Why Does the Games Industry Seem So Dysfunctional?
Write here...If you take a look at video game industry at present, it isn’t exactly enjoying universally good PR. 2017 saw numerous damaging revelations such as the “loot box” debacle, several high-profile studios going to the wall (and not just because of financial mismanagement), and more recently there have been serious allegations of bullying and sexual harassment within several high-profile studios. Despite being a “modern” industry it seems to have all the flaws of those that have existed for centuries with respect to abuses of power and financial skulduggery. This raises the question "why does this industry seem so dysfunctional?" Just because gaming is a multi-billion-dollar business we naturally assume that successful companies are efficiently run, by competent captains of industry as well as skilled and professional staff. It is therefore confusing when this illusion is shattered due to evidence to the contrary. This begs the question, why do these institutions so often have metaphorical feet of clay?
If you take a look at video game industry at present, it isn’t exactly enjoying universally good PR. 2017 saw numerous damaging revelations such as the “loot box” debacle, several high-profile studios going to the wall (and not just because of financial mismanagement), and more recently there have been serious allegations of bullying and sexual harassment within several high-profile studios. Despite being a “modern” industry it seems to have all the flaws of those that have existed for centuries with respect to abuses of power and financial skulduggery. This raises the question "why does this industry seem so dysfunctional?" Just because gaming is a multi-billion-dollar business we naturally assume that successful companies are efficiently run, by competent captains of industry as well as skilled and professional staff. It is therefore confusing when this illusion is shattered due to evidence to the contrary. This begs the question, why do these institutions so often have metaphorical feet of clay?
To start let me declare my own background as my own experiences are relevant to this discussion. I have worked in IT for over twenty-five years in both the private and public sector. I started in first line support and worked my way up to running my own consultancy, from which I retired in 2016. I have worked for companies such as HP, Symbian and government departments such as the NHS as well as the DWP. I have been directly involved in several national projects, some of which have been successful while others have failed miserably. None of these situations are identical to the gaming industry, but I believe there are a lot of similarities between the way big businesses work and make decisions. I also read a lot about the gaming industry and at times find it a lot more interesting than the actual products that they develop. This has often been the focus of our discussions here at Contains Moderate Peril both in posts and on the podcast. Therefore, when I read stories about the iniquities of the gaming industry, I often view them through the prism of business, rather than fandom.
So, returning to the initial question of dysfunction, I would argue that the gaming industry is no different from any other major business or governmental entity. Politics, big business and the entertainment industry are as equally rife with the same problems you will find with smaller employers. In fact, I think a lot of people would be surprised at the similarities. Both ends of the spectrum have issues with under qualified staff, office politics, feedback loops, laziness and that social phenomenon that is “square pegs in round holes”. The latter group seems to be subject to a quota system that no company is excused from. Despite rigorous recruitment processes, there always seem to be a small percentage of wildcards that somehow seem to slip through the intense screening. Or alternatively, we later discover that the screening isn’t that thorough to begin with. Then of course there is the Dunning-Kruger effect which impacts on all social groups both in and outside of business. It is possibly one of the commonest problems of our time.
The problem is that the general public erroneously assumes that successful big companies have gained their status through efficiency and vision; that their internal business structure is a model of the best methodologies and practises. Sadly, this is often not the case. Corporations suffer from the same flaws as smaller enterprises but have the advantage of monopolies, more effective marketing and sheer momentum due to their monolithic size. Then there is of course the concept of being "too big to fail". Often a major business will be granted a lot more leeway by during difficult times because of their overall potential. Creative accounting is also a factor, as having a legion of financial experts and financiers at your beck and call, means that you can present a positive financial image, whether there is one or not. Smaller companies cannot hide behind such smokes screens as easily.
As consumers, need to take a lot of people and companies off the pedestals on which we've been placed them. This is especially relevant to gamers where the cult of personality and brand loyalty still hold sway. We also have to make a clear distinction between the creative staff within a business and those in senior management. One group may well care more for the end product, while the other has a totally different agenda and more financially orientated goals. It is also prudent to consider the issue of size. I have found that the successful management of people decreases exponentially as the size of that group grows. There is also a wealth of data available on all the inherent flaws of managing staff via a traditional business hierarchy. Ironically, a lot of the attributes that are encouraged to be successful in modern business, actually seem contrary to the moral and ethical behaviour we expect in a civilised society. It is this paradox that seems to be the Achilles heel of all business, regardless of their nature or size.
