Despite having written a blog posts claiming that there’s always something to write about, even I have days when I’m lacking inspiration. Or more to the point lacking in motivation to write. And today is a prime example. I’d much rather be doing something else, but I made a promise to myself to keep the blog content flowing. However, I discovered a selection of questions that have been doing the rounds, via Marathal over at Deez Words and decided to answer them. I’m sure you know the form. They’re a selection of “touchy-feely”, non-threatening questions designed to give the reader a simple thumbnail sketch of your “personality”. So, I thought to myself, “there’s today’s blog post”. I will try my best to answer sensibly and give as relevant answers as I can, but you know me.
How do I drink my tea? I don’t. Yes, that’s right I’m a British guy and I don’t like or drink tea. I usually drink bog standard black filter coffee. I don’t care for the whole Starbucks culture of taking beverages and infantilising/bastardising them with caramel, halloumi and chives. I like gin and try to drink that as often as I can.
Favourite dessert? I don’t really have favourites. There are something I like more than others, naturally, but why box yourself in with a favourite. Usually I like desserts that compliment the meal that I’ve just had. For example, after a spicy meal, I like something lemony or light and creamy to cleanse the palette.
Favourite season? My first answer about “favourite” notwithstanding, I prefer the summer co’s I like being warm. The cold and wet make me cranky.
What cheers me up? Humour, wit and good conversation. An episode of Yes Minister always lifts my spirits.
Dogs or Cats? I no longer have pets. In the past I’ve had cats, but they are parasitical bastards. But they look cute, so I guess it’s a quid pro quo.
Dream holiday? For me simply having a specific period of time where I am left to my own devices is a sufficient holiday for my needs.
How many kids do you want? I have one and that is sufficient. I have done my part keeping the species going, without excessively pillaging the environment. Yay Me. He’s an adult now and has his own family now.
Favourite weather? Warm weather, with clear skies and a light breeze. About 20-25 Celsius.
What would your last meal be? Hopefully something I like
If you could spend 24 hours anywhere, any year, where would you choose? Insert some cunningly contrived, time travel scheme here, where I could set up some sort of long-term investment plan that would pay off big time now.
If I were a ghost, who or where would you haunt? Jacob Marley. See how he liked it.
What is your family ancestry? My grandfather researched our family tree extensively during his lifetime. We have traced family back to the St. Bartholomew's Day massacre. Prior to that it’s not so clear but we have links to the Frankish kingdom and a Norman warlord.
What scares you? Wilful ignorance, the intellectual blackout that is spreading throughout western culture and the collapse of functional democratic politics and public discourse. I don’t dig spiders either.
What are you most grateful for? The baggage retrieval system they got at Heathrow. Oh, hang on, That was “worried about”. In that case I guess I’m grateful for my health. Enjoy it while you can.
Dream job? I’ve enjoyed the intellectual challenge that various jobs have provided me with over the years, but frankly I don’t like working, especially for others. I am not defined by what I do to get money. For me the dream is complete financial independence and thus not work ever again, just a life of leisure.
Do you believe in aliens? I believe the possibility that they may exist statistically.
Favourite sport? I don’t like sport, unless Mario Kart is a sport, then its Mario Kart.
How do I relax after a long day? A good meal, a fine wine, excellent company, an engaging film, a good book or video game. Any permutation of these will suffice.
If I could meet one historical figure, who would you choose and why? Again no one really. I’ve learned that meeting your heroes can be a real disappointment.
If I had to be a teacher, what subject would you teach? I would like to teach children aged about seven or so, about the realities of life. You know the sort of stuff. Point out why their painting isn’t good enough to go on the fridge or why they can’t actually be a Disney princess and how life is mainly tedium with brief moments of joy.
Describe your perfect day? Being left the fuck alone. It also helps if it involves gin, a mixed grill and some genoa cake.
Describe yourself in a sentence? Hungry.
Who makes me laugh the most? Witty and amusing, intelligent people. Raconteurs (not people who “think” they’re raconteurs).
What super power would you choose? The one that allows me to be left the fuck alone.
Favourite animal? The edible kind.
What is your biggest accomplishment? I’ve raised a child and they didn’t die.