The Christmas Edition of the Radio Times
For those outside of the UK, The Radio Times is one of the most popular TV guide magazines in the country. It was the world's first broadcast listings magazine when it was founded in 1923 by John Reith, then general manager of the BBC. It used to exclusively cover only BBC TV and radio content but over the years has expanded its listing to cover all terrestrial, satellite, cable and internet TV channels. As well as printing the various TV schedules it also contains articles, reviews and interviews associated with most forms of UK media. It is broadly deemed to be in good standing with the population and still boasts a high standard of journalism. However, over recent years The Radio Times has suffered a decline in readership the same way that all traditional print media has. Hence the bulk of its current readership are mainly those who have grown up with it and have a strong bond with it.
For those outside of the UK, The Radio Times is one of the most popular TV guide magazines in the country. It was the world's first broadcast listings magazine when it was founded in 1923 by John Reith, then general manager of the BBC. It used to exclusively cover only BBC TV and radio content but over the years has expanded its listing to cover all terrestrial, satellite, cable and internet TV channels. As well as printing the various TV schedules it also contains articles, reviews and interviews associated with most forms of UK media. It is broadly deemed to be in good standing with the population and still boasts a high standard of journalism. However, over recent years The Radio Times has suffered a decline in readership the same way that all traditional print media has. Hence the bulk of its current readership are mainly those who have grown up with it and have a strong bond with it.
Which leads me nicely on to the point of this post. Every year, The Radio Times publishes a double edition that spans the Christmas and New Year period. It naturally has a seasonal cover and for many people, marks the imminent arrival of Christmas itself. For as long as I can remember, I have always bought or at least had access to this bumper festive publication. Pawing over it, checking the remote and obscure reaches of the TV schedules for hidden gems has always been a Christmas ritual for myself and many others. The significance of this process was especially important during my youth in the seventies. As I have mentioned in previous posts, watching TV as a family, especially films were a major part of our leisure time. It nurtured my love of cinema, film making and broadened my cultural horizons. The Radio Times Christmas edition exemplified this as it represented a two-week period in which I was off from school, most of the shops were closed and the days were cold and short. This presented an ideal opportunity to curl up on the sofa and watch TV (which consisted initially of just three channels).
It’s difficult to convey to a generation that is used to having access to a wide variety of content across multiple platforms and devices, the excitement brought about by the Christmas TV schedules in seventies Britain. There was a far greater quantity and variety of content aged at children as the broadcasters new the schools were closed. Hence you could often start the day with a Disney Classic such as The Aristocats or The Love Bug. There would also be frequent classic films throughout the days, often with a seasonal flavour, such as Alistair Sim as Scrooge. It was also more likely that fantasy films would make the schedules, so movies such as Jason and the Argonauts or At the Earth Core were warmly welcomed. Then as I got older and TV expanded into late night and twenty-four hours programming, I frequently found that my taste for seasonal supernatural content was catered for, with repeats of classic MR James adaptations or by actors of note such as Tom Baker or Christopher Lee reading a spooky tale. For decades, this time of year was also the only chance you would get to see various Laurel and Hardy shorts.
Sadly, the march of time and progress has changed the TV scheduling landscape and the very way we consume television. Gone are the days were the Christmas Special episode of a popular sitcom or variety show would garner audiences of over 20 million viewers. The other major change with respect to films, is that I’ve seen most recent releases long before they reach terrestrial channels in the UK. Unfortunately, the Christmas Edition of The Radio Times, no longer holds any substantial surprises or hidden gems. Naturally there are some new shows of merit to look forward to, but it doesn’t require me to circle titles in the magazine itself anymore. Nor do I have to write a detailed list and program multiple VCRs. If I now miss anything of note I simply watch it via an on-demand player. Or if I see that The Devil Rides Out is showing in the small hours of a commercial station, I simply put on my Blu-ray copy and enjoy it in high definition, in the right aspect ratio and without the annoyance of adverts every ten minutes. Times change and there comes appoint where tradition and ritual are abandoned. I have just read through the latest Christmas Edition of The Radio Times, but the process now serves as an exercise in nostalgia rather than practical necessity. However, I’m not quite ready to let go yet (mainly due to Talking Pictures TV). Perhaps next year or the one after.