So next time we find ourselves surprised by some example of big business making bad decisions, take a moment to reflect upon the following. The launch of “New Coke” in 1985, Kodak’s failure to market digital cameras despite being a leader in its development, and Blockbusters rejection of a buyout by Netflix in 2000. In light of these, it is hardly surprising when you discover that the developer of your favourite MMO has clumsily handled a PR situation, or not listened to player feedback. It’s not gaming as an industry that is dysfunctional per se, but the fact that so many gamers have a skewed perspective of it. We make judgements with our hearts and fail to use whatever sense of business acumen we may have. We also tend to romanticise certain jobs because the end product is “cool”. Yet, if you visited a game developer’s offices, you’d probably find a work environment not that different from your own. Staff are more than likely grumbling about pay, the failings of the boss and Tim in HR. Ultimately it is that random human factor that breeds dysfunction, so it is inevitable that it spreads everywhere. So why should the games industry be any different?
Over the course of the last 16 years, the MMORPG Star Trek Online has changed greatly. What started as a disjointed, rushed game with unfinished systems and a lack of overall cohesion has now evolved into streamlined MMO with clearly defined systems and very strong narrative arcs. Let it suffice to say that STO makes very good use of its license and the intellectual property it is built upon. Although new content has been continuously added to STO over time and refinements are regularly rolled out, the developer’s have also removed content from the game in the past, that they feel is substandard or too dated in it presentation. Hence in October 2018 Cryptic took out the following eight missions from the game, with the proviso that they would be updated and replaced at a latter date. Until fairly recently, STO players had given up hope on this ever happening and the episodes being reinstated. Eight years is a long time.
One of the things that I enjoy when playing a new video game is character customisation or character creation. I will spend hours trawling through settings, changing the most minute and consequential aspects of my avatars appearance. I am certain that there is a psychological aspect to this particular game mechanic and that it says something about you as a person. Are your creations shaped just by a need to look good in-game or is there more to it? Are they external manifestations of your sexual preferences or thoughts on body image. Do you treat them as characters from a book that exists in your mind. Do you aspire to recreate the likeness of people you know or admire? Do you strive to make your avatar look like you? Whatever the reasons, it would seem that character creation is something that a lot of gamers enjoy. Hence I am not alone in my borderline obsession. What you look like in-game is equally as important as your character’s name.
I was playing Battlefield 6 recently and was experimenting with the mortar. If you stick with it and take some time to become familiar with its foibles, it can be an effective weapon. It can suppress the enemy, destroy equipment and provide useful cover for your own team. I remember thinking “I wonder if artillery could sustain a game on its own”. Artillery is an interesting feature in Hell Let Loose, although it is a little more complex in its game mechanics. I believe artillery is also available in Wardogs. I therefore spent a while looking online to see if there was a dedicated artillery simulator available or at least a game where it was a key feature. There nearest thing I found was Iron Nest, a dieselpunk heavy artillery game which looks interesting but isn’t quite what I seek. So I parked this idea and moved. Tonight, while perusing YouTube, I stumble across a teaser trailer for a game called Flak Simulator, currently under development by Horseman Interactive. It appears to be exactly what I am looking for.
I recently tried to use DLSS 5 Manager with the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out. Today I undertook a similar experiment with AMD Neural Rendering, which is a broadly comparable product. Both utilities use 3D-Guided Neural Rendering, an AI technology that alters how lighting, reflections, and textures look in a game. Instead of just upscaling the image like older versions, DLSS 5 uses an AI network to instantly "re-render" lighting and material responses over the game's layout, achieving photorealistic details that would normally negatively impact a graphics card's performance. Or to put it in less fancy terms, the game graphics are enhanced and modified, although it is highly subjective as to whether the end results are an improvement. However, as a game such as LOTRO is unlikely to ever receive a major graphical overhaul, tools such as these are the nearest players will get to revised graphics.
