proverbial walk in the park. Well done Nintendo (Jazz hands). Take note Amazon you bastards.

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