The Fetishisation of Christmas
Over the course of my life, Christmas has changed from a major religious holiday to a secular, commercialised undertaking. Although I am far from keen on the rampant consumerism that is now an integral part of the season, at its core Christmas is still about goodwill to others and a sense of coming together. So, if you’re expecting this to be a “Bah Humbug” post, then I’m sorry to disappoint you. However, I would like to focus on one aspect of Christmas culture that has grown exponentially over the years. It’s a phenomenon that seems to happen to most customs and rituals that persist in our consumer-focused society. Namely the fetishization of Christmas. By that I mean the way in which Christmas is packaged, marketed and shoe-horned into every possible commercial opportunity. We’ve reached a point culturally, where if we are exposed to a set of standardised faux seasonal stimuli, we are expected to have a specific Pavlovian response. For example, if I create a yuletide tableau featuring “snow”, “roaring fires” and “angelic children singing carols” one is contractually obliged to respond with what is colloquially referred to as “Christmas feels”.
Over the course of my life, Christmas has changed from a major religious holiday to a secular, commercialised undertaking. Although I am far from keen on the rampant consumerism that is now an integral part of the season, at its core Christmas is still about goodwill to others and a sense of coming together. So, if you’re expecting this to be a “Bah Humbug” post, then I’m sorry to disappoint you. However, I would like to focus on one aspect of Christmas culture that has grown exponentially over the years. It’s a phenomenon that seems to happen to most customs and rituals that persist in our consumer-focused society. Namely the fetishization of Christmas. By that I mean the way in which Christmas is packaged, marketed and shoe-horned into every possible commercial opportunity. We’ve reached a point culturally, where if we are exposed to a set of standardised faux seasonal stimuli, we are expected to have a specific Pavlovian response. For example, if I create a yuletide tableau featuring “snow”, “roaring fires” and “angelic children singing carols” one is contractually obliged to respond with what is colloquially referred to as “Christmas feels”.
If you do a little research, you soon discover that many of the customs and affectations of Christmas are bogus and were simply created by marketers. Our contemporary imagining of Santa Claus, ritual of decorating Christmas Trees, sending cards and the very meal we eat on Christmas day have all been shaped via commercial forces. Even a lot of the Christian heritage associated with Christmas has been taken from earlier pagan customs. Simply put Christmas has been distilled into a handful of arbitrary tropes and memes. A series of audio-visual cues that are designed to elicit a pre-programmed emotional response. Furthermore, these cultural markers are continuously added to, increasing the list of existing cues. Hence Christmas is effectively a fetish. By buying into the concept of Christmas (as it exists in a secular, consumer society), displaying and abiding by specific associated cultural markers (trees and lights, festive knitwear), one is signalling one’s participation in the process. Allegedly, the by-product of all this will be “fun” as you trigger all the associated cues.
Christmas in the non-Christian sense of the word has become one of many social occasions and events that are totally commodified. Christmas is now something that has effectively becomes a process. In fact, this seems to be a growing trend in our culture. In the past you would find obscure regional variations in seasonal festivities. Sadly, much of these have been eroded by more commercial activities. In fact, there is a growing trend of American origin, for all social occasions and activities to be formalised and standardised. Halloween has in recent years grown in popularity and spread throughout the UK and Europe with all its US commercial trappings. Senior schools now have a prom, again something that was conspicuously absent in my youth. Yet this insidious standardisation and commodification process, rather than engendering an event with real fun, actually seems to diminish it. Another aspect of this fetishization process are the self-appointed arbiters who feel compelled to ensure that everyone abides by the rules.
However, there is one positive aspect to emerge from this entire phenomenon. Because people are aware that many activities, rituals and traditions are artificial constructs, it empowers them to create their own. We can establish out own activities and habits among our own circle of friends and family and eschew those commercial ones that we dislike. The internet can be used to then propagate new ideas and help spread them globally. Plus, we shouldn’t ignore the fact that many of the pre-existing commercial activities associated with Christmas are still enjoyed by many people. I am certainly not advocating the denial of other peoples “fun”. I am merely contemplating its rectitude and longevity. From my experience the best social activities tend to happen organically. Trying to control all variables to force a specific outcome may well be prudent in science but is not exactly the best approach for social interaction. As for the fetishization of Christmas, the more it becomes homogenous and contrived, the more I shall pursue my own agenda. I suspect that over time, others may well do the same.