The core game code and engine for the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online, is about 24 years old. LOTRO began originally as Middle-earth Online, developed by Sierra On-Line in 1998. Turbine took over full development of the project in 2003/2004 when their parent company, Vivendi Universal Games, acquired Sierra. The content that had already been developed by Sierra was abandoned and Turbine created a new game using structural elements such as the UI and game engine from their previous release Asheron’s Call 2 from 2002. The Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar was officially released in April 2007. Hence, the active public release code is 19 years old. Despite continuous expansion and updates, along with a recent migration to 64-bit architecture, the foundations of LOTRO retains a nearly twenty year old legacy framework. This frequently contributes to modern technical hurdles and engine constraints.
A few years ago, there was a fan created project to provide voice narration of NPC dialogue in the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. This mainly involved capturing the text in the quest dialogue windows and then sending it to OCR software, before using a text-to-speech program to read it. LOTROVoice as it was known, broadly worked but the creator stopped developing it as it proved troublesome to maintain. However, I recently discovered Khazad Voice TTS which is a separate project that does pretty much the same. I went so far as to install this “immersive AI narrator for LOTRO” after seeing a YouTube video of it being used successfully. Sadly I ran into issues configuring Khazad Voice TTS, because I have two monitors and LOTRO runs on the secondary (by my choice) and not the primary. I couldn’t “lasso” the dialogue windows in LOTRO during the calibration set up, which effectively prevented me from completing the process.
Throughout yesterday and early today, there was an issue logging in to the MMORPG, The Lord of the Rings Online. Upon starting the game launcher, it would attempt to connect to the patch server to download the latest game update. This process would start but then subsequently stall at 33%. The launcher would then attempt to reconnect to the patch server every 60 seconds but could not make any further progress. Some players found that if they left it long enough, it would eventually complete the download and the launcher then progress to the next screen where they could input their username and password. However, for the majority of LOTRO players the problem would simply persists and the launcher would be stuck in a loop. Some players attempted to reinstall the game or use the repair data facility in the launcher but neither of these proved to be successful workarounds. The patch sever needed to be bypassed to resolve the issue.
I’ve been playing Fall Guys since its launch in early 2020, during the start of the pandemic. It is a fun, family friendly multiplayer game which is has proven popular with my grandchildren. Despite the game’s acquisition by Epic, it has maintained a sufficient level of popularity that has seen it ported to all major gaming platforms. Fall Guys is free to play but like most multiplayer games, there is a season pass and an in-game store. However, these monetised aspects are not essential to enjoy the game and the overall marketing of emotes and skins is nowhere near as invasive as it is in Roblox. In fact many of the players I see while in-game have default skins, indicating a regular casual player base. However, although game seems to be maintaining its popularity, it has several bugs that appear to be be persistent. Bugs that the developers claim have been resolved. Some can be addressed by players. Other at present cannot.
I find the concept of in-game radio stations fascinating. They’re an enjoyable aspect of open world video games and I have discovered several artists this way. They’re certainly a big deal as far as Rockstar Games are concerned, because the music selected for GTA VI is another important facet of the overall marketing campaign. So far, between two trailers and the sprawling extended look on Netflix, it has been determined that Tom Petty, the Pointer Sisters, Sexyy Red, Depeche Mode, Phil Collins, Birdman, Lil Wayne and the Bellamy Brothers are all part of the game soundtrack. That’s a very eclectic selection so far. Furthermore, there will be a 34 track album released on physical media (vinyl and CD) in conjunction with Atlantic Records.
Two years ago I wrote a post about fine tuning your graphics in the MMORPG The Lord of the Rings Online. Apart from installing ReShade and using AMD Adrenalin, the options were somewhat limited, due to the game’s age and multiplayer status. Since then, I’ve been playing LOTRO with the game settings maxed out, a custom ReShade profile to make the colour palette more vivid and Radeon Image Sharpening enabled within the AMD software. The game looks clear, crisp and the draw distance is pretty good for an ageing game but I still wish the graphics could be tweaked further. Hence, I’ve been trawling the internet in a vain attempt to see if I can find any third party utilities that could be used to enhance LOTRO further. During the course of my search I stumbled across DLSS 5 Manager. This is an open-source, intelligent utility and one-click mod installer designed to inject and manage Nvidia's DLSS 5 neural rendering features, ReShade, and OptiScaler into PC games.
