The Contains Moderate Peril Christmas Gift Guide
As we approach that time of year where we’re forced to spend time with people we don't like and pretend to enjoy their company, the tricky issue of buying suitable gifts rears its ugly head. This “great” tradition simply compounds a felony. Not only do we have to endure the terminally tedious, we then have to shower them with presents. Furthermore, in return for the carefully considered trinket you’ve purchased for the aforementioned bastard, you receive a tawdry piece of cheap, worthless shit, adding insult to injury. So much for it being the “season to be jolly”.
Therefore I thought I’d help ease this tiresome time of year by offering some advice regarding how to navigate the treacherous waters of these seasonal rituals. So I've decided to collate a gift guide filled with items that are unique, thought provoking and undeniable talking points. You may wish to use this post as a subtle hint with your respective loved one. Alternatively, why not buy one of them for yourself and to hell with everyone else. All are outstanding products and infinitely preferable to the hand knitted sweater your Aunty Bastard will send you. Please note that Contains Moderate Peril is not responsible for any marital strife/relationship angst that incur from purchasing any of these items.
Cylon Centurion Costume Replica (POA): Available from Kropserkel
Cut a dash at your office Christmas Party with this bold alternative to the traditional little black number.
Dalek Replica (POA): Available from Firebox
No smart dressed man or women should be without one.
M41-A Pulse Rifle Replica ($499.95): Available from Hollywood Collectibles
Outstanding but you'll have to make the noise yourself.
Star Wars Princess Leia Slave Outfit ($47.99): Available from Buy Costumes
Ask your partner to wear it and end a relationship. Alternatively, wear it yourself and end a relationship.
Cthulhu Plush Puppet ($19.95): Available from Toy Vault
One for the kiddies. "Hey kids, let's summon a Shoggoth..."
Star Trek The Original Series Tricorder ($49.99): Available from Diamond Select
Take a Tricorder reading to find out why your sex life is non-existent.
Replica Glaive ($170.00): Available from Hole in the Ground Productions
Throw it at Ken Marshall (Not Liam Neeson).
The Lament Configuration Replica (£100.00): Available from Hellraiser Box
Give it to someone you don't like tell them not to waste good suffering.
Alien Facehugger Plush (£29.99): Available from Think Geek
Placing this on the face of a sleeping baby is VERY funny but is technically child abuse.
Wall Socket with built in 2 x USB Charging Ports (£9.99): Available from BT Shop
No really, I want these in my home!