Alternative Christmas Movies
As the season of goodwill reaches its zenith, there's nothing I like better than to sit in my comfy fireside chair with a bucket of Brandy, a mountain of nuts, whilst fitted with a catheter so I can watch some quality seasonally themed films. Let's face it Christmas TV is usually a load of old bollocks, consisting mainly of repeats of TV specials featuring dead, unfunny comedians and classic films butchered to fit the midday schedules and shown in the WRONG aspect ratio. So rather than enduring such poor entertainment, I thought I'd share the love and sentiments of the time of year, by recommending some alternative material for your edification.
As the season of goodwill reaches its zenith, there's nothing I like better than to sit in my comfy fireside chair with a bucket of Brandy, a mountain of nuts, whilst fitted with a catheter so I can watch some quality seasonally themed films. Let's face it Christmas TV is usually a load of old bollocks, consisting mainly of repeats of TV specials featuring dead, unfunny comedians and classic films butchered to fit the midday schedules and shown in the WRONG aspect ratio. So rather than enduring such poor entertainment, I thought I'd share the love and sentiments of the time of year, by recommending some alternative material for your edification.
Die Hard (1988)
So let us begin with the all-time best Crimble movie ever. Die Hard. Yes Uncle Bruce gets his vest dirty and shoots Germans. The star of the film is of course Alan Rickman who oozes malevolence and delivers his dialogue with abject relish. "I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way... so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life". A veritable blue print for other action films with is perfect blend of human drama, action and wisecracking. Go watch a high definition copy and relish the bullet hits. Oh and don't forget to kick it old school with Run DMC's Christmas in Hollis.
Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990)
Lightning can strike twice, even during the festive season, so next up we have Die Hard 2. Is it as good as the first? Of course not, but it's still a solid action movie which compensates for not having Alan Rickman, by including some really unpleasant violence. There’s a throat cutting, a head in the baggage handling machine and of course everyone favourite, the icicle in the eye. Plus we also get a cameo by the legendary Franco Nero (is that not the worlds coolest name?). Furthermore there's lots of snow. What can be more seasonal than that? This time round the Christmas song that has been neatly dove tailed into the production is "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow" by Vaughn Monroe.
The Silent Partner (1978)
Moving on to something a little more obscure but none the less rewarding. The Silent Partner is an excellent example of the hard boiled thriller genre from the seventies. Remember when films were gritty, with slick dialogue and populated with characters who didn't have to be A list leads? The Silent Partner is a heist movie with a difference. Career criminal Christopher Plummer fails to rob bank cashier Elliott Gould, who seeing the chance to pocket some cash himself, then proceeds to pin the blame on said robber. Discovering this duplicity, blackmail, murder and revenge ensue. Is it particularly Christmassy? Not really. However Mr Plummer does conduct the initial heist dressed as Santa, so that will suffice. This is a good film with a hard edge; the villain being a sexual sadist. There's also a rather unpleasant murder that comes as a shock to the average viewer and tropical fish enthusiasts.
Battle of the Bulge (1965)
Let’s take a more historical tack with regard to seasonal movies. It should not be forgotten that one of the last major offensives of WWII was fought was during the holiday period. Thus I would recommend to all discerning viewers of all-star, big budget war films, to reacquaint themselves with Battle of the Bulge. Nothing says Christmas more than big tanks and Robert Shaw as a Nazi. Don't forget to stamp your feet and join in with the Panzerlied. It's not a bad film for summarising the actual details of the battle, although purist tankophiles may bristle at the technical inaccuracies. German King Tiger tanks are depicted by American M47 Pattons, with M24 Chaffees representing the M4 Sherman. Telly Savalas plays a wisecracking, sarcastic anti-hero, as per usual. A good second choice for those who fancy a break from the season ritual that is The Great Escape.
Trading Places (1983)
A change of pace and scene now, with John Landis' classic 1983 comedy Trading Places. Yes back in the days when Eddie Murphy was still funny, this film really showcased his talents and put him on the Hollywood map. This intelligent comedy makes some wry observations not only on the issue of race, but also wealth and social demographics. It even led to some legal changes within the banking community (See the "Eddie Murphy Rule"). Is it directly linked to Christmas? Not entirely, but Dan Ackroyd does dress as Santa and part of the movie is set during the holiday season. I've added the picture above, not because it’s a gratuitous breast shot but to highlight the running gag of "See you next Wednesday", which features in many of John Landis' films.