Hellraiser (1987) was one of he most innovative and intelligent horror films of the eighties, with its cerebral and sophisticated exploration of pleasure, pain and the supernatural. Sadly what was a great concept for a single film was turned into yet another horror franchise. The resulting series of increasingly inferior sequels ultimately diminished the central idea. However, in recent years several horror “brands” have found a new lease of life via the medium of video games, so the announcement of Hellraiser: Revival last summer piqued my interest. The fact that author Clive Barker was directly involved certainly raised my expectations. However, even though video games have a history of depicting sex and violence, would the medium be able to fully embrace the true nature of Barker’s original novella and original film. Having played through the newly released demo for Hellraiser: Revival, I believe the answer is a yes.
Are video games becoming easier? It’s a perennial subject that is frequently discussed by those who play them. Often the question of whether they have actually become easier is not the focus of the debate, as it seems to be broadly recognised that it is the case. Instead, discussion of this matter tend to drift into the rectitude of this change. Debate’s of this nature are usually awash with subjective opinions and personal preferences which are then put forward as objective facts. It’s not just a question of video games becoming easier, it’s the fact that making them easier is “wrong” and those who want them as such are “not proper gamers” etc. The hours that have been lost to this pointless, tedious debate are uncountable. However, I digress. Let us return to the matter of video games becoming easier, because although fans discuss this a lot and have plenty to say, you don’t often hear from the developers on this subject.
Some video games lend themselves to being set aside and resumed at a later date with zero consequences. These are often casual games with no major goals other than having fun while playing them. Fall Guys is a great example of this. You have a cartoony avatar that participates in zany group races, filled with obstacles. You run, jump, climb but the controls are far from difficult. You may well become skilled but such things are mitigated by the other players as they stumble around. You’re not at the mercy of apex players or “try hards”. It is not a game about winning and mastering techniques. The fun comes from playing it and the unique experience you have each time. I’ve been playing this game, on and off, since it’s launch in 2020 and in that time I have only ever won once (winning requires you to win a series of 4 to six individual races). However, whenever I pick up my controller and play Fall Guys, I have fun and the game lifts my spirits.
I recently completed the main story in Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon. In total I spent about sixty hours playing the game. I began at the start of the year, then took a break for a while but returned to it recently because I wanted to see if I could unlock a specific ending. I did manage to do this. Like so many other RPGs, Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon has a central storyline, along with a wealth of side quests, based around factions in specific zones. I think I possibly completed about a two thirds of these. However, once I finished the main story, my interest in the game began to wane. I finally left my character in the last major quest hub in case I wish to return at a future date. I then logged out of the game and uninstalled it from my PC to free up space for whatever I was to play next. In this case its The Sinking City 2. None of this is a negative reflection on Tainted Grail: the Fall of Avalon. I enjoyed the time I spent playing this quirky RPG. I simply had my fill and left to play something else.
On Tuesday 11th April, Aspyr Media rather surprisingly re-released The Lord of the Rings: War in the North, a co-op action-RPG from 2011. This game was delisted in late 2019, possibly due to changing rights ownership or a license expiring. Hence, I was somewhat discombobulated by the return of this title to all major gaming platforms. Mind you, the Embracer Group (through its subsidiary Middle-earth Enterprises) still controls the worldwide commercial and video game licensing rights for The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Furthermore they have explicitly stated that they have plans for more games. It would appear this also means re-releasing and updating old favourites. It is also worth noting that they own Aspyr Media, which is also a bit of a giveaway. Let it suffice to say that this re-release and sparked enthusiastic online debate as to whether any other he Lord of the Rings themed games from the same era will receive a similar makeover. Judging by the internet chatter, there’s potentially a market for them.
The next expansion for the MMORG, The Lord of the Rings Online, was announced on the 1st August, via the gaming website MMORPG.The Wolves of Mordor, which will launch later in the year, appears ambitious in scope as it will include two new game systems as well as the obligatory story update. This expansion takes place in Draugardh located in the North East of Mordor, beyond the Plateau of Gorgoroth. It includes the new zones of Heledhris, Parth Rhavas and Nan Ogol. These vary environmentally ranging from the arid, volcanic and semi-tropical. Players will encounter the Daugrim in these regions, Werewolves but not in the modern sense. This is not the lycanthropy of Eastern European legends but in the established Tolkien idiom of fell spirits inhabiting the bodies of Wolves. The region also sees the return of the Woses and players can expect to encounter Elves and scouts from Gondor. As ever with LOTRO expansions, there will be new instances as well as a raid.
This is a post about the power of nostalgia and how sometimes, interacting with something from your past, be it physically or mentally, can produce a very strong and tangible emotional reaction. In some instances, this can be the result of something that you have specifically set out to do. On other occasions you can wander into a sense of nostalgia purely by chance. Today I experienced a very strong sense of nostalgia while watching a YouTube video and then again when I sought to replicate what I had seen. The video showed someone installing Windows 95 on to an old 486 PC from that era. The Window’s start up sound really touched a nerve (but in a good way) and then when the guy in the video launched Space Cadet 3D Pinball, a game that shipped with the operating system, I felt a strong compulsion to track down a copy and install the game myself, thus revisiting something that was an integral part of my life in 1995.
RV There Yet? is possibly the most entertaining game I’ve never played. My vicarious pleasure regarding this title has come exclusively from watching two popular YouTubers, JackFrags and WillFromWork, play through the game over a series of videos. It has been immensely amusing to watch and I have empathised a great deal as the group of four players has struggled with the game’s unpredictable mechanics and their own team’s dynamic. I could go and buy RV There Yet? myself but I doubt if I would ever have a gaming experience anywhere close to what I’ve watched online recently. So in some respects watching these videos has been an interesting alternative as I’ve been entertained, which ultimately is the point of video games. Perhaps there is a deeper philosophical point here that the game developers should reflect upon, as they’ve lost a potential sale. However, that is separate discussion for another day.
I don’t keep up with gaming news as much as I use to but several noteworthy announcement have come to my attention of late. Firstly, there’s an expansion, Songs of the Past, coming for the Witcher III: Wild Hunt in 2027. No doubt this is to pave the way for the Witcher IV. Next, I also found out about Hand of Fate: Horde. I liked this franchise and was saddened to learn that the original studio, Defiant Development, closed. Hence is was a pleasant surprise to see this new game being developed by members of the original studio. The third announcement was regarding Guild Wars 3. A new MMORPG in active development by a major studio is no small feat and is certainly good news for fans of this franchise and the genre per se. However, once you look beyond this news this announcement raises several questions and has certainly given me pause for thought. Let us take a few moments to consider them.
Star Trek Online has many in-game systems that are common to the MMORPG genre. The reputation system is one such example. In STO there are 13 reputation factions. Once a player has reached level 50 they may start progressing through the 6 reputation tiers of each one. Players gain progression through daily projects (20 hours in duration). Hourly projects are also available though they yield less reputation advancement and are limited to three times a day. Hence 20 hour projects are consider by default the most efficient way to gain rep. Projects require 30 Faction Specific Marks (earned via various activities in-game), 15,000 Energy Credits (standard in-game currency) and 2000 Expertise points. The most efficient way to tackle the reputation grind is to build up the necessary resources in advance and then at a designated time each day, start all 13 respective projects. Upon completion projects yield a player bound lockbox containing a random space or ground weapon, a console or Elite Marks which can be used to acquire faction gear.
I was recently perusing my archive of old blog posts, when it struck me how much I’ve written about the MMORPG genre over the years. Naturally, there was far more material from between 2008 and 2012 as that was period when I immersed myself in the genre and was very enthusiastic about it. I was at a point in my life when I had the time to dedicate to such games and I was happy to participate in the social aspect of they offered. I would regularly play through group content and spend time socialising online with fellow guild members. My experience remains a textbook example of how online games can be more than the sum of their parts and that where you are at in your life has a major impact upon your overall enjoyment. As I read though various old posts it became clear that my experiences where specific to this particular part of my life and that they cannot be repeated. My relationship with the genre is very different now and that’s fine.
Creating alts is an integral aspect of the MMORPG genre. Many players will create a character of a specific class or faction, play it for a while, lose interest in it or they may decide that it is just not for them. Fortunately it is no effort at all to simply re-roll a new alt and set off once again. Furthermore, lots of players never reach level cap of the MMORPG that there playing. When the going get’s tough, so to speak, you can either soldier on for another 50 levels or simply create a new alt and return to the comfort of tried and tested content. Alts also give you the chance to secure an accolade or achievement that you previously missed. They are also of great benefit to the genres social aspects. Creating a new alt so you can play along with a friend who is just starting is great fun. Developer’s love them too as it means you’re still playing the game.