Gremlins (1984)
It wouldn't be Christmas without a film about a cute adorable creature that multiplies when wet, and if fed after midnight turns into a slavering sociopath with a sense of gallows humour. Gremlins is Joe Dante's near perfect creature feature homage. This film is not only cinematically literate but great fun and also quite scary. The microwave scene still never fails to amuse me! Phoebe Cates monologue about the death of her Father at Christmas is very black indeed.
"The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus".
Lethal Weapon (1987)
Finally, I would like to briefly mention Lethal Weapon. I watched this again recently on Blu-ray and the first thing that struck me was how well the hardboiled dialogue was written for this genre of movie, courtesy of Shane Black. Buddy crime thriller movies are so totally overblown these days. Take Bad Boys II as an example. I appreciate that this type of film requires the viewer’s suspension of disbelief, but as my Grandad use to say "There's a difference between farting and shitting yourself". Lethal Weapon although action packed, doesn't jump the shark and is a well-crafted film. It boasts likeable characters and solid direction. Gary Busey is also a top villain. The man shoots a Christmas tree!
That completes the Contains Moderate Peril alternative Christmas guide and our recommendations of films we think make good substitutes to the standard drivel that fill the Christmas TV schedules. I’d like to honourably mention most film versions of A Christmas Carol (especially the Muppets Christmas Carol) as well as any adaptation of the Ghost stories of M.R. James. Christmas is a time for supernatural tales. Also don’t forget Raymond Brigg’s The Snowman. It’s a wonderful piece of animation. Next week there’ll be The Contains Moderate Peril guide to New Year and why that cultural tradition is also a load of old bollocks.
The Secularisation of Christmas Entertainment
The central theme of this post may well be better suited to a scholarly essay by a noted academic. I'm afraid all you'll get from me are just a few personal observations. But I wanted to raise this subject because I am at an age now where I am very conscious of the changes that have happened in UK society over the course of my life. I'm not advocating one side of the debate over another, just merely collating my thoughts on a broad cultural shift. Christmas has become increasingly secular over recent decades and because I write about popular entertainment that is the medium I viewed this process through.
The central theme of this post may well be better suited to a scholarly essay by a noted academic. I'm afraid all you'll get from me are just a few personal observations. But I wanted to raise this subject because I am at an age now where I am very conscious of the changes that have happened in UK society over the course of my life. I'm not advocating one side of the debate over another, just merely collating my thoughts on a broad cultural shift. Christmas has become increasingly secular over recent decades and because I write about popular entertainment that is the medium I viewed this process through.
As a child of the seventies, I grew up as a cultural Christian. School began each day with a formal assembly in which hymns were sung, Bible passages were often read and a moral lesson was taught by the headmaster/mistress. Shops closed on Sunday, the public broadly attended services and the establishment still showed deference to the Anglican Church and other denominations. Irrespective of my personal beliefs, I was raised in a society that was steeped in Christian tradition (and still is). Remember that church and state have never been truly separate throughout UK history.
As I have previously written about Easter, Christian faith has slowly been driven out of the TV schedules over the years. Faith based content is far from common place on the major TV networks. TV shows and films seem to focus on the secular aspects of the season, such as family, the exchange of gifts and being together. Much of this alternative entertainment is based around the faux mythology of Santa Claus, Kris Kringle or even Dicken's tale of Ebenezer Scrooge's redemption. The Christian message with its fundamental tenets of service to others, giving and personal self-sacrifice do not sit well with a prevailing culture of self-indulgence and hedonism.
In recent years, a new factor has impacted upon the inclusion of Christianity in most forms of Christmas entertainment. Because the debate between religion and the secular has become increasingly polarised the media have naturally focused on extremes on both sides of the debate. Such elements are always good for a cheap binary headline. As a result Christianity is portrayed as the province of killjoys, bigots and the lunatic fringe, despite this not being an accurate or fair representation.