I recently took a break from Crimson Desert choosing instead to to play something familiar and easy going. As I’ve been logging into Star Trek Online daily to participate in the anniversary event, I decided to look through my various alts and see how far they had progressed through the game and what resources they had. At present I have twelve alts. My primary Captain was created in 2015 during the original Delta Recruit Event. I had previously played STO intermittently since its release in January 2010 but I never kept any of those characters. Hence this decade old Tactical Federation Captain has been my main focus when playing. The other eleven alts are the result of other recruitment events or whenever I wanted to try something different, such as playing a specific class or faction. I obviously played a lot of STO during the lockdown as several alts date from that period. Several had maximum reputation across all factions.
The action, open world RPG Crimson Desert has been patched five times since it launched on March 19th and there have also been multiple hotfixes. At first glance this isn’t anything unusual. New games have bugs and issues arise once a game is released and played across a much wider variety of hardware than in QA testing. However, if you read the patch notes that accompany these sizeable downloads it quickly becomes apparent that developer’s Pearl Abyss are not just addressing bugs and software glitches. They are actively engaging with their player base and responding to suggestions and requests from that community. Although this is not a unique approach, what is surprising is the speed and quantity in which these player driven changes are happening. There seems to be an active ongoing process to refine the game and eliminate some of its “rough edges” and the players are contributing to this process with their feedback.
According to my Steam statistics, I last played Starfield on 19th December 2023. I bought the game upon its release in September of that year and played in total for 136 hours. Starfield held my interest for three and a half month and I wrote seven blog posts about various aspects of the game. Although there were some engaging aspects to Starfield, I did feel that that the game was somewhat lacking in systems and content, at that point in its lifecycle. I also think that the marketing and player expectations associated with Starfield were overblown and unrealistic. The shadow of Skyrim looms large over all new Bethesda releases and they don’t seem able to quite recapture that magic. Hence, I inevitably drifted away from Starfield and to another game and was effectively “done” with it. I have not played the game since which seems to validate the theory that game are becoming increasingly more ephemeral.
13 days after its release, market analysts estimate that Crimson Desert has already earned $200 million across the four main platforms (PC, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X and S). The game is certainly proving popular among gamers with the internet awash with live streams and “let’s play” videos. However, reviews are mixed both among gaming journalists and YouTube influencers. Common complaints about the game include that it is slow to start, the controls are poorly laid out on all platforms and that developer’s Pearl Abyss have done a poor job of explaining most aspects of the game to new players. Although such criticisms are true to a degree, I think these complaints highlight how many gamers are conditioned to expect new titles to follow a specific pattern with regard to pacing, narrative exposition and learning in-game systems. A pattern that Pearl Abyss has chosen to ignore, instead favouring an old school approach.
Early on Crimson Desert, the main quest requires the player to enter a tavern and arm wrestle a particularly strong guard. The arm wrestling match consists of a quick time event. If playing on PC you have to rapidly press the “E” key which turns a power meter from white to red. Then a white dial appears above the meter with a rotating hand. When the hand passes over a segment of the dial that is marked by hatching, the player must press the “R” key. The idea being the meter filling with red is you strength building (or waning) and the “R” key prompt indicates when to try and force your opponent’s arm. You will need to to continuously press the “E” key throughout the arm wrestling match and the “R” key about 4 times to win.
I started playing MMOs in late 2008 by which time the genre was clearly established and dominated by one particular title, World of Warcraft. I chose to play The Lord of the Rings Online, mainly because of my love for the intellectual property the game is based upon. I still play LOTRO today. However, I was very aware of popularity and significance of WoW at the time. It pretty much set the rules for how you design a MMO and it did much to move on from the previous gameplay parameters set by such titles as Ultima Online and EverQuest. It was also the MMO that every other developer was trying to beat. Another compelling factor regarding WoW is that everyone I knew at the time was either actively playing it or had done so at some point. It was for many gamers, the go-to title for socialising. Finally around early 2010, I tried a free trail of WoW to “see what all the fuss was about”. Simply put, I felt that it wasn’t for me.