With regard to gaming, trying to dovetail a Christian message into such a medium is a difficult task. The lore and other worldly settings negate any obvious Christmas reference. The fact that games, especially the MMO genre have a global audience, developers are mindful of the diversity of the player base and the multiple faiths they represent. As a result we get Winter Festivals, Yuletide events and other broader concepts. These are more akin to our secular Christmas experiences in the real world. Yet they often come across as somewhat hollow undertakings and somehow fail to capture the sentiment of the season.
At this time of year in the UK, it is traditional for the head of state to broadcast a Christmas message. The Queen is formally the "Defender of the Faith and Supreme Governor of the Church of England" and also comes from a generation that genuinely believe in their Christian faith. Therefore, when she speaks on such matters I believe she does so with utter personal conviction. I respect this in principle. Sadly the concept of a Christmas message has now been adopted by politicians as well as anyone with a media presence and an axe to grind. Seasonal messages from such quarters as these seldom have any credibility.
The secularisation of various facets of UK life is a complex subject and this post is far from a thorough exploration. I've simply collated a few thoughts on the matter. This beggars the question as to whether I have an overall point. If I do, then I believe it to be that the ongoing secularisation of Christmas, especially through the medium of entertainment, has not necessarily been to society's benefit. Although one can never recapture ones experiences of the past, I can honestly say that Christmas as it currently exists, is a somewhat hollow and arbitrary experience for me. It has usurped a festival that had positive moral connotations and replaced it with consumerism and “organized” fun. I don't know what the answers are to this conundrum or whether I am correct in my observations. All I know is that I feel that something has been lost and that makes me a little sad.
The Contains Moderate Peril Christmas Gift Guide
As we approach that time of year where we’re forced to spend time with people we don't like and pretend to enjoy their company, the tricky issue of buying suitable gifts rears its ugly head. This “great” tradition simply compounds a felony. Not only do we have to endure the terminally tedious, when then have to shower them with presents. Furthermore, in return for the carefully considered trinket you’ve purchased for the aforementioned bastard, you receive a tawdry piece of cheap, worthless shit, adding insult to injury. So much for it being the “season to be jolly”.
As we approach that time of year where we’re forced to spend time with people we don't like and pretend to enjoy their company, the tricky issue of buying suitable gifts rears its ugly head. This “great” tradition simply compounds a felony. Not only do we have to endure the terminally tedious, we then have to shower them with presents. Furthermore, in return for the carefully considered trinket you’ve purchased for the aforementioned bastard, you receive a tawdry piece of cheap, worthless shit, adding insult to injury. So much for it being the “season to be jolly”.
Therefore I thought I’d help ease this tiresome time of year by offering some advice regarding how to navigate the treacherous waters of these seasonal rituals. So I've decided to collate a gift guide filled with items that are unique, thought provoking and undeniable talking points. You may wish to use this post as a subtle hint with your respective loved one. Alternatively, why not buy one of them for yourself and to hell with everyone else. All are outstanding products and infinitely preferable to the hand knitted sweater your Aunty Bastard will send you. Please note that Contains Moderate Peril is not responsible for any marital strife/relationship angst that incur from purchasing any of these items.
Cylon Centurion Costume Replica (POA): Available from Kropserkel
Cut a dash at your office Christmas Party with this bold alternative to the traditional little black number.
Dalek Replica (POA): Available from Firebox
No smart dressed man or women should be without one.
M41-A Pulse Rifle Replica ($499.95): Available from Hollywood Collectibles
Outstanding but you'll have to make the noise yourself.
Star Wars Princess Leia Slave Outfit ($47.99): Available from Buy Costumes
Ask your partner to wear it and end a relationship. Alternatively, wear it yourself and end a relationship.
Cthulhu Plush Puppet ($19.95): Available from Toy Vault
One for the kiddies. "Hey kids, let's summon a Shoggoth..."
Star Trek The Original Series Tricorder ($49.99): Available from Diamond Select
Take a Tricorder reading to find out why your sex life is non-existent.
Replica Glaive ($170.00): Available from Hole in the Ground Productions
Throw it at Ken Marshall (Not Liam Neeson).
The Lament Configuration Replica (£100.00): Available from Hellraiser Box
Give it to someone you don't like and tell them not to waste good suffering.
Alien Facehugger Plush (£29.99): Available from Think Geek
Placing this on the face of a sleeping baby is VERY funny but is technically child abuse.
Wall Socket with built in 2 x USB Charging Ports (£9.99): Available from BT Shop
No really, I want these in my home!